Chapter Text
The sun was rising behind the horizon, just like the smoke from the volcano far away, still barely visible from their view on the beach. The airship everybody had come down from looked wrecked from the escape, yet everybody was alive and well--if not a little "parasited" as it so happens–but they lived nonetheless. As they walked off the beach, the grumpuses bid eachother farewell, to take some time to rest and heal before figuring out what exactly they have planned next for their life, especially because walking around town with strawberries for hands wouldn't be a very good idea. And thus, the two leading grumpuses knew once things calmed down, it would be time to finally tell their story of the century...
...
"Tracking down Elizabert inside an erupting volcano... it's dramatic, compelling, sensational!" The orange grumpus exclaims while slamming her paws into her desk, a rather common occurrence with the reporter Clumby Clumbernut. "I'd call it fiction, if you didn't have this Filibus Yahoo along as a witness!"
"Oh- it's Filbo actuall-"
"Point is, you're a regular Grumpter S. Thompson. It's just too bad those Bugsnax weren't real, huh?" Clumby continues as she takes a sip of her coffee.
"Haha, yeah, too bad!" The light blue grumpus sitting to the right replied, trying to sound reassured. "I-I-I hate to think we went through all of that for nothing.. so... uhm... I hope you can spread the truth about Snaktooth before anybody else gets hurt." He adds, trying to keep the conversation going.
"Don't worry, GNN specializes in painful truths." Clumby reassures, "...speaking of, you're fired!"
Well, that was not expected.
"What!? Why??" The apricot grumpus to the left exclaims. It was the journalist in question, Buddy Gooseberry.
"Listen, the story is a page turner and all, but you lost your job the second you walked out of that door."
"How dare you…" Buddy responds, half sarcastic, half genuinely.
"Oh please, it's not like I expected you to come back!" The orange grumpus facepalms. "also-" she removes paw to look at the reddish grumpus ahead of her dead in the eye. "-you're legally dead, might wanna clear that up soon."
"You can't just leave us like that! What about the story?" Buddy retorts.
"I can, and I just did. And don't worry about your story, I'll just give the credit to someone else. Now shoo, get out of my office." Clumby waves her paw condescendingly towards the door.
After a moment of stilted silence, Filbo sighs, defeated. He rises from the chair and exits the office as his friend watches idly. Buddy fidgets in their seat, they knew this conversation wasn't over, not after all they found back at the island, and they were sure Clumby knew that too
The door automatically swings shut as Filbo's footsteps grow distant. Clumby looks over to Buddy, then the door, then back to them, as if to make sure they'd finally have privacy.
"So.. does he know?"
"What-"
"Oh don't play dumb! Does he know?" She reiterates.
"N-no, I haven't told anyone, we didn't have much time to-"
"Good, would have been against the whole idea for them to know."
"Were you planning on killing them if they did?" They remark sardonically.
"Ha! Please. Nobody would have believed those lunatics, especially now that the island is covered in a magmatic blanket!"
"..So.. you knew? You knew about the bugsnax? The parasites?? Lizbert-??"
"Yeah yeah all of that, we have been keeping an eye on that island."
"Why did you let me go there then?"
"Technically I expected you to die from blunt force trauma!" Clumby slams the desk again. "Not letting you go would have been more suspicious than just letting you die, you know."
"But.. the stuff I saw in the triplicate space, the sacrificing, the 3 queens, the Snakolytes, you knew about all of that too?"
"Well yeah, why else would I have sent you that letter?" She takes a moment to think "Speaking of which.. any updates on the 3rd queen? The one that was left to watch over the island had to evacuate before he found out." She sips her coffee, awaiting an answer.
"The giant half-grump half-snack thing right? Yeah, Lizbert got turned into it but-"
Before they could finish the reporter spat her coffee onto her desk, almost choking.
"You're telling me, you were there to witness the rise of the 3rd grumping queen, and you left her to die on that volcanic wreck!? And it was Elizabert Megafig?!???"
"What, you wanted me to stop the spewing lava?"
"We need to go back and check on the status of the queen, this is a moment for the history books!" Clumby throws her paws in the air, smiling in excitement.
"I'm sorry- I just risked my life getting out of there, and now you want me to go back??"
"I never said it would be you, kid... but…" She taps a digit on her chin. "I can give you back your job if you do, I can even give you a promotion!"
Buddy just stares at Clumby for a moment, shocked, and sighs. They didn't want to work for someone who quite literally prayed on their downfall, but curiosity was gnawing at them. Plus, when did they ever say no to a request? No, like literally, when?
"You want me to go back there, then?" Buddy asks, resigned.
"Well, not just you. After the last guy left the whole place had been abandoned, so he'll be taking you with him, not that I can tell you who that is-"
"Alegander Jamfoot?" Buddy asks.
"Oh- I wasn't aware you knew him…."
Sigh “he basically introduced himself with some tapes." Buddy shrugs.
"Oh, very well, do we have a deal here or not?" Clumby reaches her paw out for a handshake, waiting for the journalist to do the same
Buddy breaks eye contact to look down at the desk in front of them, not exactly sure what to say. They left to Snaktooth, got their life together, got other grumpuses' lives together, almost died, came back, settled down, came to finalize this whole ordeal, and now they're being told to go back?? Then again… what about Liz and Eggabell? What if they were still alive there?
"If.. if I go, can I at least bring my friends with me?"
"No." Clumby deadpans.
Welp, that sucks.
"Ugh, fine. But just because I still have questions." They extend their paw and shake on it.
"Good to hear, you'll know when we are ready to take you back there."
Well that sounded kinda ominous. Buddy gets up from their chair and heads over for the closed door, relieved that they finally get to leave.
That was it then, it was going to happen all over again, Snaktooth island, those nasty creatures, the snakifications, and all the horrors that come with it, it was really gonna happen…again.
"Oh and one more thing." Buddy looks back, snapped out of their daydream. "You can't tell anybody about this, unless you want to face the consequences…Got it?"
Buddy just gives a nod and closes the door. These grumpuses are basically the grumpinati, Buddy knew they had to be careful with them.
The reddish grumpus steps away from the door and walks through the hallway. Buddy glances up, and sees Filbo sitting on a small couch near the door. Oh grump- did he hear any of that!?
Gasp “Hey Buddy!!" Filbo exclaims before jogging over to his friend. "I noticed you stayed behind, so I figured you were asking her some more questions! I thought it was best not to bother you."
Thank grump.
"I.. I was yeah…" they left it at that.
"That wasn't…ideal, but you've had worse days ey?” Filbo says as the two start walking towards the exit ”It is a shame you got fired though. I'm sure you'll find some other great jobs!"
"Yeah.." Buddy just stares at the dark wooden flooring of the building, flabbergasted that any of that was real.
I guess it's time to just… enjoy the time I have here while it lasts, however long that is…