Chapter Text
OMGS.
My brother showed me a video last night concerning the 2016 Presidential debates (Republican and Democrat) with the only amazing exception.
They were in the Bad Lip Sync reading edition!
So everything they said didn't make any flipping sense at all! xD
And now I got inspired to do the same thing with the Fire Emblem country known as AJRA (Amerijapandaropesiafrica)! xD
16 Kantons divided into 2 segments of the debate.
And it's candidate/ re-presenters of thier Kantons:
Segment 1 of the debate with lower known Kantons of AJRA:
Travant of Thracia
Reka of Valdek
Walhart of Valm
Fado of Renias
Arctoro of Norte Sagasse
Mila and Duma of Valentia
Asyura of Kouga
Roy of Lycia
Segment 2 of the debate with higher known Kantons of AJRA:
Chrom of Ylisse (Along with Lucina and Reflet to help out.)
Marth of Altea
Basilio and Flavia of Ferox (Regna Ferox, St. Ferox, FVN, FVR)
Desmond and Zephiel of Bern
Sumeragi of Hoshido
Garon of Nohr
Grima of Plegia (Unfortunately the Fell dragon was absent due to some random Cheif Risen taking his place)
Invisible Kingdom (None available due to no appearance at the podium.)
Ike of Crimea (Telluis Sub-Kantons: Begnion, Daien, Mainland Crimea, Gallia, Goldoa, Phoenicis, Kilvas, Hatari)
Takes place LIVE in the St. Jakob Musik Halle where AJRA's most trusted news known as Super RTL (Suprisingly aired on a children's channel that mainly airs cartoons in the morning and evening) will host and air the whole debate on TV.
Surprisingly I will be the host and 5 total questions will be asked before a 5 minute opening speech.
Then it will conclude to several challenging activities such as sharing a drawing, naming 10 nouns in 5 seconds, and voting for several choices that makes every candidate agree to the point.
It's a CRACK fic and I kept on laughing about it for so many hours, I have to write it down.
Thus the "2016 AJRA presidential debate" starts now! xD
*Audience cheers as the stage lights up to reveal a young girl walking up to the front, clearing her throat for the introduction to this wonderful night of an official presidential debate between the Lower and Higher known Kantons of AJRA.*
Falco: Welcome AJRAnians and all of those who are watching this from any country in Future Europe on planet Mira, I welcome all of you to join me this evening for the official national presidential debate to happen right here in the St. Jakob's Musik Halle proudly hosted by the news network, Super RTL.
*Audience cheers again with whistles and respective claps.*
Falco*Raises hand for silence*: I will announce our national candidates- Exalts, Kings, Emperors, Princesses you name it along with the Kanton they represent- Halidom, Theocracy, Kingdom, Monarchy, Nation, Land, village, all that good stuff AFTER I have explained the rules.
*walks across stage to pick up remote*
Falco: This debate is split up into two respective segments. One for the Lower Kantons first, then the other for the Higher Kantons. First 5 minute speech will be made by each candidate. They will introduce themselves then talk about what they have done during the holidays. The next session is where I will explicitly ask them total of 3 questions that should focus about laws and making change in AJRA. This will reflect on the country to see if it really can make progress like Future USA (Has NOT been revealed yet on Planet Mira) or stay in the backwards behavior of theirs like the old Templar life. Next, we will conclude challenging activities such as sharing a drawing, naming 10 nouns in 5 seconds, and voting for several choices that makes every candidate agree to the point. Got that?
*Everyone nods in agreement*
Falco: Alright, now to announce the first segment of the debate, we have Ruler Travant of Thracia!
*Audience claps and cheers as Travant appears on stage*
Travant: Greetings Future Europe! So nice to see ya again after a Dracoknight kidnapped my poor pet rock!
Falco: Next we have Princess Reka of Valdek!
Reka: Yeah ma boyz! Let's get dis deebayte rockinz out!
Falco: Next we have is Emperor Walhart of Valm!
Walhart: One day you guys will see Wal-mart spread everywhere in Future Europe! Gotta LOVE those Low prices!
Falco: Low prices! How exciting! Well, here comes ol' King Fado of Renias!
Fado: Mommy! I'm scared!
Falco: Don't worry! Be happy!
Walhart: You got that from a movie huh?
Falco: Sure did. Moving on, we have princess Arctoro of Norte Sargasse!
Arctoro: Cactus... so interesting...
Falco: They could hurt sometimes. Well, don't wanna wait any longer cuz here comes Mila and Duma of Valentia!
Mila: Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Duma: Spread the LOVE!
Falco: Roman's love. How pagan and aquaint. Of course, we don't wanna forget about princess Asyura of Kouga!
Asyura: RAWRR!
Falco: Yes, what a kitty mood! Well, Kitty turned the scratch on the turntable as Roy of Lycia is here!
*Dosh flutters madly as it rains behind the certain redhead with shades and girls swooning around him*
Roy: Sup Bitches? I'm here to debate about dosh, rap, and girls!
Falco*claps hands as signal*: Well! Let's start with introductions shall we?
