Chapter Text
Mumbo stared at the white walls.
White wool, as far as the eye could see. A padded cube, ten by ten by ten, with ample room to spread his hypothetical wings. Along one wall stood the only furnishings- his bed, (on which he sat), an ender chest, and BdoubleO.
Who was at that very moment snapping the second of Mumbo’s silver handcuffs in place around his wrist.
“Okay, now,” Bdubs said, “Grian told me, to tell you, to not hurt yourself, okay? ‘Cause it’ll be a real pain for Skizz to fix if you rip your wrists to ribbons.”
Mumbo chuckled.
“Yeah, no promises, mate. You know how it goes with these things.”
“Cool, close enough.”
Bdubs handed Mumbo the key to his manacles, and Mumbo opened the ender chest and dutifully dropped it inside.
Bdubs sat on the chest, and he sighed.
“You okay, mate?” Mumbo asked, and Bdubs shrugged.
“Yeah, fine. I kinda wish I could have seen Doc off, but…Ah, well. Can’t win ‘em all.”
Mumbo nodded.
“Yeah. Thanks, Bdubs. Grian and I really appreciate you doing this. You didn’t have to.”
“Course I did!” Bdubs said emphatically, “You guys are my friends, of course I’m gonna help you! Not anyone’s fault Grian hates being underground, and not your fault that’s the best place for ya to ride this all out. You know who’s not afraid of underground? Ol’ Bdubs, that’s who!”
Mumbo smiled, showing his fangs a little as Bdubs thumped his chest proudly.
“Anyway, uh, yeah. Shreep tight, don’t let the silverfish bite, thump them creepers if they give ya a fright. All that good stuff.” Bdubs said.
Mumbo nodded.
Bdubs wiped some of the accumulated spit from around his mouth, and fished a bunch of water-filled capsules out of his pocket, popping a few in his mouth and swallowing them.
“Is it getting bad again, Bdubs?” Mumbo asked, a frown pulling at his lips.
“Yeah. I mean- yeah. It is.” Bdubs shrugged, “Water’s a little- I don’t like it.”
“Have you talked to Skizz lately?” Mumbo asked, “He can probably beat it back for you, at least a little. So you can drink water again.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll go talk to him after I’m done here,” Bdubs said, “Stupid rabies. I don’t even mind it so much, but like, the fear of water thing? Kinda gets old after awhile. Ugh.”
Mumbo nodded sympathetically.
“I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from, dude.”
“Yeah. Yeah. You and me, we’re the only guys around here who, like, GET IT, you know?” Bdubs ate another water capsule, and waved a hand.
“Anyway! I’m wasting time. I gotta…uh…get up top.”
Bdubs punctuated his statement with a muffled yawn, and slapped himself in the face a few times.
“C’mon, no getting tired. It’s not even sundown yet!”
Mumbo chuckled, and he looked away.
“I know the answer is no,” Mumbo said softly, “but…Bdubs. Can’t you do your ritual? You know? Bring us the sun? Let us skip all this?”
Bdubs’ face fell.
“Mumbo…that’s what I’m gonna go do.” Bdubs said, shoulders slumping, “I’m gonna get up there and get to my bed and spend the whole damn night trying to bring the sun back. That’s what I do….EVERY bloodmoon.”
Mumbo nodded.
“Thanks, Bdubs. I really- I appreciate you trying. Even if-”
“Even if the moon don’t want to listen to me,” Bdubs said, shoulders sagging. He adjusted his moss cloak, and shrugged, “It’s the best I got. It’s…well, it’s all I got.”
Mumbo nodded.
“Anyway. Take care, don’t hurt yourself, see you in the morning!” Bdubs said brightly.
He left through the two-block hole in the wall, plugging it after himself with wool and obsidian.
Leaving Mumbo all alone with his thoughts in a barren, empty white cube.
“So, any plans for the evenin’?” Stress said fondly, as Iskall carefully snapped the second iron chain tight around her wrist.
“Oh, you know,” Iskall said with a big grin, “Go back to my base. Drink a lot of of coffee. Stand on my monolith. Throw rocks at stupid mobs and laugh. The usual.”
Stress snickered.
“Rocks, huh?”
“Well, maybe a few flaming arrows. Whatever.” Iskall waved his organic hand dismissively. His metal hand ran carefully over the iron cuff, checking the edges of it had been filed down properly. That it wouldn’t slash Stress’ wrists open when she started thrashing against it.
The brush of Iskall’s metal fingertips against Stress’ skin and bark prickled faintly. Like rubbing up against rough wood, like it was going to splinter. But she smiled, and ignored the sensation- because he didn’t want to hurt her, of course.
Intent mattered with these sorts of things.
