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Maximilian had finally fallen asleep.
Riftan slowly opened his bleary eyes, exhaustion flooded through his body. A good ache in his limbs as his arm lifted and placed his hand, slowly...carefully, on Maxmilian's thin, delicate shoulder.
Her snow-white skin seemed to glow in the blueish light of the moon peaking from the curtains. It felt like a dream. Riftan was sure at any moment, he would awaken again to the cold, frigid air of the Lexus Mountains. It would be so cold at times it hurt to breathe, his joints aching and heart pounding as he would stare up at the ceiling of his tent, the dreams of the night before fading as the light outside grew brighter.
But it didn't happen.
Her slow, quiet breaths filled the room. Riftans heart pounded in his chest as his hand lifted to brush his finger against her cheekbone. Her freckles were hard to make out now, but he was still amazed he could be so close and admire them without shame.
That he now had a second chance.
That Maximilian, seemingly, was going to give him one despite how he acted when they reunited, despite the fear that he could all but taste rolling off of her. The frustration built up in his chest, fighting with the smug pride he had now to show her he was worthy of this marriage.
Worthy of Maximilian.
That he had more than enough honor now.
Riftan would give her the stars in the sky or the smooth stones from the bottom of the ocean. He would show her he wasn't a brute - that he cared. That he would make up for hurting her and that he would never hurt her again.
Even though Maximilian probably would never feel the same intense passion he had burning in his veins just by touching her soft skin, she would at least enjoy the time together in bed.
It would at least someday not be something dreaded or of obligation for having a child.
(He had to endure three years' worth of male talk on that mountain. He made sense of those tales of bedding women he heard from the mercenaries who raised him. Making sense of situations he stumbled on by accident as a child.
Understanding better now what those women have been seeking from him since he turned fourteen. )
How she kissed him back, pushed against him. Her sharp nails dig into the skin of his neck and shoulders. Such sweet pain he welcomed eagerly, even when she squeezed a bit too tight, almost making him cum right then and there.
It was worth it to pull back, to see her red hair sticking to her face and forehead, stuck by the sweat. Maximilian's mouth opened, gasping for air and soft moans escaping as she stared at Riftan with her winter lake eyes like she saw him for the first time, the deep blush like a peach.
Even when he slipped and called her Maxi - over and over. A claim staked on her more than her being called Calypse. A name only he could say - to close that distance and let his affection run free now. No more denial or hiding, no more self-loathing and guilt.
He had longed for that closeness since the moment of his birth; it was now in his grasp, and maybe someday, she would also enjoy the closeness he desperately sought from her. That look of confusion and apprehension would leave her face when they moved together like that.
That she would cup his face with her soft hands and kiss him with affection.
Riftan let out a sigh as his finger traced over her soft features. Hopefully, she would have a better appetite once they were on their way. Now that he was calm, Riftan was sure he had made her too nervous to eat because of his overbearing presence.
He pushed a strand of her deep red hair in the rising light behind her ear. Tracing it softly before putting his forefinger and thumb on the soft ear lobe, rubbing the hole made to hold those stunning jewels.
He couldn't wait to see her wear the ones waiting at Anatol. He could feel his lips upturn slightly as his black eyes roamed over her features. It felt like he was stuck in an illusion of his own making, but it was real. Her skin was warm, and he could hear her soft breaths. Seeing the drool slip from the side of her mouth was an adorable sight.
A sight he would have for the rest of his days.
Carefully, he pulled her closer as he moved onto his stomach, his face buried in her cloud-like hair; it smelled like roses. And for once, he felt the heaviness of contentment rush through him as he closed his eyes again.
Sleep evaded him; his heart would not stop pounding as he laid his arm over her chest, bringing her closer as she mumbled something and curled into his embrace.
Riftan smiled.
For once, he was not cold.
----
Sometimes, the urge to make Ruth disappear suddenly came back to Riftan every now and then. Not like Riftan hated the man, honestly the opposite (he would rather die a painful death than have Ruth know even a sliver of that), but he couldn't help the boiling irritation in Riftan's chest as he lay in that wretched barn on his bedroll along with Maxi on hay.
Fucking Hay.
Far from the silk sheets and goose feather pillows, he daydreamed about being on with her the moment Sektors head fell into the snow.
But he didn't totally hate it.
