Work Text:
Based on A Turnabout in the Lighthouse of Lunacy: aaonline,fr/forum/viewtopic,php?p=782770
John Phoenix was on his way to the office one morning when he saw the door was open
He peeked inside
There was a black-haired woman with a green turtleneck inside. John Phoenix read her mind to learn her name
"Aurelia Chase what are you doing in my office!" John Phoenix demanded.
"I was looking for evidence on a gang of criminals, the JP Corporation, the John Phoenix Corporation," said Aurelia
"Objection" John Phoenix presented the newspaper "JP stands for Justice and Purity! John Phoenix is not a corporation John Phoenix is a communist!"
John Phoenix was found not guilty
"Guess I was wrong, sorry bout that," said Aurelia
"You are forgiven," said Jesus Phoenix. "But now I'm curious to catch the assassins smearing mud on my good initials. Where can we find them?"
Lilian appeared
"Let's look for them at the Lighthouse of Lunacy!"
So they went there
Outside the tower Ander Cova was there selling cakes
"Yay cake!" said Aurelia and she bought some
John Phoenix noted that Aurelia liked cake. But he also noted that the cake was familiar.
John Phoenix went to the nearby bakery. The same cake was being sold there!
John Phoenix confronted Cova
"Cova how'd you bake these cakes?"
"Secret recipe," said Cova
A red question mark appeared
"You're lying," said John Phoenix. "You bought them from the bakery."
"You got me sir," said Cova
He was the Martin Summer of baking cakes
Then there was a gunshot in the Lighthouse of Lunacy!
John Phoenix and the others ran in
The gunshot came from the display room, the forbidden room, no guests allowed
Luis dead
Mono arrested
Neland mad!
"MONO HOW DARE YOU ENTER THAT ROOM" Neland yelled
"I can explain sir I uh I uh I uh" Mono passed out
John Phoenix would defend him because John Phoenix defends everyone, even the unconscious
John Phoenix investigated
There were crumbs on the floor next to Luis's body
John Phoenix went to Aurelia, she was talking to Lilian
Lilian said "hey Aurelia let's have sex" but John Phoenix interrupted them
"Aurelia I think the evidence is in your stomach" said John Phoenix.
"Sorry John Phoenix," Aurelia confessed. "I saw a cake next to Luis and was like "oooooh cake" because I like cake so I ate it."
"THIS MEANS THERE WAS A CAKE AT THE CRIME SCENE!" said John Phoenix "THE CULPRIT MUST HAVE LEFT IT BEHIND!"
"Confucius says the culprit is Aurelia" said Victoria "Because Aurelia bought Cova's cake"
"Aurelia has an alibi, me for an alibi, I was there" said John Phoenix. "The only other person selling cakes in this town is the baker!"
"You will pay for this John Phoenix!" the baker got arrested
Then Aurelia and Lilian made out in front of all the rich people and John Phoenix smiled approvingly