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When Lum wrote her name, as she'd always done, at the top of her test, she little imagined what it would lead to. And Ataru, who'd only glanced over to give himself a laugh at whatever doodles she'd been scribbling, was equally unprepared for the surprise of seeing his surname on her paper. Combined with her given name, it read in full - Moroboshi, Lum. His face twisted, aghast at the audacity of her to stitch the two without even consulting him!
"H-hey!" Ataru barked, startling the class so they all looked at him, along with Onsen-Mark, who sat both baffled and offended at the head of the room. "Who said you could use my last name?"
Lum was far less surprised by his outburst than she was annoyed at the scene he was making. And during a test no less!
"I'm your wife," she reminded him with authority, "what other name would I use?"
"You are not my wife!" Ataru corrected harshly. "You can use your own last name!" A name he didn't know and had never asked about, come to think of it.
"We don't have those." And that would be why he didn't know it.
"Then leave it blank!"
"I can't just leave it blan-" Her argument died as Ataru reached across the aisle between their desks with his pencil and started erasing his half of the name. Lum screeched and snatched the paper out of reach. "No! This's the name I always use!"
Ataru paused, his face again screwed up with disbelief. Always? What the hell did she mean by that?
"Since when!?" He erupted, exasperated.
"It's the name I enrolled with!"
Ataru felt his soul leave him. Somewhere within the confines of the principles reconstructed office was an enrollment form with the name "Moroboshi, Lum". And absolutely nobody bothered to tell him! How was that legal!?
"Wha-!"
"We're in the middle of a test!" At last Onsen-Mark broke into their argument, "Keep your eyes on your own paper and be quiet!"
This worked for all of a few seconds.
Ataru glared sidelong at Lum who was fixated on her test, or at least pretending to be.
"Erase it." he hissed quietly. Onsen-Mark's brow twitched.
"Shh." Lum did not even raise her eyes.
Not to be shut out Ataru reached over again with his pencil. Only this time Lum was prepared and chopped her hand down, blocking its path. What followed was a quiet yet violent struggle with Lum doggedly defending her married name from a pink, rubbery demise. Most of the class wore a bemused expression, except for a few who found their altercation comical and more worthy of attention than the test they were supposed to be taking. At his desk Onsen-Mark was growing increasingly more agitated, lines of anger knotting up his forehead and chin as his scowl deepened. Once they started throwing supplies at each other his patience evaporated.
"Both of you out in the hall!" Lurching over his desk, voice booming, Onsen-Mark pointed the quarrelsome couple toward the door. Ataru scoffed and obeyed - he hadn't wanted to take the test anyway. Lum was initially less compliant - why was she in trouble when it was Ataru's fault? - but Onsen-Mark was not keen on debating with his students. And ultimately Lum decided it was better to keep tabs on her mischievous husband than argue with the teacher. So out into the hall they went, brooding, with their backs against the wall and cold shoulders spared to each other.
Unable to swallow her bitterness, Lum spoke up first.
"This's your fault." She snapped.
Ataru turned his nose up at the accusation.
"No it's not," he declared. "If you just erased my name like I told you we wouldn't be out here."
Lum huffed stubbornly and crossed her arms.
"Well too bad, I'm not doing that." She quipped.
"I never said you could use it, so you better stop." Ataru paused, then added, "And you better take it off whatever else you've been putting it on."
"It's our last name, and no I wont."
"No it's not and yes you will."
From beyond the wall behind them Onsen-Mark's voice cut through their bickering; "Be quiet out there!"
Both Lum and Ataru flinched at the sudden intrusion, recovering swiftly to glare at one another before turning their heads away.
"Stop using my name." Ataru whispered with a hint of malice.
"No." Lum refused resolutely.
"Yes."
"No."
And on they went until the test was over and both were admitted back into class with a stern warning from their teacher to behave - which neither of them took to heart. Ataru and Lum returned to their seats, each refusing to acknowledge the other for the duration of the morning.
Even when lunch came around Lum wanted nothing to do with her husband, choosing instead to eat with Shinobu and Ryuu. Naturally though, to avoid Ataru she'd have been better off eating with Mendō or any of the other guys. Ataru was among them almost immediately, swooning over the other two as Lum did her best to ignore him, content in the knowledge that both girls could handle themselves. But Lum couldn't ignore the loud slap of his hand on her desk when his attention turned to her after being soundly, violently, rejected. With a questioning glare he invaded her space further.
"Are you going to stop using my name?"
At once Lum slammed her hands on the desk and rose to meet his height, snarling as she did so, "No! Stop asking!"
Knowing he wouldn't listen, Lum collected her lunch and stole out the window where he couldn't follow. Nor did she return until after lunch ended.
But Ataru was nothing if persistent, and in the midst of Math class he'd flicked a note on Lum's desk, folded into a triangle and looking very suspicious. She had a mind not to read it, only doing so on the off-chance he was actually feeling remorseful. A foolish thought, she realized, on reading the words scratched across the paper; STOP USING MY NAME! With a subtle growl Lum balled the note and flicked it toward Ataru, who was conveniently glaring daggers at her, so that it landed in one of his eyes. Lum felt a rush of satisfaction, until he used it as an excuse to go to the nurses office, wagging his tongue as he left her to seethe in her chair.
Oh but she had the last laugh when Ataru returned looking far more beat up than before.
Much to Onsen-Mark's relief the rest of the day continued uneventfully. Lum and Ataru seemed to have settled on just not speaking to each other, and that was fine enough for him since they shouldn't be talking anyway. There was a lot to cover that day, and he'd scheduled a short film for them to watch (with a test to follow) detailing the inane gibberish that comprised the English language. All that "there, their, they're" nonsense, and the complex utility behind the word 'had', along with other unique abnormalities. This seemed to remove all emotion from his class besides boredom. Which was also a win for Onsen-Mark, if only because it kept them quiet.