That, and it was always a good idea to keep iron on the outside of her body. Embedded iron would sap her strength, and not in a fun way.
“And you, Stress? Any plans for tonight?”
“Hmm. Well, I reckon I’m gonna fall asleep, an’ then get moonstruck, lose me marbles till sunrise, an’ then pass out for realsies.” Stress said with a wry smile, “you’ll make me breakfast, yeah?”
“You know I will.” Iskall chuckled. He reached into his inventory, eyes glazing over as his organic hand pawed at thin air, and from the ether he plucked-
-a can of energy drink.
“Here! To keep your strength up.” He snickered.
Stress’ glowing eyes bugged out, and across her body, her patches of bark started to puff up with spikes.
“Iskall, no, I ain’t lettin’ that swill inside my stomach. That’ll kill me bees!”
Iskall snorted, and cracked the can. Iskall smiled, and traded the can from fleshy fingers to metal ones with a clank.
“Oh well. More for me.” He snickered, and took a sip.
Stress wrinkled her nose.
“Just ‘cause you got a heart made of metal, doesn’t mean you should overtax it like that,” Stress sighed, and he shrugged.
“Well, not like I got a whole lot of choice. I’m gonna be up all night, you know. Besides,” Iskall said, suppressing a yawn, “I’m kind of tired.”
“You are?” Stress frowned.
“Yeah, but it’s probably nothing.” Iskall waved his hand, “Like, I didn’t sleep too well last night, probably. Something like that.”
“Yeah,” Stress sighed.
And from under her chest, a furious buzz indicated that her bees didn’t approve either.
Iskall sat down on the bed next to her, the mattress dipping, and the two of them stared at the door. Stress leaned over, letting her head (and horns) rest on his shoulder.
“I hate this.” she said softly, “I really do.”
“I’m sorry, Stress.” Iskall said, “If there was a safer way to do this, without the chains, we totally-”
“It’s not the chains. It’s just- it’s all of this. I don’t like- losing meself. Knowing I just- I black out, an’ I could go and do who knows what. I don’t...” Stress shuddered.
Iskall put an arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah. I…I get it.” he said quietly, and Stress nodded.
“I wish we could just remove these moons, you know? But…”
“Yeah. I’m sorry Stress.”
Iskall suppressed half a yawn, and then took another hearty swig from his can of energy drink. And then, impulsively, he turned and planted a quick peck on her forehead.
“You should go if you’re already gettin’ tired. I’ll be here.” Stress sighed, giving Iskall a fond pat.
He stood up, then, nodding at her.
“Sleep tight, Stress. I’ll come let you out as soon as the sun rises.”
“I will. And you look after yourself, yeah! And- your cats! No lettin’ them get killed by skeletons, you hear?” Stress folded her arms, and her bees buzzed aggressively.
Iskall put a hand over his chest, his one eye wide and innocent.
“Oh, of course. I’ll…totally look after my cats,” he nodded, “One hundred percent. That’s a promise. Yep.”
Stress smiled.
“‘Cause if your cats die, you’ll be heartbroken! An’ I’ll have to get you lots an’ lots of new cats to replace ‘em!” She said cheerfully, followed by an accompanying buzz from the hive under her shirt.
Iskall’s eyes bugged out, and Stress laughed, the flowers growing out of her wooden horns shaking as she did.
“I. Uh. I gotta. Go. And. Take care of something. Yeah!” He said, “Look, Stress, I’ll come get you in the morning, okay?”
Stress snickered, and waved at Iskall.
He sealed the obsidian box up behind him, and she sighed and tucked herself into bed. Her enderchest hummed ominously at the foot of the bed, and Stress smiled.
She closed her eyes and waited for the tiredness to take her.
Though…it was kind of odd. She should have been yawning during that conversation with Iskall, and yet…
…why did she feel so wide-awake?
<Docm77> Ren is in lockup over the ocean. I will be retiring to my base. Do not bother me until daybreak if you value your life.
<iJevin> Ditto and ditto.
<Tango> Same on all counts. You don’t wanna get roasted, don’t talk to me.
<Zombiecleo> That makes five of us. Bother me and get bit, you know the drill by now.
<Xisuma> Cub, Scar?
<Cubfan135> we’re in position, give us a sec. Don’t bother us till sunup.
<GoodtimewithScar> unless you want a really unpleasant surprise :J
The chain was made of gold. Heavy and soft, for any other hermit a gold chain would have been an impractical and annoying wrist obstruction until they found a way to bend their way free.
For Impulse, though?
