Chapter Text
New Conversation
October 30th
[11.04] Unknown number: PARTY! 2NITE @ GRIFFINDOR TOWER. BYOB. 7PM. BE THERE! 🎉🎉🎉
November 8th
[10.01] Unknown number: HELP JAMES GET THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE TO GO OUT WITH HIM. MEET @ PITCH @ 1PM 💖💖
[13.24] Unknown number: PLEASE RETURN ALL ‘I 🧡 LILY EVANS’ SIGNS TO FILCH. HE LOVES THEM. 🤡
November 15th
[16.27] Unknown number: URGENT! Need 1950s style dress + girl in it for a hot 🔥🔥🔥 date with Peter THIS FRIDAY! Look no further ladies ur dream date is waiting! RVSP, first come first served! 😚
[17.14] 🧡🎸: What a shame, I only have a 1940s dress with a boy in it.
[17.14] 🧡🎸: Sorry to disappoint you Peter, was really looking forward to a dream date xx
[17.45] Unknown number: Alas
[17.45] Unknown number: I am not Peter
[17.45] Unknown number: But will let him know you’re available
[17.45] Unknown number: Unless you have just kidnapped a random guy and stuffed them into an old dress?
[17.45] Unknown number: Eh, Petey’s probably desperate enough to consider a hostage
[18.05] 🧡🎸: Damn. Can’t believe I was discovered so soon. It was a foolproof plan
[18.05] 🧡🎸: I’ll just go and release him now.
[18.06] 🧡🎸: If I feed him a saucer of milk and some tuna maybe he won’t have me arrested?
[18.27] Unknown number: No wait
[18.27] Unknown number: If you release him I’ll still have to find Peter a date 😨
[18.30] 🧡🎸: Too late
[18.30] 🧡🎸: He’s already been released back into the wild
[18.30] 🧡🎸: I hope he wasn’t in captivity too long and can still fend for himself
[18.32] Unknown number: Shit. Did you at least keep the dress?
[18.32] Unknown number: Might be able to do something with that
[18.32] Unknown number: Do you think Pete would notice if his date was an oddly constructed scarecrow?
[18.34] 🧡🎸: Depends
[18.35] Unknown number: On?
[18.37] 🧡🎸: Several factors
[18.37] 🧡🎸: How observant he is
[18.37] 🧡🎸: The structural integrity of the oddly constructed scarecrow
[18.37] 🧡🎸: Is he planning on being drunk that night?
[18.37] 🧡🎸: Is he trying to get laid? (In which case we’re back at the first two factors)
[18.40] Unknown number: Hmm
[18.40] Unknown number: Food for thought
[18.40] Unknown number: I’ve worked with worse odds
[18.45] 🧡🎸: I mean the drunk factor could cinch it
[18.46] 🧡🎸: I don’t know him but if he’s not very observant and very drunk you have a chance
[18.46] Unknown number: He’s medium observant. But I think a bit of alcohol poisoning might make up the difference
[18.48] Unknown number: Ok Prongs says we can’t poison him so scratch that
[18.55] 🧡🎸: We? I’m just the ideas man, you’re the poisoner
[18.55] 🧡🎸: What is a ‘Prongs’?
[19.00] Unknown number: Prongs is a nickname
[19.00] Unknown number: for my best mate James
[19.00] Unknown number: You’re the mastermind! That’s worse than the faceless assassin, you’re pulling all the strings from behind the scenes
[19.08] 🧡🎸: Listen
[19.08] 🧡🎸: Am I texting a random unknown number? Yes
[19.08] 🧡🎸: Should I be surprised if it results in some murder? No
[19.08] 🧡🎸: Should I be blamed? Also no
[19.09] 🧡🎸: If the cops are listening I’m not to blame. I’m only a criminal in the brainstorming stages. It was all ‘Unknown Number’.
[19.13] Unknown number: ‘Unknown Number’????
[19.13] Unknown number: I am shocked
[19.13] Unknown number: Shocked and hurt
[19.13] Unknown number: How can you not know who I am????
[19.16] 🧡🎸: Why are you famous or something?
[19.16] 🧡🎸: Do you know who I am?
[19.16] 🧡🎸: Actually how did you get my number?
[19.16] 🧡🎸: Questions I probably should’ve started with but hey ho
[19.16] Unknown number: I should be famous
[19.16] Unknown number: Of course I know who you are, you’re in my phone
[19.17] Unknown number: I send out my text blasts and everyone loves it
[19.17] Unknown number: …
[19.17] Unknown number: Actually you’re down in my phone as 🧡🎸
[19.17] Unknown number: So clearly I know who you are
[19.20] 🧡🎸: Ah yes
[19.20] 🧡🎸:🧡🎸💃
[19.20] 🧡🎸: Just what my mother put on my birth certificate
[19.31] Unknown number: See? Got it in one
[19.31] Unknown number: Nice to meet you (Mr/Miss?)💃
[19.31] Unknown number: I am one Mr 😈👌🔥
'🧡🎸' changed ‘Unknown number’ to ‘Mr 😈👌🔥’
[19.33] 🧡🎸: That’s Sir 🧡🎸💃 to you
‘Mr 😈👌🔥’ changed ‘🧡🎸’ to ‘Sir 🧡🎸💃’
[19.34] Mr 😈👌🔥: Pleasure to make your acquaintance
[19.35] Sir 🧡🎸💃: Likewise