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"Ernie, you ordered the costumes, right?" Bert calls from the kitchen, where he is meticulously planning their trick-or-treat route.
"Yes, Bert," Ernie calls back from the bedroom.
Bert nods, satisfied, before pausing. "And you remembered to pick them up too, right?"
"Of course, Bert," Ernie replies again, poking his head out from the room. "You said it was very important that I remember, so I did."
"Good." Bert relaxes, still pooling over the map of Sesame Street. He had been planning this for weeks, it had to be perfect.
"Tada." Ernie appears from the bedroom. Bert turns to look at him in his costume, only to recoil.
"Ernie, what is this?" Exasperation can be heard in Bert's voice.
"I'm custard!" Ernie does a little twirl in his costume. "Just like you said, we're ketchup and custard!"
"Mustard, Ernie!" Bert brings his hand to his face, dragging his features down. "Ketchup and mustard! Who the heck eats ketchup and custard!"
"Well, I don't know about that, Bert, what about a good ol' ketchup and custard hotdog-"
"That's not a thing!" Bert throws up his arms, then retreats, sighing.
Ernie nods for a moment, mulling this over. Then, he speaks, "Hey Bert, I have a great business idea-"
Bert rubs his temples, "Well it's too late to change the costumes now, so I guess I'll just go get changed."
As Bert brushes by Ernie to get to their bedroom, Ernie grabs his sleeve, tugging him back. "I'm sorry I messed up the costumes, Bert."
Bert can't help but melt, softening at the edges as he turns back to Ernie. "It's okay." He says gently. Ernie gives him a big dumb smile and Bert can't help but lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek. Before Ernie can respond to his rare display of affection, Bert turns around and hurries into the bedroom.
Bert and Ernie meet the group on the far side of Sesame Street, dressed in their costumes. As they approach, Big Bird, who is dressed as a giant pumpkin, jumps up and down.
"Oh, ketchup and custard, a classic!"
"Elmo loves a ketchup and custard hotdog." Elmo, dressed as a superhero, nods his head.
Bert pauses, brow scrunching up and face deadpan as he stares at an imaginary camera.
"Thank you." Ernie does a twirl in his custard costume.
The group begins to trudge down Sesame Street, using Bert's meticulously thought-out route to get all the best candy.
As they approach the last house, Bert can't help but stop. The broken exterior and darkened interior of the house certainly don't match the rest of Sesame Street. All the other houses have festive decor and bright lights. The others pause when they see Bert stop.
"What's wrong, Bert?" Ernie asks.
Bert continues to stare at the house, "I don't know, Ernie, I think we should skip this house."
"Elmo wants more candy." He turns, treading up to the door. Big Bird nods and follows.
"It'll be fine, Bert." Ernie extends his hand, and Bert reluctantly takes it. Ernie leads him up the steps to the house.
Elmo knocks on the door and it swings open.
"Hello?" Big Bird calls inside.
"Trick or Treat!" Ernie adds.
There's no answer.
"We should just go-" Bert starts to insist.
"Elmo thinks they should know that their door is broken." Elmo begins to step into the house.
"What!" It's less of a question and more of an exclamation on Bert's part. He reaches forward to grab Elmo.
"He's right, doors shouldn't just swing open like that." Ernie nods.
"They shouldn't, which is why we should get out of here, Ernie!"
"Oh, Bert, it'll just be a few moments."
In the time Bert and Ernie have that conversation, Elmo and Big Bird already slipped into the house.
Ernie presses ahead and Bert lingers in the doorway, wanting to scold them all again, yet also knowing that it wouldn't stop them anyway. Eventually, he hurries inside after them.
The interior of the house is just as run down as the outside. Old Victorian furniture is scattered about the rooms, torn and decaying. Cobwebs that stretch across walls send a chill up Bert's spine as he wonders how big the spiders that made them are.
"We shouldn't be here." Bert eyes the scratch marks on the wall.
Heavy footsteps are heard from upstairs.
"That must be the owners!" Big Bird says optimistically. They pick their way through the scattered broken glass.
The stairs are in the same shape as the rest of the house. With every step, Bert worries that he'll fall through the boards. They creak as they all make their way up... alerting whoever is upstairs.
At the top of the stairs, crashing and banging are heard in the bedroom. Bert recoils, but the others seem unfazed.
"Must be working on something!" Ernie says. "Maybe their costume!"
As they open the bedroom door, Bert searches for some kind of weapon for whatever creature they're about to encounter, but when the door opens, Bert stops.
"What are you guys doing here."
Oscar the Grouch stands in the middle of the room, hammer in hand as he's in the middle of destroying the flooring.
Bert blinks at him.
"We wanted to tell you the door is broken." Ernie prances over.
"I know, that's how I want it." Oscar frowns.
Bert looks around. "When did you get a house?"
"Oh it's not mine, I'm just fixing it up for my uncle."
Bert looks at him skeptically, "This is how you fix it up?"
"Yeah, isn't it looking great!" Oscar stretches out his arms, gesturing to the room. Bert takes a good look around. The splintered floor and dirt-splotched walls look horrendous compared to Bert and Ernie's carefully crafted home. Bert had put a lot of time into making their house look perfect, yet it seems like Oscar put a lot of time into making this place look awful.
"Oh, you probably want candy, right?" Oscar finally seems to notice their costumes. He turns, grabbing some dusty candy from a bowl that looks more ancient than the house and dumping it into their buckets. "There you go."
As they all leave the house, Ernie lingers back with Bert, looking up and taking in the moon in the night sky. They walk hand in hand down Sesame Street, enjoying the rest of the night.