Work Text:
“I was going to handle it anyway.. Should I thank you?” Jung Bin rubs his face briefly, before looking up to meet J’s gaze.
Cha Eui-jae’s arm suddenly rose to action, as if sensing Lee Sa-young’s next movement to come in front of him, stopping Lee Sa-young from his tracks as he remained entranced in the held gaze.
Although his face remained unknown to the blond man, Jung Bin’s ability in reading Cha Eui-jae came as easy as breathing.
“J,” Jung Bin’s eyes, tints of earnest gold in the shade of the early morning sun rays, nearly catches Eui-jae off guard. It had been years already, yet Jung Bin’s wry smile still curled gently at the same tune of his addressed voice.
“I’m sorry I only said this now,” From the corner of Cha Eui-jae’s eyes, Jung Bin’s hand twitched. Acutely aware of Jung Bin’s habits, he knew that the civil servant’s hand wanted to reach out, to touch.
“I’m really glad you’re back.” The smile on his face spoke a painstaking poem of regret. For a moment, Cha Eui-jae wanted the man to reach his hand out, knowing it in himself that he would be betraying the man behind him.
Silence met the greeting, Jung Bin’s hand remained on his side.
Faintly, it reminds Eui-jae of a time where Jung Bin kept his hands firmly on his sides, when finally given the option to put a curiosity long stewed since the duration of their buried relationship.
But he doesn’t move. He never moved.
Had Cha Eui-jae blinked, he would’ve missed the flash of fatigue in Jung Bin’s dimmed eyes.
“If you ever need anything-” need me, “-Feel free to contact me.”
Nevermind what they had in the past, Jung Bin was his comrade, first and foremost. Relief and lingering heartache made for a complicated cocktail, burning his mouth down to the delicate lining of his throat. Cha Eui-jae’s shut mouth opened to respond, when Lee Sa-young seemed to finally have enough as he shoved himself in front of J.
“That’s enough. Leave.” At Lee Sa-young’s demand, Jung Bin easily conceded.
“Yes, yes. I’ll have to deal with the task Lee Sa-young has given me. I’ll be off, then.”
Lee Sa-young scowls, watching as J’s gaze lingered on Jung Bin’s retreating figure, seething from his position until Cha Eui-jae remembered to return to reality. He was right here!
Sharply scowling, he turns to the side. “Seo Min-gi.”
Seo Min-gi, sensing the aura of a video game final boss round, quickly responded with a ‘yes, sir’ before becoming one with the soil and rocks. He quickly popped back out in order to bring the corpse-like Romantic Opener with him.
“Why did you stop me?” Lee Sa-young stomped over him, startling Cha Eui-jae back.
“So you lied then? This is really a secret meeting between you two?” His accusations come out with a sneer, dull purple eyes sharpening to the point Cha Eui-jae knew it could’ve bored holes on his durable J mask.
Not taking kindly at the seemingly ruder accusations towards him, Cha Eui-jae sighs as he resisted the urge to rub his face.
“Haa.. you already heard me answer that!” He argues.
“Then explain.” Lee Sa-young petulantly responds. Cha Eui-jae thought that he should’ve stomped his foot, to complete the pouting look. He shook his head slightly to clear the unwanted thoughts.
“What is there to explain?” Eui-jae spouts, frowning up at the delicate face with a pinched expression.
“Oh, I don’t know? Perhaps why you stopped me? Why Jung Bin..!” Lee Sa-young trails off, his heated frustration leading him to a lost path with even his words. “Tsk!”
‘Ah, seriously did this kid just..’ Cha Eui-jae contemplated whether he would be strong enough to hit this fucker over the head had he not known this was the same, pitifully bandaged up child.
The silence that fell over them was palpable, where Cha Eui-jae takes advantage of it, staring up at Lee Sa-young’s clenched jaw. The other couldn’t even meet his eyes behind the mask, his poisonous scowl instead stuck to the innocent grass that did nothing but merely exist.
