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1
The problem with having such a big group of friends and family was where meetups had to happen.
The Byers-Hopper house was too small, even with the newly purchased building and a bedroom for each kid, plus one for the adults. Eddie and Wayne’s new house, small but clean and filled with their new belongings, paid for by an increasingly frustrated government agent as Eddie and his uncle had listed off their missing items, was also too small. The Wheeler house might have worked, but that would require the presence of the Wheelers – Karen probably would have been fine, but Ted was not. The Buckley home was also a no-go.
Dustin’s house was too cramped, just the right size for him and his mom.
So the Harrington house it was.
Eddie watched as Steve buzzed around the kitchen, checking temperatures and stirring pots, and tried to keep his eyes from catching on him for too long at once. No one needed to be a witness to him ogling Steve’s ass, thanks.
Thanksgiving was a time for many things, but getting caught checking out a man’s ass was not one of them.
They had all survived the Upside Down. They had all made it back home. All of them were alive and well and, fuck, honestly, that was the thing he was the most thankful for. Wayne had been filled in on the happenings, been led to the hospital where Eddie had been clawing his way back to life and the land of the living, and he had refused to leave them all alone since. He was one of the people alerted when anything even moved funny, now.
He and Hopper both liked fishing and watching sports together.
Right now, he was nursing a beer, listening to Mike and Will and Dustin as the three of them rattled off information about their new characters, the one-shot Will was going to run for the break, and Mike’s newest miniature. He’d had years of practice of listening to someone running a thousand miles a minute when they spoke, thanks to Eddie. Wayne had a genuine smile on his face, though, and he’d referred to them as his grandkids to Eddie, before.
The front door opened, letting in a wave of cold air, and Eddie looked up to see Joyce and Hopper walk in, followed by El and Jonathan. Will had gotten picked up by Nancy and Mike, piling into the door in a mush of teenage boys all talking over each other, with Lucas and Dustin being the loudest.
Before everything, before Vecna and the Upside Down, Eddie hadn’t ever had a big holiday. This was his first big celebration.
He knew these people, loved all of them in different ways, had nearly died with some, and actually died for a minute in front of others. With all of the excitement and drama out of the way, however, he wasn’t quite sure where he was supposed to go. Or what he was supposed to do. Didn’t know what any of them wanted from him, really. He and Steve were friendly, if he could just ignore that flirting he’d done at Steve when he’d thought he was going to die. Did Steve catch that, had he understood it was flirting?
Someone’s hands waved in front of his face and Eddie startled a little, seeing Robin in front of him. She grinned, perching in a chair across from him. “Hey,” she greeted, hands folded together on the table. “What’s got you thinking?”
“My place in the whole wide universe,” Eddie shrugged. “You?”
“Kind of the same, actually,” Robin looked around. “It feels so…Weird. That it’s normal.” She glanced back at him, catching his gaze. “Right?”
“Yeah.”
“We went through this whole big thing, this nightmare of a situation,” Robin dropped her chin into her hand, staring at a point above and beyond his shoulder. “And we’re supposed to just keep going on with our lives. No one else knows about it except for the people who caused it. We’re not allowed to talk about it to anyone but those who went through it with us and the carefully selected therapists,” Robin heaved out a sigh. “And now we’re all having Thanksgiving dinner together.”
She grinned and Eddie laughed.
“Does Steve need help in there?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, gesturing vaguely.
“He chased me off when I almost knocked over a pan of something,” Robin shrugged. “You could offer, but he gets territorial about his kitchen when he’s making food.”
“Right,” Eddie held up his hands. “That’s me told. Staying where I am.”
“He doesn’t bite,” She giggled and Eddie wanted to keep a piece of the warmth it caused – the one that insisted she was family, a friend, someone he could trust. He’d never really been interested in girls. There’d been a couple he might have felt something for, but there had never been any he’d been interested in. “He just wants to make sure it’s perfect for his whole family.” Turning her head, Robin tracked the movement of something. Eddie turned too, watching as Joyce and Hopper approached the kitchen with a couple of platters.
Steve had been muttering about turkey and stuff earlier, Eddie remembered. He was pretty sure that’s what Hopper had brought.
“He will let me back into the kitchen when it comes time to serve dessert, though,” Robin spoke again. Eddie turned back to look at her, his head tilted. “Apparently, there are brownies planned. Once everything is on the table, he’s going to put them in the oven. Serve it with ice cream – there’s a couple of flavors to go with those and we’re a good team at scooping.”
“Wait, what?” Eddie snorted. “Okay, that’s a really weird skill.”
“We worked at Scoops Ahoy together,” Robin shrugged again. “It’s just one of those things you pick up. We can work in a cramped space together and make sure we don’t run into each other.”
“Oh,” Eddie’s thoughts drifted a little, trying to wrangle an image together of Steve in those stupid little shorts. “Wait, did they make you wear that awful uniform?"
“Yep,” she popped the ‘p’ in a way that made him giggle. “Corporate’s demands.”
