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When Kiyan walks out of Stygga for his first year on the Path, he only has thirteen knives. Two daggers on his belt and four strapped to his shins and thighs, half a dozen throwing knives, and his lucky knife that he took off of Brehen when the crazy Cat tried to stab him. Well, technically he succeeded in stabbing Kiyan, but Kiyan stabbed him back more so it doesn’t count. It is with great disappointment that he discovers the instructors were right and most monsters are easier to kill with swords, because he much prefers knives, but a Witcher's life is rarely fair.
He almost decides that he doesn’t need thirteen knives, and that he should maybe get rid of one or two, when he returns bruised and beaten from a bullvore hunt and gets stabbed in the back in lieu of pay. The next hour or so is a blur. Eventually, the Cat Madness fades and he comes to in the alderman’s blood-soaked home. His swords are missing, and a quick check finds that he’s used every knife he had on him. Not counting the blade still buried in his back, of course, which luckily didn’t hit anything too vital.
When he leaves that horrid Ebbing town, he has fourteen knives. He rigs a sheath for his newest lucky knife so that it hangs over the scar it caused.
***
There’s nothing special about his next four knives. Running out of weapons mid-battle worried Kiyan, and as he flees the province to avoid the guards hunting him he buys the first knives he finds that are balanced for throwing, and gets a bandolier to wear them across his chest. For some reason, he finds that those few extra knives are enough to make people just a bit more scared, which usually, but not always, makes them more polite and better paying.
Metinna is a monster-infested hellhole; not many relicts or necrophages about, but there are ghosts everywhere. It’s like the place is ruled by idiots who don’t care how many people die in misery with unfinished business. Well, their unfinished business is a Witcher’s business, and Kiyan goes on a gleeful remurdering spree across the province. It’s a real pain killing one ghost when his silver sword breaks and he suddenly realizes that it’s his only silver weapon. It turns out that it is possible to punch a ghost to death with a sack of silver coins in one hand and excessive use of yrden from the other, but he still buys two silver daggers to prevent a repeat of the same situation.
***
Twenty or so daggers is a comfortable number, even for a Cat. He’s not a Viper; Kiyan bumps into them every now and then in Nilfgaard, and some of them are just covered with blades. How many hands do they think they have?
Still, his collection grows a little over the next decade. While killing some griffins, he accidentally saves a merchant who has a pair of very nice daggers from Zerrikania that Kiyan can’t just not take. He also throws all of his throwing knives at one of the griffins only to have it chicken out of the fight. He has to buy a completely new set, although he rounds up from ten to an even dozen to make sure he has enough to finish off the next griffin. Then there’s the scruffy robbers who ambush him up near Mag Turga, carrying exactly one dagger in good condition amongst the whole band of them, and Kiyan recognizes that as a sign that he has to keep it. And another alderman has him stabbed and so Kiyan makes a note to avoid Ymlac for a while (seriously, they’re stabbing him first, is he not supposed to kill them?) At least he got a very nice lucky knife out of that mess, he barely felt it go into his thigh.
Twenty-six knives isn’t that many more than twenty. It’s not like he has thirty knives, that would be excessive. A couple of clever sheaths on his forearms and a few more loops on his belt are all he needs and the extras are barely noticeable. After ten years, Kiyan figures the hunt for him must have died down in Ebbing and he finally returns to Stygga to see who’s survived. He’s bumped into Cats on the Path, of course, but he’s been roaming the northern half of Nilfgaard and some of his brothers went south instead. Gaetan and Drun, his only yearmates who survived the Grasses, were among their number.
Half of Witchers die in the first year on the Path. Kiyan is deliberately not expecting either of them to be alive, and so it comes as a real shock when someone even shorter than him tackles him the moment he enters Stygga’s great hall. Kiyan stabs the person by reflex, and is immediately stabbed in return, and they fall into a knifey wrestling match until an exasperated Treyse kicks them apart.
“Sun spare me your antics, the new trainees are here. Quit scaring them in their first week.”
Oh. Kiyan didn’t have time to look before some mad Cat attacked him, but it seems that the great hall is full of boys too young for Grasses, young enough that they might be the newest trainees, in their first year at the castle. They seem evenly split between horrified at the violence and interested in it, though, so Kiyan decides Treyse is just being too serious like always. How he didn’t end up a Wolf Kiyan will never know.
