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Phil grumbled as he entered the forest. A ‘beast’, really? he questioned as he entered the supposed monster’s dwellings. He had slain corrupted kings and greedy bandits, and now he had to kill a cat. Not even a dragon or some kind of horrific monster. A cat. Great.
Light shone in broken patterns through the thick foliage – still no sign of that feline. He had looked for some sign, maybe scratches on the trees or half-eaten carcases (what do giant cats even do anyway?), but this beast clearly didn’t want any visitors. Moreover, with the damned abundance of trees in this area it would be impossible to find the cat in any other way other than by foot. Still, he walked on, foraging anything useful as he searched for his target.
An open plain had looked promising, given the apparent size of the thing, but luck hadn’t exactly accompanied the man. Instead, he found a herd of sheep with a lovely Labrador guarding them, meaning a shepherd to accompany them, meaning a person trekked this plain, meaning-
“Hey! What are you doing over there?”
Shit.
How’s a man supposed to explain he’s peaceful with the looks of a bandit? The easiest way out of this is probably… up. Guess the field was better for some things.
Phil pressed against the ground and took flight, the dirt around him swarming upwards into a cloud of dust. He flew above the treeline and dashed in what he hoped was the direction of the cat. After flying for what he deemed long enough to avoid any other shepherd in the forest – which really, if there’s supposed to be a giant wild animal around here, why would you bring a herd near? – Phil slowed to a glide. He found a small hill in the otherwise flat terrain and perched himself on a tree. He caught his breath and took a gulp out of his flask before starting to take in his surroundings. Sparrows chirped as they fluttered between the trees and wrens continued their songs without being disturbed. Yet something felt off. There lacked the sounds of hares scuttering around or deer gently munching on leaves. Phil climbed down and went to inspect nearby caves. Although there were signs of animals having previously lived there, there were zero signs of pumas or bears or any type of predator living in the area. Right. Giant cat.
Phil made his way further down the hill and found what looked like a larger opening, mostly covered with vines and creeping ivy. He slowly parted the greenery, making it move in a way that resembled the wind and quickly replacing the shadow with his own. He was invisible. His eyesight adjusted to the decrease in light and – yep that was definitely a giant cat.
Completely covered in silky black fur was a beast.
After the opening, there was a steep fall to reach the floor of the cave, and there he found what he had been hunting. He had found the beast (fine, he now understood the sentiment to call something that large a beast) thankfully sleeping.
He looked around and found a pile of bones in a corner, an amount that he guessed would amount to the whole prey population of the hill plus those horses and sheep from the nearby village. At least there’s no human skulls in that pile, he thought, then again, the bones were the size of fish bones relative to the beast and so could be easily swallowed, meaning that there might be skulls just – Phil shuddered, rather not think about that.
He looked to the other side of the cave, which was apparently empty, except for the remains of a previously lit fire, the ash almost seemed to still be lit with ambers flickering and giving out their final amber light…
Technoblade was bored. Incredibly bored. The man had been walking for the past five hours with absolutely no signs of a ‘terrifying creature, the height of two men and length of seven, lightning grey eyes fractured by obsidian slits…’ and on, and on. What really mattered to Techno was the very large sum of money attached to the promise of bringing its head back to the capital. But it was simply so boring. He couldn’t even risk bringing Carl along since the rumours of the beast had been accompanied by many dead horses. And bringing a dog along to try to sniff out the beast he deemed a bit risky considering it was apparently feline. It’s not like he had anything to possibly trace it with anyway…
He kept on walking, finding absolutely nothing. Seriously – nothing. Not even wild animals. Techno had expected to see vultures at some point, considering the likely size of remains the beast would be leaving behind, but there was nothing. Finding a stream, Technoblade decided to follow upwards, maybe find a higher vantage point and hopefully see some kind of sign of where the beast lay (preferably very large and with a big red arrow and letters spelling out ‘beast lair’).
He found himself eventually walking up a hill, and still no trace of any animals. Except birds, which was unfortunate since their chirping was quickly becoming very annoying. Just as he was about to turn around and leave the search for the next day, something flashed across his eyes. It was a small light, gone as quickly as it came, and it could’ve simply been the sun finding its way through the dense trees. Well, I guess we’re following the suspicious glint coming from the suspiciously well-covered cave.
When he reached the vines and ivy, Techno slowly parted them and took a look inside. He first saw the beast, apparently just waking up and that is a large animal, this is going to be so messy, it’ll take so many hacks of an axe to cut through the head, it’s going to be extremely annoying carrying that all the way back. What he found next was a man at the same level as him, talons digging deep into the soil – which, talons? he would question that later – as he precariously hanged, one hand wrapped tightly around ivy and the other holding a short blade. He guessed he had also seen the reward for killing the beast and this was quickly becoming a lot less fun (sharing a reward is simply not an option, and the man didn’t seem like the type to be easily convinced, even after being given good reasons such as: I won’t shoot you with this crossbow).
