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After a long and difficult journey, Lucy Chen was more than happy to end her rookie year on a light note. She handed a small box to Tim Bradford, who was officially no longer her Training Officer and could not retaliate when her present was actually a prank in disguise. White powder exploded all over his face when he opened his “gift”, and she said, “It’s been a blast, sir,” with a giggle.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Lucy,” he replied, still trying out saying her first name instead of her last or referring to her as “boot”.
“See you tomorrow, Tim,” she responded happily and walked away. She stopped in her tracks after a few paces when she felt her lungs tickle, and she coughed a few times until something came out. When Lucy pulled back the hand covering her mouth, she saw a few small blue flower petals and blood. It was not the first time it happened, but it was starting to scare her, understandably so. For peace of mind, she promised herself she would book a doctor’s appointment after going out to celebrate the end of her rookie year with Jackson West.
❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀
Lucy was nervous when she stepped into an exam room, but the second Grace Sawyer walked in, she felt a bit at ease.
“Hey, Lucy, I was surprised when you called. What’s going on?” Grace wondered.
“I’ve had this weird cough, and…it’s really unpredictable,” Lucy explained.
She scanned her reserved expression. “What aren’t you telling me about this cough?”
Lucy worried at her lip. “It’s…it’s gonna sound weird, but…when I cough, there’s usually a little blood and…flower petals.”
“Flower petals,” Grace repeated evenly.
“You think I’m losing my mind, don’t you? I swear it happened just a few days ago.”
“Okay. I’ll need to take a listen to your lungs.” Grace pressed a stethoscope to Lucy’s chest and back, and she heard something odd enough that she suggested, “I think we should take an x-ray to get a better look.”
Lucy really tried not to panic, but she did, so she thought back to the last time she had a health scare when a dirty needle was in her side. Tim was there to keep her calm and focused to avoid spiraling out of control, so she thought of him as she changed into a hospital gown, and then she coughed again into her hand. When she pulled it away, she saw the petals then made a fist to hold onto her evidence until Grace returned. “I told you it’s real. Look!” She showed her the four small blue petals that had come out of her lungs as proof that her curious cough was real.
“I believe you. Let’s head up to imaging for that x-ray,” Grace responded. After capturing a few images, she reviewed the x-rays in awe by herself before re-entering Lucy’s exam room and taking a seat at the rolling stool like she always did before delivering bad news. “Lucy, there are flowers growing in your lungs.”
“Flowers? What-”
“It’s a rare disease. I’ve only ever seen it in textbooks back when I was in medical school. It’s called Hanahaki Disease.”
“That sounds…serious.”
“Well, it can be, but let’s not go to worst case scenario. Let’s stick with the facts: you can make a complete recovery and the flowers will go away once…well, once the person you love loves you back.”
Lucy blinked hard a few times, because that did not seem like a medical diagnosis and not at all what she was expecting. “What does love have to…I don’t even love anyone.”
“According to your lungs, you do. The vines and flowers are small, which means it’s fairly new, but the proof is in your x-rays. You love someone.”
“Who?”
“That’s up to you to figure out.”
“And then what do I do?”
“I’m not exactly a relationship expert, but you have to wait until they love you back, and then you’ll be cured. Until then, continued exposure to that person will cause the disease to worsen.”
“How bad can it even get? It’s just some flowers. Sure, they’re in my lungs, but I mean, flowers can’t be that bad.”
Grace pursed her lips. “I’m afraid that if the love is unrequited for long enough, then…it’s terminal.”
“Terminal? I could die?”
“It won’t come to that,” she assured gently.
“Can I take medication or something?”
“Breathing exercises could help.”
“Like with meditation or yoga?”
“Yeah, anything to keep your lungs as healthy as possible.”
“That’s good. At least I already meditate.”
“See, you’ll be fine. Just to be safe, I’d like to keep a close eye on your condition and have you come back regularly for follow up imagines to monitor any changes.”
“Okay.”
“We’ll get through this, Lucy,” Grace said gently and squeezed her hand.
“Thanks. Promise not to tell anyone about this? Having a love disease isn’t exactly something I want my friends to find out about.”
“I would never. This stays between us.”
