Archive of Our Own ^beta

Katsuki scowls down at his desk, tapping his pen impatiently against his notebook as he stares at the chalkboard, trying to drown out the excited chatters of his classmates around him. 

“Morning, Kacchan!”

“Hey, ne—“ Katsuki looks up at Izuku’s voice and freezes as he sees his face. 

“What the fuck are those?” Katsuki blurts out, blinking rapidly as Izuku moves past him.

“Oh! My new glasses! After everything that happened, I guess my eyes were super strained after using One for All at maximum for so long and it started messing with my vision and sometimes when I read for too long, so Recovery Girl gave me these!” Izuku chirps happily, taking his seat behind him as Katsuki turns around in his chair, his eyes following his face.

He stares at him, at the dark brown, tortoise shell glasses framing his face, light reflecting off them from the fluorescents above them. Izuku blinks at him, his green eyes squinting in slight confusion as he tilts his head at him and Katsuki’s chest thumps.

“Tch. Thought you couldn’t get any fucking nerdier.” Katsuki scoffs out quickly before Izuku can say anything, turning around to try and shake off the weird feeling in his stomach.

“Shut up, Kacchan.” Izuku grumbles behind him, but Katsuki can hear the smile in his voice as Aizawa shushes them and begins talking.

Katsuki tunes him out, keeping his eyes trained on the chalkboard in front of him. Why the fuck does he care if Izuku got glasses? He still looked the fucking same, maybe nerdier, and almost older. 

It was no secret that the war had changed all of them, some more than others, but surprisingly, Izuku had somehow managed to keep it all together, more often comforting someone else than the other way around. Most people in their class had their designated person, the person they sought out when the memories and nightmares got to be too much to handle in the dark of their rooms.

Izuku was Katsuki’s, and Katsuki was his, but Izuku had also slowly become that person for everyone. He always knew what to say to help them breathe, when to offer them a comforting touch or give them space, or when to stay silent and let them cry it out with his arm around their shoulders. 

Katsuki couldn’t figure out how he was doing it. He saw Izuku after all of it, he saw the horrors that splayed across his face in those moments, and after he lost One for All, and he just couldn’t understand why Izuku wasn’t affected by it like everyone else, even after a year, or at the very least, was pretending he wasn’t.

Izuku’s entire life had changed in less than a year, flipped completely on its head, and it had seemed like he was completely fine. Still crying over dumb things, still muttering when he got excited, still too willing to help others before himself, but overall, normal. 

Katsuki knew him better than anyone and it was driving him fucking insane that he couldn’t figure out what was going on inside his head. He knew Izuku was going to snap, he had to, there was no way he would be able to bottle everything up, and Katsuki would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t scared for that day to come. He didn’t know why he cared so much, or how his line of thinking went from Izuku in glasses led to this, but there was something about everything he and Izuku had gone through that made him want to poke and prod and inspect every part of Izuku to understand what was going through his head.

So how the fuck didn’t he notice Izuku needed glasses?

Katsuki thinks back to their numerous movie nights, Izuku’s chin in his palm, leaning far forward on the couch arm rest and slightly squinting at the screen. Katsuki passed off his unwillingness to learn to drive as just another part of his anxiety. Bottles of aspirin on his bedside table and backpack for the aches he assumed were from his many healed broken bones rather than headaches from strained eyes. It’s not like he’d see him fucking squinting at the board, sitting in front of him.

Katsuki tucks his chin in his hand, furrowing his eyebrows as he tries to listen to Aizawa. However, he finds himself leaning at an angle slightly, just enough to glance back at Izuku hunched over his desk, scribbling in his notebook, looking up every so often with his glasses on the edge of his nose to read the board. 

Katsuki steals another glance at him, his eyes catching his gaze for a moment as Izuku looks up and Katsuki quickly flicks his eyes back towards the front, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest.

Twirling his pen between his fingers, Katsuki leans forward and rests his elbows on the table, leaning the side of his head against his other hand before bringing his pen back down and sighing. 

He taps his pen against the table to the beat of the music playing in his headphones, scanning the pages of his textbook while writing in his notebook next to it. 

He glances up at Izuku, sitting across the table, bopping his head along to the music playing through the single headphone loosely dangling from his ear. 

Katsuki snorts quietly before he sees Izuku bring his hand up and rub his head, wincing slightly as he presses his fingers to his temple. Glancing down and taking his headphones out, Katsuki flips his current sheet of paper and rips out a fresh piece, crushing it into a ball in his palm and throws it at Izuku.

The crumpled paper hits him in the nose and he jolts up in surprise, his loose headphone finally falling out of his ear.

“What was that for?” Izuku says, rubbing his nose as he pouts dramatically and Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Nothing in particular,” He responds, shrugging, “You good?” 

“Yeah, my head just kinda hurts.” Izuku says quietly, subconsciously rubbing his temple again.

“Where the fuck are your glasses?” Katsuki asks, glancing up and down to see if they were tucked anywhere in his clothes.

“Uh, in my room,” Izuku says, pausing before looking down, “I think.”

“Go get them. You’re fucking distracting me.” Katsuki responds firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. Izuku rolls his eyes before slumping forward dramatically and standing up, slowly trudging towards the door in protest.

Katsuki just scoffs and shoos him out of the kitchen as he picks up his headphones to stick them back in his ear.

“Like I’m the distracting one.” Izuku mumbles under his breath as he slinks out of the kitchen and Katsuki snaps his head up as he hears him muttering out the door.

“What was that, you damn nerd?” He shouts out after him and he hears Izuku yelp in the hallway before his feet scurry away down the hall.

“Nothing! Be right back!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and puts his headphones back in, trying to refocus himself on his homework, but his mind keeps wandering back to Izuku’s pained expression. 

He was annoyed at Izuku for, once again, failing to take basic care of himself, but he was also still irritated with himself that he didn’t notice he needed glasses in the first place. It felt like every time he saw him now, he was eyeing him up and down, trying to figure out the tells he’d missed out on before. He felt stupid, caring so much about a dumb pair of glasses, but he reasons he just thinks he should’ve caught it, with Izuku of all people. But he also kept thinking back to that stubborn, odd feeling in his stomach that bubbled up when he saw Izuku in them.

Katsuki didn’t like it. He couldn’t deny the odd skip in his heart when he saw him, brown frames outlining his bright, energetic eyes, but that didn’t mean he fucking liked it. 

He scowls down at his notes, writing a little more aggressively as he tries to focus on the music in his ears and the words on the page. But soon the music starts to overstimulate him as his mind fights over what he should think about.

He just starts to refocus himself when he feels a soft thud on his head and he looks at the table to see the crumpled piece of paper sitting on his notebook.

Looking up with a glare, he sees Izuku leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed with his brown rimmed glasses framing his eyes, and Katsuki feels that thump in his chest again.

“Happy?” 

“Whatever.”

Izuku laughs lightly as he walks over and pulls his chair back to sit down, leaning forward to write in his notebook again, glasses nudged ever so slightly down his nose. Katsuki watches him sit, staring at him for a moment before shaking his head slightly and looking back down. He glances at his headphones splayed across the table and grunts, grabbing them and shoving them into his pocket before leaning on his palm as he tries to focus, gripping his pen tightly.

He hears a soft voice across from him, and Katsuki glances up to see Izuku, headphoneless, mumbling to himself as he reads along the pages of his book. 

Katsuki sits there for a moment, listening to his quiet mutters along with the hum of the ceiling fan, and he relaxes his grip on his pen slightly before focusing himself and looking down to read.

Time passes, and Katsuki is able to relax enough to actually finish his anatomy homework, moving onto taking notes as Izuku grumbles and anxiously exhales loudly across from the table.

Izuku sighs, leaning back in his chair and pushing his glasses up into his hair, causing little tuffs of green curls to spurt wildly in the air as he rubs his shoulder.

Katsuki glances up, looking up and down as he stares at Izuku’s sleepy face trying not to yawn, his hair slightly tousled from running his fingers through it, and his hands, rubbing his neck. His scarred fingers tugging at the curls at the back of his head. His fingertips lightly running along the side of his face, drumming as his eyes flick across the pages in front of him. His hand flexing as he jots down notes in his notebook and–

What the fuck? Stop looking at his fucking hands.

Katsuki shakes his head and forces his eyes back down towards his books in front of him, but he keeps glancing up, waiting for something, but he’s not sure what exactly.

Comfortable silence continues to envelop them, the only sounds coming from Izuku’s quiet mumbling, the distant sound of feet running upstairs and muffled conversations from the stairwell. Katsuki glances up at the clock and sees he’s got about thirty minutes before he can make a reasonable excuse and get the fuck out and figure out why his heart was pounding so aggressively. 

“Kacchan, did you finish number eight?” Katsuki looks up to see Izuku staring at him with his chin in his palm, eyes tired but still shining, holding out his notebook with their anatomy homework.

“Mhm.” He responds simply before looking back down.

“Can you help me?”

“Izuku, how the fuck do you not know anatomy when you break your goddamn bones every other day?”

“Stop, you know I don’t do that anymore.” Izuku huffs out, pushing his papers further towards Katsuki, “I just get confused with the different types of cells and neurons and synapses and all that. The brain’s hard.”

“Yeah ‘cause yours is fucking tiny.” Katsuki rolls his eyes and pulls the notebook towards him, glancing down at Izuku’s scrawled handwriting before shaking his head.

“I can barely read your fucking chicken scratch, but you accidentally confused the Peripheral and Central Nervous Systems in your explanation, that’s why it doesn’t make fucking sense. PNS connects to the CNS, they work together so they’re more complementary than contrasting,” Katsuki explains, pointing to the diagram in their textbook and Izuku peeks over to look, “Come on, I know you fucking know this.” 

“Hm,” Izuku hums, tugging his notebook back towards him, before glancing up at Katsuki with a smile, “Thanks, Kacchan. That makes sense, you’re so smart.”

“Whatever. Just shut up and do your work.” Katsuki says, about to roll his eyes, but he halts as he sees Izuku sigh as he looks back down and gently tugs his glasses back down, letting them slip slightly on his nose as he scrunches his face up in concentration. 

Katsuki swallows hard and quickly looks down, trying to focus on the nervous system in his textbook rather than his own.

He must just be tired. Or this was some weird side effect of his patched up heart, that must be it. He’s known Izuku his whole life, without glasses, so this is just him getting used to it. Getting used to him looking nerdier, how often he had to readjust them due to his frantic movements, getting used to how soft he looked at night under the glow of kitchen lights, how his eyes were—

Katsuki grunts in annoyance at his own brain and tightens his grip on his pen, trying to concentrate on the words ahead of him. 

“Kacchan?”

“What do you want?”

“Do you want to watch a movie or something tonight?”

“I’m going to fucking bed soon.”

“But it’s only 7 and it’s a Friday!” Izuku pouts, furrowing his eyebrows at him.

“Don’t fucking care.” Katsuki responds without looking up, flipping to the next page of his textbook.

“Come on, Kacchan, we’ve been here for, like, four hours. I’m bored, let’s do something fun!”

“No.” 

“But—”

“No, you look fucking exhausted.”

“Kacchan, please?” Izuku puts his chin in his palm again and looks up at him, his bright eyes peeking over his glasses that have shifted down his nose.

Katsuki stares back, his heart picking up slightly as Izuku tilts his head at him, but he inhales and shoves his oddly beating heart back down, rolling his eyes and nodding.

“Fine. Fucking whatever. But we’re finishing this shit first.”

“Yay!” Izuku exclaims, clapping his hands together as Katsuki tries to turn his attention back to his homework.

Jesus fucking Christ, Katsuki, fucking focus. He tells himself as he keeps his head firmly down, but his eyes betray him as he keeps glancing up at Izuku. His cheeks are slightly pink, humming happily as his eyes scan the pages in front of him from behind his glasses, his dimples partly visible as a small smile is etched into his cheeks.

Katsuki swallows the growing lump in his throat and brings his hand up to his head, pretending to rub his forehead as he firmly blocks his view of Izuku.

“Slow down, Kacchan!” Izuku whines, trailing behind Katsuki as he pushes open the track gates.

“Fucking hurry up then, slow poke.”

“I don’t want to have to run to my run!” Izuku huffs out, bumping into Katsuki’s shoulder as he comes next to him as they approach the bench.

“Whatever, you’re just fucking slow.”

“Your legs are longer than mine!” Izuku protests and Katsuki just rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

“Fuckin’ excuses. Are we still sparring after?” Katsuki asks, glancing up at him before grabbing his water out of his bag and setting it on the bench.

“Can we skip today?” Izuku sighs, dropping his bag next to his, “My head’s been killing me all day, and I think calculus made it worse.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes before quickly looking back at him, eyes darting around his face as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“Where are your fucking glasses?” He asks, his eyes glancing down to his bag.

“Back in my room. Didn’t want to break them and I don’t really need them when I run.” Izuku responds simply, bringing his arms up and stretching his back.

“Hm,” Katsuki furrows his eyebrows, shoving off the weird, almost disappointed feeling in his chest and just shrugs, grabbing his water bottle to take a sip before nodding Izuku towards the track, “Yeah, we can skip, but that just means I’m kicking your ass extra fucking hard tomorrow.”

“You act like I didn’t expect that.” Izuku responds with a laugh, “And you always try to kick my ass extra hard.”

