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The place was full and when I say full, I mean full of people. Staff, artists, trainees, among other people were grouped together in a constant chaos.
For his part, Gihyeon always stayed in the same corner of his dressing room, away from all the commotion and people. He could try to socialize like his other group mates were doing, but he wasn't as confident in his Chinese; he had learned just a couple of complex words and sentences from Lin and Bingfan, and he still remained doubtful that most of them weren't somewhat offensive. Besides, he was fine in his own doing really important and interesting things.
...Okay, maybe not that important, but really, really interesting.
“Hyeon!” Junpyo shouted as he approached him.
Gihyeon took his eyes off the screen just for a few seconds to see him approaching him.
“Pyo, is something wrong?” he asked.
“I'm trying to locate everyone as a precaution,” he replied, referring to the rest of the group by ‘everyone’ “By the way, do you know where Lin might be? I thought he'd be here to, you know, watch his boyfriend rehearse,” he consulted, pointing to the device next to them.
“I understand your logic in believing he'd be here, but if you know how whipped he is for Anxin you would have guessed he's outside to, and I quote, ‘get a closer view of him’” he explained, making quotation marks with his fingers as he continued to watch the screen.
That did not go unnoticed by Junpyo. That television was one of the many that were in the dressing rooms to control how the cameras would work at the time of the concert, which was only a few days away. Right now they were rehearsing the special cover of ENHYPEN's ‘Fever’, performed by two of the CEG seeds. That very detail gave him a clue as to why Gihyeon was so interested in watching the rehearsal.
“... He dances very well, doesn't he?” he opined, with his hands on his waist and his eyes on the screen.
“Yes... Very good...” he answered vaguely, without even turning to look at him.
A smile formed on his lips at the answer as he rested his eyes on him. He never specified who he was talking about, and yet Gihyeon's head had already assumed who it was.
“And he is exceptionally in control of his facial expressions.”
“Aha...”
There was a short silence between the two, being filled by the voices outside the dressing room and the sound of music. It was obvious that he wasn't paying attention to him, but he decided to check it out in a better way when a certain person appeared on the screen.
“Is it my idea or did he get better looking since the show?” he asked.
“Uh... Maybe... He always was, though,” he answered, gawking at the screen.
“That's true. Especially in the final song...”
“Yes, in Higher Wire...”
“Higher Wire?” he looked confused, as if he hadn't expected that “but Anxin was in Make It Bounce...” he added.
For the first time Gihyeon turned completely around to look at him. His face took on a reddish color at great speed, feeling completely exposed. Next to him, the song was finishing playing and the ending fairy of the two boys who were performing was approaching.
Junpyo averted his gaze to the TV when Jiahao appeared again, avoiding laughing.
“Oh... You thought I was talking about him,” he said, pointing at the screen. He couldn't hold back a sly grin as he noticed his embarrassment.
“Uh... I...” he began to stutter. His gaze was progressively lowering without him noticing it himself.
He tried to form some sentence that could justify it, but his head was completely blank; it was as if he had already given up and accepted his fate of having been caught appreciating something he shouldn't have.
Correction, he didn't want.
Junpyo's eyes on him seemed to be pressing on him, suffocating him, although the contrary was just laughing at the absurdity of the situation... Although he was also certainly curious about his reaction, why so much secrecy?
In the middle of all the silence a sigh from him caught Gihyeon's attention again. He sounded sympathetic somehow.
How strange.
“Come on, make room for me,” he asked, motioning him to step aside.
He moved to the end of the sofa, leaving him half free. Junpyo sat down beside him and sighed again.
“What's wrong, pyo?” he curiously cocked his head to one side.
“What's wrong with you?” he returned the question, leaving him more confused “Ever since we arrived you've been acting strange around Jiahao. You avoid him, you walk away and just gawk at him...” he recapitulated.
His cheeks tinged more visibly and he felt his whole body shrink in place.
“Did something happen between you two? There are some problems?” he questioned, leaning toward him “Because if so I'd like to try to help if I can. It shows in your eyes that you love him very much and...” the way Gihyeon let the air out of his lungs made him pause. It was melancholy, regretful.
He shook his head, as if that would give him the answer he was looking for. As Junpyo didn't answer, he had to take the courage to look him in the eyes and try to tell, in the briefest and least detailed way possible, what was happening to him.
“I... We do not have any problems... Or so I want to believe,” he clarified.
“Then why are you avoiding him?” he insisted.
“Uh...” he wiped the sweat from his hands with the fabric of his pants and forced himself not to look away again “... I have doubts about how he feels about me” he answered, with his leg doing that nervous twitch that wouldn't let him stay still “It's been a long time since the final and in all that time we haven't communicated, you know? And I don't know if he feels the same as before...” he tried to explain.
Junpyo seemed to take a few seconds to decode what he said.
“Oh, okay. Complicated thing,” was his only response. Gihyeon gave a small nod at his words “And... Don't you want to talk it over with him?” Gihyeon shook his head again.
“Not really... I'd rather stay in doubt than seek the truth and find out something I don't want to,” he answered, sincere. His countenance, a few moments ago happy, was now characterized by a sad grimace.
He had not noticed when he had put his feet up on the couch, nor when he began to hug his knees to hide his face. He was just looking to disappear; he didn't like to talk about that situation because he knew he was a coward and was afraid of being judged for it.
However, none of that happened. He felt Junpyo's hand rest on his knee and caress it sympathetically.
