Work Text:
It was quiet.
London was as asleep as it was ever going to get, and there were enough places Edwin could visit where he knew he would be left alone with his thoughts at night. Or, perhaps that was not the right turn of phrase. His mind was silent, after all, wrapped in the tranquillity around him.
The zoo was a good place at night. He was surrounded by life and quiet at the same time.
Some of the animals, if they were awake, would sense him, and he smiled as he walked past them. None of them were frightened by his presence, but the odd ear or tail would twitch.
Of course, the only animals that could actually see him were all manner of cats, being associated with death in many mythologies for a reason. The London Zoo didn’t have too many felines, but Edwin was particularly fond of one of the Sumatran tigers, and he would take care to walk past their enclosure during his visits.
Edwin going on such nightly walks was not something he’d done for a long time. He’d used to stay at the office during slow nights and read. There was always something to learn or research, or to find something to learn or research. Basically, he’d behaved in death as he had in life.
But quite a few things had changed in the more recent past. Things that had ripped him out of the comfort of his mind and thrown him into a maelstrom of different emotions. Most of them had settled like dust after being shaken free. Love and friendship felt comfortable and warm now, like his office, his library, his cases. His home. Because both love and friendship were part of his home.
Loneliness, on the other hand, was an entirely different matter. Once he had admitted to himself that this was something he felt, it remained an open wound, and losing his confidante, however brief their friendship had been, had made things even worse. Now, he knew what he was missing.
But the worst part of that feeling was having to acknowledge that despite having Charles and Crystal in his afterlife – and knowing that it would take an indescribable force to take Charles away from him – there was still his loneliness that neither could battle completely.
Edwin wasn’t quite certain what the cause of it was, just that it was a constant in his heart and had been for a very long time.
He had never mentioned it to Charles or Crystal, because they would want to understand it, and Edwin didn’t even know how to do that himself. They would also try to alleviate it, and Edwin knew that more social activities would make it worse not better.
Hence, his occasional nightly walks that he said he needed to ’clear his head’. The current one was only the fifth, but he knew that it helped somewhat, so it wouldn’t be the last. His walks were never questioned, because both his friends were of the opinion that he needed to switch off every now and again. He supposed he could see their point, because, paradoxically, he felt less lonely when he was surrounded by the quiet, letting feelings and thoughts flow through him like a calming river.
He absently strolled towards the tiger enclosure and was then greeted by cat eyes of an entirely different type of cat.
“Hello, Edwin,” the Cat King grinned at him.
Edwin froze for a moment, startled out of his solitude. It was incredibly jarring to have two worlds collide like that but not at all unpleasant.
“A little kitty told me you might come by here tonight. Or, well, a big kitty.”
The quip brought Edwin’s senses back to him, and he smirked, walking closer.
“And what is the Cat King of Port Townsend doing in London?”
“Can’t a guy travel the Atlantic and visit a friend?” the Cat King asked innocently.
Edwin opened his mouth to ask for the real reason, but then he stopped, narrowing his eyes. It would be very like the Cat King to say the truth in such a way that everyone would believe it to be a lie.
“Hm,” he hummed shrewdly and came to a halt next to his visiting friend. “And what excuse did you use to travel the Atlantic so you could visit me?”
The Cat King was shocked into silence for a second, then he laughed out loud.
“Oh, I have missed you.” His wide grin toned down into a smirk rivalling Edwin’s shrewdness. “And I’d almost forgotten how smart you are.”
“Then it’s a good thing I reminded you, isn’t it?” he raised a demanding eyebrow, making the Cat King’s smirk widen for a moment.
“I was requested to attend an assembly in London, and while some of those are actually important, the current one was definitely not.”
Edwin bit his lips to keep himself from laughing, which surprised him. He wasn’t exactly prone to the giggles, and only a minute ago, he’d been deeply wrapped up in only himself.
“Did you even attend at all?”
“Long enough to express my disdain, then I skedaddled.”
Edwin couldn’t hold back a snorted laugh, this time, which made the Cat King look very pleased with himself.
For a long moment they stood side by side, watching the one tiger that was within view.
“How are you, Edwin?” the Cat King eventually asked.
“Well enough, I suppose. We’re no longer on the run, so that’s a load off my chest.”
“And off mine,” the Cat King replied, sounding perfectly serious. “I heard about that.”
“How could you possibly have heard about that?” Edwin demanded to know, turning to face the Cat King.
“The grapevine, darling. The grapevine.”
Edwin shook his head, amused. He supposed that he shouldn’t be surprised.
Once more, they just stood in companionable silence.
“Did you…” Edwin eventually couldn’t hold himself back from asking, “… really come here to visit me?”
The Cat King smiled sardonically. “Well, you had me dead to rights. Again.” He tilted his head to look at Edwin. “So, yes. I did.”
Edwin didn’t quite dare return the look. “Are you… still lonely?”
“It’s the damnedest thing. Once it was pointed out to me, it got really hard to ignore.”
Edwin closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Naw,” the Cat King waved him off. “I deserved the wake-up call.”
“But you don’t deserve to be lonely.”
This time, the Cat King turned fully to face Edwin. “Edwin, you don’t deserve to be lonely either.”
Edwin’s expression turned painful. “But I don’t have a reason to be lonely, do I?” He could feel tears build up. This was why he liked his nights of solitude and contemplation; nobody confronted him about what he was feeling and nobody caused him to confront it himself.
“I don’t have a reason,” he repeated. “I have Charles and Crystal. I’ve had Charles for thirty years.” A tear escaped, and he brushed it away, annoyed. “I had no reason to be lonely for thirty years.” And yet he had been lonely. It was no wonder that he didn’t wish to think about that fact too much.
The Cat King seemed at a loss for a few seconds. “Well, that turned heavy real quick,” he muttered, then he laid a gentle hand on one of Edwin’s arms.
“That’s not quite how loneliness works, though.”
“It makes no sense,” Edwin whispered. “It made no sense before, and one would think that it would help that Charles has seen hell now too. That he understands it.”
“He doesn’t,” the Cat King contradicted.
Edwin looked at him, confused.
“He’s seen your hell, not his. And while seeing you hurt probably is his hell, he could do something about it.” He let that sink in. When he saw that comprehension slowly dawned in Edwin’s expression, he continued. “The point of hell is that you can’t.”
Edwin’s breath caught. That was the truth, wasn’t it? He had managed to escape after seven decades of his hellish nightmare, but there had been nothing he could do to ever change it. Charles’ glimpse of hell had been Edwin being trapped there, and he had changed that.
“You know, that hug is still on the table,” the Cat King said in a quite successful attempt to lighten the mood.
It made Edwin laugh, which in turn let two tears escape that he quickly brushed away. He tried to find a reply, huffed and shook his head.
“You know what?” he said after a moment. “Why not?” He didn’t move though, uncertain how to initiate a hug.
The Cat King looked like he only barely managed to hold back a Really? and very slowly moved to wrap Edwin in a hug, giving him every opportunity to change his mind.
Hesitantly, Edwin returned it, uncertain what to make of the feeling of someone neither human nor ghost in his arms. He sighed, relaxing somewhat.
“Is this magic I feel?”
The Cat King smiled a bit at Edwin’s scholastic tendencies. “For one, yes. For another, you can feel the essence I’m made of, but I think that’s a discussion for another time.”
Edwin curiously moved a hand up and down the Cat King’s back.
“Can you feel me?”
“Of course.”
Edwin relaxed some more, reassured by the fact that this was something that could be shared between them.
“Do you think,” the Cat King said cautiously, “that we could be lonely together for a while? Every now and then?”
“What would that entail?” Edwin had to ask.
The Cat King couldn’t help it, he just had to say: “Well, you have met me.” He smiled a bit when Edwin only hid his probably burning face in the shoulder it was closest to but didn’t pull away. “But I’ve also met you, so, whatever you’re comfortable with,” he said, coaxing Edwin’s face from his shoulder to look at him, “I’ll more than happily deliver.”
“Even if it doesn’t involve physical intimacy?”
“What are you calling this, then?” the Cat King asked, nodding at their arms that were still wrapped around each other.
Edwin, frustrated at his hesitancy and knowing damn well that the Cat King knew what he was talking about, bit his lips.
“You know what I mean.”
The Cat King smirked a bit but didn’t respond to the obvious.
“Edwin, I enjoy your company. You’re smart as a whip, and there’s something really deep that draws me to you.” He paused, uncertain how to put that, then he dismissed it for the time being.