Riftan's eyes were half open, and he watched Maximilian sleeping across from him. The firestone burning bright in her tiny hands that lay between them, though Riftan preferred his suggestion of sharing warmth from earlier (Maxi in his arms pushed tight against him), but a part of him guessed maybe that was too much for her at that moment.
Maybe it was shyness from being around so many men and not in the room alone with him. He doubted she had ever been in a room with so many men and being the only woman, and considering how her father kept her cloistered in the Duchy and how she seemed to dislike staying at banquets for long, it made sense.
Of course, he would also be a fool to ignore the skittish way she hovered near him or flinched if he moved too soon in her direction. There was still a long way to go until she was somewhat comfortable being around him or showing any kind of...not affection... but tolerance when others were around as well.
Of course, the fact she preferred to be with him in a barn rather than in a small cottage in a real bed made his heart jump slightly, hope beginning to fill him.
But as Riftan lifted his hand again, brushing his knuckles along her cheekbone, his black eyes studying her features alight by the red glow of the firestone. He had to admit that Ruth made the right choice, even if it was in his nagging, busy-buddy way.
At least he could count on the Mage to show some kindness towards his wife (considering what the other option everyone seemed to want as Riftan's wife. Ruth really had no choice but to like Maxi.), how the other knights acted that morning gnawed in the back of his mind. He felt his usual yelling and growling wouldn't cut it if they were going to be so brazen of their dislike in front of her.
Maximilian was not the Duke.
She was not to blame for the situation Riftan found himself in three years ago. If it was anything, she was the only real, true victim of being forced into a marriage with a man she feared.
(Riftan would never forgive himself for the hesitation he felt the first time he received the Dukes' proposition. )
Of course, to them, she had hurt Riftans' honor by staying at the Duchy. And Riftan himself still wasn't sure to think of her excuses; he didn't think she was lying, but at the same time, it was hard to believe; and he so badly wanted to believe her but it happened, and that was that.
Riftan returned. Their marriage was legitimate in the eyes of God and the church, and not even the King could disregard that, and he was taking her to their home now.
Their home.
The words bounced around in Riftans head as his hand touched her hair. The soft red curls made his skin shiver and burn simultaneously; it was like how a cloudy morning or evening looked as the sunset or when the sun rose in the morning. Riftan was sure if one could touch a cloud, it would feel like her curls as he let them fall through his fingers like water.
Slowly, his eyes closed as he let the warmth of the firestone seep into his bones. His large, calloused move around her thin waist brought her closer to him.
Just a few more days, and she would be sleeping in silks.
His silks.
----
Like everything in Riftans life, especially when it came to trying to impress Maximilian. It was a disaster.
The castle looked worse than it did the day he left. With all that high talk about how it looked better inside, he nervously ran his mouth about as they looked out from the hill over his land.
The pride he felt at the amazement that came over her face. How her silver eyes sparkled in the late afternoon sun, any weariness from the journey not noticeable at that moment. Riding through the village was the first time Riftan felt Maximilian relax against him as she took in the cheering crowd.
All Riftan's senses were trained on her, hyper aware as the nervousness built in his gut. So many years, he imagined this moment.....so much money went into this moment that he denied admitting all these years.
But she was here.
Maxi was in Anatol.
And everything went downhill after that, as Riftan should've expected since that is usually how things seem to go in his life.
He sighed as he stood beside the bed, looking down at Maximilian's form, obviously exhausted and his plans for the night ruined. But as he knelt by the bedside, he looked at her in the warm glow of the candles and fireside, and his chest clenched at that moment as he brushed his knuckles against her cheek, pushing that cloud-like hair, now heavy with water, to the side.
Cheeks flushed, and her mouth was relaxed; a part of Riftan almost preferred this sight. She was naked in his bed, and her adorable cloud-like red hair splashed against the white pillows and sheets. As Riftan leaned in his lips inches from her cheek, he was sure this was the most relaxed he had ever seen her. No tension making her body rigid, ready to flee at any slight movement.
Even as they bathed, those winter lake eyes still held that melancholy that plagued her at the Duchy. Hung around her like miasma to the point he had the ludacris thought to take her, that being in this place despite being so cherished wasn't good for her.
Even when that loneliness hung on her thin shoulders as a child, she always did seem happier among the flowers.
It was among the flowers as she pleaded with a small animal to stay with her that cemented Maxi in his heart.
