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“…The Mara has been destroyed.”
That was the only part of their conversation that Nyssa heard amidst the hubbub of everyone putting themselves to rights and fussing over the man in the head dress, Lon. But she could see them sitting on the steps. The Doctor had put his arm around Tegan, who was sobbing hard, her hand over her mouth.
Nyssa wanted desperately to go over there, to pull her into a proper hug and kiss her head, tell her she was safe. She had only ever seen Tegan cry like that once before, after Adric, and it was heartbreaking to witness. However she was unable to reach them through the crowd of townspeople, instead having been squashed into a corner. She kept her eyes glued to the pair on the steps.
After a moment, the Doctor turned his head and said something to Tegan, again too softly to be heard. Nyssa couldn’t see if he got a response, but a moment later the pair rose, somewhat stiffly (the Doctor’s arm still being ‘round her), and began to slowly push their way towards the exit. She caught the Doctor’s eyes as they raked the room, searching for her, and he signaled for her to catch them up. She set off, a little shaky herself, and carved a path for herself a little more forcefully than she usually would have, her jaw set and her heart in her throat.
Eventually, she managed to escape the cave and found the Doctor and Tegan waiting for her. He still had her tucked into his side, whether for comfort or to keep her standing was unclear. Upon seeing Nyssa, he shot her a tight-lipped smile and beckoned her over with his free hand.
Up close, Tegan looked even worse than she had from across the cave. Her eyes were bloodshot, with purplish dark circles underneath them, and she looked abnormally pale. Again Nyssa felt that urge to sweep her up in her arms, but she held herself back. It wasn’t until Nyssa was right beside them that Tegan even acknowledged her presence, and even then only with a small nod, and some expression that could have been an attempt at a smile if only it didn’t look so pained. Nyssa wanted to cry just looking at her, but she forced herself to smile warmly, to be strong for Tegan.
“Come on, back to the TARDIS.” said the Doctor. As they got going, Nyssa mused that this was the gentlest she had ever seen him be. After Adric he had been hurting, and had distanced himself from his remaining companions, but this time when he was needed, he no longer shied away from that duty of care. She was proud of him for that.
Nyssa was startled out of her train of thought as a cold hand slipped into hers, and she looked up to see Tegan’s face for just a second, warring emotions flitting across it. She didn’t know what to say, or if she should even say anything at all in this moment. And so she said nothing at all, but squeezed tight.
…
It seemed like an age before they made it back to the TARDIS, but once through the doors the trio hardly stopped, the Doctor making a beeline for the smallest kitchen, a homely one close to the girls’ room. By this point, Tegan was obviously flagging, slumping more and more against her companions with every step.
Nyssa was very fond of this kitchen. When she had first gotten to know Tegan, the Earth girl had seemed so vastly different from her, with her hot temper and her ‘take-no-shit’ attitude. Nyssa had admired her greatly, but struggled to find common ground between them. Until, late one night, after a particularly strenuous adventure, when the two of them had migrated from the console room to this kitchen, and over hot drinks had had one of those talks, the kind that only happen late at night between women, when lines blur and inhibitions lower.
The conversation had been like a stream of consciousness, each woman learning seemingly unimportant titbits about each other’s lives. Seemingly unimportant, but definitely not for Nyssa, who had treasured all information about the woman she had an ever-growing crush on. Tegan had also told her that night that this particular kitchen reminded her of the one she grew up in, with its bright colours and wooden furniture. “Not enough room to swing a cat in, but much more homely for it” Tegan had sighed at the time, a fond smile spreading slowly across her face.
Nyssa and the Doctor carefully helped Tegan onto one of the high-backed barstools, and then stood back. It had not gone unnoticed by either of them that Tegan had not uttered a word the entire journey, and the silence between the three felt heavy and oppressive. The Doctor was the one to break it, clearing his voice before he spoke to rid his throat of the metaphorical cobwebs that had settled.
“We should make tea. That’s what you do after traumatic incidents. Nyssa, would you mind putting the kettle on?”