“I won't tell you to do it, because that's up to you... But if I were you I would do it,” he said, his tone of voice softer than before “Think of it this way: We don't know if this is the last time in a long time that you'll be able to have him around to talk to... Maybe there are still remnants of a spark in him and you manage to reactivate it with just a few words,” he suggested.
Gihyeon barely raised his head to look at him, but he bit his lip and preferred not to say anything. He was right, and he had thought about it before, but he couldn't muster the courage to speak to him or even deign to look him in the eyes when he passed by, knowing full well that his gaze would follow him all over the place until he left his field of vision.
“I'll think about it,” he murmured to leave him alone. He seemed to have succeeded since the smile he gave him did not show distrust in his words.
“Well,” he got up from the sofa with a bang “In the meantime, I'll continue my mission to find Lin. I don't think it will be so difficult now,” he said before leaving for the dressing room door.
He watched him with a smile until he left, and quickly his countenance changed to a sadder one. His eyes went back to the TV, as if searching for Jiahao's image again, but it was gone. He sighed in surrender and leaned his whole body back on the couch, thinking it would be good to use the time he had until it was their turn to rehearse to rest.
——————
He thought that the same daily scandal was going to go on all week, even on the day of the show. Fortunately he was wrong, and after the encore and almost all the audience had left the stadium he and the rest of the members were able to get off the stage and go straight to the dressing room where they should change and grab all their stuff to head to the hotel.
Gihyeon had already packed all his belongings and the extra time he was supposed to use to rest while the rest of them finished and went to the van, he ended up using it to argue with Lin.
“Please, Hyeon!” he asked, putting his hands together in front of his face “Cover me this time!
They were both outside the dressing room so the manager wouldn't hear them. It was clearly Lin's idea.
“I've been covering for you all week!” he exclaimed in response. He wasn't upset, but he knew it wasn't the right thing to do and he didn't want him to get in trouble for disobeying “What do we do if the manager notices you're gone? Or if someone sees you leaving with the seeds?” he asked.
“Pff, don't worry about that,” he waved his hand, taking the weight off the situation “I'm going to keep my face well covered so I don't get caught, and to be honest it's hard for them to notice there's one less,” he raised his shoulders.
“And where do I stand if they find out you're gone and I helped cover for you?” he folded his arms and leaned his back against the wall.
“Why would you tell them you're covering for me?” he asked, frowning “Ah, Hyeon, what a bad survival instinct you have,” he reached out to pat him on the shoulder a couple of times.
Gihyeon fell silent and took a deep breath. Ah, this child...
“So...” Lin pricked his bubble of serenity, giving him a convincing smile “Can I go with Anxin?” he insisted.
He looked down the hallway on both sides, making sure no one was near them. He looked back at the boy and let out an exhausted sigh before slowly nodding his head, drawing an even bigger smile from him. Lin was quick to jump in for a hug, and he gladly accepted the embrace.
“But you better hope you don't get caught!” he exclaimed, threateningly.
“Yes, sir. Don't worry. They'll never see me pass,” he assured, separating from him.
After that he began to walk away down the hallway before he changed his mind, hopping merrily until he turned a corner. That detail endeared him to Gihyeon, who couldn't hold back a few giggles. He continued to stand in the hallway for a while longer, using his cell phone while still hearing the bustle inside the dressing room. He broke away from the wall once he was ready to go back inside, but he didn't count on the door opening at that very moment and the staff starting to come out along with the rest of the members.
“Okay, so...” his manager stopped for a moment when he saw the six of them together “Wait a minute, what about Lin? I thought he was with you, Gihyeon,” he asked, looking down the hallway for him.
“He, uh... He's already gone to the van!” he exclaimed, trying to hide a nervous laugh “Yes, that's it! It's just that he was already sleepy and preferred to wait for us there,” he explained.
He swallowed as he felt his manager's eyes scanning his words, judging him. Finally he lifted his shoulders as if it wasn't important that one of the members was missing and with a gesture with his hand he indicated them to follow him.
The group started walking towards the exit. Gihyeon, who was putting on his mask and adjusting his cap, was behind the whole line just with Junpyo and Hyunjun. The latter turned to look at him with a playful smile.
“Anxin?” he asked, referring to Lin's whereabouts.
Even with his mouth covered it was clear that Gihyeon was smiling in an obvious way. He stepped forward just so he could speak more closely to them.
“I don't even know why you're asking...” he replied, not needing to add more words to make his answer understood. They both shared complicit laughter afterwards “That boy, ah, he's quite a case,” he rolled his eyes.
“He's a teenager in love, Hyeon, of course he's going to want to be glued to his boyfriend all the time,” he argued.
“I don't know how he's going to do when we go back to Korea and have to go back to the dorms,” he crossed his arms, still keeping his smile.
“He's going to do the same thing you're going to do when you can't see Jiahao as often anymore,” that innocent sounding comment coming from Hyunjun's mouth had managed to turn the mood completely upside down.
Gihyeon's walk slowed down and his chinstrap could barely cover the change in his expression from amused to more agitated. It didn't help matters that Junpyo, who was walking alongside Hyunjun, turned to give him a quick glance. Surely he had indeed noticed his sudden state.
“Ah, about that,” Hyunjun spoke again, who seemed not to have finished exposing him “I don't know if it's my idea or what, but I haven't seen you interacting much with Jiahao these days... At least not as much as I would have expected,” he commented, scratching his chin “Is everything okay with you two?”
He felt his mouth go dry, not letting him speak. He could barely let out an awkward chuckle as his gaze began to avoid them again.
