Chapter Text
How are your choices so questionable?
Your dating history is just deplorable.
First was a serial killer,
but you didn't stop there.
Then the next one, also a serial killer.
You'd think you'd learn to be more aware.
Then came the asshole
who not only treated you like shit
but who also cheated on you.
I just wonder the depths of what he could transmit.
Following close behind was
a rebound, a light bit of fun.
Who proceeded to cheat on you too
with your asshole ex, and off they run.
I have to admit the next
partner was out of your comfort zone.
But I'm still annoyed that you
brought a corpse-easting mantis home.
Following behind was a superhero
but they were really only committed to their mission.
Maybe best to not date Caped-Crusaders
when we're both villains!
You kept with the 'good guys' for a bit
choosing to date a detective.
But they were clearly in love with their partner,
your wiles seemingly ineffective.
And lastly, that one guy who was normal,
honestly better than the others before.
But I never really liked them.
They lacked a personality, what a bore.
Darling, I get that there
are plenty of fish in the sea.
But none of the ones you catch
seem to be of quality.
So take a chance now,
let me show you how it's done.
And maybe, just maybe,
you'll start to feel loved.
Because you do deserve
only the best of the best.
And I will make your happiness
my one and only quest.
What I'm saying is, go out with me.
Let me show you something new.
And you might just figure out
why I'm so helplessly in love with you.