“You’re adorable when you don’t know how to respond to my antics and an absolute delight when you do.”
Now, Edwin smirked himself.
“Exactly!” the Cat King agreed. “Now, I can’t really claim that my designs for you are entirely honourable, but my intentions are to only take what you are willing to give.”
Edwin pondered that information.
“If us being lonely together consists of talking and something like me showing you my library – which is, by the way, extensive – I’ll take it.”
Edwin’s eyes predictably lit up, making the Cat King grin.
“And if you ever think that sex is something you would like to experience with me, by all means, let me know.” He kind of expected Edwin to jump at the chance to browse a centuries-old library and was surprised when a long, contemplative silence followed.
Edwin stared into the middle distance just over the Cat King’s shoulder.
“Would it… help?” he asked in a small voice before forcing himself to meet golden eyes. “With the loneliness?”
The Cat King’s breath caught in his throat, and all hints of smirks or cheekiness evaporated. Oh, how he wanted to say Yes; scream it, really. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.
“Just fucking? No, I can’t say that it would.”
Edwin shivered a bit. “But…?” The hopeful tone of his voice was unmistakeable.
How Edwin still managed to catch him completely off guard was a delightful mystery, and the Cat King had to very swiftly switch mental gears, because he had not expected this kind of conversation to take place today. Someday, maybe, if he was lucky. But not today.
Gently, he moved one hand so that he could run the backs of his fingers over Edwin’s cheek.
“If…” he started uncharacteristically haltingly, “it is a part of our companionship and something you enjoy, then, yes, it could help with the loneliness.”
Edwin unconsciously leaned into the soft touch.
“Would it help you?”
The Cat King gave an odd little chuckle and let his hand fall to Edwin’s shoulder. “Oh, if you were anyone else, I’d tell you where to shove it and then show you.”
Edwin rolled his eyes, amused.
The Cat King’s expression softened. “But since you’re you,” he continued, appearing only a little uncomfortable, took another deep breath and added, “having you in my life in some capacity, sharing your time and your body with me…” He huffed once, incredulous. “It would mean a lot.”
He could all but see the gears turn behind Edwin’s eyes and sighed. He stepped out of the hug, took a hold of one of Edwin’s hands and kissed it (though more intimately than gallantly).
“This means a lot. Despite my obviously irresistible charms, I can keep it in my pants, if I want to.” He could have kicked himself for backtracking like this, but the soft and cheeky smile growing on Edwin’s face made it almost worth it.
Edwin wasn’t quite sure how he got from practically basking in his loneliness to whatever this was.
When the Cat King had said that something deep within Edwin was calling to him, he’d known exactly what that felt like, because it was right there at the core of his companion as well, and the string tying both their cores together appeared to be their loneliness. He wondered if the tie could be something else instead.
The memory of his first meeting with the Cat King amused him today, having more of an understanding of himself as well as of the Cat King. But he also remembered the tempting closeness and how it had slung itself around a part of Edwin that he had rigorously buried, bringing it to the surface and forcing him to face it.
It was that first meeting that had burned itself into his memory the most, followed closely by the last one. Reading the Cat King in the way he had, recognising a fellow lonely soul, kissing a soft cheek, and enjoying mutual banter… The Cat King had been right at the time.
“I really did miss you,” Edwin admitted after a long moment. His eyes wandered – not for the first time – to the lips in front of him, and he knew that they would be even softer than the cheek.
Those lips parted to say something, but since Edwin wasn’t at all sure he would be able hear what they had to say, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against the Cat King’s carefully but firmly.
It was a short kiss, and Edwin ended it with a tiny gasp, before he opened his eyes and noticed that the Cat King’s were still closed.
“How is it,” the Cat King murmured, finally opening his eyes as well, “that you manage to surprise me every single time we meet?” He looked enchanted, marvelling at his good fortune in form of this captivating ghost.
“Only fair,” Edwin quipped, smiling benignly. “You live to be surprising.”
The Cat King chuckled, then he leaned back in, sending Edwin a questing look. Edwin met him halfway, and they kissed again, more leisurely this time, learning the shape of each other’s lips. After a while, the Cat King moved from Edwin’s lips to his cheek and his neck, reminding Edwin of their first meeting again where the Cat King had been so very close, making him ache with the lack of proper touch. The touch was there this time.
“Cat King?”
“Thomas,” was the murmured answer against Edwin’s neck, followed by another savouring kiss to cool, ethereal skin.
“Thomas,” Edwin gasped and then gently pushed the man far enough away that they could look at each other.
“Seems more appropriate,” Thomas said.
Edwin couldn’t but agree. Studying the face in front of him, it was like looking at him in a whole new light. The beautiful face now had a name.
“I…” He knew what he wanted to say, but it was so far from what he had considered proper for most of his existence that he had a really hard time putting it into words.
“You don’t have to hide your wants from me,” Thomas said intimately, reading Edwin correctly, though he wasn’t quite sure what precisely Edwin was trying to say. “I’m a creature of pleasure, and I enjoy watching it blossom in your expression. Don’t hide it from me.”
“I am...” Edwin paused, mentally rephrased, and tried again. “I would like to… explore… options,” he settled on. “It’s just…”
“You have conditions?”
“Not conditions, per se. Two questions? Requests, maybe?”
Thomas smiled, acknowledging Edwin’s need to wrap his mind around things before he could act. He straightened formally, clasping his hands behind his back.
“You don’t think I’d deny you something that could get me what I want, and want badly, do you?”
Some of Edwin’s fluttery nerves bubbled out of him in a little laugh.
“That does not sound like you, no.”
Thomas tilted his head, prompting, and Edwin fidgeted again.
“Would that… time pocket or time warping you did when we first met work the other way around?”
Thomas had to think a moment to remember. Then he did.
“You mean, could you leave your office for an hour and stay with me for a week?” he asked suggestively.
Edwin nodded.
“Yes.”
Edwin relaxed a bit. “I don’t think I’d be ready to explain prolonged absences, and I do have a job and a supervisor.” He pulled a face at the last word.
Thomas grinned widely. “You’re planning to explore me thoroughly,” he noted.
Edwin licked his lips and primly tilted his head. “Well, since I’m going to all the trouble…”
Thomas bit his lips to keep himself from laughing out loud. “And what’s the other one?”
The ’other one’ was clearly the more uncomfortable one for Edwin to voice.
“It’s just that I would… ask for your patience.” He almost made it sound like a question.
Thomas relaxed immediately, breathed out, and laid two comforting hands on Edwin’s arms. He made sure to capture Edwin’s eyes with his, make his uncharacteristic seriousness known.
“I won’t take anything you are unwilling or not ready to give,” he repeated his earlier promise and then smirked a bit. “Consensual Cat King, remember?”
Edwin smiled back hesitatingly. “It’s more than that…”
Thomas’ teasing smirk softened. “You want me to show you,” he guessed, and Edwin’s breath caught before he gave the barest hint of a nod. Thomas chuckled. “You cannot even begin to imagine just how very much I’m going to enjoy this, and I can be very patient when the situation warrants it.”
“Playing with me like a cat with a mouse.”
“M-hm,” Thomas lowly hummed in agreement. “Except that the goal of this particular hunt will be that you enjoy everything as much as I do.”
He could clearly see the interest in Edwin’s eyes, but there was also understandably some trepidation, so he toned down the seduction a bit.
“Do you need some time to think about this?”
Edwin shook his head, decidedly without having to think about it.
“That would drive me to distraction. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything.” The Cat King had of course always been terribly distracting, from the moment they had met, and with such clear intent right in front of him, it was bound to only get worse.
“You seriously underestimate my ability to distract you once you know what we are capable of together.”
“No doubt,” Edwin agreed. “But this is a gap in information, and my mind won’t rest until it has something to fill it with.” The mere thought of having to wait for information made his skin crawl. “I don’t believe that the… unusual nature of the situation would be an exception to this.”
Thomas pondered that for a moment and then conceded the point with a tilt of his head. He held out a hand.
“I will return you to your doorstep, and no more than five minutes will have passed for everyone except us.”
Edwin eyed the hand. “And how long will we have?”
“As long as you want.”
Edwin took the hand, purple flames engulfed them, and they disappeared.
It wasn’t right on the doorstep of the Dead Boy Detective Agency that they reappeared the promised five minutes later, but just out of sight around the corner. They were wrapped in each other’s arms and kissing deeply.
