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Blake’s eyes darted towards her friends as she entered the mall. She hoped none of them would notice what was missing, and so far, it didn’t seem like they did, but something deep down told her they knew. That everyone knew, even if they didn’t know her.
Still, there weren’t that many people here at the moment. If this kept up, she could keep her cool, and it wouldn’t even matter in the end.
“So, what are we thinking about for food?” Yang asks, looking around the numerous stands.
Blake’s head jerked up, taking her out of her thoughts. She looked around the busy environment. It was more crowded and loud than the rest of the mall. But Blake shook it off, because there really weren't that many more people. She'll be fine. She has to be.
“How about… there?” Ruby excitedly points to a stand, the sushi place. The other two girls agree to the suggestion from the younger girl.
“Well, Blake? What do you think?” Yang smiles at Blake since she was the only one who didn't respond. She seemed too focused on staring at the people walking around.
“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, sushi is great.” Blake forced a smile back at her friend, hoping that nobody caught on to her acting off. Because everything was fine.
“Sweet! What would you like?” Yang asked the seemingly absent girl.
The girl in question looks up towards the menu above them. The options on the board weren't making any sense, like her mind was too scattered to register the words ahead of her. “Anything is fine, I guess.” She shrugged.
“Alright! It'll be a surprise then!” Yang grins and turns towards the others to talk to them.
Blake nods and looks around the room to find a spot to evacuate and to take a moment to get herself together. but at the same time, not be seen as suspicious. Because there's no reason to be overwhelmed . “I’ll go get a seat for us.” The perfect excuse , she realized.
She found one as quickly as possible and sat down, putting her head on the table. Hopefully, she could drown out the noise until she got to eat.
Then the lunch rush came.
Blake groaned. Every second that passed became a minute of waiting. It started feeling like an eternity waiting for her friends to make they're way over. But in reality, it's only been a minute.
“It's fine. This is fine. They'll be back in a minute.” She mumbled to herself, trying to settle her rising anxiety. But it was starting to get harder and harder for her to focus. She felt like she could hear everything. Everyone talking, cashiers opening and closing, ovens digging, shoes on the ground…
Blake sighed as she sat back up. “It's fine…” She repeats as she starts rocking in her seat. It feels nice. “I'm fine.”
It wasn’t fine. It was only getting worse. Louder. Louder.
Blake needed to figure out how to block out the noises, it felt like her ears were ringing. But how? She left her headphones at home because she obviously didn't need them. Why did she think she didn’t? Blake slapped her face, knowing she always made these last-minute decisions at the worst possible times…
So, the headphones were out of the question. What's next? The rocking was helping, it was grounding her. But it was not enough . It was still too much. Too loud. Too crowded. Too… everything…
Blake looked over towards her friends. They were still waiting for the food to finish cooking. She tapped her feet on the floor, as if it would make it go any faster. It didn’t. It didn’t at all. All Blake wanted was to get out of here. To get away from the noises. To be fine again. To just take the food and run all the way home and act like this whole thing never happened.
But, it was taking forever. And it sucked.
The noise of someone dropping something metal in one of the variety of food joints caught Blake’s attention as it felt like an explosion in her head. To counter the feeling, she started hissing through her teeth, feeling the air go back and forth… back and forth… It helped for a little bit, but a small part of her wondered if anyone was watching her, if anyone was judging her. Maybe it was worse than if she did have those headphones. She didn’t know. She didn’t care right now. She just. Wanted it. To end.
“Hey, food's here!” Someone's voice she thought she recognized, but it was hard to understand who said it. Blake looked over and realized her friends were finally coming over after so long.
She didn’t give a response back though, as she was trying to focus on the hissing. On the good noise, the good feeling. The air coming in and out that helped block everything else out.
“Are you… okay?” Weiss asked, raising her eyebrow in concern. She looked over to the two sisters, who were also eyeing Blake with worried looks.
That's when Blake realized, they knew something was up. They were catching on… but it also meant she could finally leave!
“I'm fine.” Blake forced herself to say, still focused on the matter at hand. She kept hissing and rocking. Wait, was she still rocking? Blake didn't know, didn't care. All she knew was, it was helping her get past the noises. It was enough to keep herself grounded.
“Can we just eat already?” She asked after a minute of silence and being watched. Are they judging? Of course they are. They're judging her because She can't handle a little bit of noise, right?
“Blake…” Yang sighed and sat in one of the seats next to her panicked girlfriend. “I know something's up, can you tell us?”
After not getting a response out of her, the blonde tried again, speaking in a gentle, understanding voice. “Blake, we're not going to judge you or hate you…”
Blake finally looks at them. Enough for them to know she's listening, but still avoiding eye contact to not trigger herself more than already is. Blake thinks, rationally, she can trust them. They understand, they won't be upset. they're not going to judge her. They're not Adam or the White Fang. It's going to be okay…
She can be honest with them.
“It- It's loud…” she finally admits. “I want to leave…”
There was silence between the three girls after Blake mumbled those sentences.
“You're right, it is pretty loud in here.” Ruby was the first to acknowledge her with a slight nod. “But how can we help…?” She looked around to assess the situation.
They knew about the volume overwhelming her, But something else was wrong, something else that was missing…
“Wait a minute!” Ruby pointed out. “I just noticed! Where are those headphones with the little cat ears on them? You’re always wearing them! They can help!”