Walhart: Hell yes! Make this quick because I have to "Rollback" to Walmart for some quick "Lay-aways"!
Falco: Alright Wally. I know you love low priced stuff that's why Valm ranked down into the lower known section of Known Kantons.
Walhart: Fab.
Falco: Anyway, let's ask the 3 questions now! First question: What was your weekend like? Starting with you Ruler of Thracia.
Travant: Hitched a ride to Mcdonald's on my new dragon named Flamer. It was totally rad.
Walhart: Oh look! The Thracian idiot here thinks Mcdonalds is wayyyyy better than Wally's newly built Subway right inside Walmart!
Falco *whistles* wow. Food chain in a low priced department store. Gotta be worth it.
Reka: Not as much as my lunchbox with sweet red tomatoes!
Walhart: Lame.
Travant: At least what she just said was valuable ya know!
Walhart: Food's not my focus here! Low priced stuff is!
Falco: Alright, you two. No fights. We're here to calmly express ourself on why Planet Mira was born.
Reka: Easy. It's all thanks to Ronald Mcdonald for presenting us this creation of heavenly fast food life.
Travant: Thank you! Finally some bitch standing next to me agrees to the full point! Beat that Walhart!
Walhart *sticks tongue out at him*
Falco: Anyway, Fado?
Fado *nervously smiles*: Hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaahhhaaaa *small voice* Hi.
Falco: Great start! I'm liking that! How bout you, Arctoro?
Arctoro: Cacti is so amazing...
Falco: Well, since Arctoro is too into her Cactus, let's move onto the double rulers here.
Mila: We gave out an amazing speech about LOVE.
Duma:*whispers with joy* Spread the Love.
Falco: If you like the Valentine crazed Valentians, then you might like interest in Asyura!
Asyura: I took a trip down to Lagdou Wildlife Reserve to meet Rolly, my faviourite Kuga cat. A few Gallians crossed my path and claimed that my love of cats were taking too far. I then tried to explain that I was only here to meet her when Rolly pooped on my head. It was quite embarrassing but hey you gotta tell your horrible experience huh?
Mila: She did it with love my friend
Duma: No Kanton vs Kanton war. Let's live in peace along with LOVE!
Roy: Damn, I'm getting sick and tired of LOVE! Future Europe needs the Dosh King! AJRA's loaded with dosh, I'm gonna be the next king of this world!
Falco: Well, the results should pop out in the end. Nice weekend! Moving on to question 2! What do you think of my shirt?
Travant: I smell Goodwill on you. Walmart alert.
Reka: Don't be mean! It's nice.
Walhart: Travant STOLE MY LINE! HOW DARE YOU!
Falco: Guys! No fighting!
Reka: You heard what she said.
Falco: Walhart?
Walhart:...
Reka: Poor Valmese don't wanna have uh word?
Falco: It's fine. Fado?
Fado: I'm color blind. Is it? Black?
Travant: Look closer idiot!
Walhart: He just said he's blind you Thracian moron! And you call yourself a ruler!
Travant:...
Falco: O-kay... well, that rounds to the last three. Valentia?
Mila: pink
Duma: red
Travant *shakes head with a sigh*: Is that what they think about everyday?
Falco: Kouga?
Asyura: Peach just like the fur of my beloved Rolly!
Falco: Roy?
Roy: Green is the dosh color so a nigga have to go with that color!
Falco: Wrong. Aqua Green. Next question. Do you think I should get a Toyota Prius or a Honda Pilot for my next birthday?
Travant: Prius. Pilots resemble a toaster box.
Reka: I highly doubt that. I suggest both of them.
Falco: The MFK (Em-F-Kah) of Ylisse Landschaft would go bankrupt I'm afraid.
Reka: You live in Ylisse?
Walhart: If you wanna save money then come to Valm. Lots of Walmarts there.
Fado: What's a Walmart?
Arctoro: Pilot. So roomy like the desert.
Mila and Duma: Prius spreads the LOVE!
Asyura: Pilot. So catty like Rolly.
Roy: Hondas are ma pimp ride. Don't know shit about Pilots but Ridgelines sure capture my interest!
Falco: Well, since you guys said Pilots over Prius, I go with the CUV's! Well, since the questions went well, were gonna move onto the challenges now. I want you guys to share your drawings, starting with Thracia.
Travant: I built my house on top of the huge mountain so I could portray Flamer dead on the side of the stony structure.
Falco: Boring. Next?
Reka: Drew a picture of a happy tomato Leo just to piss off that Hoshidan for his hatred of these veggies.
Falco: Good job. Next?
Walhart: My dream is to spread Walmart everywhere.
Falco: Heard that in your introduction. Next?
Fado: Well, I drew myself alone on top of Castle Renias seperated from the main city with the help of this wall.
Falco: Blind wonders.
Fado: Thank you so much.
Arctoro: Cactus Roolz- hence the name of Norte Sargasse, close to Sarguasso desrert!
Falco: Intresting point! I might have to scribble that down for my science homework! Next?
