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Till wasn’t sure how he ended up like this.
With his face warm from the alcohol, all he could feel was the throbbing dizziness and the loose strands getting in his vision every few minutes. Sprawled on the floor lazily with the others in a circle, he sat in the midst of Mizi and Hyuna with hopes of trying a move on the pink-haired woman tonight. Maybe Hyuna could be a wingwoman or cheer along. Maybe in an alternate universe, he could finally reach Mizi and yell out his love for her beauty, her personality… or even simply that he liked her.
But fuck that. All of it, ‘cause he got nervous too fast after the first interaction and drowned himself with the shots instead. He can still recall remnants of Ivan’s laughter from earlier as haunting echoes in his head. Fuck him too.
He turned to the boisterous woman beside him as he took a rare sip of water, half listening. Fine, he was not that drunk yet. But one more thing tonight and he’s guaranteed liver poisoning. Oh wait, did Hyuna mention playing that ‘spin the bottle’ shit again…?
Man, he really can’t get Mizi with that. She’s right beside him. And beside her was Sua, whom he was practically terrified of. His life was so good. He didn’t want anyone but Mizi, and he was going to get anyone but Mizi.
“Alright, shitheads!!” Hyuna clapped loudly, sitting up better. “Wake up, it's time for another round! This time, whoever the two chosen people are, need to… uh. Give me ideas.”
“Dunno.” Luka proposed from behind the group, likely the only one completely sober. Probably just lying on the couch being a pretty boy for Hyuna. “Dance or something.”
“Wow.” Hyuna remarked flatly. “... I know. The chosen ones will be locked in a room for seven minutes!!”
“... Hell no.” Came a complaint from Sua’s end. Hyuna, like the woman she is, ignored her and leaned forward to the bottle. In one swift movement it was spinning.
“Anddd… Ivan, Till. Congrats, guys!!” Hyuna grinned, clapping a bit. Till could swear he was being snickered at, but worst of all was Luka and his sudden interest in this.
“I’d actually like to see them dance, just saying,” Luka raised his hands a bit in mock surrender, falling back onto the couch. “Though unfortunately they’d be locked away and unwatchable. Doesn’t bother me, but it's sad.”
“Make this fudanshi stop.” Hyuna narrowed her eyes before turning to Ivan with a smirk. “Till looking real devastated, man. Now get out.”
“Wait. Fuck do we even do?!” Till found himself sputtering out, disbelief clear in his expression. Hyuna only shrugged.
“I mean... if you really need condoms, I could quickly run up and buy some. We have a couple shops ne–”
“Nevermind.” Till muttered angrily under his breath, standing up to face Ivan. “Come on then.”
And Ivan accepted his hand with a small smile.
____
Till… Even with my head being cloudier than usual, this man wouldn’t leave my thoughts barren. Dim golden lights, Hyuna circling a bottle on the marble floor with Till opposite me… it was all enough. More than enough, actually.
He looked strangely vulnerable in a good way, slightly overgrown hair sticking to his face with a flushed face giving away how drunk he could be. It wasn’t usual for his eyes to be half lidded too. It obstructed the view of his teal eyes halfway, but even noticing that was a privilege.
I thought I was fairly sober, to be honest. Had a proper drink or two but was only slightly buzzed up. Could get a bit impulsive… but hopefully to a limit. Can’t have myself overdo pretences and make everyone leave me either.
… Huh? Didn’t expect to get Till after all this time. Practically lost hopes on it.
Oh, wow. He’s… giving me his hand. Taking it and dragging me away, and my heart can’t help but pound in my ears, feeling suddenly more awake as he shoved me into a room and locked us in. I might be dreaming at this point, it's not uncommon for me to.
After our silent staring contest, I started with a casual grin. “So, do you prefer it against a wall or a table–”
“Shut up!!” Till quickly interrupted, his face reddening more already. It was cute. “First Hyuna, now you. Just give me a fucking break man.”
“Alright, alright,” I put up my hands defensively, forcing a laugh, “I’ll stop with that. But still, anything you’re thinking of doing right now?”
“Um, no?” He sighed, plopping himself down on a nearby couch. “I’d rather wait around till the end, you’re too dodgy for me to trust you.”
“Till?! That wounds me…” I mocked a fake cry and grabbed my chest. “Would you seriously not trust your only childhood best friend??”
“I can tell you have something to say, just spit it out.”
“... I was thinking about the dance thing Luka recommended to us. Something we could do, couldn’t we?”
“I can’t dance.” Till replied flatly. I laughed at the immediate rejection of it.