The confusing part was that this man wasn’t getting ready to jump down and slash at the beast – good idea, what harm could that tiny blade even do? – he was simply holding it outwards, making it reflect against the sunlight. The man was completely unaware of Technoblade’s presence, which would be perfect for taking out his unwanted rival, but he was too curious as to what he could possibly be doing. Techno slowly neared the other man as the beast yawned, moving completely silently to mask his presence in case things went sour. Once he was close enough Techno glanced down to where the other man was looking to see… the beast attempting to catch the reflected light.
“Is this really your plan?” he whispered.
The other man visibly flinched, darting his eyes to Techno, but made no noise. Yup, this man wouldn’t agree to let me take the money easily. He shifted to put his guard up as best as he could while still focusing on moving his blade in a way that distracted the beast.
“What are you- whatever it doesn’t matter,” the other man spoke quickly, “I don’t know if you were also hired to kill that thing, but right now there’s a little kid also in that cave so, yes, my plan is currently distracting the beast so I can jump down there and get the kid out.”
“You even got a plan to get back up?”
The man looked almost disappointed to Techno as he gave him a flat stare. He wordlessly answered by spreading one of his ebony wings, and really, how was Techno supposed to know about those when they had been kept tightly against the man’s back? He now took in his blond hair tied back and well-worn clothes, distressed leather similar to his own. He also saw the slight frown and set off his jaw, concern for a child he apparently didn’t even know. Techno looked down and indeed found the child, asleep with his knees to his chest and sandy locks blocking his face.
“Well, I think my plan of simply killing the thing is much more effective and would avoid all these unnecessary child-rescuing manoeuvres, but go ahead, guess I’ll stay up here till you’re done.”
The man definitively looked disappointed now, verging on exasperated, at Techno’s lack of care for the kid. With a huffed ‘fine’, the man descended to the child, with the beast as far away as possible. The man was fast and he reached the kid in seconds, but the beast, having lost sight of the light was faster to perk his ears and turn around, immediately ready to pounce. With his back turned the man couldn’t see, couldn’t react, couldn’t run or fight or anything. He was dead.
Just as he was going to wrap his arms around the child, Phil heard the hunter land and huff out a breath. He turned to see the cat pounce, with the hunter managing to grace the underside of his paw with a raised axe, throwing the animal off course. The landing reverberated around the cave and Phil was quick to take on a fighting stance.
“You good?” he questioned the hunter. He guessed the huff he earned in response was affirmative.
The beast stood mere metres from them, a single step and it could easily claw at both of them. He locked eyes with the beast, a storm raging only broken by a sharp pupil, and eyes completely focused to kill. Phil took in a deep breath, ready. For a few seconds, no one moved.
“Woah there guys,” and a child was now in front of them, holding out his hands out to both him and the beast, “he could seriously hurt you both you know.”
“Heh?”
“No idea, mate,” Phil responded to the unspoken what is even happening?
“Guys, I really think he would appreciate it if you two backed off,” the child said. Phil glanced behind the kid to the beast, who had stopped leaning forward ready to pounce, but was still very much ready to fight.
“I think we would appreciate it more if that thing backed off,” the hunter sounded more annoyed than confused, and still held his axe tightly.
“Well you guys did jump into his home armed, hoping to kill him by the look of things, so the least you could do now is drop your weapons,” the child smiled, as if that wasn’t the most stupid thing they could do when trapped in a cave with a beast ten feet in front of them.
“No.”
“Not doing that, mate.”
“Well,” the kid dragged on the l, and yeah Phil could start to understand why the hunter was so annoyed. “What can you do for me then? In exchange for not letting him eat you and all that.”
“This kid can’t be serious.”
Phil sighed. Although he had no clue how a child could possibly come to be – friends? Phil wasn’t sure if that was exactly the right word for what he was seeing – but the beast was eyeing the kid in a very different way, as if ready to protect rather than kill. “What do you want kid?”
“Food.”
The two men silently looked at each other, both with an expression portraying doubt in a ‘that’s too good to be true’ way.
“I think it’d still be easier to just kill the thing.”
“Ignore him,” Phil cut in, “that’s all you want… food?”
“Ah, no,” the child now had a smug smile on his face, “obviously I want more than just that,” a scoff, “but for now food.”
“I think I am adjusting my plan and we should now kill both–“
“Here,” Phil reached for his rucksack and dug out a loaf of bread and some dried meat. It wasn’t much since he had expected this to be a short journey, but he extended his hand so the kid could take it anyway. The child took a tentative step forward, simultaneously making a ‘down’ gesture with his hand behind his back, to which the beast immediately laid down. The beast almost looked annoyed, at the lack of fight or food, Phil couldn’t tell. The child took the food from his hands and went straight to eating, barely taking a breath between each bite.
“Name’s Tommy, by the way,” he said between mouthfuls.
“Philza, and he’s…” he said, gesturing to the other man.
“Technoblade,” the hunter – Technoblade – spoke. And, of course, Phil would get stuck with the infamous blood god. “And are you gonna care to explain how in the hell that thing just listened to you?”