Mila and Duma: Spread the LOVE!
Falco*sighs*: Yes, we know now. Love. Next?
Asyura *sighs dreamily* Oh Rolly...
Falco: You seem Cat obssesed. Hitch a ride to Gallia for the wild cat Laguz nation craze. Next?
Roy: I wanna be on the 500 Frank bill, ma nigga!
Falco: Alright, since you're too obbsessed with dosh, Roy. I want you to quickly list 10 nouns in 5 seconds...GO!
Roy: money, girls, rap, club, pimp, stree-
Falco: Times up! That was 5 so far, so better luck next time. Anyway, last session of the segement 1 debate, I want our viewers to vote on our candidates. Most precentage will qualify to segment two with the Higher known Kantons!
Let it begin!
*Cue serious beats from Want To Be a Millionare?*
Travant of Thracia 0%
Reka of Valdek 0%
Walhart of Valm 0%
Fado of Renias 1%
Arctoro of Norte Sagasse 0%
Mila and Duma of Valentia 0%
Asyura of Kouga 0%
Roy of Lycia 0%
Falco: Congratulations Frado! You advance to the next segment of this debate!
Walhart: WHAT!? That old Goodwill King is blind just how did they vote on him?
Reka: Humble and innocent people are the best choice.
Roy: No shit I lost! I'm back to watching Ghetto Booty now!
Travant: Dammit, no wonder I killed Flamer! I could hitch a ride back to Thracia now and forget about this whole debate thing!
Mila and Duma: Congradulations, Fado! Continue to spread the love!
Fado: I'll try my best.
Falco: Well my friends, there ya have it! Segment 1 of the debate has gone well and please stay tuned for Segment 2 of this debate after a nice commercial break from our lovely sponsors!
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*Camera sways over the crowd clapping and whistling respectively as Falco steps out on the stage, a smile worn on her face shining with glee*
Falco: Welcome back everyone to the 2016 AJRA presidential debate! I hope everyone had a good time watching those god awful weird commercials- more weirder than that helmeted, diaper wearing handicapped boy named Jeffery who always sticks a pencil up his nose (please refer to SuperMarioLogan on youtube). Anyway, let's start segment 2 of the debate! Fado is here with me to join with the higher Kantons!
Fado: *nervously smiles*: Hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaahhhaaaa *small voice* Hi.
Falco: Since we didn't let our candidates stand in front of ACTUAL podiums, here they are used for segment 2 of this debate. Rise! My amazing props!
*snaps finger and 10 podiums rise from the stage floor, all of them halting in equal heights*
*Words "YLISSE" are lighted with white hue as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying a fierce Basilisk and Pegasus guarding the shield which has a black winged Crozier facing left (the main logo of Ylisse-Stadt; red winged Crozier facing right is Ylisse-Land)*
*Words "ALTEA" are lighted in white hue as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying two Dolphins guarding the shield which has diagonal line rides from the top left corner of the shield down to the lower right corner, seperated into it's national colors, Skyblue and White- oddly the national colors of AJRA too.*
*Words "FEROX" are lighted in green hue as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying two griffins aggresively guarding the green shield which has the St. Ferox Fort Fence along with an axe in the middle.*
*Words "BERN" are lighted in gold yellow as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying a male black bear on it's four furry legs with red claws, tongue, and wee-wee ablaze, walking upwards behind the yellow thick stripe slapped on the red field.*
*Words "HOSHIDO" are lighted in light pink as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying a pink flower on the shield along with a few Kanji letters blazed across it.*
*Words "NOHR" are lighted in light black as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying a warrior's helmet with dragon wings spouting from the sides.*
*Words "PLEGIA" are lighted in light black as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying half of the mark of Grima and half of the Volkswagen logo on the right*
*Words "INVISIBLE KINGDOM" are lighted in white as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying an outlined castle and letters "IK" on the shadowy gray shield*
*Words "CRIMEA" are lighted in gold yellow as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, portraying a Flower in the middle while the Laguz national animals of Gallia (Wildcat), Goldoa (Dragon), Phoenicis (Hawk), Kilvas (Raven), Serenes (Heron), Hatari (Wolf) and Beorc symbolism of Begnion, Daein and Mainland Crimea circle around the gold flower of the Crimean emblem.*
*Words "RENIAS" are lighted in white as underneath the Kanton label is the official crest, an outlined castle in white behind the blue shield.
Falco: Pretty nice huh? Well, to get back to the point here, I will now announce the candidates for the Higher Known Kantons! First up, the crazy KFC mercenary and 'claimed' ruler of Crimea, Ike!
Ike: Sup Future Europe? KFC Roolz!
Falco: Next up we have is- Oh...
*crowd mutters with whispers of confusion towards the host's mistake*
Ike: There a problem?
Falco: Unfortunately, the ruler of the Invisible Kingdom is really Invisible so I guess he won't say anything throughout the whole debate and all we get to see is just the podium I guess...
Fado: Why did you enter the Invisible Kingdom in the first place?
Ike *faces Fado*: Who's this freak?