As the gold chain snapped tight around his wrist, he felt the strength leach from his arms, felt his human disguise shift into something more…oppressive. Instead of being a comfy skin he wore like a beloved warm hoodie, he felt suffocating and cloying. Like that same comfortable hoodie, but worn in direct sunlight in the middle of a desert.
He was cooking alive, in other words.
Impulse fanned his wings and sighed, eyes looking up at Zed mournfully.
“This really sucks.” he said, and Zed smiled and nodded.
“Sorry, Impulse.”
“Yeah, sorry dude,” Tango said as he carefully locked the chain around Impulse’s other wrist, “Like, I’m sure if he could, Bdubs would just love to bend time so we never have to see this, but-”
“The all-consuming power of Bdubs pales in comparison to the power of a large orbiting rock wearing edgy makeup. Yeah, I know.” Impulse groused.
“If it’s any consolation, I’m also gonna be a bit of a mess,” Tango said, a soft smile on his face, “I mean, raging around guarding my base burning anything in sight, but-”
“But you don’t go on the attack,” Impulse countered, “You just…you know. Hang around and guard your ‘fortress.’ I…I go off on a tear, and…”
“Okay, now both of you, stop it.” Zed said firmly, folding his arms, “It is what it is, alright? It’s not fair, but then life isn’t fair. So don’t blame yourselves. Alright?”
“I wasn’t blaming myself,” Tango countered, “I was bitching. There’s a difference!”
Zed snorted.
“Alright, well, as long as you two are just having a whinge, that’s alright then.”
Zedaph suppressed a yawn, and blinked a few times.
Impulse frowned.
“Zed? You good?”
“I’m just kinda…tired,” Zed said, “It’s been a long day, though. I’ve been staying up too late this week, I think.”
Tango rolled his eyes.
“Zed, you GOTTA start taking care of yourself!”
“Oh, like you’re one to talk, Tango ‘wiring Decked Out ‘till 3AM’ Tek!”
Impulse burst out laughing.
“Man. Guys. I don’t even know what I’d do without you…” he said fondly.
He looked into Zed’s eyes, his soft human eyes, and then over at Tango, deep into the blaze-red fires.
And he shook his head.
“Alright, key me, and you two get out of here.”
Tango handed over the golden key, and Impulse dropped it in his ender chest.
And with a wave from Zed and a smile from Tango, they left through the two block hole in the side of his prison cube, patching it up behind themselves.
Impulse laid down on the bed on his front, flicking his tail with a sigh.
Nothing for it but to wait.
xB flicked his tail, watching as Cub laid out the last lines of the magic circle in salt. Scar’s legchair hopped from candle to candle as he lit the tall columns of wax, and xB twiddled one of the barbels in his beard.
xB was a sturgeon hybrid, after all, so none of this was his concern.
The underground cavern was cold, but as the magic circle came to life, the air grew several degrees warmer. Blue light charged with Vex magic illuminated the gloomy cave, and xB stared into the complex network of lines and sigils that Cub had painstakingly laid out on the ground.
His Vex wings glowed blue, comically small and tattered things emerging from his back. Next to him, Scar’s own wings glowed too, and the two Hermits had maws full of sharp, scary teeth.
“So, that’s done it?” xB said, and Cub nodded.
“Yep. Now all we gotta do is get me and Scar in there, and I’ll turn it on. You leave, we pass out. Come get us at sunup, and if you don’t, well, the candles’ll burn down and let us go anyway.” Cub said with a shrug.
“Oh, I’ll come get you guys.” xB nodded, “No doubt about that. Not leaving you in suspended animation for any longer than it takes.”
Cub smiled.
He stepped through the circle, and Scar’s legchair delicately hopped through a second later.
The blue light bent around them, and as soon as they were inside, xB crouched down by the final candle, connected to the ring with a thin tendril of magic.
Cub picked up Scar, helping him out of his legchair, and carefully laid him on the ground of the sigil. The chair itself helpfully sat on the ground, patiently waiting for Scar to get back in it.
The man himself smiled, folding his arms over his chest in an X shape, and closed his eyes.
“Comfy?” xB asked, and Scar nodded.
“Yep. Ready to drift off to my, uh, unnatural snooze.” He giggled.
“Bit of a shame we can’t just do this to everyone else,” xB said idly, playing with his lighter, “But-”
“But it’s extremely dangerous?” Cub said, “C’mon man, we’ve been over this. This sigil is super-precise to Vex-type stuff. We start sticking anyone else besides us two in here, they might never wake up. May as well just drug everyone if that’s what you’re after.”
“Yeah, fair,” xB sighed, “Oh well.”
Cub laid down next to Scar, his head pointing the other way. He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled.
“Besides, this is actually pretty comfy,” Cub said cheerfully, “This is basically how Vex keep their Evokers when they aren’t needed. We just, uh-”
“Stabbed our middleman a few times.” Scar said brightly.
