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Mikey has been in a mood and he has made it everybody’s problem.
It’s been more than three weeks since anyone has last seen Takemichi.
Ever since Kisaki was recruited into Toman and Takemichi wasn’t and felt so betrayed that she was moved to tears, there hasn’t been a single spotting of the girl in any of Toman’s territory, grounds, or trees.
While a few of their captains attend the same school as her, they’re in different years, and it’s hard to find an underclassman when she’s actively trying to avoid them. Hakkai’s class being in the same hallway doesn’t help at all when he would rather lock himself inside a burning closet than attempt to find her and make amends on behalf of Toman.
And though Takashi knows her address, he feels unsure of where they stand in their relationship for him to make a habit of popping up unannounced. He would hate to make her feel like her own home is unsafe. Especially with the last time they saw each other - Takemichi thinking that Takashi would rather have Kisaki of all people join the gang over her.
Their days have gone right back to what they were prior to Takemichi’s existence.
Peaceful, quiet (for their standards).
It’s uncanny, it’s weird. It feels like something is missing, except they all know exactly what that something is.
Takemichi would come whenever she felt like it with no regards to how many times she’s physically thrown out from Toman grounds. She would always show right back up the next day in her terrible Toman cosplay, standing at attention next to a murderous Sanzu.
Yet weeks drag by and there’s still no sign of her terribly dyed head anywhere.
It’s gotten to the point where it’s an unspoken agreement to keep an eye out for yellow hair and shining blue eyes that are never up to something good. Mikey has been more tense than usual and his snarky remarks are a little meaner. Not even Draken can keep his temper from lashing out.
It’s not just the two people who were admittedly closer to her than the rest of them. It seems that all of Toman’s captains and vices have been on edge since that meeting, eyes roaming more diligently on the streets.
But it’s hard to keep an eye out for a friend when all they can see is their enemy since half of Moebius fucked off and created a new gang; Valhalla, the Headless Angels.
“Such a lame ass name,” Kazutora shakes his head, clicking his tongue and thinking about how corny having a tagline for a gang is.
“The lamest,” Chifuyu agrees as if he wasn’t just thinking about how clever their name was. He mentally scratches out proposing the idea of Toman having their own tagline.
Mikey stabs at his bowl of rice, a vein popping at his forehead because he can’t even enjoy a simple bowl these days, “They’re such a pain in my ass.”
Baji sneers, baring his sharp canines, “We should infiltrate their ass.”
Nahoya throws a chip at his face, “Don’t say it like that.”
The gang hasn’t made any big moves against Toman, but word on the street is that they’re absorbing smaller nearby gangs to increase the power in their ranks. They’re also saying that the acting commander is the tall asshole that blocked Mikey’s kick back on the night Draken almost croaked, Hanma Shuji.
From the recounts of the Moebius members that joined Toman, Hanma is a cruel asshole in itself - only looking out for his own self interests and entertaining himself above all. He doesn’t hold anything dear, doesn’t seem to have any motives beyond screwing with everyone else simply because it’s amusing.
“I wanna fight ‘em,” Pah-chin growls with his mouth full.
Draken rolls his eyes - throwing a napkin at the guy to remind him to have some decorum, “You want to fight everybody.”
“Cause I’m so damn good at it!”
“We’re strong as hell! Why don’t we bring the fight to them and beat their ass?!” Souya pounds a fist into his palm, eyes glinting at the prospect of a fight.
“They have double our numbers.”
“Like that matters,” Chifuyu scoffs. “Everyone in this room is worth thirty of those lameass try-hards!”
Kazutora keeps his voice casual when he says, “This would be easier if we had Takemitchy.”
“...”
“...”
“Man, seriously, where the hell did she go?” Pah-chin asks, slumping into thought. His chewing gets a whole lot more depressing. His debt towards the girl still hasn’t been paid, but more than that, dammit - he misses her bothering all of them all the damn time.
“She’s probably with her new gang right now.” Hakkai comments absentmindedly, leaning over to steal Chifuyu’s last crab rangoon.
In the weeks that Takemichi has disappeared, he can finally relax - feeling safe in the fact that she’s not going to appear behind him and choke him to death. Takemichi has never once alluded to killing him, but he isn’t going to put it past her. All he has to do is catch her on one bad day and it’s the end for him.
Though, he won’t lie and say that he doesn’t miss the fear running up and down his spine whenever he hears her voice. The terror she fills him with gives him energy.
‘Not gonna unpack all that,’ he decides. Hakkai will face what all that means on another day.
Meanwhile, Takashi chokes on a rice ball.
‘Shit! I knew I forgot to tell them something!’ He sweats.
After he and Hakkai left Takemichi’s place that day, he made the other boy swear he wouldn’t tell anyone else about Takemichi’s intentions of joining another gang while he worked on trying to convince her to not even bother looking - knowing it would make his commanders antsy and even more intolerable.
Takashi knew he had to tell Mikey and Draken eventually, but it might have slipped his mind.
‘Might have’, Takashi internally scoffs. He was purposely forcing himself to forget - calling it ‘future Takashi’s problem’.
“Excuse me?” Mikey smiles and the force of it shuts his eyes. “That’s weird, Hakkai, I thought you said Takemitchy joined a gang. But the only gang she ever wanted to join was Toman, and as you can see, she isn’t here.”
Hakkai freezes - realizing he fucked up and might have just signed both his and his own captain’s death in blood. He grips at Takashi’s leg as if he could save him from the Invisible Mikey’s wrath.
“Oi, Mitsuya!” Draken calls, turning to the lilac haired boy with narrowed eyes. “What’s this bullshit about Takemitchy joining another gang?”
Takashi schools his expression into one that’s more relaxed and doesn’t look like he’s about to shit himself, “she told me that she wasn’t sure she wanted to join Toman anymore.”
“What?” Mikey leans over the table, moving deep into Takashi’s personal space. The chopsticks in his hand creak with the pressure. “Why not?”
