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Sirius was thrumming with excitement. Not that he showed it, of course. Outwardly he was the picture perfect pure blood heir. Chin raised, eyes disinterested. He was happy his mother wasn’t accompanying him to the train, that would have meant he would have had to look disgusted because of all the muggles surrounding them. He wasn’t disgusted by muggles, he just didn’t care about them.
Instead, Sirius was sent there with Eduard, some low ranked wizard who owned the Black family more than he could ever pay back. Sirius didn’t really care about Eduard either. The only thing he cared about was being away from home, making friends and experiencing new things. So when they entered platform 9¾, he all but fled his companion.
His plan had been to enter the first empty cabin he found, to make sure he would meet new people. But when he walked past one with two boys, one with hair unrulier than Sirius had ever seen and the other in only his blouse, he was certain that they weren't noble pure bloods. His mother had instructed him to befriend those, of course. But Sirius had spent all his childhood with those stuck in the arses and was desperate for something different. So he opened the door and plastered on his most charming smile. “Hey there, mind if I join you?”
The boy with the exploded hair smiled, apple cheeks lifting his glasses off of his nose. “Not at all!”
He stood up and extended his hand. “I’m James Potter, and this is Peter Pettigrew, nice to meet you.”
Sirius couldn’t help but gawk. Potter, that would probably make his mother more angry than him befriending a muggleborn. He regained his composure immediately. “Sirius Black, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Sirius took James’ hand, which was tilted wrong, and bowed, bringing the hand close to his lips. When he was standing up again, he was met with two frowns. James, however, soon started grinning again. “I get what mom meant,” he chuckled.
Sirius kept his face carefully neutral. “Meaning?” Shit, that had sounded way too mean.
The other boy softly pulled James' hand. A simple clench seemed to be enough to ease his tension. It reminded him of his bond with Regulus, the two must be close.
That bloody smile again. “Nothing, she just told me about the sacred twenty eight families, that they still do everything the old way. Nothing wrong with that of course.”
James released Peter's hand. “Please let me try again.” He extended his hand again, palm up. “My name is James Fleamont Potter, Heir to the Noble and Ancient House of Potter. It is my greatest honor and utmost pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Sirius squinted. Was this boy trying to make fun of him? But his smile looked genuine enough, no tilts in his mouth or tension in his shoulders. He collected himself, gracefully draped his hand in James’. “Sirius Orion Black, Heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. It is a privilege to greet the heir of the distinguished House of Potter, whose name carries great honor.”
James brought the hand to his face this time. A beaming smile on his face. “Okay, now we have finished that.” He dropped his hand and sat down. “Come sit. We will teach you how to meet people the easier way.”
So Sirius sat down and was quickly captured by James’ stories. He hadn’t even noticed the train had started riding until the door of their cabin rolled open with much noise. A boy in muggle clothes, with mousy hair, stood in the doorway.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking at the ground. “Can I sit here? Everything else is full.” His shoulders were slumped, making him look even shorter than he already was. “If not that’s fine too, I will just-“.
He was retreating already, but James stopped him by placing a hand on his arm. “No! Please join us, room enough.” The boy looked up, and seemed to relax a little because of James' smile. He nodded, and sat down.
Sirius was excited to meet this boy, he was nothing like he had ever seen before. “Hi, I’m Sirius,” he extended his hand for a handshake, just like James had thought him not five minutes ago.
The boy looked at his hand and suddenly all the tension creeped back. Shoulders scrunched up, fingers clenching on his knees. “Remus.”
That was everything. Sirius looked at his perfectly normal hand, had he done something wrong? He looked at James, who shrugged. Sirius fiddled with his signature ring. It was a heavy thing, made out of silver with the emblem of the Black Family on it. He didn’t understand, but maybe Remus was just shy.
James introduced himself and his friend, with barely a reaction from Remus either. During the rest of the trip, James and Sirius talked about everything, Peter sometimes intertwining. Remus, however, kept silent the whole ride. The only time he had reacted was when James offered him a chocolate frog. A small smile appeared on his face while he expertly opened the package and caught the frog. Not a muggleborn then.
Sirius felt incredibly happy when he ended up in the same house as James. It wasn’t until he was lying in his bed that he thought of his mother again. He was sorted in Gryffindor. He was the first Black ever to not be sorted in Slytherin.