Falco *sighs*: Ike, please be kind to the ruler of Renias. Be aware that he is color blind so he may think your hair color is the same as his.
Ike: Fine with me.
Falco: Anyway, back to the subject. Oh wow. I'm glad Ylisse is not announced yet because- get ready people! Fear the Fell dragon of Plegia. Fear Grima!
*Instead a random cheif Risen limps towards the podium, looking at everyone in a strange way.*
*Ike nods with interest as Fado crings with fear towards the mentally handicapped zombie drooling across the podium*
Chief Risen: Auuuughhhh...
Falco: O-kay? Well, I guess it's accepted because next we have on the list is Garon of Nohr!
Garon: ROAR! I LOVE Turtles!
Cheif Risen *flicks him off*: Nrgghhhhaaauuughhh!
Falco: Guys, please be nice to each other. We have to take this debate seriously. Next to Nohr, is Sumeragi of Hoshido- who happens to suffer from the same condition as Fado does.
Sumeragi: Moshi-Moshi Future Europe. Everything is dark, no light.
All announced candidates: *facepalm*
Falco: Thanks for the intro for Desmond and Zephiel of Bern has arrived!
Desmond: The ex-Templar Confederation.
Zephiel: The current capital of AJRA and black bear nation.
Desmond and Zephiel: Together, we will gain a new ruler over the WHOLE country! That's us! Desmond and Zephiel! The Black Bearz!
Falco: Black Bearz. I like that, it's so catchy! Well, we don't wanna forget about another set of twin rulers here. Proudly presenting the two Feroxi Khans of Regna Ferox, St. Ferox, Ferox VN, and Ferox VR- give it up for Basilio and Flavia!
Flavia: We hate Lagooz!
Basilio: Booooo, losers to the Lagooz!
*Ike scowled with a hard glare, feeling insulted towards himself for being a wildcat Laguz (He was born in Gallia but then raised in mainland Crimea) He still wished there was a chicken Laguz nation*
Falco: Not quite nice but okay. Next up is the Hero king of Altea, Marth!
Marth *sighs dreamily*: Forever 21...
Falco: That's MemeMemeMeme Brigade's Idol mall store, right?
Ike: Pretty much since those Hot Topic losers burned it down.
Falco: There's one avaliable in the St. Jakob Shopping Center, ya know.
Marth: Must go!
Falco: Hold your horses, Marth! We still need to get through this debate. If you win it, throw out a huge party in the store right away.
Marth *calms down*: Alright.
Falco: Last but not least, the Fishstick crazed exalt of Ylisse, Chrom! Along with Lucina and Reflet (Female Robin) to help out!
Lucina: Don't talk about your relationship with Rappy, okay?
Chrom: Alright. I won't but- *halts dead to see who's standing by the Plegian podium* Is- Is that a... Risen? *snorts with laugher*
Reflet: Looks like it. This is our chance. Grima made a HUGE mistake to hire one of his army members into the debate. I put my full trust in you Chrom.
Chrom *continues laughing*: Oh my fucking gods, just why did he do this? Is he that retarded!?
Lucina: Considering his whole army is made up of mentally handicapped zombies falling randomly from the sky, then yes he is.
Reflet: Don't let that idiot notice you. *Continues to stare at the said 'candidate' currently shaping his drool into an unknown shape with his wrinkled finger on the podium*
Falco: Well, I guess were ready to start the questions! Some of the questions will be the same from segment 1 of the debate so let's get it started! What was your weekend like? Crimea?
Ike: KFC.
Falco: Alright, quite weird but okay. Invisible Kingdom?
Invisible Kingdom:...
Falco: Great! I loved the silence! Anyway... Plegia?
Cheif Risen: Aughhhaaaaagggaaaahhhhh...
Ike: What the hell is he trying to say?
Garon: I love Halloween? *shrugs* Wild guess.
Falco: Next up, Nohr!
Garon: Relaxed on the rooftops of my castle feeding my beloved pet turtle named George.
Sumeragi: Turtles suck, Flowers are better.
Falco: Accepted. Hoshido?
Sumeragi: Flowers are pretty.
Falco: Every candidate has a faviourite thing huh?
Invisible Kingdom:...
Falco: Renias?
Fado: What am I doing here?
Falco: Why! You're competing in the debate of course! Bern?
Desmond: Played in the beach with black bear cubs we stole from Shadow Dragon National Park, ma BWOYZ.
Zephiel: Idiot! There are no beaches in AJRA! Go to Future Spain AKA 'STAIN' for that sandy paradise!
Falco: Correction's the right choice to do and help one another. Ferox?
Basilio: Ran over random animal Laguz with our sporty Ferrari.
Flavia: dragons, wildcats, ravens, wolves... you name it!
Ike: Ha, you forgot about chickens!
Basilio: They aren't part of the Laguz alliance so you're quite lucky Ike.
Falco: That's quite weird frankly but thanks for answer! Altea?
Marth: Shopping spree in Forever 21.
Flavia: What's the blueberry head's obsession with that stupid store? I mean it's all clothing and shoes. There are better mall stores than that Preppy one.