Slowly, Riftan pressed his lips against her cold cheeks and then her forehead, giving off a huff of a laugh when he saw her wrinkle her nose and sigh. Part of him knew he should call one of the maids to dress her. Riftan wasn't exactly sure where those clothes were now stored or even ready to wear, so he pulled the soft blanket up to her shoulders.
In truth he didn't want any disturbances invading this long awaited moment.
Finally, he stood all the way up. He rubbed his hand over his face before sighing and walking over to the window to stare out at the colors of the sunset covering the land in reds and oranges, and for the first time, he realized that restlessness of hot coals on the bottom of his feet; making sure he moved never stopping or resting. Never enjoying the accomplishment he had made since he was knight.
it had now settled.
For once, as he looked over his shoulder, taking in the sight of her red hair poking from under the blankets....finally, he felt like he could stop moving, to stop running since he left that depleted hut and climbed into that carriage and letting the damaged, shriveled petals fall from his hands.
It was worth it.
Everything he has done since that day led to this.
Finally, he was home.
-----
When Riftan awoke it felt like he had been hit by a sledge hammer and buried alive. He struggled to open his eyes and when he did there was just a blur it was like he didn't know where he was at that moment.
The room was cold is his first thought.
He stretches and moves his arm to the right, looking for the warmth that he had come to expect there. Except the sheets are cold and empty making Riftan snap his eyes open as his hand crumbles a piece of paper suddenly, his fingers twitch as the fog in his mind begins to clear.
A letter arrived yesterday morning.
From Maximilian.
Slowly he sits up, his mind feels heavy as he looks over at the wine bottle laying next to the envelope as he brings his hands to rub his face. Trembling slightly as his thoughts finally catch up with him.
It had been almost two seasons since Maxi had abandoned him for the world tower and her first letter had arrived the day before. Riftan rubbed his calloused palm over his face as the slight pattern of raindrops hit the window and the chill in the room deepened in his bones.
Maximilians letter was overly formal and hesitant, like she was carefully picking her words. Which made sense considering the last things he had said to her and even with that dry hesitation he drank up every letter and sentence until he he finally fell asleep from exhaustion both physically and then emotionally from receiving the letter.
Ruth kept telling him every chance he got it seemed like that she would send a letter as soon as possible. Part of Riftan tried to ignore the mages nagging, it seemed even worse now than it was when they first met over a decade ago. Making sure he ate and slept, even at one point offering an illusion.
Riftan didn't even have the strength to even growl or glare at the mage for offering such a thing; he didn't know the illusions he gave Riftan when he was sixteen featured the very person that he now resented and desired deeply at the same time.
Wanting to hold her, to hear from her more than anything.
While at the same time wanting to tear the letter up and burn it.
The words on it held no meaning at all but he couldn't stop himself from reading the words over and over until his eyes went dry and it had only been a few hours since he recieved it.
He turned his head back as he laid his hand back ontop of the sheets of paper. Just ten pages essentially describing, vaguely (which Ruth warned him about) her days and her feelings and promising over and over the next three years would be over before few he knew it, and that she couldn't wait for his warm embrace again and how she was counting the seconds.
He wanted to believe that. That Maximilian also longed for him this time as much as he did for her. But a part of him didn't believe the flowerly words, only making him realize how empty he truely was.
How he barely was hanging on.
Riftan somewhat had began to feel sympathy for the woman that birthed him if this is what she felt for twelve years. Having no guarantee the bastard would come back for her until she knew for sure it wouldn't happen.
His stepfather wanted life to be different for Riftan and for awhile Riftan believed he had accomished it. That he wouldn't be miserable for looking up because somehow he did end up with the woman of his dreams....a woman who slowly seemed to want him just as much.
Until she got the first chance to leave while claiming it was for the best.
Slowly he turned onto his side and then stomach his hand laying on the letter that laid on her side of the bed. His face was half buried in the pillow as he listened to the rain become heavier and the pounding of his own heart and the chill air sunk into him deeply, settling over him like an old blanket.
Slowly he closed his eyes again squeezing them rightly until stars and colors starting popping up in the darkness and he took a deep breath through his nose before breathing out slowly as he opened his black eyes as they focused in and out on her small writing.
Would this really be the view for the rest of his life?
Sleep evaded him as he sat up and placed his feet on the carpet as he moved to start the fire back up at the fire place.
It was cold now after all.