Chapter Text
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"You could do this without me-"
"—I couldn't do this without you." Carmy felt appalled, just by the idea of The Bear without Sydney.
His blues gently caressed Sydney's soft expression. She bit the inside of her cheek as he spoke, a twinge of anxiety bubbled in her chest like it always did during service on expo. Or anywhere near this place.
"Yeah you could." Sydney whispered. Her mind fought battles not to steal a glance.
"I wouldn't even wanna do it without you." He continued to shake his head. The man stared bullets into her. A short silence followed after. She was taken by surprise by his suddenly loving and soft words. It was rare to see Carmen Berzatto not be pissed at something or someone. It felt like he was in a constant mood. Her fondest moments of him are when they're alone and away from the chaos of The Bear.
The restaurants they'd visit together. The days off they'd spend just roaming the streets of Chicago looking for inspiration. Stumbling into random holes in the wall and buying the entire menu.
"You- You make me better at this."
"You make me better at this."
Sydney dropped the screwdriver. She gave in, meeting his sincere eyes. The once loud and aggressive bustle of the workers now seemed to slow down and felt almost silent. As if everyone knew this moment was what it was supposed to be. Peace. For once.
"You still like to cook, right?"
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"Yo Cousin! Can you fuckin' hear me?!" Richie hollered, his fists pounding against the door. "Carmen! Motherfucker." He swore under his breath and took one last heavy swing and stomping away in defeat.
Carmy had suddenly been snapped back into cold reality. Literally.
The frigid air of the freezer encapsulated him. Each breath Carmy took left an icy film inside his lungs and throat.
"Are you okay in there?! Carm! Carm!" Fak squealed. "Carmy! Carmen!"
"Alright jagoff you're gonna make him mad." Richie nudged him out of the way. "Fuck out the way."
"The fuck you mean I'm trying to help?"
Still in a daze, panic slowly engulfed him. The last time he was awake was during service. It was impossible he was out for that long. The chef's eyes darted to the room around him. The dimly lit freezer. Racks upon racks of food towering over him. The slightly condensated wet floor he was sprawled out on.
Her laugh
"What the fuck..." He croaked softly. His limbs slowly came back to life.
"Sydney..." Muffled words continued on the other side of the door. Chefs and employees anxiously stood around.
You could do this without me.
"Sydney."
You make me better at this.
"Sydney!" Carmy's heart suddenly jumpstarted like he'd been shocked with a defibrillator. He clutched his closing throat with a shaky fist.
"Sydney! Sydney! Can you fucking hear me??"
He squeezed his eyes shut, now realizing what had happened. Stupid Stupid.
Richie and Fak shared a suggestive glance.
"Calm the fuck down you fuckin' baby she's right fuckin' here." Richie scoffed.
"Shut the fuck up- where's Sydney?! Get me Syd right fucking now!" Carmen screamed with a hand still clamped to his neck. If he spent another moment without her comfort he might just pass out again and never wake up.
Sydney's head whipped around with lazer focus.
"Carm! You're okay!" She bolted across the kitchen, nearly slamming into the door like a Looney Tunes character. "I'm- I'm here, right here!" Sydney pressed up against the door. She completely disregarded Richie's classic idiotic words.
"The fridge guy is almost here, Carm. You need to calm down." She shouted. "I'm right here."
The fear she heard in Carmy's voice was enough to send her into fight or flight.
Carmy exhaled in relief. He dropped his hand to his stomach. Throat still dry, hands sweating bullets.
"You gotta stay with me, Syd, please. I need you to get me the fuck out of here." The man whimpered.
She swallowed hard. The woman paused for what felt like an eternity for him. Biting the inside of her cheek. He could be so scary when he was angry. Yet it was bittersweet to know she was the only person who could bring him down from this chaos.
"Syd?" The man anxiously awaited her voice to return.
"Yeah- yeah. I will. Just stay calm. I'm still here, Carm."
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After what might as well have been forever, Tony came to the rescue with a chainsaw. Carmy cramped himself against the rack furthest from the door as this happened. Bright sparks of matter flew in the air as if that piece of shit saw couldn't work any slower.
A noticeable clank appeared and the suction on the door released. It freely swung as Marcus pulled it open.
"Carm!" He cautiously called out. This is how you'd treat a rabid dog you found on the freeway. For one, it's familiar. It's a dog, dogs are nice. On the other hand it could have rabies and bite your arm off.
"Give me a second." Carmy replied with a stern tone in his voice.
Marcus cleared his throat. That took a lot of courage.
"Thanks man, we really appreciate it." Marcus shook Tony's hand with a firm grip and led him out through the back door. He shot an awkward pity grin back at her.
