Chapter Text
If Yuuji could go back in time to about twenty seconds ago, he would probably do it in a heartbeat.
“Oh,” Fushiguro’s—stupidly long, if you ask him—lashes flutter as he blinks. “Well, in that case, I’ll come by around eight?”
“Uh, yeah!” Yuuji manages to stutter out after a silence that barely rivals becoming awkward. “Haha, yup, sounds good.”
Fushiguro smiles at him, just a little quirk on the corner of his mouth that reveals the faintest hint of a dimple. It’s rare to see him grin full-on but there’s a certain glint to his eyes right now that drives Yuuji the smallest bit more crazy all the same.
“See you later, Itadori.” And with that, Fushiguro turns around and leaves him alone in the middle of the dorm hallway. Yuuji doesn’t move, or it’s more like he can’t move with the sudden spike of unnecessary adrenaline pumping through his veins.
It’s not a big deal, he tries to rationalize. It’s just Fushiguro.
But then again, his mind chimes back ever helpful, it’s just Fushiguro .
Shit.
Yuuji isn’t sure how long he stays there, frozen like an idiot staring at the empty spot where Fushiguro had been, considering the early-setting sun had already retired for the day before that trainwreck of an encounter occurred. Look at those grooves. Have the floor’s wooden panels always been so intricate?
Nobara is the one to finally break him out of his stupor. At the other end of the hall, she bids a loud goodbye to Maki, who had joined her on today’s shopping trip, and begins trudging over, humming along to a bouncy melody. She’s adjusting the admittedly impressive grip she has on her multitude of bags when she spots him.
“Oi, dumbass, what are you doing?” She calls as she makes her way to her room, only pausing to sidestep him and wave a newly manicured hand in front of his face.
Yuuji startles back into his body. “Huh?”
He watches as Nobara yanks her door open—how the hell she does it with both hands full , he’ll always be amazed—and gracefully drops off all of her shopping bags. She then pivots on her heel quicker than a whip and raises a perfectly arched brow at him.
“What is this?” She asks, gesturing to his mouth, which amidst his internal crisis has gone slack with a small dribble of spit pooling in the corner. “ Ew , gross.”
“Ah, sorry,” Yuuji wipes at his lips with the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Got, uh, lost in thought there for a bit.”
Nobara’s gaze fills with something akin to mirth and a smirk crawls onto her face. She makes herself comfortable against the wall, attempting to be nonchalant but her fingers are drumming along on her arm and that destroys any pretense. “Yeah, I can see that,” she drawls. “So what’s up?”
Yuuji debates for a moment. He could tell her. It would be so easy to spill his guts on the disaster he’s just stumbled into. Nobara would likely give him great advice too, she’s always groaning about how hopeless he is when it comes to “meaningful normal social interaction”. He personally thinks he does just fine but apparently, he’s too blunt and oblivious or whatever that means. In all honesty, she’d probably help him figure out the awful mess in his head that has Fushiguro’s name scrawled all over it in 10 minutes tops.
But with how she’s looking at him now, the annoying way her eyes narrow slightly when she knows something and is waiting for the other person to trip up, it makes Yuuji hesitate. He doesn’t want to make more of a fool of himself today than he already has and that damn face is doing a splendid job of not reassuring him a whole lot.
Eventually, he decides to push her a bit first. “Hm, what do you mean?”
Wrong move. Somehow, Nobara finds exactly what she’s searching for in those four words alone and the pure glee that infects her makes Yuuji’s gut twist. She immediately straightens and glows like Principal Yaga just declared their weekly allowance is going to be increased to five million yen, which is to say, she becomes the fucking sun.
“No way , did you finally do it?” She whispers, locking his shoulders in a vice grip between her hands and woah , no wonder she can hold so many bags at once.
“What?” Yuuji squeaks, throwing out a desperate arm to grab at the wall and the other to wrap around Nobara’s middle in an attempt to steady them. He digs his heels into the floor for good measure when they start to tip, preventing them from almost toppling to the ground in a chaotic heap.
“Hah, you did ! You so did! Oh, you’re so red right now, this is gold !” She quietly cackles, smacking at his chest and wiping away a fake tear. “I can’t wait to tell Inumaki, he’s gonna owe me so much mo—”
One of Nobara’s nails is pinching his skin but he doesn’t mind it that much compared to the armful of maniac he has to keep upright. “Finally do what ?” He says after they’ve regained their footing in a precarious balance. “Kugisaki, what the hell are you talking about?”
He gets an incredulous look for that, as though he’s the one who started acting like a madman out of nowhere. “Don’t play dumb with me, Itadori. You finally asked him out.”