‘Wait..’ Cha Eui-jae had an idea, though it seemed far-fetched. “ Yah , Lee Sa-young..”
Consciously, he softened his tone despite the filter of his mask. “Sa-young-ah.”
He approaches carefully, his fingers resting on the surface of Lee Sa-young’s wrist, an open invitation to the younger man to pull away if he pleased.
“Are you jealous?” Cha Eui-jae asks, finding no need to beat around the bush.
“...” Lee Sa-young offered no response, staring intently down at the patch of grass both of them stood over.
But he did not pull away from Cha Eui-jae, who’s hand travelled up to hold his arm. Still kindly, giving Lee Sa-young enough space to pull away from him.
“Pfft..” Immediately, he regrets letting out that small peep with the sudden way Lee Sa-young bristles. Notedly, the younger man still doesn’t pull away, to Eui-jae’s delight.
“How nice for you to take this lightly.” Lee Sa-young’s pretty face pinches further, wrinkles worrying between his brows. Cha Eui-jae was half tempted to smooth out the taller man’s frustrated expression, his handsome face much too young to be forming wrinkles.
“Ah no, I’m not laughing, no.” He tries to reassure, squeezing Lee Sa-young’s arm and patting it rhythmically.
“Jung Bin and I..” He starts. Lee Sa-young scowls again at the wording, “Jung Bin and you?”
Ah, fuck it.
“-Are done!” He adds on from his previous sentence. Even if there was some spike of lingering feelings earlier, at the face of Lee Sa-young’s purple eyes, Cha Eui-jae didn’t think twice and stomped on the weed growing between the broken cement of his past.
Because even then, that feeling wasn’t love. What they had was a dying candle in the middle of a snow storm. He inhales deeply, exhaling slowly, “No more. Nothing. Just comrades.”
Lee Sa-young’s silence felt like an invitation for Cha Eui-jae to explain.
“I’m surprised we even went beyond comrades, but it wasn’t meant to last.” He reassures him. With the state of Korea 11 years ago, it was a surprise they even put a label on anything. With him constantly clearing dungeons and Jung Bin’s schedule..
He looks up at Lee Sa-young, scrutinisation coloring his expression.
“Were you together even when I was..” He uncharacteristically trails off again, but Cha Eui-jae looks down at his hands in surprise, his fingers and Sa-young’s intertwined.
He notes the cold twinge of his fingers, quickly catching the implication of Lee Sa-young’s unfinished question.
To that, he couldn’t say no, proceeding to hold onto Lee Sa-young’s hands for longer instead, his fingers pressing on the prominent knuckles of his large hands. He couldn’t lie, not when Lee Sa-young could so easily read him.
At his own silence, Lee Sa-young scoffs. Yet he made no intention of pulling away, his hands being cradled by Eui-jae’s strong, warm ones.
‘Has Jung Bin held your hands too?’ He thought, forlorn and possessive.
“Jung Bin has never seen my face.” Cha Eui-jae adds, seemingly helpless. Perhaps to make up for the fact that he wasn’t brave enough to answer earlier, pulling one of his hands away to click his mask off from his chin.
“...” Lee Sa-young watches silently, as Cha Eui-jae didn’t completely take his mask off, lifting it just enough to guide Lee Sa-young’s hands in.
“Only you,” J whispers now, bringing Sa-young’s now bigger hands to his face. Pressing his palms to his face, allowing Lee Sa-young to explore, like he once allowed.
The action brings a familiar memory of the past kissing Lee Sa-young’s eyes as he retraced the path of where much smaller hands first explored the smooth expanse of J’s face. He was as beautiful as he imagined him to be, mapping out his unblemished cheeks, from the smooth slope of his nose to the cute dip of his lips, the flutter of his eyelashes tickling the tip of Lee Sa-young’s finger.
“Only you.”
Your only success.