“I will see you… very soon,” Thomas murmured warmly against Edwin’s lips.
Edwin just nodded and stole another lingering kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Thomas grinned. “There is absolutely no reason to thank me.”
“I’m feeling rather thankful anyway,” Edwin said, making Thomas laugh. He gave his new lover one more kiss, smiled at him, nodded once, and then made his way home.
Thomas stayed out of sight of the agency but waited until Edwin disappeared inside. Then he left to pop by that damned assembly once more. He’d made the mistake of mentioning what it was about to Edwin, and, of course, duteous Edwin had managed to put the notion in his head that, perhaps, his actual input might be beneficial. And he couldn’t exactly argue that point. He had knowledge and wisdom and suchlike galore, and now he also appeared to have a conscience whispering in his ear while in bed with him, and the whole thing was entirely unfair.
But he’d known about his susceptibility to Edwin’s charms before showing up in London, so it was his own fault, really.
Edwin stepped into the office, finding only Charles. “Is Crystal asleep?”
“Yep.” Charles paused whatever video was playing on Crystal’s laptop, nodded and looked up, smiling.
Edwin frowned at the electronic device.
“How you can make heads or tails of that blasted thing is a mystery to me.”
Charles smirked. “Just takes a bit of study,” he pointed out, laughing when Edwin sent him a haughty look.
“It’s a good thing we all have our strengths, then,” Edwin opined and removed coat and gloves.
Charles turned contemplative. “Seriously, though. You should have a basic understanding of these things. Just in case.”
Edwin huffed. “Is this another one of those issues like the hand-to-hand combat?”
“Which is also something we should revisit. And yes,” Charles added before Edwin could reply, “I know you don’t like new things, but you have to admit that technology and being able to defend yourself can be essential in our line of work.”
Edwin tilted his head. “Have you practised that speech?”
Charles grinned. “Maybe a bit.”
Edwin looked at him for a moment longer, marched over to the sofa, and let himself drop into it beside Charles.
“Fine. Show me your contraption.”
Charles blinked. “That was easy,” he noted, surprised.
Edwin raised an eyebrow. “I can always go back to my books…” He preferred not to question why he wasn’t quite as resistant to new things as he usually would have been. It wasn’t like the answer wasn’t obvious anyway.
“No,” Charles said, holding up his hands in surrender, and turned off the laptop. “We’re going to start from the top.”
Edwin sighed. It couldn’t be that bad to learn something, right? He liked learning things.
About half an hour later he had to admit that it absolutely could be and was that bad to learn something.
“I know it connects to the internet, Charles, but where is it coming from? You said it wasn’t the power cord.”
Charles shrugged. “It’s kind of like phones. You know, satellites and stuff.”
“I don’t know,” Edwin said, frustrated, then he huffed once and stood. “This is not the way for me to learn.” He gestured wildly at the laptop. “There must be books about that kind of thing, right?”
“I guess,” Charles admitted. “But that’s the thing, you could look all of that up on the internet in seconds-”
Edwin held up a hand to halt Charles’ argument. “I will not use that infernal machine if I don’t understand its workings.” He went to grab his coat. “But I take your point that I should understand it, so I’m going to the library.”
“Uh, mate, you should wait until the library opens and take a disguise. Otherwise, they’ll have floating books on their security cameras.”
Edwin made a disgusted sound. “Things used to be so much easier,” he complained and put away the coat again. “Fine. I’ll just resort to reading material that is currently available to me,” he sniped and turned on his heel to peruse his own collection.
Charles snickered. “It’s only a few hours, mate.”
“Yes, yes,” Edwin muttered, already disappearing behind a shelf. It was only once he was hidden from view that he let his thoughts wander.
He’d almost considered trying Thomas’ library but then had decided against it. He would have to explain were exactly he was going to Charles, and he was not ready to do that. Given Charles’ dislike of the Cat King, that would not be a pleasant conversation, no matter when it took place, but Edwin wanted to give himself the time to be more aware of what he was thinking and feeling on the matter, before he would have to stand there, defending his choices.
He’d actually stayed in Thomas’ time pocket in Port Townsend for almost a week, and a surprising amount of that time they’d been in the library. Well, after the initial and mutual and extensive discovering of bodies and what they could do with them. This had been a constant during the whole visit, but so had been the library.
Edwin almost dropped the book he was holding, as his hands went slack while his mind returned to Thomas’ bedroom. It really had accentuated their companionship in a very pleasant way, and he still marvelled at the discovery that Thomas could make his body sing, with the two of them maintaining their banter and laugher all the while. Then there was cuddling while reading, talking while sharing a book, kissing while learning new things from each other...
It wasn’t at all the kind of companionship he was used to, but it slotted them in place next to each other perfectly, as if there had never been a question that it would. It both surprised and didn’t surprise them. They couldn’t have explained their easy connection, but neither wanted to stop to question it. The easy connection that made their bodies move against each other-
Edwin’s book fell down.
He waited for a reaction from Charles, but all he could hear was the tinny sound from the laptop. He sighed and picked the book back up, smiling.
Thomas had been right of course that thoughts of him were still very distracting, but it was a very pleasant distraction for one, and for another, the distraction would have been worse and less pleasant were Edwin still in the situation where he didn’t know what possibilities lay ahead of him.
Not that there weren’t still many, many things he knew nothing about that were ripe for discovery (as a few of the many, many books in Thomas’ library had suggested), but knowing the feeling of another body entwined with his was inexplicably calming, as if the phantom touch of firm hands was still with him.
He caught the book before it could slip out of his hands again and hurried to his desk to put it down and minimise the risk of more inattentiveness or at least its consequences.
’I will see you very soon,’ Thomas had said.
Soon couldn’t come soon enough.
Thankfully, come morning, Edwin was distracted by a veritable barrage of cases.
Having dealt with six cases back to back – three of them being quite demanding – Edwin didn’t feel bad in the least to proclaim that he really needed some time to clear his head.
At first, doing the same had made him feel guilty, and it had cost some effort to overcome the feeling, but now, and even without the most recently added incentive, it came easy.
He left the office not with a particular destination in the city in mind but merely looking for the nearest mirror that he could hop into clandestinely.
He reappeared in Port Townsend right inside Thomas’ private rooms through a mirror that had been placed there just for him and would not allow for anyone else to use it as transport. Thomas had made sure of that, being a prolific user of magic himself.
Less than a minute later, purple flames announced the arrival of the King.
“Hello, darling,” Thomas greeted his guest.
Edwin breathed out in relief, only then noticing how on edge he’d been.
They were clearly both of the opinion that more words were not required for the time being and met in a deep kiss.
Thomas’ hands ran over Edwin’s back to his shoulders and neck.
“You seem tense,” he noted, stealing a softer kiss. “Are you alright?”
“Work was… taxing.” He tried to remember what he usually would have done after such periods of time, and he couldn’t help but find his old methods to be thoroughly unsatisfactory. It was interesting just how quickly he had adapted, but the warm and mischievous gleam in the golden eyes trained on him managed to be caring as well, and it was so easy to not question his acceptance.
“How about this,” Thomas suggested, kissing Edwin once and continuing, “I am going to take your mind off it, and once I have rendered you figuratively and literally boneless in my bed, you can tell me all about it.”
“Will you tell me about your assembly?”
Thomas groaned. “If I must,” he said long-sufferingly. But despite the tone of voice, it was clear that he didn’t mind at all sharing his everyday life with Edwin.
Edwin smiled and pulled him into another kiss, this one with decidedly more intent. Then he didn’t have to think for a long time.
Later, sated, comfortable, and as warm as Edwin was ever going to get, they talked between kisses and teasing touches.
“Well,” Thomas commented on something Edwin was recounting, “you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t such a boy scout.”
Edwin rested with his head high on Thomas’ chest, feeling the other’s lips against his forehead as he spoke.
“I suppose,” he admitted. “But it used to be easier to keep my distance. I feel like it is wearing on me, seeing the pain behind some of the cases so clearly.”
Thomas framed Edwin’s face and manoeuvred himself down a little, so they could look at each other.
“I believe you are underestimating how much it was wearing on you to keep your distance, to ignore what the things around you made you feel.” When Edwin lowered his gaze, Thomas tilted his face up again with a gentle finger to his chin. “I know you. Things matter to you. And I am convinced that broadening your horizons, so to speak, will make you a better detective once you get used to it.”