His heart rate sped up. What would she do? She couldn’t come here to talk with him, right? Sirius’ side started aching by just the thought of it. He had thought he just would have to get top marks, easy enough to please his mother when she wasn’t near him. But this, this would fuck it all up. His chest hurt. He could hear his mother’s heels clack on the floor, smell the scent of their floorwax and his tears.
He could almost feel the sharp pain on his side. He inhealed with difficulty. He had to put himself together. Real men don’t cry, Sirius . He didn’t know how long it took him to relax again, but in the end he managed to settle down somewhat and get some sleep.
At breakfast the next day, Sirius received post.
He knew his mother would contact him. But instead of an ordinary letter, it was something apparently called a howler. When he opened it, it levitated, and a big mouth started yelling in his face.
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK," boomed his mother's face. "YOU UTTERMOST DISGRACE. HOW DARE YOU CHOOSE GRYFFINDOR OVER THE NOBLE HOUSE OF SLYTHERIN? YOU'VE ALLIED YOURSELF WITH MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS. I SHALL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE MISSTEPS. ALL CONTACT WITH YOUR BROTHER IS HEREBY FORBIDDEN. HE DOES NOT NEED YOUR BAD INFLUENCE. DO NOT THINK FOR A SECOND THAT WE WILL FORGET THIS." With those words, the howler tore itself to pieces.
The whole Great Hall was looking his way. His cousin Narcissa was hiding her face in her hands, but Bellatrix was grinning wickedly his way.
His chest felt tight. He had to breathe. Breathe. It felt like all the eyes were burning him. He could hear them whispering, mixed with the sound of his loud heartbeat and his mothers words. You uttermost disgrace. The words rang in his head as if carved in his skull. He had to steady his hands.
He had to get out of here. “Excuse me.” Sirius stood up from his place next to James and left the table without having eaten a bite.
James, Remus and Peter found him outside, with his back against a wall. “Hey.” Sirius threw James a dirty look. He didn’t need pitying. He was totally fine.
“You can talk about it if you want.” James crouched before him. “But you don’t have to. I’m also very good at distracting people.” That smirk again. Sirius couldn’t help but smile back.
James patted his knee. “There we go!” James stood up and offered his hand, which Sirius gratefully used to get pulled up.
He was still looking at James when a folded handkerchief appeared before his eyes. “Breakfast,” said Remus.
Sirius took it. “Thank you,” he said, but Remus had already turned around, talking to Peter.
The next weeks were void of any contact from Sirius’ parents, making him relax. He and the other boys grew closer. Sirius and James were impossible to part. James was Sirius’ favourite person in the world. He was always happy, always knew what to say and could socialise with everyone.
That meant James managed to make Remus warm up to him quite easily. The quiet boy was very private, but James could get him to join a game or converse with him. And it wasn’t like Remus didn’t talk to Sirius, but it was different. Remus seemed to keep a certain distance between them. At first, Sirius had thought it was because Remus thought he would look down on him because he was a half-blood. So Sirius told him that he didn’t share those ideas with his family. Remus had just smiled in a sad way. “I know,” he had said.
Three months into the school year, Sirius, James and Peter realized Remus’ disease must be a terrible one if it flared up so many times. The boy would spend a night at the hospital, and would not appear until lunch. Still looking very sick, but he would always insist he was fine.
After the fourth month, the three tried to visit him at the infirmary, but were sent away. When he did not appear at lunch, they grew worried, but he was waiting for them in Transfiguration with a tired smile. That was the first time any of them hugged another, but James did it with full commitment. “We were so worried.”
Remus smiled uncomfortably. “No need.”
After that, hugs became a regular thing. That evening, James confessed crying to Sirius that he missed his parents immensely. Sirius could not relate to that, but he had enveloped him with his arms, making him cry out on his shoulder. It turned out, James was a big hugger. And when he wasn’t hugging, he was affectionately touching.
Sirius discovered he was incredibly touch starved, and more often than not the two would end up in the same bed, cuddling.
Peter was less strong about it, but still craved a hug or linked arm from time to time.