“Eh, they look fine with it.”
“Yeah, Treyse,” Gaetan says. “They’re-”
Kiyan blinks. That’s Gaetan. Gaetan’s alive!
“You’re alive!” Kiyan shouts, and tackles him without the knives this time.
Drun didn’t make it, but having even one of his yearmates left is more than Kiyan expected. That it means there’s still one Cat who’s shorter than him is just a nice bonus. For two months, Kiyan stays at Stygga and chats with whatever Cats he knows and helps with the training until every senior Cat decides he is forever banned from teaching anyone anything, and it’s pretty nice for a time.
But Stygga is full of stab-happy Cats, of whom Kiyan is starting to think he may be one, and eventually he grows tired of the castle. Buoyed by the knowledge that Gaetan is alive , he sets back out on the Path with a spring in his step and the knife he stole off of Gaetan last night in a pocket. Gaetan stabbed him with it, so it was rightfully his after all, even if he waited a couple months to claim it (until he was going to be out of range for revenge). At his camp that night, Kiyan is trying to decide where to keep his newest lucky knife when his fingers trail across an empty sheath on his belt. The one that used to hold the knife he stabbed Gaetan with.
“That fucking knife-thief.”
It was a little disappointing to leave Stygga with just as many knives as he came with, but such was the hard lot of a Witcher. And at least Gaetan is still alive so Kiyan can have his revenge the next time they meet.
***
The nekker population in Etolia bears the brunt of Kiyan’s annoyance at his loss. After falling into a nekker warren and only having two silver knives to fight his way back out, Kiyan buys four more in case the same situation happens again. Or, say, in case some knife-thief steals one, which would leave him with only one if he didn’t have back ups.
But that puts Kiyan up to thirty knives, and in a dark and dingy tavern in Eiddon, over several mugs of surprisingly good ale, he’s forced to accept the fact that he, perhaps, has too many knives. In the room that night, he lays them all out. Four lucky knives that stabbed him but didn’t kill him. A dozen throwing knives. Six silver knives for monsters. And eight other knives, including two very nice Zerrikanian blades. But thirty is too many, and he needs to get rid of some.
The lucky knives are staying, obviously. And he’s already had proof that ten throwing knives aren’t enough to deal with a griffin, and since a Witcher could face a griffin at any time, he needs all twelve. He just got more silver knives, and it seems silly for a Witcher to ever get rid of weapons specifically made for hunting monsters. That only leaves the eight normal knives, six if he doesn’t count the Zerrikanian ones, which he doesn’t, of course. But surely six knives don’t make that much of a difference either way? He doesn’t need to get rid of any.
“No, bad Kiyan,” he whispers to himself. “You’re not a Viper, and you need less than thirty knives.”
But looking at the table, he can’t help but notice that, sorted out like this, there’s less than thirty of each type of knife. And if he looks at it that way…
“Fuck, I need more knives.”
***
Kiyan leaves that town with thirty knives still, not that he thinks of it that way now that he’s seen the light. He only has eight regular knives, which is far, far less than thirty, although it’s not as urgent a situation as his lack of silver daggers where he only has six. At least the throwing knife situation is fine, for the moment. But there’s a more pressing problem.
Where is he supposed to put more knives?
He needs to find a Viper.
***
He needs to find a slightly less stabby Viper. At least he got two more lucky knives.
***
In the port of Baccalà, some noble families (or possibly several branches of one family, it’s not entirely clear) collectively decide that it’s a good year for some personal advancement and start assassinating each other. Then someone hires a passing Viper and things really escalate. By the time Kiyan reaches the city, he barely reaches an inn before he receives a very generous offer to join in.
Kiyan finally runs across the Viper as they’re sneaking into a castle, both happening to slip in through the cellars at the same time, and he’s perfect. Knives everywhere.
Cats are sneakier than Vipers, of course, so Kiyan makes sure to surprise him to rub that fact in.
“Hey, snakey.”
He ducks out of the way of a thrown dagger, rather impressed at the speed and aim. “Here for an assassination too?”
The Viper draws two more daggers but hesitates. “You’re not defending the castle?”
