Chapter Text
There’s a loud boom, shaking everything all around him.
For a moment all was silent, and then the screams echoed.
Minho!
A small voice was calling out to him, shrieking in pain.
The crimson blood surrounding the boy he loves ahead of him.
MINHO!
***
Minho’s eyes shoot awake, and immediately he lets out a shaky breath as one tear streams down his cheek. He shudders as he tries to drown out the nightmare that often revisits him at night. His hand clutches his chest as aches while he tries to calm himself down.
After he's finally able to do so, the alpha pushes arms to shakily sit up. His head hangs low when he's unable to stop his lip from quivering. And suddenly more tears escape him and it frustrates him so much that he isn’t able to let go or forget that night…must be one of the tougher nights.
Sometimes Minho curses to any entity that would listen, asking why they would punish him with memories of that night for 11 years. And every time, it's so vivid, as if he's reliving the same mistakes and horrors every time he closes his eyes. To his credit, it’s not like he has the exact same dream every night, it does vary.
But no matter what dream he has, at the center of everything he once held dear and close to his heart is all he sees when he closes his eyes.
“Hyung?” A cheerful voice calls from the other side. “Are you awake?”
Minho’s thankful to have something snap his head out of his spiral. He exhales again, lifting his head taking in the walls of his bedroom; a reminder that he hasn’t been in danger like that in a very long time; he’s safe.
“I’m up Ayen-ah,” Minho called out, pulling himself out of bed, throwing on athletic pants and a loose t-shirt. He also quickly strapped on his thick leather wrist band to his left wrist. “I’m coming.”
“You promised we’d start at 7am sharp!” Jeongin called out from the other side, Minho couldn’t help but smirk at the younger’s pouting. “It’s 6:55!”
Minho took his time getting ready, feeling Jeongins anticipation from the other side of the door. It’s the little moments like this that help him focus on what he needs to do today. Jeongin had been leaning his back against the door, pouting in hushed tones when Minho swung the door open. It caught Jeongin by surprise, almost falling backwards onto the floor, but Minho calmly stuck out his arm, steadying him.
“You know better than to turn your back on an enemy.” Minho raised one eyebrow, trying to be stern but unable to hide his amusement. Jeongin righted himself quickly, bounding towards the hallway out of the house.
“But you’re not an enemy!” Jeongin chuckled at the doorway outside. “Just our moody hyung.”
“Hey, when training happens, remember rank,” Minho said with a hint of a warning. Jeongin gulped but nodded with a smile as he followed Minho out of his home towards the clearing where the pack usually trains. “Remember when it’s training time, this isn’t playing around or a game.”
“I know I know,” Jeongin said quickly, making a valiant effort to match Minho’s stride. “I hear you.”
“Good, cause you never know who you may run into or what could happen out there when you leave the safety of the pack.” Minho said, tone serious, a hint of a growl at the back of his throat. “You may not be able to win a fight but you damn well should be able to survive one. Alright? You need to be safe.”
“And I will be, I know it,” Jeongin said in a soft tone, but Minho knows he really hears him. “I want to be able to take care of myself. Not be too much of a burden on you and Channie-hyung.”
Minho frowned at this, stopping in his tracks. He looked to see the guilt and shame on Jeongins expression, unable to meet Minho’s gaze because of it.
For a long while, Jeongin was begging Chan to let him go with him or some of the other members of the pack on a hunting trip. But Jeongins an omega, he’s not as strong as the others. Not to mention another stray out in the cruel world that was able to escape thanks to the generosity and true kindness in Chan’s heart. Minho always joked that Chan liked to adopt as many stray kids as possible, I mean he was also “adopted” by Chan when he was younger; Chan’s parents had a hard time telling him no when it came to taking in others who needed it.
So for Jeongin, growing up as an omega and also no fighting skills whatsoever, Chan was of course reluctant to let him join. So one day, the younger snuck off to try to follow the pack, but he got lost and when a lone beta attacked him. Chan and the others barely got to Jeongin in time. That was a month ago and Jeongin had been feeling guilty about that ever since.
