Chapter Text
It was mid afternoon, May second, the year has just turned 2000, a little after they were left to their own devices.
Sam and Dean Winchester were squatting at yet another abandoned building, already low on cash, not knowing if they'll be able to afford food by the end of the week.
It's been almost half a year since John left on his hunt, leaving them with nothing but the Impala, some weapons, and two wallets filled with fake ID's and cash, they haven't heard from him since.
He originally left them in a motel, but last week a couple of feds came by to check on them and they had to leave, they went through a few abandoned factories and warehouses before settling on this one, mainly because the others didn't have enough place for them to sleep in comfortably, meanwhile this one had several bags of salt just lying around and was five minutes away from a convenience store — one that just so happened to leave their windows unlocked most nights and offered discounted first aid kits to customers buying above a certain amount —.
It definitely wasn't ideal, to have your seventeenth birthday in an abandoned building that smelled of cigarettes, mold, and god knows what, blowing out a single candle set atop a stolen convenience store cupcake, but it's what Sam got, he could deal with it.
"Sorry it ended up like this, Sammy" what he couldn't deal with was the sad look Dean was giving him, he looked so guilty, so ashamed of himself, like this was all his fault, like he wasn't doing the best he could.
"It's fine Dean, it's not your fault" 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘥'𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 he wanted to say 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴 "At least you're here" 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘥, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘣𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘸, he ignored his thoughts in favor of eating the dry cupcake in his hand — he offered some to Dean, but the older was insisting only Sam would eat it.
They both sat there, each on their own sleeping bag, cramped in the small room they've called home for the past week. Something snapped in Sam.
"Hey, Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are we even doing this?"
"Well, it's your birthday, for one, so finding a cake and candle is kind of a must. We could try finding a bigger cake, if that's what you want, but we'll have to wait until after dark to steal it since I don't think we have enough money to-"
"No, Dean, not that" he waved his free hand in a shoo motion, frowning slightly "This" he gestured towards the ground "Why do we have to sit here, sleeping in dirt, waiting for dad while he's probably god knows where, hunting who knows what"
"Hey, you don't know-"
Sam kept on talking, ignoring his brother "He could've left us with uncle Bobby, or even pastor Jim. But nooo, instead, he takes us to a motel, gives us some money and keys to his old car, because now he got a new, better car and doesn't care about this one anymore-"
"Hey, watch it"
"And just disappears on us, letting us fend for ourselves for almost half a year without even trying to check up on us. He could be dead for all we know, hell 𝘸𝘦 could be dead for all he knows"
"Listen Sammy, I get that you're angry but-"
"But what Dean? What? He's doing his best, yeah? Is that what you were gonna say?" His brother had a solemn look on his face, like he didn't know what to say "It's my 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺, Dean" he continued "And dad didn't even try to call. Not now, not when the cops showed up and we left the motel, hell he doesn't even pick up the phone or listen to our messages" he flopped back down on his sleeping bag, he didn't even realize he got up and walked until that point, he clicked his teeth before finishing "Or leave 𝘶𝘴 a message, now 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 would be a miracle"
The two of them sat there in silence, just looking at the ground and and avoiding each other's gaze until Dean started talking again "Look, Sam, I know this isn't the life you wanted, I didn't want this either. But we are helping people, 𝘥𝘢𝘥 is helping people, alright, and he'll come back, I promise, we just gotta trust and wait for him to call when he's back, okay? And then we'll be out of this situation and back on the road in no time I promise, we just got-" a groan and a huff stopped him,
"Oh my god, Dean, don't you get it? I don't want to go back on the road. I want to settle down, go to school, have a life. I want to have friends. I want to have a stable home with a stable family where I don't have to spend several weeks in an abandoned building because my father decided to go to work in another city without finding proper accommodations and got CPS called on us as a result"
"And what about all those crazy monsters, huh? What, we're just gonna let them kill innocent people without getting punished?"
"No, Dean, I'm not saying stop the hunting" he really wanted to, but at this point, the hunting was more a part of their family than they were themselves "I'm saying, keep hunting, but have a home base, a place to return to, a place where we can feel safe, where we can feel like we belong rather than feeling like we have nowhere to go and starving ourselves because we couldn't find a fast enough way to get money without getting arrested" Sam's pretty sure his cupcake is gone by now, either squeezed to death or abandoned somewhere on the dirty concrete floor, maybe both "I just want to be happy, to have normal experiences, is that too much to ask for?"
