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Spawn Camp My Heart

Summary:

Much to Medic's chagrin, he finds himself repeatedly paired up with Soldier on the battlefield. After several days of this, Scout makes the accusation that Soldier is committing friendly fire against the team. But a ridiculous accusation like that couldn't be true... could it?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

               A chorus of screams pierced the air, swiftly cut off by the cacophony of explosions. While the series of sounds were a commonality for the mercenaries in their roles within the gravel wars, they were far from welcoming. Especially when these sounds were immediately followed by the shrill cries of 'Medic!' Especially when you happened to be said Medic.

            It wasn't that Medic disliked his job, far from it. After several months of living and working with his colleagues, he could comfortably admit he liked the eight other men who shared his place in this pit of hell. However, he liked them far more outside of the battlefield. In the heat of battle, several of them could be downright infuriating.

            There were some who wasted his time far less than others. Spy and Sniper stuck to themselves, rarely asking for help, not that aid would likely reach them in time to be of use. Engineer had his dispensers and rarely needed the German's assistance to stay alive. Heavy, Pyro, and Demo frequently asked for aid, but not without offering protection for his service. Scout was reckless, often crying 'Medic' much like the boy who cried wolf, but at least his speed offered some minor utility to the doctor. The only man on the team who seemed incessant in wasting Medic's time was Soldier.

            The American was incredibly reckless, arguably more so than Scout. He had a near constant knack for leaping feet first into battle, careless of his teammates or their positioning. His preference for rocket jumping, while useful in its own right, was a nightmare to counteract whenever the Medigun's healing beam dragged Medic along for the ride. The worst part of all was that Soldier frequently called for aid when he'd not even been injured, sending Medic into the jaws of predators for little more than a boost of overhealing. To say that Medic considered aiding Soldier a waste of time was the understatement of the century.

            Medic darted through the doorway of one of the wooden shacks that dotted the battlefield, leaning against the frame to catch his breath. It'd been a stressful day to say the least, neither team managing to gain much ground against the other. At least it'd given him the opportunity to play a little offensively for once. It wasn't often Medic had the opportunity to wield his Ubersaw or fire his syringe gun.

            He stowed the handmade firearm away with trembling hands, his whole body vibrating with adrenaline. Combativeness wasn't exactly his strong suit. He surpassed most of his team in terms of bloodlust, certainly, but being relegated to healing in most scenarios left his war-centered cruelty at a minimum. Eager as he was to jump at the opportunity to show his full potential, it never failed to leave him rattled and with a bad case of tunnel vision; certainly, his typical role on the battlefield was a stark contrast to fighting.

            As his breathing slowed, the trembling settling, he heard Soldier's throaty cry for aid. He groaned audibly as he loosed the Medigun from his hip. He cautiously peaked his head out the door, peering about for his other teammates; he couldn't be blamed for ignoring Soldier if someone else was in need of his assistance, right? Much to his chagrin, the others were elsewhere, either dead or preoccupied. He sighed in resignation and carefully began to make his way towards the American.

            Medic carefully picked his way across the battlefield, dodging the errant attack and fleeing as danger demanded. The number of enemy teammates felt staggering, half of his team seemingly preoccupied in respawn. After several minutes, he managed to make his way to where Soldier had initially called for him. He half expected the man had moved or since been killed, but disappointingly, he was waiting patiently for the German to join his company.

            "There you are, private!" Soldier greeted in his far too bombastic manner. Medic hid his grimace beneath a tight smile.

            "Herr Soldier, you called for me? Are you hurt?"

            "Nah," Soldier replied simply, a dopey grin spread across his face.

            "Dummkopf," Medic hissed under his breath before collecting himself, forcibly easing the tension building in his shoulders. "Then why did you call for me?"

            "I require your assistance!" he answered, straightening at attention. "The enemy scum will be attempting to push forward and overtake our defenses. As half of our team is currently indisposed, I need your ubercharge in order to dominate those Commie bastards."

            Medic's lips pressed into a thin line as he processed Soldier's suggestion. As much as he hated to admit it, it was a good plan. And he had a point about half the team missing. As much as he'd rather focus on charging someone else, Soldier was all he had at the moment.

            "Very well," he acquiesced. "Shall we, then?" He trained the beam of his Medigun on the American as Soldier began to charge towards the frontlines, howling ferociously with his rocket launcher resting firmly on his shoulder.

            As Soldier predicted, it took only moments for members of BLU to appear and try to take point. With no warning, Soldier rocket jumped into the center of the fray, landing squarely between the other team's Demoman and Scout. Medic yelped sharply as he was pulled into the air, hitting ubercharge just in time to avoid hurting himself as he landed awkwardly on the ground, his knees buckling beneath him. He shuffled quickly to his feet just in time to see Soldier explode a rocket at his feet, using the few seconds of invincibility to tank the damage while the enemy exploded into fleshy carnage.

            Medic gritted his teeth, growling in irritation. But there was no time to let his anger boil over as more members of BLU rounded the corner. He winced internally, certain that between absent teammates and healing the reckless fool of a man he would be painfully sent to respawn. But it seemed luck was on Medic's side; as the BLU Pyro and Soldier charged forward to attack, RED Demo, Pyro, and Heavy barreled into action, making quick work of the enemy.