Edwin weighed the information against his worries.
“It could certainly help understanding motivation,” he finally allowed.
Thomas smiled benignly. “There is that, yes.” His smile suggested that there was more, but it didn’t matter so much right that moment. He leaned in for a kiss. “I’ll gladly introduce you to more motivations.”
Edwin’s worries evaporated for the time being and turned into a grin.
“That is very generous of you.”
They were sufficiently distracted again after that, but they later returned to Thomas giving his input on the matter of Edwin’s cases, and Edwin listening attentively when he was being explained the (tedious, as Thomas insisted) political minutiae of a Cat King and other such (self-important) spirits who wanted to make their (utterly redundant) opinions known.
Edwin was shaking next to him in silent laughter.
It was deeply comfortable, but, Edwin, being Edwin, soon got restless and insisted on more time in the library.
Thomas didn’t mind. Seeing Edwin so at ease in his realm, his home, did all sorts of funny things to his insides.
Then there was the privilege to observe an excited Edwin who discovered something new and fascinating (be that in the library or in bed), and it reminded Thomas of himself, back when his curiosity was boundless and unimpeded by fear of consequences, a long time ago.
Edwin made him want to be curious again.
And so they learned together.
It was perhaps four months later (and about twice as long, if one counted the additional time they had spent in their own little time bubble) when Thomas was the one to stumble over something in his library that reminded him of something else Edwin had once mentioned in passing, and that had him become the researcher for a change, seven tomes in.
That was where Edwin found him. He was peeking around the corner seeing Thomas bent over the reading desk, clearly deep in thought.
“Hello, Thomas.”
Hearing the voice, Thomas immediately perked up, smiling.
“What a balm to hear your dulcet tones,” he teased, got up and walked within kissing range.
After the kiss hello, Edwin’s curious side was clearly the frontrunner of all the many aspects of his personality.
“What were you doing?”
Thomas sighed. “I’m predicting an entirely scholastic visit, sadly.” He wasn’t entirely serious and not entirely not serious. He knew well that what he’d found had the potential to make Edwin truly happy (if it didn’t crash and burn horribly), on the other hand, no sex was always a tragedy in his opinion.
“Just to make sure I got all the details right…”
Edwin frowned but nodded for Thomas to continue.
“Your friend, Niko, was possessed by parasitic dandelion sprites that you somehow managed to coax out and trap in a magic jar. Right so far?”
Edwin’s breathing sped up. “You found out something about Niko,” he breathed.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I just realised some things that don’t make any sense and investigated a little.” He smirked. “You’ll be pleased to hear that I have some investigative instincts as well.” Edwin didn’t react to that and was well on his was to become a nervous wreck, the longer it took.
Thomas sighed. “When Niko died, you said the sprites disappeared from the jar she’d left behind in her room. Correct?”
Edwin nodded.
“Good, because that makes no goddamn sense. Niko was no longer their host, and they were trapped with magic. There is no reason whatsoever that they should have vanished with her death.”
“Are you…” Edwin started with a small voice, “… saying Niko’s alive?”
“No,” Thomas said gently. “But I’m saying that she probably didn’t move into the expected state of being and instead went exactly where those sprites are. Only, the earlier possession wouldn’t tie them together like that, it has to be something else.” He gestured at the pile of books. “That’s where I’ve arrived at.”
Edwin was already deep in thought, mental gears turning at high speed.
“She wasn’t a magic user herself,” Thomas added, “so she must have carried something magical instead.”
“The talisman,” Edwin said immediately.
“What?”
Edwin let the horrible moments pass before his eyes. “I got off the machine,” he started, “ran over to her, only to find her already dead.” His throat moved emptily, and he closed his eyes. “She was holding something in her hand. Something dark. Some kind of figurine.” He opened his eyes again.
“Not that many places around here to get a magical trinket…”
“They probably went to Mick’s to get the black salt.”
“Wait, they actually got it?” Thomas burst out. “For fuck’s sake! That was a joke!”
Edwin smirked a bit. “Crystal is studying magical theory, these days.”
“Good,” Thomas snapped and then rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Right.” He held out a hand. “We can get back to the books later. First on the agenda is a visit to Tragic Mick’s. We have to know what we’re researching.”
Edwin hesitated.
“Not quite what you had in mind when you came here?” Thomas quipped, smiling benignly. “You’re kidding yourself if you think you wouldn’t be distracted, and no lover of mine is going to be distracted during sex, that would just be insulting.”
“You have such a way with words,” Edwin said, deadpan.
“And please don’t insult me by insinuating that I’d rather fuck than help you find your friend. Granted, there aren’t very many things I’d rather do than have sex, but – curse my romantic heart – making you happy is one of them.
“So,” he said and held out his hand again. “Let’s go. You’re just going to have to keep track of the time while we’re out.”
Edwin took the hand, and within the blink of an eye, they found themselves right in the middle of Tragic Mick’s shop.
“Can’t you come through the door like a normal person?” the gruff voice greeted them.
Thomas grinned at him. “You know as well as I do that you don’t get that many normal people in here. Anyway, we’re in a hurry.” He gestured Edwin to step forward.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Mick noted.
“I’m visiting,” Edwin said non-committally.
“Uh-huh,” Mick made, wordlessly implying that he knew exactly what sort of visits Edwin entertained with the Cat King.
“Be that as it may,” Edwin insisted, ignoring the meaningful sound. “A few months ago, two of my friends came here, and you gave them black salt. Did you give them anything else?”
“A gift,” Mick said. “Because you never know when the good you do may come back around.”
“I’ve heard this before,” Edwin said, trying to remember where it had been.
“It’s a very old blessing. A way to say thank you.”
“And were you thanking her?”
“Ayup. Lovely girl, that one.
Thomas stepped forward again. “What about the talisman? Is it tied to the blessing?”
“Ayup. The bear works according to the place it’s used in and only reacts to a debt of gratitude owed.” His eyes wandered to Edwin. “I bet His Majesty here knows the meaning of a bear spirit ‘round these parts.”
“Rebirth and protection,” Thomas said immediately.
Edwin slowly became frantic. “Thomas…”
“Don’t jump to conclusions. Let’s get back to the library.”
Edwin nodded jerkily, but he took Thomas’ hand. They disappeared without so much as a goodbye, leaving Mick to grumble about damn youngsters with no manners or patience.
The moment they were in the library, Edwin pulled his hand back again.
“Niko’s a dandelion sprite?”
“I don’t think so,” Thomas tried to calm Edwin’s fray nerves. “It depends on what reason they had to be thankful to her.”
“Well,” Edwin tried to gather his thoughts. “Charles and Crystal and I wanted to get rid of them before they could do more damage.”
“And your brave friend had other ideas,” Thomas guessed.
Edwin nodded. “Niko wanted them to stay in her room and thought she maybe could convince them to not hurt people anymore.”
Thomas made a dubious face.
“Exactly!” Edwin agreed. “It was an absurd notion, and they were insulting and generally unpleasant every chance they got. Niko was just… too good not to try.”
“I read up on dandelion sprites,” Thomas added. “Extensively, and they are created from the plant, never from other creatures and definitely not from a human. A protection or resurrection spell shouldn’t change that.”
“So, what could she be?”
Thomas thought about that. “Probably some related type of sprite, but I’ve found very little on other options. I’m still convinced that she’s with them, or she was after she died at least.”
“Do you think she’d try to get back to us?”
“If she can, though I’d bet her movement is extremely limited. The other two were trapped, after all,” Thomas said carefully. “Maybe she’d wait where she thinks you can find her.”
Edwin thought fast. “Not above the butcher shop where we met, or we’d have seen her.” The other possible location – provided of course that Thomas’ theory was right – was…
“Where she found the sprites. In the forest.”
“Forest?” Thomas complained. “She couldn’t have found the little bastards in a meadow or something?”
Edwin’s anxiety left enough room to grin at Thomas a bit. “I’ll make sure the nasty trees don’t ruin your outfit.”
Thomas pointed at him. “Oh, you’re very funny,” he said, not sounding like he found it funny in the least. “How come you don’t hate forests? A mushroom almost ate you!”
Edwin just smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “I promise I won’t snap at you in this forest.” He smirked.
Thomas rolled his eyes but had to smile a little too. “I promise the same then. Also, that time, you were hurt and confused and afraid, and I probably shouldn’t have opened my big mouth about second kisses. So.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry.”