Lucy nodded solemnly. “I have to get to the bottom of this.”
“As an E.R. doctor, I’m not too familiar with the disease, but I can do some research and let you know what I find.”
“Yes. Anything to help me figure out who I supposedly love.” It was preposterous; she was not in love with anyone. There was no way. The initial diagnoses must have been wrong, because she went weeks without coughing up flower petals or feeling anything in her lungs until the day her long term undercover operation went from boring hours hanging out alone in a motel room to being wrapped up with Salonga and his men just as she had anticipated would happen after waiting long enough, but she could not have foreseen that Tim would be the one to pull her over. Looking at him after weeks without contact was like the first sip of cold water. Locking onto his blue eyes as she maintained her cover was a moment of pure peace, and for a few fleeting moments, Lucy was not in her constant state of hyper vigilance that adopting a persona required. She was touching his hand as herself and not Nova Lin. She was taking strength from his presence. She felt less scared because he was there.
As she drove away, it happened. She coughed. Blue flower petals came out of her lungs.
It was him.
It was Tim.
The one she loved was one of her best friends.
The person she had been developing feelings for was a man she had endured so much with.
She loved Tim, and she had not even realized it until flowers started growing inside of her because of it.
Lucy had to stay alert for her continued survival as long as she was undercover, but she knew she would have to process her newly discovered feelings later. After the arrests were made. After the debrief. After getting dressed for Angela Lopez and Wesley Evers’ wedding. She arrived at the beautiful outdoor space to see all of the familiar faces she had missed while she was undercover, and everyone was dressed up for the ceremony, which made the day extra special. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him. Tim was dressed in a suit and talking to someone else, and everything came to flooding into the forefront of her mind.
Her pulse quickened.
Her blood tingled.
Her lungs felt heavier.
Still, it was easy enough to talk to him as it always was, so she approached him and said, “Hey. Nice suit. Nova would be impressed.”
“Nova was a little thirsty,” he responded with a smirk.
“I like to think of her as assertive.”
“Mhm,” he hummed then blew out a laugh before his face turned serious. “First solo op, and you take down two major drug traffickers. Not bad.”
“Thank you.” She was a bit surprised he praised her, since he hardly ever did, and he had been so against her interest in undercover work.
He took a few steps away then stopped and turned back. “Hey, Chen.”
“Yeah?”
“Save me a dance,” he requested and walked over to Wes to check on him.
As if it was not hard enough to breathe with flowers growing in her lungs, his words took her breath away. Lucy turned on her heel and coughed longer and harder than ever before. She spat out a few fully intact flowers. Clearly, her condition was worsening. She wanted to talk to him during the dance he asked for, but it never happened, since the bride was kidnapped before she could walk down the aisle.
She wanted to come clean when she was in his house; though the timing was terrible given the recent tragic news about Jackson, Lucy felt like life was too short to keep her feelings a secret, and if nothing else, having her love be requited would ensure she would survive.
Tim hugged her and when he stepped away, she held back from coughing and swallowed back the flowers trying to escape. She laid back on the couch in his living room and decided the time had come. She had to tell him everything including her feelings for him and the resulting disease.
But they received a call from Wes with a lead on where to find Angela. Her window of opportunity had closed.
❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀
Grace inspected the fresh x-rays in comparison to the previously captured ones and frowned as she reported to Lucy, “It’s getting worse.”
“I’ve noticed,” Lucy said and shifted where she was sitting on the exam table in the small room.
“You said you’re coughing up entire flowers now?”
“Sometimes. Not at all the time.”
“Usually, there’s a pattern to the coughing and how the flowers grow according to my research. Coughing usually happens right after you see them, and flower growth happens the longer you’re around them. You need to limit how much time you spend with him.”
“He can’t fall in love with me if we hardly see each other, and besides, it’s impossible to stop seeing him.”
Grace arched her eyebrow. “So if it’s impossible to stop seeing him, you must work with this mystery guy whose name you refuse to tell me, huh? I know everyone you work with, so who is it? If it’s John, I swear I’ve moved on. I’m back with my ex husband, so it wouldn’t bother me.”