Tommy considered both of them for a moment, still chewing, as if assessing if they were worth telling the story to. “Met him when he was small.”
“… how small are we talking, because I don’t see that thing being any smaller than a dog,” Technoblade questioned, now apparently more interested in what Tommy could say.
“Uhhh, what do you call them? Panthers? Like pumas but all black – saw a drawing of one in a book I think,” Tommy looked above like the answers would fall from the sky, “Yeah, panthers. About that size, bit bigger probably.”
“Exactly how long ago was that?” Phil looked behind the kid at the beast, now a lot bigger than a ‘panther’ or puma.
“Around two years?” Tommy answered. Phil continued to question him, with Technoblade sprinkling in some questions of his own (and slowly seeming to respect the kid more). Tommy had left his village when he was ten, his parents had died when he was too young to remember them, and he had never quite fit into the family that had taken him in. Leaving his old home had promises of adventure and even “training to be a knight, like! how cool is that!”. What he’d found instead was a less than warm welcome to his lack of family name or land or riches, “knights are lame anyways,” Technoblade had reassured him. So he had taken to stealing in order to eat, and had been following a shepherd from a distance when he’d met Shadow.
(“Shadow? Really couldn’t be more original kid,” Technoblade had huffed.
“Shadow is a good name!” Tommy raged, “It perfectly describes him – he’s all black and he’s sneaky and cool, literally a shadow.”
“You cannot convince me a thing that size could be sneaky—”
“Technoblade, he was ten when he came up with it.”
“That has nothing to do with it!! I AM NOT A CHILD.”)
Shadow had indeed been small when Tommy met him, and he started hunting with him. It turned out to be more successful than stealing, and he got a friendship no other person had offered him. Shadow was quick to grow though, and needed a lot more food than before. Their usual routine was like this: Tommy would go survey one of the villages surrounding the forest, counting the number of sheep and cattle, as well as men and horses, and memorising shepherd and guard schedules to time their attack. At the most convenient point, Shadow would scare the herds into the forest, at which point they could eat them leisurely for some time before going to the next village. Mysterious disappearances of livestock and the giant feline roaming the forest did not, however, go unnoticed, meaning an increase in guards, the direct hiring of ‘professionals’ by the crown (such as Philza) and the putting up of posters with promised prizes (which had lured in Technoblade). All in all, it had turned a bit harder for Tommy and Shadow to survive.
Technoblade and Philza had been the first to find them, but they wouldn’t be the last.
“Okay, so we’ve got a massive cat and a ten-year-old (“I’m not ten anymore!”), what’s the plan now?” Technoblade sighed, once again annoyed by the mere existence of a child in his nearby space, “I still need to get my reward you know.”
“Technoblade, if anything I’ve heard about you is right,” which, Philza thought, judging by the fact that the physical description and general attitude were so far accurate (gruff man with flowing pink hair who had seen the end of tens of wars and now couldn’t be bothered to care for anything, continuing to hunt for the thrill, and so rich enough from winnings to afford a small castle), “You don’t need the money.”
“Doesn’t mean I won’t take the reward from killing that thing.”
“Stop calling Shadow a thing!” Tommy wailed, who had now moved to sit on top of Shadow and softly carded his hands through the fur behind his ears. Shadow purred, which was not something Philza thought he’d ever hear coming from that beast. “And you can’t kill him, he’d literally eat you alive (“I’d like to disagree with that”). Anyways, what you’re gonna do, since I’m so kindly letting you stay alive, is take me and Shadow to a tavern. I haven’t been to one in forever, so I’d like some real food, and Shadow here has run out of sheep. You’ll both protect us from any other bounty hunters/hired killers, and then I’ll let you go.” Tommy finished with a smile.
“I think I must’ve missed the part where I got my reward kid,” Technoblade said, unimpressed.
“Your reward is not dying,” Tommy still held a shit-eating grin.
“Look,” Phil sighed, “how about we get moving for now? I doubt we’re the only ones roaming the forest in search of a big cat and staying still would be quite stupid. We can argue about rewards and taverns on the way.”
To this, the other two seemed content enough to agree, and Tommy was quick to wake up Shadow, who had drifted off. Big or small, Phil mused, cats still sleep 18 hours a day. Shadow stayed low for a few seconds, looking expectantly at Technoblade and Phil.
“There’s no way I’m getting on that thing.”
“What’s your plan then, big guy, walk alongside Shadow?” Tommy questioned Technoblade, “As Phil said, we don’t have the time for all this grumbling.”
Technoblade looked to Phil to back him up, but Phil simply shrugged. “I’m flying above to scout, mate. You’re gonna have to get on.”
With no further complaints, except some more grumbles, Techno heaved himself on top of the cat, a little unsteady at first but grabbing on firmly. Shadow shook his body slightly, which at first looked as if he was further waking himself up, but the look of ‘cat that got the cream’ as soon as Technoblade held tighter and his expression gave away some stress told Phil otherwise. Now content, Shadow started crawling out of the cave, Phil flying alongside. Once out, Phil soared above the treeline, making sure to stay directly above Shadow while making sure no one else was near. They travelled quickly and silently through the forest, thankfully with no undesired encounters.
