Work Text:
Shen Wei stares at Zhao Yunlan's door. He should go in, there's no reason to hesitate. Zhao Yunlan has made it clear that he's welcome whenever he wants. Shen Wei startles slightly at the sound of an inquisitive meow from the floor. He'd been so intent on Zhao Yunlan's door that he hadn't even noticed Da Qing's arrival. That's an unforgivable lapse in his focus. If he was still—
But he isn't still in a war. He hasn't been for a very long time.
"Da Qing," Shen Wei acknowledges quietly, worried that if he speaks any louder, Zhao Yunlan might hear him from inside his apartment. "I have some food for you if you want," he says, heading for his own door.
He'd had to re-buy the apartment after they'd come back. Zhao Yunlan had told him he didn't need to, that he'd be happy to let Shen Wei live with him, but Shen Wei couldn't impose on him like that. Luckily, his former apartment had still been free.
Da Qing hesitates for a moment, looking back at Zhao Yunlan's door, before predictably following Shen Wei. Da Qing will rarely, if ever, say no to food.
Shen Wei heads straight for the kitchen, taking out some of the food he'd made earlier from the fridge. Zhao Yunlan hadn't been home, so there had been no one to eat it. Now that Zhao Yunlan is home, Shen Wei had meant to cook for him, but he'd just hesitated on going inside.
"Why were you staring at Lao Zhao's door?" Da Qing asks as he watches Shen Wei warm the food for him.
Shen Wei freezes for a split second before he quickly resumes his movement, hoping that the cat will be too focused on the food to notice anything else.
"How long were you standing there?" Da Qing asks, clearly not having missed Shen Wei's reaction.
"Not long," Shen Wei says, not looking at Da Qing. It's true, he hadn't been there for long.
"Okay. I'm sure I don't want to know, but why were you standing there?" Da Qing asks, a note of exasperation in his voice.
Shen Wei would have preferred it if he hadn't asked, but now that he has, Shen Wei should say something. It's Da Qing, they're hardly strangers and Da Qing—
"Do you remember Kunlun?" Shen Wei asks, instead of answering, and then finally sets down a plate of food in front of the cat sitting on the table.
Da Qing uncharacteristically hesitates. "More than I used to," he says after a moment, before finally tucking into the food.
Shen Wei sighs and pulls out a chair to sit down. For a moment he watches Da Qing eat.
"For Zhao Yunlan it's all… fresh," Shen Wei says awkwardly. He's not entirely sure what he's trying to say. He hasn't tried putting any of it into words. "I'm not him anymore. I'm not the man Kunlun learned to know," he says, the words feeling like they might choke him.
Da Qing lifts his head up from the food and stares at Shen Wei for a moment. His ears flick, and his tail twitches with irritation.
"Are you still thinking about that? It's been months now. I'm pretty sure even Lao Zhao knows by now," Da Qing says with a scoff before his head dips back down into the food. Then he stops, and looks up again, his ears laying flat against his head. "Did Lao Zhao say something? You know he's an idiot, right? He loves you," Da Qing says and then lowers his head and starts eating again leaving Shen Wei feeling like—like—
"He does?" Shen Wei asks, his voice so choked the words barely make sense.
Da Qing's head jerks up and he stares at Shen Wei in blatant disbelief. "He hasn't told you!?" Da Qing asks, his voice a bit shrill. "He really is an idiot," he mutters under his breath and then with a scoff returns to eating like all of this is just too much for him, and he can only find comfort in food.
Shen Wei stares at him wordlessly for a moment. He swallows dryly. "Zhao Yunlan is probably hungry, I should go make sure he's eating too," Shen Wei says faintly. Then he just sits there for a moment, before finally getting up and heading to the apartment across the hall.
Shen Wei knocks on the door. He has to wait for a moment before Zhao Yunlan opens the door. He can feel his heart beating in his throat.
"Shen Wei," Zhao Yunlan says, smiling delightedly as he sets eyes on Shen Wei, followed almost immediately by a small frown. "You know you can just come in whenever you want, there's no need to knock," he adds.
Warmth spreads through Shen Wei, his heart retreating back to where it belongs, even if it's still beating faster than usual. "I know," he says, smiling at Zhao Yunlan.