“Shit, I wish I could have seen S—” Eddie stopped, fear suddenly clutching at him, at his lungs. He wasn’t out, yet, not to everyone currently around him. Wayne knew, Wayne had probably known before Eddie had, but no one else knew. “I wish I could have seen someone in those uniforms.” He grinned at her.
It had been meant to be reassuring, but Robin’s face did something weird.
“Uh,” Robin grimaced. “Yeah. I’m not interested in you, Munson, sorry.” She leaned back a little, the warmth between them disappearing.
“No, no,” Eddie felt panic rushing in, hands up and waving. “Not trying to—” he stopped, caught something else in her expression, then leaned back a little. It was like finishing a puzzle, finding the solution to a problem, and having everything unlock. “I’m not interested in you, Buckley.” He said it with as much polite disgust as he could muster.
Eddie saw when she caught on, the exact same way he had.
“If I’m not into you,” Robin started slowly, leaning back in. “And you’re not into me…”
“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. “I’m really not into you.”
“Oh,” Robin blinked a couple of times, then leaned in all the way. She glanced into the kitchen, then back at Eddie, whose chair was positioned exactly where the best view of the kitchen from the dining room was. “But you’re into someone.”
“And you’re really not my type,” Eddie nodded again, shrugging a little. “Sorry, Buckley.”
“It’s fine, you’re really not my type either,” Robin hesitated, tangling her hands together. He could tell she wanted to say something else, something louder, but the present company was of unknown opinions. “…C’mon, you need to talk to someone. Trust me, it’s better than you think.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of his chair.
“Easy, Buckley, I only got the okay to stop using my cane a week ago!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Robin led him into the kitchen, leaning him against the counter where there was a clear space. “Steve?”
“Yeah?” Steve looked around, closing the oven. “Robin, what’s—”
Robin took a deep breath, glancing at Eddie, then looking back at Steve. “Just so we’re clear and I’m not misunderstanding,” she started. “I like boobies.”
“…I like boobies too,” Steve leaned against the stove, crossing his arms over his chest. Something unclenched inside of Eddie at the way he said it, nonchalant and calm and uncaring. He knew and he still cared about Buckley, he didn’t hate her, and he didn’t want her hurt. Fuck, even beyond that – Eddie knew they were attached at the hip. “What’s happening?”
Robin kept her eyes on Steve, not saying anything.
“…Eddie?” Steve looked at him.
“I don’t,” Eddie muttered.
“What?”
“I don’t.” Eddie raised his voice a little, cleared his throat, and then nodded. “You and Buckley both like boobs. I don’t.”
Steve’s entire body went unclenched, his face going a little slack. “Shit, okay,” he hesitated, made a few awkward movements, then moved closer to Eddie. “Are you okay with me touching you?” He always made sure to ask and it was part of why Eddie thought he was attractive, honestly.
“Yeah,” Eddie looked at the floor. “As long as it’s not…”
He couldn’t think of how to end that sentence. That seemed to be okay, though, because Steve had dragged him into a tight hug before he could even try more than twice to find the right words.
The dam in his heart broke, letting him start shaking as he clutched Steve’s shoulders. “Sorry,” Eddie muttered, hiding his face in the fabric of Steve’s shirt. “Sorry, shit, man, I’m sorry.” There were tears rolling down his cheeks, his face hot as he waited for everything to level back out a little bit. “Sorry, sorry,”
“It’s okay, don’t apologize,” Steve muttered. He kept Eddie close until he stopped shaking. When Eddie felt like he could breathe without crying some more, he stepped back so he could see Steve’s face. Steve smiled. “I know I was shitty in the past, but I’m…I don’t want to be that. Not anymore. He was a dick.” He slowly let go of Eddie, sighing. “If I ever said or did anything to you that made you think it wasn’t safe, I’m sorry.”
“No, you’ve been great,” Eddie swiped at his cheeks, laughing. “I just…I thought I was alone in our little group.”
“There’s a couple,” Robin smiled. “I’ll have to ask permission to share information all around, but there’s a couple.”
“You aren’t alone now, just like you weren’t alone then,” Steve turned back to pull a tray of something that smelled like garlic and potatoes in the best way out of the oven. “We didn’t let you be alone in the nightmare we lived through; we aren’t going to let you be alone now.” He turned to both of them. “Now I need Robin to help me get things to the table and Eddie to help me wrangle the little shits. They will actually listen to him.”
He clapped Eddie on the shoulder as he turned to leave the kitchen again.
He wanted to clutch the warmth in his heart close for the bad days, keep it tangled around his hands as a weapon, as armor. There had always been rumors about him, names thrown around, and slurs used to hit him, but no one had ever actually had it confirmed and been okay with it.
Not until Wayne.
And now he had three people who knew and still cared about him.
2
One person was pretty easy to come out to.
Two people was a little harder, but easier to do when the first person already knew without an actual confirmation. Robin had broken the ice and dragged him off to find someone else who would listen and care and not try to kill him. Thanksgiving had been great, seated next to both of them and next to Wayne, listening to the family that had been built into something better than the nightmares at the foundation of it all. El had a sense of humor that fit into the best moments, catching everyone off guard with perfectly timed comments. Will was softer-spoken than the rest, but he crackled with an intelligent sort of wit that Eddie wished he’d been able to DM for.