Yuuji’s whole body flares bright red at the certainty in her voice. “What, I didn’t ask him out , I mean, I think I tried? That’s where it was heading but I got tongue-tied somewhere and—”
Wait.
“Hold on ,” he practically yells once her words sink in. Nobara winces and flicks his forehead in return. “Ow, hold on, how did you know? About Fushi, or— fuck , no wait, you didn’t even say his name—”
“Dude,” She interrupts, rapping her knuckles gently against the side of his head, as though checking if anyone’s home. “Calm down for a second, would you? Breathe a bit.”
Which is rich coming from her, but Yuuji takes a few deep breaths regardless. There’s a suffocating pounding in his chest that he hasn’t even noticed until now making his lungs strain with every inhale, but it diminishes back to its normal beat once he slowly forces the air in. Nobara also eases up on her assaults, most of the thrumming energy from earlier melting into something calmer and more contained.
“Good?” She says with a small downward tilt of her chin. It’s a confirmation, their way of showing that they’re reeling it in and ready to get down to business.
With a final relaxed huff, Yuuji does the same. “Good.”
“Okay, so,” Nobara clasps her hands together. “You asked Fushiguro out but… you didn’t really?”
He shuts his eyes and fights down a groan. Where does he even begin? “I don’t know what came over me today. I just, I was coming back from sparring with Panda-senpai earlier and Fushi was leaving his room. We said hi and all that, you know, completely normal, but then he asked me if I was alright because I haven’t visited him recently like I usually do after dinner.”
Nobara’s jaw drops open at that but before she can interject anything, Yuuji continues at a mile per minute.
“And I didn’t think that he would even notice I’m avoiding him a little because I’ve been trying to get a hold of myself but, god , Kugisaki. He did. He noticed and he was pouting a bit and I am not equipped to handle that kind of pressure! I didn’t want him to worry but I also can’t tell him that because that’s even worse. I’m supposedly terrible but come on , even I know I can’t just go ‘Sorry I’ve been keeping my distance and not hanging out with you as much, I’m just scared you’re going to realize how much I like staring at your face.’ Like, you can’t tell me I don’t sound weird no matter how I try to put that!”
They both stare at each other as Yuuji catches his breath again. He can see Nobara’s teeth chew on the inside of her lip as she processes and analyzes his mini-rant.
“But you do end up saying something to him, right?” She asks at last, soothing and free of judgement. Thank the heavens for her small mercies. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have zoned out, standing here for however long you were.”
Yuuji gives her a pitiful nod in response. “I told him that since the weather’s getting warm again, I was wandering around more. Change of scenery and all.”
Nobara hums. “So then what?”
“Then he asked if he could join me sometime and I panicked because, because I wasn’t actually wandering around. I was hiding in my room, shoving my head into my pillow trying to stop thinking of him.”
And it might seem unbelievable, that for the past two weeks, Yuuji has been bailing on Fushiguro every day only to scream and daydream about the guy. But it’s the cold, hard truth and Yuuji is absolutely mortified that his mental state has been reduced to this. Does he want to see Fushiguro? Yes, of course, he does, but when his knees feel weak every time they make eye contact for longer than ten seconds, can you really blame him? The additional proximity is doing him so much more harm than good.
“Pause,” Nobara cuts in, raising a hand. “You tell him you’re going on walks after dinner instead of hanging out with him and the first thing he does is ask if he can join you?” Her eyes bore into his and he shrinks under its weight. “Isn’t that like—oh, I don’t know—hinting at something on his part?”
And, what.
“Hinting at something?!” Yuuji almost shrieks, his voice echoing a little in the hallway. If evaporating had been physically possible, he would’ve turned into vapour right then and there. Shit, if Fushiguro suspects something is up after the confrontation about something being up, then there’s nothing he can do to redeem himself. “You think he knows I’m lying? Or do you mean he knows about the other thing?”
Which isn’t better at all. Or maybe it is. Lying to him or dealing with soul-crushing embarrassment? Man, fuck it to all hell —
“Itadori, can you just shut up for a second?” Nobara glares at him over her fingers, which now irritatedly pinch at the bridge of her nose. All her previous gentleness vaporizes like the steam Yuuji wishes he could become. “Jesus Christ, dude, I’m trying to help you out. And stop that—” she flicks his forehead again, “—I can literally see your brain jumping to conclusions from here, which is rare enough for you so I’m doing my best.”
She sighs heavily into her palm, taking a moment to recompose herself. “Let’s look at this logically, alright?”
