Work Text:
It hurt to breathe.
Why did it hurt to breathe?
Calliope was on her bed, pressed against the wall and she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. They didn’t even know what brought on the panic attack. They were at spawn, watching their family have fun literally twenty minutes ago and now she couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t force the air to go in and out of her lungs. They looked at their comm and went to grab it. Her hand barely brushed the small metal communicator she had made with her dad before she pulled her hand away like it had burned her. She didn’t want to be a bother. Didn’t want to make her family worry about her. They could handle this themselves. Just like they always did.
They choked back a sob as the panic got worse. Their mouth felt dry like sandpaper and their stomach churned like a storm. Like the storms she used to watch with her family back at the alliance base. Like the storms she used to be fascinated in that she would tell her family fun facts about. She slammed her hand over her mouth as she felt bile rise up in her throat. The teen took a deep breath as she tried to calm her stomach. She couldn’t get sick right now. They couldn’t do it.
Everything felt weird. Felt wrong. Felt like too much. Their clothes felt too tight. Too warm. Their limbs tingled from the odd position she was sitting in. Their head hurt. Their back hurt from the sculk. The sculk that has been bringing her so much pain recently. Pain she didn’t tell anyone about. Pain she dealt with herself.
Her heart raced as they struggled to get any air in or out. It had been getting worse as their panic continued. She knew she needed to calm down but they didn’t know how. Didn’t know how to get her lungs to work. How to get her brain to quiet down. How to get her family to need her. To want her. Her nails dug into her arm, leaving crescent shaped indents in her skin. She needed to calm down. They needed her family. They needed her dad.
No she didn’t. She could do this herself. They could do this alone like always.
They didn’t need help. Right?