As he flew, Phil started to consider the wild situation he’d stumbled into. A child with nowhere to go with a beast as a pet, and oh, don’t forget to add in the (likely bloodthirsty) bounty hunter. This was supposed to be simple, so how had it turned more complicated than dismantling a kingdom from the inside out? Now he had to take care of a kid with so far very little concern for his own life – Phil and Technoblade didn’t exactly look friendly, yet Tommy had approached them with zero fear – and prevent Technoblade from ripping the cat’s throat. And deal with Shadow. Which, really, how was he meant to know how to deal with a mammoth of a cat?
Once the sun had set, Phil descended and landed on Shadow with some hesitance. He found Tommy rambling on about the ‘hundreds’ of reasons why Shadow could ‘easily’ kill Technoblade, with Technoblade completely ignoring him. Still set on the reward, Phil guessed.
“Is Shadow like a normal cat? Does he lose whiskers and claws, Is there anything we could show to prove that we ‘killed’ the beast?” Philza cut into Tommy’s continuous prattle, really the kid would not stop. Phil was quite frankly annoyed at the inability to cooperate of the other two, compromise people, compromise. “I mean I don’t think they expect us to bring in a head of that size,” (at this, Shadow looked quite offended), “so it should be fine to just bring in that as proof. You still get your reward, and Shadow doesn’t die.”
“Of course, just the tiny issue of hiding a gigantic cat and the tonnes of food it requires,” Technoblade deadpanned, as if rolling with eyes without even having to do so.
“If you’d let me finish,” Philza was seriously being driven mad by these two, “I know of an abandoned castle we could use, very remote and surrounded by forests. The current fauna should be enough to feed Shadow for a few months, which gives us time to figure out the food situation.”
“That sounds like some real fun you’re gonna have,” Technoblade huffed a fake laugh, and it really shouldn’t have surprised Phil but, he’s not staying after we get the reward. Tommy, who had looked entertained by the discussion between the two men now looked down at Shadow’s fur, for the first time completely expressionless. Phil understood.
Aiming to distract, Phil turned to Tommy and asked him about his adventures with Shadow so far, tales of times when Shadow got spooked by a rat squeaking and ran tail between his legs, or when one time he had to hide him between stacks of hay as soldiers passed through the farm. Phil came to know Shadow more as the literal big cat he was, even getting to see it in action with his ears perked up and pupils completely dilated as he started chasing after some sparrows (which he caught none of, and almost made all of them fall off), and less as the massive beast lurking in the shadows. He also learnt of Tommy, still somewhat careless but because he completely trusted Shadow and cared for him with his whole heart, like he was some long-lost brother he had finally found. Phil then told some of his own stories, mainly leaving out the bloodshed and focusing on the pompous kings and useless bandits who hadn’t seen him coming until it was too late. When Shadow grew tired and they settled around a campfire to sleep for the night, even Technoblade shared a few of his adventures, expertly capturing the settings of his many wars – Phil could almost see him painting a canvas with red, white for the striking sun and the hundreds of bodies littering barren fields and the thousands of soldiers still alive thanks to well-thought plans.
Techno did not enjoy waking up early. At all. Let alone at the crack of dawn like the bird-man lunatic he now had to travel with had forced him to. “We need to keep moving” was all he’d said before depositing a sleeping child in his arms and gesturing for him to get on Shadow. Now Phil was once again flying above while he kept watch of Tommy (mainly making sure he didn’t roll off in his sleep) and made sure Shadow didn’t suddenly turn feral. Which is a real possibility, I’m not trusting the cat until I get the reward and he’s out of my sight.
And look, it’s not like Techno needs the reward, like at all. With the wars alone he had made enough to live peacefully till the end of his days in some desolate manor where no one could bother him. Could even afford to have the hundreds of dogs and extensive farms and ample armoury he could ever wish for. But he’d be bored. Once you’re done with wars, with the leading and the tactics and the death, what else is there to do for a retired soldier? So he travelled, or more roamed the various kingdoms with little direction, taking on odd missions and bounties no one else would take. Of course it’d be in Las Nevadas where he’d find a poster about a beast that would lead him to get stuck with a child, a bird-man and a big cat.
It's not exactly like Techno had a problem with Philza – he was probably one of the few people who could begin to understand his reasoning – he was simply annoyed by the situation. The few times he’d sat down to eat at taverns he’d avoided overhearing the locals (the constant talks of war, glory and politics from people who’d never suffered was insufferable), but he had heard of the man with obsidian wings. They talked of a man who was traded between kingdoms as a prized weapon, a man who’d strike when the time was exactly right and would end wars in a matter of seconds, avoiding bloodshed and the deaths of innocents. They described a ruthless killer. Techno had found someone different – not a man exchanged between rulers but one who studied every conflict he came across and supported the right opponent, whichever would reign peacefully. He found a man who saw a lost child and immediately took him in, as well as the stray cat attached to his hip. Someone who knew of Technoblade, the blood god, and didn’t run.