“We? Obviously, everything's perfect! It's just... We're more private and cautious than Anxin and Lin, you know?” he lied. He wanted to scratch the back of his neck to ease his nerves, but avoided doing so to avoid arousing suspicion.
There was a short silence between the two, making him more anxious.
“... Yes, that makes sense,” Hyunjun stammered, turning around and facing forward.
Gihyeon let all the air out of his lungs as a sigh. The direction of the conversation and the fresh air of the parking lot had robbed him of any trace of sleep. He was relieved that he had been able to end that conversation as soon as possible and stop thinking about that topic.
The van was soon nearby and it wasn't long before the six of them (seven if you count the manager) got in. Gihyeon, as usual, went to one of the seats in the back facing the window and finally took off his chinstrap. The night was clear and there were hardly any stars, which looked like small brushstrokes on a vast canva. Somehow looking at the sky had brought him some peace and he even allowed himself to start smiling.
However, the presence of a person next to him brought him out of his calm state. He closed his eyes tightly and wished for the world's sake that he wouldn't open his mouth. He didn't need to turn around to see who it was, because it was more than obvious and above all, it was obvious why he had sat next to him.
Through the reflection of the window he could see Junpyo's face, looking at him with his characteristic calm air.
“So... I'm not the only one who noticed,” he spoke, clicking his tongue at the end.
“Pyo, don't start...” he asked, knowing where the conversation was headed.
“I wasn't going to start anything,” he defended himself “After all, you know how I feel about your behavior on the subject...”
He bit his lip and slowly turned to him, looking for a hint of sympathy. Junpyo, on the other hand, did not seem to change his stance.
“I'm still not convinced with your plan to ignore it,” he added.
Gihyeon let out a frustrated sigh and leaned his back fully back in the seat. Good thing he didn't want to start anything, huh.
“It's not a plan, Pyo... It's the only thing I can do to protect myself,” he muttered in an almost unintelligible whisper. He even noticed that Junpyo had to lean a little closer to him to hear him “Every time I think about the situation of hearing him say how he doesn't feel anything for me anymore my stomach clenches and I feel like throwing up... It almost happened to me once,” he confessed, remembering how he spent five minutes kneeling against the toilet because he could feel that horrible taste in his throat, though nothing came out in the end.
He swallowed saliva to get the bad memory out and leaned his head against the window, hoping that maybe the coldness of the glass would help him cool his thoughts. As he did this he could feel the vibrations of the van as they drove through the night.
Junpyo's gaze kept pressing against his back. It was like a constant reminder of what he was: a coward.
“... Do you know what I would think if I were Hao?” his gaze was now on the ceiling, as if there was something interesting to see.
Gihyeon, caught off guard by the question, turned to look at him curiously.
“What would you think?”
Junpyo took his time to answer.
“...If I were him, I would think you no longer love me,” his tone was soft, but his words were harsh. His eyes slid to him and his reaction was clearly sad “I mean, you can tell that Jiahao has been trying to talk to you by all means, but you just avoid him and...”
“Junpyo, please,” he asked, tired of being scolded.
The boy watched him for a few more seconds before grabbing his cell phone and playing. Finally he had managed to put an end to the conversation, and a definitive one because they did not resume it again during the whole trip, or when they got out of the van, or even in the elevator, from which they got out maintaining the complicit silence and listening to the exhausted chatter of the rest.
Even if his task had been accomplished, Gihyeon could still feel the pressure in his chest; regret was gradually reaching every fiber of his body, and he had to fight with all his might against that treacherous feeling not to run and go find him and beg him through tears of shame to say that he loves him.
He felt more relieved when he reached the handle of his room. He took the card out of his pocket and swiped it through the latch, waiting for the “beep” that told him he could now open the door. He entered and the first thing he noticed were the lights off, which let him know that Lin had not yet arrived at the dormitory.
Sharing a room with Lin wasn't bad: since it was a room for two, they had to use a double bed and since he was so small, he almost didn't notice it when they slept. He only did so when they woke up and he realized that Lin was hugging him, which made him melt with tenderness between the sheets.
He put on his pajamas under the candlelight, which was quite dim. Before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and do other things he should do, he took the opportunity to take out of his suitcase the clothes he would wear tomorrow and put the used ones away. He didn't close it later because tomorrow he would have to open it again to put his pajamas.
Leaving the bathroom, he untangled his hair with his hand and his eyes were already completely closed by the time he opened the sheets. Finally he lay down, letting out a mumble at ease as he felt his body sink into the mattress. He pulled the covers up to his neck and began to try to travel to dreamland. He left the candle lit beside him so that his companion could see in the dark and turn it off when he arrived.
His breathing grew quieter as the minutes passed. In the background there was a symphony of laughter, chatter and doors opening and closing. That noise was soon joined by his own door, which, unlike on other occasions, was opened more gently. Lin's light footsteps were heard on the bedroom carpet and seemed unwilling to wake him.
Something about that gentleness missed him in a way; Lin, as the teenager he still was, used to be very carefree and live carefree. Instead, now he seemed more cautious.
“Maybe it's because of sleep” thought Gihyeon, unwilling to speak, he kept his eyes closed and tried to ignore the presence of his opponent.
He heard him approaching to where he was, probably to turn off the light. However, that didn't happen; he felt him pause his movements for a second before resting his fingertips on his hand carefully, as if he was thinking something. The sudden warm contact confused him even more, but not in a bad way. An amused smile escaped his lips and he could no longer continue his snoozing act.