“Don’t want you fucking slacking, nerd.” Katsuki replies, shoving his shoulder lightly as they walk over to the track.

“As if you’d let me.” Izuku rolls his eyes, smiling over at him as they start to jog.

Katsuki smirks slightly and turns his head forward, focusing on the stretch in his legs as he glances out at campus beyond the track gates. 

He and Izuku had started running together every Thursday night, after dinner, running a few slow miles along the track as the sun sank behind the buildings, casting soft rays of orange light over the grass. He’d teased Izuku at first for being lame and wanting a damn view while he worked out, but he’d come to like the distraction, watching the way the sun gradually darkened, and then quickly hid behind the trees as Izuku chatted away next to him. But more often than not, they ran in silence for long chunks of time, the only noise between them was the faint sounds of their heavy breathing and their sneakers hitting the track below. He liked these runs with Izuku, his head clear and calm by the end of their few miles together. 

During one of these runs, Katsuki had accidentally let a very specific fact about grizzly bears slip, making Izuku trip as he scrambled to ask him if he had watched the same documentary that he did, which of course he fucking had. This then led to Izuku begging him to watch one with him after their run, which Katsuki almost too easily agreed to, but he did really fucking like nature documentaries. The next week, Izuku asked again, and Katsuki said yes, and then he kept saying yes until Izuku stopped asking and just started knocking on his door.

Katsuki glances over at Izuku next to him, his cheeks flushed as he bounces easily along the track, the edges of his hair almost glowing as they catch the light from the setting sun, and Katsuki swallows hard as he looks away, trying to refocus and not trip over his own feet as the thudding in his chest grows louder.

Trying to keep his head clear, Katsuki keeps his eyes firmly ahead of him, only glancing out at the painted sky above every so often, trying to ignore the rapid beating. He slows down a little, figuring he can blame it on his patched up heart if Izuku says anything, but he never does when Katsuki slows down a little sooner than he used to. 

Izuku slows his pace down too, his shoulder lightly bumping into Katsuki’s as he looks over at him, his eyes shining against the darkening sky, “Last lap?”

“Sure, whatever.” Katsuki looks ahead, trying to focus himself, irritated that his usual relaxing run was being sidelined by his dumb heartbeat and Izuku distracting him. Still, he can’t help but glance over at him out of the corner of his eye every so often.

“Are we still watching that documentary series we started after we shower?” 

“Depends,” Katsuki responds smoothly, keeping his eyes forward, “Did you fucking watch ahead again?”

“No,” Izuku huffs out, his cheeks flushing slightly darker, “I learned my lesson the last time. I prefer my shoelaces unburnt, thank you very much. But in my defense, I didn’t even watch the full episode, I just wanted to see what happened to the elephant mom and her baby!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and stays silent, as they round the track one last time, slowing down as they approach the bench with their bags.

“So? We’re watching tonight, right?” Izuku asks again, bouncing slightly as he bumps into Katsuki’s shoulder.

“Whatever. I just want to see those crocs fuck some shit up again.” Katsuki replies, slinging his bag over this shoulder.

“You always like the crocs the best no matter what we watch.” Izuku laughs, picking up his backpack and shoving his water into it.

“They haven’t evolved in, like, two hundred million fucking years, they’re the peak of evolution. Shit’s sick.” Katsuki replies, grabbing his water and gulping it down, trying to calm his still racing heart.

They pack up in comfortable silence, stretching out their legs again before heading towards the dorms. Katsuki closes his eyes and breathes in, the cooling evening air soothing his lungs. As he opens them, he lets his eyes settle on the treeline, dark green leaves swaying with the breeze, and despite his distractions, his head does feel a little clearer than it did before.

“You okay?” Izuku pipes up, turning and tilting his head at him, “You seemed a little distant while we were running.”

“Yeah,” Katsuki glances over and clears his throat before returning his eyes back to the trees, “I’m good, just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Mind your damn business, nosy.” Katsuki elbows him and Izuku lightly shoves him off

“Okay, okay, fine, I won’t press, but you know you can always talk to me if you want.” Izuku keeps his eyes on him, and Katsuki just rolls his eyes and nods.

“Yeah, yeah, fucking whatever. Shut up.” Katsuki grumbles and Izuku laughs, the sound chiming out over the dark, empty campus and Katsuki swallows hard as he fights to keep his eyes off him.

“Can we watch in your room?” Izuku asks hopefully, looking over at Katsuki again, turning slightly so he can look at his face as Katsuki keeps his eyes firmly forward.

“Obviously, your room’s always a fucking mess,” Katsuki smirks, glancing over to see Izuku rolling his eyes, and then he eyes him up and down suspiciously, “But why?”

“No reason.” Izuku hums, tilting his head up to watch the last of the sun slip behind the trees, painting the sky a deep purple, but Katsuki can see his cheeks still flushed from their run.

“Hm,” Katsuki replies quietly, “Whatever, sure.”

And when Izuku showed up at his room that night, glasses crooked on his nose with his arms full of all the pillows and blankets he could carry and a bag of popcorn between in his teeth, barging in and demanding that Katsuki get out his futon so they could make one gigantic fort of pillows and blankets, Katsuki’s heart skipped about fifty beats. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes and smile a little, before dragging his futon out from under his bed.

Katsuki groans and spits, blood splattering on the concrete below him as he turns to look at one of the meathead goons in front of him, his fist still clenched and bloodied from Katsuki’s face.

“Man,” Katsuki pants, tilting his head up with a smirk, “You’re one ugly ass motherfucker, aren’t you?” 

The villain scowls, raising his fist up again before he stops as a disapproving voice comes from behind him.

“Still haven’t learned to control that mouth, have you, boy?” The voice mocks, and Katsuki growls and aggressively yanks against the chains securing him to the wall as he sees Shigaraki slink out of the shadows.

“You don’t want to know what my fucking mouth has to say about you, you grimy son of a bitch.” Katsuki snaps, his stomach churning in anger.

“Oh, well. It doesn't matter anyway. You’re not the main event, you little brat, which I’m sure must be tough for you to hear.”

“Then who the fuck else would be?” Katsuki scoffs, rolling his eyes until it hits him and he freezes for a moment before he frantically looks back up at Shigaraki, who’s smirking victoriously down at him as he squats down, just a foot from Katsuki pulling furiously against his restraints.

“No, no, you fucking asshole—”

“Will he come for you, little hero?” Shigaraki sneers, chuckling lightly as he tilts his head at him, “He’s too predictable, coming to save his precious Kacchan.”

“Shut the fuck up, you dusty ass freak.” Katsuki bites out, glaring at him as he continues struggles against the hard metal on his wrists, “Don’t fucking touch him, I’ll fucking end you.”

“Maybe if he doesn’t come in time, I’ll just kill you instead. Make him find your lifeless corpse before I kill him, you can be a nice little gift for him. What’s another  dead hero, huh?” Shigaraki chuckles again, standing up as he takes a few steps back.

“You won’t fucking touch him, you bastard. I’ll fucking kill you and all your pathetic fucking goons before you can lay a damn gross ass finger on him.” Katsuki snarls before he spits at Shigaraki’s feet, who just tsk’s disapprovingly.

The door suddenly bursts open, and he looks up frantically to see Izuku standing in the doorway, chest heaving as he looks back at him wildly, a huge smile and relief spreading across his face, and Katsuki’s heart drops.

“Kacchan!” Izuku shouts, taking a running step inside with his hand outstretched towards him.

“Izuku, no, get the fuck out!” Katsuki tries to yell, but no words come out, just hoarse attempts at speech, like there was a hand wrapped around his throat, cutting off his voice.

Hands emerge from the darkness, grabbing Izuku by the shoulders and forcing him down onto his knees, cuffs slapped harshly on his wrists behind his back.

“No.” Katsuki weakly manages to get out as Shigaraki crosses the room with a wicked smile as he shakes his head at Izuku.

“Deku, so nice of you to join us!” Shigaraki smirks, tilting Izuku’s chin up with one finger as Izuku glares at him furiously, “I knew you couldn’t refuse an invitation with your little Kacchan. So predictable.”

“Let him go.” Izuku snarls, yanking his head away from Shigaraki’s hands as he looks back towards Katsuki, his eyes wide and panicked as his eyes dart around to figure out how he could get him loose.

“No, I don’t think I will.” Shigaraki laughs

“Take me instead, I don’t care, just let him go, give him back, please.” Izuku begs, his eyes still flicking back and forth from Shigaraki and Katsuki, who is frantically shaking his head at him.

“Izuku, shut the fuck up.” Katsuki growls out, glaring at Shigaraki as he continues to yank against his restraints, feeling them give slightly against the wall after his numerous hours of thrashing.

“Oh, I will be taking you first, little hero,” Shigaraki replies coolly, glancing back at Katsuki with a smirk as he wiggles his fingers in a wave at him, “I just wanted a proper audience while I do.”

“No, no, no.” Katsuki whimpers out, tugging roughly as Shigaraki grins at him before turning back to Izuku.

Izuku’s eyes widen as he glances at Shigaraki’s raised hand, his panicked gaze then shifting towards Katsuki behind him, who is frantically yanking himself against his restraints, desperately trying to get out and destroy everyone he could get his hands on.

“It’s been fun, but it’s time to say goodbye to Kacchan now.” Shigaraki smirks, lifting one finger up, and Katsuki tries to scream, but again, no sound comes out as the distance between him and Izuku seems to stretch out further each time he blinks.

Izuku glances up at Shigaraki, eyes flicking to his hand, before he closes his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply, and he opens them again to settle his gaze on Katsuki.

His expression makes Katsuki choke, his eyes gentle and accepting, and he gives Katsuki a weak smile, and nods softly at him. Katsuki keeps shaking his head, his wrists burning from pulling against the metal cuffs.

“Goodbye, Deku.” Shigaraki says with a grin, bringing his hand down on Izuku’s shoulder, and as he does, his suit and skin starts to flake, slowly disintegrating into the air as Izuku gasps. Shigaraki releases his hand, nodding at the two holding Izuku down, and they release him into a heap onto the ground.

Katsuki chokes once more before he finally rips his restraints off the wall, launching himself across the room with chains dragging behind him. Shigaraki and the rest of them fade away and he falls to the ground to scramble towards Izuku.

“No, no, no, please, no.” Katsuki whispers harshly, his voice catching as he grabs Izuku’s other remaining shoulder, frantically looking around as the left side of his body continues flaking into the dark, dismal room.

“No, no, no, you’re not fucking dying on me, you fucking bastard, y-you’re not going first, no fucking way.” Katsuki chokes out, his eyes burning with tears as Izuku shakes his head slightly.

“It’s okay, Kacchan.” Izuku says softly, his voice thick and Katsuki shakes his head wildly.

“No, no, it’s fucking not. Y-You can’t do this, I can’t lose you, I can’t—“

“Kacchan.” Katsuki stops and looks up to see Izuku staring at him, and he nods softly again, “It’s okay.”

“No, no, don’t do this, please don’t leave me,” Katsuki whimpers out, frantically collecting what was left of Izuku’s body and pulling it up tightly against him, his hand gripping the back of his head, fisting in his hair, as he feels him slowly slip through his fingers, “Fucking— please.”

He glances down at Izuku’s face, quickly moving to hold his cheeks to keep touching him as the rest of him starts to fade and he desperately tries to find any sort of light in Izuku’s eyes as he chokes down a sob.

“Izuku, please.” Katsuki whispers hoarsely as Izuku's eyes flutter shut and then, all that’s left in Katsuki’s hands is his own blood from ripping off his restraints. He stares down at his mangled hands, frozen on the ground, and his blood is pounding in his ears, as his heart turns to stone.

Katsuki feels overwhelming rage and heartbreak surge through him as he stares at his empty hands. He tries to scream, tries to let out the emotions pounding their fists and howling in his chest, as he tries to find any scrap of the memory of Izuku on the ground, but no sound comes out, just hoarse whispers of screams. He starts to panic more at the lack of noise as he curls into a ball on the ground, desperately trying to scream, until he feels a dull kick against his back.

He freezes, and then slowly sits up, turning around with murder in his eyes as he glares at Shigaraki, looming over him.

“I was going to kill you, too. But now, it seems it would be more fitting to let you live without him. For you, that’s a punishment worse than death, isn’t it?”

Katsuki gasps awake, clawing at his chest as his heart pounds dangerously against his ribs. His lungs are burning as he desperately tries to breathe, but his lungs are pulling and pushing out air faster than he can keep up. He grips his sheets, trying to ground himself, attempting to count his breaths as he inhales and exhales rapidly. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to focus on the soft sounds of the night, the creaking of his bed underneath his shaking body, the soft hooting of an owl outside his window, and he exhales hard once again as he finally gets somewhat of a handle on his breathing after a few minutes.

His head was pounding, and his chest was aching, his heart still beating hard against his ribs. He gulps, grasping at his bedside table for his water bottle as he chugs, gasping as he finishes it.

Setting his water down, Katsuki brings his knees up and leans on his elbows, putting his head in his hands, groaning. He hadn’t had a nightmare that bad in weeks, not bad enough where he had to physically work to calm himself down. More specifically, he hadn’t had that nightmare in months.