Sydney nibbled her cheek and watched the two, trying to distract herself from inevitably being the first one to face the Bear.
He stumbled out with heavy footsteps. His hair was slightly disheveled, his nose was a bright, noticeable shade of red. He immediately leaned himself against the hotline, his head hung low with exhaustion. Syd glanced over, a pitiful expression across her face.
"How are you feeling?" She spoke softly. Sydney hesitated before grazing her hand over his cold back. He instantly eased into her touch, letting out a gentle sigh.
He nodded for a moment. Collecting his thoughts.
"Like shit."
The thing with Sydney, was that he was never afraid to speak his mind. There was never a fear that she'd judge him. They'd been through so much together that it felt weird to be anything but brutally honest.
Sydney laughed awkwardly. Her fingers curled against the fabric of his chef's coat in an attempt to soothe his nerves. She was almost afraid that one wrong move would tip him over the edge; like most things do. Being locked in a freezer would do that to you. Especially to him.
"Sorry. I'm- I don't know. I just-"
"Yeah, no man I totally get it. You were in there for a long ass time, you're tired, no worries." Her worries seemed to lessen by the minute.
Carmy sighed with a grin. "Thank you."
It wasn't entirely new or odd that she could touch him like this and it'd be fine. Carmy was already a very touchy person. Always a hand gently rolling off the small of her back during prep. An arm resting just behind her chair during dinners. Maybe a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder in the midst of a stressful dinner rush. Things like that were just what made Carmy, Carmy.
Or maybe he's just Italian.
The two continued to stand in a comfortable-uncomfortable silence. Her hand traveled gently up and down his spine in patterns she seemed to memorize from him. Marcus held his breath as he turned the corner. Expecting a passive aggressive boss cursing under his breath. To his surprise, there it was. Sydney coaxing him like a worried girlfriend. If it'd been anyone else, Carmy would've been a violent mess.
The baker awkwardly waited with their drinks in a cardboard sleeve until Sydney finally took notice and gasped, immediately tearing her hand away. Carmy flinched as she broke contact. He whipped his head up to find Marcus and an awkward smile.
"Chef." Carmy straightened his back, nodding.
"Thank you, Marcus- I totally forgot about these!" Syd shuffled over and took the drinks from his hands, placing them on the line.
"Yeah, no problem." The man slightly eased up and took his hot chocolate. "How are you feeling, Carm? Sorry it took so long to get you out." He said sheepishly.
"No worries. I'm good, thanks." Carmy said in his usual cold-toned Carmy voice.
Marcus nodded. "Well uh... I'm gonna head out now. "G'night Chefs." He lifted his drink before turning the corner and disappearing from their view.
"Goodnight Chef." They spoke in unison.
Syd pulled her and Carmy's lattes out of the sleeve and handed one to him.
"You ordered these?" He observed the cup.
She shrugged. "Yeah. I figured you'd be cold." The pair took a sip at the same time and both twisted their faces almost immediately. Their drinks tasted old and just barely warm enough to pass as lukewarm. Without a word or second thought, Sydney scooped up the drink from his hands and took it to the microwave by the sandwich window.
He let out a defeated sigh. "Syd, you don't have to do that for me." The man slowly followed behind her.
"I could've done that."
"What are you talking about?" She called from a bit further away, already putting them in for two minutes. "
"Syd, really." He enunciated.
"Carm." She snapped back. "Stop. It's okay."
He bit his tongue in response. A winning smile creeped upon her lips as she took a seat on the locker bench and left room for him on her right. The blonde agreed and scooted beside her. His eyes fought the blinding fluorescent lights of The Bear beating down on him.
Truthfully, Carmy just felt helpless after the walk-in ordeal. He was trapped in there for the entirety of service and it seemed to go just fine. It was almost like things were better without him there at all.
He didn't find anything wrong with the fact that Sydney is more than capable of leading everyone on her own, but he couldn't help but feel like his efforts to be a good leader were futile. Everything came so naturally for Syd. Like most things do.
Sydney noticed his furrowed eyebrows and realized how late it was. To be honest, the lights were starting to take a toll on her as well.
She slowly stood and made her way to her locker. Carmy watched as she unbuttoned her newly embroidered Chef's coat and slipped into a hoodie, under a jacket, under another coat. All that over a long sleeve she'd already been wearing, of course. Chicago weather is no joke.
She took a seat once again to take off her non-slips and put on her dirty off white transit shoes.
