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Late at Sixth Street, a telephone rings in the quaint video store tucked into the corner. Woken from an exhausted sleep, the sister of the manager-duo at Random Play wakes up with a startle as a Bangboo urgently jumps up and down to get her attention. “Huh?… Six…” She rubs her eyes still laced with sleep, trudging out of the room labelled “STAFF ONLY” in bold, metallic letters. Nights are still cold this time of the year, and hurriedly shedding the vest she usually adorned before the swift knockout into dreamland is starting to physically feel like a bad idea.
Shivering as she picks up the phone she mumbles, “Sorry, the store isn’t open at this hour. Please come agai-”
“Belle?” The voice on the other end is rich and smooth, albeit weary from what Belle knows to be shifty work hours. Her eyes spring open, “Oh, M-Ms Evelyn! What uh- What’re you calling us for? Is something wrong with Astra?” Evelyn, manager of pop star Astra Yao, answers humorously, “No, everything went smoothly during her end of year tour. I’m calling for a more… personal matter, if you please." Belle blinks a few times, “About Astra?”
The line is quiet for a moment. “No,” Evelyn says with a softer edge. “About me.”
Belle takes a moment. What could she possibly do for the Evelyn Chevalier, who seems to always know everything, who has backup plans for backup plans? “Is there really something I can help with?” Evelyn quietly sighs. “A-Also! Please feel free to call me at my personal number. It’s getting cold out the front of the store and I want to go to my room where it’s warm…” Belle nervously chuckles. Evelyn quickly apologises before taking down her number and redialing her personal phone.
“Much better,” Belle sighs, comfortably surrounded by pillows and her warm blanket. “So… What’s up?”
Evelyn doesn’t think the conversation warrants such a casual introduction as a ‘What’s up’. Nonetheless, she maintains her composure to not alert the Proxy of any ulterior motives as she asks, “Why do you like Ms Astra so much?” The line is silent as Belle- presumably- collects her thoughts. She stammers a little as she answers, “Really? Do… Do you want a list or something? And! That’s impossible to answer in the best way possible!- Wait, is this a test or something? Are you doing fan surveys?” Before the store manager can run wild with her thoughts, Evelyn cuts in, “N-No… Belle. I’m just… curious, if you will.” It’s a half-truth, but the truth nonetheless. Evelyn has been watching from the wings or the domes of vantage points during Astra’s tours, observing her and the surroundings should something act amiss. Despite smooth sails, it gave Evelyn something to think about while seeing thousands gather to watch and sing along to Astra’s music, fans carrying glowing lights to let her visually see their love for her in the darkened stadiums.
So Evelyn began wondering what drew people in; what made them declare such a powerful emotion like love for the singer? It isn’t the true sort of love, she knows. Yet she’s still curious from a fan perspective.
“Ms Evelyn? Hello? Are you there? Oh… Don’t tell me you fell asleep! That’s so embarrassing! What a reality check…” She hears Belle whining. “N-No… I’m- I’m here. Sorry.”
“Oh, phew! I thought I was losing my mind with no audience. Anyway back to what I was saying-“ Belle talks about Astra the way Evelyn knows everyone talks about the pop star; how she’s simply too gorgeous to be real, how her singing is beautiful, how her songs have so much meaning. But something that Belle follows up with catches Evelyn’s ear, “And I just think she has such a pure soul-“
“How do you mean?” Clearly, the store manager has been caught by surprise by the sudden interruption. “U-Um… I mean, everyone assumes this diva personality she’s marketed with is real, y’know? I mean you’d know, you’re her manager and- I think- her confidant, right? You know that this is a wild misconception,” Belle sighs. “Astra is just… she has such a beautiful, pure soul.”
Evelyn’s lips tighten into a straight line.
“I’m kinda glad we met her as a Proxy, y’know? Seeing the real side of Astra Yao… Isn’t that just the dream for so many fans? They all wanna know what she’s ’really like’ but she’s actually just like anyone else, isn’t she? Wouldn’t that bamboozle their brains a bit?” Belle giggles. “Her heart is in her music, her soul is written out clearly for everyone to see if they only looked. And I think… I think that’s the most charming part of Astra. If that’s what you’re asking.”
Evelyn lets out a deep sigh she didn’t know she was holding. “Is everything okay, Ms Evelyn?” She replies curtly, “Yes, Belle.”
