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"Hm..,"
A light echo could be heard back, after his noncommittal sound. A cup of coffee was brought to his face as he slowly shuffled along the palace halls. It was his favorite- A pseudo-affogato, made with cream and espresso. Step after step, his boots lightly tapped against the ground as he gazed down at the ripples in his drink, one that he was careful not to spill.
Of course, this all belonged to Affogato Cookie himself, the dubious advisor that the king housed and trusted within his walls, despite lacking any cacao ancestry himself. He was dressed in his usual attire, his layered robes that he took extra care to keep clean and tidy every morning. Although he was an outsider, he really had settled in quite nicely, worming his way up the ranks with ease. But something was missing that day. It bugged him, really.
It reminded him of a prior interaction, one he reminisced on while walking along those halls, involving someone he'd almost consider a friend. He wasn't trusting, not by a longshot- he was much too paranoid, and nose deep into his plans for that. But... He could spare this individual just a little bit of his faith. The most he'd allow to anyone, really.
"I-- You weren't supposed to see that!" Caramel Arrow Cookie exclaimed, as she snatched the book and accompanying papers from Affogato Cookie's gloved hands. Her face was red, riddled with conflicting emotions.
Affogato Cookie had been idly poking around Caramel Arrow Cookie's quarters, simply occupying his hands and mind as his peer put her bow away. He didn't mean to stumble upon Caramel Arrow Cookie's personal business, not at all. He was usually good at maintaining appearances, but something like this made him genuinely appear shocked, his normally tight pupils constricting even further.
Caramel Arrow Cookie looked visibly distraught as she organized her things. Her eyebrows were furrowed together, and she was at a loss for words entirely.
"You-- How much did you read, how much do you know-??" She practically barked at the coffee cookie, her panic driving her to practically force out the answers she needed.
She stared at Affogato Cookie, who was stunned into silence. Affogato Cookie repeatedly opened his mouth to say something, but failed, this repeating until Caramel Arrow Cookie's expression intensified enough to make him talk.
"... Sorry to inform, but, I read what mattered." He murmured, looking off to the side out of shame. This only lasted momentarily before he looked back at the archer with a new expression on his face, "BUT. But. Such a thing doesn't matter to me. I'm not as much of a narc as you.. I have no reason to tattle."
"So, you... Don't care, that I've been lying to you?" Caramel Arrow Cookie asked. She was stunned by his answer, she couldn't believe this! She knew Affogato Cookie was very relaxed when it came to tradition, but this much-?
"Not really. This is barely even a lie to me." Affogato Cookie reassured, a smile on his face.
They both went silent for a moment, Caramel Arrow Cookie refusing to meet the advisor's eyes. Her expression was a mix of shame, fear, and confusion, at least that's what Affogato Cookie got from it. He was good at reading faces, but this sure was a doozy. Besides the wind blowing outside, it was silent, until Caramel Arrow Cookie decided to speak up again. She'd nervously fidget with her things, and look at her prior writing as she spoke.
".. I'm not sure you'd get it. But, when I was younger, I... I always wanted to be a girl. It always felt right to me. My dough yearned for it, even- Being a boy just felt wrong. It was an impulse to put myself down as a female when applying for my position, but..."
"But?" Affogato Cookie asked, picking up where Caramel Arrow Cookie trailed off.
"But.. It was the best decision I had ever made in my life. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad I broke that rule. I really feel like me now-! I'm so happy like this, and nobody has ever questioned it.." Caramel Arrow Cookie couldn't help but let out a chuckle, smiling at her superior.
While Affogato Cookie wasn't the emotional type, this story touched him. He understood this more than she could ever know. Plus, it felt nice to have someone open up to him like this. He didn't understand why, but, it really did make him happy.
"Hm.. Well, I wouldn't want to ruin that for you, I suppose..." Affogato teased, before being startled by a sudden hug from Caramel Arrow Cookie. She had set down her things while he wasn't looking, and went right for that display of gratitude. It was known that Affogato Cookie despised touch, but he'd let it slide. just this once. But as soon as it started, it stopped. Caramel Arrow Cookie pulled herself away, taking a moment to clear her throat before speaking again.
"So, you... Won't tell anyone?"