“I can guide you! I had to take lots of dance lessons as a teenager, to blend well with my father’s clients at formal dinners. I still don’t know what else to do with this random skill.”
“... I’ll probably fuck it up, but whatever.” Ah, he gave in quickly? Expected a little more fight, but a pleasant change is always welcome.
“I see a radio over there. I’ll let it play and we can improvise whatever.” I stepped up to the rusted device, figuring out how to work it. “Pretty traditional one, could play more classic songs. Give me a moment.”
“Take your time. Preferably all seven minutes if you can.”
“So mean…”
____
Ivan stepped back as the radio turned on with a click, lending a hand to Till without looking. “Right, it’s turning on.”
“I can’t believe we’re bored enough for this.” Till placed his hand loosely onto Ivan’s, a weary expression on his face. “... A Mexican song? Oh, I know this one.”
“You do?” Ivan looked a little surprised, but didn’t question it. Till’s knowledge on random things was always a little endearing. “Well, it is a traditional one, the translation meaning ‘kiss me a lot’. Pretty romantic, isn’t it?”
“... Don’t even think about it.” Till stopped him before he could get teased further. “I’ve seen people doing stuff like, the tango to this. Not that I mind, though it seems pretty personal–”
“Shh, just join me.” He suddenly lowered his voice, intertwining their hands as he lifted them. “The music has started, don’t mind the details.”
Ivan placed a hand on Till’s back for support, the other bringing his knee up as the two leaned forward. The simple feeling of arms around Ivan’s shoulders was enough to numb his mind senseless, noticing Till’s messy fluster as he was pushed into a slow dip.
In another abrupt move they straightened back up, Ivan’s touches careful but poised as his hand slid to Till’s waist. His chest pressed flush against Till’s for a close embrace, taking the lead by walking backwards in close steps with his partner. He could tell Till struggled with transferring weight from one foot to another… but Ivan still found himself fairly impressed. For someone who couldn’t dance, he sure knew how to match his partner’s movements with surprising accuracy.
Ivan turned slightly as he spoke up, hinting a move by shifting his weight. “You can’t dance?”
Till followed the shift by rotating his left foot, tightening his grip on Ivan’s hand as he spun himself. He seemed too frustrated and red to speak, so Ivan was surprised he even acknowledged the comment. “... Mizi.”
“Yes?”
“When we were younger. Mizi is obviously a professional dancer for a reason, she was amazing even a couple years back.”
“No way.” Ivan smirked in disbelief, stepping into the space Till was about to put a foot on. “You asked Mizi to teach you dancing just so you could spend some time with her. I always wondered why you were so ‘busy on fridays’.”
“Shut up.” Till adjusted to the sudden change in their dance, though shakily. “Stop messing and stabilise me already.”
“You’ll manage it yourself.” He laughed softly, helping his partner turn again.
“Fuck yourself.”
“Why would I when you can do that to me instead?”
Till glared at him as a final warning, making Ivan laugh again as they paused with the music. “Sorry. You think those seven minutes are up yet?”
“... Don’t care. Lowkey don’t want to face Hyuna’s teasing paired up with yours, it's better to stay away for my own mental wellbeing.”
“Wow, Till…” Ivan gasped playfully, pulling his chest back slightly for Till to follow. “I can’t believe the day would come when you actually prefer me over anyone else.”
“Can’t believe it either, trust me.” His hand lifted to grip Ivan’s shoulder, unsteady for a moment as Ivan glided them through the floor at a quicker pace.
… Till was feeling too embarrassed. Maybe even ashamed, though he was unsure why. Maybe because he felt he couldn’t match the other’s experience and wasn’t good enough or something? Ivan danced surprisingly well without Till even noticing it for years. What more did the man in front of him really know? What more did he himself not know?
It’s fine, it wasn’t like Ivan would really judge him. At least, not for something like this. Besides, it's none of his business what Ivan’s up to.
Till finally stopped averting his eyes, glancing up to meet Ivan’s stronger gaze. He… hadn’t seen eye to eye with him the whole time. But he was curious.
Ivan’s hair was messier than usual tonight, his shirt thin and clinging to him loosely while the sweat gave him an effortlessly drenched look. It was true that tonight was uncomfortably warm... though it was still illegal how good Ivan looked. And now that Till noticed, his expression was also a mixture of amusement and mild surprise. It was nice to catch him off guard for once.
“You’re checking me out very blatantly.” He heard Ivan snicker, but he shrugged it off with a regrowing blush.
“You look good.”
“Really?” Ivan found himself entertained, though he went quiet when Till didn’t reply.
