Work Text:
Yoongi falls for Jimin carelessly. He falls for his smile that took the sun’s brightness, falls for his eyes that crinkle way too cutely for Yoongi’s small heart to handle, falls for his stories of this morning and that stranger or this stupid friend, falls for everything that is Jimin—from the joyful laughter that brings wilted flowers back to life to the perilous fact that one touch shared between the two can mean death for the younger.
It was something Yoongi curses at. Though he curses at it to be gone, to just bring Jimin a life far from being a sprite; Yoongi falls for it as well. He falls in love for a fire sprite with so much carelessness, but it was probably the best decision he ever made. No regrets written on it, and there never will be written regrets. Never.
“I really want to hold your hand.” Yoongi says around the rim of his cup filled with black coffee. They’re at a café not too far away from the university Jimin is in. It’s always during this late afternoon after Jimin’s classes when they sit at the deepest part of the café, sharing stories of that day’s early morning or glances filled with admiration and words that’s dipped with so much love and affection. So much love and affection that will never be expressed through subtle touches. And it was painful.
Jimin chuckles quite sadly, “You’ll kill me, hyung.” It wasn’t a joke. The words ached in their hearts and Yoongi wants to mend Jimin’s heart, knowing too well the younger is crying inside. But Yoongi’s also crying inside, his heart clenching too tightly at the pain and the tears are pooling in his stomach. “But, I guess that’s alright. I’ll love you either way if you killed me or not.”
“You’re the one killing me, to be honest.” Yoongi replies, bringing his cup back to his lips to take another sip. Coffee was always nice to add to the sea of tears and acid in his stomach. It somehow eases the pain a little and maybe a few more liters of coffee, Yoongi will wake up the next day feeling fine. But no matter what kind of object he turns into a drug, the ache for Jimin’s touch will always be there.
“You still love me, right?” Jimin raises a brow as he smirks. The atmosphere is lightened up a bit as Yoongi chuckles, replying with a small nod and a loving stare. It was times like this when Yoongi just wants to reach over the table and bring Jimin’s lips to his own, because whenever Jimin blushes, he tends to bite his lips and look away for a while before looking over to Yoongi to talk about the stupid teacher at Chemistry class this morning or to talk about Taehyung probably being an alien from Mars. And the image of the kiss will just stay in Yoongi’s mind and he will just have to dream about it at night.
They did kiss, somehow. It wasn’t an indirect kiss where they share a bottle of mineral water or share the rim of a glass filled with orange juice. They just… kissed. There weren’t any contact of lips or touches of skin because that’s something that’s not supposed to happen. But it was late at night when they decided to roam around Myeongdong. They passed by a lot of street vendors that varied from food to clothing or candy. And when Jimin covers Yoongi’s face with a mask, Yoongi feels the younger’s lips against the mouth of the mask and Yoongi stills.
He sees Jimin’s closed eyes through the small eyehole of the mask and Yoongi thinks, why not. So he leans in and kisses Jimin through the cardboard of the mask; hoping the cardboard wasn’t in between. The kiss didn’t last long and Jimin pulls the mask away, cheeks tinted with crimson red and Yoongi’s pretty sure his own ears are also of the same shade. Jimin turns to the female vendor who obviously didn’t care about the exchange between the two and asked how much the mask was. The younger gets his answer and pays, he holds on to the mask instead of tucking in a black plastic bag.
“That was our first kiss.” Jimin sighs lovingly as he tightens his hold on the mask, but not too much to actually ruin it. “It wasn’t romantic and the mask was a cockblock, but I liked it very much.”
Yoongi also liked it very much. It was the nearest contact he had with Jimin and he wouldn’t mind for it to happen again. “One day,” Yoongi starts as they both move aside to let a car pass by, “I’m going to kiss you full on the lips. We’ll hold hands and I’ll get to hug you and keep you in my arms.” Yoongi finishes, sighing as they, again, both move aside for a truck to pass by. “One day.” He adds. They both ignore the wish of one day sinking down into the earth, finding its peace in Yoongi and Jimin’s sadness and broken hearts.
“I’ll look forward to that day.” Jimin smiles and Yoongi doesn’t miss the sadness through it. He smiles back, trying his best not to mirror the same sadness Jimin had in his smile. It fails but Jimin looks away blushing and Yoongi chuckles, continuing their night in Myeongdong.