Takashi sighs - he should just tell the truth. It’s their fault she felt like an inconvenience around them anyway, “Takemitchy said she didn’t feel welcomed.”
Pah-chin gawks, banging his hands on the table and making all their plates clatter, “that never stopped her before!”
“Well, when Hakkai and I visited her house after August 3rd-“
“You went to her house?” Nahoya yells, using his pair of chopsticks as a weapon. “How’d you find out where she lives!?”
Peh-yan shakes his head in disbelief, “Mitsuya, you dog!”
“She told me she wasn’t interested in Toman anymore because she thought you guys didn’t like her,” Takashi explains, choosing to ignore the little comments from his fellow captains. Why are they trying to make him sound like a stalker-pervert? For god’s sake, he isn’t Mikey. “And she seemed really upset about Kisaki joining, so she really might have given up on Toman.”
Mikey’s eye twitches, and to Takashi’s surprise, so does the eyes of everyone else.
Takashi can admit he likes Takemichi. She’s funny and strong and she's really nice too (and really, really pretty, especially when she has that crazy, maniacal grin on her face with splattered blood to match the blush of her cheeks). He didn’t realize that the others found her as endearing as well.
“Did she say which gang she wanted to join?” Mikey asks through gritted teeth, bending and snapping his chopstick. Takashi knows that whatever gang he says would be the next to be on the Invincible Mikey’s shitlist.
“No,“ Takashi shifts uncomfortably - why the hell is Mikey glaring at him like he’s the enemy!? Mikey’s the one that was playing hard to get with the girl. “Just that she was interested in one.”
“Ah, well,” Mikey suddenly calms - the suffocating energy dissipates and the commander leans back in his chair like he doesn’t have a care in the world. “Whatever, it’s fine.”
“It’s fine?” Draken scoffs, crossing his arms in clear annoyance at the sight of Mikey not caring that Takemichi is leaving them in the dirt for a mysterious new gang after essentially threatening and harassing them for months to let her join. “How the hell is any of this fine?”
“It doesn’t matter which gang Takemitchy runs off to,” Mikey yawns, smacking his lips. “We’ll just beat the shit out of all of them and get her back wherever she is.”
“Oh,” Draken blinks. Suddenly he remembers that they are the commanders and captains of one of the strongest delinquent gangs in the entire Kanto region “Right. Easy.”
~~~
Their plan is straightforward.
What Toman lacks in numbers, they make up for in the sheer strength the captains provide. So in their mind, all they have to do to find Takemichi is seek out every gang in a twenty mile radius and beat the shit out of all of them until someone fesses up and tells them where she went.
Luckily, their first prospective victims made the search easy for them since Valhalla sent a declaration of war in the form of one of Toman’s lower members hogtied next to the well of the Musashi Shrine.
‘Official invitation to getting your ass beat by Valhalla!’ The words were barely legible from where it was written across the guy’s naked chest.
Luckily it was written in a near-dead Sharpie marker (judging by the failed streaks that were left behind the words) and not in blood. It included a date, time, and a winky face with a speech bubble saying ‘see you there!’.
“Fuckin’ finally,” Nahoya grins, cracking his neck and then shaking his little brother back and forth in excitement when the day finally arrives. “Finally, finally, finally!”
“It’s been way too quiet,” Baji agrees. “It was suspicious.”
“These fucks have to know something,” Pah-chin rolls out his shoulders. A good chunk of Moebius members joined up with Valhalla, and it doesn’t matter what new gang they go under, anytime a Moebius member is knocked out and bleeding is a good day for Pah-chin.
The fight is meant to take place at a junkyard - a fitting spot for Valhalla’s end. The gang is three-hundred strong against Toman’s one-fifty, but with all the captains present and ready to go to war, no one is really worried.
Besides, they have something important to fight for.
The invitation didn’t say anything about an audience. Still, no one is surprised to see the heads of multiple other gangs sitting among the rubble and dirt - away from the fight but with a perfect view of the fighters.
“Leanman, Hansen from Ikebukuro, the fuckin’ Haitani Brothers,” Chifuyu lists off everyone is recognized from the crowd. It’s a full house. “Is that the Black Dragons back there?”
The right and left hand of the Black Dragons think that they’re stealthily hiding in the back, but they are the only ones wearing bright white uniforms untouched by dirt whereas all the other gang heads are wearing casual clothing.
They might as well be saying ‘look over here! The Black Dragons have arrived!’
“What a pair of douchebags,” Hakkai whistles.
“It doesn’t matter who’s watching us,” Mikey doesn’t spare any of the onlookers a second glance - especially the ones that are way too eager to catch the Invincible Mikey’s eye. “They’re all next to get fucked up after we’re done with Valhalla.”
Draken nods, their Toman flagpole resting cooly on his shoulder, “any one of them could have Takemitchy in their ranks.”
It’s two o’clock, the designated time for their battle, but there isn’t any sign of Valhalla anywhere.
“They pick this fight and decide to pussy out?” Kazutora yawns, heavily leaning on Chifuyu’s shoulder to keep him up. “How lame, man.”
Just as they are about to let their annoyance get the best of them and figure out where the hell Valhalla’s headquarters is just so they can storm it, a crowd of men dressed in fucking costumes come flooding in from the opposite entrance.
“What the hell is this?” Baji growls, seeing at least seven different Luffy costumes and another ten dressed as Zoro.
A few of them are dressed like cops, paired right next to a partner dressed as a prisoner like the intro to some shitty orgy porno.
Nahoya laughs hard from his chest, but the vein in his forehead shows how ticked off he really is, “do these bastards think this is a joke?”
More and more flood the junkyard until the battlefield is half-full of Tokyo Manji members dressed in their signature black toppukus, and the other hall is full of Valhalla members dressed as anime characters, superheroes, a group of seven dressed as the members of BTS (with two Jung-kooks).