Unfortunately for Lum, Ataru found his second wind at the end of the day during clean-up.
Slyly did he watch as she collected her notes and books, tapping them against her desk to keep them in order before filing them neatly inside her school bag. She was just about to leave when Ataru stepped lithely in front of her.
"So Lum," he began innocently enough - too bad it was a ploy to disarm her, "Are you going to stop using my name?"
Something snapped inside Lum. Electricity popped through the air as anger flamed in her eyes and darkened her face.
"Fine!" She bellowed, causing Ataru and everyone around her to shudder instinctively. But instead of her usual electric punishment, she snagged her bag and flung its contents across the desk. Then, one by one, Lum went through the pages and systematically crossed out or straight-up burned Ataru's surname from them. A crowd had gathered tentatively behind Ataru, ready to flee should her anger spike again.
After a bit of this they took to murmuring; Mendō saw this coming; Kosuke had only sympathy for Lum, as did Ryuu; Shinobu was disappointed but not surprised. Ataru was quiet, watching page after page flash past his eyes. And with each stroke of her pen or finger the smugness faded from his face, so that by the end he was reduced to staring, pensive and dispirited, in the wake of his surnames thorough execution.
Then at last she came to her bag, and with a swift strike of her finger, blasted the name card into ashes. Using both hands she gathered the papers with far less care than before, shoved them back in her bag, and whipped the top flap shut.
"There!" Lum whirled wrathfully on Ataru, sparks dancing through the air around her. "Happy now!?" Her voice cracked and her eyes took on a reflective sheen. To this his shoulders slumped, and his throat writhed with unspoken words.
"Moroboshi!" Onsen-Mark's deep voice carried over the crowd, drawing their eyes to him. "Bring this back to the supply room." He gestured toward a television cart near the door before returning to the miserable task of grading papers. And just like that, as if his command were a closing curtain, the crowd of onlookers and friends dispersed.
Ataru felt a rush of indignation that died before it matured into rebellion. After the day he'd had, from morning until now, he couldn't muster the energy for another altercation. A groan gave form to his displeasure, but that was all. Lum gripped her bag and flew past Ataru, who watched anxiously to see if she'd leave or wait for him. When she stopped beside the cart he visibly relaxed. At least he hadn't driven her away, not this time. That she still remained by his side - not just after today, but after everything - was a marvel in and of itself. Sluggishly he fetched his school bag from the floor and joined her, dropping it on a shelf below the VHS player. And taking up either side of the cart he guided it through the door, Lum hovering behind him.
Down the emptying halls they went, without conversation, dark classroom windows on one side and gray windows on the other adding a solemn note to their journey. Ataru pushed the cart onward, stealing occasional glances at Lum when he wasn't busy navigating the bulky thing. Sadness still glistened in her eyes, but otherwise she was cold-faced. Ataru looked much the same, with a muted expression and troubled light behind his eyes. And it was in this fashion, steeped in silence but for the occasional squeak of a neglected wheel, that they arrived at the supply room.
The musty smell of aged machines greeted them as Ataru slid the door open. Light filtering in from behind them caught bits of steel and sleeping screens so they shimmered dimly in the dark room. Maintaining his lack of enthusiasm Ataru pushed the television cart inside, his mind still working over the day's events. Lum, however, was instantly taken by the lonely room. It was as if they'd stepped into a museum of ancient technological marvels and she was stricken with wonderment. Her eyes passed appraisingly, with almost professional interest, over the many trinkets scattered across shelves and tables - VHS players, cassette recorders, projectors, and an assortment of miscellaneous teaching aids. Each device was studied carefully as she drifted through the room while Ataru looked for a good place to deposit the cart. Any corner would do, probably. And if he was wrong, well, it was Onsen-Mark's fault for entrusting him with the task.
So he parked it in the nearest open corner, venturing next toward the door where a binder sat open on a podium for students to sign for pick-up and drop-off (and so staff knew who to blame should something go missing or break). Ataru lifted a nearby pen and pressed the tip of it into the paper where it lingered, unmoving. For a good few seconds he stared musingly at the sheet, brows pinched. Then his attention passed to Lum, who was still gazing upon the old equipment, most likely wondering how humanity managed to function given the infancy of their technology. He observed her quietly, beholding her innocent admiration as she coasted along the shelf-framed walls, until the lines on his face smoothed and his eyes cleared.
Ataru dropped his gaze and gave the pen life. It danced across one line, then a second, and having completed the task he set it down with a clack that echoed offensively through the surrounding silence.
"Lum." At his call she turned to see Ataru standing by the doorway, his school bag slung over his shoulder, his gaze averted to the hallway; it was time to go. Casting one last fond look over the dust-laden menagerie, Lum floated over a clutter of desks to join her husband at the exit. Yet before she could reach him Ataru turned on his heels, beating a swift retreat without so much as a glance in her direction. Lum's face puffed with an angry pout and she breezed out the door, ready to hunt Ataru down, till she realized she'd left her own school bag inside.
"Oh, wait a sec Darling." Ataru continued down the hall. So she called again, louder: "Darling!" His head lowered, but he did not stop. Lum grumbled, rolling her eyes at his petulance, before darting back into the room to fetch her nearly-forgotten bag. On her return the book, still bathed in a shaft of light from the hall, caught her eyes and Lum stopped so suddenly her skirt and hair billowed forward. Closer she inclined, at first disbelieving, but then her cheeks flushed pink and affection softened her demeanor. And love, pure and true, shone from her eyes as she flipped buoyantly through the air and back out into the hallway to chase down her husband with renewed faith and adoration.
Two names were scrawled on the return column of the page, one above the other.
Moroboshi, Ataru
Moroboshi, Lum