Work Text:
It was quiet when he got home, there was no sign of Corey anywhere for which he was deeply grateful.
Remy was in one of those lonely days. Even though things were going relatively well in his life, there was still that part of him that felt empty.
As he filled his glass with the strongest drink he had, his mind wandered to his latest case, more specifically what the suspect had told him while trying to justify why he had killed three people.
"Do you know what it's like to lose your anchor? Do you know what it's like to feel empty? Do you know what it's like to miss someone, to the point where your heart aches?"
Remy didn't answer that question, he just looked at the man, whose wife had died in an accident that, later, they discovered, was caused by those three people.
Sheryll was the one who took the lead in the situation and tried to persuade her suspect, but it was too late. In a last act, he pointed the gun at them and shot, and then he was shot. Thank God no one was hurt, but since then Remy's mind was far away thinking about the man's words.
"Do you know what it's like to lose your anchor? Do you know what it's like to feel empty? Do you know what it's like to miss someone, to the point where your heart aches?" He knew. He knew what it felt like, he knew that emptiness.
In the past, the answer to these three questions would be his brother's name coming to mind, however, in the last few months when he thought about missing someone and felt that emptiness, it was Kristin who came to mind.
He missed her.
He missed her laugh, her voice, her friendship and complicity. He missed her company and her eyes. Oh, how he missed those eyes and the way they shone at him.
He missed her. And he also felt like an idiot for letting her go.
How could he have let her go? How could he have done nothing?
It was better this way. At some point you were going to screw things up and hurt her.
But wasn't that exactly what he did?
He filled the glass again. His mind was racing over the last few weeks they had spent together. The comfort she had given him after they had discovered the truth about Mikey's murder. All the care and everything she had done to help him through it. The kiss they had shared that had ruined everything.
Remy ran his hand over his face and sighed. The memory of that kiss both excited him and made him nervous, because that was what had changed everything, what had made her run away.
It had just been a kiss.
No, it wasn't just the kiss. It was everything that had been happening between them. It was the moments they shared outside of work, the way they looked at each other when they thought no one else was looking. It was the intensity of the glances and smiles they exchanged. The hands that always sought each other's, all those touches.
It was all of that.
The kiss was just the trigger for everything and it was what made them drift apart. And he completely regretted it.
Remy closed his eyes as he remembered that kiss, the softness of her lips, the sweet and intoxicating taste of her lips. And the way his heart was beating fast, showing that he was still alive. He also remembered the way they pulled away and how Kristin's eyes shone between excitement and fear and how right after that she ran away from him.
"I should have gone after her." He thought between sips. "I should have told her to stay." Then he filled the glass again.
There was so much on his mind and so much longing in his chest.
On impulse, Remy took his phone out of his pocket and pressed number 1. Kristin was still his emergency contact, something he hadn't even thought about removing. He was almost going to call her, but he was too much of a coward to do so. He was aware that he was half drunk and that the moment he heard her voice he would pour out all his feelings and frustrations on her.
However, nothing stopped him from sending a message.
"Remy." He woke up to Corey's voice calling him. His head was hurting, a clear sign of a hangover, and it made him groan. "Why did you sleep on the couch?"
"I guess I fell asleep without realizing it." He answered as he massaged his temples. "Where have you been?" It was already morning and Corey looked a bit disheveled.
"A friend from my old job was in town and so we went out. I spent the night out. Are you okay?"
"Hangover."
"Go take a shower, I'll make coffee for both of us." His nephew said as he walked away.
At first, when he welcomed him, things were strange. Corey was a bit complacent, but after a long conversation they had, the boy began to get his life back on track. Of course, not everything was perfect, there was his mother who completely changed her reaction to Remy and Claire, which caused some turmoil among the four of them.
But Corey was already an adult and in charge of his own decisions. It wasn't his mother who would decide whether Remy or Claire were good enough for him.
With one last look at his nephew, Remy headed to the bathroom and took a cold shower. After getting dressed, he went to the kitchen and grabbed the cup and medicine Corey had set aside for him.
"Thanks."
"No problem." Corey replied, leaning against the counter. "So, tough case?"
"What makes you think that?"
"The empty bottle of whiskey I threw away." He shrugged.
"I'll be fine."
"Okay. If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me." He commented as he rinsed out his cup and walked towards the bathroom. Remy sighed and took another sip of coffee, then went to grab his phone. His heart raced when he saw Kristin's name on a message notification.
Concerned and curious, he unlocked the screen and opened the message.
Remy:
I miss you
Kris:
I miss you to
His heart accelerated even more at the message and his feelings were in overdrive. For a second Remy didn't know what to say or if she should answer. And unlike months ago, when he chickened out, Remy answered her back.
Remy:
Are you okay?
He didn't expect her to respond right away, but that's exactly what she did.
Kris:
Yes. What about you?
Remy:
Going crazy with your absence.
This time she didn't respond right away and he thought he had been too honest and had ruined everything again.
Kris:
And I with yours
That statement made him smile and his heart calmed down. All the emptiness and sadness left by her absence simply disappeared. She was still far away and he was still a coward, but talking to her was already a start and made everything better.