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Whenever she took exams, Shinobu preferred absolute silence.
Of course, this would usually be a given in any serious exam, such as this one. Nobody in their right mind would be speaking loud enough for others to hear, much less understand.
So this shouldn't be giving her any trouble, right? Her classmates were silent, lost in their own thoughts, more than likely scrambling to remember what they had studied.
Alas, her life wasn't so simple.
“You studied this topic, come on.”
It took all of her willpower not to groan, and her frustration came through as she ran a hand down her face. Yes, she did study this topic last night. Yes, she had the answer on the tip of her tongue.
Why did he have to be so annoying?
“I know, now silence,” she murmured, keeping her voice low. She didn't have to speak loudly at all for him to hear her. Sometimes it was a curse, other times it was an advantage.
Like now, for example. Otherwise, her classmates would think she was nuts.
“My, you could be a little nicer. I'm here as your guardian helping you out and you thank me by shushing me? Tsk tsk, Shinobu,” he replied, and if she could, she was sure she'd see him playfully shaking his head in disapproval.
“Shh,” she repeated simply, going back to her exam. “Heizou, please. I really need to focus.”
“Fine, fine. I won't answer if you ask for help, though,” Heizou said right back and didn't add anything more. Finally, sweet peace and quiet. Shinobu took a deep breath and was finally able to put her full attention on the paper in front of her.
Through her peripheral, she could see some of her classmates fidgeting with their pens or tapping anxiously on the table. Some were even rubbing their temples, as if that would somehow make their brains remember whatever they'd read five minutes before the exam.
Sucks for them.
Shinobu decided to try and break down the questions by identifying the keywords. Clearly, reading them whole wasn't helping.
She was studying law. Why did she need to know the history of Inazuma in this much detail? So many dates, so many long names that were hard to remember… It felt like trying to find a needle in a haystack, running out of time while sifting through memories upon memories of other facts she didn't need for this particular question.
Eventually, no matter how much she struggled, she was able to remember the political consequences of Watatsumi Island becoming official Inazuman territory all those centuries ago. That allowed her words to flow during the rest of the exam, and she didn't have time to be grateful that Heizou hadn't uttered a single word.
Being between the first five to finish wasn't a bad feat, at all. Shinobu exited the class with a sigh of relief. That was one exam down, six more to go.
“You didn't find the exam difficult, did you?” Heizou asked suddenly, breaking Shinobu out of her trance.
“It was fine.”
“But was it difficult?”
“Ugh.”
“Was it very difficult?”
“Uuugh...”
“Was it extremely–”
“Can you, kindly, shut the f–”
“Language, Shinobu.”
She groaned once more with a roll of her eyes, wishing more than ever that she could see where he was just so she could slap a hand over his mouth and keep him silent.
Then again, she didn't know if he had a mouth in the first place. And if he did, maybe her hand would be too small to cover it. She didn't think too often about her lack of knowledge regarding his appearance, but when she did, she couldn't help but feel unnerved.
He sounded human enough, but he clearly was far from that. Otherwise, he wouldn't be invisible and other people would most certainly be able to hear him.
Shinobu had asked him once—what he looked like, since he couldn't show her.
“Explaining it is... hard.”
That had been his plain and simple answer, and when she tried to push the topic further, he quickly dismissed it and changed it to something else.
Maybe it was some philosophical mumbo jumbo, something about him being beyond mortal comprehension and not having a physical form she could even begin to understand.
She found some comfort in thinking that he didn't have a corporeal form, and instead was a blob of invisible energy that followed her around.
Somehow this blob of energy also had a very pleasant voice that accompanied annoying comments and frustratingly charming chuckles.
“Mora for your thoughts?” he spoke after they'd both been silent for a couple of minutes. Shinobu made sure none of the other passersby were within earshot before she replied.
“You don't have a single Mora.”
“Perhaps I don't, but I still want you to share what you have on your mind,” Heizou countered right back at her.
“Nothing much. Just going over some things for tomorrow's exam,” she replied, and since he didn't immediately call her out, it meant he'd bought her lie. Shinobu really didn't want to tell him that she'd been thinking about what he may or may not look like. She didn't want Heizou to know that he occupied her mind more often than she'd like to admit.
“Right. In that case, I won't distract you.”
Ironic for him to be the one saying that unprompted.
Her finals week was hell itself.
