Work Text:
Lenin was a Roblox player. He liked exploring the billions of games that existed in the platform. But now he was bored. Always playing games like "Push people off the map" or "Boys and Girls Dance Club" alone is not that fun, he wanted someone to play it with him.
First, he went for Zinoviev and Kamenev, but they were busy. Then he went for Bukharin, but he was drawing, so Lenin didn't want to disturb him. These were the people he thought would accept playing with him, but none of them were free. He had two more options, and with this, an idea came to mind.
"Now I only have Trotsky and Stalin..." He thought. "Now wait a minute... What if, instead of only calling one of them, I called both of them!? Wait, no, things would get a bit spicy. Hold up, things would get a bit spicy!". And that's exactly what he wanted, something fun to happen. Lenin's idea was: call both Trotsky and Stalin to play! This will go well, for sure...
Trotsky was in his office finishing some work, it was night time and he was pretty tired. Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door:
"It's open," he screamed "come in."
"Sorry, I hope I didn't disturb you." Lenin went in, trying to stay as professional as possible.
"Ah, Lenin. It's fine, I was finishing some work. What is it?"
"So, today I was thinking that we could play some games together! I thought it would be fun since I'm getting bored of being all by myself..."
"Wait, seriously? That would be amazing! Yeah, I'll finish what I have left then we can do it."
"Alright, I will wait for you in my office!" Lenin said as he left the room.
With Trotsky out of the way, Lenin only had Stalin left. Stalin wasn't that difficult too, sometimes when you told him to do something he would ask "Why?", but with Lenin was different. He would do pretty much everything Lenin told him. Is it appreciation? Love? Well, that doesn't really matter.
Stalin was also in his office, but unlike Trotsky he was sitting on his desk, apparently... spacing out? Oh, that also doesn't matter. It happens to the best of us.
"Excuse me... Comrade Stalin? Hello. It's me, Lenin! Come back to Earth!" Lenin swayed his hand in front of Stalin's eyes, trying to get his attention.
"Ah, Comrade Lenin." Stalin said. He was, indeed, spacing out.
"Sorry to disturb you, but can I ask you a favor?"
"Of course, what is it?
"Can we please play together today?" Lenin put his hands together to make this sentence a little bit more dramatic.
"With you? Today? Really?" He seemed a bit shocked. "Sounds... fun! Alright!"
"You can come to my office whenever you're free, then." Lenin said as he was about to walk out the door. "See you― wait, why are you following me?"
"You said I can come whenever I'm free, and I'm free right now, so I'm coming." Stalin said.
Lenin looked at him with a quite bothered face. "Noー Actually, I meant you don't need to come right now, I have to prepare some things. You can come in 3 minutes, okay?"
"But if you didn't mean it, then why didn't you say I can come whenever you're ready?"
"Fine, fine. You can come in 3 minutes. I'll have everything prepared by then."
Stalin now had a shocked face, the little-kid-understands-everything-now-type of face. "Got it! Then, I'll see you in 3 minutes when you have everything prepared!"
"Yes, yes. See you then!" Lenin let out a sigh as he left the room. It's not like he was annoyed, it's just that he forgets not everyone has an easy time with "reading between the lines". It's not like he disliked it, though. It was a bit cute sometimes.
When he got back to his office, he started wondering what should he do. "So first, we're gonna need the equipment, a computer, or a phone, whatever. Now it would be cool to have something to drink, right? Maybe I should get some water... Oh, we should sit down on the floor for this, kinda like an informal meeting. Yeah, that should be it." He grabbed 3 bottles of water, placed them near where they would sit, and everything was done. Now all he had to do IS wait. While he was waiting, Lenin started laughing. He remembered he invited two guys who despise eachother to play. This was truly going to be one of the nights of all time.
Exact three minutes later, Lenin heard a knock on the door. It was Stalin. He really came three minutes after they talked. Was he looking at the clock this entire time? Who knows, this will remain a mystery.
"Welcome, Comrade Stalin! Sit down if you want, don't mind me." Lenin spoke brightly. "I already know the game we're gonna play tonight, so don't worry about it. Ah, I also invited someone to play with us, with you don't mind."
"Really? Who is it? Stalin said, with an aura of innocence surrounding him. Oh, you sweet summer child, you don't know what awaits you.
"That's a secret!" Lenin told him. "Wait 'til they come and you will see."
Some minutes later, they heard a knock on the door. It was Trotsky, Lenin assumed. When he stood up to open the door, he let out a laugh. Stalin looked at him with confusion, which made him laugh harder. Calm down! Lenin thought, Wait until they see eachother!, but it was impossible. He opened the door, and it was indeed, Trotsky.