Having the whole group together for his games would have been amazing.
But now it was Christmas.
Another hurdle to leap, another attempt at gathering up the pieces of himself he tried to hide and stuffing them into the closet. Steve and Robin and Wayne knew, now. He was pretty sure the rest of them wouldn’t freak out, but it was…Difficult. Believing it as a certainty.
Eddie laid on the floor, staring up at the inside of the Christmas tree Steve had wrangled into a corner of the living room. There were lights and ornaments and candy canes hanging from all of the branches. None of them were personalized, Eddie had realized the moment he’d seen the tree. All of his and Wayne’s had to fit on the little tree they kept on the counter, but they were things that were special. One Eddie had made for Wayne when he’d started living with him, gifted with absolutely no eye contact and a minimum of words. One that Wayne had dug out of a stored box somewhere with a picture of baby Eddie, the date of his first Christmas ever on the back. One that had been drawn by Eddie’s mom that he’d brought with him everywhere he lived.
Steve didn’t have any of that.
He was still operating off of what his parents had left behind once Hawkins had finished with the Upside Down. They had given the house to him and fucked off to places unknown, not even caring to get their money by selling it. Steve had the decorations they had left behind, the plates and bowls and dishes they had left, and the entire house felt like a shell.
Three days before Christmas, Steve had nothing of his own on the tree.
A body dropped down next to him, and Eddie turned to look. Jonathan, mostly sober, looked back. He hadn’t seen the guy for a while, but it was good to see him now. “Hey man,” Eddie grinned.
“Hey,” Jonathan nodded. “What’re you doing?”
“Inspecting the tree,” Eddie jerked his chin up, shrugging. “It looks cool from underneath. Kind of like the night sky.”
Turning, Jonathan stared up into the branches. “Huh,” he muttered. “Yeah, it does.”
His mom had done this with him, as a kid. Back when they’d had a tree, a couple of years in a row.
“Anything you needed?” Eddie ventured after a few minutes. “Am I needed somewhere?”
“Robin told me you weren’t interested in her,” Jonathan’s voice went quieter than usual. “And she told me to talk to you about it.”
Oh.
“Are you…Not interested in her?” Eddie hesitated, his hands clenching in the fabric of his shirt.
“I was interested in Nancy,” Jonathan kept his eyes focused on the tree above them. “And…Others.” He blinked, then again, then lifted his chin. “Specific others. Don’t know if they’re interested in me, but...”
“Oh.”
Jonathan was bisexual?
Eddie nudged his elbow against Jonathan’s, grinning when the other looked at him. “Good luck with that.”
“Thanks,” Jonathan heaved out a sigh of relief. “It’s never easy to say, is it?”
“No, it’s not.”
Years and years of knowing that, of having trouble even when it seemed safe. You never knew if it really was, if someone would use it against you.
“Talk to her, by the way,” Jonathan added, dragging Eddie out of his thoughts. “Nancy, I mean. She understood about me. And…And I think she’ll understand about you. She’s good at shit like that.” He went back to staring up into the tree, his breathing slow and even. His hands were laced together on his stomach.
His hands—
“You’re a photographer, right?” Eddie sat up a little, almost smacking his face into the tree.
“Yeah.”
“Can you do me a favor?”
Jonathan emerged from under the tree, facing Eddie as they both fully sat up. “What’s that?”
“I want to make something for Steve.” He gestured at the tree. “None of his ornaments are…Real. Shit, that’s not the right word,” Eddie groaned, rubbing at his face. “Happy? Personal? I don’t fucking know, man, none of them are the sort of shit I grew up with. I’m used to having family ones.”
With a smile, Jonathan nodded. “I think I know what you mean. We’ve got ornaments with our birthdays on them at home, ‘baby’s first Christmas’ and all of that stuff. El even has one, we made it for her after we got her birth certificate. Did you want a photo of the tree or something?” He gestured around the room, where everyone was talking and decorating. Joyce was in the kitchen with Steve, helping him make dinner for the whole group. Wayne was holding a string of lights while Max unraveled the ends of it, the braces on her legs a huge step up from the wheelchair and crutches she’d been in several months earlier.
Eddie shook his head, smiling. “I kind of want a picture of the whole party. Or photos of everyone, one-on-one, so I can make ornaments out of each of us.”
“I can do both,” Jonathan offered. “You’re right, his tree just looks like it came out of a catalogue or something.”
“Expensive and emotionless,” Eddie sighed. “Not like him at all.”
“…Are you interested in him?” Jonathan lowered his voice again, his head tilting as he asked.
“Shit,” Eddie hid his face in his hands.
It was obvious, wasn’t it?
“I won’t say anything,” Jonathan patted his shoulder. “And I’ll get you those photos. I can do the group one tonight – I’ve got one of my cameras here, right now, and I have a timer so I can be in the photo as well.”
“Thanks, man.”
Jonathan stood up. “No problem.”
When he got the photos, Eddie went to work quickly.
Cut, glue, decorate. Repeat a lot of times, until his hands kind of hurt, to get it all done by Christmas. Nancy had apparently sent along the backing for the ornaments once Jonathan had told her what the photos were for.