And as promising as that sounds, he’s still not done. The adrenaline has come back swinging and it eats away at his mind, the tips of his fingers, his stomach. Why is he so nervous about this? Nobara’s right, nothing has affected him to this degree before and it’s understandably concerning from her point of view. But the possibility that he just potentially screwed up the best thing he had going with his best friend, who’s also one of—if not the prettiest person he’s ever seen is so damn terrifying, he feels more and more nauseous the longer he has to talk about it.
Nobara, bless her, is patiently waiting for an answer. Yuuji’s fingers fidget until they find the hem of his shirt, longing to give the extra energy an outlet that isn’t spewing more thought vomit. With yet another deep breath, he finally mumbles out, “That’s not everything though.”
“Okay,” Nobara says, kindly. She talks slower, gracing him with more time to get the jitters out of his system. “What else happened?”
Yuuji clears his throat. The fizzing in his veins begins to halt too. “Well, I know he prefers to lounge around in his room at night, so I didn’t want to drag him out when he’s tired and comfy. And, uh, I wasn’t even going out, so taking up that offer would be stupid.”
“He’d do it though,” Nobara mutters, low enough that Yuuji thinks it’s more to herself. He chooses to ignore it.
“But yeah, he just, I don’t know. I shot that idea down but he was pouting again and I hated it so I just said that…” He glances at Nobara. “Don’t laugh.”
She scoffs at that and Yuuji kind of wants to shove her. Nonetheless, she throws her hands up in surrender, an unspoken shaky promise.
“Okay, I said that my room was actually a change of scenery enough and he should come over instead so we could enjoy it together.”
To her credit, she lasts more than seven seconds, even though she has to bite down hard on her tongue.
“Sorry— what ?!” Nobara chokes out between wheezes, clutching at the wall to keep her upright. And, okay, Yuuji doesn’t think it’s that funny. “You, Itadori, oh my god, have I told you that you’re a social disaster sometimes?”
“Multiple times,” he sighs and sinks further into himself. Nobara’s laugh transforms into something straight out of a horror movie.
“Did you even hear the innuendo in that? Because I’m almost positive Fushiguro did.”
Yuuji has to punch down the urge to yell again. At this point, maybe he should run into his room and grab his pillow. “I didn’t mean it like that though! Besides we’re always in his room so being in mine is a valid change in setting that’s worth pointing out!”
“Oh, I know, I’m just teasing,” Nobara giggles and it’s not cute. She sounds like she’s about to rob a child of their candy and lord it over their head. “He would’ve probably passed out if you did anything like that intentionally.”
Ugh, isn’t Nobara supposed to be helping him sort his thoughts? Not ignite a million other questions that he has to push aside to sift through later. Terrible conversations back-to-back today, he must be on a roll.
“Well, I didn’t and he’s fine and perfectly awake, last I heard.” Yuuji’s sulking now but it’s well-earned, thank you very much. “But Fushi’s coming over in like—” He pops his head into Nobara’s room to check the alarm clock on her nightstand. “—shit, an hour ?” When on earth did the clock jump ahead so far?
Nobara merely shrugs. She’s watching him with that annoying narrowed gaze again but Yuuji doesn’t feel as queasy anymore. “Listen, I think you’re going to be just fine. As much of a fever dream as this whole thing sounds, literally nothing is different here.”
His mouth flies open to protest but she quickly holds up a finger. “Nuh-uh, you guys are hanging out together doing whatever it is you were doing before. Your rooms are similar too, so don’t let your brain harp on the fact that you’re somewhere else. We’ve all hung out in each others’ rooms. This doesn’t have to be some weird, awkward first date scenario where you reboot and act like strangers.”
“But what if,” Yuuji tugs at his fingers. The buzzing has returned in short, weak bursts.
He’s at a loss for words. She’s right, Fushiguro and him have been doing this for much longer than they haven’t. It’s something he used to look forward to because they end up having fun even when they don’t talk, simply happy to kill time in each other’s company.
But the dying question of the day; will he be able to handle it now that he’s reached the liberating and frightful revelation that he wants to kiss his best friend?
Yuuji swallows around nothing. “What if…”
There are moments when it’s evidently clear that Nobara is one of his best friends, someone who knows what he wants to say before he’s even mustered up the courage to consolidate the thought.
“You want my real advice?” She challenges, like the entire point of Yuuji having a mental breakdown earlier hasn’t been exactly for that. He gives her a weak nod.
Nobara does a final once-over of him, scrutinizing whether or not he’s actually ready for it.
Of all things, Fushiguro’s smile from earlier floats back into his mind. The gentle way it creases the otherwise soft smooth of his cheek. The subtle spark that dances with the contentment in his eyes. Yuuji will see it again in person soon and as much as it terrifies him, he realizes it makes him a little giddy too.
“Just tell him.”
Well. If that isn’t much easier said than done.