"Never. Your secret is safe with me." Affogato reassured, with that sweet voice of his. Despite him maintaining his usual slyness, he sounded more sincere than usual. He understood the weight of this.
"... You promise?"
"I promise."
Affogato Cookie still wasn't sure of how to feel about the memory. He ran it back over and over again in his head, repeating until he finally got to the room he was looking for. Ever so slowly, he slid open the paper door. Why'd he let himself in? He felt entitled to this room, like he did to just about every room in that castle.
The room was a bit of a mess. Akin to the bedroom of a teenager- The bed itself was messy, and the tables had miscellaneous trinkets on them. A familiar bow was set down against the wall, accompanied by a handful of arrows. As expected, this room belonged to Caramel Arrow Cookie herself, who sat in front of her mirror, having a full-on battle with her hair.
This explained why she was late- usually at this time of the week, they'd have a spar scheduled, and Caramel Arrow Cookie would be waiting in her doorway for him. But this time, she wasn't there. While seeing her fight with her hair wasn't the most out of character thing ever, it still surprised him. She put her ponytail up every morning, didn't she?
While she was distracted, Affogato Cookie stepped towards her. He'd watch her fumble with it, until her gaze strayed from her hair long enough to realize- Ending in her getting startled, and jumping in her seat hard enough to slam her knee into the underside of the table she sat in front of.
"And just what do you think you're looking at? Enjoying the show?" Caramel Arrow Cookie remarked sarcastically. She was especially frustrated since, on top of her struggle to handle her hair, her knee hurt like hell.
".. No, not really. Do you have issues with that every morning?" Affogato Cookie asked, his voice innocent in its tone.
"Only some of them. More of them lately- Never had my hair this long before.." Caramel Arrow answered, after momentarily giving the question some thought. She went to speak again, but Affogato Cookie had began... messing with her hair himself?
Affogato Cookie used his forever gloved hands to brush through it, careful to avoid the caramel of her icing reaching his sleeves. He could replace the gloves, but those robe? Never. He watched as Caramel Arrow Cookie raised her hands to stop him from continuing, only to set them back down as she seemed to realize that Affogato Cookie actually knew what he was doing.
He continued to fiddle with her hair semi-idly, until..
"D'you want to know a trick I used to use?" Affogato Cookie asked, as he reached onto the table for a loose hair tie. He stuck it around his wrist, so he could have that hand for further fiddling.
"Sure, but.. How would you know anything about this stuff? You've always kept your hair pretty short, haven't you?"
"Not quite," Affogato Cookie started, sticking out his tongue as he began to wrap his hands around Caramel Arrow Cookie's hair as a whole, "Used to have it real long, similar to yours. But it just wasn't very me, so.."
Affogato Cookie's words trailed off, as he held Caramel Arrow Cookie's hair in one hand. He slid off the hair tie, wrapping it around the entirety of it with ease. He proceeded to tie it up neatly at the top, taking extra time to keep it all even.
"See? Doing it like that keeps all of your hair in one place. Brushing it more will help in general, too."
"Thank you, but... What do you mean by that. By... wasn't very you." Caramel Arrow Cookie's followup question was accompanied by her handing Affogato Cookie her signature head crest. Affogato promptly started affixing it into place. Fortunately for her, Affogato Cookie had an eye for details, and knew exactly how she liked it.
"I was lying to myself for a while, with how I presented myself. I know I'm a tad manufactured nowadays... But it's nice to feel like myself. I'm sure you understand...~" Affogato Cookie giggled. He knew what he was letting her in on as he said this. They met eyes in the mirror, Affogato Cookie gazing at her with that token sly expression until Caramel Arrow Cookie's mind finally put the dots together.
"YOU. YOU'RE-" Caramel Arrow Cookie jumped again out of shock, slamming the same knee into the table with a loud thud, "NOW IT MAKES SENSE. NO WONDER YOU-- YOU'RE LIKE ME?"
Affogato Cookie withheld his answer for the time being. He was silent and focused, making sure his work on her was perfect. Every strand in the right place, her crest right where it should be, the wings perfectly even and symmetrical... He was a bit neurotic about neatness. He'd step back, allowing Caramel Arrow Cookie to get up and stare at him directly in awe.