He left the box, wrapped as nicely as he could manage, on Steve’s porch.
On Christmas day, all of them clustered together again, Eddie nearly cried when Steve opened his gift. His face lit up, his eyes bright and his cheeks flushed, as he unearthed each photo ornament. Eddie had put little Santa hats on some of them, candy canes on others, and random other Christmas décor on the rest. All of them had a bell attached to the bottom, jingling happily as Steve picked them up.
After gift-giving was over, Steve approached the tree and carefully nestled each one into the branches.
Eddie watched him, smiling into his mug of hot cocoa.
3
Having a reliable group to meet up with made the holidays seem less…Fraught.
Eddie watched as Robin chased some of the kids around with party hats, joined in her chaos-seeking mission by Erica and Max. New Year's Eve had rolled around and Eddie was perched on a comfy chair that Steve had gotten somewhere and dragged home. It stood out against the furniture his parents had left behind, but it was a good chair. It was like the ornaments had gotten him to start caring about what his house looked like for himself.
Steve had started talking to Joyce and Hopper about other furniture as well, according to El and Will.
Eddie felt warmth in his chest as he watched the man himself flitting about the room, already a victim of Robin’s demands to put on a cone-shaped hat to ring in the New Year. Steve looked better when he wasn’t living by someone else’s standards, Eddie decided. When he was allowed to care about his people and protect them, he was a fierce sort of knight. A Barbarian’s fighting style with a Paladin’s sense of what was right and what was wrong.
The scars that lingered on his body, the loss of hearing in his left ear, and the glasses he wore constantly now all were marks of that.
The blood that had stained his hands as he’d dragged Eddie’s unresponsive body out of the Upside Down had been all the proof Eddie had needed that Steve Harrington had changed. He’d been into the guy for years, angry that he’d been hot in high school, but that had changed it. The fires had been banked to a slow burn from the descriptions the kids had given of how cool Steve was, and how protective he was of them. Attractive had been one thing, you could hate someone you thought was hot, but his perception of Steve had started shifting and then he’d been screwed.
Asshole to Babysitter to Protector to Personal Hero.
And now Steve Harrington was the sort of guy who still had his Christmas tree up so he could show off the ornaments Eddie Munson had made for him.
He’d been attracted to him for years, by now.
But attraction was different from the warmth that filled him when he looked at Steve and saw him smile.
Eddie looked up when he saw Nancy veering towards him, her hands held together in front of her. She hesitated, not saying anything, before dropping down onto the chair next to him. “I talked to Jonathan,” she offered eventually.
“Ah,” Eddie nodded. “Did he tell you to talk to me?”
“Yes,” Nancy smiled, a touch awkward at the edges. “And I just…I needed to tell you.” She stopped, closed her eyes, and seemed to sort something out in her head. “I’m not interested in you, Eddie.” Her hands clenched together, having not once broken apart, and Eddie watched as her knuckles turned white. “I’m not.” She opened her eyes again and Eddie saw a flash of panic there. “Or in Steve.”
“Or Jonathan?” Eddie asked, his voice soft.
She looked at him, her lips pressed together. “There was someone I thought I was supposed to be. Someone who dated people like Steve. I broke him, Eddie. I think I really broke him. So we broke up,” Nancy whispered. “And Jonathan and I broke up because of both of us. He was interested in someone else and I…Wasn’t interested in him. Not anymore. If I ever actually was.”
Eddie reached out an arm, hovering over her shoulders for a few seconds before she nodded. When he hugged her, an odd angle and one-armed, Nancy seemed to relax. “I’m not interested in you, either, Nancy Wheeler.” He whispered.
Nancy cracked a smile and Eddie understood.
Jonathan had told them to talk to each other to give support to both of them. Without outing either of them.
Eddie nudged his chin against the top of her head. “It gets a little easier with the people you tell,” he whispered to her. “With everyone you tell.”
“Does it?”
“Yeah,” Eddie giggled. “Talk to Steve. He’s good about it. I told him about me at Thanksgiving.” He paused, then laughed again. “Although, that might be a little weird for you.”
“It might just be,” Nancy giggled too, prodding gently at his side. “That’s my ex.”
He held onto her, keeping an eye on the clock.
They were close to midnight.
“Do you need anything?” Eddie muttered, his chin still on the top of her head. He angled down a little, practically whispering in her ear. “We can go talk somewhere, if you need. We can sit quietly. I can probably start something by saying something upsetting to the little shits about how I’m going to kill off their characters.” He grinned when she giggled again. “Just tell me if you need to talk about it, okay? No pressure, no problems with anything. I’ll listen.”
Nancy nodded, pulling back so she could look at him, meeting his eyes. “Thanks, Eddie.”
“Here,” Steve’s voice interrupted, a pair of cups offered to them. “Have some cider. I didn’t want the kids to try and sneak anything alcoholic, so that’s waiting until they all go pass out.” He smiled, though Eddie could tell there was something off at the edges of it.
“Thanks, Steve,” Nancy took a cup first, taking a small sip.
