Chapter Text
Surfing the internet just wasn’t doing it for Dave anymore. He needed to up the ante…ironically. First thing in order to step it up: lose the pants. After getting rid of those tight things, he was free to step it up…again. Removing his signature record shirt, he stretched out the head hole and put it back on, pulling his shoulders through the big hole. Once his arms were though, he tied the sleeves behind his back, in order to make sure there was no nip slippage. That was totally uncool and there was no way he could pull that off ironically. Then, finally, he pulled on some thigh highs he had. Doesn’t matter where he got them or why he had them, he just did. And he was wearing them.
Now, he was ready. Logging on to Omegle, he began playing some music and waited for the first suck- person to connect. As soon as they did, he began playing some of his phat beats, dancing in rhythm to it. He smirked inwardly. No one would expect this out of Dave. He was being so-
“Dave?” He stopped. Looking at the screen, he saw Jade, staring at him incredulously. “Dave…what the hell are you doing.” Without missing a beat, he answered her.
“Dancing ironically.” The music hadn’t stopped playing. Ignoring Jade’s shock, he continued to dance, rubbing himself sensually at times when the music called for it. Jade began blushing at Dave’s display, but was somehow unable to look away.
As the music ended, the boy was panting slightly. He strut up to the camera, smirking as he said “And this has been your daily dose of Sexy Strider.”
“Dave, I…I…”
“Sorry, Jade, no time to chat! I got people to dance for, crowds to entertain!”
“But…Dave-” Before she could get another word out, Dave disconnected.
After resting for a few seconds, he connected to the next person. Not wanting to see who he was dancing for, he began to dance once again, swaying his hips to the beat. His hands glided up his thighs, lifting up the edge of his shirt provocatively so. He turned around, shaking his ass for the viewer. The back of the shirt fluttered up, showing whoever was watching a view of Strider briefs with hearts on them.
Soon the music ended and Dave once again strut up to the camera, bending low enough so that the viewer could see him. “And that was your daily dose of Sexy Strider.” Seeing who had been watching him, however, had caused him to smirk.
“I’m not a homosexual, I’m not a homosexual, I’m not a homosexual….” The viewer repeated like a mantra, covering their eyes, face beet red.
“Keep telling yourself that, Egbert.” Dave disconnected, leaving John to his own devices.
Another quick break, and Dave was back at it with another viewer. This one, however, wasn’t so quiet about their opinions.
“WHAT THE FUCK, STRIDER?”
“What’s wrong, Vantas? Can’t handle me?” Dave retorted as he continued dancing.
“I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING HANDLE YOU. CEASE WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU ARE DOING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!” Dave shook his head. Instead, he made his dancing evenmorerisque, accentuating certain parts of his body, knowing it would disgust Karkat.
“AUGH, FUCK YOU STRIDER. FUCK YOU!” The troll disconnected himself. Dave grinned. That was too great for just a smirk, No, that motherfucking display needed an all out, totally unfucking ironic grin.
Since Karkat had left early, Dave didn’t take a break. Instead, Dave moved right on down to his next viewer. He started his usual thing and this time, he wasn’t interrupted. The same ‘hot’ display and not a peep from the viewer the entire time. When the dance was over, he strut up to the camera, smirking. “And that was your daily dose of Sexy Strider.”
“Oh, Dave, this explains so very much.” That voice. Dave’s smirk disappeared. Rose.
“Huh, Lalonde. Try not, for once in your fucking life, to psychoanalyze me. Because you know you totally enjoyed my performance.” Rose, with her eternal smirk, nodded.
“I did. There is so much your little ‘performance’ revealed to me. Oh Strider, you’re too easy.” Dave didn’t even respond, he just disconnected from her. He wasn’t about to let Rose’s usual bullshit get to him.
‘One more and then I’m out.’ the younger Strider thought as he connected to his final viewer. He began his set, running his hands through his hair, gliding his hands along his thighs, even the ass trick he did for John. The viewer said nothing, instead typing.
So, we meet again, little brother
“Bro!” Dave growled out and Bro chuckled.
You’ve improved greatly since our last encounter…But do you honestly think you can best me this time?
Dave smirked. “Come at me.”
In front of his own camera, Bro removed his pants, tossing them behind him, then began shaking his ass for his younger brother. Dave pulled out all the stops, even lifting up the shirt at one point to reveal his flat stomach. But no matter what he did, Bro not only matched, but straight up outdid Dave. After the song was over, Dave was panting heavily, a sheen of sweat on his skin. Bro, meanwhile, hadn’t broken a sweat.
Sorry, little bro. Maybe next time.
“Fine *pant*…One day, I’ll beat you!” Dave ground out. Bro smirked, then disconnected.
Dave closed Omegle. He them threw himself on his bed, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Heh, I wonder who I’ll get tomorrow…”