He gulps again, trying to keep his breathing steady as he flops back down onto his pillow, rubbing his eyes, but the second he closes them, he sees Izuku’s face slipping through his fingers again and his eyes shoot open.

Glancing at his door, Katsuki hesitates for a second before he quickly grabs his pillow and puts his slippers on, silently slipping out the door before he can change his mind. The hallway was eerily quiet, with just the faint sounds of the building settling in the walls breaking the silence as Katsuki quietly makes his way down the stairs towards the second floor.

He pauses in front of Izuku’s door, his hand on the door handle as he breathes in deeply before slowly trying the lock. The door softly creaks open, and Katsuki exhales in relief as he opens it, peeking his head in. His eyes land on Izuku, sprawled out on his bed, one leg dangling off as he clutches a pillow against him, his notebooks pushed to the floor, and Katsuki’s heart rate slows down as he looks at him. He gulps before exhaling deeply, his eyes trained on Izuku’s chest rising and falling evenly as he steps inside.

Softly closing the door behind him, he looks back up, and notices Izuku’s glasses are still on, pushed up on his face, halfway between his eyes and forehead, smushed against his cheek. Katsuki smiles to himself and shakes his head, lightly tossing his pillow on the floor next to Izuku’s bed, before leaning over and softly tugging his glasses off his face. 

He folds them up gently, putting them on Izuku’s bedside table as he hears Izuku shift beside him, and he glances over to see him slowly blinking from his pillow.

“Mm, Kacchan?” Izuku murmurs, his eyes still half closed, but he smiles softly up at him regardless.

“Go back to sleep.” Katsuki whispers, squatting down to his eye level as Izuku blinks.

“No, let me…mm, let me get the futon for you.” Izuku mumbles, lazily picking his head up, but Katsuki lightly shoves his head back down on the pillow.

“Shh. I’ll get it. Go back to sleep. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Katsuki replies quietly, ruffling his hair gently as Izuku sighs into his pillow, closing his eyes again.

“Mmkay. Just don’t put it too far away, please.” Izuku breathes out, snuggling further down into his sheets, and Katsuki feels himself smile again at Izuku’s relaxed expression. 

He leans over and pulls the futon out from under his bed, softly dragging it out next to Izuku, and he grabs the blanket tucked next to it before flopping down on his pillow on his stomach.

He exhales loudly as he feels his heartbeat start to fully slow down, relaxing as he listens to Izuku’s soft, calm breathing from above him. As Katsuki closes his eyes and the image of a fading Izuku pops back up, he feels soft, gentle fingertips slowly start to run through the ends of his hair, lightly dragging their way through the strands, and Katsuki’s mind goes blank as he feels his body melt into the ground.

“You okay, Kacchan?” Izuku’s muffled, sleepy voice floats down from above, and Katsuki nods, breathing out as he lets his body relax, the tension from before slipping off his shoulders under Izuku’s fingertips.

“Yeah,” Katsuki whispers quietly, sighing out again as Izuku’s hand gently works its way deeper into his hair,  massaging his scalp lazily, and his eyes get heavy again as his whole body sighs under Izuku’s touch, “​​I’m okay now.”

“Okay, so are we thinking old school All Might or one of those old American comic book ones?” Izuku drops his bag and flops onto the couch, draping his arm around the back of the couch as he throws his legs haphazardly across Katsuki’s lap.

“We’ve both fucking hated all that American bullshit.” Katsuki half heartedly shoves his legs off, and Izuku’s ankles dangle lazily off one of Katsuki’s knees as Izuku leans against his elbow on the back of the couch. 

“Not Spider-Man!” Izuku argues, pointing at him, and Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Fucking fine, not Spider-Man, but you just like watching Andrew Garfield in spandex,” Katsuki shoots back with a smirk as Izuku flushes furiously, “Fucking pervert.”

“N-Not true! He’s not the best Peter Parker but he’s the best Spider-Man!” Izuku protests, picking his feet up and tucking them underneath him, and Katsuki feels slightly colder as his legs leave his.

“Sure, nerd, okay,” Katsuki scoffs sarcastically and Izuku kicks him lightly, “But why the fuck would you wanna watch something we both hate?”

“Because I like making fun of them with you.” Izuku shrugs, glancing over at the TV.

“You like listening to me bitch and moan?” Katsuki snorts, looking over at him and Izuku looks back and grins.

“Wouldn’t wanna sit and listen to anyone else bitch and moan, Kacchan.” Izuku laughs out, chiming and clear, and Katsuki swallows hard and looks away as his heart picks up at the sound.

“Whatever. Pick what you want, I don’t fucking care.” Katsuki replies, clearing his throat as he tosses Izuku the remote.

“Mm, let’s do old school All Might. I’m feeling nostalgic.” Izuku hums, picking up the remote and scrolling through.

“Yeah? Why’s that, nerd?” Katsuki asks, leaning against the couch and picking his arm up to rest against the back.

“We’re going to be graduating pretty soon, I guess I’m just gonna miss stuff like this. You know, being able to just knock on your door to hang out, it’s gonna be weird.” Izuku responds simply, keeping his gaze towards the TV, his head leaned against his palm.

“Fucking sap.” Katsuki responds, scoffing slightly, but his throat gets tight as he thinks about the next year, and the very real fact that he won’t be able to see Izuku like this all the time. He has no idea where they’ll both be in the next few years, he knew he would start his pro career, but he has no idea what Izuku’s plan was, he always had a way of changing the subject when it got brought up.

He glances at the TV, then back at Izuku, trying to push down the uncomfortable, cold feeling in his chest as he tries to settle into the couch.

“Like you’re not going to miss everyone.” Izuku rolls his eyes, pressing play and wriggling down against the cushions.

“Won’t miss them in my damn kitchen. I’ve probably lost 50 meals in total to Kaminari’s sticky fucking fingers.”

“You have to admit he’s really good at stealing food.” Izuku laughs, leaning his head on his hand against the arm of the couch.

“Yeah it’s the one time he’s fucking quiet.” Katsuki snorts, and Izuku lightly kicks him again as he shakes his head.

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not being fucking mean, not necessarily a bad thing, he’s just the most ADHD fucker I’ve ever met, besides you. It’s just a fact that he’s a damn yapper,” Katsuki glances over and smirks at him, “Like you.”

“Yeah, whatever, you like my yaps, Kacchan.” Izuku rolls his eyes, glancing over at Katsuki with a small smile before turning back towards the TV. 

Katsuki looks at him for a moment longer and he feels the warmth in his chest bloom as he watches the reflection from the TV bounce off his glasses, illuminating his bright green eyes behind them, before he quickly turns his attention back to the movie.

The movie plays on, and Katsuki works desperately to push down the uncomfortable emotions settling in his chest as Izuku’s words about graduation stubbornly stick in his head. 

He didn’t like unknowns with Izuku. Their entire complicated friendship was full of unknowns, and they’d moved past it, even if it took Katsuki a little longer to pull his head out of his ass. They told each other almost everything, no secrets, no hidden grudges or resentments, everything was in the open. 

For the most part. Obviously.

He liked that they were stable, predictable, that he could tease Izuku and he would tease him right back. He liked being able to look at each other and know exactly what the other was thinking, able to have entire conversations across a table with just their eyes. He even liked Izuku barging into his room without knocking in the middle of a ramble, unphased by Katsuki throwing pillows at him as he plopped onto his couch and kept talking. He liked what they had, because he could finally admit to himself that he really fucking missed Izuku after all these years. He’d been serious about competing with him for the rest of their lives, because there really was no one else he’d rather chase after.

But now, with the idea of Izuku not being two floors down from him, or just a few streets away, for the first time in his life, with the thought that they actually might be across the country from each other in just a few months, Katsuki felt slightly sick. 

Izuku had been right by his side for his whole life, even when he desperately tried to shove him off, with a big smile and shining eyes. He had already realized how rare that was, what the two of them had, but he never realized how much he’s taken it for granted for the past 17 years he’s known Izuku. He suddenly feels slightly panicked and his eyes flick towards Izuku again, his chest relaxing slightly as he sees him sitting there, just a few feet away, with his chin in his palm. 

Izuku sighs and tilts his head at the TV, “You think All Might ever watches these?”

Katsuki snorts, almost more at himself for being hung up on an idiot who asks things like this, “Fuck no.”

“Why not?” Izuku asks, glancing over at him for a moment.

“Why the hell would he want to watch himself in fake scenarios? He doesn’t even like watching his own real footage, even the badass ones.” Katsuki responds simply, and Izuku turns to look at him, looking slightly confused.

“He doesn’t? How do you know that?” Izuku asks quickly, his voice lined with hurt and Katsuki swallows hard as he thinks back to one of his last conversations with All Might.

“Uh, just something I asked him about a few weeks back, one time I visited him, nothing big.” Katsuki says, trying to avoid eye contact by looking back at the TV.

“What were you talking about that made that come up?” Izuku presses, keeping his eyes on him as he pauses the movie.

“Izuku, come on. Doesn’t matter.”

“Kacchan, we promised no secrets. You pinky promised me.”

“It’s not a fucking big deal, it’s not a damn secret,” Katsuki sighs loudly, before he glares over at him, “And you’re one to fucking talk.” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Izuku says plainly, squinting at him in suspicion.

Katsuki scoffs and rolls his eyes, trying to turn back towards the TV but Izuku kicks him lightly, keeping his leg extended out, probably to kick him again.

“You’re avoiding the question, Kacchan.” Katsuki sighs again and rolls his eyes again as Izuku keeps his serious gaze on him.

“Look, I just told him I’m having trouble going through my footage analysis, he just gave me some advice, that’s fucking it.” Katsuki grunts out, annoyed that he was yet again forced to open up when Izuku kept his mouth stubbornly shut.

“Trouble?” Izuku’s eyebrows crease in concern, “What do you mean?”

Katsuki gulps, rubbing the back of his neck as he realizes there’s no way out of this and he tries to come up with the proper way to word this without making Izuku freak out.

“I, uh, saw the footage. Of me, after Shigaraki.” Izuku’s mouth drops open a little, his face paling as his eyes get glassy.

“W-What?” Izuku sits up, exhaling shakily, his eyes wide as they dart around Katsuki’s face.

“It was an accident, I was talking to some middle school class with Kirishima, and they had some dumbass compilation footage, and they must’ve cut it wrong or some shit. Didn’t even think you could even find that shit anywhere. Fucking morons. Was only up for like half a second but poor brats looked fucking traumatized, and it fucked me up, too. Bolted out the back door, never went back.”

“Kacchan...” Izuku says gently, his watery eyes softening as he sniffles lightly.

“I’m fucking fine, don’t worry about me,” Katsuki sighs, nudging Izuku’s foot with his elbow, “I just can’t fucking look at myself on film now, makes me fucking panic or some shit, I don’t fucking know. Whatever, point is, All Might just told me he can’t look at old footage of himself now either. Just told me to focus on what’s in front of me, to look ahead instead, but that doesn’t help me when it’s my fucking homework.”

Izuku stays quiet for a bit, his tearful eyes still trained on Katsuki, who refuses to look back over at him.

“We can figure something out with Aizawa, Kacchan. You…you shouldn’t have to do it if it’s affecting you like this.” Izuku says quietly as he tries to catch Katsuki’s eye.

“Stop making me sound like a fucking pussy.” Katsuki groans, leaning his head back towards the ceiling.

“I’m not,” Izuku sighs out, shifting slightly, “I just…I don’t like thinking of you like that. Panicked, I mean. You’ve dealt with enough, you shouldn’t have to feel like that just because of school.”

“Izuku, how the fuck am I gonna be a pro if I can’t watch myself on TV without having a fucking panic attack?” Katsuki scoffs again, looking down at his hands uncomfortably, “Shit makes me weak as fuck.” 

“It’s not weak, Kacchan, it’s normal. Honestly, it’s weird that you’re even as well adjusted as you are. You make way too many jokes about it.” Izuku shakes his head in disapproval as Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Making jokes about it is, like, the one fucking benefit dying gave me,” Katsuki grins over at him, “No one can beat me in a damn argument now, even you.”

“I’m being serious, Kacchan. It doesn’t make you weak. You’re the strongest person I know, you…you’re amazing. This doesn’t change that.”

“You realize that kind of shit means less the more you say it.” Katsuki scoffs, shaking his head slightly. 

“Not to me, not when it comes to you. I always mean it, Kacchan.” Izuku says seriously, his eyebrows slightly creasing together as he looks at him.

“I know you do.” Katsuki rolls his eyes and Izuku frowns at him.

“Then believe me.”

“Who says I fucking don’t?”

“Your face.”

“Then quit fucking looking at me.”

“Kacchan.”

“Fucking what, Izuku?” Katsuki glares over at him and huffs out in frustration, throwing his arms up, “What am I supposed to fucking do? Ask for special treatment because I fucking died? I’m gonna be a fucking pro, I’m gonna be number fucking one. I can’t do that if people treat me like I’m made of damn glass.”

“Asking for help isn’t special treatment.” Izuku argues back, eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t need any fucking help. I need to get the fuck over it.” 

“Dying, Kacchan? You’re just gonna ‘get the fuck over’ dying?” Izuku shoots out, sounding more flustered and annoyed.

“Yup.”

Izuku scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest, his irritated eyes still locked on Katsuki, “You are so frustrating sometimes.”