Eddie followed her lead, cheering Steve before he did the same. “Yep, thanks, Stevie.”
The weirdness in Steve’s smile faded, leaving it purely happy, and Eddie’s chest loosened. He nodded back at Eddie, then turned and wandered off to stand at Robin’s side as she cornered Mike. “Oh, good luck, Buckley,” Nancy took another sip, watching the other girl. They watched as Steve put his hands on his hips, saying something to Mike. After a few seconds, he gestured up at the hat on his own head and Eddie nearly lost it, clamping his lips together to avoid howling with laughter.
He would have to fill Wayne in on everything that happened tonight. He’d grown really fond of these people, just like Eddie had. Unfortunate that he’d needed to work on New Year’s Eve, but he’d be home for the New Year, and they could have their usual listening-to-music party then. One of Wayne’s records, something Eddie would pretend to hate but actually loved, and one of Eddie’s records – Something Wayne would pretend to hate but actually loved.
“So…” He turned to look at Nancy, who was swirling her cider in her cup, leaning back on one hand. “Steve.”
Caught.
Fuck.
Caught like a rat in a goddamn trap.
“I, uh,” Eddie stuttered, dragging a hank of hair in front of his mouth. “Shit.”
“You’d be less likely to get caught if you didn’t stare like you were trying to memorize him,” Nancy shrugged. “Just to let you know.”
“I—”
“Eddie,” Nancy shook her head. “He’s my ex for a couple of reasons. We were never going to work out.” She sighed, took another sip of her cider, then nodded towards Steve. “The first time I slept with him, I lost my best friend. I think…I think I slept with the wrong person, that night. We were supposed to go back to my house. We always shared my bed when she slept over. Nothing like what Steve and I did, but…She should have gone to sleep in my bed that night.” She closed her eyes for a second. “And I think I just got caught up in all of the moments leading up to it, everything took such a strong hold, Steve was great—” Nancy stopped, opening her eyes again, then turned to look at Eddie. “But he wasn’t for me. He never was. He’s a great guy, especially now that Tommy and Carol aren’t hanging around. I fucked him up and I don’t know how to fix it, but he is really a great guy.”
“But not for you?” Eddie felt the question reverberating in his stomach, his hands clenching as he waited.
Nancy Wheeler, never one to fuck around or hesitate, nodded. “He’ll be great for someone, one day. Not me.” She grinned. “You should give it a try.” She turned when the room lit up with counting, holding up her cup and beginning to count down with everyone else.
Eddie sat there, stunned and silent, until she leaned in and kissed his cheek.
“One for good luck, Munson,” she whispered.
4
Valentine’s Day was an exercise in pure torture.
Steve had gathered up all the kids and shuffled them back into his house to put together cards for everyone. With him in the middle of the chaos, helping each of the kids figure out how to make what they wanted to make, Eddie could only watch as it all happened around him. There was a softness to him, his cheeks pink as he talked about the process of making a Valentine for someone with El. There were brownies in the oven, judging by the smell in the air, and Steve had a towel tossed casually over his shoulder.
Tucked into a corner, on an overstuffed stool Steve had brought home and been so damn proud of, Eddie stayed quiet. He got to watch Steve be, effectively, a parent and also be happy about how his home was, these days.
His attempts at a card were in front of him, unfinished sketches and half-written lyrics – all scrawled hastily across the pages of his journal. Unlike the kids, he’d started his weeks earlier, trying to figure out how to put everything into words. Ever since Steve had been cool about Eddie coming out, the hopeless crush he’d had on the guy for ages had reared its stupid head and demanded attention again.
Because Steve Harrington was a cool guy.
He wasn’t the asshole he’d been in high school anymore. Wasn’t the nasty bully he’d been with his old friends. Steve was a big brother to a bunch of kids, protective of all of them, and he’d nearly died to save them at one point or another. He wore glasses and took medications to help his migraines because of that. He liked baking and kept trying new recipes and every time he saw Eddie, in between holidays, it seemed like there was something new to taste test for him. Eddie did it without complaint – he wasn’t going to be the one to make Steve unhappy.
In another life, Steve might have turned out to be exactly who his dad had wanted him to be, but this version of Steve was one of the best people Eddie had ever met.
Which was probably why he had, stupidly, managed to fall in love with him.
“Do you know who you’re giving cards to?” a quiet voice piped up from Eddie’s side. When he turned to look, Will was sitting there. He had a sketchbook in hand, his knuckles almost white where he was gripping it. “If you’re giving anyone anything, that is.”
“I have a couple of ideas,” Eddie shrugged. “What’re your thoughts, Baby Byers?”
Will hesitated, looking at the others, then lowered his sketchbook so that Eddie could see the drawing on the page.
It was of Mike, dressed as his character.
Eddie’s heart stopped for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. “Uh,” he coughed a little, nodding. “Yeah, that’s,” he cleared his throat. He’d been pretty sure Will wasn’t into girls, but the confirmation settled things a little more. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Jonathan said you would be cool about it,” Will chewed on his bottom lip. “Are…Was he wrong?”
