Chapter Text
Henry doesn't know what he's doing.
His feet on autopilot, passing Brooklynites rushing for another busy workday.
He has been walking like this for 40 minutes, since he got off the airport and took a taxi to the place where they used to live.
As henry walked, he passed a small stand, where he used to walk David and bought him coffee with cinnamon . Just a few meters away was the park where they would have picnics every Saturday, lying next to each other on a soft blanket and listening to their joint playlist.
His shoes scuffing on the paving stones, just as they did when he made his way home after a long day at work, knowing he would return to a warm smile and a sweet kiss.
Henry makes a sharp turn, onto an inner street, brown houses standing in an orderly row. his eyes fixate on the third house in the row, peering into the big window , looking for a familiar figure, but without success.
He stops ,looks towards the big building, now threatening, patronizing henry , challenging him to enter.
And that's exactly why he's there - to take a step into the house that was his refuge, to fight for the love of his life, to win back what was his.
He has been standing and looking at the house for 10 minutes, not bringing himself to take a step and ring the doorbell. what was he thinking? That he can finally figure his shit out after four months of crying in bed, knock on the door and be greeted with this smile, with warm and loving arms? How dare he step on the territory that was once theirs? Before he left in one stupid fatal choice?
He doesn't know, but he dares, because he hasn't slept properly in too long, he hasn't smiled in too long, he hasn't felt anything but regret in too long. He gave up once already, he's not going to do it again.
He feels his legs leading him towards the big house, going up one step after another, until he reaches a big white door, a barrier between him and the life he had before.
His hand slowly rises, and with anxiety mixed with determination he knocks three times and waits.
A few moments pass, and then he heard hurried steps from inside the house moving towards the door, it's him, it's him and he's coming and Henry will explain and they'll be fine because it's them.
The door opens, and Henry’s face fell when he saw a man with long black hair and broad shoulders in the doorway, he gave Henry a friendly smile and leaned on the side of the door as if he feels at home, for some reason Henry already doesn’t like him.
"Hey, how can I help you?"
"Hello, I understand that the man I was looking for no longer lives here, do you have his current address?" he asked politely.
Alex sold the house then, it's understandable, why would he want to live in a place where they made so many memories together, until Henry ran away and left it all behind.
"The previous tenant was 87 years old, maybe he's in a nursing home? Sorry, but I don't have any information about that." Henry frowned, 87? It was the age of the nice old man who was eager to sell his house to a young couple in love.
Something didn't work out here.
"No, I don't mean him, someone else used to live here –" but he was interrupted by another sound of footsteps.
"Baby, you promised to make me your famous crepes" a deep voice sounded approaching them, a tanned hand wrapped around the stranger's shoulder ,wild brown curls tangling with smooth black hair, a defined body leaning against another one.
Chocolate brown eyes stared at him, his breath caught, and he felt his heart beating so hard, as if threatening to jump from his
chest and dive into this eyes.
He saw in slow motion how the eyes widen in shock as they met his, the charming smile slowly gone from his beautiful face.
The stranger turned in his direction with a smile "Hey honey, this nice man wants to know who lived here before us, do you know anything about it?" Henry was still engrossed in Alex's eyes when he heard this.
Before us?
what? What is this man saying? It can't be that...
He watched them, leaning on each other, the stranger's arm around the waist of the one who was once his. Henry was afraid it would happen, expected it even, but it didn't prepare him for the sudden pain he felt in his chest, or the cold sensation that flooded his entire body and left him trembling .
"I don't think we can help him" an icy voice brought him back to reality, and equally cold eyes stared back at him.
Henry took a deep breath, he was not going to give up on him again.
"Alex."
It was the first time he had said that name since their breakup, and now he couldn't think of a reality where he didn't say it every day.
Alex's lips parted slightly and he gasped, as if it affected him too, his hand dropped from the other man.
But his posture was stiff, and Henry, despite being a poet, did not dare to begin to describe the expression that was on Alex's face at that moment.
"I have to talk to you Alex, if you give me five minutes I will explain everything, please" Henry begged.
Alex's boyfriend watched the interaction in confusion, then apparently decided it was a private conversation.
"I was going to leave for errands anyway , I'll leave you two to talk alone."
He kissed Alex's cheek and left the house, turning left and disappearing from their sight.
Alex's eyes stayed on Henry, his anger subsided and was replaced by something else, pain mabey?
He turned and went into the house, leaving the door open so Henry took that as a sign to go in after him and close the door after both of them.
Henry braced himself and took a step towards Alex, "I know I don't deserve this Alex", he didn't want to stop saying that name ever, "but I owe you an explanation".
Alex's back was turned to him, and even from behind Henry could see how stiff his shoulders were.
Henry opened his mouth, ready to beg to explain as many times as necessary, when Alex turned to face him, his eyes narrowed in anger, he had never given Henry such a look.
"Explain? You want to explain, Henry? You want to explain to me why the hell you came home one day, packed your things and never looked back? How you left me, standing like an idiot in our bedroom, calling you a thousand times just so you can ghost me every time?" " Alex shook his head and turned his back to Henry again, taking a deep breath.
A few moments of silence passed, and then Alex laughed bitterly , "Well, I guess it doesn't really matter now anyway, I've moved on, Henry, and I'm happy now, and I really don't need you in my life anymore."