“Ah, Hanzhongie~” he called out to him, laughing “What's wrong?” he took his hand and intertwined their fingers as a joke.
That simple action of him instantly wiped off his smile and forced him to open his eyes. Not only did he realize that that hand did not belong to Lin, since his hand was small with short fingers and this one was bigger and had long, slender fingers, but he instantly recognized whose hand it was.
His breath hitched and he broke his grip in surprise.
“What are you doing here?” he asked in his agitated voice, sitting up quickly on the bed as if trying to get away from him.
At the foot of the bed, Jiahao was illuminated by the warm light of the lamp and looked at him as if he were an abandoned dog in the rain; his big eyes were full of sadness.
“Uh, Lin... Lin asked me if he could stay in my room to be with Anxin and gave me the key to his room for me to come,” he explained, averting his gaze.
He extended Lin's card to him to make his alibi truthful. Gihyeon, still shaking with nerves, took it carefully not to brush against his hand and placed it on the bedside table. The atmosphere between them was dense and almost suffocating, which managed to warm him up despite the low temperatures outside.
“I didn't know you and Hanzhong shared a room,“ he commented, in an attempt to break the silence “I, uh... I think I should go...” he began to carefully get up from the bed.
Gihyeon stared at him; his head was an endless void and he didn't know what to do.
“... Wait,” The words escaped his mouth almost by accident, just as his hand raised in his direction was a reflex action. Jiahao turned to look him in the face and he, who had been seeking his gaze before, now ducked his head “... You can stay if you like,” he said, his heart beating a mile a minute.
He knew Jiahao was still watching him, but he still couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with him. Not after everything that's happened....
“Are you sure?” he didn't quite trust his word. He probably thought he was just being polite.
No.
“Yes,” he nodded his head.
By keeping his gaze down he could still see Jiahao's body standing in the same place. Without a word, he walked to the opposite side of the bed and Gihyeon let out all the air he had accumulated to release the tension in his body. He reached over to turn off the candle himself and settled back between the sheets, his back to him.
He felt the mattress sink in on the other side, letting him know there was no turning back. Sleep had slipped away from him like it was nothing, but he tried to sleep anyway; tomorrow they had a long day of travel and more. Besides, he wanted to leave in how he had gone from completely ignoring his mere existence to sharing a bed with him, despite the fact that they were both glued to each other's respective ends and tried to stay as far as possible from each other.
——————
The hum of the arid wind coming through the small opening of the window was mixed with the breathing of both boys, being the only remarkable sounds inside the room. As they had forgotten to close the curtains, the moonlight came through the glass and illuminated part of the bed.
Something began to move among the layers of warm clothes. It was Gihyeon, who was slowly waking up. He must have been dreaming something not too pleasant to come back from dreamland at that time of the morning.
His eyes opened very slowly; his head was still torn between sleep and wakefulness. Despite the coolness coming in his body remained warm, which brought a comfortable smile to his face.
It was that very quality that, as he became more aware of his surroundings, struck him as odd. He also began to notice how there was something firm around his body, which made him miss it even more. He blinked a couple of times to sharpen his vision and as he looked up he noticed how he was curled up against Jiahao, who had his arm around his waist.
“How the fuck did we get to this?” he wondered, panicking as he saw that he had his head resting against his chest and his legs were tangled in an affectionate way.
There was something so natural about the way they held each other, and that's what drove him to escape. No matter how much he tactfully stirred to get rid of him, every movement of his made him increase the grip of Jiahao's arm on him. It was as if his body was acting on its own instinct.
As the seconds passed his attempts grew weaker not only because he was realizing it wasn't working and Jiahao's arms were as close to quicksand as he could find, but his own body no longer seemed to want to flee and instead embraced that familiarity he missed without realizing it.
As his head continued to struggle with what to do a sudden sigh reached his ears. Exalted, he raised his gaze to the boy's face and watched as his delicate features twitched slightly. Probably all his fussing had woken him up somehow.
Jiahao yawned loudly and used his free arm to cover his mouth. Gihyeon, on the other hand, was petrified in place as he watched him turn to him and realize the situation at hand.
“Gihyeon?” he asked, carving one of his fingers with his fist.
“... I'm sorry if I woke you up,” he swallowed as he realized he was almost calling him ‘Hao’. He was still used to it “I don't know how we got into this, uh... I just...” he started moving again to free himself, this time being more subtle.
“Don't worry. It doesn't bother me at all” he shook his head. An electric current ran down Gihyeon's back, following the path of Jiahao's hand.
“Oh, okay...”
His struggling ceased again, though he doesn't know why. The two remained in the same position for what seemed like a lifetime. They each looked at different points in the room, but their gazes never collided. The silence between them was heavy, full of things they both wanted to say, but didn't seem to know how.
Finally it was Jiahao who spoke up.
“I missed being with you like this”
The sincerity in his voice hit him like a bucket of cold water and made his skin crawl. He took enough courage to lift his gaze and make eye contact with him for the first time since they set foot in the country. His eyes were filled with a melancholy and anguish that completely disarmed him.
“... Hao...” his name escaped his mouth accidentally. That whisper resembled a plea, as if he already knew what was to come.
Gihyeon remained static as he watched him turn around. They stood face to face in close proximity, but he dared not move away. Now, Jiahao's eyes shone hopefully, as if saying his name was all he would have had to have done to brighten his life.
“... I missed that too,” he murmured, smiling shyly.
“What? Me saying your name?” he asked, showing his confusion. Jiahao nodded his head.