".. Yes. Yeah yeah, traditions... But you already know how silly I think some traditions are. When I left my tribe, all of those years ago, hacking it all off was an important move for me. I could go elsewhere.. be a new person. It was worth the shame to me. No longer, did I have to live as something I wasn't." Affogato Cookie chuckled, reminiscing on those times.
"I did always wonder why your hair was always so short... I thought you were just being disgraceful, but I. I can respect that, I think." Caramel Arrow Cookie affirmed Affogato Cookie's statement. Her cheeks were warm as she smiled at him. It was rare for Affogato Cookie to open up to anyone.. Him trusting her with this was a nice change of pace, "Well, I suppose I owe you a favor in return now! That'll definitely make my mornings easier!"
Affogato Cookie went silent for a moment, thinking over Caramel Arrow Cookie's offer. A favor? He was sure that he more than deserved a favor, now that she knew something so personal about him, but he'd keep that thought to himself. A favor was a favor, after all. Though now that he thought about it.. there was something he could use some help with, especially now that she was the only person who he could even ask.
Slowly, Affogato Cookie removed his coat, and set it down neatly on Caramel Arrow Cookie's bed. She tilted her head at him. It was unusual for Affogato Cookie to remove his coat around anybody, really.
"Are you willing to fulfill that now?" Affogato Cookie asked. He made a sly grin at her, to make this feel more dubious it was, just to mess with Caramel Arrow Cookie. He liked to play into her suspicions about him, it amused him to see her squirm.
".. Alright. Fine. What do you want." The archer quietly responded, crossing her arms out of distrust.
Affogato Cookie removed another layer of his clothing, leaving his lean frame visible. None of his skin could be seen, as his lowest layer was a skintight long sleeved shirt, with his hands still covered by those gloves of his. The most noticeable thing was the presence of, well, meat on his chest. Nothing too shapely, but now that his layers were gone, it sure was noticeable- any doubt she had about him bluffing about this was very much stomped out now. Caramel Arrow Cookie raised her eyebrow, suspecting the worst, until Affogato Cookie finally clarified why he was doing this.
"... I'm sure you're no stranger to the physical challenges of being different. I'd be caught really quickly if I didn't hide them." Affogato Cookie explained, crossing his arms to subtly try and hide his chest, "But unfortunately... It's a bit of a pain to do on my own. It's.. Never tight enough."
Caramel Arrow Cookie watched as Affogato Cookie hung his head in shame. She felt bad about being suspicious- she understood this struggle all too well. She'd hate if she was found out that way too! It'd be humiliating for anyone.. Caramel Arrow Cookie's face gained a look of determination, before she grabbed Affogato Cookie by the shoulders, and sat him down onto her bed by force.
Initially, Affogato Cookie was surprised by this act, set off by the unauthorized touch- but this was a nonverbal yes. He may be neurotic, but he's not stupid. Slowly, he lifted up his shirt. His arms shook slightly out of nervousness. This revealed his bare skin, something nobody ever saw. His chest was wrapped with some stray cloth, but it was mediocre at best. Caramel Arrow Cookie nudged Affogato Cookie's arms upward to give herself a better set-up to work with.
She unwrapped the cloth ever so delicately from behind him, careful to avoid actually touching Affogato Cookie's more personal parts.
"Why don't you tell anyone about this part of you? I mean, you're the First Watcher. That's a well respected position here. I doubt anyone would care too much, you do your job well. A bit too well, even.." Affogato Cookie pondered. He was attempting to make idle conversation, to keep himself from crumbling on the spot.
"It's against tradition, and at least three sub-laws. I could recite all of them easily.. I made sure to do my research. You have to present as what you are. Any sort of falsehood could get me fired, maybe even exiled." Caramel Arrow Cookie tugged on the cloth, pulling it tighter before continuing her explanation, "I have to take it to my grave. And I'm fine with that."
"Hm..." Affogato Cookie let out a murmur, followed by a squeak from the sudden tightening, "Don't.. worry about being too tight, by the way. I do magic, not active battle. Me losing my breath is of no concern to me."
Caramel Arrow Cookie lightly chuckled, but her expression then went more stern. The gall of this man...
"Y'know, you're hypocritical to say that. I don't see you revealing yourself to the king. If he found out you were lying the whole time, he'd exile you in an instant."