“It’s not John.” Lucy had yet to find the courage to tell anyone, even Grace, who her heart yearned for. She was literally breathing around her growing love for Tim, so it was constantly on her mind, but telling someone about her feelings felt daunting. But she had to tell somebody, so she took a deep breath and said, “It’s Tim. He’s the one I…the flowers in my lungs are because of Tim.”
“Tim? Tim Bradford?” She had not expected the object of Lucy’s affection to be someone so different, but then she thought back to all of the interactions between them that she had witnessed and realized it was not so far fetched. “Oh, alright. I see it. Hmm, well, I know you can’t ignore him, but you have to be more careful. Your lungs have gotten worse in the last two months. Physical contact can fast track the disease. Have you touched him lately?”
“He asked me to dance, but we didn’t actually get the chance to, and he hugged me once, but I haven’t…nothing’s really happened since. I really only see him in the halls, and sometimes when we’re both walking to our cars together after shift, we talk for a few minutes, but it’s not a big deal.”
“I’m looking at an x-ray that says it’s becoming a big deal. You have to be more careful.”
“That’s why I’m here. I need an inhaler. I looked it up. It could help, and I could use all the help I can get, because…” Lucy swallowed hard. “Because I’m going to start riding with him again.”
Grace laughed mirthlessly. “You can’t be serious. You can’t ride with him.”
“But he needs me,” Lucy replied.
“Your condition will worsen. All those hours next to each other everyday is so much prolonged exposure. I can’t even predict how much this’ll effect your disease.”
“Prescribe me the inhaler, and I’ll come by more often for x-rays.”
“It would be so much easier if you didn’t ride with him.”
She felt her lungs grow heavier in that moment. She knew a cough was coming on, so she let the flowers out and admired them for what they were- a beautiful and delicate manifestation of her love for him that grew just alongside her relationship with him. “I can’t help it,” Lucy responded as she traced one of the flowers in her palm. “I think they’re supposed to be like forget-me-nots,” she identified the blooms with wonder. “Do you know what that means?”
“Not really a flower expert, but let’s Google it.” She pulled out her phone and searched for the meaning of those particular flowers and paused. Grace flicked her eyes up to Lucy then read aloud, “Forget-me-nots can represent long lasting connection and true love. Wow.”
“That’s actually really sweet,” Lucy swooned as she inspected the blooms. “I like that.”
“I would like them more if they didn’t run the risk of killing you.”
“They won’t kill me if he starts to love me back, though. If I talk to him, I might be able to convince him…I’ve thought about it, you know. I’ve run the scenario in my head a million times, and maybe if I told him how I felt, he could learn to…we could…there’s a chance he’ll find a way to love me back.”
“How come you haven’t talked to him yet?”
She exhaled shakily. “It’s complicated. How am I supposed to tell him I’m love with him when he’s one of my best friends...now that Jackson is gone, Tim’s even more important to me. If I tell him about my disease, and he looks me in the eye and freaks out? My condition won’t go away just because he rejects me. I’ll lose my best friend, and then spend whatever time I have left with him avoiding me until my love for him literally chokes me to death. That would be like dying twice.”
“l get it. Look, I can’t tell you what to do about your feelings for Tim, but as your doctor, I can advise you to reconsider riding with him. The regular proximity could be hell on your lungs.”
“So be it. At least the flowers growing inside of me are beautiful and meaningful.”
Grace’s heart ached for Lucy, but she had to remain objective as her doctor.
That objectivity flew out the window when Lucy came for another appointment with her face pulled in pain. Even before examining her, she asked, “Are you having a lot of trouble breathing?”
“I feel the flowers now. I know there are so many now. I cough more and more each time.”
“Please stop riding with him,” she begged.
Lucy coughed up more flowers for the fifth time that day and showed that the forget-me-nots were coming out of her mouth with stems, too. Trying not to cry, she looked away from the blooms in her palm and asked Grace, “How much time do I have?”
“I can’t know until we take some images of your lungs, but the bigger the flowers, the more advanced the disease has become. You have to talk to him.”
“He has a girlfriend,” she reported in anguish. “l’m in love with him, and he’s dating someone else, and she’s beautiful, and sweet, and exactly the kind of person I would expect him to be with.”