“I hope my answer was what you’re looking for. You can always text if you need to hear more about the woman you work with!” Belle says cheekily. That snapped something in Evelyn’s head. “Right… Thank you for picking up my call, Belle. I’m sorry to have disturbed you so late.” The manager’s tinkle of laughter comes through the line, “Always happy to yap about Astra!” She says with a laugh and a dreamy voice. Evelyn only hums.
Their call ends with courteous exchanges and Evelyn is left to her own thoughts again in her apartment. Something from beyond wants her to go see Astra right this second, but the star should be sleeping by now, and Evelyn doesn’t want to find out whether she is or isn’t.
Her stalling gives her time to think about everything Belle has been saying. ‘The woman you work with’ is such a sharp way to put it. Sure, Evelyn had duties, had obligations to whomever she swore to. Even if it was indirect, her heart seemed to reach out for the pop star on its own. There may not have been certain contractual obligations, but Evelyn’s heart cut through red tapes and found genuine fear in losing- nay- failing Astra Yao.
Perhaps one of her greatest fears. It’s unbecoming of a… surveillance officer to hold personal feelings toward their charges, lest they fail to proceed with orders and put unnecessary risks into play. Yet, the want and desire to protect Astra felt as real as ever.
It puts Evelyn's mind in a scramble. It should be easy to snap out of it and gain back her clear head, but this is probably one of the reasons spies aren’t meant to get too close to their targets. Rational thinking out the window, she finds herself marching down to grab her car, taking off to Astra’s apartment just a block over. She feels two sides of her fighting in her head, her rational and irrational sides clawing for the metaphorical driver’s seat, as she makes her way up to Astra’s floor.
The door opens for her as she realises that she’s knocked. Astra’s curious face peeks out, a brightness in her eyes that never seems to dull, a puffy band on her head as a sheet mask sits on her face. “Eve! Come in!” No questions on what her business is, or the late hour of her arrival; it’s as if Astra has always been expecting Evelyn. Her guard stiffly walks into the cozy home, lit up with warm-coloured lamps that make the whole space feel and look like a slice of toast. She can’t help but smile at the thought.
“Sorry,” Astra starts, voice muttering through the thin line of her lips. “I’m almost done with the mask gimme two minutes more.” Her voice fades as she does a cute shuffle into her bedroom. Evelyn makes herself at home naturally in Astra’s personal quarters, making a cup of tea that’ll calm her unusually shaky nerves.
She doesn’t know what she’s doing here. If Astra asked what her purpose was at the front door, she’d be at a complete loss for words. For the first time, Evelyn feels that emotions are the better medium than words. Normally in her line of work, the written word is the most powerful. It made things clean, clear, and simple, for any person to understand quickly and leave no room for misguided interpretation. And yet here she is in Astra Yao’s comfy apartment- somewhere that just screams her- finding herself wanting to share something with this ‘woman she works with’ that’s somehow too difficult to describe with words alone.
“Okay, I’m coming!~” Astra’s bedroom slippers slide along the hardwood in rhythmic motions, the lilt in her voice playful and very much awake.
“I see you’re still energetic at this hour,” Evelyn chooses to open with. Astra chuckles cheekily, “Yeah, yeah. You got me. But who’d open the door for you otherwise, hm?” Evelyn takes a sip from her mug.
Astra is as extroverted as the label can get. She clearly shows it when she’s with Evelyn, having the strange ability to talk non-stop even with the other’s minimal input. It gives Evelyn all the more time to take in the woman in front of her, with her animated expressions and that slight smile on her face that never seems to fade.
And her minds speaks, “She’s beautiful.”
The soft, fond smile she's had sharply falls from Evelyn’s features as her consciousness catches up to her normally quiet background thoughts. “Evie? Are you okay?” She locks eyes with Astra’s nervous ones, mind in competition with her heart to see which will kill her first. Her senses come back online and she registers Astra’s cold hand on the back of hers, “Your hand… it’s cold. Astra.”
The popstar quietly chuckles, “I know. Sorry. Is everything alright with you? You’ve been looking a little lost since you came.” Lost, huh? Evelyn wants to nod and just say it’s all alright. But there’s a nagging in her head that tells her “This is it!" without really knowing what ‘it’ is. She takes it anyway and chooses, “Not really.”