Every single one of them looks like the star of a clown parade.
And to top it all off, the presumed leader of the gang comes out wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jeans and a pink dog collar fastened around his neck.
“Hey, hey,” Hanma Shuji calls out with his arms out wide as if he weren’t half-naked looking like a masochist’s self-fantasies. “Toman, you made it!”
Every pair of eyes is stuck on him as he walks across the field and meets Toman’s elites in the middle alone.
‘This definitely feels like a shitty orgy porno,’ crosses more than half of their minds.
“The fuck is going on here?” Mucho demands, glaring hard at a Goku that flips him off. It was already a chore coming to this fight, and now their enemy is making a mockery of them in front of respected figures. “Why’re you all dressed like that?”
“It’s Halloween, ya know?” Hanma shrugs, twirling the end of his leash between his fingers. “Costumes are mandatory.”
“It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, you’re still gettin’ your asses beat,” Draken tilts his head to rest on his flagpole lazily. “If that’s what you wanna die in, then by all means, man.”
“You’re the leader?” Mikey doesn’t blink at the crowd of costumes, nor the pink dog dollar clad around his enemy’s neck.
Maybe it would have been amusing to see Hanma Shuji paraded around like a trophy if the damned guy hadn’t done it himself.
“Something like that,” Hanma grins to himself.
That’s all Mikey cares to know before he’s dropping his commander’s cloak and initiating his signature attack - lifting his leg and aiming to knock Hanma’s head clean off his shoulders.
Hanma blocks the kick - as expected - but he can’t counter the force no matter how far ahead he can think. In a flash, Mikey has him pinned to the ground with the rocks of the dirt digging deep into his stomach.
“Anyone new join up with you lately?” Mikey interrogates, taking Hanma’s arm and pushing it up where muscles aren’t meant to bend. “Maybe someone with pretty blue eyes and a shitty blonde dye-job?”
“Ah,” Hanma pretends to think, then slyly looks back at the enemy with a cocky grin. “We might have someone like that. Is she pretty as a picture and got a smile that lights up the sky, too?”
Dark eyes twitch in annoyance, and Hanma’s praise of a gorgeous woman is all he needs to hear to know that Takemichi joined up with these bastards.
Which means all Mikey has to do in order to get her back is snap the ligaments of this bastard’s body.
“Thanks for your cooperation,” Mikey grins, grabbing Hanma’s left arm and getting ready to snap the bone.
“He’s not the leader!”
All their focus had been on Mikey and his increasing desire to rip Hanma to shreds in order to get Takemichi back on their side, and they hadn’t noticed the sound of rushing footsteps behind them until someone grunted in pain. They all finally whip around.
Chifuyu straightens up, ready to defend one of his members before he sees who the victim was.
‘Oh, it’s just him...'
On the ground is Kisaki - his toppuku already dirtied up by the ground, and both of his arms are pulled back tight. They have all been on the opposite end of that hold. One swift movement is all it would take to pop Kisaki’s shoulders where they aren’t supposed to be.
Knowing that it was just Kisaki being threatened makes Chifuyu care less about the attack on one of their members.
And the person pinning him down with the intent to dislocate his arms is…
“If your goal is to defeat Valhalla’s leader, then you should be attacking me," Takemichi grins, leaning more weight against Kisaki’s arms and making him grunt out in pain.
Mikey nearly loses his grip on Hanma’s arms, “Takemitchy?!”
“Mi-chan?” Kisaki groans through gritted teeth.
“Hello, traitor,” Takemichi stands up sharply, then yanks Kisaki up to follow.
She sends him barreling towards the group of Toman captains, and the force of her throw nearly sends Chifuyu, Hakkai, and Souya crashing to the ground.
“I bet you were worried we were gonna stand you up, right?” Takemichi grins and crosses her arms quite proudly.
If Draken knows her, and he does, he’s willing to bet she was hiding behind the stack of cars and decided to wait until exactly 2:01pm just to make a dramatic entrance.
He opens his mouth - maybe to drop an apology, or say something snarky or flirty enough to get his ass kicked by the others, but then Draken’s brain finally comprehends exactly what he’s looking at.
The strongest men of Tokyo Manji stare in complete shock at the sight of her.
“Uh…” Draken doesn’t get lost for words. Takemichi has that effect on him.
It’s not just the fact that the girl, who shoved her way into the space between their ribs that they call a heart, is now the leader of a rival gang that declared war on them.
It’s not even the fact that she clearly attacked Kisaki, her childhood friend, with the intention of snapping his arm.
It’s what she’s wearing that throws them off guard enough to gape.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Draken frowns in disbelief. The flagpole on his shoulder slips off when he slumps. Their prized flag that marks who they are thumps softly on the ground.
“What, you don’t like my costume?” Takemichi raises an eyebrow and reaches up to rub at her bald cap self-consciously.
Rather than the white bomber jacket they have seen Valhalla members walk around in, Takemichi wears a plain white button-up underneath a black blazer. The top two buttons of the white shirt are wide open, giving them a nice view of her chest.
Maybe they would have considered it risque if it hadn’t been for the bald cap covering every strand of her blonde hair, the fake goatee stickered to her chin, and the pair of aviator shades perched on her small nose.
“Why’re you wearing a bald cap…?” Chifuyu would have thought he got dirt in his eyes if he hadn’t seen how confused the rest of the captains are.
Nahoya points a finger, “and what’s that on your chin?”
“It’s Halloween!” Takemichi throws her hands in the air as if that was the most important event going on today.
Of course they know it’s Halloween. The thought of fighting Valhalla and being one step closer to finding Takemichi, though, was way more important.
“Yeah, but why are you dressed like that?” Kazutora narrows his eyes, racking her figure up and down in thought. “Who are you supposed to be?”
Takemichi gapes, flicking her aviator sunglasses as if that were supposed to be the big clue and not her suddenly bald head, “I’m Pitbull!”