"Welcome, Comrade Trotsky!" He said, loudly, to let Stalin know. "Sit down and relax, let's have a great time!" Lenin now had a smug smile on his face.
"Thank you, Comrade Lenin. I hope today will be fun." Trotsky walked in, about to sit down where Lenin told him to. "Ah, someone's here too? Who isー"
Trotsky and Stalin looked at eachother, both of them blinking an abnormal amount.
"Huh?" Trotsky said.
"Wait... are you telling meー Lenin, is he..." Stalin said.
"Exactly! I decided to invite you both to play today." Lenin spoke with his smug smile still on his face. "Now, let's enjoy!"
Both Stalin and Trotsky agreed Lenin should sit in between them, and Lenin also agreed. After all, he expected some constant teasing and fights, but he didn't want it to escalate into violence.
"Alright! So... Have you guys ever heard of Roblox?" Lenin asked them.
"Not really..." Trotsky replied, doing minimal eye contact and with a visible annoyed smile on his face.
"Well, I did!" Stalin spoke proudly, like he was superior to Trotsky here.
"Even if you don't know it, I want to show it to you guys today." Lenin spoke, trying to mediate tensions for now. "First, you have to create an account, you can choose any username you want! When you guys are done creating an account, please tell me so I can add you both as friends and we'll get to play together!"
After some minutes of silence, Stalin said: "I finished! I finished first!". Trotsky looked at him annoyed.
"Well, I thought of a really good name, you probably came up with something dumb, so technically, I win." Now it was Trotsky who had a smug smile on his face.
"Huh? You don't even know what my name is, you scumbag!" Stalin replied.
"And I already know it's probably some kind of bullshit!" Trotsky said.
"You...!" Stalin raised his fist.
"Now, now. Let's calm down everyone. Tell me your name, Stalin." Lenin acted as he wasn't liking it. It was all going according to what he planned, and he loved it.
"My name is trotssuck!" Now it was Stalin who was acting all smug.
"What? You can't keep my name out of your mind, huh?" Trotsky teased him. "Well, my name is leninsdisciple. I thought it would be relevant to put such name since I am playing with Lenin himself, and everyone should know I am devoted to the Bolsheー"
"Boo! What a nerd! And then my name is a complete bullshit, even though yours means 'devoted to the Bolsheviks'. Complete bullshit!" Stalin interrupted him.
"And your name is the best, totally." Trotsky sarcastically said.
"Yes, I'm glad you agree." Stalin said, not sarcastic.
"I was being ironic if your brain couldn't comprehend it."
"Guys please... Let's calm down!" Lenin tried to prevent things from getting waaay to spicy. "Now that I have you guys in my friend list, go to my profile and join my game. I'll explain what it is about once both of you joined."
When they both managed to join, Lenin started explaining. "So this game is called 'Adopt Me!'. It's a game where you can adopt other players and act as a family. You can also get pets from eggs that the game sells and trade them!"
"Wait, I just noticed your name is cat_enjoyer, Lenin." Trotsky pointed out.
"Well, about that..."
"WOOW!!! There's a person flying! On a bear! The bear is flying!" Stalin was intrigued by the habilities of animals in this game. It's not everyday you see a bear flying, after all.
"Yeah, you give the pet a potion and they are able to fly!" Lenin explained. "Unfortunately, you have to use real money to get it, but let's not talk about that right now."
"Wait, where can we get a pet?" Trotsky asked.
"Follow me, I'll show you!" Lenin said.
After some minutes, he brought them to where you can buy eggs. "So, basically you buy these eggs and take care of them. After a while, they will crack and you will get a pet. There are a bunch of rarities, legendary being the most rare. I'll get one for you two."
Lenin bought two royal eggs, the most expensive type of egg. "This egg has a higher chance of giving you a legendary pet! In this game, you can trade itens with others, meaning you can also trade pets with others. You have to click on the player's avatar and click on the 'trade' button, then it will ask them if they want to accept. I'll send a trade request to both of you, so make sure to accept."
"Alright!" Both of them said at the same time.
"Now your egg will ask you to do tasks, and you will have to do them so you can get your pet. I'll show you where you can do each task!"
After some minutes, Trotsky was the first one to get a pet. "Wait, I got a unicorn! How rare is this?"
"Oh my! A unicorn is legendary!" Lenin replied.
"Wait, really!? Well, looks like I got the best one!" Trotsky said, smugly.
"Well, I still have to do some tasks, so wait and you'll see!" Stalin said.
"Hehe. Some people here ask to do a trust trade, where one of them volunteers to give the item first. I don't think they will ask any of you, but be careful and only do it with people you know, okay?"
"Alright, then Trotsky! Let's do a trust trade!" Stalin spoke, pretty much challenging him.
"How am I supposed to trust you?" Trotsky asked.