Edwin still smiled. “And you were right that you were owed a thank you. Anyway, you did get my second kiss eventually.” He gave Thomas another kiss, thought he really couldn’t have said how many it had been by then.
“Can you get us there?” he asked once the kiss ended.
“Unfortunately, I can’t take you to a place I don’t know. I can get us close-ish, but from there, it’s the old-fashioned way, I’m afraid.”
With a burst of magic, they appeared at the edge of the forest in question, and Edwin led them down the familiar path.
“You don’t have to come with me, you know,” Edwin eventually said.
Thomas snorted. “Like I don’t want to be there if you actually find something. Then I can write annotations in those ancient textbooks and prove to the know-it-alls that they don’t actually know it all.” He grinned.
Edwin didn’t know if he should be outraged or amused. “Thomas, those books are priceless!”
“Inaccurate is what they are.”
Edwin couldn’t help it; he had to laugh. “I suppose any book could only be improved with annotations by His Majesty the Cat King.”
“Oh, you know how to make a guy feel special.”
Edwin grinned and took Thomas’ hand, holding it lightly.
When they got closer to the shrine that had been there the last time, Edwin could tell right away that something had been changed.
He remembered vividly that Charles had broken the vase, and yet, something was clearly visible below the shrine. It also caught the light, so it appeared to be made out of glass. The closer they got, the more details Edwin could make out. It was a bit bigger than the jar they had used to trap the sprites in, and there was something else…
“What is that?” Thomas asked.
“It definitely wasn’t here last time,” Edwin voiced his previous thoughts. He kneeled down in front of it and took a closer look.
“It appears to be some kind of… snow globe. With a screw top.”
“What?” Thomas said incredulously and crouched down next to Edwin. “Huh,” he made when he saw the igloo inside the jar.
“Should we… shake it?”
Edwin gasped and leaned even closer when he detected some movement.
“Niko!”
A tiny Niko wearing very warm clothes and a giant hood was crawling out of the igloo and quickly got up. “Edwin!” she called back and ran up to the glass. “I knew you’d find us!”
Edwin put both his hands on the snow globe but didn’t dare move it. Before he could express his joy past the happy tightness in his throat, another tiny voice piped up.
“About damn time,” complained Litty, who crawled out after Niko and was then joined by Kingham.
“Didn’t you find your way out of that paper bag you should be wearing to hide your ugly mug?” Kingham added helpfully.
“Whoa!” was Litty’s next comment once she got a good look at Edwin. “That boy got deflowered good.”
It was fortunate that Edwin hadn’t picked up the snow globe, as he definitely would have dropped it at that point.
“That took him long enough too,” Kingham agreed. “I mean, nobody would have gone for his scrawny ass while he was alive.”
“And still all he could score was an alley cat.”
Thomas was way too amused to be insulted, so he just said, “You described their personalities to a T,” he said in mock seriousness.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?” Litty demanded to know.
Niko listened to all of that with wide eyes. “I did not see that coming,” she finally managed to say, staring at Edwin.
“That’s okay,” Kingham said.
“Yeah, you don’t have to be the brightest snowflake in the snow globe.”
“You weren’t the brightest outside either.”
Kingham and Litty nodded at each other, happy with their assessment.
Edwin blinked rapidly to shake off the buzzing thoughts and resolutely ignored the ‘irritants’ that they clearly still were. He gingerly lifted the snow globe, careful not to jostle it.
“Can we get you out of there?”
Niko eyed her two (equally) small companions. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to open the glass.”
“Okay, buttercup,” Litty complained. “That’s just insulting.”
“After all we’ve done for you,” Kingham agreed.
Niko huffed, put her hands on her hips, and faced the two.
“How can I be sure that you won’t start exploding people again as soon as you’re out?”
Kingham waved his hands. “I’m sure one of those two idiots out there can tell you that that’s not how this kind of magical transfer works.”
Edwin considered that. “That would depend on the transfer.”
“Not so smart anymore, all of the sudden, are you?” Litty said meanly, making Edwin roll his eyes.
“She’s a nightshade sprite,” Thomas said, clearly showing off, now that he had some more information about what was going on.
“Oh, wow,” Kingham said. “That was almost impressive.”
“Yeah, if it hadn’t taken you centuries to acquire the most basic of knowledge.”
Edwin looked at Thomas. “Isn’t nightshade usually associated with death?”
Thomas waggled his head from side to side.
“Eh. More like transformation, growth, transition, rebirth. That kind of thing.”
“Isn’t it cute how he’s trying to impress his boyfriend?” Litty said sarcastically.
“And by cute she means pathetic,” Kingham elaborated. “Come on, dumbass, tell them,” he demanded of Thomas.
Thomas snorted. “While I can’t say that it’s the smart thing to do to let those two assholes out of their cage, it’s probably safe.” Given the looks Edwin and Niko gave him, that didn’t appear to be enough.
“The transformation was triggered by the talisman, but it was channelled through those two. They were definitely affected, and given the general goodness of young Niko and the talisman being one of protection, I doubt they’ll be physically able of hurting anyone.”
“I did that?” Niko asked her two companions in awe.
“Yeah, don’t get too excited,” Kingham said.
“It’s not like you actually knew what the hell you were doing.”
Niko smiled anyway, then she frowned. “How are you going to feed, then?”
“Not what you’ve been feeding us, that’s for damn sure,” Litty stated.
“Except for those little kibbles. Remember those little kibbles?”
“Oh, yeah. So, maybe kibbles, and it’s not like it’s hard to get attention.”
Kingham nodded. “And, I guess, we don’t have to kill the host,” he said long-sufferingly.
“But only because we don’t want to.”
“Yeah, not because of some little baby nightshade sprite.”
“Definitely not,” Litty agreed and pointed at Thomas. “You could ask that attention whore all about it.
Thomas rolled his eyes, reached over, unscrewed the top of the pot, and was immediately hurled back a few metres along with Edwin, distorted laughter in the air.
“What did you do?” Edwin burst out.
Thomas groaned and sat back up. “Relax. They’re annoying, not dangerous.”
Edwin was already crawling closer to the shrine again and found Niko among the debris of the completely destroyed snow globe. Without the puffy clothes and the hood, he could now see the changes clearly.
Niko’s hair was black once more, and her clothes were a combination of black and purple.
Edwin gently picked her up with his hands.
Niko looked down at herself. “Bold colour choices,” she commented on her new look.
Edwin laughed a teary laugh. He tried to find the right words, but none would come.
Thomas strolled over casually. “You know she doesn’t have to be that size, right?”
“What?” Edwin asked.
“I don’t?”
Thomas crouched down next to them. “You’re new at this, but your form is really only an image, and I think Edwin needs a hug.” He nodded at Edwin. “You should put her down for a moment.”
Edwin hesitantly did, and Niko expectantly looked at Thomas.
Thomas held up an index finger, and a tiny purple flame danced at the tip. Slowly, he brought it closer to Niko, pointing at her chest.
“Feel that?”
“Yeah…” Niko breathed, enchanted. “So, that’s what this is…” She closed her eyes, focussed, and then made a sound as if she had taken a terrible stumble. The next thing she knew, she was in Edwin’s arms that could now engulf her properly.
Edwin neither noticed nor cared that he was crying into her shoulder.
Thomas grinned, self-satisfied and sat down properly.
“I guess this is what you guys call a job officially jobbed.”
Edwin turned his head to look at his lover with tear-streaked eyes.
“Thank you,” he said wholeheartedly. He felt himself nearly burst with emotions and didn’t know what to do with them, so he allowed for one hand to let go of Niko to pull Thomas into a kiss. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re more than welcome,” Thomas said softly.
Niko giggled. “Some things have changed while I was away.”
Edwin bit his lips and blushed.
Thomas just grinned at her. “I’m very hard to resist.”
Niko smirked at him shrewdly. “And, clearly, so is Edwin.”
Thomas laughed, then nodded. “He has me wrapped around his little finger,” he admitted.
Niko studied Edwin who was practically beaming at Thomas.
“It’s good to see you so happy,” she said. When he returned her look, she added, “You’ll have to tell me all about it.”
Edwin had a hesitant look on his face at that prospect.
“You should talk to someone,” Thomas said, “and it’s still not going to be the other two, so…”
Edwin’s head drooped a bit, resigned.
“Charles still can’t walk past a cat without making some kind of comment,” he said bitterly.
“You should tell him you don’t like it,” Niko said matter-of-factly.