".. You're right. Good thing this is my only lie, then. Or is it?" Affogato Cookie teased, only to be met with Caramel Arrow Cookie tugging the cloth tighter as a punishment.
Caramel Arrow Cookie hesitated again, thinking some more before she spoke in response.
"It'd.. still be nice to see those rules changed someday. Is it really a lie to be what you are on the inside?" Caramel Arrow Cookie's voice lowered briefly, as she finished up Affogato Cookie's bindings. She patted him on the back three times total, just to make sure it was all stable.
Affogato Cookie stretched his arms momentarily, flexing his body, all to get a feel for his peer's handiwork. It was a bit tighter than expected, but very well done. It was a shame her work couldn't last forever. He took his shirt and pulled it back onto himself.
The cookie stood, and shuffled to the mirror to get a look at himself. And, wouldn't you know it- barely any chest to be seen! He was genuinely elated by this. What he saw peering back at him in that mirror? It was him. It was what he wanted to be. It was something he longed for since he was a child in the Coffee Tribe- a version of himself he could be happy with being.
Affogato Cookie shuffled back over to her bed, putting back on his prior layers of clothing. It was a cold kingdom, he couldn't walk around exposed like that, could he? Coffee cookies of his variety were notoriously bad at handling the cold! Besides, he felt naked without his coat. He looked at Caramel Arrow Cookie with a grin on his face, now that they could finally get to their actual plans.
"Hey, we still have time. Do you think you'll still win that spar~?"
"DAMNIT, YOU-- I TRUSTED YOU, REMEMBER? YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN!"
Affogato Cookie's yelling was loud. Unbearably loud, to the point that it made his voice hoarse. He didn't pay any mind to his tears, or his ruffled hair, or the fallen snow that clung to his coat. He slammed his bare hands against the massive cacao barrier before him, the door to the kingdom, one that wouldn't open. He stared up in horror, calling out for someone to hear.
Caramel Arrow Cookie peeked her head out over the rim of the walkway above, connecting to the whole rest of the wall. Her face was blank, emotionless. Why would she feel anything? Affogato Cookie was a filthy traitor. He made bargains with Dark Enchantress Cookie herself, and attempted to overthrow their dear king. She gazed down at him, watching him slam hard enough to wear his hands down, to the point that his jam had begun to stain the wall.
But Affogato noticed her, he knew she was listening. She always was. She patrolled this wall like she'd die if she didn't. He knew her well enough. She trusted him too. At least, she used to.
"YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME TO DIE OUT HERE! DID OUR TIME MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?"
If she'd just let him explain, let him give context to the plans she stumbled upon. He allowed her to elaborate when he stumbled upon something, how dare she just assume? and not do him the same? It pissed him off so dearly. All of that time wasted on a whelp who'd take him at face value! His plans weren't just malice, they weren't just a cruel takeover. Did she not see the king fall to his depression? To step back, and essentially let Affogato Cookie make all of the decisions anyways?
Did she not see how miserable the people were, how miserable she was? Or would she be like everyone else. And see him as just Affogato the terrible, Affogato the deceptive. or Affogato Cookie, worthy of nothing. He was so close to being something, to being more than an outcast or a handmaid, but Caramel Arrow Cookie just had to jump the gun. just had to ruin what could've fixed the kingdom forever.
"... I can, and will. Goodbye, traitor."
His rage peaked further as he slowly saw Caramel Arrow Cookie turn around, and leave him all by himself. He banged on the door further, his jam splattering onto his face. He was desperate to get in- he wasn't even officially exiled! He left before he could explain himself to the king! He could get in, he could fix it.. but Caramel Arrow refused. She'd rather he die, wouldn't she.
Slowly, Affogato's slamming stopped, and he helplessly pressed his weight against the mighty wall. He gradually slid down to his knees, and.. just let himself sob there. It hurt. It hurt so, so badly knowing how hopeless it was. He wasn't completely bad, right..? He was just.. misunderstood. He had to be. Someone could see it, they've have to. He'd just.. find someone else! Someplace else. Anywhere else.
He picked himself up, and staggered away from the kingdom, and into the raging blizzard that surrounded him. He dragged himself as far as he could, before.. collapsing into the snow, and finally succumbing to the harsh climate outside. He saw but a glimpse of a familiar green, before closing his eyes, and letting the snow consume him.