Grace lowered herself onto the wheeled stool and rolled over to the exam table to try to make eye contact with Lucy as she hung her head low. “A girlfriend isn’t permanent.”
“We went on a double date last night at this pop-up restaurant on the beach. Tim absolutely hated it,” she said with the beginning of a smile tugging at her lips. “But we still had fun, because that’s just how it always is with us.” She stared down at the forget-me-nots in her hands. “They’re so beautiful. That’s my first thought every time I cough them up. I think they’re so beautiful just like him. I literally can’t stop loving him more and more and thinking about him every time I breathe, and he has a girlfriend that’s beautiful like him. They could be one of those couples in a magazine.” Lucy swallowed back tears. “I found a blog where someone was cured of their Hanahaki disease when they fell in love with another person. At this point, I think the only way I could survive is if I try to date someone else.”
“A friend got me in contact with a doctor doing research on your disease, and he said that it’s not a guaranteed cure, but it’s a possibility. I would’ve suggested it sooner, but the way you talk about Tim, I didn’t think you would be open to it.”
“l am now. Last night on the double date, Tim set me up with this guy named Chris, and l agreed to go on another date with him. He seems nice, so it could work.”
Grace was not entirely sure Lucy’s heart could be changed given the regular check-ups and imaging showed that Lucy’s feelings showed no sign of slowing down their development, but she nodded and offered a small smile of support regardless. “It very well could work.” She took Lucy to imaging and was not at all surprised to see the dark shadows in her lungs of mass amounts of flowers growing and flourishing; each x-ray reflected steady blooming that indicated that her love had not faltered or stopped whatsoever. Gently, she reported, “Lucy, I’m seriously worried about the progression of your disease. Do you think maybe you should stop partnering up with Tim until you start developing feelings for Chris?”
“Stop riding with Tim? When would I see him?”
“That’s sorta the point. I’ve been saying since the beginning that you have to limit your contact with him, and it’s becoming critical.”
Her eyes burned. “I can’t do that. It’s the only time I have with him.”
“That time is killing you.”
“I’ll use the inhaler more. I promise,” she tried to bargain with Grace. “Maybe if I didn’t know how much I loved him it would be easier to take some space from him, but I feel it all the time.” She motioned to her lungs.
“Well, if I could write you a prescription for keeping away from Tim, I would, but since I can’t, you have to do what you think is right.”
Lucy studied the lovely flowers she grew inside of herself for him and could not help but smile at the beauty of something born of her feelings for Tim. “I’ll use the inhaler. I’ll do whatever I have to do to stay close to him even if he never loves me back.”
“Doesn’t it hurt? Knowing you love someone who doesn’t feel the same way?”
She shook her head and smirked fondly. “He’s not the kind of guy who likes most people let alone loves anyone, but I know he cares about me. He lets me pick where we have lunch almost everyday no matter how much he doesn’t want to eat most of the food I like. He stands in line and waits for me to order some drink that takes far longer to make than his black coffee, and he doesn’t complain. He asks if I’m good, and he genuinely wants to know my answer. Maybe that isn’t enough for some people, but l feel pretty damn special that I have someone in my life that cares for me like that.” Before she knew it, Lucy was coughing flower after flower, and she treated each bloom gingerly as she admired them. Loving Tim was not painful, even when a love disease was constricting her breathing, because how he was with her was special.
❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀
Tim frowned when he heard Lucy coughing harshly at the end of shift. He went over to her in the parking lot and said, “You’ve had that cough for a while. Are you sure you shouldn’t go to a doctor to get that checked out?”
She quickly hid her hands that were full of flowers behind her back. “I’m fine. Really. But thanks for worrying about me.”
“You can take a personal day if you need it.”
She grinned. “I appreciate you asking, but I’m alright.”
He bit down on his lip. So many times he heard her cough and ignored it, but it was starting to concern him. She looked healthy; he was certain he would have noticed if she was looking paler or her eyes were sunken in, but aside from hearing her hack up her lungs, Lucy looked perfectly alright, which worried him even more. Tim watched her walk away, but he knew in his gut that something was wrong. It was an unshakable feeling that plagued him for the rest of the night. Distracted, he pushed around the food on his plate and kept quiet; he was not a doctor, but he did try to diagnose her in his mind. Finally, he let his fork fall onto his plate and asked Ashley McGrady, who was sitting across from him at the restaurant, “You have some medical experience, right?”