Not only because of the exams, which were all considerably difficult and demanding despite her studying, but every single thing Heizou said somehow managed to get on her nerves.
His comments, the ones that used to be either easy to ignore, amusing, witty, or helpful, quickly became a nuisance. Heizou had a need to talk to her—he'd told her himself—since he could and she was the only person that could hear him. Shinobu understood that perfectly and she had come to enjoy his company, but archons above, sometimes it felt like he was never quiet.
There was always something for him to say, something to whisper in her ear, no matter what it was. She'd begun to feel like she couldn't be alone, as if her moments of privacy didn't exist anymore. It wasn't like he didn't let her study—he did! But his presence, or the knowledge of it, was stifling. Even when he wasn't saying anything, he was watching her, and she knew it. Shinobu could almost feel the intensity of an invisible gaze on every movement she made.
The worst thing was that her week wasn't over.
There was a party tonight, and Itto and the others were determined to go and have some fun.
If she didn't want them to cause problems for themselves or others, then she had to go. That entailed being in a room with loud music pounding in her ears and the overwhelming sensation of so many people in one place together. If she reached the point of trying to find a corner to breathe for a moment–
“What a wonderful way to finish the week. It didn't look like you struggled so much on that last one.”
... Heizou would still be there. He was always there, and the fact made her want to scream.
“I'd like to see you handle seven exams like those in a week,” she grumbled and much to her chagrin, Heizou didn't take it as the kind of comment it was.
“Maybe I could. Somebody out there has to be capable of handling those exams, no? Who's to say it wouldn't be me if I were human?”
“It wasn't a question.”
“Sure,” he said, and that easily dismissed her remark in order to change the subject; unfortunately, to something she didn't wish to discuss either, “are you going to the party tonight?”
“Yes, I am,” she replied, putting obvious emphasis on the individual subject of that sentence. Of course, Heizou was deaf to those cues and promptly ignored them.
“Oh, cool. I thought you were going to change your mind about that,” he commented and she could hear how annoyingly excited he was about the whole thing. She would be too, were she in his place—invisible and intangible to everyone around her, with only one goal, which was to look after a single person. She wouldn't have any obligation to talk to anyone.
Actually, Shinobu had some semblance of certainty that she'd do a better job at being a guardian than Heizou, who messed with her on the daily.
“It'll be nice seeing Itto again. He's a good guy.”
“Right, because you'll be seeing him,” she snapped right back at him, her frustration taking hold of the words coming out of her mouth, not that she was doing anything to stop them. “You won't be talking to him, or making sure he isn't breaking things, or isn't getting into squabbles with random people because he lost a game.”
“That's because I can't. If I were human–”
“But you aren't,” she interrupted, her anger and stress way past boiling point, “you're not human. You're far from it. You're just some– some– some thing living through me and all you do is annoy me. You correct me and tell me what to do like you're on a higher moral level than me, but it's my life. My choices. Mine. And it doesn't feel like it when you're constantly around me.”
Shinobu took a deep breath once she was done, only then realizing she had stopped walking to rant. She despised not being able to see Heizou, who had stayed silent, because it just made the interaction feel so... inhuman.
“I can't be alone,” she continued, her volume having lowered, but the intensity and impotence behind her voice stayed. “I can't have a moment to myself without knowing you're there. It's exhausting.”
Heizou didn't say a word yet, and while it only frustrated her more, she made an effort to not keep going. After a couple of seconds, in which she considered insisting for him to say something, anything, he finally spoke up. The suddenness of it made her flinch.
“Do you mean that?” he asked, all snark gone from his voice. His tone was neutral and extremely hard to get a read on; it only made her wish she could see his face, human-looking or not, and try to gauge a reaction from it.
“Yes,” she murmured after a second, because she did mean what she said, even if she'd been a little harsh in retrospect. Her pride didn't allow her to rephrase her feelings, however. Sometimes, the truth, no matter how raw, was needed.
“I can't really leave forever, because you're my charge,” Heizou began, which didn't surprise her; Shinobu knew this already, “but I could... stay away, temporarily. Just for tonight.”
What?
“What?” she asked, straightening up as her eyes went wide. He could actually leave her side in the first place, no matter how temporarily? He'd never alluded to this before. “Do you mean, actually leave, and not just stay silent?”