There was a strange look on his face. Almost contemplative, which would normally be odd enough to be laughable on Till. But the man was spacing out, his silver strands spilling through Ivan’s fingers as they momentarily shifted to his neck. He followed the dance subconsciously anyway, though what stood out as strange was how Till continued the gaze.
The attention was unusual.
It was softer, thoughtful. Almost something more… and Ivan couldn’t help but be captured by that presence of teal. Another blink, another flicker before that colour returned, and Ivan found himself too entranced for words.
Experimentally, Till lifted his leg and pulled his torso away slightly, his waist pressed up against Ivan’s. After a swift motion of Till hooking his leg around his body it fell, feeling the linger of touch on his thigh before he turned himself.
Ivan pulled him in with the twist, a shaky exhale escaping Till as his back pressed into the other. He noticed Ivan’s head leaning over his shoulder, hot breaths caressing his neck, head tilting to get a better view of his partner’s face. They moved in closer until their lips almost touched, Till’s eyes falling for a moment before pulling away.
Okay, there was definitely something wrong with him. Did Hyuna drug his drinks or something? How is he even feeling like this, let alone tolerating Ivan in the first place? It didn't help that Ivan was looking at him really weirdly. It almost knocked the fucking air out of him.
His gaze was too… intense. Till would probably wince if he described it as a look ‘full of love’, though that was probably Ivan's version of that. At least he meant well, though the darkness in his eyes only aroused Till more than making the situation loving. The sensation of their bodies pressed together likely wasn’t helping either, Ivan guiding them forward by crossing his legs into Till’s with the steps.
“Don’t trip.” Ivan warned with a playful smile, his hold on Till steady. The other returned a quick glare, his eyes still lingering on Ivan’s face.
“Fuck you,” Till muttered angrily, pulling himself off and suddenly shoving Ivan against a wall. His breathing had grown more erratic as he pinned the taller man and searched for a reaction, only the same quiet smile returning him.
“Hmm? Why stop the dance?” Ivan questioned lazily, his eyes downcast as he held Till close. One of his hands glided back to the hem of Till’s shirt, touching the bare skin under.
Till jumped a little, kicking Ivan’s knee after. “Stop fucking doing that… your fingers are cold as shit.”
“So you did notice me do it earlier. But didn’t mind it enough to push me away… aww. Till does enjoy how I touch him, doesn’t he…”
“That sounds dodgy as hell.” Till grimaced at the remark, somehow making Ivan laugh in the process. “The bills cannot be this high for you to want to touch me.”
“Why?” Ivan hummed, genuinely curious. “I’d be willing for anything at no price for you.”
“... Ew.” Till narrowed his eyes with disgust. “Just kiss me before I regret even making the first move.”
And with a quick sweep Till’s back collided against the wall, lips parting as his arms eagerly caught the other’s shoulders. An unfamiliar warmth rushed to his face as Ivan’s hands slid there, steadying him while their mouths moved with clumsy impatience. Ivan was kissing him with underlying hesitance though, making no clear move to deepen their movements.
Till broke it off after a while, a quiet sigh escaping him. “Just do it properly.”
Ivan looked a little worked up, confusion seeping into his expression. He was… stunned, to describe it best. “You want to continue?”
“What, with kissing you?” Till felt lost, because why shouldn’t he want something he initiated? “Yeah. Need me to spell out ‘consent’? You’re an English literature student-”
"Alright, alright," He managed a laugh, "Was just confirming in case you regretted that and needed a moment to back out."
Ah.
A strange pang of guilt washed over Till. "We can... talk about this tomorrow, if that's what you're wondering. It's still my choice, I'm not that wasted and I wouldn't just... mess around with someone, y'know. Especially when I know them for a while now."
So just relax for tonight.
A quiet reassurance, carrying a deeper meaning— that this was more than a casual, drunken stupor of tangled bodies and limbs. Their bodies reunited as they drew closer with each hurried kiss, swift, heated movements intertwining them as one as Ivan gently propped Till’s knee up, slotting himself deeper in the space between them. Till’s fingers ghosted cautiously over Ivan’s chest, feeling the quickened beat of his racing heart as he undid his loose shirt, their minds buzzing with equal fervour.
Even as their clothes undid to a heap on the floor, Ivan was aware. And he would give, not assuming his presence served as a fling to Till's night and desires... but that instead, Till truly meant what he was trying to imply.
That Ivan would be acknowledged. He would trust that intuition, however ridiculous it may sound.
And if their future could change under Till's fingertips, pulling Ivan into another kiss to mean something more, Till could try. Try embracing something different… and to not look away for another life.