Astra Yao never frowns. Not genuinely, and never out of anger. The frown now on her face is confused and hurt, for a reason Evelyn cannot identify. It feels like she’s failed. “What’s up, Eve? You can tell me anything.”
Anything?
“There’s something wrong with me. I-“ Astra cuts her off immediately with a loud gasp, hands flying to her open mouth. “Eve! Are you sick? Do you need to go to the hospital? What happened? Did you do something?-“
“As- Astra!”
She quietens as Evelyn softly chuckles, “I’m… fine. Physically. But it’s something in my head that I can’t wrap my head around. Like a little dilemma, if you will… It’s-” She goes on a little quieter with a sigh, “It’s about you.” Red kisses the tips of Astra’s ears just slightly, bare face curious and expectant. She points comically at herself, “Me?” Evelyn nods, feeling sick in her core. This is weird. This doesn’t feel right, but she wants to do something about it. Her mind tells her this is the best way to relieve her of these annoying symptoms.
“There’s… I…” Evelyn doesn’t know how to start what she wants to say; she doesn’t know what she needs to say. She abruptly stops and clears her throat before picking up again, “I… called the Proxy just now to ask some questions and- Please! Don’t interrupt, Astra,” She holds out a hand to pause the star from butting in with unnecessary questions, her mouth already open in anticipation of the words about to spill from her pink lips. She shuts it with a pout.
“I’m fine, and they’re fine. I was just asking for their opinion on something.” She looks away sheepishly, “Something concerning you.” Either Astra has exceptional control over her words now, or has truly become too stunned to speak. Evelyn pushes on without wanting to find out.
“I asked them a simple question, on why they like you so much. From a fan perspective.” She nods, feeling a little more sure of herself now. At this point it just feels like an ordinary report, like what one would give to a higher up. Despite their corporate work-relationship, she’s sure that there’s something more; there always has been when it comes to the two of them. Maybe Evelyn should’ve seen this coming a long time ago.
So Evelyn tells Astra in brief what Belle said. It’s nothing new for the celebrity, praises being simply the natural benefit of stardom. “It made me realise something, Astra.” Without even knowing, their hands lay over each other’s on Evelyn’s knee while she’d been talking off Astra’s ear nervously, and the star had been comfortingly rubbing her thumb over Evelyn’s knuckles to ground her. And it’s been working.
“I think I’ve been privileged in a way, because I’ve been blind to the fact that I have been seeing your most true self all these years.” Evelyn feels this rush of adrenaline in her system that prompts her to keep speaking, to keep talking even as Astra’s frowning with an exasperated, perhaps excited look on her face. She keeps nodding at Evelyn’s every word with fervour, now holding each of her hands individually with a tighter grip.
“I realised how much more I know of you than I expected. This comes with the privilege and honour of being your personal bodyguard, yes. But I’d… I’d like to think you also see me as a… friend? Perhaps?” Evelyn winces at the words. She truly doesn’t know what possessed her to lay all this out for Astra, in front of Astra.
The woman she works with. The woman she works for.
Breathlessly, Astra says, “…Yes! Eve, yes! Of course you’re my… friend.” She swallows some emotion before breathily giggling, “Oh, Evie… I’d also like to think I know your genuine self as much as you know mine.” Evelyn feels a little guilty at those words, but maintains her expression.
“N-Not only that, Astra, but you- I think when Belle mentioned your passion for your work I- something… something clicked. But I don’t know what happened as a result of that and honestly-“ Evelyn loosens their hands and turns slightly away. “I’m afraid of the fact I don’t know what this new feeling is.”
Astra hums softly, shifting to sit cross legged on the couch facing Evelyn. “Let’s talk about it then. It’s rare you open up like this, but I’m not complaining. I want to be here for you, Eve. I want to be more than just the person you’re contracted to.” Evelyn’s jaw clenches for a second. Astra just doesn’t know the weight of those words to her.
She tries to explain as much as she can. Her fear of failing Astra is one of the biggest things they talk about. “But it all comes back to work again! What- What about your normal life?” Astra’s tone becomes a little more agitated as she understands that Evelyn seems to not have a life outside of her job. “Astra, you know my life is dedicated to providing your safety. There is nothing more I want than for you to be safe, to succeed, and to be happy.”
There’s a pause in the air as something dawns on Astra, if her changing expression is anything to go by. “Evie… Only one of those things is a contracted duty.”