But as soon as he was healed, Jeongin turned to Minho to help him train. When it comes to survival and fighting tactics in both wolf and human form, everyone knew Minho was who was the best. Most clans would only focus on fighting tactics in wolf form, Chan is the number one fighter with Changbin close behind. But Minho had taught them through the years how to fight in their human form, something that would very well come in handy if they weren’t able to shift or if they couldn’t change for stealth or other reasons.
So of course Jeongin was going to go to Minho to train him, it was the best chance he had to make up for his mistake. Minho sighed seeing Jeongins shame so plainly displayed, he reached up gently ruffling his dark orange hair to bring him out of his sad mind.
“You’re never a burden, Ayen-ah.” Minho said earnestly.
“But Chan hates me.” Jeongin whined, his eyes glossy.
“Chan could never hate you.”
“He won’t talk to me anymore,” The younger shook his head out of Minho’s hold. “He can barely even look at me!”
“You and I both know that our clan alpha can sometimes struggle with his words,” Minho said with a light tone that made Jeongin finally stop receding. The brunette gave a soft smile knowing he was getting through to the younger. “Chan is strong, and you and I both know he never wants to show any sort of weakness. So showing how much it scared him that you got hurt? …Chan will come around, I know it.”
“When?”
“Cut him some slack Jeongin,” Minho chided softly. “The pressures he has being clan Alpha is a heavy burden. There’s always a pressure to not show any weakness.”
The brunette went back to ruffling Jeongin’s hair playfully, softening his voice even further making the younger feel relaxed.
“Especially when people he cares about get hurt.” Minho said sincerely.
Jeongin couldn’t place it, but he could see so much sadness in Minho’s eyes when he spoke those words. It made his chest ache seeing that much pain in his expression at that. Every now and then, he and the others see the shadows of a the trauma Minho experienced, but the lone alpha has never opened up to anyone about what happened before Chan and his family took him in. On the surface of it, they all guess clan war, imprisonment, castaway, but Minho has never let anyone get too close. Yes he opens up, especially with the other Stray Kids, but they all know there’s one door that he likes to keep shut, soft spots he won't dare go near.
But they all see it when it brims to the surface. They see it when his eyes darken when he gets a far away look of a painful memory. They hear it once in a while in the nightmares that continuously haunt him. Hyunjin once told Jeongin that he has an idea on why Minho was so guarded and hurt, saying it must be of heartache because of how incredibly sad Minho gets.
It’s even easier to feel it when they’re in their wolf form; the benefits of always being able to feel emotions of another help, but usually the boys always have context to the feelings to make good estimates on thoughts to communicate. Hyunjin told Jeongin that on their hunts, Minho always has a trace of pain, anger, but mostly longing. It’s faint, but it’s ever present on their hunts.
Who could Minho be longing for? Is this person the reason Minho is so depressed?
Because seeing how sad he instantly looked, it took everything in Jeongin not to whine, feeling sympathetic to his lone alpha. Minho grimaced seeing Jeongins sad expression, forcing a smile to bring up the mood. He inwardly scolded himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.
“Now let's make you nice and strong, hm?” Minho called out as he turned to continue towards the clearing. Jeongin nodded, bounding after him as he continued to try and match his stride.
***
Chan watched under the shadow of the trees with a content sigh. He wasn’t too happy when he found out that Jeongin had been sneaking around for training sessions, but he was thankful for Minho being honest with him from the beginning about his sessions with the young omega. So he’ll let Jeongin continue to think he’s being sneaky, watching from a distance where he can still keep a close eye while not being easily detected.
He could relax somewhat, knowing Minho was a great teacher. He’s known Minho for 8 years now, the first alpha he’s ever met. The brunette was not what he expected; he wasn’t full of himself or outwardly aggressive like he would’ve guessed. But then again, Chan never fit the Alpha stereotype himself, not unless he was feeling overly protective.
He guesses Minho must feel the same since he takes training and combat very seriously, pulling back attacks so as to not seriously injure the others but also making sure they’re learning how to attack properly. It’s nice having a mutual respect and genuine care for each other, he knows not every alpha can be understanding and cordial with other alphas. But Minho’s different; 8 years ago, he became a brother to him. The first alpha to build the Miroh clan as his mom named it.