“Yeah, I’m the fucking frustrating one.” Katsuki grumbles, looking down as Izuku rolls his eyes again with a huff.

“Well, I am so sorry that I care, Kacchan. Forgive me for actually giving a shit about you and wanting to make sure that you’re okay. Fucking sue me.” Izuku bites out harshly, looking back towards the TV with a glare.

Katsuki looks over at him, at his defiant, irritated pout stubbornly turned away from him. He glances down to his shoulders to see him breathing heavily, and he feels an uncomfortable pool of guilt settle in his stomach.

“Fucking— ugh, fine. I’ll…I’ll talk to Eyebags about it. Ask him to give me longer essays or some bullshit to make up for footage analysis.” Katsuki gets out, keeping his eyes on his hands in his lap.

“You’ll talk to Dr. Reiki about it too?” Izuku asks, still stubbornly glaring at the TV.

“She…she knows.” Katsuki replies hesitantly, his mind uncomfortably flashing back to telling her about hearing Izuku’s blood curdling screams in his nightmares, “We’re working it out. Exposure therapy type shit.” 

Izuku finally looks back over at him, his eyes softening as he turns to sit sideways on the couch to look at him.

“I-I can do it with you too, if…if you don’t want to alone.” Izuku says quietly, bringing his knees up to his chest and leaning his chin on them, “I don’t want you to do it alone, Kacchan.”

Katsuki turns to look at him, seeing his big, anxious green eyes looking up at him in worry, and he breathes in sharply before shaking his head.

“I’m not putting you through that. Not again.”

“But—”

“No,” Katsuki says firmly, shaking his head again, “I know you want to help, but fuck no. I won’t let you do that.”

“But, Kacchan, I just think—“

“Izuku, no,” Katsuki snaps, turning to look over at him with a glare, “I am not letting you fucking relive that shit when you don’t have to, no fucking way. I can do this on my own.”

“You shouldn’t have to, Kacchan.” Izuku responds, still defiant but his tone softens slightly.

“The only thing that’s gonna fix my fucked up brain is me, okay? This isn’t something you can fix, as fucking annoying as that is to you. I can’t rely on you or a therapist or anyone else for this, it’s my own goddamn head. This is something I have to do on my own, and I don’t want you to see me like that.” Katsuki finishes shakily, surprising himself with his own honesty as he remembers sliding down the wall, his knees giving out as he desperately tried to stop his body from shaking as he attempted to watch himself on screen.

Izuku stays silent, just staring at him, and Katsuki turns towards the TV as an uncomfortable quiet settles over them.

“Then come by after.” Izuku finally speaks up after a few minutes, his voice hesitant and quiet.

“What?” Katsuki asks, snapping his head to the side as Izuku picks his head up off his knees.

“Come to my room after you have to watch any footage. We don’t have to talk about it, we can just play video games or do homework or do whatever you want. Or we can go out, go to our arcade or the comic book store or our old forest walk if you wanna get off campus for a while.” Izuku says quietly, keeping his eyes on him, tilting his head slightly as he tries to read Katsuki’s expression.

Katsuki looks back down at his hands as he feels Izuku’s gaze burning into him, but he stays silent.

“Come on, Kacchan. Let me be there for you.” He feels a little nudge against his thigh and looks down to see Izuku poking him with his foot. 

He glances up as sees Izuku’s head tilted on his other bent knee, staring at him, eyebrows still creased in concern with a soft, pleading look on his face and Katsuki’s heart jumps.

“Fine. No fucking questions, you hear me, nerd?” Katsuki scowls, and Izuku’s head picks up slightly as he smiles at him.

“Lips are zipped.” Izuku draws a line over his mouth and pretends to throw the key over his head as Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“You’re so fucking lame.”

“Yeah, and you’re stuck with me.” Izuku laughs, relaxing back against the couch again.

“Lucky fucking me.” Katsuki scoffs as Izuku picks up the remote again to press play.

“I’m a delight, Kacchan.” Izuku replies airily, tilting his chin up as Katsuki shakes his head in amusement.

“Yeah, for the deaf and blind.” Katsuki snorts as he shoves away Izuku’s foot aimed at him.

“Shut up!”

“Whatever, still fucking here, ain’t I? Just press play, you idiot.” Katsuki rolls his eyes with a smirk as he sees Izuku’s lips twitch with a small smile before he tries to look annoyed again.

“Meanie.” Izuku grumbles as he leans over to rest on the arm of the couch and focuses back on the screen.

Katsuki chuckles quietly to himself as he turns back towards the TV, but he can’t get Izuku’s words out of his head. Every time he shoved Izuku away under the guise of his own benefit, he truly always found some way to work around it. It used to drive Katsuki nuts, the idea that Izuku was outsmarting him and looking down at him, he hated that he was able to work around the purposeful distance Katsuki created once his conscience started to sound like Izuku. But as the years went on, Katsuki realized how specific those moments were, how Katsuki had always felt overwhelmed or insecure, and Izuku was always there with some sort of solution.

He couldn’t lie to himself and say the footage thing wasn’t a problem. It impacted him a little more than he let on, and after therapy, after Dr. Reiki helped him little by little, he often found himself sitting at his desk, just staring at the wall for an hour as he tried to bring his head back down to earth.

Izuku distracted him, that much was clear with his damn glasses over the last few weeks, but Izuku also had an uncanny ability to bring up the perfect subjects to distract him when he was off his game. He’d off-handedly mention some random fact he’d read about that would pique Katsuki’s interest after a bad training day, or stop by his room with a question about homework when he hadn’t come down to the common room in a while and would end up staying until Katsuki went to sleep, or ask him about the mechanics and upgrades to his suit when he was silent and grumpy at dinner.

He glances over at Izuku, his arms crossed on the arm of the couch with his head tilted down onto them, looking at the screen with his legs tucked underneath him. His glasses are slightly askew as his cheek pillows against his arm, and Katsuki swallows hard as he looks back towards the screen.

The uncomfortable, warm feeling in his chest returns, almost overwhelming him in a way it hadn’t before. He didn’t want to lose this, the feeling of relaxation as Izuku laughed next to him, his annoying questions chirping in his ear, the thoughts he let bubble out just around him. 

He desperately tries to focus on the movie, but as the action scenes roll through, the uncomfortable feeling starts to feel familiar, like the one that propelled him towards trying to save Izuku’s life twice, the one that made him move without thinking. 

Katsuki can’t help but look over at him again, and he finds Izuku asleep, head slumped against his arms, mouth open slightly as he breathes in and out evenly. His soft expression is illuminated by the glow from the TV, his glasses pushed up to his eyebrows, images of the movie reflecting off them. 

Katsuki inhales sharply, his heart speeding up as he can’t tear his eyes away. He had no idea what to do with this, with the rapid thudding in his chest that kept cropping up every time he was alone with Izuku. He’d never felt like this before, never had such soft thoughts about someone, like he wanted to reach out and tuck Izuku’s hair behind his ear, let his fingers trace along and connect his freckles like constellations, or feel his heartbeat under his skin. It was like his hands were always itching to touch him in some way, and he’d had to stop his half asleep brain from reaching out and running his hands through Izuku’s hair during multiple movie nights.

Scowling at the glasses pushed up on Izuku’s face, at the offending object that started his mental spiral, he glances down at Izuku’s sleeping frame before slowly leaning over and gingerly slipping them off.

As he’s about to lean back, Izuku shifts slightly, nuzzling his face deeper into his arms as he softly hums for a moment, and then exhales quietly. Katsuki’s heart thuds again and he quickly leans back to the other side of the couch, holding up his glasses and inspecting them with a huff.

What the hell was wrong with him? How the fuck could one pair of glasses make him lose his mind? This was Izuku, just Izuku, the same kid who used to trip over his shoelaces and scrape his knees every five minutes, and honestly, still does both. Same kid who could giggle and knock you out in the same breath. He was strong as hell, even without One for All, but that didn’t mean he was less of a nerd. A dumb pair of glasses didn’t change any of that, so what the hell was up with him and his dumbass pounding chest?

He glares at the glasses in his hands, wanting to both crush them and delicately hold them like they were some sort of priceless artifact. 

As he looks at them, he shakes his head. He knew it wasn’t the fucking glasses that were making his head spin, it was Izuku. It was always Izuku, the only person who made him second guess himself, shake his confidence and stumble over his words when he saw his big obnoxious eyes staring up at him. And it was Izuku that was making his world turn on its axis, with the sudden realization that Izuku was his favorite person in the whole world, that he couldn’t imagine his life without him, but more importantly, he really, really didn’t want to.

Katsuki inhales sharply as he glances over at Izuku, still sleeping, before he folds up the glasses and leans over to put them on the couch next to him.

Exhaling heavily, he tries to tell himself to wake Izuku up and tell him to go to bed, but he can’t bring himself to as his heart still pounds against his chest. 

Katsuki shifts, leaning back against the arm of the couch as he brings his knees to his chest to fully look at Izuku, still peacefully tucked onto the cushions. He tilts his head, eyes looking him up and down carefully, looking at his choppy haircut that finally grew back but still always looked a mess, his freckles dusted across his nose and cheeks, abruptly stopping at the fading scar on his cheek. Staring at him, softly sleeping, Katsuki sighs deeply, putting his chin on his knee.

He lets himself stare, something he’d been forcing himself to avoid for the last few weeks, and he exhales in frustration. He’s been telling himself it wasn’t like he was in love with Izuku, that would be absurd. Maybe he had some sort of feelings for him, but Katsuki had never imagined himself in love with anyone. Number one was the only goal, it had been since he could even think, and nothing else had really ever mattered, besides Izuku when they were small. Whatever he was feeling was just that childish something, the part of himself he had suppressed down when he and Izuku stopped being friends, the part of himself that wanted to drag him back through the trees and play heroes together again.

Izuku was his best friend, he knew Katsuki like the back of his hand, and Katsuki knew him just as well. 

He knew that Izuku visited All Might at least once a week to check in on him, if not twice. He knew he never double knotted his shoelaces and always ended up tripping over them. He knew he still arranged his plushies in the same way he did when he was a kid. He knew he liked to sleep with three pillows, since he always ended up clinging to one of them during the night. 

He knew he liked to study with headphones but always ended up getting distracted and taking them out. He knew he always added three sugars to his tea and always complained it was too sweet but drank it anyway. He knew which blankets he liked in the common room and which were too itchy for him. He knew he cried during sad movies, but always cried harder during happy ones. 

And now he knew he always ended up falling asleep with his glasses on.

He didn’t even know how he’d collected all of this information, or why it had stuck in his head so much over the years, or why it made him do things out of pure instinct. All Katsuki knew was that he knew almost everything there was to know about Izuku and didn’t even realize it, but he still felt ravenous to find out more. 

He wanted to dig into Izuku’s brain further, discover every little intricacy that made him tick, every detail that Katsuki alone knew, no one else. He wanted to be the only one who knew him like that. He wanted to know the comfort of Izuku’s fingers in his hair and his soft, tired voice, he wanted to memorize the dip of the couch when Izuku sat next to him, he wanted to figure out the quickest way to make him fall asleep, he wanted to trace his fingers over his skin, and feel goosebumps come to life under his fingertips, discover which spots made him shiver, he wanted to commit his soft, steady breathing to memory. He wanted so much.

God dammit, he was fucking in love with him.

His heart rate had slowed down, but his chest continued to burn hotter as he looked at Izuku, and he furrowed his eyebrows, leaning his forehead down on his knee as he closes his eyes.

“Fuck.” Katsuki whispers quietly, shaking his head before bringing it up to settle his chin back on his knee to look at Izuku, unable to tear his eyes away as his brain rolls through their last few years together and his heart starts to race again. He glances over at the TV, watching the credits roll as he inhales deeply.

He leans back against the arm of the couch and extends his leg out to nudge Izuku’s calf with his foot lightly.

“Oi. Nerd.”

“Mm.” Izuku shifts, tilting his head slightly, but his eyes stay closed.

“Izuku.” Katsuki nudges him again, a little harder.

“Mmm, what?” Izuku mumbles out, peeking one eye open.

“Go to sleep.” 

“I was asleep.” He grumbles out, burying his face in his arms.

“In your fucking bed. I got shit to do tomorrow.” Katsuki lies, looking down at the ground.

Izuku picks his head up and rubs his eyes, turning his head to look over at him before squinting at the clock.

“But, Kacchan, it’s only, like, 11. And it’s Friday!” Izuku complains, his voice slightly whiny from sleep, and Katsuki tries to shove off his increasing heartbeat again.

“You’re the one drooling on my fucking couch.”

“I do not drool,” Izuku replies grouchily, sitting up as he rubs his neck, “But fine, fair enough, I guess.”

Izuku stands up, stretching his arms over his head lazily to crack his back, and Katsuki gulps and quickly looks away as his sweatshirt rides up past the top of his shorts.

Grabbing his backpack off the floor, Izuku rubs his eyes again before giving Katsuki a sleepy smile, dimples cutting into his cheeks as he tilts his head at him, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Katsuki responds quickly, and Izuku smiles a little wider before he nods and slips out the door.

Katsuki exhales heavily and slumps down onto his couch, covering his face with his hands as he groans.