“Course not!” Kiyan isn’t entirely sure why that offends him, but it does. “I’m here for the Baron.”
“So am I, so you can piss right off.” Another dagger aimed straight at his head, and Kiyan almost retaliates out of habit, but stops himself. He’s got a more important goal to focus on.
“Who hired you?”
“Fuck off.” Another dagger, but only one. At least this Viper isn’t as violent as the last one he tried to talk to.
“My employer is an heiress, wants the baron’s signet ring to fake some documents.”
That earns him a pause. “Mine wants his head.”
Kiyan grins. “What do you say we both get paid?”
***
Several hours later, Kiyan is patching up the still-nameless and still-suspicious Viper in a cave in the forest. It was a good first assassination, but the Viper didn’t mention that he had several other targets. One was more alert and raised the alarm, and the castle’s guards were surprisingly skilled when they weren’t all sleeping. And they had bombs, because why wouldn’t they? Damned hard to dodge, bombs.
“Why?” The Viper asks at last, the first word he’s spoken that wasn’t strictly necessary.
Kiyan eyes him for a moment and decides it’s time. They’ve fought off half a castle together, Kiyan definitely saved his life at least once, and he’s not healed enough to actually make a credible effort at killing Kiyan. “I needed a favor from a Viper.”
He grows still, and even under a Witcher’s trained calm and fearlessness, Kiyan can smell his nerves. “What favor?”
Kiyan licks his lips. The moment of truth. “I need your school’s secret.”
The Viper snarls. “I’ll never tell you about the Wild Hunt!”
Kiyan blinks. “That’s real? Actually, who cares? No, I want your school’s real secret.” Kiyan leans forward, and he knows his grin is on the wrong side of feral but can’t manage to stop it. “How do you carry so many knives?”
***
It turns out the Vipers know leatherworkers and tailors who have been making them knife-carrying equipment for generations. Unfortunately, those craftsmen are on the other end of the empire, closer to the Viper castle, and the still-nameless Viper won’t just give Kiyan their names or towns.
It’s mostly not a kidnapping as Kiyan therefore decides to bring the Viper with him. Or at the very least, by the time he’s healed enough to leave, the Viper stays. Kiyan and Snakey take a circuitous route towards the Tir Tochair Mountains, and it’s so much easier killing monsters with another Witcher that they barely lose any time. There’s a mining town that dabbles in smithing where they take knives instead of payment, and Kiyan rigs another bandolier for now. He also rescues a man who offers him the Law of Surprise, and the kid who met them at the door was carrying a very nice new dirk. Kiyan still isn’t sure why they started crying less after he took it, but humans were weird like that.
It’s so convenient traveling with another Witcher. Neither of them gets seriously hurt in twenty normal hunts, and people seem far less inclined to short two Witchers at the same time. And they can take on anything. Snakey says they’re only a couple days from the leather worker when they come to a desperate town with far too many contracts. Alps, bruxas, fleders—it takes two weeks and they’ve fought just about every type of vampire before they clear out the town. A higher vampire shows up at the end to laugh at them, saying they were entertaining.
He disappears before Kiyan or Snakey can throw a knife at him. Bastard.
They limp to the mayor of the now mostly razed town for their pay, and despite the damage he’s surprisingly grateful. At the next town they’re met with a volley of arrows. Kiyan dodges, but Snakey’s leg still isn’t fully recovered and one catches him in the gut. Kiyan’s only half way to the bowmen on the wall when they fire again.
Snakey can’t dodge at all this time.
When Kiyan comes out of the Cat Madness, he’s been shot half a dozen times and the bowman and Snakey are dead.
He carries Snakey outside of town and buries him in a forest, well away from the roads where anyone might find him. Kiyan buries him with his knives, taking just one that he stuffs in the bottom of his pack, since it obviously isn’t meant to be used. He’s not sure who he expects to read the message, but it feels wrong to write nothing. At last, he scratches the words into a nearby boulder.
Snakey Witcher of the Viper School - Skilled knife fighter and friend
***
Kiyan turns back to the western provinces of Nilfgaard. His guide is dead, so there isn’t much reason sticking around the Viper’s territory. He probably used up all his luck finding one non-stabby Viper anyways. He’s certainly not going to find another one like Snakey. Since his Viper is gone, Kiyan should be figuring out his own system for carrying a lot of knives, but he finds that he’s… satisfied? Content? No, indifferent to getting more. Snakey was supposed to help him, Kiyan wasn’t supposed to need to figure it out for himself. Barring any lucky knives he finds, and the joy in expanding his collection just isn’t there any more.