Her being intrigued came out like she was excited about him not being there; Shinobu didn't ponder too much on how she came off.
“Yeah,” Heizou confirmed. It wasn't hard to believe, since he had never lied to her before… as far as she was aware. “But only for tonight. I have to be back by morning max.”
She was tempted to ask where he'd go, and what he would be doing, but ended up biting her tongue. It wasn't her business, and it wasn't important anyway. What mattered was that she'd have a night to herself, and it would be a night she would relish, especially once she was home after the party.
Silence could be the greatest of symphonies sometimes, a respite for the senses and the mind.
“So, when will you be leaving?” she asked as she picked up her walking pace so she'd make it to her apartment quicker.
“So eager to see me leave? You wound me, Shinobu.”
Same words as always, but the tone was ever so slightly off. Was he trying to guilt-trip her? Because it wasn't working, and if the small change in demeanor gave her pause, it was only due to it being unusual. Yes. That was all.
“That doesn't answer the question.”
“In an hour or two.”
That meant he was leaving sooner than she expected.
…
Good.
Heizou announced his departure while she was fixing her hair. It was casual, abrupt—the sound of his voice almost made her jump. He'd been strangely silent during those two hours, but Shinobu didn't find it in herself to ask why.
Somehow, despite not being able to see him, she felt the difference a second after his last words to her. It was akin to the feeling of a routine being broken by the tiniest of changes, and it made her feel strange.
Like something was missing somewhere else other than in her room. Somewhere deeper, more private.
Shinobu shook her head, perishing the thought. She'd gotten too accustomed to Heizou, to the point where she'd conditioned herself to think his company was normal.
She'd gone most of her time alive completely unaware of his existence, until one random day he revealed himself to her. The fact that he wasn't supposed to do that in the first place was proof enough that she should be able to exist one night without constantly expecting one of his comments.
It was easier to focus.
Too easy.
That wasn't a bad thing, was it?
The music pounded in her ears, making her entire rib cage vibrate along to the rhythm in a sensation she'd felt many times before, but would never get used to.
“It's great that you managed to make it, Shinobu!” Itto yelled at her, waving his cup around, the liquor inside sloshing and spilling.
“Who else was gonna look after you lot?” she replied, rolling her eyes. Itto laughed loudly, patting her back, well aware that although the words were stern, the intention behind them remained genuine.
“You gotta have some fun too! Didn't your exams go well? That's a reason to celebrate if I've ever heard one! Come on, let's go to the bar and order you something to drink.”
Shinobu would've usually declined, but she figured she might as well. It was a good reason to have a drink or two, no more than that.
“I'll look after ya, no worries,” Itto added for good measure, bumping his fist-bump with Genta on the way.
Itto did not, in fact, look after her.
No, scratch that.
He tried, and he tried his hardest. He even insisted he should walk her back to her apartment, despite being completely unable to stand on his own.
It was well past midnight, the party was still ongoing in the locale they'd left, but Shinobu had made sure the gang made it safely to Itto's house (his grandma's, not that he wanted anyone to know).
“I'll be fine. It's close and the streets are too empty for anyone to try anything at this hour,” she said dismissively, causing Itto to pout. He was so stubborn, but she appreciated the concern.
“B-But–” he attempted to protest, but Shinobu made a noise to silence him, and nodded towards the empty room behind him.
“Go to sleep, dumbass. I'll text you when I'm home, alright?”
Itto's pout became contemplative, but it was enough to get him to comply. After a final goodbye, she began her walk back to her own apartment.
The streets were silent and the air was refreshingly cold, which helped with the headache threatening to become worse.
As expected, she didn't really enjoy the party as much as the guys, despite the alcohol running through her system. But the party itself wasn't the problem, no– It was the strange uneasiness that was present all throughout, including now.
And she was both frustrated and relieved that she knew the source, but she didn't dwell on it. No, it didn't matter that she'd said things at the party, for a fleeting second expecting answers that never came. It didn't matter that she wasn't used to feeling this alone anymore.
She didn't let the idea linger for longer than if it were a fleeting thought.
With a sigh, Shinobu slowed her pace to kick a small pebble off her boot, and it was then that she heard another set of footsteps that weren't her own.
Freezing for only a split second, Shinobu continued walking exactly like she was before, trying not to make it clear that she had noticed the presence behind her.
There was no way she was this unlucky, was there?