“This is so fucking inconvenient.” He mutters to himself, and he shifts slightly as he feels something dig into his leg. He reaches down underneath him and pulls out Izuku’s glasses, thankfully not smashed, and he groans again, “So fucking inconvenient.”

He stares at them, scowling slightly before he stands up and opens his bedside drawer aggressively, before he pauses. He glances down at the glasses, tilting them between his fingers for a few seconds before gently setting them on top of his nightstand, facing towards his bed.

Katsuki groans, sitting up and moving to stretch at his desk after hunching over his laptop for an hour when he catches a glimpse of brown out of the corner of his eye. He glances down and sees Izuku’s glasses on his bedside table.

Katsuki’s mouth twitches as he goes to pick them up, gently holding them up by the frames and he sighs.

How the fuck was a simple pair of fucking glasses messing with his head so much? He’d never put any thought into having any sort of feelings for Izuku before, he’d just gotten used to having his best friend back, and now he had to realize he was fucking in love with him? Like, ‘I would die for you again and there’s no one else in the world for me but you’ kind of in love with him?

He had gotten used to Izuku’s whine at the kitchen table as he forces him to pay attention to his homework. Izuku’s giggle as he throws a pillow at him when he teases Katsuki. His soft muttering when they watched movies, and Katsuki interrupting to disagree with one of his ramblings. Those nights when Katsuki silently slunk into his room and Izuku sleepily pulled out a futon for him next to his bed, his hand reaching down to run through Katsuki’s hair to try and help him slow down his heavy, panicked breathing, mumbling comforting words, and never mentioned it in the light of day.

Fuck, this was bad. He’d just gotten Izuku back, finally got to a place where they were both happy, content with how their relationship has improved. And now a pair of fucking glasses was making him rethink his whole life? It was bad enough he’d realized that he had felt more than friendship for him, but realizing that he was very, very much in love with him?

He supposes those feelings have always been there, buried under his insecurities that tore them apart in the first place. He remembers how much he loved being with Izuku when he was little, practically ripping his moms skirts from tugging on them so hard to convince her to let him go out and play. He remembers liking the color green because it reminded him of the trees and mossy rocks and Izuku’s hair. They’d chased each other through the woods every day, and Katsuki had been chasing him ever since, even when he didn’t realize it. Izuku and Katsuki’s big feelings for him had always been there, just stubbornly shoved down by his emotionally inept brain.

But now those feelings were heightened, Izuku’s eyes framed and directed towards Katsuki like a fucking beacon, forcing him to confront his not so friendly big feelings. He couldn’t tell if it was better or worse to see him in those damn glasses, if he’d rather deal with his racing heart when Izuku was wearing them or the odd, disappointed feeling in his stomach when he wasn’t when he was supposed to.

“Why’d you have to fuck with my head? Why couldn’t you have gotten uglier glasses, you fucking nerd? Fucking weird ass transition lenses or some shit? This is so fucking annoying.” Katsuki angrily whispers at the glasses between his fingers, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity as he gingerly puts them into his bedside drawer.

Whatever, it’s a Saturday. Nerd can get them later. 

Katsuki sighs to himself before standing up and moving to his desk, sitting down and sliding on his headphones as he opens his laptop to distract himself with some far off assignment.

Hours pass as he pours his energy and thoughts into his homework, trying to get ahead before exams where he'll probably be losing his mind about Izuku even more. He throws his pen down as he sighs, pushing out from his desk to drag himself out the door towards the kitchen, but as he opens his door, he's greeted by the sight of a panicked and wide eyed Kirishima.

“Bakugou! Shit, you gotta help us, man.” Kirishima grabs his arm frantically, dragging him harshly towards the staircase. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Katsuki asks in surprise as Kirishima practically carries him up the staircase, panting as he skips two steps at a time.

“It’s Midoriya! I don’t know what’s wrong but Todoroki found him absolutely tearing his room apart, screaming and sobbing but won’t tell anyone what’s wrong, h-he won’t even speak! He just keeps repeating, ‘I need to find them’ but no one knows what that means!” Kirishima says desperately, leading them towards a small crowd of people gathered in the middle of the hallway in front of Izuku’s door. 

Katsuki is about to open his mouth to tell them to back the fuck up when he hears a deafening scream and loud bang coming from inside Izuku’s room and his eyes widen as he looks at the door, then back at his worried classmates.

“Todoroki and I tried to go in and talk to him but he just got more freaked out and started crying harder, w-we don’t know what to do!” Ochako says, glancing worriedly at the door muffling Izuku’s cries.

“Shit.” Katsuki moves towards the door but Ochako blocks his way, and he glares at her, his fists clenched at his sides, “Move.”

“What are you doing? You might stress him out more!” Ochako protests, sticking her hand across the doorway to stop him from entering.

“Shut the fuck up. Let me through.”

“Ochako, come on. It’s Bakugou. If anyone can get through to Midoriya, it’s him.” Kirishima says with determination, stealing a knowing glance at Katsuki, who just stares at the door as he desperately tries to stop himself from breaking Ochako’s arm and shoving his way through.

Ochako looks up at him, her eyes fierce but still swimming with concern, and she sighs as she reluctantly drops her hand but still remains in front of the door.

“Fine. Just…make sure he’s okay. We all just want him to be okay.” She says softly and Katsuki feels his annoyance level drop slightly as he glances at the worried expressions around him.

“I know. Now let me fucking through, or our Tuesday sparring sessions are fucking over.”

Ochako rolls her eyes but moves out of the way and Katsuki grips the door handle and slips inside the room. 

He glances around and his eyes widen as he sees books, clothes, notebooks, pillows and sheets thrown all across the darkened room. His gaze falls to Izuku, hunched over his dresser, frantically pulling out clothes and shoving them back in, muttering under his breath.

His hair was a mess, as if he’d been yanking at it for hours and his whole body was shaking, like he was sobbing but no tears were coming out. Katsuki feels his stomach twist as he sees at how panicked Izuku looks, unable to remember the last time he was this upset, and he inhales deeply before opening his mouth.

“Izuku?” Katsuki starts slowly, softly closing the door behind him as he looks at Izuku, who continues to fling his clothes over his shoulder.

“I can’t find them, I have to find them, can’t do it without them.” Izuku mutters under his breath, his chest heaving up and down as he tries to choke down his sobs.

“Izuku, hey, it’s me.” Katsuki tries again, taking a cautious step forward towards him as Izuku groans miserably and falls to the ground to rummage under his bed.

“Can’t find them, I can’t find them, I have to find them, have to find them, I have to.” Izuku keeps mumbling, before he grunts, suddenly standing up to scream in frustration and he hurls a book across the room at the wall with a loud thud, then he picks up his pillow and chucks it too, panting hard.

He buries his face in his hands, shaking his head rapidly before turning to his bed and ripping the mattress up off his bed frame as he frantically searches underneath it.

“No, please, please, please be here.” Izuku breathes out heavily and quickly, his shoulders rising and falling fast.

Katsuki freezes as Izuku’s head turns towards him and his eyes get wide, his heaving chest stilling for a moment.

“Izuku, it’s me, it’s…it’s Kacchan.” Katsuki says softly, his own nickname feeling weird on his tongue.

Izuku stares at him for a moment before blinking rapidly, then completely ignores him as he shoves past him towards his desk and starts rifling through his drawers, mumbling again and Katsuki looks at him, bewildered. 

“Izuku? Talk to me. What’s going on?” Katsuki asks nervously, his previous confidence starting to wane as Izuku continues acting as if he’s not there.

“Have to find them, can’t do it without them.” Izuku repeats, squatting down and looking through his bottom drawer, whining pathetically as he finds nothing and slams the drawer shut.

“Find what?” Katsuki asks, stepping forward slightly as his eyes dart up and down Izuku’s tense frame.

“Have to find them, can’t help if I don’t.” 

“Help who? Izuku.”

“I gotta find them, gotta find them.” Izuku repeats, ignoring his question, his voice monotone and flat as Katsuki’s stomach twists further at the unfamiliar sound. 

Katsuki feels himself start to panic. He had no idea how to handle this, usually, he could calm Izuku down from whatever he was anxious or stressed about, just by talking to him and being there but Izuku had never straight up ignored him like this before. Katsuki feels so useless as he just stands there as Izuku sobs, hyperventilating as he continues to throw everything out of his desk drawer.

He glances at Izuku, his shoulders still shaking as he moans sadly as tears stream down his face and stands up to move again, but before he can stop himself, Katsuki steps forward and yanks Izuku’s shoulder towards him.

Before Izuku can protest, Katsuki throws his arms around him and pulls him into his chest tightly, his head leaning against Izuku’s as he squeezes him hard. 

He feels Izuku’s shaking body against his, his heart pounding so hard Katsuki can feel it in his own chest, but he refuses to let go. Izuku frantically squirms against him, trying to pull away but Katsuki keeps his hold on him until he feels Izuku’s fighting start to weaken. He falls silent, hands at his sides, but his arms slowly and hesitantly wrap around Katsuki’s waist and Katsuki feels him sharply inhale before exploding into loud sobs against his shoulder.

Katsuki loosens his grip slightly to shift his hands as Izuku tightens his, his body trembling in his arms as Katsuki slowly rubs his back, keeping his cheek pressed to Izuku’s hair. Katsuki tries to calm himself down too, trying to ignore Izuku’s horrific cries into his chest, how small and sad he sounds, but he just finds himself moving his hand to hold his head, squeezing him tighter and shutting his eyes.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Katsuki whispers softly, keeping his eyes closed and Izuku just cries harder, sniffling into Katsuki’s shirt as he tries to inhale and exhale properly without hyperventilating.

Katsuki shuffles them forward slightly, shifting himself so his arm is wrapped around Izuku’s shoulder as they slide down the wood of his bed frame and sit on the ground. Izuku’s arms are still wrapped firmly around his waist, his fingers digging into his skin but Katsuki couldn’t care less as he brings his other arm around his shoulder to hug him close.

“Come on, breathe with me.” Katsuki pleads as he feels Izuku inhale against him shakily, holding it for a few moments before exhaling, “Good, come on, again. That’s it, good job, baby, uh, shit. Breathe in for me? Come on, Zuku, please, please fucking breathe.”

Izuku sits there, silent, eyes closed, arms wrapped around him, trying to calm down as Katsuki desperately tries to coax even breaths out of him, and slowly, it returns to normal as Izuku lets out one last shaky exhale. 

Izuku glances up at Katsuki, blinking back into focus and then down at his arms wrapped around him. He slowly slinks his arms back to his sides and Katsuki reluctantly loosens his arms around his shoulders, but keeps one draped around him as he turns towards him to make sure he can feel his breathing.

Izuku sniffles one last time before looking up at him, wiping at his eyes.

“How—?” Izuku’s voice cracks and he quickly looks back down at the ground, his cheeks flushing and Katsuki exhales slightly as life slowly begins to flow back into his face.

“You’ve barely let anyone touch you in over a year. I thought you might be overdue. Or some shit.”

“Oh.” Izuku responds quietly, his eyes falling from Katsuki’s back to the floor, a sad haze over them.

“Do…do you want to stay here?” Katsuki asks hesitantly as he glances around the wrecked room. Izuku quickly shakes his head, his eyes still trained on the floor.

“You wanna go to my room?” Izuku looks up at him, his lip trembling as he nods shakily, looking down before shifting to stand up.

“Okay, we’ll go up there. Stay there for a minute,” Katsuki says softly, moving his arm off his shoulder to stand up and Izuku’s head back shoots up to look at him in panic, “I’ll be right back, okay? Gonna grab you a sweatshirt and talk to Todoroki for a minute. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Izuku glances at the door behind him before looking back up and nods softly again. He pulls his knees into his chest and sits quietly on the ground, his eyes focused on Katsuki. 

Katsuki stands up, ruffling Izuku’s hair a bit before heading to the door, opening it just enough to slide through, and softly closes it behind him before turning to see his entire class standing in the hallway.

“What the fuck?” Katsuki says, stumbling back against the door slightly at the crowd of people in front of him.

“Is he okay?” Ochako asks nervously, glancing at the door before her wide eyes settle back on him.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Mina asks, her eyes wide as Kirishima nods next to her.

“Yeah, man, what’s going on? Talk to us.” Kirishima asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Can you all get the fuck out?” Katsuki says simply, crossing his arms over his chest and standing firmly in front of Izuku’s door as they all subconsciously creep closer.

“What?!” “No way!” A few of them exclaim, confused looks on their faces as Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Midoriya is always there for us, always, and we want to be there for him too!” Kaminari argues, putting his hands on his hips defiantly.

“He doesn’t need all of you fucking looming over him like he’s some sort of damn sideshow attraction.”

“We just want to help, Bakugou!” Iida argues and Katsuki rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

“All of you, except Todoroki, get the fuck out and go to your rooms or some shit for all I care, just get the fuck out of here. I’m taking the nerd to my room and I’m not having all of your fucking bugged out eyes on him, he just needs space. If you really want to help, clean up this damn room after we leave so he doesn’t fucking have to deal with it. He’s already panicked enough as it is, he doesn’t need you fucking lot breathing down his damn neck. He knows you want to help so he’ll pretend he’s fine for all of your fucking sakes. So. Get. The. Fuck. Away.” Katsuki growls out, stepping back slightly until his back hits Izuku’s door.