The next knight to try shorting him on his pay doesn’t entirely deserve a knife through his hand, but it also gets Kiyan his money so he doesn’t worry about it too much. Besides, the assassin the knight sends in revenge has a pair of very nice curved daggers, so nice that Kiyan can’t even work up enough anger to go assassinate the knight back. A few years later, he finds a human who died fighting a kikimore warrior but somehow managed to take the monster with him using nothing but a steel dagger, which Kiyan promptly appropriates since it’s obviously magical, even if his medallion doesn’t agree. And most importantly, one winter back in Stygga, he ambushes Gaetan and reclaims his knife while acquiring only moderately severe stab wounds in return. But nearly a decade goes by with very few blade acquisitions, and Kiyan never runs out. He’s… content, more or less. He's pretty sure this is as good as a Witcher's life ever gets.
Then the fucking mage happens.
***
Kiyan wakes with a pounding headache, and cracking an eye open shows he’s on the floor of a cell, with only a tiny window in the door to let in torchlight. From the smell, he’s underground. Clearly using some kind of magic, the mage had managed to remove every single knife from him, and his lockpicks are missing too. So he can’t escape before the fucking mage comes.
Kiyan always assumed that the Trial of the Grasses was the worst thing that a man or Witcher could go through. He also assumed that the mages at Witcher schools were the worst of their breed. The mage who captured him proves him wrong on both counts.
It’s midway through the fourth day, when the mage is interrogating him about the contents of his pack, that he finally has a stroke of luck. The mage locked him in the cell with his pack, and is shouting through the grate. After nearly an hour of answering questions about his potions and being hit with torture spells, Kiyan finally reaches the bottom of his pack.
Snakey’s knife is still there.
He doesn’t hesitate. His hands are shaking, he knows his odds are terrible, but he’s not getting another chance. In a throw he doesn’t truly expect to make, Snakey’s knife scrapes between the bars of the door’s window and catches the mage right in the eye. Too tired, too hungry, and in too much pain to celebrate, Kiyan collapses on the cell floor.
Fuck, he wishes he had lockpicks.
It takes him several hours to bash the door off its hinges once he’s somewhat recovered, and after collecting his gear (there are no new uncursed knives to acquire in the entire cave, sadly) he burns everything with excessive and cathartic use of igni then collapses as many chambers of the mage’s underground laboratory as he can with aard. On the largest stone outside the entrance, he scrawls Snakey’s last kill.
***
The episode with the mage convinces Kiyan that more knives are needed, especially hidden knives, just in case of rogue mages, court mages, research mages, witcher mages, or even, possibly, non-mage threats. The problem is where to hide them. He manages to disguise a couple of short blades under the hardened leather of his breastplate, and lockpicks can fit in most hems with a bit of sewing and a lot of swearing, but beyond that he’s out of ideas.
A particularly brilliant (and slightly mad, but a Cat’s hardly going to hold that against him) journeyman tanner in Cintra has the answer. The system of belts, holsters, and strategic slits the man rigs together keeps all of Kiyan’s original knives in the same places, while also letting him stash a dozen more in hidden places and a score more for show. Kiyan was planning on kidnapping the man and bringing him back to Stygga (Axel would never stop pestering him if he didn’t). But just before he can enact the plan, the tanner says he has one more idea for where to hide a knife, but he’ll only tell Kiyan if he’s allowed to go to Stygga.
The blackmailing fucker.
***
When they reach the castle, Kiyan’s decided he’s still going to tell any Cats that ask that he kidnapped the man. That’s a proper Cat-like crime, unlike blackmail. There’s hardly a Cat that makes it past their second decade on the Path before dragging someone home without technically asking their permission first. If acquiring knives counts, most don’t make it past the first year. And of course, no one’s ever going to beat Aiden, who somehow acquired a whole Wolf Witcher one winter and showed him around the keep. So no Cats will ask questions about a mere tanner, if Kiyan’s lucky.