"Do you need a ride?" Carmy made his way to his feet and stopped the microwave, merely seconds before it went off. Playing it cool, he most definitely burnt his fingertips trying to pull them out by the flimsy cardboard sleeve.
She thought about it for a moment, teetering her head back and forth.
"I'm offering. It's the least I could do, you know?" He finally got a decent hold on them.
Syd grinned. "Okay. Yeah. Thank you." Relieved she didn't have to stuff her head in a hoodie and fear for her life. Safe, once again.
By that point they wanted to get out of that cold restaurant as soon as possible. Carmy caught up and pulled on his one layer of jacket and a cap and was ready to leave. The two briefly split up to turn off all the lights and met back up beside Carmy's raggedy fishbowl of a Honda.
"You ready?" Carmy snapped a piece of nicotine gum out of its aluminum case.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
Carmy's car had a faint scent of cigarettes. He made the choice to never smoke in his car, but the smell always lingered on his clothes anyway. It was a pretty old car. Not ugly, just ancient. The windows still needed to be rolled down with a crank. It still had a cigarette lighter that was useless now. An old classic radio that still worked well, but he never used it.
An attachment on the passenger mirror held a small collection of CD's and mixtapes he burnt himself. One was missing, presumably in the radio.
"Could you uh, put your address in?" He handed her his phone, already opened on Maps. His other hand sat on the wheel with a slight tremble on his fingertips.
She awkwardly dialed in the numbers and off they went.
This part of Chicago was always a little scary to drive in at night. Sydney couldn't help but notice all the weirdos she would've encountered if she took the L home.
"You go this way home everyday?" Carmy furrowed his brows at the sight of the ratchet Italian men on every corner. Catcallers and tweakers that seemingly had nowhere else to be but roaming the streets at this hour.
The brunette couldn't help but laugh, even though he was serious.
"Yeah. It's not really that bad when I disguise myself as a man and walk fast."
He shot her a concerned look. "Seriously?"
"Well, yeah." The woman shrugged. "I mean, I'm gonna buy a car eventually but I just signed the lease for my apartment." She turned back to Carmy whose eyes kept shifting from the road to her.
"A car is next on my list, so you won't have to drive me everywhere anymore."
Carmy gave a dry laugh. "I never minded." He peeked over at her and felt accomplished he could bring a grin to her lips.
"I remember when I first moved into my apartment." He spoke in a reminiscent tone.
Sydney rolled her eyes and snickered. "God, you sound so old."
"Fuck off." Carmy laughed along with her.
"Living by myself has been the weirdest feeling."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, I grew up in a house that was always full. I shared a room with fucking Mikey for a lot of my childhood, and when I didn't, Sugar was always right next door."
Carmy glanced at the girl in the passenger seat and his heart must've skipped a couple beats.
"Sorry. That was kind of a lot." He cleared his throat and continued to speed through the dim streets of Chicago.
She bit down a bigger smile. "You worry a lot."
"I— What?" His face twisted in curiosity. "No I don't- I don't know what you're talking about."
Words spilt from his mouth like drool. Or word vomit.
Her laugh filled up the small vehicle. "This is what I mean! You get so... defensive. You're so uptight. All the time."
"Oh." Carmy swallowed hard. "Sorry."
"Stop worrying!" She scrunched her face with another giggle.
"Okay! Okay!" He was practically holding his breath. "S—"
"Don't say it I won't listen!"
As they shared a peacefully silly moment, it seemed to dawn on the both of them that these times were so rare. It was hard for them to spend time together without the constant overbearing stresses of the restaurant, money, bills, idiot people.
But this was something they could get used to.
Carmy's phone let out a brief beep,
Your destination is on the right.
Sydney picked her tote off the floor and lifted it to her lap. The lights overhead flicked on as the car came to a stop.
"Let me walk you to your door." Carmy quickly stated and let himself out as Sydney simultaneously opened her door as well.
The pair made their way up the stairs to the complex and came to a stop at the front door.
Sydney lived in a much nicer place than Carmy did. It was slightly humiliating having Sydney over for the first time after seeing her apartment. It looked homey, warm and with life, unlike Carmy's insane asylum.
"Thank you for driving me— and walking me up, Carm. I appreciate it." Sydney grinned softly. She turned so they'd fully face each other.
A gentle breeze came and brushed past his hair. Carmy's nose flushed.
"Yeah- no yeah, of course. Thank you for... everything, I guess. I know you did amazing today."
Carmy stared at her longingly. His eyes seemed to admire every part of her he could see.
A lump caught in her throat as she watched him trace and trail her figure.
"Goodnight, Chef Carmy."
He smiled at the formality.
"Goodnight, Chef Syd."
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