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It’d been a little over two weeks since Haruki had begrudgingly given his blessing. They’d done a few live shows and had been glued to the studio in the rest of their free time, practicing.
On this particular Sunday evening, the cicadas’ screeching filled the quiet tension that stretched between them as they left practice. Uenoyama chewed at his bottom lip, lost in thought. Today was the day. He was going to kiss Mafuyu — again, technically. He’d walked him home from the studio most days — going so far as to ride the train in the wrong direction from his own house — and had thought about it every single time.
And yet, every time they said “see you tomorrow,” Ue would glance at Mafuyu’s lips and then stare at the floor as his heart fluttered and his courage gave out.
But today would be different. He was going to do it. He’d already done it before; it shouldn’t be this hard to do again.
A warm, slightly sticky breeze greeted them as they stepped out of the station into a quiet neighborhood. Mafuyu took his hand; the contact still made him jump slightly, but he didn’t shy away in horror like he had the first time, as they’d left Haruki’s birthday surprise.
Could Mafuyu tell his palm was sweaty? He desperately wished he could have scrubbed it against his jeans first, to present a better, less nervous front. But taking his hand back seemed like a worse idea than just accepting that hands get sweaty in summer. He sucked in a breath, held it for a moment, and let it out, trying to expel his anxiety with it.
A squeeze of his hand and movement to his left made him glance; Mafuyu flashed him a small, soft smile, his eyes squinting against the sunset or in happiness, Uenoyama couldn’t tell. He hoped the ruddy glow of the sun disguised the color in his cheeks (it didn’t).
The route to Mafuyu’s apartment building was familiar to him, now. One more turn and it’d be looming just down the street. His pulse quickened and he wondered absently if Mafuyu could feel it through their joined hands. He could do this. He’d done it before. He’ll do it again. He wanted to, so why did he keep failing?
Mafuyu’s voice stopped the ping pong ball that was that singular thought in his head. “You know, you don’t have to come all the way out here. I know it’s not on your way.”
“Oh, um…” Ue sniffled to cover his embarrassed pause. “I won’t when school starts again. I’ll just walk you to the station, if that’s okay. Curfew, and all.”
“Mm.”
The sun slid behind the low, residential skyline as they made the last turn, the apartment building approaching faster than Uenoyama’s heart was prepared for. Mafuyu kept his grip on Ue’s hand as they took the stairs up a floor, holding on until the last possible moment before it was time to say good night.
The door felt both miles and inches away. Every step was both a leap and a shuffle. Uenoyama’s stomach was tight, a bowling ball rolling around his innards and crashing into his diaphragm, lungs, heart. And suddenly they stopped; they were at the door and time may as well have stood still.
Mafuyu took his time unlacing their fingers, stalling the process of digging through his bag for his key. He knew exactly where it was, but feigned a search for the sake of spending just a few more moments here, with warmth at his side, before facing the remnants of snow and icicles alone in his bedroom.
Uenoyama watched, still and quiet. His skin prickled with a strange combination of nerves and the urge to touch, grab, caress. He stared at Mafuyu’s lips and, as the boy looked over and moved to stand in front of him for goodbye, his hands shook. He balled them into fists, willed himself to look around and make sure no one was nearby.
If his poorly hidden panic hadn’t already tipped Mafuyu off, the glance to their surroundings would have. Instead of letting Uenoyama keep staring and glancing, Mafuyu wanted to beat him to the punch. A sort of returning-the-favor for their backstage moment.
The whisper of a chuckle was all the warning Uenoyama got before Mafuyu grabbed his collar and tugged him into a kiss. Startled, he nearly forgot to kiss him back. His hands, which had flown out for balance from the force of Mafuyu’s impatience, twitched, unsure where to land. Anxious to be a participant rather than a receiver, Ue settled for his upper arms, just below his shoulders.
It lasted an eternity and a second. He never wanted it to end; he couldn’t breathe. Before he had a chance to worry about how to end a kiss, warm lips pulled away from him. The prickly itch under his skin, sated only for a moment, flooded him from head to toe, concentrating around his mouth, urging him for more of that, please.
The hand in his shirt relaxed and withdrew, smoothing his collar as an afterthought. Mafuyu smirked, and there was that chuckle again.
“Goodnight, Uenoyama-kun. See you tomorrow.”
Belatedly, Ue realized he was still holding Mafuyu’s shoulders and quickly pulled his hands back. “Y-yeah. Goodnight.” He also had no idea what sort of face he was making. Probably something embarrassing.
Mafuyu smiled, sweet as honey, unlocked the door and stepped in, giving one last little wave as he did.
Uenoyama stood, speechless and breathless, for a solid minute before slapping his face with both hands and then running them through his hair. His feet felt heavy, like all they wanted was to go through the door and he was heading in the wrong direction for that. He trudged back toward the station anyway, his skin still tingling wherever they’d touched.
Inside, Mafuyu leaned against the wall and breathed a dreamy sigh. He never knew the summer sun had blue eyes.