It’s not that big of a clan, they’re actually a pretty small group to call themselves a clan, being the only two alphas in it are Chan and Minho, but Minho genuinely doesn’t seem to mind. His mom thought that it would actually be nice for Minho “adopt” some other betas or to take a mate and build his clan, but Minho never really showed any interest. Chan will never pry, but as much as Minho has gotten close with everyone in the clan, he always has a wall up, always guarded.
Chan supposes its cause of what happened before he and his dad found him, battered and beaten, barely holding onto life. All they know is that an Older alpha basically had Minho imprisoned for two years, beating him down until Minho could finally escape. His dad Danji fought off that other alpha, and so the pack and Minho relocated to someplace safe, no rival clans or packs have found them since. And as safe as they are, Minho, Chan and Danji know that defenses should never slip and everyone should always keep up with their training.
But even knowing that everyone needs to train always put Chan on edge. Yes of course everyone needs to know how to fight and defend themselves, but Chan loves his found brothers, more than anything. If any of them got hurt…
He can’t shake the impulse to carry everything on his shoulders; the pressure of being Clan Alpha now that his dad is retiring and joining the elders, having a mate join him in this role, keeping the clan safe. It was a lot, but he knows he has to do it.
So yeah as much as he hates how badly Jeongin is determined to train, he can’t actually stop him. I mean he technically could order him, but Chan doesn’t want to be that kind of alpha. Plus the last thing he wants is Jeongin in danger and be unable to save himself if Chan or Minho isn’t around. He watches on as Minho and Jeongin continue to spar with some wooden spears, Jeongin gaining momentum as he is able to thwart off Minho's attacks.
Minho’s eyes narrow when Jeongin gets Minho caught up, the alpha tripping backwards falling on the ground.
“I’m on the ground, weapon away,” Minho calls out with a grunt. “What do you do now?”
“Attack while the enemy is down!” Jeongin calls out before fully charging at Minho with the spear in hand.
Minho huffs, gritting his teeth as he prepares to counter Jeongin. Minho uses Jeongin’s momentum against him, gripping the spear in his grasp, leaning back fully with the momentum sending Jeongin flying with a yelp over him.
Jeongin slams onto the ground with a thud, a gasp escaping him as Minho follows his bodies momentum still to roll onto his hands and feet. Still gripping Jeongins spear, just one swift move and Minho has the spear flat against Jeongins neck, the omega gripping it instinctively while Minho presses down over him. Not enough to choke him of course, but enough for Jeongin to be unable to push him off.
“Yield!” Jeongin calls out. His eyes wide, body shaking as his adrenaline dies. Minho grimaces, getting up off the omega before offering a hand for Jeongin who just sits up, bowing his head in shame.
“That was the best round you’ve had.” Minho said sincerely, softening his voice so sweetly, contrasting his dark aura that he had just moments before. It did make Jeongin feel better, but he still felt embarrassed.
“I still lost.” Jeongin muttered, head hanging low. “I had you. I actually had you.”
“I tripped over my own feet,” Minho said honestly, ears slightly pink of embarrassment over his mistake. “But you lost the moment you charged at me again.”
“But you said to take advantage of every opportunity you get in a fight!” Jeongin snapped his head up as frustrated tears brimmed at the surface.
“Yes, but advantage doesn’t always mean attack,” Minho said firmly. “Sometimes the advantage should be used to run away. Or call for help. Or help someone else who is injured. If you were up against an Omega, sure, attack. Another Beta, that depends on the situation…but never an alpha got it? An alpha cannot and won’t stop fighting until the opponent yields or is killed. ”
Jeongins nods, understanding. Still, he can’t help but feel frustrated and of course Minho sympathizes with this. He lowered himself to a crouch more on Jeongins level who was still shaking slightly. Minho knows how much Jeongin hates feeling vulnerable and weak, so he wanted to comfort the youngers’ mind as much as he could.
“I know the hierarchy is unfair, you didn’t ask for the rank you got,” Minho said earnestly, the genuinity in his voice already made Jeongin feel more relaxed. “We can’t change that, all we can do is make the best of what we got. But that doesn’t mean we have to stay locked in a stereotype. You really are a strong Jeongin, and you will continue to get stronger, I know it.”