She glanced behind her swiftly and discreetly, enough to see just who was behind her. She managed to see the silhouette of someone who looked like a male, which only served to worsen her incoming worries.
She tried picking up the pace, but she could clearly hear the man behind her doing the exact same thing. If her first and only glimpse wasn't mistaken, he was significantly taller than her.
Longer legs meant less steps to take and more distance covered.
This was trouble. She was in trouble, and it made her nervous to not know what kind of trouble.
Heizou.
Her mind called out, and then she immediately felt a stab of regret pierce her heart, making it hard to breathe. Shinobu had told him not only to leave her be, but to leave her alone.
He wasn't with her right now, and archons knew where he was.
A part of her, reckless and selfish, wanted to blame him for everything, but she knew that she was at fault in the end. She was the one that insisted he leave instead of simply staying quiet, and Heizou had merely respected her wishes.
I'll be back in the morning, he'd said. At that moment, those words had felt like salvation itself. Now, she wished she hadn't been so prideful.
Shinobu didn't have many options but to keep walking, her mind coming up with possible outcomes and solutions. She didn't think entering her house was a good idea, or whoever this guy was would know where she lived.
Then again, she couldn't keep walking forever. He'd catch up eventually, and if it came down to it, while she could hold her own, she wasn't an expert. His build was enough to overpower her.
His footsteps were louder now.
What do I do?
It wasn't as if Heizou would be able to do anything himself, anyway, but gods above, just hearing his voice would be enough to help her stay level-headed. He'd probably help any way he could without interfering directly, something he never seemed to do.
She looked around, her movements too frantic, too panicked, but she held onto the hope that the man didn't notice the desperation beginning to creep into her movements and posture. There were no open places nearby, and although there were a couple of alleys here and there, she knew most of them led to dead ends; not helpful at all–
Shit.
She could hear him getting closer.
There wasn't much she could do but run; she could gamble on having more stamina than him, despite being tired due to the party, and then maybe she'd have a higher chance on besting him in a fight if it came to it–
As she took a turn, ready to enact her plan, she suddenly felt a hand snake around her waist.
Shinobu almost screamed bloody murder and was ready to make whoever it was kiss the concrete until the person in question spoke.
“Shhh. It's just me.”
No way.
No fucking way.
Her head snapped to meet the face of this non-stranger. She was immediately met with green eyes, greener than she'd ever seen, and maroon hair tied into a low ponytail.
“I've got you.”
That voice. She could recognize that voice anywhere.
“Hei–” she tried. Part of her, shocked beyond comprehension, was making her stop walking, but the firm and strong hold around her waist made her keep walking, the motion automatic. She felt like she was floating, inside some skewed fantasy.
“Heizou…?” she asked in a whisper, unable to believe her ears, because her ears were the ones telling her that this was Heizou. That voice couldn't belong to just anyone.
“Mhm,” he confirmed with a small smile. It made her notice he had two moles, under each eye. He looked so real, he was so tangible, only making her brain reel and search for any explanation it could find. What was going on?
“Sorry for breaking our deal,” he added, glancing behind him. She shook her head, her mouth agape without any words managing to come out; there was a lump in her throat keeping her confusion from manifesting into an overflow of questions.
“That's–”
That's not fucking important!
“How–”
How are you like this?!
“I'll answer questions later,” he said, bringing her closer to him once his head turned back to the road in front of them. Her thoughts were too messed up to question the proximity or the comfort it brought her.
“Let's lose this guy first.”
Although curiosity was eating away at her, rendering her speechless, she couldn't argue against that.
Everything that happened afterwards was somewhat of a blur. Heizou led her along the streets, making turn after turn and following a pattern that she wouldn't have been able to come up with herself with how panicked she'd been.
The day– No, the week had been a lot on her. Finals, the party, her argument with Heizou, Heizou himself, the creepy ass man, and all the feelings and emotions that inevitably came with all of those things.
Shinobu was still processing everything that had happened, her mind running with no direction in particular. It was just… running, thoughts coming and going, as if that would help her grasp the situation before her.
“Shinobu?”
“Huh?” she looked at Heizou, who had let go of her waist. Archons above, she was genuinely looking at him. He was there, perceptible and physical and with a patient smile upon his lips. It turned into an amused one—she was able to see him emote—before he nodded to the side. She turned her head.
They were– They were standing in front of the door of her apartment complex.