“I don't know if you ever noticed, but when you say my name your voice changes... It becomes sweeter...” he explained, his eyes closing slightly “... That's very cute”
His face reddened instantly, and he could only cover it with both hands as he heard the laughter of his opponent. That adorable moment was followed by a suspicious silence that made him lower his hands to reconnect their gazes.
“And... Do you think we could talk about what's going on?” Jiahao decided to take the opportunity to face him directly.
That was another bucket of cold water. It was obvious that he was going to try to talk about it, but he still wasn't ready for him to be so direct.
“Uh... I don't know what you're talking about” his only recourse was to play dumb, which clearly wasn't working.
“You really don't know?” he raised an eyebrow and although that action was meant to be sarcastic Gihyeon found it too hot, damn “So you didn't notice that you've been avoiding me since we met again?” he asked.
Gihyeon shook his head slowly, in doubt of his own answer. He had to endure looking away when Jiahao let out a disappointed sigh.
“Come on, Gihyeon. Stop acting like a child and tell me why you're ignoring me,” his words stuck like thorns all over his body.
“Hao, I'm really not...”
“Don't say that anymore. I'm not an idiot, if that's what you think,” he interrupted him. His tone was harsh, but his face didn't show anger but rather... Anguish.
Finally he couldn't stand it and lowered his gaze, biting his lip as he held in the sadness. Yes, he deserved the scolding, but that didn't make it any less painful.
After that they fell into another tense silence. Both must have had much more to say, but neither seemed brave enough to be the first to speak.
A sigh from Jiahao caught his attention, but he still couldn't bring himself to look at him again.
“Sorry for answering like that, I... This is frustrating,” he apologized, bringing one of his hands up to run it through his hair and pull it back “I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'd like you to tell me. If I did something to you or...”
“Tell me you love me”
“I'm sorry?”
His answer caught him off guard. Gihyeon finally looked him in the eye, but he didn't hold on long before he covered his face again.
“I know we haven't spoken in many months...” he said, after a brief pause “But everything in my heart is exactly where you left it. Every moment we lived together, every word you said to make me nervous, all our kisses... Everything is still here, nothing has been erased” his cheeks turned red again as he touched his chest, right where his heart was “And I... I don't know how you feel and I was afraid to find out, you know? To face you and have you tell me that the distance has made your feelings for me change... I couldn't stand it” his head was sticking closer to the pillow unconsciously, trying to hold back the tears that were building up in his eyes “That's why I want you to say that you still love me, Hao. Even if it's a lie, I want you to say it,” he felt humiliated, but now that had to be the least of his worries.
His lips trembled as he tried to hold back the sobs in his throat. Tears slid down his cheeks slowly, glistening in the incoming moonlight. He closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing before it got out of control, but the opposing thumb wiping his cheek made him lose focus. When he opened them, Jiahao was waiting for him with a gentle expression.
“Gi... What isn't obvious?” he asked.
“The what?” he was thankful his voice didn't break at the end.
Jiahao moved a little closer, making his heart race.
“Since we arrived I've been looking for you; I've wanted to talk to you; I couldn't stop thinking about you...” he confessed, and his face seemed to get closer and closer to his “I haven't stopped loving you, Gihyeon, how could I? You're everything I've ever dreamed of and more, and nothing and no one can change that”.
The air escaped from his lungs as he listened to him. Everything around him seemed to have stopped. Those words were all he needed to hear after so long.
That silence that had formed was filled by their breaths that became more anxious the closer they got to each other. Neither could stop; neither wanted to stop.
And when they least expected it, their lips met in a soft kiss that held all the feelings they had kept in their hearts. Their eyes closed almost instantly, and their hands went to the other's pajama top to make sure that this was real and not just a dream. That he really was there.
Jiahao, on the other hand, slid his free hand to the back of his neck and dug his fingers into his hair, stroking it; his other hand, meanwhile, remained on his waist and grasped it firmly, pulling him to him. It was a possessive gesture, but full of affection, as if he was making sure he wasn't going to get away this time.
They gradually deepened the kiss, searching for each other like crazy. What started as a tender and shy touch soon turned into something more effusive and desperate. There was a great mixture of emotions that made them feel overwhelmed: relief, desire, fear, but love predominated.
When they parted they didn't bother to move far away from each other. They kept their foreheads pressed against each other as they gasped for air. Gihyeon was encouraged to open his eyes and instantly met Jiahao's, who had the biggest smile he had seen in a long time on his face.
“I love you,” was the first thing the other man murmured, making him smile immediately.
“I love you too,” he replied, and could not resist the urge to kiss him again.
He wrapped his hands around his neck and pulled his body to him, pulling them closer together. It was a burning, hungry kiss. Their lips moved in perfect synchrony, knowing that routine by heart.
Playfully Gihyeon used his tongue to outline his lips, asking his permission to make a mess of them both. Jiahao opened his mouth and gladly let him move forward, but not before taking advantage of the still stiff grip on his waist to shift position and let him sit on his lap, both of them being barely covered by the sheets.
The sound of their mouths clicking flooded the place along with their breaths, at the same time that a dirty game was unleashed between their tongues. As they continued kissing Jiahao's hands slid desperately up and down the part of Gihyeon's legs not covered by the shorts, making him gasp every now and then. His skin was prickling at the thought of what might happen next.
They parted again and Gihyeon took the moment to analyze Jiahao's state: his hair in disarray, his lips colored and slightly swollen, his eyes begging him to let him roam his body, his face being side-lit by the moon....