“Yeah, I guess. Lifeguards have to know how to revive someone at a minimum, but we train to do all sorts of things,” Ashley answered.
“Well, see, Lucy has this serious cough, but I haven’t noticed any other symptoms. She swears she’s fine, but I’m not so sure. What do you think it could be?”
“That’s what you’ve been thinking about all night? You’ve hardly said a word since we sat down, and it’s because of Lucy?”
“She’s my partner. If something’s wrong…”
“Didn’t you just say she swears she’s fine? Take her at her word.”
He frowned. “No, I’m not buying it. I think it’s serious. You know what, I’m gonna go over and talk her into seeing a doctor.” He rose to his feet.
“In the middle of our date? Can’t this wait until the morning?”
“Look, I’ll make it up to you later, but I gotta go with my gut, and my gut’s telling me she needs me.”
Ashley really wanted to stay quiet, but as Tim slid his hands through the sleeves of his jacket, she wondered, “Why is it always Lucy? Why does it always feel like she’s the third person in our relationship?”
“That’s not fair. She’s sick.”
“She told you she’s fine, but you’re still ditching me to go be with her. Don’t you spend enough of your day together? How come you also have to spend our date night with her?”
“These are special circumstances. What if it’s serious, and she’s putting off taking care of herself?”
“How is that your problem?”
Offended, he narrowed his eyes at her. “She’s Lucy,” was his defense.
“She may be your partner, but I’m your girlfriend.”
“Lucy needs me.”
“I don’t need a boyfriend that has trouble choosing me over someone else.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“If you walk out of this restaurant to go see Lucy, then we’re done.”
He straightened the collar of his jacket as he held her gaze to ensure she was serious about her ultimatum. There was no question in his mind that he had to see Lucy, so he left without another word. He drove straight to her apartment and knocked on her front door eagerly.
She thought she was imagining him when she saw him through the peep hole. When she answered the door, she asked, “Tim? Are you okay?”
“I am, but you’re not,” he responded as he made his way inside.
“What are you talking about?”
“Your cough. I know something’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“So you know what it is?” He shoved his hands into his pockets, his anxiety skyrocketing. “Tell me.”
Lucy’s heart skipped a beat; she had the opportunity to tell him everything about her feelings for him and her hopes that he could return them someday. In the face of her best chance to be honest, fear overtook her mind. “I’m taking an inhaler, and it should all be healed up soon. Grace is taking really good care of me,” she half lied. “I told you not to worry.”
“You sure?”
She nodded while her mouth curled. “Yes. It’s really sweet how much care,” she replied with poorly concealed fondness. “Wait, I thought you had plans with Ashley tonight. Did you miss your date to check on me?”
“We rescheduled,” he fibbed knowing that the truth would be easy to misconstrue; Lucy was his partner, and it was imperative to their continued safety that she remained healthy, which was why he had to leave a girlfriend that did not understand his bond with Lucy to show up at her apartment.
“Is there something you aren’t telling me?” She inquired when she noticed a bit of sadness in his demeanor.
He lied yet again, “No. Got any beer?”
“Uhh, yeah, I think I’ve got a few bottles. Wanna stay and watch a movie?”
“Sounds perfect,” he said; there really was no better way to spend his evening and get over his very recent break up than by Lucy’s side for a night.
Even though she knew it would be torture on her lungs to have a movie night with Tim, she really needed it; she was grateful for his companionship even if they were mostly silent and only glanced at each other a few times while enjoying the film. The second he walked out of her apartment with his small farewell smile lingering in her mind, she started to have the worst coughing fit she had ever experienced that weakened her so much she dropped to her knees in the living room while stem after stem of forget-me-nots came out of her mouth until she had a large bouquet.
❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀ • ❀
Grace had been spending her free time scouring for research on how to cure Lucy’s Hanahaki disease, since she had feared the inevitable. When she looked at Lucy’s x-rays, she knew the day had come, so she went into the exam room with a sorrowful look and gently reported, “You’re officially in the end stage of your disease’s progression.”