“No,” Eddie shook his head, hands swiping through the air as he rushed to assure Will. “He wasn’t. I’m, uh,” he shuffled his own drawings around, finding the page he’d drawn Steve on a couple of times. “I do the same thing as you.”
Seeing Will’s bright smile made Eddie smile too. The kid had gone through so much shit to get to where he was, now.
“How long?” Will studied the drawing Eddie had done. “If…If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Middle school,” Eddie sighed. “You?”
“About the same, actually,” Will glanced across the room to where Mike was arguing with Lucas about something, Steve standing in between them with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Dustin kept working on his Valentines, leaning over to show El what he’d done. Max was on El’s other side, leaning into her shoulder. “And…I don’t think it would have ever been anyone else.”
Eddie sighed, softly and trying his best to keep it from being noticed by the others. “Yeah, me neither. It’s like I got the one big crush and it never went away, even when he decided to be a bit of a dick.”
Will snickered, ducking his head as his cheeks turned red. “Is it always like this for us?”
“I don’t know,” Eddie shrugged. “But, if you want my opinion, I don’t think it matters what it’s like for others. This is what we lived through, what we’ve lived with, and what we know. Who we know. A bunch of people who are cool with us and who we are,” he held out a hand, waiting until Will set his on top. Clasping them together, Eddie raised their hands like he was celebrating a victory, shaking them in the air. He’d seen it done on TV before, when athletes and others won. “We fucking made it, kid. No matter what else happens, no matter what anyone else says we should be like, we made it. We’re here.”
There was a pause, then Will’s eyes watered and he shoved his head against Eddie’s shoulder. Crying quietly, Will clung to Eddie’s hand, still raised like they were celebrating. “We did it,” he hissed out.
“Fuck yeah, we did,” Eddie adjusted, turning to hold onto him. “Also, talk to Steve about this. He knows about me. He’s cool with it too.”
Will nodded, took a few minutes to cry on Eddie’s shoulder, then sat up slowly and wiped at his face. “Thanks, Eddie. I know we don’t…Know each other that well. I wasn’t here when you almost died.” He hesitated, then shrugged and started picking at the corner of his sketchbook. “But I’m glad you made it out alive. I’m really glad you’re still here. I’m glad you’re a part of our whole weird family.”
Eddie’s eyes burned. “I’m glad I am too, Baby Byers.”
5
He knew he was in trouble when it came to Steve.
Eddie stared up at the sky above them all, listening to Steve lecturing the kids about putting on sunscreen and drinking water. They’d gathered up their weird family and gone to the beach. Joyce was holding Hopper down with the help of El and rubbing sunscreen into his shoulders, both of them looking so damn small against how tall the man was. It was kind of hilarious to see, honestly.
Dustin had taken to building a sandcastle as big as he could.
Will and Mike were busy throwing each other into the water, staying near the shallow parts – Will still had nightmares, sometimes, and Mike was always so careful around the edges of those. They had slipped away during Steve’s lecture, too excited to run around and be the normal kids they should have been years ago.
Eddie couldn’t blame them.
Max sat on the beach, curled up on a towel with a book, with a broad-brimmed hat on her head and sunglasses perched on her nose. There were scars tracing across her entire body, her legs still in braces and a cane perched nearby in case she needed it, but she had almost fully recovered. She could walk on her own, only needed the cane for when she stumbled now.
Closing his eyes, Eddie took a deep breath. “Okay,” Eddie heard Lucas groan. “But I’m black.”
“Pretty sure you still have skin, put the damn sunscreen on. Erica, you too!”
Cracking his eyes back open, Eddie watched.
The two of them were working with Dustin, staying close in case Max needed them. Their bond had been forged in fire, that night, the night Eddie and Max had almost died. The three of them had been attacked and Erica had been scared, even if she still refused to admit to it.
Steve kept lecturing all of them, probably with his hands on his hips and his eyebrows down. His eyes squinted; his mouth pulled into the annoyed pout that he always got when the kids weren’t listening.
A hand patted against Eddie’s knees. “C’mon, Eddie,” Joyce’s voice was soft and warm. She always reminded him of how his mom had been on her good days. “Sit up, put some sunscreen on, then you can go back to your nap.” She smiled when he fully opened his eyes to look at her, the bottle held out in her other hand. “I’ll even help you get the back of your neck, so it doesn’t get in your hair.”
“Thanks,” Eddie still didn’t know exactly what to call her. It felt weird calling her by her first name but she was also too close to him to just call her by her last name. “Not exactly a nap, but thanks.”
Joyce moved to crouch behind him, helping him gather his hair. “Well, whatever you want to call it, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of Steve’s lectures.” She laughed a little, waiting as he secured his hair into a ponytail. “That boy gets so protective over everyone.”
“Yeah,” Eddie couldn’t help the smile he felt growing. “He’s a great guy.”
“When did you fall in love with him?” Joyce’s voice was quieter than before, pitched only for him to hear.
“…What?”
Despite the warmth in the air, and the early days of summer surrounding them, Eddie suddenly felt cold. This was a different territory. This was an adult he didn’t know; one he wasn’t sure was safe. Joyce was a good person, she’d accepted him and had defended him to Hopper, but he didn’t know if that protective nature and kindness would stay if he was found out to be gay by her.