Marth: Forever21 is NOT Preppy! Everytime I go into battle, wearing Forever21 apparel, I feel heroic with a modern style. Call me Japanese school girl but I'm wearing those laced shoes right here!
*crowd gasps with surprise*
Basilio: Blueberry head got a point right there. He's really a Japanese school girl considering his love for Forever21.
*both Feroxi Khans snicker to themselves*
Lucina: Yo, Ferox! Look at me! Am I Japanese school girl to you guys? No! I may be the female version of Marth right here but I'm not obsessed with Forever21 as much as he does. So stop complaining that Forever21 is a preppy store! I can read your minds! Working for that green dinosaur, huh? I used to be one of those Hot Topic Freaks, not anymore! Since I joined my father in the MemeMemeMeme Brigade group, I never gave a shit to insult the american apparel store so keep this in mind! Forever21 is NOT a preppy Mall Store!
Basilio: That princess has a point right there. But why is she helping another Kanton in this debate?
Flavia: I wonder if they are...! Cheaters!
Falco: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No disqualifications here! We play fair in AJRA and we keep rules fair and square. So let's move down the list shall we? Alright, with the Ylisseans! Reflet?
Reflet: Nothing much. Moved to my new house just on the sloping hill above my apartment.
Falco: That's pretty quick. In which part of Ylisse do you live in?
Reflet: Pratteln.
Falco: No way! That's where I live too!
Reflet: Come over for snacks and tea!
Falco: Sure will! Alright... Lucina?
Lucina: Horrible. I tried teaching father on how to drive, it was wayyyy off. Traveled through the middle of the round about/roadery, missed a Yield sign, almost ran into an Trans AJRA 18 wheeler while joining the highway, didn't halt at the red light, joined in with the inter crossing traffic right away, and finally parallel parked awkwardly giving the poor Opel Zafira's tail lights and bumper to hang down loosely along with the headlights of a Renault Kangoo to appear the same.
Cheif Risen*laughs*: Aruraruraruraruraruraur!
Chrom: But your Honda CRV sucked!
Lucina: So? It doesn't matter WHICH car you practice on, it's basically your skills on HOW you drive!
Chrom: Gods to Nordsee, Lucina! Too late. Thanks to Robin and Reflet for instructing me on how to correctly drive, can you please tell me how I won my 2010 Nissan Qashqai+2 in White?
Lucina: It was from a stupid ass giveaway led by your favourite artist Rappy McRapperson! You wanted to win that badly because you thought you'd own your Ripstick like Rappy does!
Chrom: Well, it's my choice to drive so thus I got my Qashqai with me, Fishstick edition.
Falco: Father and daughter arguing. Love that. Last but not least, I want to hear from our atheist right here. How was your weekend?
Chrom: Not bad. Since the whole driving thing was over, and I finally got my Qashqai, me and Lissa were on our way to Bruderholz to pay a visit to Sumia when all of a sudden this stray 4 year old girl decided to cross the tram tracks, unaware of the green BVB tram approaching her with full speed. I instantly pulled over to the side, and got out, dashing towards the girl who was about 3 meters away. With the tram driver- who happened to be Henry of course, rang the bell in annoyance and moved on down Bruderholzweg in a flash. I asked the girl her name and with a innocent sweet voice she said "Anina". It really brought a smile to my face considering I discussed with Lissa about rather calling child services or not about the stray toddler. Back on our way home, she started to fidget in Lissa's arms and surprisingly called me "Papi"- *chuckles* You know how European children are with their parents.
*crowd: Awwwwwww...*
Falco: How sweet. How long did you keep her?
Chrom: At the best about 2 weeks. I know it's quite long, but me and Lucina had a fun time together with her. She even slapped me awake with my Samsung Galaxy Tab S- hence the cracked screen right here.
Falco: Ouch, better go to Re-Tech for that. I'm afraid we have to move onto question 2 now. Should we change the national anthem of AJRA into the Barney song?
Ike: Hell to the no!
Invisible Kingdom:...
Cheif Risen: Herrraaaauughhhh Yaaaaasssss! (Hell yes!)
Lucina: Talk about kids TV shows, don't let him in the MemeMemeMeme Brigade at all!
Garon: George would love that!
Sumeragi: I can sense green dinosaur wears cute flower on forehead.
Reflet: Oh please! No Yoshi's allowed in this debate.
Chrom: It's Baby Bop for Naga's sake!
Lucina: Thank you father.
Fado: Is Barney yellow?
Garon: Dumbass! That's BJ!
Desmond: Never heard of it.
Zephiel: No clue.
Basilio: I LOVE Barney!
Flavia: BJ rocks!
Marth: Since I'm in the MemeMemeMeme Brigade, I guess it would fit since that's Shulk's second faviourite song next to Tingalayo the donkey.
Lucina: He's sooooo obsessed with donkeys like I'm with Owls, father is with Fishsticks, Ike is with Chickens, Marth is with Forever21, Robin is with pies, and Douche is with doughnuts. Seriously, what is with our desire lately?