Lucy anticipated it; breathing was getting harder, she was tiring easily, and every smile Tim flashed at her sent her into a coughing fit. “I figured. I’m telling him today that we can’t ride together anymore.”
“That’s great.” She was genuinely surprised that Lucy finally agreed to get some distance from Tim after not previously having taken such precaution.
“He and Ashley broke up. I overheard Smitty telling someone. Tim didn’t tell me, and it’s been two weeks. I’ve been by his side for two weeks while he’s been single, and nothing’s changed. I…,” she blew out a deep breath as she tried not to cry, “I don’t think he can ever love me, which means I’m about to die.”
“What about Chris? If you start falling for him, there’s a chance you can cure the disease.”
“I ended things with him last night. My condition hasn’t changed because of him, so there was no point in stringing him along. Can you believe it? Tim’s single, and he still doesn’t see me as anything more than his friend.” Lucy folded over as she harshly coughed up several blooms. Clutching the flowers that had flown out of her mouth, she asked Grace, “Why can’t he love me? Look at how much I love him!”
“Lucy, I’m so sorry.”
She threw the flowers into the trash can and tried to take a deep breath, which was growing harder to do by the day. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to hope today is an easy day, and at the end of shift, I’m telling him I’m done. Sorry to cut this appointment short, but Tamara is coming by the station to show me her new car, and I don’t want to be late. Thank you, Grace…for everything.”
“Even if you stop riding together, you should take other precautions. No hanging out with him for extended periods of time, no physical contact, and try not to think about him. I’ll send your pharmacy a prescription for another inhaler.”
Lucy knew that there was not much that could be done, but she appreciated Grace’s support regardless. “Thanks.”
Her hope for an easy day was squashed when she found drugs in Tamara’s new car that had been hidden by the previous owner and lead to the most unexpected shift she had ever experienced. Between meeting Tim’s and her own doppelgängers to being roped into going undercover together as a couple, the most believable part of her day was that she ended it with Tim in her living room, however their topic of conversation was bizarre.
Tim could hardly look at her as he spoke, “If we’re gonna make this work, our back story’s got to be air-tight.”
She was trying to keep her distance, but given the fact that he was seated on her couch as well, there was only so much she could do. “Agreed. Okay, so, um, how did Dim and Juicy meet?”
“At a barbecue.”
“That’s lame.”
“Really? You think you can do better?”
“Watch me.” She sat up straighter. “Okay, so, um...you were on the run from the cops. A bank robbery gone wrong. You ended up in my building frantic, looking for a place to hide, and, and I opened the door for you. I lied to the cops for you. And, ooh, and it got me so hot that we hooked up while they were still searching the building.”
His mouth fell open in stunned surprise. “Okay. That, that, that’s pretty good, actually.”
“Thank you,” she replied with a self satisfied smile. Though she tended to be more thorough when thinking about undercover personas, Lucy wanted Tim to leave, because her lungs were growing so heavy. Coughing up a few flowers would ease some of the pressure, but as Grace had diagnosed, she was in the final stage of the disease; anything and everything with him was bringing her closer to the end, and yet, she could not find it within herself to kick him out of her apartment or excuse herself to cough for a few minutes.
Since she failed to bring it up, he had to be the one to say, “So, look, we…we should…we should probably, you know, talk about the elephant in the room.” She hummed to show she was listening, so he continued, “You know, ’cause, i-if we’re gonna sell that we are, you know, actually boyfriend and girlfriend, then we might have to, uh...you know.” He gestured between them in lieu of explaining himself further.
His awkwardness was somehow adorable. To play on his obvious discomfort, she asked, “Have to…have to what?”
“We might have to...,” Tim gestured again, and he was getting frustrated that they could do so well as partners for charades, but in such a critical moment, she was not understanding him. “Do you...” He tried moving his hands again hoping to clarify his point.
After allowing him to struggle for long enough, she said, “Okay, okay. We might have to...PDA?”
There was a ghost of a smirk on her face that only made his heart race faster. She was teasing him. His palms were sweating, and she was teasing him. Tim sighed. “You know what? Forget it.”