Remus never sought out physical contact, but tolerated it from others. From everyone but Sirius. Sirius didn’t know what it was, but every time Sirius came near, Remus would step back, or stand up to do something and sit down somewhere else. It had kept him awake more than he wanted to admit. They had been friends for half a year now, had laughed together and committed pranks together. Remus seemed very fond of him, James thought that too, so what was it?
James and Sirius had made theories up many nights, had consulted Peter. James had even dared to ask Evans, who turned out was able to not be hostile if James wasn’t trying to woo her. But it all came to a dead end.
The answer to that question came when they were packing for the Christmas break. Sirius had been summoned home, although he would have preferred to spend his holiday with Remus, who was staying at Hogwarts. Remus was assisting Peter, whose trunk was overflowing already with only half of what had to go in.
Sirius had just come out of the shower. He looked around for his wand, to dry his hair. “Anyone seen my wand?”
Remus picked it from Peter’s mess and with a quick smile, handed it over to him. Sirius startled when their fingers touched. He had never touched Remus’ hand before. So why?
It wasn’t until New Year's Eve, when Sirius was playing that interaction again and again in his head, fiddling with his rings while the grownups were talking politics for the fourth hour already, that it hit him. His rings . He never thought about them, because he always wore them.
His heavy signet ring on his left hand. A band with Canis Major on his right pointing finger, that had been a gift from his cousin Andromeda. Another one, with Leo, on his ring finger. He had replicated that one from Regulus’, just like he had done with his one. So we’re always together, Reggie .
His rings, which he always wore. Except when he just left the shower, the only time Remus had touched him.
That must be it, right?
Sirius kept thinking about it the rest of the evening. In the end, he concluded Remus must be allergic to silver, because he was able to touch the metal cauldrons from Potions and the golden coins from Peter’s collection. The golden coins, but he avoided the silver ones. Now he thought about it, he had never seen Remus with a sickle.
Sirius wrote about it in his next letter to James to share his triumph, his step closer to unraveling the mystery that was Remus Lupin. James answered in a short letter, which included too many exclamation marks to count, saying he was a bloody genius.
When Sirius returned to Hogwarts, he dumped his rings in his trunk. He thought of all the times Remus had flinched away, his shoulders curling inward like he was bracing for something worse. If something as small as the lack of his rings could make him feel safe, Sirius could live without them.
He was the first one to reach their dorm. With a huge smile on his face, he yeeted the door open. “Heya, there I am again. Without rings.” Only then, he really looked, and saw Remus sound asleep on his bed. His face was white as a sheet. Sirius neared him, feeling his forehead.
“No fever,” he told James who looked as worried as Sirius felt. “Kinda cold, really.”
Remus must have had another flare up from his sickness. But why was he here if he still was so sick? James tried to convince him to let Remus sleep in peace, but Sirius couldn’t let his friend lie here alone when he looked so vulnerable. So James and Peter left, and Sirius kept seated on Remus’ bed.
He had never been so close to Remus before. He noticed that his right arm had a scar from his thumb to his elbow. Remus had more scars. Sirius knew he was self conscious about it, he always avoided questions about them and changed in private, but he thought they looked cool. Chaotic, like he was one with some kind of force of nature. Way better than the thin lines covering his sides. Nevertheless, he was curious where they came from. Could it be his sickness?
His gaze lifted to his face. Surprised, he saw Remus still had freckles. Sirius had thought they had disappeared with the summer, but they were still there, only much tinier.
Remus' nose was slightly crooked to the left, a little lump on it’s bridge. Before Sirius knew it, his finger was following the curve of Remus’ nose. The lump felt solid. What did Remus do outside of school? Was he a fighter, did he live in an unsafe neighborhood?
Sirius knew it wasn’t his concern, but he couldn’t picture it. Remus struggled somedays to reach their tower, he wouldn’t get into fights with that health. On top of that, Remus always was the one to tone down their pranks to rational levels. He was way too soft to get into fights.
Absentmindedly, Sirius had started tracing Remus’ features. He was surprised by how soft his skin was. He traced his cheekbones, his eyebrows.
He was startled when Remus' face moved. His nose scrunched up to get rid of the tickling feeling on the tip of his nose. Sirius quickly retracted his hand and watched how Remus woke up. Watery eyes blinked a few times before settling on Sirius. A stressed look took over his face.