Kazutora blinks, looking to the side and seeing matching puzzled looks on his fellow captains’ faces. He turns back to Takemichi and shrugs, still lost.
“Mr. Worldwide?” Takemichi tries to jog their memory, then frowns at their blank stares. “You know! You know the song that goes ‘I knew my rent was gon’ be late about a week ago, but I work my ass of-‘ still nothing?“ They can see her eyes widening in disbelief behind the aviators. “Are you serious? You don’t know this one?”
Off in the corner, two men in white snickers to themselves. They had only come to witness a beatdown, and got a show instead.
“That’s an English pop song, right?” Mitsuya huffs light-heartedly. “I’m more of an indie-rock kinda guy.”
“I mean, I think I’ve heard it,” Mikey scratches his temple, leaning more weight onto Hanma’s shoulders as if to think harder. “I dunno though. But you should sing it again just to make sure.”
Takemichi nods - really wanting them to understand who her costume is meant to be, “it goes ‘been there, done that. But everyday above ground is a great d-‘ wait a goddamn minute,” Takemichi pauses and points an accusing finger at the group of captains that are not even trying to hide their amused (and waaay too endeared) expressions.
“You’re making me sing again just to make fun of me!”
And here Takemichi thought they really wanted her to help them out here!
Mikey shakes his head with a smile that takes up most of his face, “no, no, really. Keep singing. Maybe I’ll remember who you’re talking about.”
Takemichi pouts, face reddening in embarrassment and that just makes all the captains even more smitten, “no way, asshole! You’re just being a jerk about my costume!”
“Boss,” Hanma snickers - still shirtless, still with that dog collar around his neck, and still pinned to the dirt with a rival gang leader on top of him and ready to snap his arm. “This guy’s size is no joke, I’m being crushed over here.”
“Boss,” Mikey repeats, the word unfamiliar on his tongue considering he is the commander and doesn’t answer to anyone. “You’re really Valhalla’s leader?”
“The one and only,” Takemichi grins - a smile that looks more like an animal baring their teeth threateningly. “I got them friendship bracelets!”
She raises up a wrist and flicks at a small headless angel charm on a bracelet. “Raise it, men!”
“Yes, boss!” All of Valhalla’s members raise their wrist and flick matching charms.
Mikey blinks - briefly wondering if he should implement something similar to raise morale, “you declared war on us.”
“I did! We’re fighting today, Mikey-kun,” she reminds him just in case he forgot. “But first!”
Takemichi punches a fist in her palm and then turns to Pah-chin, her blue eyes peering through the top of her stupid glasses. “Haruki!”
“Takemitchy,” Pah-chin greets back, back straightening up at the call of his given name.
Normally he would punch out anyone that had the audacity to call him so familiarly, but since it’s Takemichi, it’s fine.
Not to mention, she would knock his wisdom teeth out before he could even try.
“The bastards that assaulted your friend’s girlfriend, I found out who they were,” her words immediately sober up any amusement. The look in her eyes hardens and suddenly they really are looking at a gang leader.
”None of them were stupid enough to try joining up with Toman, but they were dumb enough to think they’d be safe in Valhalla.”
Takemichi raises a hand and snaps once.
Immediately, there’s shuffling behind her and six men - all with busted noses, split lips, eyes beaten so bad that they can’t even open them - are forced to their knees in front of them. They are far too beaten to be of any threat, but the rope tied around their wrists are tightened to the point their limbs are purple.
The men don’t look anyone in the eye. They can feel the Toman captains’ furious glares burning deep into their broken skin.
“I’ll be damned to have sickos like that hanging around me,” Takemichi snaps her fingers one more time, and in a flash, a plastic bag is thrown at the captains’ feet. “But don’t worry. I made everyone know that kind of stuff isn’t gonna fly.”
The plastic bag is unassuming - its high opacity prevents them from knowing what’s inside. Curiosity gets the better of them, and Pah-chin takes the initiative to slowly open it up.
He opens it up enough to peek through, and that’s all he needs to see exactly what it is.
He gags, swallowing back vomit and stomach bile, but the grin he sends to the girl spells nothing less than complete admiration, “is this…?”
Takemichi matches his smile and kicks one of the six men in the throat, “yup! Can’t pull shit like that again without a weener!”
The rest of the captains drop their faces in complete disbelief. Now looking a bit closer to the plastic bag, they can see the hue of chunks of meat and red blood pooling at the bottom.
It’s clear Takemichi wasn’t nice about it, it’s clear that it hurt.
A lot.
“You cut off their…” Chifuyu gestures his hand around his groin nervously. Despite the fear of the thought of ever having his dick sliced off, knowing that it was these sick bastards that got their manhood stolen makes him ecstatic.
“She didn’t cut it off,” Hanma snickers into the dirt. “The boss tore all of ‘em off with her nails.”
Someone in the crowd laughs, and when Chifuyu looks to check who it was, the older Haitani brother is heavily leaning against his younger brother and trying to muffle his snickers into his hand.
He already doesn’t like the pure look of interest on both of their faces.
“Before we get started, I wanted to give you these,” Takemichi gestures to the bag of dicks, and then to the line of men that lost theirs. “Since the act was made against Toman’s friends, I thought it’d be fit for you guys to decide their punishment.”
‘Literally ripping off their dicks wasn’t punishment enough?’ A few frightened, low-tier Toman members think.
‘No,' all the captains think.
Takemichi has already done the worst, but there is nothing wrong with going even further. The poor girl is still in the hospital - there is no such thing as going too far when it comes to these men’s punishment.
“Thank you, Takemitchy,” Mikey finally releases Hanma, slowly getting up to gesture to the six men. “Take them.”
Six of Toman’s own eagerly walk up to drag their newest victims off. The men try kicking them away with broken legs, screaming behind their gags, and all their struggle amounts to even more smiles around them.