Jimin was depressed, but Yoongi wants nothing more than to pull Jimin out of it.
There were nights Jimin cried into his pillow, blanket thrown somewhere across the room due to uncontrolled stress, and body trembling from too much unwanted pain. Yoongi watches. He watches from the door to the bedroom where Jimin cries. The need to rush over to Jimin and hug him and tell him it’s okay—everything will be okay, was there. If Yoongi didn’t have very little self-restraint, he might have rushed over and instead of comforting Jimin; he might have killed him too.
The cries rings up a little louder and Jimin starts to grip into the bed sheet tightly. Yoongi rushes to the kitchen to grab a glass of water; he fills the cup with only a few words to summon the fresh waters and fill the glass itself. He comes back and places the cup down on the side table of Jimin’s bed. “Shh, baby, it’s going to be okay. I’m here.” Yoongi says with his hands to himself because he can’t touch Jimin and it aches. Why was he a water sprite? Why must water and fire not touch each other? Why? He keeps the threatening tears in, but he fails and he cries into his hands quietly.
When Yoongi looks up at the same time Jimin did, they both let out a small laugh and maybe, you don’t always need someone to hold you when you’re down. Sometimes you just need someone to be sad with. And Yoongi’s happy he has someone like Jimin to feel the sadness with.
“Aren’t we such pussies for crying together?” Jimin says after he finished the glass of water on his side table. Yoongi laughs in reply, “Love means doing everything together, Jimin.” He looks at the younger and he gives back the same loving look Jimin gives him.
And yes, love means doing everything together.
So on one night, Jimin kisses Yoongi on the lips and time stops for a split second before it runs again, but this time it runs way too fast for their liking. As Jimin’s body fades into smoke, Yoongi pulls the younger closer by the hips and cups Jimin’s cheek in one hand. He leaves it like that. Yoongi tries to memorize Jimin in a whole different way. The fingers, lips, hips and the beating heart he feels on his chest. But his heart slowly dies along with Jimin as he feels Jimin’s lower half now emitted to nothing but smoke.
His arm that was supposed to stay around Jimin’s hips just now grabs at air and Jimin pulls away from the kiss and Yoongi sees the happiest smile on the younger. “Jimin.” His breath hitches at his throat, “No.” He chokes and before he can grab Jimin’s face into another kiss—he grabs at smoke and watches it dissipate into thin air.
Yoongi falls down on his knees. There are tears that doesn’t hold back running down his cheeks, his hands are shaking together with his body and he tries to scream out frustration and sorrow but he parts his lips and whispers an almost inaudible, “Jimin.”
When Yoongi feels like he can bring himself to the pharmacy to buy some pills, he stands up and does exactly what his body felt like doing. The lady behind the counter raises a brow before going off to get the man’s desired pills. He pays too much money and he ignores the lady’s call for him to get his extra money back.
He reaches his apartment and walks to the bathroom, turning every faucet he passes by with some words under his breath. Yoongi looks at the mirror and he remembers too much memories of Jimin. With a few words, he turns on the faucet of the bathtub and sink on full. Yoongi ignores the pain from Jimin’s smile and laughter as he fishes out pills into his hands. But when the pills roll into his palm, he finally lets the pain get to him.
He lets the pain of a broken wish of one day bite into his heart. Lets the pain of needing to touch Jimin stab him like little needles. Lets the pain of falling in love with an opposite sprite curl into him. Lets the pain of Jimin’s last kiss and hold make way into his veins and into his broken heart. Making Yoongi’s small broken heart finally break into nothing but dust.
The pain doesn’t bring tears running down his cheeks but it does bring Yoongi’s palm full of pills to his mouth for him to swallow.
Yoongi wakes up to a boy he remembered he loved so much. The boy smiles like he took the sun’s brightness and his eyes crinkle way too cutely for Yoongi’s small heart to handle; wilted flowers probably came back to life when the boy laughed. “Is this the one day you were talking about, Yoongi hyung?” And Yoongi grabs the boy into another kiss, “I love you, Jimin.” And time seems to be frozen and pain seemed to be just a myth while love lasted and lasted.