“Easy for you to say,” Jeongin rolled his eyes, but Minho knows there’s no malice behind the words. “You’ve never lost a fight.”
“Everyone else is a beta,” Minho shrugged. “And I’ll never fight Channie or Danji. So of course I always win.”
“You’ll never fight Chan?” Jeongin said carefully, almost fearing the answer.
“I wouldn’t even dream of it,” Minho said softly, his chest ached at the thought. Jeongin relaxed at this; he knew Minho would never fight Chan, but it’s reassuring still to hear Minho confirm this. “He’s our clan alpha, I respect this clan’s hierarchy. Even if it is just sparring, it would be rude and disrespectful.”
“Channie and Danji used to spar a lot-”
“They’re blood related, his dad was training Channie-”
“Then that’s not a fair argument to say hyung,” Jeongin groaned, grasping the grass beneath him for some sort of comfort. “You don’t know what it's like to do all this training and no matter how much progress you make, you’ll still lose.”
“Jeongin, I'm not telling you this to make you feel better, I’m telling you the truth. You are getting stronger and I know that you can win some fights,” Minho said earnestly. “There’s no shame in being an omega.”
Jeongin exhaled loudly, nodding at Minho's words. He wasn’t entirely convinced, but for what it was worth, Minho was never a good liar, and he looked very sincere. Does Jeongin hate that he was disowned from his previous clan? Absolutely, but he’ll always be grateful for this one, his chosen family. I guess he should count himself lucky that no one here really sticks with the traditional stereotypes of how they act towards each other, he feels fortunate to be part of a clan that really truly cares about each other.
It doesn’t make Jeongin instantly feel better, he still has some processing to do, but he does feel better.
“Thanks hyung.” Jeongin said softly.
Minho sighed in relief at this, offering his hand once more. This time, Jeongin takes it, groaning as he rises to his feet, feeling how sore he actually felt. He looked at Minho who still had a soft smile and suddenly was in awe; Minho was definitely holding back. Obviously he does to everyone…but how much is Minho holding back? A question comes to mind, and Jeongin can't help but ask. Minho was about to ask what was wrong when the words escaped Jeongin’s lips before he could even think about it.
“Have you ever fought an alpha?”
Minho goes rigid instantly. Goosebumps spread at the back of his head at the thought.
It’s an innocent question , Minho reminds himself. Jeongin doesn’t know .
“I-’I’m sorry hyung!” Jeongin stammers out quickly. “I didn’t mean to-”
“Yes.”
Jeongin’s eyes widened at this, jaw dropping slightly at the truth. So many questions swirled his mind and he wanted to ask them all…until he took in how sad Minho looked. He’s never seen Minho look this hurt before.
Minho didn’t expect the question, though he can see where Jeongins mind was headed. It’s an innocent question…he’s more surprised with himself that he didn’t just avoid the question like he usually would if it got too close to the past. But not much he can do now…it’s been 11 years. He can’t hide from it forever.
“What happened?” Jeongin asked cautiously, feeling overwhelmed at the amount of pain he could actually feel from Minho right now.
And Minho didn’t want to get into it right now. Not when he can still see the images from his nightmare threaten to take him again. He clenches his jaw, lowering his eyes as his stomach twisted in a knot.
“I lost.”
Jeongin didn’t think two words would affect him so deeply. But hearing Minho say them…
The younger had listened to Hyunjin and Changbin briefly mention guesses on what happened to Minho before he joined the pack of what he may have gone through based on the little information Minho has ever shared about it. Not for gossiping, but just genuine curiosity for their hyung. But in all their speculations, two words made Jeongin understand so much and also make him wonder with sadness:
What happened to Minho?
“C’mon,” Minho said suddenly, forcing a smile that didn’t quite match his eyes. “Let's get a well earned breakfast.”
The brunette turned abruptly, Jeongin shaking off the whiplash of mood swing before bounding after Minho. In the distance, Chan has a hand to his chest, biting back the emotions he felt towards the pain Minho emanated; pain that he’s carried with him for the past 8 years.