As she did, he continued to ramble on in his oh-so familiar way, simultaneously jarring and endearing.
“You know, I haven’t seen that much else in the universe. Suppose it must be something to do with the old British reserve?”
“Doctor, we’re none of us British.”
“True, true. But I’ve gotten into the habit, I suppose. Too many old friends.”
There was silence for a moment then, broken by the kettle beginning to whistle through its cycle, and if the Doctor did say anything more, Nyssa certainly did not hear it. In any case, she wouldn’t have been listening, having redirected her attention back to Tegan, who had put her head down on her arms at the counter. Nyssa would almost have thought she had fallen asleep, if she didn’t know what had gone on these past few weeks. She frowned slightly, her instinct again being to reach out, but unsure whether her presence would be appreciated.
Instead she watched as the Doctor prepared three comically large mugs of tea, pouring in the milk and then heaping an obscene amount of sugar into two of them (it would have been three had Nyssa not caught his wrist as he made moves towards her own). Wanting to feel useful, Nyssa stood on her tippy-toes to reach into the overhead cabinet. She strained, rootling around until she found an already opened packet of Tegan’s favourite biscuits.
Armed with sugar, she and the Doctor seated themselves at the bar. Tegan did not look up, even as a cup was slid towards her, lightly bumping her arm. The Doctor’s ability to aid seemed to fizzle out here, and he sat back in his seat to sip at his tea, a worried expression on his face as he hid behind the rim of the mug.
Nyssa hesitated for a moment. The silence from her…friend was truly worrying. Tegan was always the first to speak her mind and advocate for herself and others. It was one of the things that Nyssa found most endearing about her. Nyssa took a breath as she made up her mind. There was no more use worrying about overstepping boundaries when Tegan clearly needed help in an immediate way.
She stood up and moved around the counter, only hesitating a moment more before reaching out to touch Tegan’s available hand (the other being tucked under her head). She encircled it with her own, warm skin covering cold.
“Tegan, my love, can you look at me, please?”
There was a single agonising moment where Nyssa feared that Tegan might have shut down entirely, but then she felt a light squeeze of her hand, and wide light eyes met dark and bleary ones.
“Hey.” Nyssa smiled softly.
“Hi.” breathed Tegan, her voice low from lack of use.
“I know you feel awful right now, but that’s okay. You’re safe here, Tegan.”
The two women stared at each other. Then, Tegan’s lip wobbled, her face crumpled, and before Nyssa could blink she was sobbing once more.
Nyssa rounded the table at lightning speed and pulled her into a tight hug, muttering nonsense into her ear and rocking her gently back and forth. Tegan smelled of sweat, salty tears and cologne and it was intoxicatingly her. Eventually her breathing began to even out, although she was still making little hiccuping noises, their volume amplified by the proximity of her mouth to Nyssa’s ear. Nyssa pulled away slightly, keeping one arm around Tegan but bringing the other up to gently swipe at the tear tracks marring her pretty face with the pad of her thumb. She felt rather than heard Tegan exhale, the two of them locked in eye contact. Her hand lingered on the other woman’s face, and she was rewarded with a watery but real smile from the Australian.
The moment was broken abruptly by an incredibly forced cough from the Doctor, who was still sat at the counter, mug in hand.
“You should drink your tea, it’ll go cold otherwise.”
Somewhat reluctantly, the two women disentangled themselves, Nyssa taking the seat between her friends. A more pleasant silence fell between the three as they sipped, shattered after mere seconds by Tegan who sputtered:
“What on Earth did you put in this Doctor? It’s DISGUSTING!”
She pushed her mug away, glaring at him, and Nyssa couldn’t help but giggle as he made a weak attempt at redeeming himself.
“Sugar for shock! I thought-”
“Doctor it tastes like straight syrup!”
“Today was a lot of a shock, thereby requiring a lot of sugar!”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I think it tastes fine!”
“Do you have taste buds??”