Fuck.
He didn't have time to say or do anything because he felt him begin to leave kisses down his neck, an area he knew was sensitive for him. He pulled his head back, giving him more room, and tangled his fingers in his hair.
“God, I've missed you so much,” he whispered against his skin “I don't know how I haven't gone crazy without you”
Every word sent an electric current down his back to his whole body, making him only gasp and nod in response. The contact between the two of them made him shiver anxiously, needing the night to move fast to peak.
“Please, hao~” he babbled, enjoying how his hands were sneaking under his t-shirt. He began to move his hips shamelessly, seeking to feel him despite the clothes.
“First you ignore me and then you come wanting to provoke me,” he whispered teasingly in his ear, helping him with his movements on his crotch “Who understands you, Noh Gihyeon?”
In response he only let out another gasp. The times they had become intimate Jiahao always behaved in a sweet and affectionate manner, and such a sudden change of attitude to a more dominant and teasing one was certainly working on him.
“Hao~” he could feel his dick getting hard under him.
As soon as he least expected it they were both bare-chested and their T-shirts were left forgotten on the floor. Gihyeon ran his hands all over Jiahao’s body, telling himself every now and then how much he had missed him and how many times they could have been like this if he hadn't been such a fucking coward. All criticism towards himself was clouded in his head as he felt Jiahao's teeth carelessly bite the skin of his chest several times, with clear intentions of leaving marks on him.
“Mgh, Hyung~” he groaned, throwing his head back.
Suddenly he stopped feeling his breath against his skin, which made him think he had pulled away. He lowered his head and searched his gaze, finding nothing but pure excitement in his eyes, which he liked, but it didn't clear his doubts.
“What's the matter?” he asked. His chest was rising and falling in an attempt to control his breathing.
“You called me Hyung,” he replied, his voice heavy with desire.
Gihyeon didn't quite understand why that could be a problem, until he remembered that they didn't use honorifics with each other; the first time they met and he called him “Hyung” he told him that he didn't have to, to treat him as if they were the same age. Later he had revealed to him that him using honorifics with him managed to generate something inside him.
And what things he generated, eh.
“Oh, really?” he pretended not to notice, leaning closer to him. He took one of his wrists and made him raise two fingers. He brought them to his lips, but did not put them in “Do you mind, Hyung?” asked flirtatiously. Then he stuck out his tongue and ran it shamelessly between his fingers, looking him in the eye as if he were challenging him.
He didn't have enough time to appreciate his reaction. Jiahao let go of him and pushed him hard enough to leave him lying on his back on his legs. He felt the air escape his lungs for a moment and when he lifted his head, his opponent was staring at him while keeping his fingers hooked in the elastic of his shorts.
He could feel the adrenaline coursing through his body as he pulled off his shorts and underwear in a single tug and left him completely naked in front of him. He let out a moan of pleasure and his lips quivered as he crossed glances with him again; he looked at him as if he were a hunter about to catch a helpless prey. It wasn't that far from the truth, for Gihyeon did feel completely helpless in front of him... And it was fantastic.
“On your knees,” he ordered, making a gesture with his finger for him to turn around.
The lust in his voice made him shiver. He nodded excitedly and in no time he was on his knees with his back to him. He rested his chest on the sheets, feeling down Jiahao's legs, and curved his back to lift his ass as high as possible. He turned his head back, looking sidelong at him over his shoulder and sketching his best teasing smile.
“Hyungie~” he gasped, blinking innocently and wiggling his hips to tempt him.
He clenched his fists into the sheets and squealed low as he felt a sharp slap on one of his cheeks. He closed his eyes and stretched further into him, as if his body was asking him to do it again.
“You seem to have become a brat these last few months...” he mumbled through his teeth before spreading his cheeks apart with both hands and spitting saliva near his hole “That’s what you are, Gihyeonie? A brat?”
“Mgh~! No! I...” his body trembled as he felt him play with his ass, squeezing and even biting it a couple of times “... Don't you like it, Hyungie? Don't you like it when I call you that, huh?” he whimpered, trying to provoke him more and bring out the worst in him.
“You know I do like it... And that's the problem,” he answered, using a little force to pull him closer and make him gasp from the movement “... First you make me crazy for not having you and now that you're here you want to make me crazy to dominate you completely... It's not fair, don't you think so?”
His breathing against his hole was making it difficult for him to think of a witty response. Anxious tears began to run down his cheeks. He wanted to scream at him to shut up and make him his for good, but nothing was coming out of his mouth. Or well, that was until a whimper escaped him as he ran his tongue over the same spot.
“Hyung! Mgh~” he whimpered.
“Do you think that's fair, Gihyeonie?” he asked, in a playful whisper.
Whatever answer he wanted to give him was interrupted by a squeal he let out as he felt him pull out to thrust his tongue into him. He clutched the sheets tighter and began to whimper in pleasure. Thus Jiahao began to thrust in and out of him repeatedly, penetrating him with the help of the grip on his waist. His eyesight blurred from crying; he could only murmur his name accompanied by pleas for more.
“More~ Mgh,” he tried to move backward to seek more contact, but his firm grip complicated his task.
Even though he couldn't see him he could imagine the way he was smiling at his condition. In a desperate move he pulled back the blanket beneath him and left the lower half of Jiahao's body uncovered. With what little strength he had he slid his clothes off just enough to free his cock and beginning to masturbate him. The choked moans he let out filled his chest with pride and encouraged him to go for more. He spat on the tip and spread the saliva nicely. He stared at the cock and couldn't resist; he opened his mouth and pushed it in, starting to descend until he reached the base. He felt the tip touch a part of the beginning of his throat and that sent an electric current all the way down to his cock. Even with that slightly uncomfortable feeling he continued to move up and down his head, sucking and helping himself with his tongue to lick each part.