            The tension bled from Medic's body as he turned his healing beam onto Heavy. Yes, this was much better, not to mention far more productive. He was grateful to have more support options. Though he couldn't deny that Soldier's plan had worked.

            With the rest of RED returning to defend point, it didn't take long for the team to claim victory. Medic giddily chased after his counterpart, enjoying the bloodlust that coursed through his veins from a victory well earned. Once the mercs were satisfied with their humiliation round kills, they slowly meandered back towards base, eager for a delicious meal to pair with the high of winning. Though Medic would certainly need to change into clothes a little less bloodstained. Sure, he was fond of being covered in blood, but he respected his teammates enough to confine that particular interest to the battlefield and infirmary.

            After a long, hot shower and upon donning some fresh clothes, Medic wandered into the kitchen to join the others for dinner. To everyone's delight, it was Engineer's turn to cook. As if the man's brilliance wasn't clear enough between his numerous PhDs and inventions, he was also a wizard behind the grill. While Medic normally wasn't fond of American cuisine, it was hard to say no to some well-cooked meats. He snatched a plate and eagerly joined the back of the line to receive his dinner; it appeared Engineer was treating everyone to steaks, ribs, and corn on the cob.

            With a delightfully scented plate of food in hand, Medic retreated to the living room, settling next to Heavy. The Russian appeared to be in one of his rare talkative moods, deep into a philosophical debate with Spy. His stomach rumbling hungrily, this suited him just fine; Medic preferred eating in silence anyway. Scarfing down his meal, he settled back into his chair, clasping his hands over his stomach and allowing the droning voices of his teammates to lull him to comfort.

            "Medic!" a loud, gravelly voice cried out, causing Medic to jolt so violently he nearly toppled from his chair. Scheisse, he must have dozed off in his seat. Righting himself, he blinked his eyes open and found Soldier leaning uncomfortably close, his jaw set and lips pressed into a thin line. From Medic's lower angle, he could just barely see the American's frequently concealed eyes, his gaze focused on the German, expression unreadable.

            "Ja?" Medic responded, a barely concealed snarl dripping behind the word. He didn't appreciate being awoken in such an abrupt manner, and the stares of his teammates as they observed the pair made his skin crawl in discomfort.

            "I know I don't often give compliments to anyone. I expect every man here to perform at one hundred and ten percent at all times! That being said," Soldier continued, clapping a broad, calloused hand against Medic's shoulder, "you did good work today, maggot."

            "Oh," Medic said flatly, his mind struggling to register the strange compliment.

            Indeed, it was quite strange for Soldier to offer compliments to the other mercs. Every man on RED was more than aware when they were underperforming, but compliments from the American were frequently reserved for only the finest acts of bravery. Or more often, sheer reckless stupidity. Still, Medic was not devoid of manners.

            "Danke, Herr Soldier," he spoke, nodding once in affirmation. "Er," he paused, sifting for something to say in turn. "Your planning today was most advantageous. For that, I commend you." Much to Medic's relief, Soldier seemed more than satisfied with the response, the man's chest puffing out proudly and a wide grin forming on his lips. He about faced after painfully abusing Medic's shoulder again with his palm, earning a nasty glare from the German as he addressed the room.

            "You men could learn a thing or two from Medic's bravery today. If not for him, we might have lost this battle. I expect better of you maggots!" He nodded again, mostly to himself, and turned, marching swiftly from the room. A stunned silence hung in the air as the remaining men stared after Soldier.

            "What the frick was that about?" Scout huffed, indignation written in his features.

            "Bloody wanker," Sniper muttered, collecting his empty dishes and getting to his feet. "Thinks he's so much better than the rest of us. Acts like cause he can't see someone they're not doing their job."

            "Aye, the lad can be a tad dense," Demo agreed, "but he means well. And if we're being honest with ourselves, some of us were nae at our bests today. I think it's nice of him to compliment the Doc anyway. He works damn hard keeping us all going."

            "I was merely in the right place at the right time," Medic reassured, vainly attempting to diffuse the tension permeating the room. "I could have ubered any man in this room, and I have no doubt the results would have been equally effective. In my medical opinion, it would be best for our own sanity if we were to avoid taking Soldier's words to heart."

            "Whatever, man," Scout snapped dismissively. "He's still a freakin jerk, that's all I'm sayin."

            Demo barked a laugh, flashing the runner a grin as he said, "Cannae say any of us are disagreeing."

            "All right, I think y’all have had your fun," Engineer piped up, his mellow voice set with a chiding tone. "Ain't no reason for any of you to be picking on Solly like that. Be mad all ya like, but he ain't wrong in what he said. If we all stay focused and work as a proper team, we can kill those BLUs plenty easy."

            Despite the grumbles of annoyance, the room's general census came to agreement. There was no denying that some of the team had acted brashly and left the point open for the enemy to take. As obtuse as Soldier could be, his words had a hint of truth to them. If anything, the speech only fueled the fire within each man, urging them to show Soldier what they could do. No doubt that's exactly what the American wanted.