***
“3…2…1…GO!”
Changbin takes off into a sprint, laughing wildly hearing the cries of two kids screaming at him.
“You cheated!” Hannah screamed, anger in her voice.
“You said you wait 10 seconds!” Lucas called out, more so laughing.
Changbin makes it to the end of the field and turns around with a triumphant cry, arms outstretched.
“I did wait ten seconds!” Changbin teased, laughing at the two kids who finally caught up to him.
“Did not!” Hannah sneered, pointing accusingly at Changbin.
“Did too!”
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“Did NOT!”
“You’ll beat him eventually,” Felix called out in the distance, running up to the trio. He held up a timer with a proud smirk. “According to this, it took Binnie 8 seconds to catch up to you Hannah. Last time it took him six.” Changbins smile immediately dropped, rushing to the timer as Hannah and Lucas began to smile wide.
“You’re saying I’m getting faster!?” Hannah shrieked with glee.
“No! He’s saying Changbins getting slower!” Lucas cheered.
“Hey wait! I still beat you both!” Changbin cried out with a dumbfounded smile. “Don’t forget I still won!”
“Not for long!” Hannah sang triumphantly, bounding off excitedly back towards the “We gotta go tell Channie!”
“Wait for me Hannah!” Lucas called out, sprinting after her.
“DON’T YOU GO SPREADING LIES!” Changbin called out after them. Felix was laughing so much at the exchange, he looked on happily as Changbin tried to shake off his shocked smile. “Damn kids.”
“I told you gaining muscle was gonna come at a price.” Felix teased, Changbin rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop laughing also.
“But I like the muscles!” Changbin whined playfully. “I’m able to help out Channie and Chinjeol by expanding the housing. And it makes me feel good! I like feeling strong!
“You’ve always been strong, Bin,” Felix scoffed. “You’re always able to keep up with Minho hyung.”
“Minho is a different beast altogether though!” Changbin said with wide eyes. “Keep up isn’t the same as on his level. He’s amazing!” Suddenly a mischievous thought crosses his mind as he playfully nudges Felix in the shoulder.
“But maybe you’re thinking of an alpha no one can beat-”
“Oh knock it off!” Felix's face flushed red at the accusation.
“He has to choose a mate soon.” Changbin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. Felix gasped in embarrassment, playfully smacking Changbins shoulder who just laughed at the gesture.
“Binnie I will murder you!”
“Hannah beat you in the race!?” Hyunjin runs up to meet the boys on the field, a wide smile as Felix erupted into more laughter as Changbin scoffed at the news.
“Oye! That kid is lying! I beat her, those are the facts!”
“Oh, so you are getting slower.” Hyunjin smirked. Changbin screamed playfully, rushing forward to tackle Hyunjin to the ground who just laughed as they crashed onto the ground. Changbin screamed playfully while Hyunjin felt like he couldn’t breathe because he was laughing so hard. Felix laughed at the exchange when they all heard a whistle in the distance. All of them snapped their heads up to Chan who they could see smiling a ways away, Minho standing behind him.
“C’mon, guys, we gotta group up!” Chan called out for them.
Hyunjin and Changbin scrambled to their feet, and then the three of them hurried off to the firepit. The layout of their home was pretty spacious: Arranged in a semi-circle were a bunch of homes with a fire pit at the center and spacious seating for all to gather around.
From right to left in the semi-circle would be the Bangs’ home soon to be no Chan though since they’re building his own home. Next to that was a home for Jeongin, Seungmin, and Felix in a nice three bedroom space. Next to that was where Hyunjin and Changbin lived. Next to that, currently in construction was going to be Chan's new place where he’ll reside as Clan Alpha. Next to that is Minho’s place where he prefers to stay alone.
Behind the trios house is the medicine building. Seungmin likes to keep busy there, mixing herbs and plants and keeping everything he needs organized for medical purposes. Next to that is where the armory is, any weapons they have stored in there and a giant set up where they are mixing and making bricks and cement for house building and any other things they want to build. Next to that, a council tent for the “of age” members to meet to discuss important matters. In the corner tucked under some trees they have the giant elders tent for May, Jio, and soon to be Danji.