“There’s that,” Takemichi mockingly waves goodbye to the men while they sob as they are dragged away, before turning back to the captains. “I didn’t just declare war on Toman to beat your ass because you all suck and wouldn’t let me in your gang. It’s also a punishment for my guys, too!”
Takemichi raises a hand and quirks her pointer finger in a ‘come hither’ motion. A good chunk of Valhalla immediately step up with solemn but accepting looks on their faces. It’s clear that they are the former members of the half of Moebius that didn’t join Toman.
“Just because they weren’t the ones to do it doesn’t mean they didn’t enable it.” Takemichi’s voice lowers again and, more pointedly, says, “I’m not stupid enough to think my bottom-feeding fodder-bucket-“
The former Moebius members wince in physical pain at such an insult from their own boss. Still, no one denies it.
“Moron-ass, wuss-baby men,” she continues, “could take on any of Toman’s captains.” Takemichi scratches at the edge of her bald cap absent-mindedly. “But truth be told, we’re not meant to win today.”
Takemichi throws her hands up in a ta-da motions, “I want you to beat some respect in my men!”
‘It’s just… a whirlwind of confusion,’ everyone thinks.
From the declaration of war to Takemichi’s bald head to the ripped dicks in a plastic bag to now being told they have to beat the shit out of her own men… they’re all getting a headache already.
‘Yeah,’ Draken thinks with a growing migraine. ‘I definitely missed her.’
Mucho rubs his temples, ‘just as it was starting to finally get quiet…’
“You want us to beat your guys?” Mikey questions. He’s definitely not opposed to it, but it’s not a request any gang leader gets from another gang leader.
“As their boss, I would beat it into them myself,” Takemichi shrugs and points to the large crowd of Valhalla members. “But that’s almost three hundred guys to beat up, and I’m only one busy woman.”
“Shuji, come here,” Takemichi points to her feet and instantly Hanma is popping up to stand and at her side. She takes the leash of Hanma’s collar, kicks his legs out from underneath him, and forces him to the ground on his knees.
“I already bitched their leader,” Takemichi pats the guy’s head like he’s a little doggy. “And showed them what happens when they try to act out, but a little more reforming wouldn’t hurt.”
Despite being publicly humiliated and treated like a pet in front of every rival leader with a reputation, Hanma doesn’t look embarrassed in the least.
Matter of fact, he looks like he enjoys the treatment. He rests his head against her thigh and smirks at the annoyed looks on the captains’ faces as if to say ‘look, see. I belong to her and you don’t, losers.’
“Valhalla!” Takemichi calls out. At her words, all of her men stand at attention. “Toman’s gonna beat your ass today, and you’re gonna take it like good boys.”
Takemichi turns to the captains, who are still trying to mentally catch up, “beat it good, okay? And don’t worry, it’s not considered bullying because I told them to give you their all too!”
“You’re alright with your leader throwing you out to the enemy like this?” Kazutora questions - not concerned over Takemichi’s treatment of her men, but genuinely curious about what she did for hundreds of men to be alright with getting their asses best simply because she told them to.
“We owe it to the boss,” the guy says, blood dripping from every opening on his face. Kazutora still punches him three more times. “Hgack!”
“Why are you already so loyal?” He has experience getting caught in that woman’s web - embarrassingly quick, if he ever had to admit - but Kazutora would probably have a few reservations if Takemichi told him ‘the enemy is going to beat your ass and you have to take it.’
Well, if Takemichi called him a ‘good boy’ then maybe Kazutora would be alright with keeping those reservations to himself.
“Han- hgack!-“ the guy coughs blood and Kazutora barely moves his head to the side so that the phlegm doesn’t hit his face. “Hanagaki cares about us, I can see it on her face.”
In Kazutora’s opinion, he only saw slight annoyance and a bit of hunger on Takemichi’s face anytime she spoke to or of her new gang.
“Taking this punishment will make Hanagaki trust us,” the guy suddenly amps up, the thought of Takemichi’s trust rejuvenating him and his desire to get his face turned inside out by Kazutora’s fists. “I want to follow Hanagaki! I want to be her good boy!”
‘That’s enough,’ Kazutora thinks in jealousy (that he will never verbally admit to), and proceeds to jab blows into the guy’s nose until he’s unconscious and his blood sinks into the dirt beneath them.
He straightens up, ready to pummel the hell out of the rest of Takemichi’s stupid good boys, and would have taken a hard hit to the head by a crowbar if it hadn’t been for Hakkai snatching the weapon and kicking the Valhalla guy’s kneecaps inward.
The guy goes down screaming and clutching at his broken leg, but the two simply walk over him and examine their battlefield.
“Wow,” Hakkai whistles, watching Peh-yan take down the final Valhalla member by lifting him up (they didn’t know that guy had that kind of strength, wow!) and throwing him hard into the stack of junkyard cars. “This was stupidly easy.”
“I know,” Baji grumbles when he appears at their side - his hair is down. Kazutora doesn’t remember him ever putting it up, and isn’t that a testament to how shitty Valhalla’s forces are. “How the hell are these useless bastards meant to protect Takemichi if they couldn’t beat us with double our numbers? Shits pissin’ me off.”
Draken clicks his tongue and crosses his arms - he isn’t even sweating, “what I’m sayin’.”
All of Valhalla’s members are unconscious, bleeding, or both, and not a single one of them is left in a fighting state. A child on a toy jeep would probably end them right now.
Takemichi, however, doesn’t look bothered in the slightest at the shit show that was her own men getting their ases handed to them like Sunday’s dinner. She casually sits on the mess of decimated cars with her legs crossed like a princess and Hanma Shuji’s leash clutched leisurely in her hand.
“That’s one badass picture,” Draken hums in thought - Takemichi yawns as she scrutinizes and judges the mess of bodies. “If only she weren’t wearin’ that fuckass bald cap.”