Falco: To rule over AJRA and possibly Future Europe.
Flavia and Basilio: Sah-weet!
Falco: But anyway let's-
Reflet: Sorry for the interruption but since you live in Pratteln too, I just have a small question concerning the town. Everyday at 3:10, I always hear this strange sound-
Garon *snickers*: Was it like this? *proceeds to fart extremely loud*
All candidates including host: O.o
Garon: Blame the bean wraps.
Lucina *mutters*: Robin, Cia, and Douche's faviourite.
Reflet: Not exactly, but I guess I could accept that.
Falco: Oh my gods, Garon. What did you eat lately?
Garon: I just said it for Nohr's sake! Ask my witness George over here!
*Turtle reveals behind Garon's leg*
Garon: See?
Lucina: At least it's much better than Palutena.
All candidates with Falco: Agreed.
Falco: Alright, moving on to question 3. Do you think all Erfahren trams in each Kanton should be replaced with all characters from Thomas and Friends?
Ike: Cool with me. Is there a KFC one too?
Invisible Kingdom: ...
Chief Risen: aughhhhh aughhhhhh!
Garon: Puppy ate my lines but Boo.
Sumeragi: Who's Thomas and Friends?
Fado: Hoshido stole my line.
Desmond: I vote Percy!
Zephiel: Gordon! Gordon!
Both Feroxi Khans: Chugga- chugga-chugga-Chugga- THOMAS!
Marth: Since Thomas is blue, I vote him.
Reflet: Nope! Green's better!
Lucina: Agreed with Reflet!
Chrom: Fuck you Ylissean bitches! Thomas is the BEST!
Falco: Alright, alright, so many chatters at once! Hold your horses! Thank you for the responses! I highly appreciate it. Since half of you agreed and the other half didn't, it resulted into a tie. Let's go down to the conclusion of sharing your drawings. Starting with you, Crimea.
Ike: This is me in Chicken Laguz form, enjoying KFC.
Lucina: Why in the world is Ragnell stabbed in the bucket?
Ike: No clue at all.
Falco: Um, okay I guess... Next?
Invisible Kingdom:...
Garon: Dude didn't even draw shit.
Falco: Next?
Cheif Risen: Auurrghh! Aurrghhaaauugh wa! Aughraaaahuuuuu ah!
Lucina: Makes me wanna kill him right now.
Chrom: Just how the hell did he draw that if he's that retarded? Plegia takes over Ylisse? Fuck that! That'll never happen! Plegia today? A newspaper factory in my beloved Kanton? Hell no!
Falco: Alright, maybe we can sort this out. No fights here, just opinions. Nohr?
Garon: This is how George looks like, ain't he a cutie?
Sumeragi: Is he black?
Garon: All turtles are green you idiot.
Lucina: Koopas make an exception.
Fado: Yellow for the win.
Falco: How did you know Koopas were yellow? Congrats Fado! Next?
Sumeragi: This is my Sakura. It's pink.
Garon: Pink flowers are pretty? What the hell? It's fucking blue you idiot.
Falco: Language, Garon.
Sumeragi: Thank you very much.
Falco: Bern?
Desmond: Drew this-
Zephiel: Sad monkey in the cage.
Falco: Splain! (My version of explain.)
Desmond: Well, you see, Bern takes security very seriously so we have a right to lock up a sad monkey.
Chrom: If you want freedom, come to Ylisse!
Falco: Freedom for the win! Ferox?
Basilio: We drew ourselves in our Ferrari driving over the roadkilled Laugz animals.
Flavia: Whoo! Laguz losers!
Ike: Don't make me come over there and stick Ragnell up your asses!
Basilio: Aw... is the kitty jealous and offended?
Flavia: Did we hurt the Poor kitty? Meraow~
Falco: Guys! Stop taunting poor Ike! He could get easily angered like an aggressive rooster!
Ike: Thanks for the backup, Falco. But I'll deal with those two after this debate.
Falco: Deal. Altea?
Marth: Forever 21 Forever in my heart.
Ike: What happened to Moonlight Dance studios?
Marth: I left those for the monkeys.
Desmond and Zephiel: YEAH! *high fives*
Garon: Someone stole my plant from my castle courtyard.
Lucina: Was it George?
Chrom: Worse than George, was it a Risen?
Cheif Risen: Auuugh?
Garon: It's HIM alright! He's the snobby thief that stole George's beloved plant!
Lucina: Weapons unsheathed! It's declared!
Falco: NO! WAIT! STOP!
*crowd breaks into a laugh/surprised cheer as cameras flash from every direction towards the stage*
Chrom: Almost! *Continues to crawl to the side with Galaxy Tab-S in his hand, evading punches, swords, and spears while finishing level 2,375 to Candy Crush Saga.*
*Fado calmly joins by Chrom's side*
Fado: Can I join you?
Chrom: Sure. I don't mind.