There it was. No point in hiding it now.
“Yeah… I forgot them at home…” Blake fibbed. “It sucks, I know…”
“Oh… I get it!” Ruby perked up, digging into her backpack. “I’m sure I have them in here…”
“Hm?” Blake perked up, and she saw Ruby pull out a smaller pair of headphones.
“I sometimes use these whenever I get overwhelmed by loud sounds. You can use them for now until we get back!”
Blake looked away from her. “Ruby, you really don’t have to…”
“Well I can’t just leave you like that!” She retorted. “I promise you’ll feel a lot better!”
Hesitantly, Blake put on the headphones Ruby gave her. Slowly, everything went quieter… they weren’t as soft as her usual headphones, but just feeling all of the noise drowning out was enough to put her at ease. Blake let out a small smile as she laid her head down on the table, with Ruby crouching down next to her.
“Does that feel better now, Blake?”
“Yeah…” Blake sighed, satisfaction filling her head.
“Would you like some sushi now?” Ruby asked again.
“Yeah…” Blake nodded, getting up from the table to have a meal in peace with her friends.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, everything was better, quiet, and she was finally able to relax. For the first time today, Blake was able to laugh and enjoy herself with her friends.
After finishing their lunch, the girls left the mall and made their way through town, heading back to the dorms, Blake in the back with the headphones on and taking in the calmness.
Blake looked around herself, examining the buildings and environment; Listening to the noises she can't really hear thanks to her friend's headphones. Thinking about how they're almost back home, just a few more blocks away. About how she can't wait to get there. Can’t wait to finally relax and put this whole day behind her. And Blake was definitely looking forward to that.
At least another block or two passed when her attention was caught by Yang, who gently pulled Blake aside from the others. She eyes Blake before giving a knowing smile.
“You didn't forget them by accident, did you?” She asks, implying that she may know the truth about Blakes headphones. Of course she does, Yang knows her girlfriend well.
Blake looks away ashamed for a moment, trying to figure out what she should say. Debating on being honest or keep trying to push the lie.
Finally, she sighs and shakes her head. “No. I left them at the dorms… kinda on purpose…”
“Blake…” Yang groaned. Not out of annoyance, but out of slight disappointment. Wishing that Blake would ever get out of her internal ableism, her internal self hatred.
Yang wished Blake saw herself the way she saw her.
“Can I hug you?” Yang asked after a moment, holding her arms out as an invitation. Blake hesitated before nodding and leaning into the hug as Yang spoke. “I wish you knew how much I love you, how we all love you, no matter what. We'll never judge you for having your headphones or needing help.”
“I-” Blake froze before slightly smiling and resting her head on her girlfriend's shoulders. “I know…”
“Good, I hope you do.” Yang gave Blake a light kiss. “And I will say it again, we love you regardless of whatever you think.”
They stayed like that for a moment, taking in each other's presences and love. A moment of relaxation and comfort for the two.
“Alright, let's go back to the others before they start asking questions.” Yang lightly laughed, taking Blakes hand and gently guiding them back to the other two.
Despite that, Ruby looked over with a smirk as they returned. “And what were you two doing?” She asked in a teasing tone.
“Ah, nothing. Just talking.” Yang shrugged. But Ruby, being Ruby, laughed. All while Weiss eyed Yang suspiciously during the whole conversation. Blake just awkwardly stood there, not really knowing what to say or do.
Once they finished the short conversation, the group turned back around and continued wandering the streets, finally making it to their destination.
The moment they walked into the room, Blake let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding. It had been a stressful day, and all she wanted to do now was curl under blankets and relax. But before she could do that, she dug around the room a bit, and…
“There they are!” Blake cried, snatching her cat ear headphones and putting them on.
“Oh, yay!” Ruby cheered, grinning. “That's great!”
Blake smiled back and replaced Ruby's headphones with her own, handing the temporary ones back to their rightful owner.
“Thank you, Ruby. It helped me, alot.” She stated. While Ruby's headphones felt nice, putting on her own and having that soft, puffy feeling on her ears felt right .
“Of course.” Ruby stated. “I get it, I'm just glad it helped.”
Blake gave a short nod, her eyes drowsy. “Hey um… I think I'm going to head to bed early tonight.”
“That's fine.” Weiss waves her off. Blake goes to lay down in her bed, hearing her friends whispering amongst themselves.
She closed her eyes and snuggled down in her blankets. With her headphones still on, she embraced the outside silence and light noise of her own relaxing music playing.
Suddenly, she felt someone on top of her, arms wrapped around her. Blake looked up sleepily seeing Yang cuddling her with a light smile.
Blake didn’t think think much of it, as Yang was a naturally touchy person. But then she was surprised by Ruby climbing up on top too.
It was relaxing, and heavy. A good heavy. Like a warm weighted blanket.
Blake snuggled back down in her friend's arms. Not realizing it at first, she started to feel herself purring. It helped with the relaxation. That, added on with the headphones and cuddles, it was everything.
“You too, Weiss.” She heard Ruby's muffled laughter and Weiss's groan before she felt the ice queen finding her way onto the cuddle pile.
Now it was perfect. And Blake couldn't be more content.