“I dunno,” Baji pinches his chin and tilts his head. “It’s kinda growing on me.”
“The goatee, too?” Hakkai meant to sound judgmental, but it comes out sounding a bit too agreeing.
Kazutora doesn’t bother to say that any version of Takemichi, bald cap and fake goatee and all, would get his gears turning. They all know what everyone's thinking anyway. “We’re all some freaks, I think.”
“Yeah.”
“Yup.”
“The sunglasses are tying the whole look a bit too well for my liking.”
Takemichi suddenly stands, and hops down and down until she reaches the ground. Hanma was apparently not expecting her to move so suddenly judging by the way he ends up crawling on all fours to keep up.
“Do you feel the respect now, men!?” Takemichi snickers at her bleeding men - some of them are even crying into their hands.
“Yes, boss!” Comes the mournful and repented reply.
“Good boys,” Takemichi leans down to pet one of her Valhalla member’s heads - not noticing the oddly dark looks on the Toman captains’ faces.
“How the hell are they good boys?” Hakkai scoffs, crossing his arms to look intimidating and hoping that no one sees the way he tries to hug himself in comfort. “They didn’t take any of us down.”
“We’re the ones that put them in their place,” Mikey agrees, glaring at the guy that looks like he has just been sent to heaven by Takemichi’s words. “Where’s our praise?”
As if hearing that, Takemichi turns towards the group of technical enemies with a grin, “thanks for your help, guys! I appreciate it!”
They lean forward, expectantly. If they had tails, they would all be wagging.
Takemichi, however, doesn’t share any more praise and selfishly keeps her words of ‘good boys’ to herself. Instead she turns to the audience of gang leaders who enjoyed the show far too much judging.
“Valhalla’s hostin’ a Halloween party,” she announces, listing off the location and time - which starts in six hours. “Costumes are mandatory! If you show up and I don’t know what you are, you’re getting your ass beat and cosplaying a victim.”
The last to arrive and first to leave. Takemichi twirls around and heads over to the exit with Hanma on her heels and a whistled tune.
“Takemitchy!” Nahoya calls from his seat on top of an unconscious Valhalla member. “Can we come too?”
She flips them off without turning back, dragging Hanma through the dirt, “you better dress up. And it better not be anything stupid like a half-assed ghost costume either.”
~~~
“How the hell are we supposed to figure out a costume in six hours?” Chifuyu stresses himself out, searching through the racks of costumes.
They’re all either too big, too small, or too stupid - who the hell would be Mr. Peanut for Halloween?
“I’d rather not go, Mikey,” Mucho says, leaning against one of the animatronics instead of searching for a costume. He felt it shift under his weight and now he’s worried if he moves, it’ll collapse and he will have to pay for it.
“Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion, right?” Mikey snorts, grabbing a random XL costume from the rack and throwing it at the guy. “You’re going and dressing up. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Hey, you better apologize for calling her a bitch too,” Draken crosses his arms.
Even if they all have more than fond feelings for their resident pain in the ass, the vice commander in particular has taken to being some sort of protector for the girl. And that includes her honor.
Mucho has not had a single moment's rest since that day.
“I didn’t call her bitch,” Mucho weakly defends. “She knocked me out before I could finish saying it.”
“Dumbass,” Nahoya laughs, jumping up to smack him hard on the back of his head for fun.
Nahoya and Souya had the quickest and easiest costume decision - finding a Dr. Seuss Thing One and Thing Two set within five minutes of entering the store. The only issue was that an extra large was the only size they had left, and now they’re walking around looking like red bags with a target on their chest.
“Hey, Sanzu! This’ll be perfect for ya!” Hakkai grabs a costume and throws it at the guy who looks like he would rather be literally anywhere else.
Sanzu doesn’t bother catching it - he catches a glimpse of the bag’s contents and immediately jumps forward to strangle Hakkai for ever suggesting he should dress up as Stephanie from LazyTown.
Considering Hakkai walked right into that one, they all ignored him clawing for breath on the floor.
“I just don’t understand why we are humoring this woman,” Mucho chooses his words very carefully.
Girl sounds too condescending, bitch is out of the question (not that he would ever use it again), and female just sounds disrespectful.
“Valhalla is an enemy. Hanagaki is their leader. And a ruthless one, at that.”
“Yeaah,” Mikey doesn’t dispute that fact. Everyone was there to see the bag of dicks slumped sadly in the dirt, and the eagerness in the woman’s eyes at the thought of her own men getting beaten up. “But she’s also an honorary Toman member, so it doesn’t matter.”
“When did we decide that?” Mucho frowns. He never heard of this before.
“I did. Just now,” Mikey nods. He is the commander, afterall.
“Mucho’s right about one thing,” Mitsuya takes a clown costume from the rack and instantly puts it back - the things everyone would say if he showed up in that… “Party full of delinquents from different gangs. Someone’s gonna be dead by midnight.”
“Then you better hope it ain’t us,” Baji slaps his back.
“What if Takemitchy’s plotting something?” Kazutora hopes they don’t hear his slight apprehension.
“You really think she’d do something to us?” Again, the bag of dicks appears in their minds. Not that they’ve ever did anything similar to the perpetrators to warrant that punishment, and Takemichi knows that.
…
They’re really hoping Takemichi knows that.
“I don’t know! That’s what I’m worried about!” Kazutora sweats, squeezing the sides of his neck in preparation just in case Takemichi decides she wants to strangle him at the door. “We’ve never been able to guess what she’ll do. I really thought she ran away to spite us, and the whole time she’s declaring war on us with another gang.”
”Mikey did make her cry,” Chifuyu thinks. The moment he saw tears building in her eyes, he felt the air leave his lungs.
He didn’t think she knew how to do that. All he had ever seen of the girl before that were bright smiles and slight mania.
“You think she’s trying to get revenge?”