“No. No. Okay. You’re right. I mean, if we’re gonna…if we’re gonna have to kiss, it probably shouldn’t be for the first time, right?” All rational thought flew out of her mind, because he was suggesting that they kiss, and that sounded like all she had ever wanted.
“That’s what I’m saying. Right. Yeah.”
“Should we maybe…uh, should we stand?”
“Yeah, I think we should stand.”
When they got to their feet, she studied him as if she could tell if it was all about work for him or if there was something more driving his actions. When he seemed so casual about leaning into her, she laughed nervously and stepped back. “No.”
Her prolonging the awkwardness of the whole situation was annoying. “We’re professionals. Let’s just get this done with.”
“Whoa, well, that’s romantic.”
“I’m not trying to be romantic.”
His words were sobering. While she loved him, he did not share any semblance of those feelings. Grace’s warnings rang in her ear. Physical contact would worsen her disease, so kissing was certainly going to wreak havoc on her already struggling lungs that were so full of flowers each breath took more effort than the one before. Lucy locked her eyes onto him and thought that even if their kiss would kill her, her dying breath would be tangled with his. It was romantic in a way. “I’m ready,” she said quietly. Ready to kiss him for perhaps the only time in her life. Ready for this moment to be her end. Ready.
Tim gave her a quick peck that would satisfy their need for practice while being cognizant of the strangeness of the situation.
“Okay…I’m s-, I’m sorry. Is that it?” If their kiss had the potential to turn fatal, she wanted it to be a real kiss. A good kiss. The kind of kiss worth giving the last of her life for.
“You know what? If-If you’re gonna criticize me-”
She clicked her tongue and grabbed his neck to pull his face down to hers. He tasted so familiar like if home was a flavor. His lips moved with hers in perfect tandem just as their bodies always did. Lucy was very cognizant of how his warm hands were so gentle on her while his tongue was more fierce. As far as final moments went, she thought hers were bliss.
He had never been so consumed by a kiss before, but he was coming undone by the second thanks to her. How had he lived his life without ever experiencing such an exhilarating feeling before? Tim never wanted it to stop. Unfortunately, he heard the front door open and sprung away due to the interruption. It was too soon for his liking to be breaking apart from Lucy, but their kiss was too good that it felt wrong for their lips to be locked so deliciously.
“Oh,” Lucy breathed, her cheeks flushing.
Tamara was stunned by the unexpected sight of Tim and Lucy making out in their living room. “Oh, uhh, I...I should probably go.”
“No. This is work. This is work,” Lucy said.
“Yeah, yeah. W-we’re, uh, we’re going undercover, and it’s-” He was struggling to find the right words or to even speak when his mouth only itched to slot with Lucy’s.
Tamara grinned. “Hey, it’s cool. I mean, you don’t have to explain yourself. I should probably go.” She watched Tim and Lucy fumble and mumble like idiots, and then Tim left the apartment like a bumbling fool. “I’m gonna go to my room,” she announced unnecessarily, wholly amused.
“Yeah, me-me, too,” Lucy responded. She stepped into her bedroom and shut the door behind her before bracing herself for a coughing fit that could be fatal.
But her lungs did not feel irritated.
They did not even feel full.
No flowers came heaving out of her mouth.
She tested her breathing and inhaled then exhaled more deeply than she had been able to for a while. “Oh my God,” she whispered to herself. He loved her. Now he loved her. She raced out of her apartment hoping Tim had not gone very far.
He heard her step out into the corridor behind him, so he stood from where he was leaning against the wall outside of her unit and turned around. “Lucy?”
She assumed he would be riding the elevator down or perhaps climbing into his truck, but the fact that he was still in the hallway was not at all what she expected. “What are you doing out here?”
“I was, uhh, I think I forgot something inside after all,” was the only lie he could come up with.
They both knew he was not telling the truth, so she smiled at him as she invaded his space. “Yeah, you forgot this,” she murmured before her face hurtled towards his.
No words. He had no words to describe the realization that struck him after their first kiss. The fact that she went back to him for another one was even more dizzying. Tim clung to her, desperately hoping he was not imagining her with him. Lucy sighed against his lips before diving back in, and he knew she was truly there and rather expertly turning his entire world upside down.