Sirius held up his hands with a smile. “No rings, it’s all good.” That seemed to confuse Remus, then the stress was back, which quickly became panic. Sirius frowned, what was wrong.?
“How…” started Remus. Fully awake now, Remus sat upright. “I figured you must have some kind of silver allergy,” Sirius explained. “The rings, right? You never dare to come close, but when I didn’t wear them you touched me.”
Remus stared at him, eyes unfocused as if he was not really there, jaw clenched. Maybe it would make it worse, but Sirius put his hand on Remus’. “I won’t tell anyone. I mean, I don’t know why you hide it, but you must have a good reason for it.”
At that, Remus seemed to get back. “You don’t-“ Remus stopped himself.
Sirius shrugged. “It’s a rare allergy, but it can be worse, right? Imagine being allergic to water, or the sun.”
Remus smiled softly at that. “Yeah,” he muttered. “You’re the first one to ever- I thought they would think I was a freak.”
Sirius snorted. “For an allergy? Remus, I live in a family known for the hereditary ‘Black famlily madness’, I think I’ll manage.”
Remus didn’t seem convinced. “You won’t tell anyone?”
Sirius felt guilty when Remus looked at him with his big brown eyes. He retracted his hand, runned it through his hair. “James and Peter know,” he admitted.
Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Could have guessed that.” He luckily didn’t appear to be angry. “Maybe for the best. Just be sure they don’t tell anyone, not even Lily.”
Sirius nodded and stood up. “Of course, yes!”
Awkward, he hopped from foot to foot. “Bad one?”
Remus smiled tiredly. “Yeah, best if I go back to sleep.”
Sirius picked up his wand, which had fallen from his pocket on Remus’ bed. “Yeah, probably. You want me to bring you some food?” Remus was never hungry after a flare up, but he needed the energy. “Oh, do you want an extra blanket? You can have mine until tonight, you seemed cold.”
Remus yawned. “I’m good, thanks. I'm colder than most people anyway, a symptom. Food would be nice though.”
Sirius walked to the door. “You got it! Sleep well Remus.” But Remus had closed his curtains already.
Sirius consulted his friends silently back in the common room. He would stop wearing his rings until they had a solution of course, but there had to be a better option. Gold jewellery, although his mother would hex him because of that fashion choice. He could transform his rings to another material that looked silver, but they didn’t know how to do that. All that wouldn’t stop the danger Remus had every day.
There must be a solution. Some kind of shield against the silver. Sirius didn’t know how Remus’ body reacted to silver, important to know how to prevent it, but he was sure some invisible barrier would help anyway.
It became Sirius’ personal project. James wanted to help him, but James could do anything, and Sirius wanted to do this himself. To show Remus that he was a good friend, that he cared. So he researched everything he could about protecting spells. In duels, for food, for belongings you wanted to keep safe. He asked the nicest looking sixth year he could find to show him some of them, but he ended up none the wiser.
Funny enough, it was his cousin Narcissa that helped him out in the end. He had been invited for tea in the Slytherin common room for a family gathering. It wasn’t the first time, undoubtedly set up by his mother to keep an eye on him. It always was just as stiff and awkward as the ones at home were.
Bellatrix and Narcissa were talking about marrying, something Sirius didn’t want to think about for the next decade, and slowly had drifted off to the topic of children. Apparently, Narcissa had done quite the research on the subject. She was lecturing Bellatrix on how important it was for a child to grow up in a safe environment.
Bellatrix was protesting passionately, saying that children should be challenged when they were young, to make sure they were ready for real life. She looked rather scary, with her black curled hair sticking out to all sides, a sadistic grin on her mouth.
Sirius kept quiet, safer that way. Until Narcissa started to talk about a spell to keep children from getting bruises when they fell. As casually as he could, he asked where she had read that, resulting in a harsh “Why do you care?” from Bellatrix.
But Narcissa, who had cured several bruised knees from her little cousins to prevent their mother from finding out, smiled sweetly at him. While Bellatrix was going off about how he always had to stick his nose into others' business, Narcissa nodded at him. Sirius smiled thankfully. Bellatrix didn’t notice anything, already ranting about what a failure he was for the family.
