Work Text:
One day Kanaya Maryam was walkings too the store when she run into Gamzee Strider who was maried to Davt stridr which was like tumblr, but for daves. And then she was like GAMZEE STIDR UO ARE TH WORSE PERSON I MUST CHAIN YOU TO SAWHA BUILD A GARAGE and then Gamze mcucuuhoostrider said I WAS KNOW SHHHHH and then he walked walked to the store again.
And then Kanayayaya was like NOT IF I FIRST and she run in hi heels but she had secret training prostitute from the kgb in Scandinavia therefore I locamote with fastly.
‘ahe! She whispered. M aybe now ou
And then she I went to the store at the speed of a gazelle wearing cement. But’s okay because gamzee could only locamote like pateint who had fire in legs who needed wehhel chair who was currently in chains because had been impounded for alcoholic DUI.
Kanaya outspeeded him almost as if she was mexica trying to escahpey into amurica for bettur lyf. Opened her eyes and despided she wanted to get contacts so she went to the opmtimagician and said HELLO hello my name is kanaya mayrun and whoi may you bee?
And guy was like MY NAME IS MATUNA sampora and this us may kawaii lover kronus. Welcum to hakuma matata eye emporium. Welcome to free contacts are on special buy glasses from complacency of the lerarned which was big book in ass time period after divorce with vriska she decicded to make money and lots of money happened in business. She adopted chick from Africa roxy and they made babies and fortunes selling people to morgages.
Kanye then was like wwoww I vow life story alert do not car and then matuna sai to face uncle wow I fall down now and then latula was like FUCKY OUR DEAD CORPSE and they had hot sleep sexy and she broke up with him because she was not lesbian and she discovered she was actually Katherine bates and went on big film tour and made lots of emmys
Kanaye still felt liek that the x position was too much and decided she had to leave to karkats and exposition x posison power plant. Karkat was like wowowowooww why you doing here and then kanyeah went to space station and was lie I am sylph of space there4 you has to litsen to my words and therefar I am calling off this x posision in vention and then all the gnome workers were sad because they only had job and lived paycheck to paycheck to feed six kids each. They threw thimselves into space and died from decomposition.
Soddunly dambara magico popped into and said I FABLHBALHBA IBUY ME MORE JEWELERY and then kanaya’s kanaya said wow this is redicilus day an went home and had bed makout with kankri vatastic and had buckest (an: lol) and it was good until sunrise when kankri went blind from sun and kanaya saved him from closing blinds and he was so grateful that sux happened. The aunt.
