Work Text:
On some sunny day in heaven, God gets bored of making people up and decides to download grindr. He starts sexting with an omega and they plan to meet up. However, the onega really wants to use protection. The onega actually is obsessed with condoms. Although he prefers it raw and natural, God agrees reluctantly.
They neet up at a bar in Los Angelor, and God sits down in a stool to wait for his omega patiently. Suddently, he hears thundering... footsteps? the onega sits doen beside god, but when god looks to the omega... he finds its a box of condoms, not a juicy little onega n god, in shock, punches the box. its opening is bashed open, and condoms spill out. god feels..warmth...? in hiss erection at thsi. the world slows and zooms to be nothing but god and the condoms spilling out oif the box./
god reaches out to touch one, and he swears he feel;s electricity fizzling tjhrough his finger. is thuis....true love? he careuflly collectys tyhe condoms and puts them back into the bopx, feeling huimself harden a 100t.
he thinks hes in lovce. he runs home to heavenn and puts the box in his ebdroon. he talks to it (and he swears it talks back) about anything and everything. yeah, this is nice3. gods alasys been so lobely..., just needing an omega to fill the hole in his life and so he can fill a hole.
and so, rhe kmega box of condoms opens itself uo gor god. "baptize me daddy!" god pretends that the box of confoms says that and it turns hin on even more. "i'll make your omega hole repent for giving me such a bone.." the box of condons moans and the cardboard is soon ripped to shreds from god'd giant heavenly cock.
to spice things up, god begins to rip open pscks of condoms and shives then onto his dick, moaning at the sensation. the cindons had different flavors: some were pruple, some spicy, some juiced up with different gluids. one was already used by jesus, which turned god on even more. those confoms were soon shown god and converted. rhey began to eorship his throbbing cock
god loomked at the copn doms, and tried shoving one inside his dickholer, anbd *ah*. thast was...new. it felt..good..? god stumbled backwards, fucking himself with the condom. he whimpered soflt,y before freezsing.
why was he...acting so submissivbe..?!?!?!/ why was he acting like a dumb omega in heat begging to be rbed when hes supposed to be an alpha??@?!? THE ORIGINIAL ALPHGA??? the BEST ALPHA!??!?!?!?!
he acnt help it though,,,, it fceels so good. imagining jesus fucking him, telling him what a good onega he wasa...he couldnrt hepp but find the thought inncredibyl attaricve. he wondered if his son would find it that too......\
he shovea a condom nto his arsehole, suddenly beconign briutish, and moaned. it hit his omega prostate (real alphas dont have them) and he then knew he wasn an omega, thorugh ang thorugh. fuck
"this dan'g be... in the otiginal alphat i'n the sigmat i cant be an omega.. no!!!" but the confon box smirked and whipped out an alpha cock from the plastic. god then knew that christianity must be destroyed, for the condons were the real savior.
"all christians listen upt christianity no longer exists.. from now on you will all follow condomisn!" the christians all agreed and each simultaneously pulled out a box of condoms and began gooning together in sync. god himself spread his cheeks and let the condons begin to thrust in and out of hin.
"let ne save you... im god now..." the confon box god smirked doen at not-god and bred hin instabtly.