At some point, the trees parted to an open field which stretched on without end. Philza descended at this.
“I’ll be able to see the same amount up there than from here,” he huffed from exertion, “Plus, I didn’t get much sleep, so gotta rest before someone decides it’s the perfect time to ambush us.”
“If only someone wouldn’t have woken us up at dawn.” Techno sighed, looking up at the sky.
“We needed to get mov—”
“Ah, if only. We wouldn’t be tired and concerned about a child tumbling down in his sleep.” Techno joined Philza in his laugh, but did still notice Philza reaching out to grip Tommy.
“So,” Techno waited until Philza’s eyes locked with his, moving away from Tommy, “you got hired to kill Shadow?”
“Yeah. I had met the king of Las Nevadas once or twice beforehand, but I guess he figured out enough about me then to be able to track me down as quickly as he did. His second-in-command brought me in to speak with him and he hired me to, his words, not mine, ‘kill the pest of a cat living in the forest’,” Shadow growled, to which Philza responded by petting him, “again his words Shadow, I would never say that about you.”
Techno chuckled at Philza’s I-definitely-have-called-you-a-pest-before face, but Shadow thankfully didn’t notice.
“Didn’t see you as the kind of man to be in with the Nevadas king,” Techno wondered, Phil, the moral mercenary, and Quackity, the extremely efficient and power-hungry ruler.
“You just haven’t met the guy. There’s a good reason why the tales of a ‘greedy king’ start and end at his enemies’ borders. And either way, a job’s a job, I don’t discriminate between who’s asking – and neither do you it seems.”
“I was bored and thought a ‘giant cat’ cloak would be a great addition to my wardrobe,” Technoblade deadpanned, and Phil tried to silence his laugh as Shadow growled. “Don’t worry Shadow, I prefer red.”
At this, Phil couldn’t stop his laughter, even with Shadow showing a glint of a very large fang.
The two fall into an easy conversation for what feels like seconds but must surely be hours as the sun rises above them, with the soft rocking of Shadow’s moving and the sighs of a sleeping child.
Phil can pick the exact moment when all hell broke loose: Tommy waking up.
“I’m hungry.”
“Morning mate, but I’m afraid you’ll have to wait till we get to the tavern. Shouldn’t be too far now.”
“But. I’m hungry.”
“Thanks for repeating kid, didn’t hear you the first time.” Technoblade huffed, but still looking entertained at Tommy’s antics. Tommy made a face and Technoblade chuckled.
He was determinedly less entertained when Tommy got a glint in his eyes and gave a sharp tug at Shadow’s fur, causing the animal to bolt and almost throwing both him and Technoblade off, with Technoblade screeching a strangled “heh!?”.
“Tommy—” Philza tried to hold on tighter, but his talons only seemed to worsen the speed, “Tommy—shit—ha, how do we stop him, Tommy?”
Tommy was holding on without issue, and actually lifted a hand to yawn, the little shit. “Dunno,” he grinned.
“Tommy,” Technoblade was stern, “we need to stop this thing before it gets us completely off track.”
“Hey! Don’t call Shadow a thing,” Tommy said, indignant. Phil was sure he’d see Shadow eyeing Technoblade meanly if he wasn’t single-mindedly determined to run away from whatever was latching on to it.
“I will be calling it a thing for as long as he keeps running and—woah, okay, jumping—and can you just make him stop!?”
“Or what? It’s not like you can offer me any food.”
“What could a ten-year-old possibly want.”
“I told you I’m not—whatever. Guess I’ll let Shadow keep going till he stops. Last time it was only… about six hours?” Tommy could not look more delighted at the distraught expression Technoblade pulled.
“Fine Tommy, we’ll give you whatever you want.” Technoblade sighed, giving in.
“Well, Techno – can I call you Techno? (“no—“) Eh, I’m doing it anyway – what you can give me, now that we’ve agreed to anything I want, is a sword.”
Technoblade (or Techno now, Philza thought) blinked. “A sword?”
“Yup. A cool one.”
“Sure?” Techno said slowly, expecting Tommy to start demanding more.
“Woah, mate, not sure if we should give the kid a sword,” Phil said, slightly alarmed. He had been content to let the two ‘negotiate’ (bicker) once he was well adjusted to a running cat, but giving a child a sword, especially when said child was a menace, seemed a bit too far. “He’ll hurt himself.”
“I will not.” Tommy said petulantly. Technoblade had completely ignored Phil and handed a small sword to Tommy (or realistically what would’ve been a dagger to Techno). Tommy beamed and started making grabby hands at the sword, but just before he could reach it, Techno snatched it back.
“Nuh uh,” Techno chided, “You’ve gotta stop Shadow first.”
Tommy’s face went flat. “Fine,” he rolled his eyes.
“SHADOW!” Tommy screeched at the top of his lungs. Although he probably shared the same expression, Phil chuckled at Techno’s face of pure shock and bewilderment. All at once Shadow halted, more likely at the sheer volume rather than his name, but he stopped nonetheless.