It’s a wonderful oasis, Felix likes to think. Lots of room for growth in many aspects of the clan camp. Their home is completely surrounded by high rock walls of the mountain cliff where they reside, only one main entrance into the camp through a cave. The walls open up to the wonderful bright sky which Felix likes to stargaze at night with Chan, it’s absolutely beautiful.
Jeongin, Seungmin, Felix, Hyunjin, Changbin, Minho, and Chan gathered in the council tent Chan standing at the helm of the table with Minho diligently behind him off his right shoulder. It was nice having the council tent. Once you stepped in, you knew it was only serious and important matters to be discussed. A wide range of things could be discussed in here, but since it was only the 7 of them in the clan who were of age anyways, serious talks didn’t weigh down the mind too much.
“Tomorrow is going to be a big day,” Chan began once everyone got settled in the tent. “A supply run needs to be made.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, Chan notioning for Seungmin to step forward. The dark haired boy stepped forward, pulling out his list of supplies.
“I have the list of what we need and a route mapped out for where we’ve been able to find these items before,” Seungmin said simply. “One of the things I need is Eucalyptus. With Winter around the corner, we’ll get a lot of colds or inflammation. We also need some more Ginseng, I’m getting low. I have other items but those are what I need the most of.”
Everyone nodded at this, Minho getting quiet at this news. He steadied his breathing trying to remain composed as Seungmin nodded for Chan to continue.
“Since it’s a big order…” Chan sighed, and at this, the boy's eyes widened when the unexpected happened. “Minho and I consulted with the elders, talked and came to an agreement. We need more than Changbin, Minho and I going out on hunts and supply runs.”
Hyunjin can feel his excitement boiling, unable to hide his smile as Changbin looked about the same. Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin exchanged glances with jaws dropped before facing Chan who waited patiently. He anticipated they would freak out over this news. It would be a huge step for the clan as a whole. The boys are getting older, stronger. They’ve trained hard for years for the day they would be granted to go out of the cave and bring things for the clan.
They couldn’t go out when they were teenagers. The truth is, they weren’t strong enough, Chan and Minho were able to go with Danji when Chan was 18, Minho 16. Changbin was allowed to join the two of them when he was 17, the three of them carrying the bulk of their hunts and supply runs, especially after Danji sustained a heavy injury when one pack attacked them on a hunt. Aside from Chan's father, no one was seriously hurt, but it took a toll on the clan; what if something happened to them?
Understandably their clan was cautious about sending anyone out. Every day except for Wednesdays and Sundays, the boys train, making sure they are able to defend each other and themselves, so nothing like that ever close like that happens ever again. So to hear Chan talking about this, they’re excited and eager to prove their worth.
Of course they knew how serious this moment would be, so Chan didn’t mind their joy at the news. He knows the kids will focus when the time comes.
“Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Seungmin.” Chan said authoritatively. “You guys will be going with Me on the supply run.”
Changbin felt elated, excited for his brothers to join him. He and Hyunjin make a great team, and Seungmin is smart, he’ll keep everyone on track for the supplies. Seungmin was surprised, but eager to make his mark, plus it also made sense for him to go since he’s the most familiar with all the supplies he needs.
Hyunjin was trying not to bounce in his seat, he was excited to see the world outside the cave. He hasn’t seen much in a long time, not since he and Felix got taken in by the pack. He was excited to venture out, maybe even collect his own paint supplies along the way if he found any. Felix was happy to hear everyone who was going, anticipating that he wouldn’t be too far behind from being able to go with them.
Jeongin nodded, determination filling his features. His name may not have been called yet, but not hearing fueled him to work even harder to earn his spot there. Chan from the corner of his eye noticed this, subtly nodding at Jeongins reaction to the news; the omega couldn’t help but smile at the soft praise.
Minho stepped forward, next to Chan nodding to everyone in the room.
“We take off at 7am sharp, no later,” Minho said calmly. It’ll be a half day trip there, half day trip back. We should be back by 6pm. Make sure you pack well but light. No need for wolf forms tomorrow, but bring extra clothes just in case. It’s always good to be prepared.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, extremely excited for everyone tomorrow, eager to see what tomorrow's journey would have.