            Humming to himself, Medic slid from his chair and silently departed. He was relieved to see he wouldn't be needed to repair any injuries from an out-of-hand argument. Or at the very least, if he was, it would be unrelated to Soldier and Medic's teamwork. Stifling a yawn, he was looking forward to disappearing into the infirmary and enjoying a nice, long nap. Optimistically, given the attitudes of his teammates, Medic was quite excited to discover what the next battle would bring.

            Much to Medic's surprise and puzzlement, events seemed to repeat themselves over the next few days. At least once per match, about half the team would be sent to respawn, leaving only Soldier and Medic to guard point. Soldier seemed particularly enthusiastic about this turn of events, eager to show off just how destructive his rockets could be at blasting the enemy to pieces, and Medic couldn't deny that their combined efforts proved incredibly effective. He'd never admit it to himself, but he was beginning to admire the American and his brash yet brave approach to fighting.

            To say the rest of the team were in low spirits would be an understatement. It wasn't that they had lost any matches, quite the opposite. But they all found the repeated circumstances infuriating, their opportunities to show off their own skills robbed of them. And Soldier's repeated chastising wasn't helping. Come the fifth day, the hostility bubbling within the RED base seemed about ready to boil over.

            Medic strolled down the hallway towards the kitchen, content with taking a plate of whatever dinner had been cooked up and retreating to the infirmary to work on his experiments. His intentions shifted as sounds of shouting drifted from the base's living room. A frown settling onto his lips, he quickened his pace towards the noise. Given how the past few days had gone, he had fully expected some fighting amongst the team. He could only hope the situation would diffuse before his handiwork would be needed.

            As he approached the living room, Scout's voice rang out above the others, sharp and angry. Entering the room, the view only confirmed Medic's suspicions. Scout and Soldier were in the center of the room, Scout clawing at the man and needing to be restrained by Demo and Heavy while Sniper leaned against the wall unhelpfully, observing the chaos. Soldier, meanwhile, stood rigid at attention, hands pressed to his sides as he accepted the verbal beating. It was strange behavior to say the least; if there was a screaming match, Soldier was typically front and center, but if he was listening in silence, something had to be wrong.

            "Mein Gott, what is happening in here?" Medic scolded. He really didn't feel like having to treat any miscellaneous injuries.

            "Soldier is a freakin asshole, that's what!" Scout snarled, ineffectively tugging against the grasps of Heavy and Demo.

            "The lad thinks Solly here has been blowing the team up on purpose," Demo volunteered, spotting Medic's clear confusion.

            "Because it's true!" Scout cried defensively. "I saw him fire at us before we got sent to respawn! And there wasn't a single BLU near us either. He just wants to make us look bad and steal all Medic's healing or whatever." He focused his attention back on Soldier, spitting fury as he spoke. "I don't know what your freakin problem is, but it ain't funny."

            Medic pursed his lips, eyeing the pair skeptically. It was quite the accusation, claiming Soldier was committing friendly fire. It happened on accident sometimes, both Soldier and Demo were guilty of that, but such was the nature of dabbling with explosives. Then again, he couldn't deny the oddities of the past few days.

            "That is a very serious accusation, Herr Scout."

            "No shit!" Scout countered, earning a glare from the doctor.

            "Well, do you have any proof of this? Anyone to corroborate your claim?"

            Scout froze, the rage in his expression faltering as panic set in instead. He opened and closed his mouth, struggling in one of his rare moments to find words. He glanced at the other men in the room, his eyes pleading for one of them to rescue him. Clearly, he hadn't considered how this must look to everyone else; even if he knew he was right, no one else had reason to believe him.

            Sniper cleared his throat, all eyes turning to him as he said, "It's not exactly proof, but I have noticed Soldier being nearby each time a lot of us got sent to respawn. And you gotta admit it's some real shonky business what's been going on. I ain't been able to watch him, though. I've got other wankers to kill, ya know. Sorry, mate," he concluded, shrugging at Scout. The runner at least looked grateful to have someone on his side.

            "It is suspicious...," Heavy began, an uneasy expression scrunching his broad face, "but not right to punish or accuse without proof."

            "Ach, I think you lot are just blowing things out of proportion. Besides, it's not like Soldier has a reason to blast us to pieces. Right, lad?" Demo asked, turning to Soldier.

            Soldier jumped, startled by the room's attention suddenly averting back to him. He sucked in his lips, helmet rattling atop his head as his eyes darted about the room. Wilting under the gazes of his friends, he shifted nervously where he stood. It didn't take seeing his whole face for each man to see the guilt written in his expression.

            "Ya ain't making it easy to defend you, boyo," Demo added, his brow furrowing.

            "Right...," Soldier mumbled. "I have been defending the point as is my solemn duty!" he declared, returning to his usual tone. "We are at war, maggots, so if you want to live, then learn to fight like men!"

            The room fell deathly silent as Soldier's declaration hung in the air. As it registered in the minds of each man, Scout snapped, his face twisting with indignant rage. He cried out, lunging at Soldier again with all the force his body could muster. If not for Heavy's quick reaction, grabbing ahold of the Bostonian and wrapping him in a tight bear hug, there was no doubt Scout would have attempted to claw Soldier to pieces.