All his preparations turn out to be unnecessary. On the bright side, no one asks him why he brought a craftsman. The downside is that the reason that no one asks questions is the entire keep is in utter chaos.
The tanner’s introduction to other Cats is Brehen jumping Kiyan the moment he walks through the gate into the courtyard, screaming, “Wolf-loving bastard!” They both acquire a couple more lucky knives before Brehen realizes he’s gotten the wrong target and runs back into the keep.
“Is this… normal?” The tanner asks, smelling slightly worried but also rather interested.
“No,” Kiyan says, then hesitates. “Well, at least it’s not this bad until the second month of winter. Stay here. Try not to look… stabbable.”
The tanner might shout something, but Kiyan’s most of the way into the keep by then and it’s probably not important. Most of the arguing sounds like it’s coming from the great hall, so Kiyan doesn’t go there and get pulled into conversations. Instead, he roams the corridors until he finds Dragonfly, who’s usually at least twice as sensible as the average Cat, and drags the whole story out of her, and it’s too crazy not to be true.
Aiden’s Wolf came back to Stygga, even though he’d seen its insanity once, and he brought a message.
The White Wolf, who’s apparently been Grassed twice (fucking mages), is planning on besieging a city and killing a king.
The king really, truly deserves it, even by the incredibly low standards of kings.
It’s not just the Cats, every Witcher school has been invited to Kaer Morhen to participate in this crazy plan.
“And the fighting is about whether we go or not,” Dragonfly concludes. “But the side that wants to join is winning.”
Kiyan blinks, trying to absorb all that information. At last, he says, “We’re all going to need more knives. I found a tanner called, uh, Tanner, probably, who made me this.” He gestures to the many, many visible knife hilts covering him. When he sees Dragonfly’s interest, he adds, “I left him in the courtyard.”
She vanishes down the corridor in an instant, but Kiyan just stands still for a moment, imagining what Northern knives might be like.
***
Serviceable. Northern knives are very serviceable. Kiyan raids Kaer Morhen’s armory, of course, only to find the knives are just serviceable, which is such a fucking disappointment as he’s never had in his long life. It’s not until they take Ard Carraigh that he really comes out of his funk. One of the dukes (or maybe barons, Kiyan wasn’t paying that much attention) who they execute has a very nice dagger from Ofir, at least once Kiyan scrapes the gold and gems off. It’s no wonder they beheaded him, it’s a crime to do that to such a fine blade.
Every single Witcher, of every single school, is living in Kaer Morhen, so Kiyan expects he’s going to need every knife he can get. He doesn’t, it turns out. The White Wolf trounces anyone who tries to get into too much trouble, which only includes Kiyan four times. Once he’s made even the most stubborn of Witchers at least listen, he starts making reforms. There’s changes to laws and governments, or so Kiyan hears, but the only important bit is that he makes Witchers hunt monsters in groups.
Kiyan bounces between groups for a couple years until he settles in with Letho, Varick and Kendon. Letho’s an excellent leader, and between his height, width, weight and general demeanor, humans tend to listen to him when he needs to give them instructions. Kiyan’s not sure why the Bear is pretending to be a Viper when he can’t be fooling anyone, but he’ll wait for Letho to come clean in his own time. Kendon uses a crossbow like any other Crane, but his pride and joy are the bombs he collects the way Kiyan uses knives, and he’s just as up for chaos as Kiyan is all the time. It’s a good thing they have Varick, or Kiyan has to admit he and Kendon would have driven Letho mad. Varick keeps his hair in a close-shaved, piratical style for some unknown reason, but he’s the most Griffin-ish Griffin in Kaer Morhen.
Not having to deal with humans is wonderful, though it’s a little annoying to see them scramble to obey Letho without a fraction of the weaponry Kiyan needed to get the same respect. Having someone else to cast the axiis is also nice, and explosive crossbow bolts might be the best way to hunt wyverns, possibly even better than knives, though Kiyan isn’t going to tell Kendon that. But the strangest part is getting used to killing humans who deserve it and not being run out of town afterwards. In one town, after Kiyan slits the mayor’s throat at Letho’s command, they even throw a party.
Humans are weird, he concludes. At least they let him raid the mayor’s house, where he claims the first interesting pair of northern knives he’s seen.
