Chapter Text
She wondered why her night with Chakotay had felt more intense than the actual night she had lost her virginity.
She even noticed she had been bleeding.
Strange… it should have been Seven's virgin blood on his sheets.
Janeway had been irritated and annoyed by her body`s response last night.
It had taken quite some time for him to be able to move within her comfortably.
But of course, he had been the perfect gentleman.
Attentive, kind.
She had felt desired and sexy in his bed.
It had been perfect really!
But it had not been the carefree passion she had had in mind last night.
Instead, it had been sensual and intimate.
Hell, who was she kidding?
She had been thinking very little last night.
And now she had to deal with the consequences.
She was cranky, sore as hell, and couldn’t decide if she felt like a teenager, or an old woman.
The doctor was unusually chipper today.
He had not asked any unnecessary questions.
Did he suspect with whom she had spend the night?
The doctor mused her ailments were probably due to a matter of size… and the last cell regeneration cycle she had undergone after the little radiation accident on the shuttle last week.
Janeway had been investigating a meteorite they were passing, to find out if it could be mined for a derivative of dilithium.
The cell regeneration cycle had apparently “rejuvenated” her tissues.
She tried not to think to hard on this.
The only thing she had noticed, was that the skin on her face and hands had felt uncomfortably tense afterwards.
“Here."
The doctor administered a hypospray.
"The discomfort should go away. And the booster should work for another four months.”
Yeah, they had tidied up on that front after Quarra.
“And next time you should take care to sufficiently lub-“
“Stop!” Janeway almost shouted.
She was getting a panic attack.
“I really, really do not want your input on this!” She let a harsh breath out.
“Well, I wonder with who you can discuss this than?” The doctor was only mildly offended.
“Preferably no one, ever. And need I remind you-.”
The doctor put up his hands.
“Have I ever betrayed your confidence?” He interrupted her in mock offense.
Janeway sighed.
“No. No, you haven’t. Thank you doctor.”
She had to calm down.
Everything was fine!
She was fine!
“Well, I am used to your bad temper. But I think recent events should have enhanced your mood-“
“Doctor!”
Some deity have mercy on her!
Janeway hopped of the biobed.
“We are finished here.”
When she exited sickbay she was almost running over Chakotay, of all people!
Just her luck.
He had been just passing.
Chakotay caught her arm when she stumbled.
“Careful, Captain.” He had an easy smile on his face.
She straightened up.
They had seen each other on the bridge this morning.
He had had the audacity to arrive before her, looking well rested and fresh, not a care in the world.
Ayala had actually raised an eyebrow and gave her a tilt of the head, that said, what happened to that one?
She had just innocently shrugged a shoulder.
This morning she had to hustle to put herself together after she overslept in Chakotay's bed.
She was angry that she had not set an alarm herself.
Had no escape plan in place to get out unseen.
Beginners mistake Kathryn!
She had beamed herself directly to her quarters.
Naked.
She needed to remember to erase the beamer logs…
When Chakotay realized, where she had come from, he started frowning and the touch on her arm shifted to tender.
“Are you alright?”
An unseemly blush crept up her neck, she just knew.
Janeway had just about opened her mouth, thinking up some excuse, when they were interrupted.
“Commander, Captain.”
Seven of Nine came around the corner.
He did not drop her arm like a hot potato, Janeway had to give him that.
He was real smooth.
Chakotay turned, and Janeway used the distraction to make her fast retreat.
“I was on my way to you. Shall we walk together?” Seven asked pleasantly.
“Yes, actually I was looking for you too.” Chakotay said.
When he turned around he did see a flash of read turning the corner like the floor was on fire.
Janeway tried to get some distance between them.
She could not see them together right now.
Not until she put the captain firmly back in place.
Janeway had been informed informally about Chakotay's budding relationship with Seven a couple of weeks ago.
B’Elanna had taken her thougtfully aside, one quiet evening in the mess hall.
No one besides them had been there.
No one besides the stars and Voyagers humming engine kept them company.
"What do you expect me to do?" she had asked B'Elanna afterwards.
B'Elanna had opened her mouth to tell her exactly what she expected her to do, no doubt.
Janeway had put up her hand to interrupt her.
She didn't actually want an answer.
"They are free to do whatever they want."
Janeway didn't care for the look in B'Elanna's eyes, which was too close to pity for her taste.
B'Elanna hadn’t needed to bother, though.
Seven was telling her herself a couple of days later.
The only one who did not talk to her… was Chakotay.
And now they were into this mess, seven years into this journey, just a little shy of thirty more years to go.
Captain Kathryn Janeway was having an affair with her first officer, while he was in a relationship with a woman she loved and cherished like a daughter.
There was a special place in hell for people like her … and him.