            "I am so over your preachy bullshit. All you do is blow stuff up anyway! Anyone could do that if they had rockets, and I bet we could do a hell of a lot better too. Take a hike, pally, I'm done. Yo, gravy for brains, let me go already," he snarled craning his neck back to glare at Heavy.

            "Only if little man promises not to attack Soldier." Scout scoffed, sneering enough to put Spy's dour demeanor to shame.

            "Nah, man, I'm getting as far away from here as possible." Reluctantly, Heavy released his hold on Scout, and as soon as the runner could wrench himself free, he retreated from the room. Demo and Heavy shared uncertain glances while Sniper departed, slinking into the kitchen.

            "Try not to take the lad's words to heart, Solly," Demo said, offering a warm smile to the American. "It's been a rough week, and I'm sure he just needed someone to vent at." Soldier grunted, having returned to his fidgety, quiet conduct.

            "I will say I agree with him in one regard," Demo continued. "Ya been doing a lot of lecturing, lad. We've all got things to improve on, but it does nae help everyone's mood. Maybe lay off a tad, yeah?"

            Soldier nodded, bringing the discussion to a silent conclusion. With the hostility of the encounter quelled, Demo and Heavy were quick to return to their standard activities. Medic, however, remained stock still, his eyes roving inquisitively over Soldier. The discussion may have ended, but he was far from satisfied with the conclusion.

            "Herr Soldier," he said, jolting the man to attention. "Could I trouble you for a moment? I would like to speak with you in the infirmary if you are not busy."

            "Sure thing, Doc," Soldier affirmed, saluting enthusiastically. However, the pinkish tinge that crept up his neck was not lost on the doctor. A nervous reaction no doubt.

            "Wunderbar! If you would follow me, bitte." Medic turned on his heel, retreating from whence he came, the steady clop of Soldier's boots echoing behind him.

            The pair traveled through the hallways in silence, Medic's quest for sustenance long forgotten. If there was one truth Medic knew about Soldier, aside from him being a raging Dummkopf, it was that he was a very proud man. In Medic's experience, most Americans were. He was also terrible at lying. Medic was going to wring the truth from Soldier one way or another, and with the intruding eyes of his teammates elsewhere within the base, he had no one to question whatever methods he chose to use.

            He whisked open the doors to the infirmary, holding one open so Soldier could sidle past before allowing it to swing shut. Most of the mercs considered the infirmary to be a cold, uncomfortable, frightening place. The menacing click of Medic's heels against the linoleum floor didn't exactly abate these assumptions either. Bearing this in mind, Medic stood before his desk, hands folded behind his back and stared down the man before him.

            Soldier, to his credit, was quite stoic. Clearly, the walk to the infirmary had allowed him enough time to compose himself. He stood straight as a board, arms flat at his side as he awaited Medic's questions. This might be more frustrating than Medic had anticipated.

            "Why don't you take a seat, Mein Freund?" Medic suggested, gesturing to one of the exam tables. "Please, make yourself comfortable."

            "Negatory! I would rather stand," Soldier stated, firmly planted in place. Whatever thoughts might be tumbling through his brain, he revealed nothing. No matter, Medic could whittle away at him just fine regardless.

            "As you wish, Herr Soldier," the German conceded, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "If it does not trouble you," not that he cared if it did, "I hoped you might be willing to elaborate on recent events."

            Soldier's expression faltered for a moment, wincing at the line of questioning before his lips snapped back to a firm, unreadable line. The only trace of his discomfort was the subtle creasing of a frown. And perhaps it was the fluorescent glow of the infirmary's lighting, but his cheeks appeared noticeably pale as well. Soldier nodded once, silently, urging Medic to continue.

            "Herr Scout believes that you have been using friendly fire against the team, ja? I would certainly not accuse you myself, not without proof. However, surely you can understand how odd the past week has been." He paused, allowing his words to sink into Soldier. The man's feet shifted, discomfort written into his rigid form.

"Herr Soldier, was he right?"

            "That maggot thinks I am sabotaging this team! But I have only led us to victory!" he responded. Too quick, too enthusiastic. And still, the question remained unanswered.

            "Ja, our efforts have been impressive. But still, this is a team, is it not? Answer the question, bitte."

            "I...," Soldier faltered, grasping for his next words carefully. "I have only done what seemed right."

            "Soldier," Medic growled, his reserved poise seeping out as his bubbling anger began to fester. He was tired of these games. He stalked close, pausing right in front of Soldier as the man shrank where he stood. Medic wasn't much taller than Soldier, but in that moment, Soldier felt the German towering over him.

            "Did you kill our teammates and abuse my ubercharge?"

            "Doc, I...," Soldier gulped thickly, his voice rasping, "I can explain." Medic hissed, his lips twisting into a snarl. "I know how it sounds," Soldier continued defensively. "But look at the results! Together, you and I tore through those Commie bastards! Our teammates would have just gotten in the way!"

            Medic's hands clenched into tight fists, his jaw set in rage. He turned away, inhaling deeply and attempting to shove down the overwhelming fury boiling within him. In truth, he wasn't surprised by Soldier's confession. In fact, he had anticipated it. But to hear the truth aloud, it made Medic feel violated, used; he wanted to tear the man apart.