Edwin was really glad that he was surrounded by people he cared about, but he still didn’t know how he should or could handle this situation. He knew what he wanted, but he didn’t know how to communicate that to Charles, and even a hint of the topic made him shirk away.
“Edwin…” Thomas started carefully. “Charles is hurting you with the things he says. How do you think he would feel if he knew that?”
“He would never-”
“I know,” Thomas said. “But he doesn’t know he’s doing it.”
“Just tell him you like cats,” Niko suggested.
“And, when you’re ready,” Thomas added, “tell him about our last meeting before you guys left Port Townsend. That’s neutral enough, right?”
Edwin smiled at him thankfully, then his expression fell.
“I don’t mean to keep you a secret, it’s just…” He didn’t really know what it was ‘just’. He only knew that it was something.
“It’s not me you’re keeping a secret, Edwin. It’s the part of you you’re sharing with me.”
Edwin nodded. “But Charles still hates you,” he said unhappily.
Thomas tilted his head, turning over those words in his mind.
“You do know that it’s me he hates and never you, right? Not even a little part of you.”
Edwin smiled thankfully. “I just… I care about you very much, and it hurts to hear the things he says.”
“So, tell him to cut the crap,” Thomas demanded. “He’s probably only saying it because he thinks you agree.”
Edwin breathed out. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”
“And now you have someone else to talk to,” Thomas added, nodding at Niko. “And you’ll keep his secret, won’t you, little nightshade?”
“I’m not good with secrets,” Niko noted honestly and turned to look at Edwin, “but I wouldn’t betray your trust.”
Thomas was chasing a different thought that had just occurred to him.
“Since I know what you’re like when you admit something to yourself,” he said to Edwin, “and I believe this is the first time that you even mentioned being unhappy with what Charles is saying, you should take care that you don’t burst out that you’re sleeping with me when you’re angry at him. You don’t want to tell him like that.”
Edwin mulled that over and came to the conclusion that Thomas probably had a point. He nodded.
Niko tilted her head at Thomas. “You’re awfully considerate for a cat spirit.”
Thomas grinned. “Not exactly a cat spirit,” he said enigmatically.
Edwin rolled his eyes, amused. “He hasn’t even told me yet what he is.”
“Yours of course,” Thomas replied immediately, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Entirely yours.”
When Edwin returned home with Niko in tow, both Charles and Crystal were far too happy to question what Edwin had done, why he had gone alone, and how he’d known where to look, much to Edwin’s relief.
There was time still for other things.
The following months were comfortable. No, more than that, they were downright perfect, Edwin thought. He had everything: his friends, his cases, his beautiful secret, and his two lives aligned so neatly, he barely ever thought of them as two lives anymore. Even Charles hardly made any cat-related comments anymore; in fact, he didn’t appear to notice cats at all.
The downside of feeling like there was no need to face certain things was that one didn’t, in fact, face said certain things.
The four friends were in high spirits, having just closed a case with only minimal tragic backstory.
Edwin was still grinning when he suddenly felt something pull at his left sleeve. When he turned to look, he noticed a small cat climb up his arm, go around the back of his neck and kind of awkwardly hang over his right shoulder, but since it was a cat, it didn’t look awkward.
“Oh,” he said, startled but smiling, “hello, you.”
The cat just blinked at him, quite happy in its position.
“Oi, cat!” Charles call from behind Edwin. “Piss off!”
One of Edwin’s hand instinctively went to the cat, holding it securely.
“Charles! There’s no need for that.”
Charles’ expression went through a disconcerting transformation, and he held up his hands, calming his voice.
“Look. Why don’t you let the girls handle the cat, yeah? You don’t need the reminder.”
Edwin frowned, not comprehending. “What on earth are you on about?”
Charles fidgeted. “You think I didn’t notice how you clam up every time I complain about a cat?”
Edwin still didn’t understand what Charles was implying.
“Because I am actually quite fond of cats, and I don’t like you speaking ill of them.”
“Oh, yeah? What about the Cat King, then?” He pointed at Edwin. “See? The moment I mention that wanker, your whole body language changes, so don’t pretend that there’s nothing.”
“Not a smart one, is he?” the cat opined from Edwin’s shoulder.
“Hush, you,” Edwin admonished it, and then it clicked. He stared at Charles, downright gobsmacked. “Do you think I’m… traumatised?” he asked incredulously. “By the Cat King?”
“What else am I supposed to think?!”
Thankfully, Edwin remembered Thomas’ words about not disclosing secrets while upset. Charles’ behaviour made so much more sense, all of the sudden. Edwin felt like an idiot.
“Charles, he didn’t do anything to me,” he said as steadily as he was able. “He was perhaps a bit overtly flirtatious, but that was it. In fact,” he added after remembering something else Thomas had said, “before we all left Port Townsend, he came to say goodbye to me, and we parted on good terms.”
Niko loyally stepped forward. “And he did give us the information we needed, right, Crystal?”
“Well, he was a bit of a prick, but I didn’t get the impression that he was actually dangerous to Edwin,” Crystal agreed.
“Oh!” Niko remembered something else, “and didn’t he admit to us that he cared about Edwin? He did, didn’t he?”
Crystal snorted. “Yeah, if you want to count that, which I’m not sure I would.”
Edwin gradually relaxed, but Charles still looked unconvinced and very uncomfortable.
“Charles,” Edwin said firmly but warmly and took a step towards his best friend. “I harbour no ill will towards the Cat King, and there is no reason for you to… shield me from any mention of him.”
Charles bit his lips. “From the day we met him, you were weird about him,” he insisted.
“Well, I was not used to being flirted with, never mind so shamelessly.” That was only partially true. What had truly disconcerted him were his own reactions that had taken longer for him to understand. They would have also taken longer to explain now.
“So he did make you uncomfortable,” Charles pointed out.
“Charles, that’s not exactly a capital offence,” Edwin returned reasonably. “What bothered me later was how angry you were at him. How you hated someone I never hated at all, and it was still because of me.” He swallowed. “When you stopped your comments, I thought it was because that anger had finally subsided, while in reality…” He took a deep breath. “It got worse.” He steadily watched Charles. “I’m sorry for not clearing this up sooner.”
“You promise?” Charles pressed. “You promise he didn’t do anything to hurt you?”
Edwin sighed. “He didn’t do anything to hurt me,” Edwin confirmed. “And when he came to say goodbye back then, he gave me a lily for Niko. It was actually quite sweet.”
Charles frowned at him. “You said you got that.”
Edwin smiled benignly. “I did. I got it from him.” He cleared his throat. “And I didn’t mention him then for the same reason I’ve never mentioned him since.”
Charles nodded, clearly annoyed at himself. “Because I hit the roof whenever he was.”
“Yes,” Edwin confirmed.
Charles rubbed his eyes before they fell on the cat. “And what do you want, then?”
“Nothing,” the cat said innocently. “Just saying hello to your friend here. He’s interesting.” With one last look at Edwin, it hopped off the shoulder and trotted off.
Edwin looked after it with a little frown on his face.
“Maybe Edwin’s like catnip,” Crystal piped up. “Would explain why they’re all after him. You know, small ones, big ones…”
Edwin sent her an appropriately catty look, making her snicker. Absently, he rubbed his left wrist and then quickly stopped once he noticed he was doing it.
Much later, as Edwin lay in bed with his lover, the two of them perused the golden bracelet adorning Edwin’s left (not his right, this time) wrist.
“Apparently, hiding it from sight wasn’t enough to hide it entirely from the perception of cats,” Thomas noted, then he hesitated. “Would you like to only wear it here?”
“No,” Edwin said quickly. “No, now that I know what could happen, it’s fine.” He let himself melt deeper into the embrace.
“What confuses me is that the cat clearly knew something. About us.” He frowned a bit. “Do you think that’s possible?”
“Well, cats can be incurable gossips,” Thomas said, amused.
“But how would the gossip even cross the Atlantic? Specifically to London.”
Thomas returned Edwin’s look for a long time. It was clear that he knew the answer, but it was just as clear that this might venture into territory he’d rather not touch.
“Cats can traverse dreams,” he finally said. “No boundaries in dreams.”
“That’s interesting,” Edwin said, clearly intrigued. “I knew there was a connection between cats and death, but I’d never heard about dreams before…”
“There’s this being,” Thomas started haltingly, “the cat of dreams, or only ’Dream’ for everyone else.”