“Meeting adjourned, camp fire is being set tonight,” Chan said with a nod. The boys all started rushing out of the tent with excited voices and determined expressions that made Chan sigh. “Minho, stay back a minute?”
The lone alpha nodded, eyes soft not knowing what talk Chan wanted to have. Of course he loves his talks with Chan, they're easy and the alpha does everything he can to make Minho feel comfortable and not overbearing. But with his mood today, Minho suspects it’s a bit more serious. As soon as they hear their brothers faintly in the distance, Chan finally speaks.
“I need your advice.” Chan says simply. Minho blinks rapidly, head tilting to the side as his eyes stay wide in confusion.
“On what?”
Instead of answering immediately, Chan hangs his head, and leans his arms against the table. Minho frowns at how stressed his leader is, Chan looked absolutely exhausted. Chan takes a moment, he’s never had this kind of talk with Minho. But he trusts him completely, maybe hearing an outside perspective will help him.
“The elders are getting impatient with me.” Chan said with a sigh. Minho rolls his eyes, instantly knowing what he’s referring to. Minho’s instantly relieved it wasn’t what he originally thought the conversation would be about.
“They’re old.”
“Minho!” Chan snaps his head up instantly, trying not to laugh at the abruptness of the brunette. Minho shrugs and Chan instantly feels better.
“It’s true.” Minho shrugged. “They can’t just rush you to pick a mate.”
“They want me to hurry up to secure the status of the clan-”
“The status is secure,” Minho said honestly. “You’ve done really well ever since your father was attacked. Hell, this clan has done well for as long as I’ve been part of it. I know they probably feel intimidated being in a pack with not a lot of adult members, but now we all are there. The boys are all now of age and everyone is strong. We took our time being smart about making sure they’re ready, you can take your time finding a partner.”
“They want me to just pick someone!” Chan says exasperated, running a stressed hand through his curly hair. “What about the other person? Whoever I chose? What if they don’t choose me!?! I can just walk up to anyone and say “you’re my mate.” What if they don’t want to be my mate? I’d essentially be trapping them out of obligation!”
Minho nods at this, understanding exactly what Chan is thinking, because he felt the same way. Sometimes the hierarchy of being a werewolf took a toll, unrequited love can do so much harm, but no one can say no when an alpha asks something or commands something. Minho understands that burden all too well.
“So what’s the solution then?” Minho said simply. Chan appreciated the fact that he cut to the chase, knowing exactly what to say to help. Chan straightened his back and before Minho knew it-
“I want to do the soul mate ritual.”
“I want the soul mate ritual!”
“You can’t be serious!?”
“Let’s settle this once and for all you runt!”
“It’s not your choice to make!”
“Jisung is going to decide-”
“Minho?”
“Minho?”
The brunette inhaled quickly, snapping out of a trance he didn’t realize he got stuck in. Chan had his hands out in defense, eyes narrowed with concern. Minho grimaced, never liking it when Chan got into protective mode.
“You want to do the ritual then?” Minho said shortly. Chan winced, but kept the conversation going the way he knew Minho wanted it to.
“Y-yeah,” Chan stammered, composing himself to try but failing to hide his worry. “I figure it would make the most sense? I wouldn’t want to burden anyone in the clan by forcing them to be my partner for life. And also if it isn’t him, I can mentally prepare to go out of the pack and find neighboring packs and then present myself to those clans of whoever would share the same mark as me-”
“Him?” Minho finally called out, calming down but also grasping onto a keyword Chan didn’t focus on. The alpha blushed at his slip up, but he didn’t deny it. Minho raised his eyebrow, as Chan straightened his shoulder.
“We don’t know if he likes me back-”
“Hyung-”
“I don’t want to force him if he doesn’t feel the same way!”
“Ah, so that’s why you’ve been pulling away from him lately.” Minho realized. Chan furrowed his brow in annoyance.
“I wasn’t trying to avoid him, I really was busy,” but as Chan said the words, they felt sour on his tongue. “It just…happened to work out that way.”
Minho thought about it, pushing down his personal feelings about the soul mate ritual entirely to focus on Chan.