            "You have often wasted my time in the past, calling for me when you do not need me," Medic spoke softly, voice low with barely contained malice. "As if that were not bad enough, you would sabotage the efforts of our team, all so you-" He scoffed in disbelief. Then, "Get out."

            "Fritz-"

            "GET OUT!" Medic screamed, spinning back around, his face red with fury. "Get out before I throw you out!" He would hear no further excuses from Soldier, and if the American was wise, and he wasn't, he would cease this reckless stupidity. To think Medic had almost started to like the man....

            Soldier, to his credit, complied silently. He paused a moment, looking as if he wished to say more, then bowed his head and left. So, he at least had a few brain cells poking about his skull. As the door to the infirmary swung shut, Medic turned on his heel with a huff, returning to his project. Soldier had best pray he had calmed before the next match.

 

~

 

            It was a well-known truth among the RED mercenaries that Soldier was proud of his status as a red-blooded American man. So proud, in fact, that his personality bordered on stereotypical aside from the sheer extremism of his mannerisms. He loved his country enough to fight on its behalf well past the point where others had ceased, he worked hard to keep himself in peak physical condition, and he kept a strict, regimented schedule so that he could always perform at his best. Nothing had ever made Soldier doubt his status or his loyalties. Nothing until Engineer came out to him as queer.

            This revelation, surprising as it had been, was not an issue for Soldier. Engineer was his best friend, and unlike some of the others on the team, he was a reliable, strong soldier and a proud fellow American. Who the man chose to date didn't change those facts, though Soldier couldn't help but question Engineer's taste in partners; what Engineer saw in that cowardly snake Spy he'd never know. However, for the first time in perhaps his entire life, this revelation led Soldier to question his own interests.

            He had always assumed he was attracted to women. That was the standard rule of thumb, wasn't it? Truthfully, he'd never put much thought into such things. His country needed him, after all, and he couldn't possibly waste time dating or fawning over someone. But the more he started to think about it, the more he began to second guess his assumptions.

            Soldier couldn't deny the sting of disappointment at the realization that he wasn't drawn to the opposite sex. He tried to be, he really did, but there wasn't a single woman he looked at or spoke with that made him feel anything beyond the draw of potential friendship, and most of them didn't even make him feel that. Defeated, he shifted to examine how he felt towards men; if it wasn't weird for Engineer, it shouldn't be for him either. While the interest there was certainly higher, especially with the strong, charismatic variety that he was eager to respect, none of them made him feel different either. None, that is, except for one.

            Soldier spoke to several men, even forming bonds of friendship with some of them. But even while he interacted with these men, he found his mind wandering back to Medic. Medic, of course, was a man worth thinking about. He was strong, charismatic, a truly brilliant thinker, and the purpose he served the team was arguably the most important role of all. And then there were the smaller things, the way Medic's eyes crinkled when he smiled, the broad grin he wore when showing off a project, the cackling laughter that enraptured and terrified on the battlefield. With dawning horror, Soldier realized the truth: he was in love with Medic.

            Upon recognizing his plight, Soldier had gone straight to Engineer for advice. Engie had arguably spent more time around Medic than any of the other mercs, aside from perhaps Heavy. And already being in a relationship himself, surely, he'd have some insight on what to do. Unfortunately, Engineer's only guidance was to talk to Medic, to really spend time with and get to know one another, and that wouldn't do at all.

            It wasn't that Soldier wasn't interested in Medic's company, quite the opposite. It was more that Soldier was fairly certain Medic wanted nothing to do with him. They hardly interacted with one another on base, Medic spending the vast majority of his time locked inside the infirmary. And when on the battlefield, the German seemed to avoid him like the plague. Particularly, he seemed incredibly averse to rocket jumping which was downright ridiculous when it's clearly the most effective means of travel. No, something would have to be done if Soldier was to have any chance whatsoever at getting close to the doctor.

            So, he had settled on hijacking Medic's attention while fighting BLU. If he could see just how capable and reliable Soldier was, then certainly he'd come to trust the American which would eventually lead to something more intimate. Soldier of course felt guilty sabotaging the others; it was never an enjoyable experience getting sent to respawn, but it was for a good cause. And it had worked, hadn't it? Medic was starting to admire him!

            And then that city slicker Scout saw him blow up their teammates. Of course, the boy had been furious; anyone would be. And Soldier didn't have it in him to lie, not really. He prided himself in being a man of integrity as every American should be. But there was no arguing himself out of this one, especially not when the rest of the team was already suspicious of recent events. And now, worst of all, Medic knew the truth, and there was no world Soldier could conceive of where he could earn the German's forgiveness.

            He paced within the confines of his room, grunting and mumbling to himself. He desperately wanted to ask Engineer for advice on the situation, but that would mean he'd have to admit to what he'd done, assuming Scout hadn't already told him that is. And he didn't want to tell Engie the truth. As impeccable of a comrade as he was, the Texan had a way of staring a man down with disappointment, much like a parent would a naughty child. And Soldier had no interest in being on the receiving end of such treatment.

            He paused in his about face, rubbing the layer of scruff on his chin in contemplation. He made a mental note to shave later. He needed advice from someone; this was a problem far bigger than he was capable of squashing on his own. As much as he hated to admit it, there was only one other person on the team who knew with certainty what he'd done.