“Gi... Fuck,” he groaned, thrusting upward. That made him almost choke, but he still didn't stop; he kept sucking, craving the idea of it ending in his mouth.
After a few seconds he stifled a moan and closed his eyes tightly as he felt the sudden intrusion of two of his fingers, which he began to move as soon as they were all the way in.
His dick began to drip pre cum, indicating his overflowing pleasure and that he would soon be finished. He began to pull his hips back to make his penetrations more effective and at the same time increased the movements of his head, managing to feel his pre-cum on his mouth. His whole body trembled and threatened to collapse once they both finished.
“Keep it up~... You're doing great” Jiahao's raspy voice made his head spin... And also the fact that he was praising him; he had always liked to be praised.
He took his cock out of his mouth and continued to masturbate it with one hand.
“Hyung... Almost there~” he gasped.
He moaned again as he began to feel the introduction of a third finger. He decided to take the cock back into his mouth to muffle the noisy mess that it was; even with the horniness and all on top he had to remember that if he made too much noise people in other rooms would hear and they could get caught.
He felt a wave of heat cover his body completely and seconds later he climaxed, tainting them both as he moaned Jiahao’s name. Despite the very recent orgasm and the pain in his body, especially his neck, he kept moving until he managed to make Jiahao cum in his mouth. He tried to swallow it all, but he closed his mouth prematurely and that caused his face to stain a little.
After that he collapsed completely, breathing heavily and letting out small moans as he felt his fingers leave his insides.
“Ah... I thought our reunion would be more romantic than dirty,” Jiahao stammered as he sat up better on the bed, to which Gihyeon let out some weak giggles.
“Me too... But I'm not complaining. I'm enjoying it too much,” he replied, wiping the little bit of semen left on his face with one of his fingers.
The room was silent again for a few minutes as Gihyeon tried to recover completely, smiling sweetly at the many caresses he was leaving on his body.
“Hyung...” he said, trying to look at him over his shoulder. His breathing was now more controlled “... I want to ride you... Please...” he asked; his eyes glistened from the accumulated tears.
A satisfied smile tugged at his lips as he noticed the desire in Jiahao's gaze. Oh, how good it felt to still be desired by him.
“Come here,” he took his cock and masturbated it a little, functioning as a signal for him to sit there.
Gihyeon stifled a squeal of excitement as he stood up. He turned around, coming face to face with him, and let out an involuntary gasp as he settled himself so that the tip brushed against his hole. He grabbed Jiahao by the shoulders and brought their foreheads together, causing their anxious breaths to mingle.
“Hao... Mgh~” he closed his eyes and wiggled his butt, seeking to make him desperate.
Jiahao, without uttering a word, launched himself to kiss him and took advantage of the fact that his mouth was open to stick his tongue straight in. At the same time and with the help of the grip on his waist he helped Gihyeon to start going down his dick, letting him stifle moans between their mouths. When they separated Gihyeon pulled his head back and moaned his name, feeling the full length inside him.
“How does it feel, Gihyeonie?” he asked in a low, sweet tone. His hands descended quietly down his legs and he could instantly sense how his body trembled.
“Very good~” he replied, with a flicker of a voice. He moved his hips in circles without waiting to get used to the intrusion.
“Ah, anxious much?” he joked, enjoying the way he moved on top of him.
Gihyeon nodded and pouted his lips. He ran a hand through his hair to move his bangs out of his way so he could look at him better.
“Hyung~ Touch me... Please,” he begged, adding little hops to his movements.
He clung to him as he felt his hands roam his body, increasing the heat he felt in every area he touched. From his mouth could only come whimpers that went nowhere. The sound of the clash between their skins became more and more intense, a product of his desperate movements; the idea of him cumming inside him excited him too much and it was all he could think about.
“Hyungie... Mgh!” he shrieked as he felt his tongue flick over one of his nipples.
Despite having closed his eyes he could project Jiahao's smile in his head perfectly.
“Since Gihyeonie is riding me so well and being such a good boy now I thought I could reward him~” his teasing tone, far from frustrating him, only made him more needy. He moaned again as Jiahao sucked the same spot “do you like it~?” he asked, and received an enthusiastic nod that made him laugh.
The way he was being overstimulated made his head cloud with pleasure. Jiahao's mouth on his nipples, as well as his constant ‘good boy’ and ‘you do it so well’ only pushed him further over the edge.
“Hyungie~... Bite me...” he tangled his fingers in his hair and pulled him closer to his chest to encourage him.
Quietly he complied with his orders; he ran his tongue over where he had left hickeys before, which had already turned a dark purple color, and made new ones. He also began to give small thrusts from time to time, causing the penetrations to be deeper and more satisfying.
At one point a particularly high-pitched squeal came out of his mouth; Jiahao's lunge had hit right into his prostate.
“Hao~! Yes~,” he whimpered, his voice cracking at the end. His hands slid down to his back and dug his nails in, hearing a gasp in response.
“Do you like it there, Gihyeonie?” he returned a few more thrusts to the same spot, and Gihyeon broke down in tears with each one.