“Ye- Yeah? So? Is it bad that I want to do more for you?” Evelyn feels her face get hot. She doesn’t blush, though. Never has. Never needed to. Maybe until now. She fumbles over her words, and it’s so uncharacteristic that it embarrasses her further and makes her fumble even more.
“I- I care about you, Astra- You, the person in front of me! Not some diva-star-celebrity person. Maybe my life can be separated from my job, if that’s what you’re so hung up about. I’ll do it then. Evelyn Chevalier protects Astra Yao under business contract, cares about her just enough to fulfil requirements and get paid. And… And then…”
Astra has moved much closer, a hand hovering over Evelyn’s cheek. She takes in a shaky breath before asking quietly, “W-What is it?” Astra gives a small smile before brushing under her eye with her knuckles gently. “You’re having an overwhelmed-cry, Evie,” She says, voice warm like it is when Evelyn hears her sing ballads from backstage. She’s not wrong. Evelyn rubs hastily at her eyes to rid them of stray tears. “You can continue when you’re ready.”
Remembering what she was going to say, she clams up, “No… I’ve said enough.” Astra warmly chuckles in the back of her throat, handing Evelyn her tea that’s gone a bit cold. “Let’s heat it up in a bit. But I know you’ve got more to say. Remember, I know the genuine you. ‘And then’... what?” Evelyn accepts her room temperature tea and takes a sip to rehydrate nervously.
“And then… There’ll be you and… me.”
Astra pauses and quietly watches Evelyn put the mug back on the coffee table and avoid eye contact with her. “Like a Genuine You and a Genuine Me?” Evelyn nods shyly, eyes still averted. Astra smiles, “That’s nice, Evie. I’d like that.” Evelyn nods again blankly, feeling a little out of it now that the adrenaline has worn off. “Come, Evie, you should sleep this off.”
Astra guides a mentally exhausted Evelyn into her plush bed, perfectly sized for two. She tucks Evelyn into the side she doesn’t usually sleep on. Its side table is decorated sparsely the way Evelyn likes it, claiming clutter makes it harder to easily locate necessary items one may need at any given time. Still, there’s a reed diffuser that’s just been changed recently to a light floral and citrus scent- one Astra often thinks she smells on the tail end of Evelyn’s perfumes- and a coaster Evelyn bought once during one of Astra’s tour trips. She says she only bought it because of the silly design that made her laugh.
When Evelyn is settled, Astra goes around to slip into her side and lowers the lights. Naturally, Evelyn turns toward Astra’s being the moment she lays down. One of her hands reaches out in the lowlight and collides softly with Astra’s arm. “Yes, Evie?”
“Don’t go,” Her unfiltered vulnerability strikes Astra for a moment before she relaxes and reaches her own hand to interlock their fingers. “I’m not going anywhere,” She murmurs in response. “Neither out of your sight, nor out of your mind, I hope.” She giggles to herself softly. Evelyn mumbles something that sounds like approval. Astra moves closer, hearing Evelyn’s breathing begin to even out. Before she drifts too far into dreamland, she whispers into the air, “You know I- I love you, right, Evie? And I care about you too.”
“Mm…” Just as Astra is about to accept that maybe Evelyn didn’t actually mean what she was implying before, her friend sighs and squeezes their locked hands, “Astra…” But doesn’t say more. It takes a beat before she’s mumbling again, mind barely clinging onto consciousness. A tired, yet desperate hand crawls up Astra’s arm, falling off her shoulder onto her neck, just below her jaw.
“Astra.”
And so her name is muttered a little softer now, the sentiment laced between each letter betraying more meaning than any other words could’ve tried to in that moment- where just the feeling is enough. Because Astra understands. She’s understood ever since Evelyn started talking about her conversation with the Proxy. For how observant she is in her work, Evelyn can be so oblivious to other things. Of course they've been friends. But her unspoken ask for ‘more’ is as obvious as the sun in the daylight, and Astra finds that it tickles her.
In the morning, Evelyn will see that the side table is as empty as she prefers it, she’ll wake up to a familiar smell of flora and citrus, and something distinguishingly woody between it all, and she’ll realise that she’s woken up in clothes that have been left at Astra’s on purpose some time ago, in a bed she feels so well-rested in, in a house that's toasty to her definition of perfection. It won’t be her house, but she’ll wake up to Astra singing to herself in the shower, and she’ll realise that she’s already been at home.