            With a resigned sigh, Soldier steeled his nerves and exited his room. Given how late into the evening it was, the individual he was pursuing should be in his own room. Soldier stepped swiftly through the hallway to his destination, a mere three doors down from his own room. He took a deep breath then rapped his knuckles sharply against the door.

            Shuffling from within the room. Soldier normally wasn't nervous around his teammates, but he knew with certainty he was the last person this particular mercenary wanted to see. He hoped the situation wouldn't resort to violence, but between his own tendency to solve matters explosively and the frequency with which the member of RED within the room bashed in the enemy's heads, it was an unfortunately likely possibility. Moments later and a distinctly Bostonian voice sounded into the hallway.

            "Yeah, whaddya want?" Soldier winced; Scout's voice, though often a bit annoyed sounding, still seemed terribly pissed. Gingerly, as if he expected the doorknob to come to life and bite him, he reached forward and tested the door. The handle turned and he pressed the door open, sticking the upper half of his body through the crack.

            "Scout, son, I was hoping I-," he barely got out before the young man was at the door attempting to shove it closed, his face a furious shade of red.

            "Ain't no way I'm talking to you! After the shit you pulled? Fuck off, Solly, we’re done here."

            "I just want to talk, son," Soldier pleaded weakly, grunting as the edge of the door repeatedly slammed into his head and shoulder. He was certainly grateful in the moment to be wearing his helmet, though he'd accept the damage either way. He knew that he deserved it.

            "No freakin way I'm talking to you!" Scout shouted, his lips contorting into a vicious snarl. "You lied about what you did even though I saw you and made me look like an idiot! You guys make fun of me enough already, and now they probably think I'm either crazy or a major asshole too!"

            Soldier grimaced and waited for another forceful shove of the door, but it didn't come. It was as if all of Scout's rage had evaporated. Soldier frowned, seeing how shockingly crestfallen the boy looked. Annoying as Scout could be at times, it was clear that the way the team frequently disregarded him hurt a lot more than he'd willingly admit.

            "All you guys can be real jerks. And now the rest of the team probably hates me. More than they already did," he sniffed, hands balled into fists and eyes glued to the floor.

            "No one hates you, Scout," Soldier meekly comforted. He wasn't very good at this sort of thing. He carefully stepped into the room and quickly shut the door behind him. If Scout was going to attack him now, at least the risk of concussion would be reduced.

            "Screw you, Soldier," Scout retorted bitterly, his eyes darting up and glaring at the patriot. "You don't know a freakin thing, not about me or anyone. And if everyone hates me even more now, it's your fault anyway."

            Soldier opened and closed his mouth a few times, words catching in his throat before ashamedly grunting, "I know." Scout blinked, the surprise evident on his face.

            "What?"

            "You're right, son. About all of it," Soldier confessed. "I lied to the others and threw you under the bus. You were right about what you saw." He swallowed thickly, his face reddening in shame. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know I'm sorry. You're a strong soldier, and this team would not be the same without you." Scout stepped back, squinting at his fellow American suspiciously.

            "Why are ya telling me this? You never freakin apologize for anything. Like, ever. You a Spy or something?" he added, reaching forward and jabbing a fingertip into Soldier's chest.

            "Negatory, maggot," Soldier growled, taking great offense at the accusation. "But I can understand the suspicion," he conceded begrudgingly. "Actually, I... I was hoping I might could ask you something. Advice."

            "Advice?" Scout puzzled, expression twisting in confusion. He turned around and hopped onto his bed, leaning his back against the wall and crossing his legs. If Soldier was going to be a pest and bother him, he could at least get comfy for it. "Why don't you ask Engie? Isn't he, like, your best friend or whatever? Or maybe you should go ask Medic since you guys have been so chummy lately," he added saltily.

            "They are both out of the question," Soldier muttered, a shudder running up his spine. Engineer's disappointment alone would be enough to shatter him. And he was pretty certain Medic would dissect his body and feed his remains to the birds. No, they couldn't know. "You know the truth. No one else would understand."

            Scout snorted derisively, "And I do? All I know is that you're an asshole. You're lucky I haven't sent ya through respawn just for showing up."

            "You know what I was doing, though. The others... they wouldn't understand."

            "I only know cause I freakin saw you. And I don't like knowing ya blew everyone up. It's weird as hell and everyone else thinks so too which is why they don't believe me. Freakin unbelievable."

            Soldier shifted uncomfortably, his fingers knotting together. He was never good at talking about feelings or wants or any of that Commie garbage. In fact, he hated it. But he had to do this. Love was strange and unfamiliar, but it felt right, felt important; he just hated how badly he'd screwed up.

            "So, ya gonna tell me why you were blowing up half the team this week or what? Kinda hard to give advice or whatever if ya don't actually tell me anything." A smirk formed on his lips as he jabbed, "Ya trying to impress your boyfriend or something?"

            Scout had fully expected the burly American before him to fly into a rage. He'd expected indignant sputtering and slews of curses. With luck, he'd even thought Soldier might get so worked up he'd leave. What he hadn't anticipated was the man to grow rigid as a pink flush crept up his neck, his mouth twisting into an embarrassed grimace. Scout blinked slowly, his expression going blank as disbelief swirled his mind.