*Fado pulls out the Official kids magazine from AJRA's top grocery store known as COOP, along with colored pencils to shade in the street sign "Spiel Strasse (Play Street)" then colors in JaMaDu (Yah-mah-duu) the monkey and his jungle friends*
Ike: *points Ragnell towards the two cringing Khans*: Times up, Ferox. Mock the Gallians and you'll never see the Griffin Kanton again!
Both Feroxi Khans: Oh Naga please help us...
Garon: Ha! Take this! *swings Brave sword to cut left arm off*
Cheif Risen: Aaauuurghh!
Garon: George would love this arm for dinner tonight!
Desmond: ROAR! We are the Black Bearz!
Zephiel: Give us more monkeys tonight for exchange with dolphins!
Marth: Alright!
*The king of Altea starts dancing with the two Berner rulers for no reason at all*
Sumeragi: Greetings, Invisible Kingdom.
Invisible Kingdom:...
Lucina: This is crazy. Falco? Any suggestions on how we can end this?
Reflet: Hey, you started the war, Lucy. You end it.
Falco: Reflet's right. Think of a way to end this... I got it! *picks up main microphone* HOOOONNNDAAA PIIIILLLOOOTSSS FOOOOR THUUUUHHHH WIIIIINNN! *cue loud squeals from microphone*
*Every candidate halts in his tracks and averts their attention towards the host*
Falco: Ahem, thank you. Dad Marth didn't show us his drawing yet. Chrom?
*Everyone is back standing infront of the podium except for Chrom who was focused hard core on Candy Crush Saga*
Chrom: No! Why the hell did I miss that!
Falco: Lord Chrom.
Lucina: He'll never listen! *walks over and snatches the tablet, stabbing the device with Parallel Falchion* That's what you get for not listening to the host!
Chrom: You owe me another Galaxy Tab! In that case! *heads over to Lucina currently walking to the podium when he swiftly swipes her lunar blue Cosmicgate Nova E5 from her hands* Take that bitch!
*Crowd: Ooooooohhhhhh!*
Garon: Did you just call your own daughter a bitch?
Chrom: Yup. I just hope to Nordsee that Sumia doesn't find out.
*Back in Bruderholz, Ylisse-Stadt, Sumia calmly sips tea while watching the debate on TV, her eyes widened in shock to hear the Exalt of Ylisse insult his daughter live in a debate.*
Sumia: Why Chrom. Just why?
Lucina: Too late. She already did.
Chrom: Damn.
Falco: Getting back to the subject here.
Chrom: Oh right, sorry. I portrayed myself as a brown bear roaring with victory over a fishstick stabbed in the middle of Grima's dead fell dragon body. Refer to the battle flag of Gossau.
Zephiel: What the hell? It's not Black!
Chrom: What's wrong with brown?
Reflet: Complimenting my eye color huh?
Falco: That's really great, Chrom for I want you to name 10 nouns in 5 seconds! Ready...set...GO!
Chrom: fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick, fish stick!
Lucina *facepalm*: Why the hell are you so damn stupid father!?
Falco: Okay...accepted!- At least Roy's words made sense and he actually tried BUT whatever! Last session of this debate! Crowd's vote on laws of AJRA! National religion and god/goddess? Let's vote!
Naga 0%
Grima 0%
Ashera 0%
Lucina: Finally, we now have the right to spread God's word and the good news to AJRA!
Chrom *covers ears in annoyance*: La La La La La! I'm not listening!
Reflet: Proverbs 14:34- "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people."
Lucina: Psalms 140:2- "Those who plan evil things in thier hearts; they continually gather together for war."
Chrom: Tell that to Plegia! Not me!
Garon: I'm liking this religion!
Lucina: It's not a religion you idiot but a grace and joy to belive in Him. This is why I transformed all Catholic churches into the REAL church.
Chrom *sniffs sadly*: You're destroying my precious Kanton!
Lucina *pulls out Falchion and points the tip towards the exalt's chest in advance warning* I'm saving the Kanton for God's sake. And you have no right to interfere. Oh! I wonder all along, why is this dirty atheist part of the holy Smash Bros fan group known as the MemeMemeMeme Brigade even if you don't want to read a SINGLE letter in this wonderful book? Please father, make your decision now.
Chrom: Lucina?
Lucina *Kneels down as if in defeat with Falchion clanged on the stage floor beside her* It says in the end as He returns, we will go into war and kill all of the unbelievers, and that includes you...
Chrom: Pff! Bullshit! Why would you kill me in the first place? I'm your father after all!
Lucina: Face the consequence soon if you don't make your decision now. There is still time. Keep that in your fishsticky brain. Falco?
Falco: Oh my god, I don't even know what to say. Well, let's bring up the FINAL votes to this 2 hour debate! Crowd votes on who gets to RULE AJRA!
Let the votes BEGIN!