"You will take care of this egg, and I will have your unicorn for some time until the egg cracks. How about it? You do the job for me while I do the job for you!"
"Fine, fine. Just this once, 'kay?"
"Okay!" Oh, you sweet summer child! How many sweet summer childs today! This is a trap, don't do it! But he did it anyways. Now every Adopt Me player's canonical event was happening to Trotsky.
After some time, the egg finally cracked. "Ah, it's a shiba inu. What's the rarity?" Trotsky asked.
"It's ultra-rare! Not as rare as a unicorn, but it's not bad." Lenin told him.
"I see. Give me back my unicorn now, Stalin. I did what you told me." Trotsky told him, but didn't get an answer. Slowly, he was finally understanding what happened. "Wait. Give me back my unicorn. This is not funny, Stalin. Give it back to me."
"This unicorn is so pretty! Thank you for giving it to me, Comrade Trotsky! ♪" Stalin bragged to him. Now Trotsky finally realized, he got scammed.
"LENIN! THIS IS NOT ALLOWED, RIGHT? YOU CAN'T JUST STEAL SOMEONE'S PET LIKE THIS!" He asked desperately.
"It isn't... But it happens to everyone atleast once, so don't get sad, okay?" Lenin said brightly, like he was used to it.
"NO! If I got this unicorn, I should get to keep it! Stalin, give it back to me NOW!"
"Don't want to!" Stalin replied confidently.
"You little...!" Trotsky raised his fist and tried to stand up. Lenin sensed a fight. A physical one.
"No need to fight, you guys! Stalin, please give it back to him." Lenin begged.
"But..."
"I don't want to have to take someone to the hospital today. Please, this is for your own sake." Lenin whispered on Stalin's ear.
"Fine, fine... Sorry. Happy now?" Stalin gave back Trotsky's unicorn, also getting his shiba inu.
"Yes. Thank you." Trotsky replied, giggling a bit.
"What are you giggling about?" Stalin looked annoyed.
"Hm? Nothing, why does it matter?"
"You two... Let's enjoy the game now, okay?" Lenin said, in an attempt to calm the environment.
"Alright..." They both said.
While they were discovering the wonders of this game, Stalin found out something: how to change the characters age. Then he had an idea. "Trotsky, come here for a second."
"What is it?"
"Can you rejoin the game?"
"Huh?" Trotsky looked at him, confused.
"Rejoin the game and choose your role as a kid."
"Why?"
"Do it."
"Fine, fine." Trotsky left the game, immediately joining back. He changed his role, now instead of being an adult, he was a child. "Why are you holding me." He asked.
"Just wait and see." Stalin was carrying him. For some reason. Actually, this reason was pretty clear.
"Wait― why are you going to the edge of the bridge?" Trotsky asked. "Wait, WAIT― WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" Stalin had thrown Trotsky into the river. Another canonical event had happened to Trotsky.
"Ahaha! This is so cool!" Stalin was apparently enjoying this.
"Oh, did you throw Trotsky into the river? This is one's a classic!" Lenin said.
"Why are you finding this cool, Lenin! This is horrible!" Trotsky said, really mad, mostly with Stalin.
"I can grab you again! Come here, Leon!" Stalin said.
"Go away! Creep! You're horrible!"
"You two..." Lenin giggled. He just liked talking care of his cat in this game, but seeing them bully eachother was also pretty entertaining.
"I'm tired... I want to sleep." Stalin yawned.
"Me too... Let's call it a day, shall we?" Trotsky said.
"Yeah, yeah. Hey, what if you two slept here today?" Lenin suggested.
"Here? In your office?" Stalin asked.
"Yeah, like a sleepover! It would be fun, don't you think?"
"I don't mind... I think it's better than to walk back to my office." Trotsky said.
"If you two want it, then I guess... Fine for me." There was no point being against such idea anyways, so Stalin agreed.
"Alright! Grab those pillows on the sofa, we can use them." Lenin said.
"Let me get it, then." Trotsky volunteered. "You know, despite me getting my pet stolen, I would say this was pretty fun."
"I hate to admit that I had fun playing with Trotsky, but yes, I agree." Stalin said.
"I'm glad you both are starting to get along." Lenin smiled.
"We're not getting along! This was just an exception..." Stalin objected.
"Well, I have to agree. I didn't expect to start getting along with you, Stalin. You're not as bad as I thought. I would like to hang out with you someday again. Oh, and with Lenin too, of course." Trotsky said.
"You... But if it's with Lenin, then I guess it's fine."
"Well, I had fun today! I'm happy you guys agreed to play with me. Let's do this again someday." Lenin spoke while he went for the light switch. "Now, let's rest for a bit."
He turned off the lights, and all of them went to sleep.