“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Joyce moved to sit in front of him, her eyes wide. “No, no, I didn’t mean – Look, look at me,” she reached up and cradled Eddie’s face in her hands. “Look at me. I think it’s wonderful,” she smiled.
Eddie stared, his heart racing. “I—” he could barely breathe.
“You were smiling while you listened to him,” Joyce answered a question he couldn’t voice. “And I know that expression. I know that look. Eddie, it’s okay,” she tugged gently, pulling him into a hug. He followed, letting her gather him close like one of her kids. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve never had a problem with it. I don’t always know exactly what to say or do, but it’s not a problem.”
Eddie couldn’t stop himself from crying. Not even a little bit.
The first adult, older than him, that he’d come out to besides his uncle. It always felt risky, even when he put on a brave face about it.
“You’re a part of this family, whether you’re scared to tell us about yourself or not,” Joyce murmured.
She held him until he stopped crying.
Once Eddie had pulled himself back together, Joyce finished helping him get sunscreen on. She stayed close until Wayne arrived, one hand on his back to rub soothingly at his spine.
+1
“How the hell did you figure out you were into girls?”
Robin looked at him, an eyebrow raised as she sorted through her socks. Her parents were out of the house, she had clean laundry to deal with, and her door was open because he’d gotten there to hang out before her parents had gone away. They’d told her she needed to finish her chores before she could leave the house. “Uh, you kind of know that story already, dingus.”
“No, I mean,” Steve groaned, gesturing with jerky motions in the air. “Like…”
“Is this about Eddie?”
He sat up, leaning on his elbows where he was lying on the floor. “…What?”
“If it’s not about the kids, it’s about Eddie, these days,” Robin leaned on the edge of her laundry basket, her arms folded. “And the fact that he made it out of the Upside Down alive. Or that he came out to you during Thanksgiving.” She shrugged. “So which is it this time?”
“…The second one,” Steve muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, and tucking his chin down. “I just…I don’t…There’s something about it and I don’t want to be gross – am I a homophobe? Am I homophobic?” He looked at her, frowning. “I don’t want to be!”
“Tell me more about what’s going on,” Robin abandoned her laundry, moving around her bed to sit on the floor next to him. “Why would you be a homophobe, dingus?”
“Because ever since Eddie came out, I’ve just got this weird feeling in my chest, and I don’t know what to do about it!”
Silence followed his words.
Steve turned his head to stare up at Robin, whose face had frozen in an expression he didn’t understand. “Steve,” Robin’s voice cracked and squeaked, her cheeks coloring as she tried to speak. “Steve.” She took a deep breath, covered her face with both of her hands, then dropped them and shoved at his shoulder. “Oh my god, Steve!”
“Hey!” Steve fended off her attack, curling into a ball to escape. “Stop with the hitting!”
“Okay, so, there’s a thing we need to talk about,” Robin gestured wildly for a second, both hands slicing through the air to cut him off completely. “There’s me. Lesbian. I like girls.”
“Boobies,” Steve nodded.
Robin’s cheeks burned. “Yeah. Boobies. There’s Eddie. Gay.”
“No boobies!” Steve grinned as Robin turned redder and redder. “Okay.”
“Exactly,” Robin swallowed, pursing her lips. “You know there’s more than that, right? Like…You can both like boobies and no boobies.” She shrugged when Steve froze, staring at her. “Steve, it’s called bisexuality. Dudes and chicks, boobies and no boobies, however you want to say it.”
Blinking a couple of times, Steve leaned against Robin’s dresser.
He stared at her bedspread, his hands clenching in the knees of his jeans. “Oh,” Steve choked out the sound.
Tommy’s crinkly smile when they were younger. Nancy’s nose wrinkles and the way her eyes lit up, especially when she was studying something she wanted to know everything about. The slimy sort of attractive that Billy had been.
Oh.
Steve blinked a couple more times, then looked at Robin, who nodded. “I…I think I’m bisexual?” he whispered.
“And you clearly have sort of a type,” Robin shrugged. “We can get more into the nuances of it later. I have laundry to fold and then we have gremlins to pick up.” She leaned over, patting his shoulder. “If we aren’t there soon, you know they’re all going to start complaining at us.”
“Wait, what do you mean I ‘clearly have a type’?”
“Well,” Robin finished putting her socks away, shutting the drawer with a sigh. “Nancy. Brown hair, curls, big eyes. Eddie. Brown hair, curls, big eyes. I think you have a type and a favorite sort of personality – nerd, uncompromising about caring when it comes to what they care about, dedicated to their interests in a way that runs so deep it’s a huge part of who they are. Nancy and journalism, telling the truth about what happens. Fighting to protect everyone she cares about, everyone she loves. Eddie spends so many hours writing out the stories he’s telling in his games. Plus, he and Nancy have the protection thing in common –”
“Don’t,” Steve swallowed around his suddenly dry throat. “I know, he nearly…”
“But that’s my point. You like people who are certain about who they are,” Robin shrugged again. “And Eddie protected your little gremlins without a second thought. He made it through.”