His classmates stare at him, and shift uncomfortably as no one makes a real move to leave and Katsuki throws his hands up in frustration.

“Go the fuck away! All of you! Fucking out! Out! Out!” He shouts, shooing them towards the hallway and the elevators and doorway leading downstairs. The group glances around before slowly making their way down, grumbling and peeking over their shoulders at Katsuki and Todoroki.

“Icy Hot.” Todoroki turns his head from the crowd to look at Katsuki, who glances to see his classmates leaving before turning to him.

“Is Midoriya okay? I didn’t know what to do when I found him like that.” Todoroki says, looking at the closed door beside them.

“Nerd will be fine. I need you to do some shit for me. Make sure they clean his fucking room, I’ll cook them dinner or some shit, and let Aizawa know.” Katsuki says, pulling out his phone from his pocket, and Todoroki nods with another worried glance at Izuku’s door.

“Okay, what do you need me to do?”

“I didn’t know Auntie was here.” 

Katsuki turns around after the closing door at the thick voice behind him to see Izuku sitting on the ground, with his legs still pressed to his chest. Katsuki looks at him confused, glancing around the room as if his mother was about to jump out and scare him.

“What? What the fuck are you on about?” Katsuki asks, glancing around again once before his eyes fall back to Izuku.

“Could’ve sworn I heard her shooing people away in the hallway just now.” Izuku responds in a gravelly voice, a small, weak smile on his face as Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, you’re lucky you’re sad.” Katsuki says and Izuku’s eyes drop to the floor as he starts picking at the hem of his shirt.

Katsuki stares at him for a second before turning to Izuku’s closet, rummaging around until he finds a gigantic All Might sweatshirt that must go down to Izuku’s fucking knees. 

Turning around, he tosses it to Izuku on the ground, who catches it and immediately puts it on. Flicking the bright yellow hood over his head, Izuku lets the sleeves fall past his hands as he wraps around himself in the extra fabric.

Katsuki looks down at him for a moment, his heart practically crushed at the sight of Izuku shrinking into himself. He walks back over and squats down to tug on Izuku’s oversized hood, causing him to glance up at him with watery eyes.

“You need a minute?” Katsuki asks quietly, eyes darting around Izuku’s face but he shakes his head, shifting to move and stand up.

“No, I’m okay.” Izuku responds in a small voice, sniffling and letting his oversized sleeves hang by his sides

“Okay, let’s go.” Izuku nods up at him with big, sad eyes and Katsuki feels the need to scoop him up and tightly hold him against him again.

The elevator ride up to Katsuki’s room is quiet, save for a few of Izuku’s sniffles breaking the silence between them every so often. Izuku softly pads behind him as they walk down the hallway, and he practically scurries into Katsuki’s room as soon as the door opens.

As he steps inside, Izuku seems to shrink back into himself again, looking down and playing with the bottom of his sweatshirt. 

Katsuki checks his phone for anything from Todoroki, breathing out as he sees his texts and lightly tosses his phone onto the desk before turning to Izuku.

“Sit.” He says firmly, pointing to the end of his bed.

Izuku gulps and slowly makes his way over, sitting down hesitantly at the very edge of the bed, as if it was going to electrocute him.

“Will you fucking relax?” Katsuki asks, putting his hands on his hips and glaring down at him.

“You’re…you’re not mad at me?” Izuku asks in a quiet voice, a soft look of surprise on his face as his wide eyes glance up at him.

“Why the hell would I be mad at you?” Katsuki asks, his tone softening slightly as he sits down on the bed, moving back to lean against the wall as Izuku stays firmly on the edge.

“I-I don’t know.” Izuku says in a small voice, looking down at his lap and Katsuki’s heart twists.

“Izuku,” Katsuki nudges Izuku’s thigh with his foot, trying to get him to look at him, and Izuku turns slightly towards him, his eyes wide and nervous, “What happened?”

“I can’t tell you.” Izuku sighs, looking down at the sheets as Katsuki nudges him again.

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s, um, it’s dumb. And I shouldn’t have freaked out like that, I-I don’t know what happened.” Izuku says quickly, inching forward slightly as he practically hangs off the edge.

“Will you just get on the damn bed? You look like you’re about to launch into fucking space.” Katsuki huffs out, annoyed at Izuku’s attempts to get away from him.

Izuku peeks back at him before shuffling back and wiggling back against the wall, a few inches from Katsuki’s shoulder.

Katsuki looks over at him expectantly and Izuku glances over at him before he sighs, his whole body slumping against the wall.

“I…I lost my glasses.” Izuku mumbles, looking down at his hands. 

Katsuki blinks at him, shaking his head slightly as he tries to figure out if he heard him right.

“Your glasses?” Katsuki asks incredulously, tilting his head slightly as Izuku avoids his gaze.

“I was supposed to babysit Eri tonight, and I was looking for my glasses, they’re usually on my desk or my nightstand, like you told me to do, but I couldn’t find them.”

“Okay…” Katsuki says hesitantly, glancing at his drawer in his bedside table, eyebrows still furrowed in confusion and Izuku glances over at his expression before burying his face in his hands.

“I know it makes no sense, I don’t know why I went practically catatonic. I just remember feeling panicked that I couldn’t find them, and I couldn’t imagine looking after Eri without their help, that it would be… dangerous, and I think I spiraled from there. God, this is so embarrassing, and everyone saw me like that.” Izuku groans, shaking his head in his hands.

Katsuki stays silent, letting Izuku’s words wash over him, before he sighs, shaking his head and leaning over towards his bedside table. He opens the drawer and gently pulls out the pair of brown glasses before settling back against the wall and hands them to Izuku as his mouth drops open.

“Kacchan! You found them!” Izuku’s eyes brighten and Katsuki tries to control the unrelenting warmth in his chest at seeing light finally back in Izuku’s eyes.

“You left them here last night. I was going to bring them to you this morning but I, uh, forgot.” Katsuki finishes, eyes darting around his room.

“Hm. That’s not like you, Kacchan.” Izuku says absentmindedly, looking down at his glasses and humming happily as he takes them and pushes them onto his face. He picks his head up to look to the side at Katsuki, and his heart picks up a little even as he simply glances over at him for a moment.

“Yeah, guess not.” Katsuki says, a smile twitching on his lips as Izuku fusses with his frames, but it quickly drops as he’s reminded of Izuku’s screaming sobs from earlier.

He waits it out for a few minutes, handing Izuku his water bottle and letting him fully calm down before he speaks. He’d tried to weasel out what was on Izuku’s mind for months, but Izuku had managed to shut him down every single time, but this was too much. Katsuki never wanted to see him like that ever again, and that was enough motivation to get over his hesitation about messing up what they had.

He’d figured why Izuku didn’t want to talk about his future plans, talking about meant he had to talk about his real chances of still being a hero. Katsuki had already had thoughts and plans churning in his mind, unable to imagine fully being a pro without Izuku next to him. It was what he was born to do. It had scared Katsuki when he was younger, his unwavering goodness despite the odds, and it made him lash out, projecting his own insecurities onto Izuku. Now, he craved to see it as much as possible, he’d never felt happier than when he was fighting with him, side by side. When he could see the pure light in his eyes, whether he was helping a wounded civilian or kicking someone into a building.

But he’d had just about enough of Izuku, yet again, putting everyone else above himself.

He takes a deep breath in, glancing at Izuku fiddling with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, before he speaks up. 

“Izuku?”

“Yeah?” 

“You know why you freaked out, right?” Izuku looks at him in confusion, eyebrows scrunched slightly.

“Um, not really.” 

“You’ve been keeping all your feelings locked up and you drop kicked the key into the fucking ocean.” 

“Come on, Kacchan.” Izuku just rolls his eyes with a scoff and Katsuki frowns, irritated with how nonchalant Izuku is acting about this, thinking back to his screams and cries earlier, and the sick feeling that punched him when Katsuki heard them.

“Don’t you fucking roll your eyes at me, I’m not fucking wrong, you realize how badly you scared me? All of us? You wouldn’t even fucking acknowledge me, Izuku. You know what happened tonight?” Katsuki turns to face Izuku’s wide eyes, glaring at him slightly as he tries to tamper down his frustration, “You flipped out because you refuse to talk about what’s really fucking going on in that dumb ass head of yours and you finally fucking snapped.”

“What are you talking about?” Izuku looks over at him confused.

“Babysitting Eri? The fact that you thought you couldn’t look after her properly without your fucking glasses? That you needed to have them in order to look after her safely? That you needed something to help you? And you couldn’t do it without them? Is that ringing any fucking bells for you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Izuku says stubbornly, looking away and turning towards the room. 

Katsuki fights off his annoyance and takes a deep breath, fully aware that what he has to say might either make Izuku panic again or get him punched through the wall, but he was so sick of Izuku’s dumb brave face.

“Izuku, you don’t feel like you’re a capable hero without One for All. You don’t think you can be a hero at all anymore,” Katsuki says bluntly, swallowing hard as he sees hurt flicker across Izuku’s face, “You think you need them, the vestiges and One for All, to be able to really be a hero. And that you can’t do it anymore without them.”

Izuku opens his mouth to respond before staying silent for a moment before closing his mouth again, as his eyes drop to his lap. Katsuki leans slightly to see his face, and he knew he was right on the fucking money.

“You know that’s all bullshit, right?” Katsuki asks softly, keeping his eyes on Izuku, “That you can’t be a hero without a quirk? When the fuck has that stopped you before?”

“Kacchan, it’s different now,” Izuku sighs heavily, leaning his head back against the wall, “It’s not like when I was a kid. I can’t be the same person I was without it, not now that I know what it’s like. It was never really mine to begin with. I’m not like the rest of you.” Izuku finishes in a small voice, keeping his eyes trained on his hands fiddling with his hem.

“Fuck the rest of us.” Katsuki says without thinking, and Izuku snaps his head up, and Katsuki gets a burst of courage and continues, finally letting himself speak unfiltered, “You’ve always been that person. You’re the only one who stepped up to save my life with that fucking sludge villain all those years ago. We were surrounded by pros who wouldn’t lift a fucking finger until your crazy ass chucked that ugly backpack at the bastard. That’s why All Might picked you. You, and no one else. You saved the fucking world, Izuku. I gave up my life to help you and I would do it again in a fucking second. Quirks are just a fucking tool. What matters is who you are when it really comes down to it. You have something else the rest of us don’t have and never will. And no fucking quirk could ever fucking replace that.”

Izuku stares at him with wide eyes for a minute before sighing again, shaking his head sadly.

“But what if everything with All for One and the war was just my one shot, where I could live my dream for just a little? No one’s ever become a pro without a quirk. What if someone gets hurt because I can’t help them anymore but I still stupidly think I can? What if something happens to you? What if you get hurt again because of me? Because I’m quirkless again and can’t keep up? What if you don’t want me—” Izuku stops quickly, glancing away and swallowing hard as he looks down at his hands, before quietly saying, “Kacchan, what if I’m just not good enough anymore? I…I don’t think I am.” 

“You—“ Katsuki starts immediately, but he pauses as he sees Izuku’s wide eyes peer up at him from behind his glasses, bright, shining, and shit, fucking beautiful and he feels the breath taken from his lungs. 

“You are fucking everything, Izuku. There’s not a single person on this earth like you. If anyone can do this, it’s fucking you.” Katsuki breathes out, his chest tightening as he sees Izuku’s expression soften as his lips twitch into a small smile.

“You really mean that?” Izuku says quietly, pushing his glasses up his nose a bit before gazing back up at him.

“Yeah,” Katsuki swallows hard, his eyes following Izuku’s hands, “I really do.”

“Even like this? W-Without it?” 

“You’ve never needed it.”

“You really think I can still be a hero one day?”

“I do. I’d bet my fucking life on it. Again.”

“Not funny, Kacchan.”

“It’s a little fucking funny.” 

Izuku rolls his eyes, but a smile finally graces his face again and Katsuki feels himself exhale in relief.

Izuku takes a deep breath, leaning his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. Katsuki stares at him, at his messy hair plastered against the wall, the curve of his neck as he leans back, his freckles dotting his skin going down under his sweatshirt, his fingertips slipping in and out of his long sleeves, and, of course, his damn glasses perfectly framing his face, his eyelashes just brushing the glass, making him look softer, nerdier. He looks perfect, practically glowing as he is silhouetted in moonlight, the edges of his tousled hair catching the beams of light, and Katsuki wants to lock the door and never let him leave again.

Katsuki swallows hard as his palms start to sweat when he can’t tear his eyes away, only glancing down at Izuku’s lips before looking back up and analyzing his face. 

Fucking do it, Katsuki, do it.

He inhales sharply as he resigns himself to making a stupid fucking decision, but he can’t help himself as Izuku’s face is so perfectly illuminated by the lights peeking through the window, he just wants to reach out and trace the moonlight on his skin. 

He’d always wanted more, always wanted to push the boundaries in everything he did, and although he loved what they had, he couldn’t help but hunger for more, more of Izuku.

“Izuku.” Katsuki says slowly, frozen in place as his head remains turned against the wall to look at him.

“Yeah?” Izuku looks over at him, turning his head so they’re just inches from each other, both their heads leaning against the wall. They’re so close that Katsuki notices how the brown from Izuku’s glasses brings out the little gold flecks in his eyes and his heart beats wildly in his chest.

