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Biden sighed as his team confirmed the tweet announcing his drop from the president had dropped. Social media was going crazy and he didn't even want to see what the news on tv were headlining. He dreaded to think of what FOX news was saying.
He grabbed a nearby tissue to blow his nose in. Damn COVID. Damn election. Fuck it all. His head was on fire while the rest of him was freezing.
"Sir, you have a call," one of his aids said.
It was foolish to hope it the call was from a certain someone and yet his simple heart sped up anyway. He cleared his throat, pretending it was to clear the congestion and not because he needed an outlet to control himself.
"Who is it?"
The aid gave him a knowing look. "Former President Trump, sir."
"Ah," Biden said, absolutely exuding calm and chill energy. He was not. "I see."
The aid left quickly after that and Biden jumped from his seat to reach for the phone, accepting the call.
"Hello?"
"Joseph!" The voice on the other line replied cheerfully. "How's my favorite man doing? I heard the news, decided to send my condolences and pay my respects. Tell you it was a wonderful run yada yada. Usual bullshit."
Biden sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at the other man's arrogant words but found himself relaxing as well. He loved Donald, he really did, but he preferred his mouth full of something else. "President Trump, how kind of you to call me."
Donald made a pssh sound. "President Trump? Really? I think we're past those nonsense formalities, don't you Joseph? Joe. Joey." He clicked his tongue. "Joe sounds better."
Anything sounds better coming from you.
Biden smiled. "Joe it is." He used another tissue to wipe up some snot dribbling his nose. He didn’t want to blow it and make such disgusting noises in front of his beau so suffered he must.
"You know, I'm really quite surprised you decided to drop out. I was really looking forward to kicking your butt in elections. I had a whole thing planned out for our next debate - would've completely destroyed you and the libs, swear to god."
He raised an eyebrow, just the tiniest bit curious what trick Donald had up his sleeve but there was something more important to address. "Surely me dropping out wasn't too much of a surprise? After all, what we talked about last week..."
There was silence on the other line and Biden anxiously tapped his fingers across his desk. It shouldn’t be such a shock that he chose to drop out. He'd promised Donald last week in the hospital room. He'd been so terrified after seeing the man he loved almost killed on live tv, he'd never been so relieved to have Donald snuggled deeply into his arms a few hours later, finally able to comfort himself with the sound of his heart beating. He'd made himself clear to Donald: He was gonna leave presidency behind and put them first, wanted to scream out his love for the other man.
"...Donald?"
A throat cleared on the other line. "Yeah, yeah, I'm here Joe. I remember." A weak laugh. "I was just surprised you did too."
He frowned. "Of course I remembered. I...I wouldn't forget something that important. I couldn't." Not when it came to you.
"Could’ve fooled me."
"That's not fair."
"We live in America, Joe. There's no such thing as fair - only money and how big your dick is to fuck over the poor with it."
Biden flinched at the harsh tone. "Donny..."
The nickname had slipped out. He shouldn't have used it, he wasn't stupid enough to think there was no one else listening in but his baby boy was hurting and was lashing out.
"Don't Donny me. Not after the last few days have been. Tell me - why the fuck did I have hear about your covid on the news?"
He winced, physically pulling away from the phone but Donald's words chased him anyway.
"Tell why I had to hear of you dropping out from one these stupid jack offs that work for me? Why? Do you enjoy embarrassing me? Is that it? Does it make you all happy to think of me distressed over your wellbeing hundreds of miles away while you can't pick up the fucking phone and give me a call??"
Shame curdled within his gut and guilt soured the back of his throat. He couldn’t even say anything back, his mouth was wide open but only air pushed out. It was as if he were paralyzed. Donald was right, he knew. He should've called about his covid diagnosis. He should've called to give a heads up about him bowing out of the race. He just...didn't. It had slipped his mind.
"Helllooo? Joe? Joseph? Are you finally living up to your name, Sleepy Joe?"
He closed his eyes as Donald continued to taunt and pick at him. His headache grew and he knew his face was flushed red from fever. Everything felt overwhelming. The lights were too bright, his blanket too confining and he couldn't breathe.
He sucked in a deep breath, desperate for air but it felt like sucking in through a straw.
"Joe? Joe, baby, say something you're scaring me. I was kidding about the kiddie porn joke, please just answer me."
"....can't....no....air...."
There was a spew of curses from the other man but Donald got control of himself quickly.
"Joe listen to the sound of my voice, kay? Put your hand on your chest like you're doing the pledge of allegiance, you patriotic sonovabitch."
Biden followed the instructions blindly, placing his right hand over his heart. His heart that was beating too fast and panic set in quicker.
"Now take a deep breath like you're pretending to hold in a cough - feel your chest expanding? Exhale like you're trying to let out a fart but realize it was actually a shart. This is why we wear diapers."
Biden snorted uneasily at the unnecessary comments but followed them as ordered. It took a while to settle down but eventually he did. He swallowed harshly, feeling unbelievably tired.
"Thanks Donny."
Donald made a noise of disgust. "Well, couldn’t have you dying while on the phone with me - think of what the public would think. Wouldn't be good for campaigning."
"...and you're still gonna do that? Campaign? What about..."
What about us?
Biden stared at his desk, memorized the wood until it looked more like brown spots than anything resembling a desk. He fucked up by not telling Donald but that didn't mean they were over, right? They promised each other. They promised they'd leave this cesspool of politics and run off together, frolicking into the sunset like the old geezers they were. He already had the Bahamas tickets ready.
"I don't know Joe," Donald sighed tiredly. "Everything’s so....confusing. Chaotic. I got Vance up my ass. You know how I told you I only picked him so he could take my place but he's wet behind the ears. Too easily manipulated. Still can't believe he agreed to be on my ticket. And you...." He groaned. "You're also a pain in my ass."
"But you love me," Biden rasped into the phone, holding onto it tightly like a lifeline. "You love me."
"Unfortunately. For some reason your dick is the only thing that gets me wetter than a hooker seeing a drunk john."
Biden rolled his eyes as he breathed a silent sigh of relief. For a second there had been a moment of hesitation from the other side, and his stomach had plummeted, but Donald's words soothed him.
"We'll get through this pookie bear, my little squirter."
"Joey!" Donald hissed. "Not outside the bedroom! What if someone's listening in?" But then said quickly, "we better, my strong alpha dom. See you at our favorite spot?"
"Bring lots of lube. And don't use the bathroom before, keep those holes full for me, kitten."