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“I'm telling you, the guy is an asshole.”
The moment he dared to utter those words, he got one pretty strong slap upside the head. It didn't hurt in the slightest, because it was from Lois, and Lois was human, but he still flinched and said a quiet “ouch”.
“What was that for?!”
“First of all, you can't say that about a person you only know for, what, a week?”
“Two weeks,” Connor corrected her, and she got another slap.
“Second of all, you have a child on your hands, so stop swearing.”
“And you stop hitting me! What example are you giving to that child?!” He huffed. “And anyway, I don't want to have a child in my hands, why am I even holding him? He's four!”
“Because he wants to, and I told you so,” she said, rolling her eyes, taking a knife and adding something to the pan.
This conversation was happening for about an hour, from the moment when Connor got back from another mission with Young Justice. As he stepped into the kitchen, he found poor Lois, who was trying to simultaneously cook dinner and not let Jon touch the knives because they were shiny, and he was like a little crow.
And so Connor took Jon in his hands, letting the kid play with chains on his neck and the long earring. He started complaining almost immediately, talking about how insufferable the new teammate was. He said he was arrogant, boring, rude and all the words he shouldn't say while holding a child, who will definitely share this newfound knowledge with the rest of his kindergarten group.
“You still didn't explain why you think he's bad, I literally haven't heard a reason yet.”
“Well…”
The mission today was spectacular, even though Robin again wrote the instructions for them and sent them to the group chat instead of telling them, as if it were beneath him to speak to them. After it, they got back to their base, and Robin, quiet as always, didn't even tell them that they did a good job (yes, Conner needed that, he loved praise, sue him).
They all fell onto the couch with tired groans, Cassie upside-down, throwing legs onto the back of the couch, Bart fell face-first into the cushion, Cissie right onto him, Conner took the remaining space on the couch, and Robin placed himself onto the armrest next to him. He had been looking into nothingness for some time, and so Conner decided to talk to him, thinking that maybe this time the guy wouldn't be a prick and at least say something nice.
“So, Robin, what did you think about the mission?”
Robin showed him the thumbs up and yawned, tired.
“Maybe you have some notes? Or, I don't know, anything to say to us?” He tried very hard not to get angry at half-assed answers.
He shrugged.
Connor bit his lip, stopping himself from cursing. Then he tried to say something again and again, but at some point Robin put his gaze on his stupid watch and started irritatingly tapping at it, trying to hint to Connor to leave him alone and not bother him anymore.
“Oh, fuck you!” Said Conner after all as he got up. Everyone snapped their gazes at him, even Robin, who looked very surprised at the sudden outburst. “You know what? I'm tired! That's the second week you're doing this!”
Robin tilted his head, confused, as if asking what he was talking about, instead of saying the question out loud.
“This! I'm trying to talk to you! To have a conversation! Conversation! Do you people in Gotham don't know what this is?” He asks, frustrated, his face all red.
Robin's face was also slowly gaining some color, as if he felt ashamed. As he should, he thought, crossing his arms on his chest. Conner just spun on his heels towards the zeta with a loud, “I'm out!”
He appeared in the metropolis and took a very long walk towards the house in Smallville. On his way, he frustratingly kicked every lying rock on the road, sometimes making dents in the nearest road signs. When he got home, he was still very much frustrated, and thus this conversation has started.
When Connor finished the explanation, he heard a loud laugh from Kara, who came into the kitchen somewhere in the beginning of the story about Robin. She tried to close her mouth to stop, but failed miserably. Connor and Lois looked at her as if thinking about calling Batman to send her to Arkham.
“Oh, Rao, you're stupid!” She finally said as the laughter died down.
“Hey!” He pouted, indignantly. “I'm not stupid! He's an ass, what the hell was I supposed to say?!”
“First off, you shouldn't yell at him, you should ask why he doesn't speak to you or anyone,” says Lois, while Kara was in another feat of laughter.
“And second, he's mute,” Kara tells him, wiping away tears of joy at Connor's stupidity.
“He's what?”
“It's- It's the Nightwing's brother, right? Robin? He can't speak because of an accident or something.”
“How do you know that?”
“Nightwing told me. We were on a mission, and he was complaining about that kid B-man put in his costume. Smart, very unhappy kid. As usual.”