Sirius excused himself and returned to his friends. He sent Narcissa a charmed flower to thank her when he found an old book on his bed that night, including a note simply saying ‘Page 243’ signed with a simplified version of a daffodil.
The spell was far more complicated than anything Sirius had learned before, and at the end of the week, his legs were full of bruises from trying if the spell worked. But at last he managed it. The problem was that the spell only activated when the smack was hard enough. He somehow had to change that to it being activated by silver. He and the other boys had crafted some spells already, but that had only been some merging, or changing of the impact. Not this.
A month and a half later, Sirius had a severe lack of sleep. Everyone thought he acted weird, retreating to a silent corner when he was free instead of doing dumb stuff with his friends. Although James and Peter knew what he was up to, they loved to tease him about it. “Planning to rewrite the entire spellbook, Black?” Sirius had just huffed.
“He’s trying to impress Lupin, James. To keep up with us,” Peter had quipped. Sirius's only answer had been his middle finger.
Remus, however, didn’t know what he was up to and had asked him yesterday if he really was feeling well. Sirius had laughed it off, saying that Remus could ask him again when he had some color in his face again. Remus had had a flare up again. They seemed kind of regular, almost the same time every month. When they asked Remus about it, he just shrugged, answering it must be a coincidence.
To answer Remus' question, Sirius felt ecstatic. He had found a solution, he was sure of it. It had been tricky to test whether it really worked, so he had dipped a silver chandler from the common room in ink. If his fingers weren’t stained in ink after he touched it, the spell must be working, right? He only hoped Remus would want to do some testing.
When Sirius approached his friend in the common room with a huge grin on his face, Remus grunted. “Whatever you want to ask, the answer is no.”
Sirius pouted and sat down in front of him on the little table. “You-” he pointed to Remus in emphasis, “will regret saying that. And you don’t mean it anyways, you love to indulge me.”
Despite all Sirius’ research, he had made it a mission to spend more time with Remus, now the boy finally dared to come near him. Their friendship was much stronger now. Remus rolled his eyes and lifted his legs from the sofa, turning so he was facing him. “Well, spit it out.”
Sirius smiled. “Yes, right.” He took his wand from his pocket, suddenly nervous. “I- uh. I didn’t mean to overstep, so please don’t take it that way.”
Remus nodded, clearly confused. “Well, I- well I noticed avoiding silver must be kinda hard for you, seeming it is nearly everywhere you look.” Sirius fiddled with the wand in his hand, searching Remus’ eyes for a sign this was unwanted. But Remus mostly seemed curious.
“So I though, what if there was a spell to protect you from it? Then I started searching, but it didn’t exist. Which is really dumb because you can’t be the only one who’s allergic to something touchable, but anyways. Then I started searching for somewhere to begin, and my cousin Narcissa mentioned a spell to protect someone from getting bruised, which is not exactly the same but good enough, so I tried some things, and I think I managed to make the spell good enough that it makes you unable to touch silver. It creates a barrier in between your hand and the silver. I don’t know how often you have to redo it and if it really works but I just wanted to do something for you and-” Sirius stopped rambling when he saw Remus’ face. His eyes were big as plates, his mouth a little open, cheeks pink.
Sirius deflated. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep or embarrass you. I know you can handle it on your own, I just wanted to help.”
Remus woke up from his daze. “What? No, no, that’s not it, I-” Remus hid his face in his hands. “I can’t believe-” His voice was hoarse. “You made a spell for me? To help me?”
Sirius didn’t understand. Why wouldn’t he? Remus struggled with it, they were friends, if he could help he would. “Well, yeah. That’s what friends are for Remu.”
Remus was still hiding in his hands, shoulders shaking a little. “You good Remus? Can you look at me?” Sirius had suspected Remus was crying, but he was still shocked when he met Remus’ red eyes. His heart clenched.
Overcome with the need to comfort his friend, Sirius crouched before him. “Hey, I’m sorry if I did something to make you upset. I really didn’t mean to.” He held out his hand for Remus to take if he wanted to. Remus sniffed while he hesitantly eyed Sirius’ hand.
“No, they’re-” he avoided eye contact “happy tears.” He retracted his hand, which had slowly been creeping to Sirius’ offered one. “I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing.”