“Don’t think about it so hard,” Draken rolls his eyes, pushing both of their heads - their stupid thoughts need to be cut short. “Takemitchy’s not that kind of person.”
“You’re only saying that because she saved you one time,” Chifuyu scoffs. “You know how pissed Takemitchy would be if you died after she tried so hard to save you? Of course you’re safe!”
Draken smirks, not bothering to disagree.
“What about the rest of us!?”
~~~
“We are gonna get arrested for trespassing,” Draken runs a heavy hand down his face when they reach the location of the party.
An abandoned building is a staple for any delinquent gang. The key is subtlety.
There is nothing subtle about the flashing neon lights glaring through the broken windows and the hard rock music shaking the foundation.
‘Are you trying to overcompensate for something, Takemitchy?’ Where does she even get the budget?
“You’re such a pansy,” Pah-chin laughs in his Wario get-up, smacking Draken’s ass and quickly ducking under the punch that he gets in return.
“Leave the skirt alone,” Draken scolds. The worst part of last-minute Halloween shopping is the tacky, cheap, and ugly-ass costumes no one else wanted to buy. The only costume left that could fit him was a poorly made gladiator set with flimsy pteruges and a red cape - and only those two items.
‘My fuckin’ nips are cold,’ Draken grits his teeth. The chances of there being a heater in that decrypt building are slim. It’s definitely up Takemichi’s ally to buy a store full of ramen and liquor before she buys something genuinely necessary.
”I look sick, right?” Chifuyu asks for the tenth time since they started walking. “It’s a pretty cool find, yeah?”
He found a Plague Doctor set hidden in a return bin with a suspicious stain that he pretended he didn’t see, and snatched it up without a second thought. Truth be told, it’s a pretty cool costume, but it lost its charm after the third time Chifuyu fished for approval.
“Fuckin’-“ Nahoya yelps as he goes crashing into the ground after tripping over the oversized onesie once again. “Goddamn, Mitsuya! Can ya do anything about this!?”
Mitsuya rolls his eyes behind his eyepatch, “don’t get pissy with me. You knew that it was too big when you bought it.”
They reach the front entrance of the building where a few Valhalla members are acting as security. Given that all of the members were seen getting their asses handed to them, it’s amazing to see people still taking them seriously.
Though it helps that the two don’t look beaten up at all.
“Alright, alright, hold it,” the guy dressed as Sanji from One Piece stops them. “Let’s see who we got here. You heard the boss, right? If we can’t tell what you are, you’re out.”
Nahoya and Souya are let through easily - both of them tripping in their onesies on the way in. Chifuyu is given the okay with a firm pat on the back, and they can tell he’s feeling giddy underneath the mask.
Pah-chin and Peh-yan as Wario and Waluigi are allowed access without an issue. Mitsuya as a budget pirate with a clear rip down the middle of his shirt and Kazutora dressed as a taco quickly follow.
“Dude,” Sanji pinches the bridge of his nose when he gets to Baji and his skin-tight skeleton bodysuit that leaves almost nothing to the imagination. “Come on, man. Decency, decency.”
Baji is not shy about anything - even less of the size of his bulge - and shrugs, “can’t help it. Some blessings are a curse.”
“The boss shouldn’t have to see this shit,” Sanji’s partner - dressed as All Might - shakes his head. “Keep away from Takemichi.”
“What?” Baji bristles, standing up straighter. That only makes the skintight bodysuit stretch even thinner. “That’s the whole reason I’m here, asshole.”
“That’s the reason every guy is here,” All Might snorted. “They all think they got a chance with the boss - it’s hilarious. Takemichi’s goal tonight is getting plastered drunk, so don’t bother her.”
“Let me through,” Baji demands. What a show of restraint that he isn’t already knocking the two out and entering regardless. “Oi, Chifuyu, Kazutora!”
Everyone on the other side of the door innocently whistles and pretends they don’t see him.
“Alright, gladiator. You can come through,” All Might nods his approval to Draken. “But cover up your chest, you look like a whore.”
“Dude,” Draken frowns. He walks into the building anyway.
“His man-tits are out, but you won’t let me through because my dick is too big?” Baji scoffs. It’s a bit flattering, still annoying nonetheless. “I don’t know how, but this is sexism.”
All Might ignores him, moving on to Mucho and Sanzu’s costume combination. He pauses and takes a long, peering look at the both of them, “I know what you are.”
“Peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” Sanzu deadpans, and gestures to their combined costume that they are definitely returning before the night ends. “Clearly.”
“Yeah, not what I meant…” All Might raises an eyebrow, but allows them to enter without any more fuss.
Hakkai is up next, and Sanji frowns - examining his costume and forcing the guy to do a short twirl for a better inspection, “what are you supposed to be?”
“Oh, I see! Don’t worry about it, Makoto,” All Might nods his approval of the costume and lets Hakkai pass through with a quick slap on his back. “He’s a homo.”
“I’m Sasuke,” Hakkai throws his hands in the air and points to the headband - quite literally the only effort he put into the cosplay. “How the hell can’t you tell?”
“Isn’t that what I said?” All Might deadpans. “Move along. Next.”
Baji throws his head back and groans, “I’m runnin’ real low on patience.” He brings a large hand down to cup his large junk to censor it. “There. Rated PG. Let me through.”
“No way, freak,” Sanji crosses his arms into an ‘X’ and tries to shoo the bigger guy away. “You look like an even bigger creep doing that! Don’t grope yourself so casually - it’s weird!”
Baji is just about ready to lurch forward and slam this guy’s face into the concrete wall when they are interrupted by someone.
“Yamagishi, Makoto!” Takemichi peeks her head through the threshold with a near empty bottle of sake in her hand. “Why are you guys playing security? Me, Akkun, and Takuya are waiting on you!”
Mikey - who dazed off while Baji was being accosted by two guys half his size and weight class - perks up at the sound of her voice.