Connor never felt this stupid in his life, even after he tried to pierce his ears with a kryptonite needle by himself. He passed out three times before finally calling Cassie. Now it was the peak of his stupidity.
“Oh, my fucking God. I'm an asshole.”
Lois finally took Jon from his hands and gave him to Kara, who was still laughing here.
“Well, you can try and apologize,” she said as she finally stopped chopping something.
“If he won't tell you to go fuck yourself, Nightwing says the kid has a character.” Kara, too, got a slap upside the head. “Sorry, Lois.”
The woman just rolled her eyes. Conner, meanwhile, was thinking about the best way to apologize to Robin. He needs a grand gesture. Something nice. Not something he'd by, considering that Robin was Batman's sidekick, he probably could buy anything. No, he needed something better. Showing that he had put the effort into it.
He thought about baking. Then thought how mad Lois would be if he burned the kitchen. Again. Then he thought about making something nice, just to look at it. He suddenly remembered his attempts to help Jon make a Mother's Day card this year and how it looked awful. Yeah, no. Flowers? Last time he tried to do that, he got knocked in the shoulder with kryptonite because he ruined Lois's flower bed.
Then it hit him, like in a fight. Oh, he was a genius! He saw it in some romantic film, and the girl in that film was so thankful and happy and felt so appreciated. Robin wasn't a girl, as far as Connor knew (well, he never told him at least), but hey, even a guy from Gotham can have a heart and be happy if Connor does something for him.
Later this week, Connor caught Robin in the training room on the bars. As much as he thought that the guy was an asshole, he couldn't deny that he was handsome. Athletic, strong, flexible, fast. To be honest, if they didn't start with a misunderstanding, Connor would be flirting with him from the start.
He waved to him, catching his attention and motioning to himself. Robin looked skeptical but got down, picked up a towel, and walked over to grinning Conner. Right now they'll fix their relationship and become friends, and Connor tries to flirt a bit.
Connor waved again and Robin reflected the motion. Then he but a fist to his chest and made a circle. Robin's expression was now confused, but Connor was prepared. He made the motion again, pointed a hand at himself, then gestured as if he was holding something and held up the hand in front of him, then pointed at Robin. Nothing changed
He repeated the motion a few times, but Robin just looked annoyed. Then he finally stopped him and took out his phone and started texting to someone. Of course, it was much more important than his thought out apology.
Then he felt his own phone vibrate for a moment, getting a message.
SilentBird: What are you doing?
Kon glanced from the screen to Robin and back.
SuperAwsome: Apologizing. In ASL.
SilentBird: Why?
SuperAwsome: Well, you don't speak, so I thought
SilentBird: I'm mute, not deaf, you know that?
“Oh fuck,” he put the phone away, feeling so awkward he hoped the ground will swallow him whole. “I just thought…”
SilentBird: What?
“Nothing,” he bit his lip. “Why don't you know the sign language anyway.”
SilentBird: Why should I? Nobody around me knows it, and my brother is blind, so he can't see if I'd talk to him that way.
“Damn it!” He put his hands to his face covering the flustered redness, wishing the floor would swallow him whole.
He then heard another ding and looked at his phone.
SilentBird: I'm not really mad, though you're an idiot. So, I suggest truce.
“Oh thank God. I thought I was an asshole the whole week.”
Robin looked at him as if saying “you are”, but Connor decided to ignore it.
“So,” he asked after a moment of silence, “how about a cup of coffee as an apology? I'm paying.”
Robin smiled slightly, Connor was almost sure it was the first time he saw him smile. It was light and a bit shy as he was typing the answer.
SilentBird: I'm buying the most atrocious and expensive coffee that tastes like sugar with blueberry flavoring.
“Guess that's the price for being dumb.”
Tim mouthed “It is” and went back to his training. After that they went for coffee and Conner learned that Robin does not joke about coffee, that he does joke about him being mute, and that Conner needs to learn Morse code, cause it's useful in convos with Tim and also in obscure indie games, where there's more mysteries than game play.
He also learned that Robin is nice when he wants to be. And that he can laugh, but very weakly. And that he can be charming without saying a word, making Conner almost feel butterflies in his stomach.
Next on Conner's list of things to learn: compliments in Morse code. He hoped he wouldn't screw this up. Or that Robin will be this forgiving the second time.