An ugly feeling was woven in Henry's chest, "So this is your boyfriend?" he asked in a small voice.
Alex turned back to him, and nodded with determination "Yes, he found me crying my life out into a glass of beer in a bar a month later, asked me what was wrong, he was here for me, and then he became something more". Alex's eyes found Henry’s, he looked like he was looking for something in Henry's face, and he must have found it, because now there was a small glimmer of victory in his eyes, "I moved on, what we had is over, as you made very clear to me when you ran like a coward from our house.”
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Alex, you're right, I was a coward, I was afraid, I was afraid of what we had, I was happy for the first time in my life since my dad died, and I was afraid of getting hurt so much that in the end I was the one who hurt you."
The sparkle disappeared from Alex's face, and was replaced by something that looked like desperation, "Why would I hurt you, Henry? What put that thought in your mind in the first place?! I always showed you how important you were to me, I always made sure you knew it, that you went to bed at night and woke up in the morning knowing that what we have is strong."
"Don't you remember, Alex? The last few weeks, you came back from Texas after two weeks of being so engrossed in work that you hardly answered when I called, I complained to you about it when you were home, and then we fought like we never did before, you went to sleep in the guest room after two weeks of not hugging you, It was terrible. The next day you went to work and you didn't come back when I got home, when I got up in the morning you were gone, and the same happened the day after. Do you understand what it did to me? The voices in my head kept telling me that you stopped loving me, that you were going to leave me, I had to go before you broke my heart."
Henry wiped away his tears, but they continued to fall, that day had not left his mind for four months, kept playing in his head on repeat.
Any sign of anger disappeared from Alex's face, he reached out to him and pulled him close, embracing him in a warm hug that they both needed so much.
Henry buried his head in Alex's chest, breathing in the smell of cinnamon and apples, Alex's smell, the smell he couldn't stop thinking about from the moment he left their house.
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed, wetting Alex's shirt, and Alex just ran his fingers through his hair and pulled him even closer, "I shouldn't have left like that, I shouldn't have ignored your calls, I wouldn't have been able to hear your voice say to me that you were happy that I was leaving."
They stayed hugged for a few more minutes until Alex pulled Henry from his chest and looked deep into his eyes.
"I shouldn't have ignored you after we fought, we should have talked, understood each other. I missed you."
Henry smiled at him, but then remembered the man with the black hair who opened the door for him, how comfortable he looked at home, with Alex.
"So you live together? You and.."
"Tom, his name is Tom" Alex sighed and released him, running a hand through his curly hair, Henry watched as the curls bounced back into place.
"Do you love him?" Henry asked, Alex refused to meet his eyes and just nodded "Yes, I l-love him, and he lives here right now," Alex turned away now, went into the kitchen, took his coffee from the counter and took a big sip. Henry frowned, after three months they have already moved in together? Either they are really in love or Alex was too hasty, and Henry really didn't want to believe the first option.
"I understand" Henry said, blinking away the waterfall of tears ready to fall, he entered the kitchen and looked at Alex, who now placed his elbows on the table, His hands cover his face, as if he is trying to hide himself from Henry.
"So I don't have a chance with you?" Henry asked, trying to match a humorous tone to the question but it came out more sincere than anything else, Alex lifted his head from where it was hidden between his hands, and looked at some point on the wall behind Henry. In a hesitant voice that was unlike him he said "You hurt me Henry, and now I have Tom, and I want to be with him."
Henry nodded weakly, looked at Alex for a few more moments, as if trying to engrave his image in his mind, then turned back and left the kitchen. He walked into the living room and Alex, after a minute, followed him, they were standing there in the living room, Henry looked at the sofa where they used to cuddle every day, watching a movie and exchanging opinions more than actually watching it, eating Mexican food that Alex learned to make from his abuela. Alex looked there too, and there was a moment in the air, grief about what they had, about what might not be anymore.
A ruddle of keys was heard from outside and the door opened, Tom entered the living room, his long hair was dripping with water, his clothes were soaked and the grocery bag he was holding was half full of water.
Tom looked up from the bags to Alex, Henry looked at him too, and was surprised to see a slightly guilty look on his face, but before he realized why, Tom put the bags on the floor and moved closer to hug Alex.
"Wow honey you won't believe it" he told him, wrapping his dripping sleeves around Alex, Henry saw Alex grimace and take a small step back.
"There's a whole storm outside, rain, hail, on TV in the supermarket they said that a hurricane is coming, so I bought a lot of supply for us, oh hey you are still here", Tom turned to Henry now, the same friendly - annoying smile was still there on his face despite his poor condition, Henry really shouldn't have been so upset with him.
"Go back to the hurricane part" Alex said a little stressed, Henry could understand him.
"Oh yes, there is now a severe lockdown, no going out and all that, not too bad, more time just for the two of us" Tom finished with a smile. Henry wanted to throw up.
Alex broke free from his grip and ran to turn on the TV, within seconds the screen displayed scary looking graphs.
"A sudden hurricane is approaching us! All citizens of Brooklyn are banned from leaving their homes starting now, I hope for your sake you have supplies because it's going to be a week of total isolation at home, try not to go crazy."
Alex turned off the TV and the three of them stared at the black screen in silence. Drops fell from Tom's pants on the floor and broke the silence, Henry looked down and saw a small puddle formed on the floor, he wondered if it was possible to drown himself with that amount of water.