“Dream of the Endless?” Edwin latched on immediately, intrigued.
That stopped Thomas in his tracks. “You know about the Endless?”
Edwin sent him a pointed look. “Well, Charles and I were running from Death for a long time, it seemed prudent to at least try and learn all I could.”
Thomas smiled almost sadly. “Of course you did.” Then he shook himself out of his thoughts. “You probably also met Destiny, or at least someone in Destiny’s employ.”
Edwin predictably lit up. “Really?”
Thomas’s smile widened. “You think it was a coincidence that you got a flyer of a missing girl in the United States at the exact moment you found a medium who could read said flyer and tell you about the supernatural shenanigans going on?”
Edwin blinked. “That does sound somewhat unlikely.” Then he smirked a bit. “You think Destiny brought me to you?”
Thomas grinned back. “No, Destiny brought you to Port Townsend. Your naughty actions brought you to me.”
Edwin huffed a laugh and kissed Thomas lightly. Then he remembered something.
“Oh, and I met Despair once,” he said, not sounding at all as grave as the claim would have warranted. “Or, I suppose she was around a lot longer. She only introduced herself that one time.”
Thomas just stared. “What?”
Edwin blinked, taken aback. “In hell. The last time I was there. I mean, I wasn’t there for long, but she introduced herself to me. She said we were friends.” He pulled a face. “I’m not sure what I should make of that.” When Thomas started to tremble, his eyes widened.
“Love, what is it?”
“That was after, right? After you met me?”
Edwin nodded.
Thomas disentangled himself, shoved off the blanket, and stood. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he quickly said at Edwin’s crestfallen expression. “I just need to move.” So he almost frantically walked back and forth in front of the bed, while Edwin sat up and watched him worriedly.
After a long and tense moment, Thomas stood still, but he didn’t return Edwin’s anxious look. He took a fortifying breath.
“I was born human,” he said. “At least I think so. I don’t really remember. Then I was made… remade into a Cat King… by an Endless.” He finally looked at Edwin. “Despair’s twin.”
Edwin mentally ran through all the information he had on the Endless. He hadn’t been aware of any of them being twins. Still…
“Desire,” he said.
Thomas nodded.
Entirely without Edwin’s input, his eyes wandered over the naked form of his lover, standing there, unselfconscious. Despite the situation, he had to bite back a teasing smile.
“Bit on the nose, don’t you think?”
All of Thomas’ thoughts came to a screeching halt.
“Oh. My. God,” he burst out, his arms flailing. “I cannot- Are you fucking serious, right now?”
Edwin could no longer hold back his laughter. All the tension that had been in the room just gushed out of him.
“I’m sorry,” he said more or less coherently, trying to pull himself together. “I know this is serious, it’s just…” With one last chuckle he calmed down and returned Thomas’ look fondly.
“Of course you’re a child of Desire. Figuratively and, apparently, literally.”
Thomas snorted and put his hands on his hips trying to look stern, which was at least a little ruined by the fact that he was stark naked.
“Let’s not get into how obvious your surname is then, ’friend of Despair’,” he said pointedly.
Edwin smiled, then smirked a bit. “She did say that my name was pretty.”
“Oh, god,” Thomas groaned. He pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand and held up a warning finger with the other.
“All this aside, the Endless are dangerous. Every last one of them,” he said seriously. “Please, keep that in mind.”
Edwin nodded. “I will,” he promised.
“Do you think,” he continued haltingly, turning serious, “that this is what pulled you to me, and me to you?”
Thomas considered that some more (because the thought had already occurred to him, of course; he just didn’t know if he liked it). Slowly he returned to the bed, sat down facing Edwin, and took his hand.
“It’s probably that unnamed thing inside you I could feel. Desire and despair always call to each other.” He huffed. “It’s also probably the reason you responded to your desire for me much more easily and quickly than I would have expected.” He raised an eyebrow, making Edwin bite his lip to hide a sheepish smile.
“I suppose that neither works well without the other,” Edwin reasoned.
“And neither one of us was only the one thing either.”
“No,” Edwin agreed, smiling. He reached to cup Thomas’ face and kissed him softly. “You’re a tricky fellow, but not cruel. Desire without despair would make you cruel, because you cannot see the hurt you cause while only ever taking what you want, not caring what it is that anyone else might want.” He held Thomas’ eyes with his. “And despair without desire will only ever allow you to try and avoid the pain, never knowing what you want, what could fulfil you, because you don’t dare to look for it, which carries its own kind of cruelty.”
“You’re a wise man,” Thomas said quietly, seriously.
Edwin slightly tilted his head in thanks. “A year ago, I wouldn’t have understood any of that.”
Thomas smiled. He didn’t say, ’You’re not the only one’. Edwin could read it in his face.
“But it’s more than that,” Edwin said, feeling like there had been a serious omission. “More than desire and despair and perhaps being pulled towards one another.” He licked his lips. “I need you to know that.”
“Of course I know that,” Thomas whispered.
“I love you,” Edwin said courageously, then he smiled happily. “All those tricky facets of you. Your appealing appearance. Your beautiful heart.”
Thomas soaked up the words like dry soil in the rain.
“I love you too. Desperately,” he added the word sheepishly after a moment, gently took a hold of Edwin’s head and brought their foreheads together. “It’s terrifying.”
“I wouldn’t worry,” Edwin said, kissing Thomas’ forehead. “Because, in terms of…” he tried to think of the right word and waved a vague hand, “providence, I guess, and in terms of personality,” he made sure that Thomas returned his look and understood what he was saying, “we’re much better off together.” He tilted his head haughtily. “And I’m told I can be very stubborn. No one is going to take you away from me.”
“Yeah, I’d put up more of a fight than last time too,” Thomas agreed self-deprecatingly.
Edwin sighed, lovingly and yet a bit put out. “Do you still blame yourself for that? You were frightened, and rightfully so-”
“I was a coward,” Thomas snapped. “And I was the one who put that insane idea in her head in the first place.”
“You weren’t to know,” Edwin replied calmly. “You tried to deter her, not encourage her.” He sighed when he could still see he pain in his lover’s face and framed it. “There was never anything to forgive, and I forgave you anyway, if you remember.” He smiled. “I believe it’s time now that you forgive yourself.”
Thomas smiled. “You make me want to.”
Edwin beamed at him. He knew his lover well by now, and these words meant the world to him. They kissed, because it was the only thing left to be said, until Edwin remembered something else worth mentioning. He held up his left wrist.
“I think it’s also time for you to no longer conceal this.”
A shiver ran through Thomas. He opened his mouth to say that Edwin didn’t have to do this if he wasn’t ready, that he knew the trepidation of their twosome world opening its boundaries, that he understood all the many emotions that came with such a decision for Edwin. In the end, he didn’t say any of those things, he just took Edwin’s left hand and kissed it lingeringly.
“Alright.”
Of course, even all of that determination couldn’t entirely battle the trepidation, and by the time Edwin returned home, he was a ball of (resolute) nerves.
Thomas had returned him to the front door, so Edwin entered the office the traditional way through the door (except that he didn’t have to open it).
The other three were gathered around the desk, and Charles was gesturing enthusiastically.
“No, no. This is the Master Detective edition. It has twelve rooms.”
Now Edwin could see the Cluedo board that was set up.
Niko was leafing through the instructions. “And ten characters,” she added.
Crystal groaned. “I’m going to fail so hard at this.”
“Come on,” Charles urged cheerfully. “It’ll be fun. Hullo, Edwin.”
“Hey, Edwin.” – “Hey.”
“Hello,” Edwin greeted them back. He took a calming breath and couldn’t really hear what the others were talking about anymore. He removed his gloves and his coat, and he was terrifyingly aware that his bracelet was now clearly visible. He put the gloves into the coat’s pocket and put away the coat.
The chatter had stopped completely.
Again, Edwin tried to focus on his breathing.
“Niko,” he started and then forced himself to face her. “I would like to speak with Charles privately. Could you, perhaps, take Crystal for a walk? And… explain things to her?”
Niko was gaping at him.
“Please?” he added in a small voice.
That shook her out of her stupor. “Yeah, sure, no problem.” She stood, and Crystal stood with her. “Right, Crystal?”
“Right, sure. Let me just…” She quickly went to get her jacket. When they passed by Edwin, she leaned close for a second and whispered: “It’ll be okay.”
Edwin nodded, if jerkily. When the door closed behind him, he flinched.