            "Un-freaking-believable," he shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "Are you freakin for real?"

            "I can explain," Soldier croaked, prompting further theatrics from the Bostonian. At this rate, the situation was rapidly derailing back to how they'd been mere hours before.

            "Yeah, ya better have a real good explanation. Man, I can't wait to hear whatever bs you've got to say," Scout drawled, laying the sarcasm on thick.

            "Listen, I know my actions have been less than admirable." A sullen expression crossed Soldier's face as he continued, "I have disgraced the uniform and dishonored this unit."

            "No shit, chucklenuts," Scout interjected with a roll of his eyes, earning a frustrated glower. Before Soldier could retort, he added, "Ya never said who it is. Like, I'm right, aren't I? That you have a thing for someone." Soldier swallowed thickly, his helmet rattling atop his head as he nodded once, firmly.

            "It's uh...," he cleared his throat, the pinkish tone returning to his cheeks. "Medic... I have feelings for Medic." Much to Soldier's relief, for once, Scout didn't make a joke. Instead, his face scrunched in thought.

            "Is that why you were sending most of us to respawn? Making him focus his attention on you or whatever?"

            "Affirmative," Soldier grunted. "I suppose I hoped that if he saw how capable I was on the battlefield, how well we could perform together, he might see me as something more than just a fellow soldier."

            "And you didn't just talk to the guy because...?" Scout urged, one brow arching skeptically. Soldier smiled despite himself, a low chuckle rumbling in his throat.

            "Engie suggested the same thing. Guess I didn't think Medic considered me worth talking to." That statement earned a scoff from the runner, Scout rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

            "Yeah, well, half the bozos on this team wouldn't know someone worth talking to if he hit them over the head with a bat."

            "You speaking from experience, son?" Soldier teased, flashing a toothy grin at the younger man.

            Scout scowled, jabbing a finger at his fellow American, "Hey, you asked me for help, remember? You should be nice to me."

            "All right, maggot," Soldier conceded with a nod. "What advice do you have for me? I assure you it won't be worse than what I've already told myself." Scout threw his hands in the air, an uneasy expression darting across his face.

            "Grab him and kiss him, make it real obvious to Medic how you feel about him. I don't know, man, I've never dated a dude."

            Soldier's lips turned downwards into a frown as he pondered Scout's words. The boy had tossed them out haphazardly, a far cry from genuine advice. And yet, as Soldier thought about it, the more he considered such brashness might work. He'd have to dodge Medic's bone saw long enough to get close, and there was always the risk the German might find the whole situation offensive. But Soldier was not talented with words like many of his teammates; no, he was a man of action.

            "Thank you, Scout," Soldier said with a nod. "Your help is appreciated."

            "Wa- hang on a sec, Solly, shouldn't we think of some other ideas first? Something less, I don't know, stupid?"

            "Negatory! This plan will suffice." As Soldier turned on his heel and began marching towards the door, Scout scrambled off the bed in a panic and chased after the man.

            "Dude, he's gonna kill you. Like, for real kill you!" Soldier offered a small smile to the Bostonian and patted him firmly on the shoulder.

            "All is fair in love and war, son. If this is how he accepts my heart, so be it. It is his either way." With that said, he exited out into the hallway, the beginnings of a plan forming in his mind and a thoroughly confused Scout abandoned behind him.

 

~

 

            Within the walls of the infirmary, Medic busied himself updating the files for the team, folders and papers scattered across his desktop. The scratching of pen on paper and the crinkling of pages did nothing to allay his growing headache. He propped his chin on his free hand, doing his best to ignore the dull thudding in his skull. He was beginning to regret never getting anything to eat, but it was late now, and he had work to do. Focused on his work, he barely caught the sound of the infirmary doors swinging open.

            He sighed internally, and without looking up he called out, "Ja, what is it? I am very busy."

            "I brought you dinner," Soldier answered softly.

            Medic's head whipped up immediately, an action he quickly regretted as a wave of nausea bit at his stomach, dark spots appearing at the corners of his vision. He took a deep breath, collecting himself and putting on his best glare for the American. Medic really didn't want to see Soldier, he was still furious at the man, but he didn't have it in him to do much about it. He glanced at the plate of food, some sort of potato and meat dish Engineer had likely prepared, then back up at the clearly nervous man.

            "Place it on the desk and go," Medic commanded, pointing at the corner of his workspace and returning to his work. Silence for a moment, then he heard Soldier's footsteps thud against the tile floor, halting as the man came to stand before him. In his peripheral, he saw the plate of food lowered onto the desk, a hand quickly retracting back to its owner. But Soldier didn't leave, not yet. Medic resisted to urge to throw Soldier out of the infirmary again; he wasn't going to make things easy for the doctor, was he.

            "Do you need something?" Medic continued, an exhausted groan lacing each syllable.

            "I wanted to apologize. My actions were unpatriotic, and I am sorry for the failures I have made on this team."

            "Yes, thank you," Medic said dismissively, waving his hand as if it had the power to shoo Soldier away from him.