“Take- what the hell? ” Both Baji and Mikey flinch back at the sight of her, thinking that she would have still been in her bald cap and goatee, or (wishful thinking) changed into something a little nicer to look at.
Takemichi changed, alright. From the goatee into a white, full-length beard and the bald cap to a bright red gnome hat perched on the top of her head.
She is also painted completely blue.
From the tips of her fingers, down the cleavage of her chest - it’s all painted blue. A red-dyed sarashi cloth is wrapped around her breasts, while a pair of matching red sweatpants keep her bottom half warm.
“... Papa?” Mikey blinks. “Papa Smurf?”
“Pitbull!” Takemichi squeaks, bouncing on her feet in excitement and pointing a finger at Mikey’s bald cap and fake goatee. “Did you try to copy me?”
”You know them, Takemichi?” Sanji asks and narrows his eyes. Had they been dressed in their normal outfits, he probably would have pissed his pants.
“Yeah, these are the Toman captains,” Takemichi nods - easily recognizing Mikey despite his blonde hair hidden behind a bald cap that doesn’t match his skin tone.
She turns to Baji, takes one quick glance down and widens her eyes, “woah! Skeletons don’t have organs like that Baji-kun!”
It was fine having Sanji and All Might and the rest of the guys seeing his bulge, but having Takemichi be massively aware of the existence of his dick makes Baji even more aware of it.
“Don’t look at it,” Baji looks to the side, suddenly shy and covering his groin with more purpose.
He’s never been a bashful guy - yet here he is. Blushing because Papa Smurf is gawking at his dick.
‘How is that fucking costume getting me going too?’ Baji can’t seriously be this deprived.
“Someone oughtta call the cops on you,” Mikey shakes his head despite the fact that he walked at least five blocks with him and his clear bulge. He wouldn’t have had an issue with it if Takemichi didn’t look impressed at the sight of it.
“It’s fake, Takemitchy. He stuffed it before we got here.”
“Don’t worry about it, Baji-kun,” Takemichi says before Baji could rip off Mikey’s bald cap and rip off every strand of hair. “There’s at least thirty naked dudes inside, so you’re not gonna stand out.”
“The hell are they naked for?”
“And look at you, Draken-kun!” Takemichi turns and faces the rest of the captains that were allowed entry the first time. “Your boobs are bigger than mine!”
“Can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not,” Draken murmurs. He doesn’t need to think about it any longer.
“You guys are the last to show up,” she guides them into the building and shouts louder to be heard over the pounding music. “Everyone else bought food and drinks, but sure! Your presence should be enough!”
“Enjoy the party, k!” Takemichi takes the time to slap all of their backs, and then because Mikey and Draken are the commanders, she slaps them twice. “Cause once the clock hits midnight, we’re enemies again.”
~~~
“I think… we fucked up,” Chifuyu burps, holding up his cup that used to be full of punch - which wasn’t actually punch. What else could be expected at a delinquent Halloween party except liquor mixed with liquor washed down with liquor?
“Should noooot have come,” Kazutora nods and shakes his head, then gags because the movement made him nauseous. “Shoulda gon-oo one straight home.”
“Dude, we just got roofied so hard,” Baji laughs, trying not to throw up. “Holy shit.”
Hakkai hiccups, hiding his eyes in Nahoya’s shoulder thinking that he’s Souya.
Draken only snickers - being the one smart enough to not take any drinks from the table. Especially not the one that clearly had a toy spiked mace in the bowl, which had to be Takemichi’s idea.
Spiked Punch. Yeah, Draken doesn’t know how they didn’t see this coming.
“Go sit down,” he clears out a corner by threatening the ones resting there, and deposits his drunk friends away from the crowd. “Sober up and then we’ll get outta here.”
Draken forces water bottles (untampered with) into their hands and is about to search for Takemichi to tell her that they’re leaving when he overhears it.
“You’re serious? Roppongi’s Haitani is trying to fight Valhalla’s Hanagaki?”
Draken snatches the guy’s collar before he can scamper off, “Haitani ain’t fighting anyone. He definitely isn’t fighting Hanagaki either.”
“N-no, I mean Hanagaki is trying to fight Haitani,” he says as if that’s any better.
He points behind Draken, and they all turn to see Takemichi - still in her blue Papa Smurf costume - with her arms lazily crossed and looking up at a man almost twice her height.
“I want Roppongi,” Takemichi says.
“Ah, damn,” Mitsuya murmurs into his drink - mind moving slower than it is meant to. “I’m getting stressed out.”
Draken scoffs, taking his friend’s cup and throwing it. He would have expected Mitsuya to be more vigilant.
“Someone spiked the drinks,” Baji agrees, heavily leaning against his fellow founder. They both start laughing - delirious and borderline insane. “Who the fuck spikes alcohol, man? Hahaha!”
“Haitani is a ba- a bag o-“ Chifuyu struggles to speak, giving up on holding his cup and letting it drop to the ground. “ Dicks… dude…”
“We shouldn’t have come here,” Mucho murmurs into his hands and tries to keep the room from spinning. “Fuck, why does no one listen to me?”
“Why’d you keep drinking?” Draken huffs.
“I needed something to help me deal with all this.”
“Lotta people want Roppongi,” Haitani Ran cooes as if the girl that tore off six dicks with her bare hands was nothing more than a fussy kitten. “You’re pretty cute, Hana-chan. I won’t give Roppongi to you, but maybe I’ll let you hang around.”
“You’re a cutie, too!” Takemichi giggles, reaching a hand up to pinch at Ran’s cheek. “You think I’m asking! That’s so precious!”
Ran smiles, thinking the girl is going along with his flirting - probably thinking he’s going to take her back to Roppongi. He won’t know he was knocked out until the next morning when Rindou explains to him just how he earned that black eye and mild concussion.
“This isn’t just a party!” Takemichi grins brightly, kicking the guy down and using his back as a platform. “It’s my Delinquent Debut!”