Chapter Text
It's Autumn in South Carolina. Which doesn't mean much aside from the fact that the humidity is lower. But, for high schoolers alike, it means many things. Pumpkin spice lattes, cozy cardigans, and long scarves, even if they're unnecessary. But those things aren't only reserved for teenagers. They're also reserved for Vice Principal Lee Russell of North Jackson High.
Equipped with those three fall essentials, Russell power walked his way into the school, chin held high. In the far off distance he could see his arch nemesis, Neal Gamby, dressed in some ugly sand colored plaid suit. And it actually was something Russell might pick out, but now that he's seen Gamby in it, he'd never dare look at it. Even if he saw it on display in his size.
Russell was about to approach and make some snarky comment when Principal Welles came barrelling out of his office. "Russell! There you are! Vice Principal Gamby and I were waiting for you." He quickly changed his face of slight irritation to happy and radiant. "Ah! Were you really? Well, I'm terribly sorry to keep you two waitin'." Russell adds a laugh for extra impression. Gamby rolls his eyes and snorts. They head inside his office, but not before purposely bumping into each other on the way inside. Welles noticed. He'd be a shit principal if he didn't take note of things like that.
All warfare is based on deception.
"Alright. I've got something special planned for all grades this year." Welles clears his throat. "Since Halloween falls on a weekday, much to their dismay, I was thinking we could hold a party here." Gamby and Russell's eyes widen in unison. "A party? For them? Here? Don't they want to go trick or treating or something?" Russell guffaws. "Teens don't go trick or treatin', you oaf. They'd love your idea, Principal Welles." He softly reassures and smirks pridefully when Welles isn't looking and Gamby is.
"Here's the catch: I'm going to need you two to chaperone. I can't do it." Russell looked like someone slapped him in the face with Gamby's 'Get It' paddle. Gamby starts, "Uh, actually, I can't either. My daughter wants to go trick-or-treating. I always take her."
"Well she's got a momma, ain't she? A new daddy, too, I hear." Gamby stares him down like looks could kill. "Russell. That was rude." Welles clears his throat once more.
"You're right. Sorry... I'm sure you're a busy man, so, no worries! I'll take care of it myself." Welles does a single clap with his hands. "That's more like it. Taking initiative!" Russell does a pretty little smile with his eyes closed like he's accepting the Nobel Prize.
Gamby was hit with a wave of vertigo from disgust. "Okay, actually, yeah, it's Gale's day, anyway. I'm free. I can be there." He checked his watch like it just told him that information. Russell scoffs, his plan failing. "Perfect! We need more eyes, anyway. This'll be an indoor and outdoor event." Gamby looks floored and Russell nods sheepishly.
"Oh, and, uh, one more thing. Costumes are required." Russell can't hold back his feelings at this point, jaw dropped and tongue moving like he was about to protest when Gamby's obnoxious fit of cachinnation takes the wheel of the conversation.
"Ha! You won't be needing a costume, Russell, you're a witch!" Gamby's staring right at him when he squints his eyes in annoyance and turns to face his rival. "You don't need one either! You can be an ogre!" They're grinning at each other like they're ready to rip each other's throats out.
Welles cuts them off with a "QUIET!" Before it could escalate any further.
"Sir, yes, sir."
They fix their posture.
"...Yes, sir."
Russell takes the first sip of his coffee since he got it. Gamby puts his hands on his hips.
"We're clear, correct?"
Two nods.
"Alright. I expect you two on your best behavior."
Two more nods.
"Okay. Go on."
They exit quick like.
In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.
They're standing outside the door like they just got lectured. "That was a shit show." Gamby sighs. Russell stares off like he didn't hear him. "In order for this to work, we have to call a truce." He's standing in front of Russell now with a hand out, palm open. "Truce?" Russell does his signature face. "I ain't shakin' your fuckin' hand. But, yes, we should call a truce in order to not fuck this up." Maintaining eye contact, he downs the rest of his small latte before tossing it in a bin and waltzing away. Gamby finally puts his hand down and blows air out of his nose, then walks the opposite direction.
Who wishes to fight must first count the cost.
The whole week prior, Russell's planning the best costume anyone has ever seen. Something sexy, not silly, he figures. Something that fits his character. Something with style and grace... Dracula! Yes, Count Dracula is what he decided on. He'd gone to countless party stores and pop-up shops that only operated in October to find the perfect cape and makeup. He could supply the suit easily.
Gamby, on the other hand, spent the whole week preparing himself mentally. Being stuck around his number one enemy while watching a bunch of kids be assholes and dickwads? This is gonna be tough. He never even thought about a costume until the night before the party. Into technically the next day, he rummages through boxes until he finds an old costume of Clint Eastwood's nameless man from his college days. He tries it on and it fits a bit tight, but it'll just have to do.
...
Christine is doing Russell's extravagant maquillage, using pounds of white cake and gallons of fake blood on any part of his skin that's visible. His hair is the same, albeit just a bit shinier than normal. He sure as shit wasn't gonna put contacts in. Instead, she outlined his eyes with eyeliner and eyeshadow.
"And... there. You're all done, Lee." He turns to see a pale version of himself with red smears on his mouth and blackened eyes. "Goddamn! This shit's awesome!" He pecks her on the cheek and smears the faux bodily fluids on her before popping fangs in his mouth that made him sound like he had a lisp.
He dusts off his pants while walking his way to the front door. "Alright, Mi-Cha, how do I look?" Russell does a little twirl, cape in hand with his arm extended out to add some flair. When she sees his face, she visibly jumps and talks shit in Korean before turning back to her kimchi garden. "You have no appreciation for fashion, you old hag."
"Bitchy boy." She murmurs as he starts his car.
...
Janelle's dressed up as a character from Frozen. Anna, Gamby thinks. Or Elsa. He didn't really know, to be honest. He thinks about what Russell said and can't imagine seeing her grow out of things like this. It'll break him.
But for now, she fixes her dad's hat. "Thank you." He smiles all silly. "You're welcome!" Gamby stands up in front of a full length mirror, pressing out the wrinkles in his poncho. His ears perk up to the sound of Gale and Ray pulling up in that ridiculous truck. Janelle is already running to the door, to his disappointment. "Hey, baby!" Gale squeezes her daughter in a hug, Ray walking in beside her. "Hi mom! Hi Ray!" He shoots the girl a kind smile and leaves a fist out for her to bump. Which she does.
"Is... that what you're wearing?" She points up and down at him. "Yes, Gale, this is what I'm wearing." Ray takes his sunglasses off his face. "C'mon now, Gale! It's a pretty sick costume. Looks great!" Gamby feels his face redden out of embarrassment. "Fuck yourself, Ray." He then quickly remembers his adolescent daughter is in the room. "Uh, sorry, Janelle. Don't say those things." Gale does something between a groan and a gibe of disbelief and turns her daughter around. "Let's go, Ray." He waves goodbye and Gamby flips him off.
After they pull out of the neighborhood, Gamby climbs in his car and slams his head into the steering wheel, triggering the horn. "Ow. Fuck." He rubs his forehead and takes his Western hat off before turning the key, sun already setting in the distance with a nice breeze blowing through, sending dead leaves on his windshield.