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Azula could tell that her brother was not entirely happy when she started dating one of his best friends, but it had been somewhat inevitable once she really began to notice Katara and just how radiant she was when she smiled.
Granted, their compatibility hadn’t always been guaranteed, she and Katara had moved in entirely different circles at school despite sharing many classes. There was also the fact that it was rather obvious that the girl had a distaste for cheerleaders, and specifically, for the captain of the cheerleading squad. Of course, this had not become obvious to said captain cheerleader until she started taking note of one member of Zuko’s group of friends who were constantly at their house.
Up until that point, Azula had perhaps recognised how objectively beautiful the girl was but without exchanging words beyond potential ‘excuse mes’, she didn’t occupy much of her mental capacity that was split between maintaining a perfect GPA, keeping her status among the student body and impressing her parents at every opportunity, she didn’t go much beyond that.
Her priorities shifted after being paired with her brother’s friend for a science project and then an English Literature presentation in quick succession. It gave them no other choice than to spend extended periods of time together, both of them determined to maintain their grades.
All of this time together resulted in Katara becoming more than the girl she periodically ran into.
Their first kiss had been at a party that Katara had almost refused to come to and it had all been perfect since then. They complimented each other perfectly in more ways than Azula could describe to anyone who was surprised by the unlikely pairing. Not that she cared in the slightest what others thought about who she chose as her girlfriend, at least not so much now that Katara had shown her what it meant to not care so much about what others thought about her.
With all of the ways that having Katara as her girlfriend had improved her life, she was acutely aware of her absence the last few days.
Texts to Katara confirmed that she was sick and didn’t want to risk passing anything along to the cheerleader. Azula had abided by this despite her desire to see the other girl after what felt like an excruciating separation.
At the close of the third day of not getting to see those beautiful blue eyes, Azula could feel her anxiety rising to new levels. Having seen Katara drag herself in during the midst of a particularly fevered bout of flu so as not to miss a test, she was really beginning to suspect that there was something more going on here.
Pulling out her phone as soon as she got home, she scrolled through her contacts, getting to ‘Katara ❤️’ with practised ease. Finding that the last message was still from that morning. It was just Katara telling her that she was starting to feel better and that she didn’t need anything, but this was after cancelling their date for that weekend.
Chewing her bottom lip, her fingers covered over the keyboard. Considering what to type out that would lovingly tell her that she needed to know what was going on and that she could offer support. Telling her that she missed her felt selfish, if there was something serious going on as she suspected, she didn’t want to make it all about herself.
What if Katara was just physically ill as she had said and she was staying away to protect her girlfriend? It would hardly help to be accused of lying, which is not a talent that Katara historically had, anyway.
Groaning, she locked her phone and decided that there was a better way to get the information she needed without hurting her girlfriend with a rushed word choice.
There was someone in this house who had known her for longer, unfortunately, and might be able to offer some useful information.
She didn’t hesitate to fling the bedroom door opposite to hers open and stride in as the boy spun away from his desk that was strewn with books. He spat the pen out of his mouth and objected, “Can’t you knock?!”
“Have you talked to Katara?” Azula demanded, disregarding her brother’s indignation.
“I haven’t talked to her, she doesn’t usually like to talk this time of year,” he replied, sobering in a way that made Azula certain that there was something bigger going on here.
“This time of year?” She repeated.
“If she hasn’t told you then I…”
“Zuko,” Azula cut him off, forming an argument that she had the right to know what was going on with Katara. She didn’t actually voice this, though, knowing that this had more to do with the frustration than anything she really believed. As happy as she and Katara were, they hadn’t been together for that long in the grand scheme of things. It was for this reason that she sighed and said, “Please tell me what is happening to my girlfriend? I’m worried about her.”
Zuko dragged his teeth over his bottom lip, presumably weighing up his options.
Whether it was her sincerity that convinced him or because she was his sister, he deflated and replied, “It’s the anniversary of when her mom…you know…”
He trailed off and stared at her carefully and Azula’s eyes widened.
If she hadn’t been so shocked as the pieces fell together, she would have been insulted that he didn’t seem to be sure whether she knew about Kya’s tragic passing five years ago. People didn’t think she was so unobservant as to not notice that her girlfriend’s mother wasn’t around, did they?
“Would Sokka go on that trip if it’s the anniversary…” she objected as if it would prove Zuko wrong. Surely her girlfriend’s brother wouldn’t choose a week in the woods at a time like this?
“He wasn’t going to since their dad couldn’t get leave this year but Katara told him it’s fine,” Zuko shrugged.
“So she’s alone?”
“I mean…she has her grandmother,” he bargained.
It was Azula’s turn to chew her bottom lip as she pulled her phone back out to be met with the image of a smiling Katara hugging her from behind on the lock screen. Her finger hovered over the screen, weighing up how she would tell her in a text that she knew what was going on. Maybe she should call her?
The answer came to her after a second of deliberation, neither texting nor calling would be enough, she had to go and see her in person.
She turned to leave just as Zuko called behind her, “You should really leave her alone!” but she took no notice of this.
The drive over to Katara’s house felt painfully long despite it only taking ten minutes, but she felt a rush of disappointment when the door to the house opened and it was not her girlfriend. Still, she forced a smile onto her face in response to Kanna.
“Azula,” Katara’s grandmother sighed in relief.
“Hello, ma’am,” Azula replied to the older woman, “Is Katara here? She isn’t expecting me but I was hoping to…”
Kanna held up her hand, apparently not needing an explanation as to the reason for her presence.