She rocked away to find his glazed over eyes, and her chest warmed. He loved her. He cured her with his love. “You should come back inside,” she whispered.
“That…I…we,” his mouth curved. “I’m not really sure what-” Words failed him.
“I know,” she said as she cradled his cheek.
“Uhh, this…this is…Lucy, I think I might, well, I…” He knew he was stammering through some sort of explanation of how one kiss unlocked something wholly unexpected inside of him, but it was hard to describe.
“I know,” she repeated herself with the beginning of a smile. “Tamara’s in her room. Wanna join me in mine?”
Tim gulped. That offer was too good to pass up. He followed her closely with his hands stuck on her hips as she backpedaled into her apartment beaming at him with the kind of affection she always showed him that he had never really noticed before.
He was staring, and she loved how both lost and aware he seemed all at once. ‘He loved her’ was the thought that kept swirling in her head as she lead him through the common area of her apartment and over to her open bedroom. Tim was looking at her like that, because he was still trying to grapple with his feelings for her. His fingers were digging into her that way due to how he was processing how his heart had changed. Lucy loved getting the chance to see him so unsure and off balance that was very unlike his usual confident and capable self. She sat down at the edge of her bed and took his hand. “We don’t need to have everything figured out right now. I just want you to stay a little longer.” It had been such a gamble to spend time with him ever since her diagnosis, but since she was newly cured, she could spend as much time around him as she pleased.
Tim could come to terms with the slew of feelings coursing through his veins later, but in that moment, he was only interested in her. He lowered himself onto the mattress next to Lucy and met her gaze without being sure what else to do. He did not want to be too forward, so he set his palms on his knees patiently waiting for her to take the next step.
“Stop freaking out,” she said when he was obviously so uneasy.
“How come you’re not?”
“Let’s just say I’ve been processing this for longer than you.”
“Oh,” he breathed.
“You know what I think would help?” She answered her own question by tenderly taking his face in her hands and quietly saying, “This,” before kissing him slowly. There was no need to rush when they could bask in the most recent development in their relationship. It was so natural how their lips molded together in an impossibly perfect way she wanted to experience unendingly.
Tamara opened Lucy’s bedroom door saying, “I was wondering if I could borrow- woah.”
Lucy felt Tim bite her lip in surprise before wrenching his mouth away from her. “Seriously?” She groaned. “Again?”
“Didn’t I just walk in on you in the other room?” Tamara asked, somewhat confused but also quite intrigued. “I’m not an idiot. You didn’t have to make up a lie about kissing for work, which was the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard.”
“That was true,” Lucy insisted.
“Oh, so is this for work?” She wondered as she motioned between them.
“N-no,” Tim answered. “This isn’t for work, right?”
“Definitely not,” Lucy replied happily.
“I promise not to interrupt for the rest of the night. Don’t forget to use protection.” Tamara giggled as she exited Lucy’s room and closed the door behind her.
“Should I go?” He questioned.
“I don’t want you to.” She dropped back onto the bed and took a fistful of his shirt to yank him down with her. “Please, stay.”
“How can I say ‘no’ when you asked so nicely.” He moved in for another kiss then paused. “What if we get interrupted again?”
“I’ll kill her,” she joked. “You better help me bury the body.”
“Oh, is that all, or do you want me to lie to the cops for you, too?”
“Well, only if we really want to commit to acting like Dim and Juicy,” she said with a chuckle.
“I wonder what they would do right about now.”
She hummed as she pondered it. “It doesn’t matter. I’d rather be us.”
Us. Tim rather liked the sound of that so much so that he grinned. “Me, too,” he replied before using his mouth for something better than talking.
Lucy got lost in their kiss that grew in ferocity the more their hands roved. A few times, they detached; sharing small smiles and fiery eyes while taking some much needed inhales, but for once, she was glad to be breathless. Instead of her lungs being filled with flowers as a manifestation of her love for him, Tim was taking her breath away as he expressed his own for her. It was no surprise that a new yet familiar, thrilling yet comfortable, and intense yet sweet love could be the cure to anything.