His legs were trembling and his dick was spurting pre cum, ready to cum, but he could only cry and cry wishing it would go on forever. Through his watery eyes he could only see Jiahao's face; how he looked at him with desire and how he smiled at him as if mocking his pleas. His nails dug deeper and deeper into his skin and dragged his fingers, leaving scratches that if anyone noticed would get him in trouble, wasn't that kind of fun too? To know that something so fun and pleasurable could bring consequences?
“You move so well... Yes~ keep it up,” the way he whispered to him in his deep, lust-filled voice made his skin crawl.
Gihyeon was completely gone; his body was moving on automatic, his breathing was really agitated and from crying so much some of the tears were already marked on his cheeks that were completely red from the heat.
He approached the face of his opponent and brushed his lips, asking for a kiss that way. Jiahao smiled a tender smile and gladly pressed his lips together. That kiss was from the beginning hungry and passionate with an intense rhythm; their tongues played with each other, Jiahao having a clear advantage due to the fact that Gihyeon was unfocused by the amount of emotions he had at the surface.
They kissed until they ran out of air and as they pulled apart there was an obscene snapping sound. Before he could even manage to say anything he felt the other's hand on his dick, beginning to masturbate it to the rhythm of the thrusts. He moaned and hugged him tightly, pressing their bodies together. On the other hand, he soon heard his voice in his ear.
“I love you so much,” he whispered, at the same time making his thrusts more accurate “Every day without you by my side has been torture, and you don't know how happy it makes me to have you here with me,” he began to leave shallow kisses on his cheek, slowly moving down to his neck.
Gihyeon wanted to answer him, but no understandable word or sentence could come out of his mouth. It took a couple more thrusts before he climaxed again, screeching his name as he dug his nails into his back again. His body was tired and sore, but he kept moving anyway. He leaned his weight on Jiahao as he continued to tremble and whimper. Soon after Jiahao also cummed, making him gasp as he felt his semen fill him.
Their heavy breaths quickly filled the silence of the place. Jiahao leaned his back against the wall, still with Gihyeon on top of him, and began to leave caresses and a couple of kisses on his hair, letting him recover.
“... I love you” was the first thing he could say as he regulated his breathing a little better. His eyes remained closed, showing how sleepy he was from so much action.
“I love you too, Gihyeonie,” his tone was as sweet as his smile. He took his chin gently and lifted his head to initiate a tender, lazy kiss. It was short, but that didn't take away from the romance.
They continued to cuddle for a while longer until Gihyeon decided that enough was enough for that night and they should at least get some sleep. Carefully he began to withdraw his dick from inside him and when he finished he planted a quick kiss on Jiahao.
“I'm going to the bathroom to clean myself up,” he said, carefully getting out of bed.
“Don't take too much time or I'm going to start missing you,” that gleam that stood out in his eyes when he saw him was intact.
That answer brought a lover's smile to his face. In a very good mood he went to the bathroom and once he finished washing up he came out and met the expectant gaze of Jiahao, who had already changed and was waiting for him so they could sleep cuddled up again next to his pajamas and boxers on the bed. He quickly got dressed, got under the covers and had a few last kisses with him until they both fell asleep.
——————
Gihyeon stepped out of the elevator with the two suitcases in his hands and dragged them across the reception floor to where the rest of the members were.
“Lin! Here are your things,” he said, handing him the suitcase. That smile he had been wearing since he woke up soon turned into a confused grimace when he noticed the accusing look of the other one “What?”
Lin took his time to answer.
“I didn't want to point it out at breakfast because I don't know, it was weird, but... Is something wrong, Hyeon?” he asked.
“Uh... No?” he answered, letting out some laughter at the out-of-nowhere inquiry “Why do you ask?” he asked.
“Because you seem strange... Like for example you packed my bag so I don't have to go to the room...” he exemplified.
“I did it so you could spend more time with Anxin before going back to the dorms in Korea,” he excused himself. Actually the room was not in an optimal state for anyone to enter.
“Well... What about your eyes? Now that I see them better up close they are very red,” he consulted, narrowing his eyes to get a better look at him.
“Ah... It's just that...” he began to stutter, trying to create some other lie or slightly altered truth.
“Did something happen with Hao?” bingo, that was his escape.
“Yes... Sort of,” he answered, gripping the suitcase handle tightly “I didn't tell you, but we've had some problems these days and I've been avoiding him, but when you sent him to the room we talked and... I opened up with my feelings” he explained, pointing to the red in his eyes.
And not just his feelings.
“Oh... I didn't know, sorry Hyeon” he ducked his head, a little sorry “but good! At least it's all good now, isn't it?” He quickly put a smile on his face.
“Yep. Everything's fine,” he nodded his head.
The sound of the elevator caught both of their attention and they turned to look. From there, some of the Seeds were coming down, among which Anxin and Jiahao stood out.
“I'm leaving with my boyfriend, bye,” before anyone could say anything to him, Lin sped off to where Anxin was, leaving his suitcase behind.
Gihyeon giggled with tenderness as he watched him latch onto the boy's arm like a koala bear. Anxin also thought it was adorable. It was then that his eyes met Jiahao's in the distance; he gave him a sly wave with his hand and received a wink in response, which made him shy and caused him to duck his gaze.
Behind his back he heard someone clearing their throat with intentions of gaining his attention. Turning around, Junpyo's mischievous grin greeted him.
“So... Did you had a nice night?” he asked. He had probably overheard his conversation with Lin and had deduced what exactly had happened.
The question caught him off guard, but it didn't take him long to put on his best smile, showing his teeth.
“The best night in months,” he answered, simply.