"No, it's not" his older brother came over to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a pseudo hug "I get it, I really do. You have every right to want some normalcy in your life"
"Our life"
Dean bobbed his head sideways "Our life" before continuing "But there's really not much we can do about it, not now at least"
"I could go to college"
"Sammy" he said in a tired voice, like they've already had this conversation a million times before, they did "You know we can't just-"
"Just listen to me, okay? I can go to college, get a degree, a job, a good job, one that could help us with hunting, too, like a law degree so that I could represent us in court when we won't be able to afford a lawyer"
"And what will you do while in university? Are you going to slack off while studying, getting less and less sharp so that the demons could get to ya when you come back to hunting"
"I'll still hunt"
"Yeah? How? You'll have to stay there to study if you actually want to graduate"
"I can study while hunting" Dean just gave him a look "Just listen. You don't need to be present in all lessons while in university, you just have to show up for tests and finals, maybe submit a couple more assignments, too, but that's basically it. I could study while on the road, using online lectures and stuff while only attending school for mandatory arrivals and maybe a couple of classes every now and again, whenever I've got time"
"Alright, and what would you do if we're on a mission and can't get back in time for you to take your test?"
"Tell them I was sick?" Sam shrugged "I mean, we could fake a doctor's note, right? And if not, we could always say I got caught up in some investigation going on and wasn't allowed to leave town"
Dean slowly nodded "Okay, what if you get hit with a curse?" He seemed to actually be considering this plan of his
"I have an Infectious disease and need to be quarantined"
"Come back from a fight with a lot of scars?" Sam can't fail
"We went on a hiking trip and fell on some rocks, maybe encountered a few wild dogs along the way"
"Got a demon on campus?" He needs to get Dean in on this, he won't be able to do it without him
"I find a way to get him away from everybody, maybe offer to buy him a drink or invite him to some fake party before restraining and exorcising it. If I have time, I'll even try to call you so that you could give me a hand, if you're in the area, I won't try to do this completely alone though, I know how dangerous that is"
Dean looked at his little brother, really looked at him. Sam did his best to sit up right and look as confident as possible, he really hoped he managed to pass his brother's test, he doesn't think he could bear losing contact with his entire family just because he wanted to have some stability in his life. He was starting to worry for a second but then Dean clapped his hand on his back and smiled at him "Okay" the older said, sounding a little skeptical "Let's do this"
The surprise was clear on the younger's face "Wait, really?"
"Really"
"You're being serious, right? This is not some weird, sick joke to make me feel better, right?"
"Yep, I'm serious. It's your birthday, after all, I ain't gonna lie to you like that on your birthday"
"So you'll come to college with me?"
"Whoa whoa, easy there, tiger, sit down" he didn't even notice he was standing again from all the excitement "I'm not going to enroll into university. Even if I did, they probably won't accept me. I'm not you, I don't have an exemplary school record, and I didn't finish high school a year early with straight A's. If anything, I'm lucky I even graduated. I won't be surprised if they don't even accept me for the entry exam, and I won't blame 'em either" he stopped to look at his younger brother once more, running his fingers through his hair in a comforting motion "I'm a hunter, Sammy, nothing more, nothing less, and I don't want to be anything else, not now at least"
"You like cars" Sam noted quietly
"Then maybe I'll try being a mechanic someday, who knows, maybe that will be my new passion in the future" 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 was left unsaid, instead he continued with "Not now though, right now all I want to do is hunt those bastards down and help you fulfill whatever crazy dream you've got going on, okay?"
Sam nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line "Okay"
"Good" he gave his hair a final ruffle before taking his hand back "Now go to bed, we got a long day tomorrow. Gotta check if there are any universities you can sign up to in the upcoming year, preferably ones with a scholarship, since we don't have the money to pay for a school worth your while" he then got up and went back to his own sleeping bag, making sure that the circle of salt surrounding them was still intact before actually laying down "Good night Sammy"
"Good night Dean"
They've got a long day tomorrow, and for the first time in what was probably years, Sam went to sleep smiling.