“Alright. So, nothing pinched, nothing uncomfortable?” xB asked, and Scar and Cub both nodded.
“Hit it!” Cub said.
xB lit the final candle, and Cub and Scar closed their eyes.
The circle blazed with power, and the two of them fell silent as sleep claimed them.
xB stood up, and walked away from the sigil.
It always felt a bit scummy putting them under like that, which was why he’d drawn the short straw. But…well.
Vex could phase through blocks.
Zedaph sighed, leaning against the wall of his base. Beside him, Skizz, who looked a little uneasy.
“Dude, I gotta wonder,” Skizz said, “Why…like, why. Why does this keep happening? Who even allowed bloodmoons to be a thing? Was it the devs? Because this is a seriously sick joke, if that’s the case.”
Zed shrugged, and stretched his muscles, blinking a few times.
“I dunno. It’s just sort of…a thing? A thing we gotta deal with. It’s not really fair, but at least Joe can predict it ahead of time, so. No big deal.”
“I guess.” Skizz sighed, “I just…I don’t like the idea of my best friend being reduced to a mindless husk.”
Zed shook his head.
“They’re…not mindless,” He said softly, “They never are. I- you know, before we got the early warning system, before we all agreed that this’d be for the best…it was…”
He waved a hand.
“They’re not mindless. More…confused? I guess confused is the best way to put it. I mean, hybrids don’t go bonkers during a bloodmoon, they just get…aggressive.”
“But monsters do go bonkers.” Skizz said miserably. The shine of his halo dimmed slightly, and he fluffed up his wings.
There was a pause.
“Zed, buddy. You want some help with that hangnail?”
Zedaph burst out laughing, even as his eyes started to sag.
“Yeah, sure. Heal me, Skizz. Go on, it’ll cheer you up!” Zed smiled, offering his hand.
Skizz took Zed’s hand. Zedaph could feel the artificial warmth- Skizz felt like a heating pad, and his hand was a little bit heavier than a hand should properly be.
“Be Well.” Skizz commanded, the two words echoing through the air. Warm shivers rattled up Zed’s spine and resonated through his body, like he was a bell that had been struck. His fingernail went warm, and then cooled down- as Skizz’s power wiped away the hangnail and the lingering infection in Zed’s nail bed.
“There we go. All better.” Skizz said with a smile.
“And now my hand doesn’t hurt! Thanks mate, that’s brilliant.” Zed said brightly.
Skizz shook his head.
“You’re just lucky I don’t hurt you when I do that. Aren’t you borderline undead?”
Zed waved a hand.
“Only when I decide to be. And only with a scythe in my hand. Otherwise, nope! Just as alive as the rest of us.”
Skizz sighed.
“Yeah. You know, I tried to heal Bdubs yesterday…”
Zed nodded sympathetically.
“It didn’t work?”
“Of course it didn’t!” Skizz groaned, “Like, dude, I don’t get it. Rabies isn’t SUPPOSED to be a long-term thing! It’s just in, symptoms, dead! But with Bdubs, he’s got rabies, and no matter what I do- I can’t cure it! How it hasn’t killed him yet is beyond me, seriously.”
Zed shrugged.
“Probably worth dropping it, then. I mean, you’ll just stress yourself out.”
Skizz nodded.
“Yeah. That…yeah. It sucks, but I guess…I guess I just have to…”
“Give up?” Zed countered, “Skizz. Would you try and cure the zombie out of Cleo?”
“No, that’d kill- ohhhhh. Oh, okay. Okay, Zeddy-bop. I’m picking up what you’re putting down.” Skizz tapped the side of his head, “Alright, I’ll give it a rest.”
Zed nodded proudly.
“See? Cutting your losses. Not a bad plan.”
The sky overhead was growing darker, and Skizz looked up and sighed.
“I guess I should…probably get going. Do we gotta worry about the mobs?”
“Not really.” Zed said, “If you’re scared, dig down two blocks and play tetris on your comm until morning. I mean, even if the worst happens and Impulse gets out, I can take care of it.”
Skizz smiled.
“Thanks, Zed.”
And he spread his wings, and flew out of Zed’s ravine.
As soon as he was gone, Zed…yawned.
And then he yawned again.
“Mmmmfg…Why am I so tired?” he mumbled, stumbling his way down the ravine and into his cave.
Towards his bed.
He flopped into it, shoes still on.
“Maybe I just…rest m’eyes a few…” Zed mumbled, eyes sagging closed.
They slammed shut, and Zed’s breathing evened out.
And on Zedaph’s neglected comm, a message buzzed.
<The Blood Moon is rising…>