*A few minutes of silence begins as each candidate prays with hope and worry, Sumeragi began to cry while Garon hugs George's shell tightly. Desmond and Zephiel hang on Marth's shoulder as all three stare at the blank screen with worry. Ike calmly snacks on fried chicken as he acts as if it's cool. The Invisible Kingdom was invisible while the Khans of Ferox began flapping their arms like griffins and making squawking calls. The one armed Chief Risen limped around, awkwardly mumbling "aurghhhhh..." repeatedly. Both Lucina and Reflet had their hands crossed and bowed down to make a meaningful prayer to God that Ylisse wins this debate and Lucina can run AJRA correctly. And last but not least, Chrom was once again hot on Candy Crush Saga secretly installed on Lucina's Nova tablet as he worked his way up towards level 2,999.*
*Cue serious beats from Want To Be a Millionare?*
Chrom of Ylisse (with Lucina and Reflet) 94.27%
Marth of Altea 81.46%
Basilio and Flavia of Ferox 1%
Desmond and Zephiel of Bern 37.16%
Sumeragi of Hoshido 44.69%
Garon of Nohr 54.34%
Grima of Plegia (Chief Risen) 31.67%
Invisible Kingdom 26.15%
Ike of Crimea 71.34%
Lucina: No way, father! We won!
Chrom: Level 3,000 bitches!
Basilio: WTF? Were last!?
Flavia: Even the Invisible Kingdom got some votes and it didn't even show up through out the debate!
Sumeragi: Arigato. This was a good debate. Everything is white.
Fado: Agreed
Garon: Why the Fishstick retard and not me!?
Cheif Risen: Uhhk Ouuu Kooomm! (Fuck you, Chrom!)
Reflet: Dream come true.
Desmond: Whatever! Back to-
Zephiel: Black Bear LAND!
Desmond: Let's go Black Bearz!
Zephiel: Alright!
*Both Berner rulers warp towards the ceiling*
Ike: He did well, Long John Silver style.
Marth: Even though he's into fishsticks- hence his last name by "John Silver", he's a well deserved member into the MemeMemeMeme Brigade.
*crowd continues to cheer until it fades out*
*Shows the outside building of the St. Jakob Halle, everyone gathered out for a laugh and fun talk.*
Cheif Risen: Auugghhhhhhh!
Lucina: What's his problem?
Reflet *shrugs*: His agony of losing.
Chrom: From what I understood he probably said "Spare me Grima, for not winning this debate and taking over Ylisse! I'm sorry!"
*The Ylissean candidates laugh as one as a 1999 dark green Renault Twingo and 2007 nighthawk black pearl metallic Volkswagen Touran appears, both vehicles parking neatly as the engines cut off and both Douche and Robin proceed to hug the new king of AJRA along with Cia coming out last*
Douche: We watched the whole thing on TV! Congradulations!
Robin: Garon really let out a 'rip' through the debate? I couldn't stop laughing right there. It was too funny!
Cia: I missed the whole thing. What exactly happned?
Lucina *facepalms and sighs*: You really have to say that? It was right in front of you 3 minutes ago!
Cia: Oh...
Sumia: Chrom!
Chrom *turns around*: What? *gasp* Sumia! I'm so sorry for calling my own daughter a bitch. Please forgive me.
Sumia: No need to forgive, captain. At least Ylisse rules AJRA now.
Anina: Papi!
Chrom: What the hell? Sumia? You brought her here?
Sumia: Yeah, why? Her parents dropped her off to my house a few minutes ago. Decided I came here for a walk just to see you.
Chrom: Aw that's so sweet.
Lucina: Well, father. I'm sorry for being aggressive on you but please just read a single letter from this book please! *Holds up navy blue Bible (Gideons New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs in gold)*
Chrom: Ok! *opens book to Ephesians* D *closes book and hands it back*
Lucina *scoffs*: Father! Wait!
Chrom: Can't catch me! *runs off towards green BVB Be 4/6 tram loaded with passengers*
Lucina: Father this isn't funny! *knocks on the door while Chrom sticks his tongue out in a playful way*
Chrom: Bye Lucy! I'm off to Nordsee in Weil Am Rhein! (While-Um-Rhine)
Lucina: Father! *tram speeds away*
Reflet: Well, at least he's happy.
Lucina: Yeah... his fishsticky heaven with Rappy.
Keypoints about the story:
-Rulers Reka and Arctoro are my OC's. They don't pretty much belong to any FE games.
-Smartphone and Tablet company Cosmicgate (Discovery E5 and Nova E5) are made up and it's not real, just my OWN creation. All rights reserved.
-Nordsee, that Chrom everytime refers to, is a european sea food restaurant located in Weil Am Rhein, Future Germany Aka Bionis.
- I made Fado and Sumeragi suffer from thier color blind condition because I just found it randomly a perfect personality.
-All FE locations in AJRA are now modernized and evolved. No hint of middle aged stuff in this amazing country. (except for cathedrals, churches, forts, buildings, towers, villages from all of the games)
Want to see every Cadidate's drawing!? Click here! http://falco276.webs.com/apps/photos/album?albumid=15953982
Finally finished!
Took me days but oh well.
Yeah, I am officially a proud citizen of this country and looking forward to resume Smash Wars one day.
Hope you enjoyed the debate/Election!
Kudos please and faviourite, and download if you like! :D
Falco276 out!