“That… that was all we had to do.” Techno dejectedly handed over the sword to Tommy.
“Yup,” Tommy was ecstatic. He held the sword in his hands and felt out the weight before holding it outwards to point towards Techno and attempt a few shaky swings.
Phil looked to Techno expectantly. Techno sighed. “Fine, I’ll teach the kid so he doesn’t hurt himself.”
Tommy was too excited to hear the unspoken ‘or more importantly, doesn’t stick a sword in our eyes’ and simply started jumping around on top of Shadow. The cat seemed annoyed but completely used to his antics.
Shadow got back on track (thankfully he hadn’t run the opposite way) and Phil laid back as Techno attempted to teach Tommy to fight – because of course the kid couldn’t wait until they were back on even ground. The keyword there though was ‘attempted’ as Techno was completely unable to balance on top of Shadow, which apparently was normal as Tommy pointed out it took “years of training” with a self-satisfied smirk, and Tommy wasn’t exactly great at following instructions. Shadow did get a slight haircut, but apart from that, no one was hurt. They reached the tavern before nightfall.
“Oh, Phil,” Techno sighed, “I cannot explain to you how glad I am we have the same taste in taverns.” Before even reaching the entrance, Technoblade ran off to the stables and found Carl. Phil and Tommy had followed behind, with Shadow left to rest among the trees behind the establishment.
“You have a horse?” Phil questioned, “What was your plan if we had gone to a different tavern.”
“Eh, he’s used to waiting for days,” Techno softly stroked the hair in between Carl’s ears, “I would’ve gone off to find him if the mission took too long.”
“I’m glad you’re good Carl,” Techno softly whispered before turning to the other two, “Right, let’s get the kid some food.”
As they walked into the tavern, Techno noticed Phil straitening his wings into something that resembled a cape likely for the same reasons, Techno thought, that he let his cape fall forward and hide his many blades.
The tavern was packed, with the clientele roaring and cheap alcohol spraying across the room alongside raucous laughter. A little stage to the side was populated by a bard with a lute barely hanging on to his body as he span it around while he danced and sang, a woman behind him stroked a tambourine and another played a small piano with their whole body. Though the music wasn’t in tune most of the time, the sheer energy of their playing brought people to dance, twirling and jumping and howling from joy. The whole place was alive.
Phil gestured to the only table that still had space and the three of them walked over. The table was already taken by two other… kids? A boy with light blond hair sat opposite a girl with curly brunette locks beneath a purple beanie. Both of them were eating some kind of stew and seemed utterly tired with purple bruising under their eyes. No words were exchanged but they seemed to be talking with only their eyes, a tired smile flowering on the girl’s face.
All at once Tommy had run up to them. Phil and Techno were still paces behind and couldn’t hear what was being said, but Techno saw as the blond boy’s face turned from suspicion to completely letting his defences down and smiling brightly at Tommy. The two hugged and the girl leaned over the table excitedly to join them. As soon as they parted Tommy was talking a mile a minute, the other boy nodding along happily but with his arms turned towards the girl and gesturing rapidly. Her eyes flickered quickly between Tommy and the boy’s hands, and she seemed to laugh a second later than the other two.
“And this is Techno and Phil, who owe me lunch since I didn’t let Shadow eat them,” Tommy finished as the two men neared the table. And how exactly had the kid explained the giant cat Shadow well enough in the span of seconds that the other two children understood and laughed?
“Okay, we would’ve easily managed to kill—”
“Anyways, Tommy, you know these two?” Phil cut Techno off, which, rude. There’s no question they could’ve killed the cat, and Tommy really needed to get that through his thick skull. Can’t have the kid thinking you’re weaker than a comically large cat.
“Knew them from the orphanage! These are Chayanne and Tallulah,” he said, pointing to the children respectively. By the looks of it, they were younger than Tommy but seemed to have fared worse than him out of the orphanage.
“How come you’ve ended up here?” Tommy asked Chayanne.
“We left the orphanage a few months ago after they told us ‘nobody would want a deaf child’,” Chayanne explained, and oh, now the hand gesturing made sense. “So we’ve been travelling since, just trying to find a place to stay.” Tallulah nodded at this.
“You can come with us!” Tommy squealed and looked at the two men. Phil and Techno shared a what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into look.
“Well mate, we haven’t exactly decided what the plan is after the tavern—” Philza tried to reason.
“And that would be two more liabilities in an already complicated situation—” Techno continued, but Tommy simply cut them off.
“The deal is food right now, and then continuing to do whatever I want since me and Shadow have been so kind to you this whole time. We appreciate the guide and all, but we could’ve gotten here on our own and your lives should be of more value than that, no? So, we’ll continue travelling, with Chayanne and Tallulah,” Tommy finished with crossed arms.
“That’s not what we agreed on Tommy, and I still would easily kill Shadow,” Techno reprimanded.
“Once again, ignoring that, of course, Chayanne and Tallulah can join us if they want to,” Phil pointedly looked at Techno, which wasn’t fair at all, no one could really blame him for not wanting to take care of two extra kids, “but we do need to figure out where to go next.”