Steve turned a shade of red and Robin laughed.
Christmas had been amazing.
With the entirety of the party in his house, Steve had never actually felt happier during the holidays. Thanksgiving had been good too, actually. All of them there, happy and laughing and so alive. And Eddie…
Well, Eddie had been alive and smiling. He’d laughed and told stories, just like he always did – Steve knew that’s what the game was about, now.
And Eddie was so good at it.
His hands gestured when he spoke and, really, that had to have been a part of how Steve had fallen for him. He was pretty, he knew what he was doing, and the kids loved him. Robin was right, he had a type. Even Will was comfortable with Eddie, now, despite how little they’d interacted with each other before. Joyce had fought with Hopper to protect Eddie, to keep him out of any trouble he might have gotten in. Everyone in Steve’s life had been ready and willing to keep Eddie around at any cost.
There had been a little bit of jealousy when Nancy and Eddie had been cuddled up at New Year's Eve, but Steve had walked over to them, and Eddie’s eyes had snapped to him. His attention had shifted immediately.
His jealousy had died a quick death.
So now he just needed to figure out how to tell him. Even if nothing came of it other than the guy knowing more about him.
All of them had made plans to gather for the Fourth of July. Steve drove some of the kids to the picnic location they’d planned on, watching in his mirror as Erica and Lucas fought in the backseat. “Hey!” he called, not turning around. Dustin reached back and added his hands to the fray, laughing when Max cackled but did nothing. “Trying to drive, here.”
“I’ll do it if you can’t!” Max called back.
“Absolutely not,” Steve answered. “Never again, Mayfield. Cold day in hell.”
“I’ve been there and it was!”
Steve groaned. “What have we said about using trauma as a joke?”
All he got in return, when he looked in the mirror, was a glare and her tongue sticking out. Their therapists, paid for by the government, had been urging them all to try and regain normality. That meant celebrating holidays and making food and keeping themselves alive. It also meant trying not to keep themselves trapped in the memories of the worst times of their lives.
When he finally parked, letting the little hellions he’d transported out of his car, Steve spotted the rest of the party.
Hopper had grabbed a spot by one of the grills, smoke already billowing out of it. El was hovering around his elbows, watching as he worked. Not too far away was Will, sitting with his knee pressed against Mike’s. Jonathan was sitting at one of the two tables, his eyes pinned to his little brother.
Steve smiled as he hefted the cooler of drinks he’d brought out of his trunk. Even after all this time, Jonathan refused to stop watching over his brother.
“Steve, I can help you with that,” Joyce was at his side, already reaching into the trunk to grab more of the drinks, the rest he hadn’t been able to put into the cooler. She patted his shoulder and Steve felt himself relax. She paused, looking up at him with a smile of her own. “Eddie and Wayne are a little late, today, but they’ll be here in a bit.”
There was something about that, about the way she said it—
“Am I that obvious?” Steve asked.
“Hm?”
“About Eddie,” Steve glanced around. “Robin says I am, but she’s the only one who has said anything.”
Joyce reached up and patted his cheek. “Oh, honey,” she chuckled. “I don’t know if everyone can tell, but I can. It’s the way you were looking for him. You were counting – the right number of kids here, most of the adults, Nancy and Robin are at the bathrooms, but you were looking around and frowned when there were two missing.” She hefted a box into her arms. “It’s how I look for Hopper in a crowded room. I know how it feels.”
Steve followed her, setting down the cooler where she told him to.
They made a second trip back to his car for the rest and Joyce continued. “Just tell him, Steve. It’s not going to be a problem.”
“How do you know?”
“Steve,” Joyce paused, sitting on the bumper of his car. “I need you to know something. When Will went missing, that first time, I mentioned that he had been called…Certain names. Certain things. Hopper needed to know. I couldn’t outright say it, I didn’t know if he’d be a good man at the time, but I needed him to understand that my little boy might have been killed for what people perceived him to be.” She looked up, meeting his eyes. “And so I want you to trust me about this. I’ve watched the way you look at him when he isn’t looking.”
Joyce reached up again, her hands finding his cheeks and holding him still. “Tell him, Steve. Life is short and we already almost lost him once. He’s here, now, and I don’t think he’s going to run away from you.”
With another smile, she stood back up, grabbed two more boxes of drinks, and headed back towards the picnic tables.
Steve closed the trunk.
Before he could follow her, a familiar car pulled up. Eddie clambered out of it, his hair pulled back into a ponytail to keep it off the back of his neck. He stopped when he saw Steve, his cheeks flushing a little, and Steve felt his heart stop for a moment before it beat harder in his chest.
Oh.
Okay.
That made it…Easier.
“Hey Stevie,” Eddie grinned. Wayne climbed out of the car, grabbing some stuff from the backseat.
“Hey, Eddie,” Steve reached out and grabbed his hand, tangling their fingers together. “I need to talk to you about something.” He watched the way Eddie’s eyes drifted down to their hands, his cheeks going redder, and he knew it would be okay. Everything was going to be okay.
With a gentle tug, Eddie followed him.