            "Doc, I... Fritz," Medic stiffened at the use of his name again, "there was something else too." Medic sniffed, attempting to maintain a nonchalant demeanor. He just wanted this conversation over as soon as possible. Whatever he had to do to make the brute of a man leave.

            "Ja, get on with it then."

            Medic yelped sharply in surprise as Soldier leaned across the desk suddenly, grasping him by the front of his coat and hoisting him forwards. Before he could register the abrupt and violent action, Soldier's lips crashed onto his into an equally violent, messy clash of spittle and teeth, a truly horrid attempt at a kiss. Oh. OH. As Medic stared with wide eyes, his hands instinctively grasping Soldier's wrists, everything made sense now. The repeated calls for him on the battlefield, the detestable friendly fire over the past week, the American's overall strange behavior, was all of it for him?

            Medic collapsed backwards into his chair as Soldier released him, the pink flush of the American's cheeks paling in comparison to Medic's disheveled, bewildered exterior. His eyes stared unfocused at the man before him as his mind reeled with questions. How could he have failed to notice? How long had Soldier felt this way about him? And more importantly, why?

            As Medic struggled with his own coherence, Soldier began to speak, his gravelly voice piercing the doctor's thoughts, "I do not expect forgiveness, so I won't ask for any. But I wanted to explain things. I've come to care about you, maggot, more than I thought I could care for anything but this great country. You've stolen this American's heart, literally and metaphorically; I am not a man to feel emotions, but you have caused me to feel many."

            Soldier paused, a grimace crossing his features. Medic blinked up in surprise, his bewilderment slowly replaced with awe. Was he hearing this correctly? Was Soldier... in love with him? 

            "But I was a coward, afraid to tell you," the man continued. "I knew, or assumed anyway, that you thought very little of me. I am a brash, reckless fighter, eager to leap into battle to face our enemies and you're... not. Not that that's a bad thing!" he added quickly. "You're good, son, real good at what you do. And I admire you for it. A braver man would have taken the advice of his friends and told you the truth. But instead, I made a convoluted plan to impress you, and it failed. Miserably. I don't expect you to return my affections. But I love you, Fritz. I just wanted you to know that."

            Medic sat in silence as his brain sluggishly processed what he was being told. Soldier was in love with him. Really, he felt foolish for not having seen it sooner. The context of the past week revealed, it seemed so obvious to him now.

            And to an extent, it was true what Soldier said. He acknowledged, a bit guiltily, that he had thought very little of the American, finding him inept at anything that wasn't blowing up someone else. But clearly, there was more to the man than he'd thought. Clearly, as the week had proved, they could make quite the team under the right circumstances. He'd just never given Soldier enough of a chance to notice. As Soldier turned to leave, a defeated frown on his face, Medic lunged forward, grabbing frantically onto one of his arms.

             "Wait!" Soldier tilted his head, a silent question. Medic bit his lip in uncertainty; he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. "I am still furious at you over the past week," he began, "but I can't deny that we did work well together. If we are being honest here, I have never viewed you romantically. In fact, I have thought little of you as you say, and for that I apologize. Infuriating as your actions were, the past week showed me that perhaps I have misjudged you."

            Medic stepped around the desk to stand before the American. Hesitating for a moment, he slowly reached forward and gripped the sides of Soldier's helmet. The man tensed but didn't protest as the doctor tilted the helmet back, revealing wide, nervous eyes. Medic's heart skipped a beat as he gazed into those rarely seen irises; Soldier really did have the prettiest blue eyes.

            "I cannot return your affections. But... perhaps I could learn to."

            Soldier blinked up at the German before a broad grin broke onto his face. A sharp laugh bubbling from his lips, he lifted Medic into the air in a tight bear hug and spun him around with glee. He set Medic down and propped his chin on Medic's chest, gazing up with tender eyes, far more tenderness than Medic could have believed him capable of showing. There really was more to the man than Medic had ever thought.

            "Thanks for giving me a chance, Doc," he murmured. And despite himself, Medic couldn't help but smile back.

            "Just promise me something," Medic asked, the corners of his mouth twitching humorously. Upon receiving a nod from Soldier, he continued, "Next time you wish to impress me, you'll do so without blowing up our teammates, ja?" Medic laughed as Soldier nodded bashfully, an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck.

            As Soldier departed, a ghost of a smile remained on Medic’s face. Soldier really was exhausting and reckless and downright infuriating at times. But he was also loyal and strong and cared about his team. Even if Medic never came to love the man, he could say with certainty that he admired Soldier. And absurd of a concept as it was, with Soldier's persistent camping of his heart, maybe he'd fall in love with the foolhardy American before he knew it.

Notes:

Finally it's done! Been working on this one for weeks. I felt bad about how long it was taking so I stopped writing it to crank out the last fic. But now it's complete!

This was a fun one to write. I have a hard time characterizing Soldier so I hope this isn't too bad or anything. Thanks to all who read and feedback appreciated as always!

Sidenote: I'm not doing the greatest at the moment. My mental health is kind of in a garbage state and it's been hard to do anything creative. I still have a lot of ideas to work on and a few WIPs left to complete, but it might be a while before I feel up to working on much of anything again. Hoping it'll pass soon, but if not, just letting you guys know I may be on a temporary hiatus for a bit. I'll try and get back to things soon, promise.

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