“I, uh,” Katsuki stumbles, as his adrenaline is replaced by nerves as he feels Izuku’s warm breath faintly hitting his face, “Shit, um, I want to do something. Really fucking bad. But, I think it might fuck us up. Uh, like a lot. And I don’t want to fuck up what we have now. I-I really don’t want that, and now is not the right time, so actually, I just want you to—“

“Hey, Kacchan?” Izuku interrupts, his voice soft as he shifts slightly so he’s facing more towards Katsuki and his face leans closer.

“Uh, yeah?” He responds dumbly, too focused on trying not to stare at Izuku’s mouth.

“Just kiss me.” Izuku says gently with a smile, his dimples creasing his cheeks and Katsuki feels his heart skip dangerously.

Katsuki blinks once before glancing down at Izuku’s lips, his eyes flicking back up as he meets his soft gaze again.

He inhales shakily before slowly bringing his palm up to Izuku’s cheek, his fingertips in his hair as his thumb brushes softly against his cheekbones, just under his glasses. Izuku’s eyes never leave him, looking up as he leans his face further into his palm.

Katsuki takes one last, long look at him as his heart races, gazing at his face, before he closes his eyes and leans forward to softly press his lips against Izuku’s. He only stays there for a few moments, before pulling back a few inches as his brain restarts.

Izuku opens his eyes, blinking slowly as he looks up at Katsuki, and a smile spreads across his face.

“That's all you got, Kacchan? I expected more from you.” Izuku says teasingly, tilting his head down slightly and squinting playfully at him over his glasses.

“You little shit.” Katsuki grins, leaning back in as Izuku’s hands move to grip his T-shirt hard and Katsuki kisses him again, now feeling Izuku’s lips move against his. He brings up his other hand to grasp Izuku’s face with both hands, tilting his head slightly so his lips can push deeper against his. His head is so fuzzy, he doesn’t think he could even walk straight, but Izuku’s hands traveling from his shirt up to softly land on his shoulders, rubbing his neck as he tries not to groan under his touch, makes his last care fly out the window. 

Katsuki drops his hands and tucks them under Izuku’s legs and back, hoisting him up onto his lap without breaking apart as Izuku giggles against his lips. Katsuki wraps one arm around Izuku’s shoulders, pulling him closer against him as his other hand reaches up to tangle in his hair, pulling him as close as possible. Izuku melts against him, his hands reaching to hold his face, pulling him further down into him as he only breaks away to inhale sharply before jolting back up to kiss him desperately again.

They fall into a rhythm for God knows how long, their lips competitively pushing against each other as Katsuki savors Izuku’s body on his, his heart pounding against his ribs.

Izuku finally pulls away, glasses askew, eyes glassy and lips puffy, but Katsuki doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything as beautiful as the boy sitting in his arms right now and he wants to punch himself for never seeing it so clearly until these last several weeks.

Izuku stares at him for a moment before yanking him by the shirt down towards him and kissing him hard again, almost sucking the air out of Katsuki’s lungs. Katsuki startles for a moment before quickly kissing him back, leaning forward as he tries to keep up with Izuku’s hungry lips against his.

Just when he thinks he might die due to a lack of oxygen to his brain or Izuku swallowing him, Izuku pulls away, panting, keeping his hands fisted in Katsuki’s shirt.

“Sorry, I’ve been waiting to do that for a really long time.” Izuku says sheepishly, looking down.

“Long time, huh?” Katsuki teases, leaning his forehead against Izuku’s to catch his breath as he sees him roll his eyes.

“It’s not my fault you were emotionally inept.” Izuku grumbles and Katsuki leans in to gently bite at his nose as Izuku playfully pushes his face away, but keeps his hand softly on his neck.

“Turns out you just needed these.” Katsuki says with a laugh, poking Izuku’s glasses frames as he glances up at him with a confused look.

“What? What do you mean?” Izuku asks, readjusting his glasses again, and looking up at him with his head tilted, making Katsuki sigh with a smile as his heart skips again.

“You look good as fuck in those glasses, nerd. You’ve been driving me fucking crazy for weeks now.” Katsuki breathes out, letting a genuine smile cross his face as he sees Izuku’s face flush furiously as he tries to stammer out a response.

“Kacchan, what— no, that’s not— wait, what?”

“You got in my head, dummy,” Katsuki responds with a light laugh, knocking his head lightly down against Izuku’s, “Finally realized daydreaming about your best friend just readjusting his glasses in class was not normal and actually gay as fuck.”

Izuku snorts hard, leaning his head against Katsuki’s shoulder as he laughs. Katsuki can’t help but laugh with him, happiness starting to bubble up within him as he readjusts Izuku on his lap slightly, tightening his grip around his shoulders as his hand remains firmly in Izuku’s hair and Izuku nuzzles closer into him, still laughing slightly.

“You’re right. That’s really gay, Kacchan.” Izuku says with a cheeky smile, and his giggles start back up again as Katsuki rolls his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“Shut the fuck up.” He groans, leaning his head back against the wall as Izuku’s arms come up to loosely encircle his neck, and he can’t help but look back down.

“Make me.” Izuku says with a mischievous glint in his eye and Katsuki grins, readjusting his hand in Izuku’s curls and leans his face down closer to his.

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, aren’t you, nerd?” Katsuki says, smirking and shaking his head as Izuku smiles at him innocently. 

“Probably.” Izuku responds with a shrug, and Katsuki moves down to kiss him again, relaxing his lips against his. He gently pushes his tongue against Izuku’s lips, who immediately allows him in as his grip tightens around Katsuki’s neck, and Katsuki almost groans as he feels Izuku’s warm tongue on his. Katsuki feels like he could faint with the overstimulation of Izuku’s lips greedily fighting against his, body curled up perfectly against him, fingers running through the short strands of hair on Katsuki’s neck.

“Yeah, you’re definitely gonna be the second fucking death of me.” Katsuki chuckles deeply as he pulls away, trying to regain control of his breathing as Izuku slaps his chest lightly.

“Kacchan! Stop joking about that!” Izuku pouts and Katsuki leans down to bite his bottom lip with a grin as Izuku shoves him away with a blushing smile.

Katsuki opens his mouth to argue before a soft, timid knock causes him to look over at his door.

“Fucking finally .” Katsuki groans, shifting Izuku off his lap to stand up.

“Where are you going?” Izuku scrambles as he’s put on the bed and quickly grabs Katsuki’s hand, his eyes wide and nervous. 

“To answer the damn door, you clingy nerd,” Katsuki chuckles, squeezing his hand once and he leans down before he can even think to kiss his head, lingering to inhale his shampoo for a moment before pulling back to look down at him, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Izuku frowns but nods, and Katsuki shakes his head in amusement as he walks over to the door, opening it just a few inches before slipping outside.

“What took so fucking long?” Katsuki barks out, taking the bag from Todoroki’s hands.

“You know how she gets, it took me ages just to get out of the kitchen.” Todoroki protests and Katsuki can’t help but chuckle lightly at his pouty face, looking exhausted from too much social interaction.

“Fuck, forgot about that. Sorry.” 

“No, you’re not,” Todoroki says, scowling slightly as Katsuki laughs at him before he leans over, trying to peek around Katsuki’s shoulder, “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be okay. I’m sure you’ll all get a fucking common room apology speech tomorrow.” Katsuki rolls his eyes as Todoroki steps back on his heels.

“Okay. You’re sure he’s okay? He hasn’t gotten like that…ever.” Todoroki asks hesitantly, glancing over his shoulder again.

“He’s more than fucking okay. Nerd just needed a reality check.” Katsuki responds simply, leaning against the doorway and smirking as he thinks back to Izuku’s tongue in his mouth, and Todoroki narrows his eyes at him and he refocuses again, “A good reality check, fucking chill.”

“Okay then, as long as he’s okay. I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Todoroki says, turning away but Katsuki grumbles and calls after him.

“Oi. Thanks. For doing this.” Todoroki nods at him, glancing down at the bag in his hands.

“That’s what friends are for, right?” Todoroki responds seriously and Katsuki scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“We are not fucking friends.” Todoroki just shrugs in response as he walks backwards.

“Keep telling yourself that, Bakugou, I know you ask my sister for her recipes. See you later.” He waves at him before turning to walk down the hallway.

Katsuki opens the door and Izuku’s head pops off his pillow, eyes shining as he looks up at him, before glancing down at the bag in his hands.

“What’s that?” Izuku asks curiously, shifting onto his knees with his fingers anxiously drumming against his thighs.

“Take a fucking look.” Katsuki hands the bag to him and he slowly opens it, his eyes brightening as his mouth drops open into a gasp.

“Kacchan, you didn’t!” Izuku exclaims, pulling out the comically huge takeout container full of katsudon and bouncing excitedly as he glances over him at him with a beaming smile as Katsuki sits down next to him.

“Try it.” Katsuki says, nodding at the container and Izuku happily grabs the chopsticks out of the bag, shoving half the container into his mouth before his hands still and his eyes widen.

Izuku looks up at him and slowly chews, setting his eyes back down as he swallows and sets the container back onto his lap.

“Kacchan, is…is this my mom’s?” Izuku asks quietly, his eyes trained down towards the floor.

“Yeah. I texted her earlier and got Todoroki to steal one of his dad’s cars to go and grab it.” Katsuki responds softly, reaching up to tuck a loose curl behind his ear, brushing his cheek with his thumb for a moment, “I figured you’d want something that felt like home when you came to. It’s still warm enough, right? Shit, I fucking told Icy Hot to use his damn quirk if it was—“

“Kacchan.” Izuku interrupts softly as his eyes well up with tears and he quickly puts the container in the bag and sets it down before turning and launching himself against Katsuki, throwing his arms around him and sending them tumbling into his bed.

“Oof, Jesus fuck, Izuku, what—“ Katsuki stops as he feels wet tears splatter against his neck as Izuku brings his head up, his eyes glassy but shining.

“T-This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Izuku says dazedly, his expression filled with so many different emotions Katsuki can’t keep track.

“You deserve so much more than just fucking katsudon, you dummy.” Katsuki says, chuckling, wiping away Izuku’s tears with his thumbs before settling his hand loosely on the back of his neck with his other hand rubbing up and down Izuku’s side as Izuku stares at him.

Glancing down for a moment, Izuku suddenly surges forward and grabs Katsuki’s face with two hands to kiss him. Katsuki eagerly pushes back, tightening his grip in Izuku’s hair as his other hand moves to his waist, slipping under his shirt with his thumb pressing against his hip. Izuku pants against him, teeth tugging on Katsuki bottom lip as they kiss each other desperately, Izuku pausing for just a few seconds every so often to flick his eyes up and down Katsuki’s face before quickly leaning back in again.

“You really are gonna fucking kill me.” Katsuki mumbles against his lips, squeezing Izuku’s hip as he feels his teeth and tongue run along his bottom lip.

“Shut up.” Izuku mumbles back, tilting his head to bite Katsuki’s lip and slip his tongue back into his mouth as Katsuki groans.

Finally pulling away as Katsuki breathes heavily, Izuku shifts to lean on his elbow, gazing down at Katsuki lovingly, his distracted, heavy eyes tracking along as his fingertips trail on Katsuki’s heaving chest and he feels the burn of his touch long after his fingers leave. Izuku tucks his chin into his other hand, blinking slowly and staring at him dreamily and Katsuki can’t help but stare back. 

His hair was messy from Katsuki’s hands roughly running through it, his cheeks painted with a permanent blush, making his freckles stand out more against his flushed skin. His lips were puffy and shiny, and Katsuki had physically to stop himself from leaning up to capture them with his again. And his fucking glasses rest on his nose, outlining his eyes that seemed to almost glow, and Katsuki feels his heart pick up slightly as he can’t tear his eyes away.

Izuku sighs deeply, his fingers still tracing his chest as he keeps his gaze trained on him, a dimpled smile fixed on his face.

“I think I’m in love with you.” Izuku blurts out after few minutes, a dazed look still on his face before he freezes and his eyes widen in panic, cheeks blushing furiously, “Uh, wait, no, I mean, uh—“

“Nah, say it with your fucking chest, Izuku. You think?” Katsuki responds, grinning, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he hears ‘I’m in love with you’ running through his mind on a loop.

“No, I know,” Izuku sighs out with a nervous smile, the tense nerves Katsuki feels in his body only slightly starting to melt away, “I’ve known for a while. I’m in love with you. You’re so amazing, Kacchan, and you…you’re the reason I’ve been able to keep it together for so long.”

Izuku looks down for a minute, his hand reaching up again to run along Katsuki’s chest lightly as he fidgets slightly and then sighs. Katsuki looks down at him, trying to decipher the little crease between his eyebrows as Izuku glances up at him. Katsuki nods at him to continue, his arm loosening around Izuku’s waist as he moves to rub his lower back gently, slipping his hand under his heavy sweatshirt and warming up his palms against his skin as Izuku relaxes a little, taking a deep breath in before he continues.

“You never treated me differently after I lost One for All, you never eased up on me, you always made me feel like I could still take on the world as long as you were next to me. You’ve never acted like I was weak, or incapable, or anything less than I used to be. People always…expect something from me, one way or another, back then and now,” Izuku looks down again, his eyes focused on his fingers moving under Katsuki’s shirt to trace his collarbone, “Something I don’t feel like I can always live up to, especially not now, and I’ve felt a little lost, like no one really needs me anymore.”