Sirius shaked his head. He had never heard about happy tears, but he chose to believe his friend. “Don’t be, I’m glad you’re happy about it.” He gestured to the empty seat next to Remus. “Do you mind if I?” A simple headshake was enough, making Sirius spring up and settle next to Remus, shoulders touching.
Remus was still fighting the tears. “I just can’t- nobody has ever-” Sirius took Remus' hand. “Then anybody else is an asshole. I did it for you, because I wanted to.” He squeezed Remus' hand. “Yes?” Remus nodded.
“Alright, let’s get to it then,” Sirius exclaimed. He almost skipped to their dorm, hands still entwined.
Sirius ordered Remus to sit down when they were in their dorm. “I don’t know what your symptoms are when you touch it, and it can be the spell doesn’t fully work yet, but I can keep working on it to perfect it.”
He held up two objects. “We can test big or small, your choice.” Remus pointed to Sirius’ ring, so Sirius set the chandler down.
“I think it's best when we test somewhere not too visible. The symptoms are not nice to see.” Remus seemed embarrassed, but Sirius was practically glowing from excitement and wanted him to be as comfortable as possible.
“Of course, of course, so where?” Remus thought for a moment. “Uh, my inner upper arm?” Before Sirius could answer, Remus had gotten rid of his jumper.
Sirius sat down next to him. “Alright, I will cast the spell first.” He softly took Remus’ arm and performed the spell. Then, he took the ring.
“Do you want to do it or-” He frowned when he realised what he asked. Remus snorted. “Merlin, I’m such a moron.”
He held up the ring. “There we go.” With that, he pressed the underside of the ring as softly as he could to Remus’ skin. The boy flinched and retreated faster than Sirius could blink.
Sirius looked down on the ring. “I’m so sorry,” he said disappointed. “I really thought-”
“It worked,” interrupted Remus, astonished.
Sirius looked up. “But you?”
Remus showed his arm. “Nothing, see? I still felt it, but there is nothing on my skin.” They looked each other in the eye. Remus had a huge smile on his face and Sirius couldn’t help but copy it.
“I still can’t believe-” Remus shut up when he saw Sirius’ face. “Thank you so much Sirius.”
Sirius opened his arms. “Come here you.” Remus shuffled to him, Sirius threw away the ring, and they hugged. When Remus began to cry again, Sirius promised him to tell nobody while he runned his hand through his friends hair, which was way more fluffy than Sirius had imagined, in a soothing gesture.
He loved hugging Remus. Hugging felt different with every person, but he and Remus seemed to slot together perfectly.
Sirius taught Remus how to perform the spell. It was a difficult one, but Remus was a gifted wizard, even better at charms than Sirius, so he managed quickly enough. Sirius knew for sure the spell worked for a week, and it was easy to apply to a whole body.
Now that Sirius had finished his main goal, he was far less withdrawn, but he still could be found often in the library. Remus almost seemed as if he was burned when he touched the ring. Sirius thought that was a weird symptom, but he was not one to judge, only here to fix.
To fix, that should not be too difficult. If Remus could still feel the silver somehow through the barrier, the barrier just needed to be thicker.
It was bloody difficult. Sirius couldn’t see the barrier, how could he know whether the barrier had grown? In the end, after almost letting the chandler explode in the middle of the night, he decided he just had to test it again.
To do that, he asked Remus not to perform the spell again. His poor friend was tired. He just came back from the infirmary and Sirius hesitated to do it now, he didn’t want to hurt Remus when he was so vulnerable.
Remus however was already sitting upright. “Now is as good as ever. I will be fine.”
In the end, Sirius only agreed to still do it because Remus threatened to come and get him himself, and Sirius had seen how much energy it had already cost to sit upright.
“Let me just-” Sirius stopped Remus from getting rid of his jumper. “No way. You’ve been shivering all the time I’ve been here and you’re as pale as a ghost.”
“So what?” Remus shot back, his voice low but firm. “I can handle it. I’ve handled worse.” Remus’ tired eyes were determined.
"Just- can’t we use your under arm? Please?” Remus groaned, but rolled up his sleeve and offered the inside of his arm. Sirius hesitated, his fingers tightening around the cool metal of the ring. What if this didn’t work? What if he hurt Remus again? The moment Sirius’ ring touched his skin, Remus gasped.