It was an unusual set-up to be facing Charles who was still sat behind the desk, with Edwin standing in front of it. Hesitantly, he approached one of the chairs to the sides of the desk that the girls had occupied before and sat down, his hands clasped in his lap.
Charles put his elbows on the desk and rubbed his face with both hands.
“Oh, boy,” he said through his fingers before dropping his hands and leaning back.
Edwin huffed a laugh. “Quite.”
“Uh,” Charles made, not sure how to have that conversation. “Niko knew?” was what he settled for.
Edwin nodded. “Thomas was the one who-” He interrupted himself, realising that this was the first time Charles heard that name. He peeked up and saw Charles rub the bridge of his nose, mumbling, “Thomas,” and shaking his head.
Edwin pulled himself together and stared ahead again. “Thomas was the one who realised that something was amiss with Niko’s death. We found her together.”
Charles pursed his lips and nodded, not looking at Edwin either.
“It started before that, then.”
Edwin nodded. “Quite a bit before that,” he admitted. “And even longer for him and me, because we,” he cleared his throat, “spent quite a lot of time in a time pocket.”
“So, when you went for a ’walk’,” he made the air quotes to go with it, “you basically went on a holiday to Thomas’ bed.”
Edwin flinched but supposed that he deserved that. “Rude,” he said primly, “but not entirely inaccurate.”
Charles snorted a laugh and finally looked at Edwin. “Not entirely?”
Edwin peeked up again, suppressing the relieved smile that wanted to escape when he heard Charles laugh.
“Well, we weren’t in bed all the time.”
Somehow, that struck Charles as even funnier, and he laughed outright. He turned more serious again after a moment, but the smile remained.
“So, how long then? Since we got back from Port Townsend?” He frowned a bit at that.
Edwin shook his head. “No. I did actually go on walks at first, just like I said,” he felt the need to point out. “I believe it was the fifth time that he showed up to say hello.”
“And then what? You decided that going on dates with the Cat King was a good idea?”
Edwin’s eyes wandered to the side again. “This is really hard to put into words,” he said softly. “We just, kind of, we just clicked.” He rolled those words around in his head. “Probably almost from the beginning; only, at first, I really didn’t know what to do with my reactions to him.”
“Yeah, I know what kind of reactions he was going for,” Charles grumbled, warming up to the topic, now that he was reminded of their stay in Port Townsend. “But that can’t have been all. I mean, you’re not exactly the type to just jump into bed-” He froze when he saw Edwin’s pinched expression.
“Bloody hell. You did!”
“Yes,” Edwin said quickly, “but that wasn’t all it was. Of course it wasn’t.” He held Charles’ gaze with his. “Being with him… It has been a wonderful experience, and as I got to know him better, it just kept feeling more right.” His pleading eyes begged Charles to understand.
Charles did understand; it would have been hard to miss what Edwin was trying to say.
“You love him.” It was not a question.
Edwin swallowed. “Very much so.”
Charles crossed his arms. “Well, I’d comment on your questionable taste in men, but…” He left the sentence hanging, amusement returning to his expression.
Edwin huffed a relieved and breathy laugh, then he caught himself and latched onto the spirit of the discussion Charles was directing them towards.
“No, by all means. Go on.”
Charles snickered, and after a moment of grinning at each other, he sobered a bit.
“I… kind of need to meet him though. Really meet him, not him posturing as the Big Bad Cat.”
Edwin pulled a face but had to concede the point. He sighed.
“You probably should,” he agreed.
“I’ll only threaten him a little bit.” Charles gestured a minuscule distance between his thumb and forefinger. Then he widened it somewhat. “Maybe a little bigger bit.”
“There really is no need for that.”
“There kind of is,” Charles insisted.
Edwin sent him a dry look, then he cleared his throat. “I would like for you to get to know him. And Crystal. Niko already knows him a little.”
“One big, happy family?” Charles asked, very doubtful.
Edwin bit his lip. “To be quite honest, I don’t know how well the two of you will get along. You both have… big personalities.”
“I think I was just insulted.”
Edwin rolled his eyes.
“Niko likes him,” he said petulantly. “They get along surprisingly well.” He did sound a little surprised.
Charles chuckled. “She probably looks at you two like characters from one of her manga.”
“Thinkable,” Edwin agreed, smiling a bit. “And I think Thomas is protective of her,” he mused. “The way we found her, and with her having become this entirely new being.” He thought about that some more. “And we’re still not sure what exactly happened to her, or why she ended up in a different jar, or why it was that kind of jar…” He shrugged. “Thomas and I are still researching the whole thing in his library every now and again, but I think we’re going to need more books.”
Charles gasped histrionically with a hand on his chest to complete the look. “And he has a library!”
“Oh, honestly, Charles!” Edwin complained.
Charles snickered. “The guy just keeps ticking all the boxes.”
Edwin sighed but smiled. It wasn’t like he could argue the point.
“Seriously, though, Edwin. If you’re right about him, he and I, we’ll be fine,” Charles finally said. “I’ll behave,” he promised. “If he does,” he added mischievously.
“We’re doomed,” Edwin replied, dead-pan. Then he smiled too. “I think you’ll be fine too.”
“And…” Charles said hesitantly, “we’re fine too, yeah?”
Edwin’s smile widened. “More than fine.”
“And sorry for, you know, assuming the worst and bagging on cats and stuff.”
“Sorry for not telling you any of this sooner.”
They smiled at each other.
“Really, though, Eds,” Charles suddenly piped up. “I can’t believe you’ve been shagging the Cat King up one side and down the other for like three-quarters of a year without sharing with the group. Bad form, mate.”
Edwin’s face was burning as much as it was able, but he’d had quite some time to get used to such language, so…
“Feel free to tell the girls exactly that, then. Make sure you use the same words to keep the group on an even level.”
After a long, comfortable moment of shared humour, Charles said: “I noticed you know.”
Edwin tilted his head.
“That you were… lighter, I think. Smiling more.” He frowned a bit, deep in thought. “Given what I know now… It didn’t exactly look like the weight you always carry was completely lifted off your chest. It was more…” He captured Edwin’s eyes with his. “… I guess an additional someone helped you carry it.”
Edwin’s eyes watered, even as his lips were smiling. He nodded jerkily, happily, and swallowed against the lump in his throat.
Charles smiled back. “Good.”
Despite all the signs being in Edwin’s favour, the day that Charles was supposed to visit Thomas was the most nerve-wracking of all.
He understood why both Charles and Thomas had said that they should talk alone, without a buffer, to make sure that everything that needed saying was actually said, but…
“Bloody buggering hell,” Edwin muttered, marching up and down the office like a trapped tiger. “How long has it been?” he asked for what must have been the hundredth time.
Crystal and Niko were sitting on the sofa, Crystal rubbing her temples and Niko looking vaguely amused.
“Half an hour and,” Crystal looked at her watch, “two minutes.” When Edwin returned to his pacing, the last shred of patience snapped. “For fuck’s sake, Edwin, stop that!”
Edwin tried very hard to stand still.
“You were the one who said they shouldn’t use a time pocket,” Crystal pointed out.
“Of course not,” Edwin shot back. “I’d rather know how long this takes and not have to worry that they’re at each other’s throats for weeks.”
“They’re not at each other’s throats,” Niko interjected reasonably. “They love you.”
Crystal smirked. “And they know how annoyed you would be if they were to argue about which one of them gets to be the big protector.”
Edwin made a disgusted sound. “They’d better not.”
Crystal and Niko snickered.
Edwin put his fists on his hips and huffed. Pointedly.
All three of them startled when Charles suddenly hopped out of the mirror.
“Oh, thank fuck!” Crystal declared.
Charles’ cheeky expression showed that he knew exactly what Crystal was so thankful about, but he quickly turned to smile warmly at Edwin.
“Go on. He’s waiting for you.”
Edwin had a dozen questions buzzing in his mind, but the temptation of the mirror won out. He smiled at Charles as he hurried past him and stepped into the mirror.
Thomas was indeed waiting for him with his own smile that turned into a teasing smirk as soon as he saw Edwin.
“I guess I can suffer him if I absolutely must,” he droned playfully.
They met halfway, melting into each other’s arms. With no more open questions between them and no more hidden words unsaid, they finally came together seamlessly, unafraid of new questions and words they could encounter in the future.
Tied together not by their loneliness, but by a woven thread made up of everything they had to offer each other.
The future looked bright.
End