Right.
The door.
She had to run a hand down her face in order to wake up. Snap out of it! Calm down first, and she could ask him questions. A couple of the thousands written on the list forming in her mind.
She let him in and she closed the door by leaning on it. Only when they made it to her apartment was she able to form coherent sentences, but Heizou beat her to it.
“You're good now, right? I should go back to–”
“No!”
…
That came out more desperate than she wanted it to. Shinobu coughed into her hand to feign indifference, but Heizou was very clearly expecting her to elaborate as to why he shouldn't leave just yet.
“Just… what is happening?” she asked, sitting down on her couch in defeat. Heizou chuckled at her reaction, probably because she didn't bother to hide how perplexed she was. Frankly, she'd rather appear perplexed and confused than clingy.
“I thought you weren't able to show me what you look like,” she clarified, watching him sit down next to her, keeping some distance between them. Watching the cushion dip under his weight was a rather grounding sight.
She never thought she'd find basic physics fascinating.
“I can't. Or, rather, I'm not allowed to.”
She gestured at him, very seeable and very human-looking. Wasn't his appearance supposed to be hard to explain? “What is this, then?”
“What makes you think this is what I truly look like?”
Shinobu blinked at that.
Oh.
She let her hand fall on her lap, and gave it some thought. Heizou had mentioned more than once that his talking to her was technically forbidden, but the way the rules he followed were redacted allowed for some loopholes to be exploited.
Was this something along those lines?
“So… this isn't what you truly look like,” she began to say, “but it's not far from it either. If I had to guess, not far at all.”
“Ding ding ding!” Heizou sang, leaning back against the backrest of the couch with a satisfied smile. Those rules of his had to be flimsy as hell, especially if he could show himself like this, only tweaking his appearance a little, and it was still within safe territory.
A part of her was aware that she hadn't completely processed the entire situation—it was really easy to forget that the guy in front of her was the face to the voice that constantly followed her around.
A voice that was supposed to stay away until morning, but didn't, and she didn't resent him for it whatsoever.
“Why did you come back early? Not that I'm complaining, just… curious.”
“I felt your distress.” Right. Of course. She should've guessed something sooo obvious. “Between honoring a deal or getting yelled at for breaking it after checking on you, I'd go for the latter.”
Shinobu couldn't help couldn't help but look away when he said that, an ugly but no less deserved feeling blooming in her chest, its roots having been there ever since she detected the odd inflection in his voice, way back when he revealed he could leave.
She'd been really inconsiderate—no matter how stressed she was, it was no reason to yell at him like that, much less insult him and dehumanize him.
Heizou, as frustrating as he could be, was good. He was comforting on the rare occasion she needed it, and a voice of reason when her emotions blinded her. Sure, she appreciated her time alone, but she hadn't realized how nice it was to always have someone that'd listen to her thoughts unconditionally, and would comment on them.
No, he really didn't deserve to have been treated that way.
“I'm sorry,” she said finally, rubbing the back of her neck, her fingers touching the rope holding up her hair. She held onto it out of habit. “I was an ass to you. It shouldn't have taken me needing you to realize that.”
“Apology accepted,” he replied, faster than she expected him to, but then again, Shinobu wasn't surprised. Something about Heizou made it obvious he was a forgiving person if the apology was genuine, and hers definitely was. “Yeah, you were… harsh, but your concerns are still valid.”
And, despite being the receiver of the apology, he was nonetheless making sure she knew he understood her point of view. It only made her feel worse.
“Doesn't make it okay that I snapped like that, though, even if I was stressed. It's bad that I insulted you too…” she trailed off, her face very close to contorting into a wince when she remembered what she'd said. Gods, she'd been awful to him.
“I'll try not to talk your ear off anymore,” Heizou said with a bit of a strained smile. Shinobu wondered if her ability to read him so easily came from him not really interacting with people enough to know how to mask his emotions. “I did go over your boundaries a little.”
“No, it's–… it's fine. You always stay silent when I ask you to, which is already a lot.”
There was nothing she could do about being overly self-aware of his presence. Shinobu couldn't just will Heizou to come and go as she pleased, after all. However, she had to admit it used to be much, much worse; she couldn't do anything with a peace of mind the first couple of days after finding out about him. Now, although knowledgeable of Heizou, she was at the very least not tense all the time.