Oh, no. Not again. He’d been so sure this time, and now he’d hurt Remus again. Sirius felt his stomach drop, already stumbling through an apology.
When Remus took the ring out of his hand, Sirius’ breath catched in his throat. “Remus what?!”
He was met with a huge smile. “I can touch it Sirius!” Remus was fiddling with the ring, tracing it over his hand, his arm. “It feels warm, but in a good way. Like- uh.” Remus was trying the ring, with Sirius’ constellation, on. It ended up on his pinky, and it still didn’t really fit.
“It feels warm, but in a good way. Like- uh, like holding a cup of tea, really. Or holding hands.” His pinky finger wiggled. “It’s really perfect, thank you so much!”
Sirius discovered he really loved Remus’ smile. He taught Remus the spell.
After that, James barged in. “Come on lads, time to set off some dungbombs!” He cast a glance at them sitting on the bed, on Remus’ pinky, and grinned. “Never doubted you could manage it, Siri!” Sirius rolled his eyes, but smiled proudly.
James dismissed it after that, Remus, nevertheless, kept smiling the rest of the day every time he looked at his hand.
Sirius couldn’t help but watch, warmth blooming in his chest. He’d thought nothing could top the thrill of perfecting the spell, but seeing Remus smile like that... it was better than any praise he’d ever gotten.
There was only one more problem. Sirius missed his rings, but he didn’t know if it was insensitive to start wearing them again now that Remus had the protecting spell. His friend had returned the ring and they hadn’t talked about it after that.
One night in the commonroom, Lily Evans of all people commented on it. It was probably an attempt to ignore James. Whatever her motivation was, Sirius was distracted from his last minute essay by her question.
“Ay, Sirius, where have your rings gone? You wore them everyday until christmas and then suddenly you didn’t. If you don’t like them anymore, can I buy those star ones from you?” Sirius blinked a few times, registering what she was asking. He glanced at Remus, who was staring down at his book.
“Bad luck Evans. I still want them, they just irritated my skin a little so I decided to stop wearing them for a while,” he lied.
Remus went to bed early that evening and Sirius followed him as soon as he could because of the meaningful glance the boy had given him. “What's up Lupin?”
Remus was lying down on his bed, head buried on his pillow. “You can wear them again, with the spell.”
Sirius was confused. “But what if the spell stops working? Won’t it bother you when we touch?” Sirius liked his new, much more affectionate friendship with Remus very much. He was afraid Remus would start avoiding him again if he wore his rings again.
“Silver feels kinda nice now.” Sirius blinked at him, tilting his head. That wasn’t the answer he’d expected. Remus was facing the other wall.
Sirius moved to the other side of the bed, trying to catch Remus’ eye, but Remus turned his head away. “So it won’t bother me.”
Sirius smiled. “Alright then, but really don’t forget to refresh the spell every week.”
Remus chuckled at that. “What?” Remus turned to face him, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Your spell works for a month, little genius.”
He could feel his ears turning red. “How do you know?”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Tested it, ‘course.”
Sirius nodded, a little confused. Had Remus not trusted him? Or did he trust him too much? “Of course.”
The original spell worked for two weeks.
“Go adorn your babyfingers,” Remus said with a smirk, wiggling his own fingers for emphasis. Sirius gasped dramatically, clutching his hand like it had been insulted “I do not have babyfingers!”
“Even Marlene’s fingers are bigger than yours,” Remus smirked.
“Excuse me?! You take that back!” They both burst out laughing.
Sirius put on his rings again. He had missed their familiar weight.
In the weeks that followed, Sirius was surprised by how touchy Remus had become. He would just sit down next to him, take his hand and start tracing its lines, lingering twice as long on the ones adorned with rings. Sometimes, he’d follow all the lines on his signet ring, murmuring something about warmth.
Sirius didn’t know which warmth he meant, but he allowed it all, sticking out his tongue to James and Peter when they wiggled their eyebrows in his direction.
He enjoyed Remus’ affection, relished in the warm feeling in his chest.
His fears had been for nothing, if anything, he had more of Remus’ attention now than ever before.