The wars are barely worth mentioning. After decades on the Path, Kiyan is used to thinking of large armed mobs as potentially dangerous. But it turns out, once there are more than a hundred Witchers fighting together, there’s not much any number of humans, armed or otherwise, can do. Once the sorceresses show up, it becomes even more one-sided.
Servants arrive at the keep, and stop being afraid of Witchers surprisingly quickly. Hells, most of them aren’t afraid of Kiyan after the first year. Although Kiyan isn’t sure whether he should be offended or flattered that when the Vipers are ordered to start sheathing all their hidden knives to protect the laundresses, he’s the only Cat who also gets the message.
With easy access to an armory full of good enough knives and a room he comes back to more than once every few years, Kiyan hangs his lucky knives on the walls. The knife he took off Snakey, the one he killed that fucking mage with, gets pride of place above the headboard of his bed. Sure, the knives are lucky, but they’re also his only dear possessions, and when traveling with three other Witchers, he hardly needs luck.
Life is good, and Kiyan can’t imagine it getting any better.
***
Kiyan vaguely remembers the bard showing up, mostly because it was the first time in a long time he’d smelt human terror in Kaer Morhen. But he only really notices him once he starts singing, which is a nice addition to the entertainment at Kaer Morhen. But Kiyan is not expecting the bard to hunt him down with a rondel dagger and offer it in exchange for stories he can turn into more songs.
Kiyan retreats to his room that night and wracks his brain for properly heroic stories, and comes up short. The bard probably doesn’t want to hear about the times he went Cat Mad, or about normal hunts with monsters. Kiyan supposes his defense of that town from a higher vampire’s horde was heroic, but for some reason it’s so much easier to remember what Snakey did than what Kiyan was doing at the same time.
So the next morning, Kiyan skips practice and finds the bard, and tells him, “Let me tell you about a Viper I traveled with, and how we saved a town.”
Apparently the bard does some proper research for the song, because when it debuts, Jaskier declares that it’s about Kiyan of the Cats and Rudwer of the Vipers. Which does lead to some pointed questions from the rest of the Vipers, and Kiyan has to explain a dozen times that he never told any of them how Rudwer died because this is the first time he heard Snakey’s name.
***
The bard isn’t an exception. In the whole mess of the husband-hunters failing hilariously to court the White Wolf, one noblewoman, Marta or Milena or something, decides to fall in love with Aiden’s Wolf. She could have picked a Cat, Kiyan supposes, if she wanted to be completely ridiculous, but picking the one Wolf who has a Cat isn’t much better.
Then she’s kidnapped and stabs that bitch Agata who tried to kill their bard, and the Wolf’s love makes perfect sense. Aiden confirms that she’s actually been practicing with daggers for a few months now. Until then, Kiyan didn’t know that noblewomen could hold daggers, but now that he does, he kind of wants one. It’s just a pity that they’re never going to have one crazy enough to join the Cats.
***
Dragonfly obtains a noblewoman, Melitele only knows how. Unfortunately, she doesn’t want to learn to fight, and remains nervous around Kiyan, which is fair enough, albeit disappointing.
***
Aiden acquires a nobleman through a not-quite-kidnapping, like a proper Cat. He also doesn’t want to learn to fight, and Kiyan didn’t know that was allowed. Don’t all noblemen have to fight? But now there seems to be a trend, and if Kiyan just bides his time, the perfect noblewoman is going to come along.
***
Treyse has a great-great-great grandniece, and said grandniece is a noblewoman. Kiyan calls Treyse “my lord” for the next month, until he gets his ass handed to him in training one time too many.
Mouse, though, is excited to learn to use a dagger. And how to hide a dagger, and judge different types of daggers, and she even expresses an interest in learning how to frighten people with daggers, and Kiyan is an avid teacher for all of those skills. Unlike most noblewomen, or nobles in general, or humans at large, she isn’t even a little bit scared of him, and gladly accepts his irregular presence and help. It’s bizarre. It’s also kind of nice.
And when Spymistress Mouse (and unlike Treyse, she’s delighted when Kiyan calls her by her proper title) needs some spies executed, Kiyan is glad to help. They often have very nice hidden knives on them, after all, and Kiyan gets to keep them.
Life is perfect, and Kiyan can’t imagine it getting any better.