At the pause, Tallulah got Chayanne’s attention and started signing. The two signed back and forth for a minute before Chayanne turned to the other three. “Tallulah wanted to say that we don’t have to go along with you if we’re imposing too much. We’ll manage on our own,” Chayanne smiled as if to reassure them, but it was too tired to reach his eyes.
Techno sighed. “It’s no problem kid. You both seem way less hyperactive than Tommy, so we’ll handle,” then, without much further thought to his next few words, “And we’ll head to Las Nevadas next.”
Phil turned away from him, expressionless. A weighted pause before Phil quietly asked Tommy what he wanted to eat and left to order. The kids, completely unaware, resumed their chatter as Tommy interrogated the other two. When Phil returned, he was back to normal and they all sat down to eat, with Tommy recounting some of the adventures from Phil and Techno, both of them having to jump in at times when Tommy made Phil sound “way too heroic, mate” or failed to describe Techno’s “best-of-the-best tactical and fighting skills” as such.
As the hours passed, the tavern lost some of its energy and people started to leave, giving way to a more mellow atmosphere. Techno went to pay for beds for them to stay the night and came back to find Tommy already asleep.
“Of course he’d fall asleep before getting to a bed.”
“He was always able to sleep anywhere,” said Chayanne in a nostalgic tone, “Guess he hasn’t changed much.”
Tallulah giggled and nodded in agreement.
“Right well, guess I’ll carry him to bed,” grumbled Techno, “Can you hold the room keys for me?”
Chayanne took them and nodded eagerly, clearly happy to have been given a task to do. Techno chuckled and looked over to Phil, who had a strange expression on his face.
“I’m gonna go hunt a deer or something for Shadow,” he said, “I’d rather not have the cat going out on his own without supervision. He’s not exactly subtle.” He laughed slightly, but without humour.
“Right,” Techno mumbled, uncomfortable, “I’ll make sure the kids are alright.”
“Great.”
Techno went to the rooms upstairs with Tallulah and Chayanne, choosing not to think about… whatever that was.
Phil was hunting a deer for a giant cat and was now responsible for three kids. Really what had his life come to? And he would be completely fine with it if the person he was doing this with cared even slightly more. Because all Techno wanted was his reward at Las Nevadas, and then having nothing to do with the kids.
Phil had thought he’d found a friend. Even if they had only known each other for a few days, it had felt like he found someone like him. An outsider. Someone who knew the ins and outs of war and politics in a way that made it impossible to see the average person as more than alive or dead – someone who knew the feeling of meeting the people you had seen as numbers. But Phil was already tired of that, it’s why he supported a cause and not a people, and why he strikes a single time.
A branch cracked under his feet and the buck he had been following bolted without trace. Dammit. He needed to get on track.
If Techno still saw money and power as the reasons to live, even as a retired general, then Phil could do nothing about it. They would go to Las Nevadas, give Quackity the ‘proof’ that they had killed Shadow, and they would part. Phil would stay with the children and Shadow and he’d do his best to manage. If Techno didn’t stay, then Phil could do nothing about it.
He brought an arrow to his bow and held the string taught. It hit. At least Shadow would appreciate him, even if for the food.
When he reached the rooms, he found the three children sleeping soundly, Tommy completely sprawled out and tangled between his blankets. Techno, however, was not yet asleep and was instead reading next to a lit candle (where did he even get a book from?).
Techno looked up, “All good?”
“Uh,” Phil whispered to not wake the kids, “Yes, all good. Shadow won’t eat us in our sleep.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Techno closed his book and went over to his bed. He had waited for Phil. “Good night.”
“Night, mate,” and maybe Phil couldn’t be blamed if he hoped still.
It wasn’t Phil waking him up at dawn this time, but an over-energetic Tommy with Chayanne and Tallulah behind him, all claiming they had to get going already so Techno could teach them to fight and ride a horse. Phil was already packed, so Techno had no choice but to follow the kids outside.
“Since when did this turn into a school?”
“You’re just too cool Techno,” Phil laughed at his expression, “the kids yearn to be as cool as you.”
“Wait till they ask you to teach them how to fly.”
“I— how could I even teach them that?” Phil said with an expression between a smile and a frown.
“They'd force you to find a way.”
“They would, wouldn’t they?” Phil looked on to find Tommy already on top of Shadow, reaching down to help Tallulah up, and Chayanne to the side looking with awe at Shadow and petting his nose.
The five of them climbed on top of Shadow, with Carl trailing behind. Techno had considered going with Carl, purely to avoid being on Shadow after last time, but decided he’d only make him more tired than keeping up with Shadow already would.
They spent the days travelling, sometimes sleeping in taverns and hostels, others under the stars. It was mostly peaceful, well as peaceful as travelling with three tiny demons that fed each other’s energy could be. They only came across strangers twice. The first was a shepherd which clearly recognised Shadow and ran to alert guards, so they—
“ —ran away,” Tommy sighed disappointed, “I can’t believe we just ran away from that.”