“What about your privacy and personal space?” Heizou asked, guessing what she'd been thinking about.
“I mean, if it comes to it, I can always ask you to stay in another room,” she said with a shrug. It was more of a joke than anything else, but it cracked a wider smile out of Heizou, one that was more genuine, more lax, and nicer to look at.
“Hmm… can't do, sorry. I need to be a responsible guardian and keep an eye on you at all times.” If she didn't know any better, she would've taken his words seriously, but if there was anything she was good at, it was reading Heizou's tone.
Up until tonight, his voice was all she had to go by.
He was definitely joking… partially.
“... Creep,” she accused with an amused huff, trying to punch his shoulder, playing along with whatever this was, but Heizou caught her fist surprisingly quickly. His palm was warm.
“Alright, alright. Not at all times, but most either way,” he clarified. She wasn't letting him off the hook so easily.
“That better not include the bathroom,” she countered with a raised eyebrow, despite already knowing that it didn't.
“Wh– Hey!” Heizou gasped in mock offense and tugged on her hand. It caught her off-guard and made her lose the balance of the odd position she'd been sitting in. She ended up having to put a knee on the empty space of the couch between his legs.
“You always leave me watching a video when you go into the bathroom and quiz me on it once you're done, and have I ever failed any of your quizzes? Hm?”
She didn't think he'd bring that up, but she should've guessed; Heizou was the kind to counter arguments, whether serious or not, with actual evidence and not just empty words.
“Alright, fine,” she acquiesced, rolling her eyes, “but now that I know you can become physical, I'll choose harder videos just so I make sure you're paying full attention to them and not just scrolling down to the comments and making it easier for yourself.”
Shinobu poked his shoulder for emphasis, and Heizou—in his case, for drama—leaned further back against the couch. She kept her finger right where it was, feeling the fabric of his shirt and the warmth that came from the skin under it. For someone who wasn't human, he really did look and feel like one.
“It's not like I can become tangible all willy-nilly, cookie,” Heizou spoke up, making her narrow her eyes at the absurd nickname. She would've called him out on it if the information hadn't been interesting.
“It takes a lot of energy out of me. I would never use that energy just to cheat on a video quiz.”
Now that piqued her curiosity.
“It drains energy?” she asked, deciding to use his shoulder as proper leverage because her leg was getting tired of holding her up.
Why was she–
“Yeah. It takes a lot to become physical in the first place, and gradually drains it. It's why I can't do this whenever I want,” he explained, and she barely registered what he said when she realized the kind of position they were in.
Shinobu hadn't noticed they had moved to the point of her having one of her legs between his, her body looming above him while she held onto his shoulder and he still kept her hand between his fingers.
Yet, for some reason she couldn't—didn't want to—fathom, Shinobu made no attempts to move back. This angle gave her a good view of Heizou's visage, a sight she probably wouldn't see again for a while if this whole thing about his energy was true.
That was it, really. She wanted to commit his face to memory for no reason in particular.
“… And now? How are you doing now?” she asked, wondering if he was feeling tired and totally not avoiding thinking about how they were currently.
“Fine, unlike you,” he indicted, his hand moving so he could press two fingers against her wrist. She hid the gulp the action pulled out of her.
“Your pulse is racing.”
“Oh, don't start–” she said, not a fan of how her words failed her for the nth time tonight, “I bet you're the same–”
When she used the hand on his shoulder to press two fingers against his neck, her eyes widened when she didn't find a pulse. Not even a slow one; no pulse at all, which was downright off-putting.
Shinobu stared at him, waiting for an explanation. Heizou just gave her a victorious smirk, because of course he did; no pulse meant she couldn't confirm whether or not the position was affecting him too. Curse him.
“Not human,” he said simply, as if that explained it all.
(It did.)
“Cheater,” she mumbled, deciding to move her hand away from his neck and sit down properly next to him. Her leg ended up being draped over his, but she was too tired to try and swing it off.
“And the court finds me guilty. What's my sentence, miss attorney?” he asked, the smirk having not left his face. Instead of letting go of her wrist, he went back to holding her hand, intertwining their fingers together. The reason for it remained unexplained, just like her own personal reason for not pulling away.
“You're such a tease,” she said as she pulled their locked arms so they could lean their elbows on the backrest of the couch. Her tone lacked any bite, and for the words she'd just said, her volume was strangely low.