“So…by doing this ritual, it’ll relieve you once you know it’s Felix,” Minho concluded. Chan nodded. “If it’s not him, why don’t you choose him anyways? You don’t have to go find your soulmate once you're marked.”
“I’d still be taking away his choice to choose me,” Chan said firmly. “If I ask him at any point, he’s obligated to say yes.”
“So then wait for him to ask you?” Minho tried.
“The elders won’t allow it,” Chan slammed the table in frustration. “No matter how much my Dad says he’d approve either way, “an alpha has to choose their mate.” In any case I do the ritual, and the worst case scenario is that I find out the guy I love isn’t my soulmate and I go find whoever it is. In theory I’d be happy…”
“...but it wouldn’t be Felix. You love him.” It wasn’t a question, Minho knows it.
“More than anything,” Chan pleaded. “I don’t want to force a decision on him. I don’t even know how he feels about me. I’ve been pulling back my feelings so I don’t influence Felixs. I want him to choose what’s best for him, what kind of partner would I be if I took that choice away from him?”
Minho tried not to wince at this, but he understands way too well how Chan feels. He knows the answer, but still he needs to ask.
“And what if you are soulmates? Isn’t that still taking his choice away from him?” Minho asks softly.
“If we are soulmates then in the eyes of the elders, we are betrothed which is really all they care about.” Chan chided, until his expression softened. “But if that is the case, the decision is still his. Once we’re marked, yes he’ll still be a beta, but the alpha hierarchy won’t work on him anymore anyways since from now on we will be equals. I’ll always let him choose, cause I’ve already chosen. I love him enough to give him that freedom, even if it isn’t me.”
“But you’d be soulmates.” Minho stated.
“Soulmates bind you but only indefinitely if you want it to. You’ll be connected for sure, but what if Felix has feelings for someone else?”
“You think Felix has feelings for someone else?”
“I don’t know but if he does, he should be able to pursue that if he wishes.” Chan said firmly. He dropped his head in a sigh, biting his inner cheek. “How is it that even though we are alphas, love is our weakest point?”
Minho’s stomach turned at the words. He doesn’t have an answer for Chan, he doesn’t know how to answer that himself. Chan stayed silent, and Minho grew uncomfortable because he knows Chan is waiting for him to say something, but Minho can’t talk, not about this. Chan was cautious now, not looking at Minho directly, knowing the brunette was receding.
“The elders told me that, when you get your soul mate…” He said slowly, noting how Minho was tensing up at the words. “You get a brand that appears and wraps around your wrist. A specific matching symbol for you and your partner.”
Minho’s jaw was clenched, his body rigid as chills traveled throughout his body. He felt sick, he wanted to run away, not talk about this. Not get swept up in the pain he tries to hide from every moment he breathes. It was all he could do to nod at Chan's words.
The curly haired alpha peaked over at Minho, unable to stop his eyes from locking onto the leather wrist band Minho always wore on his left wrist.
Ever since he met Minho, he was always covering his left wrist-
“Minho-”
“I think it’s a good idea,” Minho said softly. It shocked Chan to meet his eyes, the softest smile he's seen Minho wear. It didn’t match his eyes that held so much anguish. “When do you want to do it?”
“The elders want to do it tonight.” Chan said sadly.
“They really are in a rush, hm?”
“Minho I’m sorry if-”
“I’m gonna go lay down for a bit,” Minho said suddenly, gritting his teeth as he locked eyes with Chan. “ Please .”
Chan immediately dropped his hand that was outstretched towards his brother. He nodded immediately feeling awful, he didn’t mean to make Minho feel horrible. He has suspicions but Minho never talks about it, it’s just been Chan and everyone else trying to figure it out or hope Minho would open up to someone about it.
Minho forced a smile, rushing to the door before pausing. He looked back to Chan with a genuine smile, eyes glossy which made Chan gasp.
“I hope its Felix, hyung,” Minho said simply. “Either way, you both deserve so much happiness.”
And then Minho left the room, Chan let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He tried shifting gears to focus on the night to come, the soul mate ritual. But it would take him a bit to recompose himself after seeing Minho so…defeated.