Izuku pauses again, gaze fixated on his own hands, and Katsuki waits a minute, letting Izuku trace patterns across his chest, before he shifts his hand to lightly squeeze his hip again. Izuku glances up as Katsuki gives him a small smile and nods, and Izuku sighs, tilting his head on his shoulder as his fingers keep moving to distract himself.

“But you’ve given me another kind of purpose in life in your own way, a more simple way. I-I just always want to make sure you’re okay and I can’t sleep or eat if I don’t know that you are. It’s like every stress or worry or responsibility weighing on my shoulders evaporates whenever you’re around, even when you’re just across the room, and I should be figuring out the rest of my life but all I can focus on trying to spend as much time as I can with you that you’ll let me, because I love you so, so much, it sometimes makes my head hurt and my chest ache just thinking about you, I think that’s why my head still hurts in class sometimes, even with my glasses, because I can’t stop looking at you or thinking about you, which I do hope will stop happening now, and I never dreamed that you might ever love me back… b-but it’s okay, you know, if you don’t, or you don’t feel like that yet, or at all, or never will but I just want you to know and— ”

Katsuki smiles as his ramblings ramp up and brings Izuku’s face down to shut him up as he kisses him softly, their bodies melting against one another, Izuku sighing against his lips, until Katsuki reluctantly pulls back, shaking his head.

“I lost my fucking mind over you wearing a pair of damn glasses. I can’t stop thinking about you either,” Katsuki scans his face, trying to come up with some way to convey how he felt about him, “You’re my favorite person, Izuku. I’m so damn in love with you, I don’t even know what to do with myself anymore. It’s actually been really fucking annoying.” 

Katsuki huffs out a little at the end and Izuku breathes out a laugh before biting his lip, trying to hold back a huge smile as he lightly traces his fingertips along Katsuki’s jaw.

“I can think of a few things you can do.” Izuku scrunches his nose up teasingly, and his glasses slip slightly forward on his face. Katsuki sighs out again and leans up to kiss his scrunched nose softly before settling back down and shaking his head.

“You wear those glasses and I’ll do whatever the hell you want.” Katsuki says with a smile, bringing his hand up to gently run his hands through Izuku’s hair, as Izuku hums contently and closes his eyes.

“Oh, you are so going to regret saying that.” Izuku responds happily, smiling as he leans his head into Katsuki’s hand.

“Yeah, fucking probably, but whatever.” Katsuki says with a grumble.

“Aw, Kacchans whipped.”

“Shut up.”

“Kacchan’s whipped for me .” Izuku says dreamily, keeping his eyes closed and practically dropping his head into Katsuki’s hand as Katsuki rolls his eyes, but he can’t help the small smile on his face.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Does… Kacchan, does this mean we’re together now? Like, really?” Katsuki feels Izuku tense up again as he speaks quietly, opening his eyes but keeping them looking down.

“Do you want it to mean that?” Katsuki asks gently, as he shifts his hand from his hair to pick up Izuku’s chin with his fingers as he finally looks up at him.

Eyes looking slightly nervous, Izuku nods softly and Katsuki nods back with a small smile.

“Good. Me too. Just another thing for me to fucking beat you at.” Katsuki smirks as Izuku rolls his eyes with a laugh.

“Kacchan, you can’t beat me at dating. I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Fucking watch me. Gonna be the best fucking boyfriend ever.” Katsuki says with a grin, pulling Izuku in against his chest as he giggles happily, his glasses pushed up to his messy hair on his forehead

“Nuh uh. Kacchan deserves the best.” Izuku argues back lightly, still laughing.

“You ain’t fucking beating me, nerd.” Katsuki chuckles, leaning down to kiss him again, softer this time, and he doesn’t pull away until his lungs start to burn, and Izuku is still giggling into his chest.

“Can I take my glasses off now?” Izuku asks, glancing up at Katsuki with his glasses crooked across his eyebrows, and Katsuki snorts slightly at how disheveled and adorable he looks, his hair a mess, face flushed and his gigantic hoodie practically sideways on his body.

“Mm. Fucking fine.” Katsuki grumbles, reaching up to gently pull Izuku’s glasses off his face, more for his own sanity, folding them up as he leans over to set them on his nightstand.

Katsuki settles back against the bed as Izuku buries his face in his neck, his arms firmly wrapped around Katsuki as he tries to wriggle closer to him.

“Stop squirming so fucking much, you weirdo.”

“I can’t help it, I’m happy.”

“Then at least squirm up here so I can fucking see you.” Izuku laughs and picks his head up and happily plops his chin on Katsuki’s chest to look at him, eyes bright.

“Hi, Kacchan.” Izuku grins, tilting his head and Katsuki prays he can’t feel his heart rate pick up.

“Hey, nerd.” Katsuki says softly, tucking Izuku’s hair behind his ears as he gazes down at him and Izuku sighs deeply.

“You’re really pretty.” Izuku says simply, tilting his head further as his eyes slowly trace along his face and Katsuki feels his cheeks heat up.

“Shut up.”

“Mm, no. You are.” Izuku laughs softly, bringing his hand up to rest on Katsuki’s face gently, his fingertips lightly brushing his cheeks, “So pretty.”

“Fuckin’ stop it.” Katsuki squirms slightly but Izuku’s fingers keep his head in place, his fingertips firm but still soft as they drag along his cheeks, leaving scorch marks in their wake.

“I can’t compliment my pretty boyfriend? You got so much prettier once I could actually see you.” Izuku laughs, tracing along his jawline as Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Shut up.”

“Aw, Kacchan, you’re blushing!”

“Shut up.” 

Izuku giggles again and tilts his head fully so his cheek rests on Katsuki’s chest and sighs out happily, “This is going to be so much fun.”

“Yeah?” Katsuki chuckles, bringing his hand up to play with his hair again, “What makes you say that, nerd?”

“You’re my best friend, Kacchan, and now I get you all to myself like this. I’m just excited for all that we’re going to do together.” Izuku replies happily, his eyes twinkling as he smiles up at him, and Katsuki feels his heart squeeze as he gazes into Izuku’s bright eyes.

“You keep fucking kissing me like that and I’m never letting you leave this damn room.” Katsuki says with a smirk as Izuku rolls his eyes, his cheeks warming against Katsuki’s chest.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” Katsuki teases, and Izuku grins at him and shifts up to kiss him, but Katsuki reaches up and holds the side of his face, kissing him slowly. 

Letting his tongue drag along Izuku’s bottom lip, Katsuki greedily slips his tongue into his mouth again as Izuku groans and melts down against him. He kisses him deeply, letting his fuzzy mind take control as he allows himself to indulge in finally being able to give in, drink up every part of Izuku he didn’t even realize he’d been waiting for. 

He leans up to tilt Izuku’s head, running his nose softly along his jaw before he slowly kisses his neck, relishing in the soft pants he hears from above him as Izuku’s head drops lazily into his hand. He gradually slows his movements, trying to pull back from simply savoring Izuku’s skin, and he eventually leans up and kisses his lips softly once before settling back on the pillow, his hand still cradling Izuku’s flushed face.

Izuku blinks at him, a dumb, happy grin plastered on his face, “Wow.”

“Wow?” Katsuki snorts as Izuku continues beaming at him, his eyes still glazed over.

“Yeah. Wow. I should’ve known you’d be a good kisser, you’re so good at everything, Kacchan,” Izuku praises, still dazed, before his expression shifts and he frowns, eyebrows furrowing in irritation, “Wait, how’d you learn to kiss like that? Did someone teach you? Who taught you? Was it Camie? No, she annoys you too much, but then again, I’m annoying, too. Was it in middle school? Oh, wait, no, was it that one American girl Melanie? Ugh, I knew it, she was always staring at you and—”

Katsuki snorts and wraps his arms around Izuku’s shoulders, pulling him up against him so his head falls into his neck.

“And I should’ve fucking known you’d be the jealous type.”

“Kacchan! Who taught you!? Tell me!” Izuku wriggles against his arms and Katsuki just laughs again, tugging Izuku’s head up lightly by his hair and shaking his head at his annoyed pout.

“No one taught me, you fucking dummy, it’s just been you. You think I was going around just fucking making out with extras? Besides, Melanie’s into girls and I had better shit to do.” Katsuki rolls his eyes and Izuku flushes slightly, looking down, slightly embarrassed.

“Sorry.” Izuku says sheepishly but Katsuki leans up and kisses him once more.

“You’re fucking insane if you think there would have ever been anyone for me but you. You’ve always driven me crazy in more ways than one,” Katsuki chuckles, pushing Izuku’s hair away from his face to cup his cheek, “Plus, I can’t judge. If anyone touches you, I’ll fucking kill them.”

“Kacchan, stop.” Izuku giggles, and Katsuki looks at him smile, his chest tightening, as thoughts of sleepless nights start to invade his mind. Sitting alone by Izuku’s hospital bed, when he held his broken hands and quietly begged him to wake up, start to invade his mind and he holds Izuku’s face a little tighter as his heart speeds up nervously.

“No, I’m fucking serious. You’re mine now. I know you can handle yourself, Izuku, but no one’s laying a goddamn fucking finger on you, I’ll make fucking sure of it.” Katsuki says firmly, slightly surprised by his own determined tone as Izuku widens his eyes.

“Yeah?” Izuku asks tentatively, eyes darting around Katsuki’s face.

“Yeah. I love you.” Katsuki responds simply, the words slipping off his tongue easily, like he’d been saying it for years. 

Izuku’s expression softens before he leans down and gently kisses him, leaning back only an inch or so after he pulls away, his dimples creasing in a huge smile.

“I love you too.” Izuku whispers, and Katsuki smiles up at him, lightly brushing his face with his thumb, “Kacchan, this is real, right? I’m not hallucinating or dreaming or quirked up or anything like that?”

“How the fuck would I even prove that?”

“I don’t know! What’s something that only you would know about me that I wouldn’t want to dream or think about?”

Katsuki pauses, looking up at the ceiling for a moment to think, before a memory pops into his head and he grins wickedly back down at Izuku.

“Oh, like the time we were four and you got so excited your mom got you new All Might boxers that you accidentally pantsed yourself in the park trying to show me and tripped ass up into the sandbox? Shit like that?” 

Izuku’s mouth drops open before he groans loudly and lets his head fall forward onto Katsuki’s shoulder.

“I forgot about that.” Izuku whines against his skin as Katsuki laughs hard at the memory of Izuku’s flailing little legs.

“Good fucking thing I’m here to remind you then, hm?” Katsuki smirks, leaning up to softly bite his cheek before kissing it obnoxiously, shoving Izuku’s face slightly as he chuckles against his skin.

“Great.” Izuku groans again, rolling his eyes as Katsuki flops back down.

“And it’s a good fucking thing we got lots more time for me to gather even more embarrassing stories about you.”

“I take it back, I don’t think I’m excited anymore.”

“Too fucking bad. You’re not getting away now, nerd.” Katsuki grins before shifting and flipping their bodies so Katsuki is sprawled across Izuku’s, trapping him against the bed.

“Kacchan! You’re crushing me!” Izuku laughs out, making very weak attempts to push him off.

“Boo fucking hoo.” Katsuki grumbles, adjusting his weight on top of him and he tucks his head into Izuku’s neck, his head gently resting on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around his waist firmly. 

Izuku pulls his arms around his shoulders, squeezing Katsuki slightly as he sighs happily, bringing one hand up to rest in Katsuki’s hair and the other loosely drags his fingers up and down his back. Katsuki exhales as he feels Izuku’s familiar fingers gently running through his hair, his body relaxing against him as he lets himself focus on Izuku’s hands on him. 

He thinks back to all the nights he’d snuck into Izuku’s room, only being able to fall asleep on the ground next to Izuku’s soft snores and his hand in his hair from above, his panicked, patchy heart slowing down with each touch from him, and he nuzzles his face slightly deeper into Izuku’s body as his chest warms with that familiar, relaxing comfort.

“Mm, you’re going to make me fucking fall asleep.” He mumbles against his skin, and he feels Izuku laugh lightly underneath him, softly pressing his lips to his head and he sinks further into him.

“That’s okay. I’m just fine right here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, actually, please don’t move. Like, please.” Katsuki smiles to himself, shaking his head slightly before shifting and he tilts his face up towards Izuku.

“Wasn’t fuckin’ planning on it, nerd.” He smirks and Izuku smiles down at him before he leans down and presses his lips to his forehead softly, lingering for a few moments before pulling back. Katsuki closes his eyes and sighs, shifting up and burying his face back into Izuku’s neck, trying to get as close to him as he can as Izuku continues loosely playing with his hair.

“Izuku.” He whispers, kissing his neck under his ear, smiling as he feels Izuku shiver.

“Yeah?”

“I’m excited, too.” Izuku giggles, squeezing his arm around Katsuki’s waist, and he gently leans his head onto his.

“We’re gonna have so much fun, Kacchan.” Izuku says brightly, wiggling slightly as Katsuki chuckles to himself.

“Yeah,” He mumbles gently, tilting his head slightly so his lips rest against Izuku’s pulse, relaxing as he feels the soft thump of his heartbeat under his skin, “I can’t fucking wait.”