“Not the first time I've heard that from you,” he replied, softer than she was used to hearing him. Then again, he didn't need to speak any louder for her to hear him. They were close enough for the faintest of whispers to reach her ears.
“Maybe,” she said, focusing more on the way he pushed against her hand, which she returned, “but now I can say it to your face. It's different.”
“Is it? Different how?”
Shinobu didn't reply, because she didn't have an answer. All she knew was that this was different; talking to him while being able to look at the way his verdant eyes crinkled, having a face to match the voice that had become such an intricate part of her life that not hearing it put her a strange and uncomfortable weight on her chest.
She had never noticed how close Heizou and her were until she felt the lack of his presence during the entire night. Despite the superficial fun she'd had, there was always this nagging feeling—a thorn in her side that served as a reminder—that she didn't have her guardian by her side.
Yet here he was, a subject of her sight and touch for the first time ever, holding her hand in a way nobody had ever held it before. At least, not in a way that made her feel like her personal space was being wrongfully invaded.
When she felt a warm breath fan over her, she realized she had leaned in closer to Heizou, and he had done the same. Her mind brought her back to the now, and she found herself constantly glancing down at–
His nose touched hers and it led to her tilting her head to the side. Shinobu took a deep breath, allowing his scent of parchment and ink fill her senses, coursing through her veins like a drug.
Her eyes were beginning to close, her head leaning in ever so slightly closer. She parted her lips when she felt something soft, both new and familiar, brush against them–
Ding!
…
Ding!
Ding!
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
“For fuck's sake–” Shinobu cursed, reaching for her phone on the table and staring at the offending notifications. Her cheeks were burning, making her dizzy now that the bubble of a moment had popped. Just who–?!
Itto
(2:47 a.m.): shinobu????
(2:47 a.m.): u home?????????
(2:47 a.m.): r u ok???
(2:47 a.m.): S
(2:47 a.m.): H
(2:47 a.m.): I
(2:47 a.m.): N
(2:48 a.m.): O
STOP (2:48 a.m.)
(2:48 a.m.): B
I'm fine. Got home just fine (2:48 a.m.)
(2:48 a.m.): OH
(2:48 a.m.): OK
(2:48 a.m.): GOOD GOOD :))
Yeah, thx, now go to sleep (2:49 a.m.)
(2:49 a.m.): okkkkk gn
Goodnight (2:49 a.m.)
“It was Itto. He was just checking in, making sure I got home okay,” Shinobu told Heizou after sighing, locking her phone and risking a glance at him.
“Makes sense. He was just worried,” he said with a nod. He was smiling despite it all, but she didn't miss the mumble that came afterwards, once she had looked away, “Great guy, terrible timing…”
“Yeah…” she agreed, whether to the first or second part, or both, she didn't know. Probably both, because goddammit.
The silence that followed was painful; a pin-drop would be heard clearly, even if it happened on the other side of the room. They sat there, with Shinobu occasionally checking her phone and the clock, as if that would somehow make time go backwards to the point they were in before.
She almost kissed him, and what made things worse was that she still wanted to do it.
She didn't have the guts to bring up what they had been about to do, and Heizou was pensive himself, so she made the wise choice to let the moment die.
“I'll go to sleep,” she announced, standing up, ignoring how strained and awkward her voice was. Gods, it was frustrating how it was things related to him that made her words falter like trembling leaves.
“Right, you're probably tired,” he said.
While she wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or mortified that Heizou remained in that physical form of his, a part of her did enjoy having him talk to her about very mundane things while she washed off her make-up and got ready for bed.
(She had him press a pillow to his face and look at the wall while she got changed and he obliged with a chuckle and a remark that rewarded him with folded socks to the head.)
He lied down next to her on the bed once she was done, above the duvet, while she fought off sleep despite being exhausted. She would never admit it, but she was enjoying this interaction more than any she'd had in the past semester. There was something about the way he smiled, the way he chuckled, and the way he looked at her that made her hate how much she enjoyed it.
“Sleeping without the burden of exams must be an amazing feeling,” he commented at one point, a murmur that effortlessly brushed off all and any lingering worries.
“Mm, yeah… it is.”
Come morning, Shinobu knew she wouldn't be able to see him anymore, but Heizou would still be there. He was always there, and it was that fact that helped her finally fall into a peaceful slumber.