“Tommy we didn’t run away,” Techno grumbled, “We made the smart decision to not fight unless we need to. Wars aren’t won by fighting without thought—”
“We ran away.”
“Tommy, I swear—”
The other time was across a group of hired hunters, who Phil had thankfully seen coming. They forced the kids to stay with Shadow and get to a safe spot while Techno and Phil dealt with them. The two worked well together, Techno swinging his axe and sword while Phil covered him from above with his bow, swooping down with his sword when needed. Phil and Techno were easily victorious and found the kids safe and sound.
They continued their journey, reaching a tavern a day’s ride form Las Nevadas.
“Hey, you realise we’re now co-parenting three kids?”
“Heh?! No,” Technoblade appeared truly offended by the thought. “You’re the father, I’m at most a cool uncle or older brother. I do not want the responsibility of three children. Especially not those three.”
Technoblade nodded at Tommy, who had jumped on top of a table and was reaching for the hanging light. He was trying to convince Tallulah to help him reach for it, hands waving rapidly to try to convey his mission, and she seemed equally confused and conflicted. Chayanne wasn’t even looking their way, quietly eating by the fire and completely unbothered.
“Fair enough,” Phil sighed, and without thought, “But you can’t convince me you don’t care for them.”
Techno didn’t answer. Phil fell silent too.
The morning air was crisp, and you could still smell the dew when Phil woke up. He stretched out his limbs and went outside to be able to spread his wings. Maybe he could go on a morning glide before the kids woke up. Before they headed to Las Nevadas. Right. If Phil didn’t think about after Las Nevadas, he didn’t need to imagine taking care of three children on his own. He’d do it with zero regrets, and he’d be capable of it, but it wasn’t right.
Before preparing to take flight, Phil went over to check on Shadow to already find Techno sitting with him.
“Didn’t expect to find you here so early,” Phil mused.
“You’ve made me mad with your ‘early bird’ sleep cycles.” Techno huffed, sinking deeper into Shadow’s fur, who responded with a soft purr.
“I woke you up one time—”
“One time too many.”
“—and it wasn’t even that early!”
“Ungodly hour.”
“Fine,” Phil chuckled as he sat down beside Techno, “What are you doing here anyways?”
“Thinking.”
“Don’t hurt yourself, mate.”
Techno shoved him softly. “I’m being serious, you crazy bird-man.”
“Sure. Penny for your thoughts then?”
“I don’t want to go to Las Nevadas.”
Phil paused. “…you don’t? But the reward?”
“It’s not like I need the money,” Techno sighed, taking a moment to come up with his next words, “I think I was insisting on it on principle, or well, mostly to annoy Tommy.”
Phil was silent. “You’re leaving then?”
Techno sounded very confused. “What?”
“Well, you’ve tagged along for the reward all this time, and it never seemed like you cared for much else. And now you’re up early, which would be the perfect time to leave without even facing the kids,” Phil couldn’t hold back the pain in his voice.
After all they had been through, after finding someone that understood, after planning – and god, had he been stupid for planning? – to continue the journey together. Maybe he had been stupid to hope, what could you expect from the blood god?
“Phil… no. Maybe that had been the plan at the start but— I can’t simply leave. You were right,” Techno held him by the shoulders, “You were right and I kind of hate that you were. Because I care for them. And I care about you. And you and Tommy and Chayanne and Tallulah made me care when I haven’t in years. You probably know, but not caring is much easier.”
Because Phil did know. He had never fought in wars like Techno, but he had led and been responsible for the lives of fellow soldiers. At times he had even been responsible for the lives of thousands, one wrong step or incorrect thing said, and a war would rage on without stop. And he had lost. The blood of fellow friends and innocent strangers stained his hands.
“But you’re brave Phil. You offer your heart so easily it’s crazy,” Phil chuckled wetly, “You fight for what you believe, and you love openly. So I’m ready to care again. I’ll stay.”
Phil took a moment, silent tears threatening to spill. After a minute Phil croaked, “That’s nice.”
“Of course it is,” Techno brought back the deadpan, guess ‘serious’ time is over. “The moment Tommy steps outside of my watch the chances of getting himself stabbed triple, and they’re already very high.”
“Shouldn’t have given him a sharp blade, mate,” Phil laughed.
“I have to agree with that one,” Techno smiled.
The two fall into a comfortable silence, gazing forward as the sun rises with the heavy breaths of Shadow rocking their bodies.
“You know a house then?” Techno prompted.
“Yeah,” Phil smiled brightly, “Pretty much desolate, surrounded by forest and a lake where we could,” he whispered next, “give Shadow a bath.”
Shadow’s ear twitched, but he continued sleeping.
“And we can set up farms and cattle, should be enough space to keep Shadow content. As well as the three children. Well, it’ll realistically be way more complicated, like, we don’t even know what Quackity will do when we don’t bring back the ‘beast’, but—”
“— we can go there for now, and figure the rest when we get there,” Techno finished.
“Exactly,” Phil smiled.