“Katara is not here,” she interjected.
“Oh,” Azula sighed, beginning to retreat as it hit her that Zuko was maybe correct that she should leave her alone in this delicate time, “I’ll just…”
“She has gone to the beach,” Kanna Interrupted again.
Azula stopped retreating as she frowned at the older woman questioningly, “The beach?”
“She spends a lot of time there around this time of year,” Kanna explained, “Kya and Hakoda would take her and Sokka there almost every weekend before…” Kanna sniffed, likely thinking back to the daughter-in-law she had lost. She forced herself to focus on the issue in the present rather than the grief that could only be amplified by her son being away at war, “She has been there for longer this year…perhaps you could..”
She waved her hands vaguely, hoping that the young cheerleader would understand what she was asking of her.
“Do you want me to go and find her?” Azula attempted to clarify.
“Yes,” Kanna confirmed, “Usually Sokka would bring her home but…”
Azula nodded, feeling a rush of sympathy for the woman beneath her overwhelming worry for Katara.
“Okay,” she said, trying to sound confident despite having no earthly idea what to say to someone who was grieving, “I’ll bring her home.”
Kanna’s shoulders slumped in relief as her granddaughter’s girlfriend turned to return to her car.
S
Katara knew that she had been sitting on the beach for too long and that she should probably return her Gran-Gran’s calls, but she couldn’t look away from the water.
She remembered being just as enamoured by the glistening waves years ago while her brother and father worked on building a sand fortress complete with an elaborate moat.
This was how their family spent most weekends even after the diagnosis that would ultimately take Kya away from them. It wasn’t the bad days that brought her back here every year. She didn’t like to think about Kya’s ever more sallow features the closer she got to losing her valiantly fought battle.
No, in Katara’s mind, Kya was smiling broadly as her husband and son before turning the expression on her daughter.
It was in this position that the pair would talk about anything, including how Kya wanted them to be as happy as they could when she was gone.
It was for this reason that Katara could sit in this spot as often as she could to talk to the mother she had lost.
Admittedly, she did this less and less with each passing day but the anniversary of when she could no longer sit beside Kya and appreciate the sea’s beauty still felt like a mandatory occasion to be here.
If there was ever a time that she couldn’t make it, then it would be like admitting that it was okay that her mother had died.
It being cold and drizzly day, there was no one else here which meant that she could talk aloud.
She started by apologising that it was just her today, assuring her mother that Sokka had called her multiple times but that she didn’t want him to miss the trip he’d been so excited about all year just because of the date.
She then lamented that she hadn’t heard from Hakoda since he told them that he couldn’t get leave.
She absolutely hated that her father had opted to enlist in the wake of his grief for the love of his life. Gran-gran tried to justify that everyone dealt with loss differently and that her son had never been the type to sit still.
Katara wished that he could have found an outlet that didn’t involve an active war zone, not when there was a not insignificant risk that he would never come home.
If she were to say this to anyone else, she knew they would reassure her that Hakoda was a hero and that he was a highly trained and decorated soldier even before she and her brother were born.
Sitting on the beach, she could easily imagine Kya reassuring her that Hakoda loved their family and would do anything to come home to them, that he was simply doing the best he could under the circumstances and she shouldn’t resent him for leaving.
She’d had the same conversation the year before when Sokka and Hakoda had left her with some privacy and filling in her mother’s responses calmed her down just as it always did.
This year, she had another topic to add to the usual repertoire of things to discuss with her mother via whatever spiritual connection she allowed herself to believe existed here.
Being interested in girls as well as boys was not something that she ever got to discuss with anyone before she decided to come out following a lot of internet research (and a few quizzes) to confirm that she was using the right words to match her feelings.
The process would have probably involved less fervour internet searching if she had simply been able to sit beside her mother and tell her about the beautiful cheerleader she couldn’t stop thinking about.
She absolutely would have asked Kya what she thought about said cheerleader inviting her to a party and then kissing her.
Katara’s eyes glistened as she looked up to the sky and said, her voice raw, “I wish you could have met her mom. I used to think she was Zuko’s stuck-up sister but…she’s so amazing. When she laughs her nose does this little scrunching thing, she’s so smart and…”
She clamped her mouth shut as she heard shuffling behind her, alerting her to the fact that she was alone with no witnesses at all.
When she turned her head, though, she instantly relaxed despite the flushing of her cheeks.
Did Azula really have to find her at this exact moment?
It wasn’t that she had any aversion in the slightest to complimenting her girlfriend but these were not the optimal circumstances.
“Azula, I was just…” she started but was cut off as the other girl came over to her.
Azula slipped off her jacket to place around Katara, making her realise just how cold she really was, which was why she hummed appreciatively as the other teen sat close to her.
“I know,” Azula said, “Zuko told me about…the anniversary.”
Katara swallowed hard, regretting not telling her girlfriend herself, especially now that she had her comforting presence beside her. The effect had her leaning against her shoulder as she pulled the jacket more closely around her.
As much as she appreciated her presence, the Zuko explanation did not cover everything, she hadn’t told anyone about the beach.
“How did you find me?” she asked.
“Your grandmother,” Azula replied, “I went to your house and she asked me to bring you home.”
Letting out a long breath, Katara whispered, “I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“Why did you?”
Slowly Katara looked up, relieved to see only concern reflection back in those mesmerising ember eyes, the feature that had been next on her long list of Azula-related points to relay into the ether.
“I just…I’ve been so happy the last couple of months but we have only been together for a couple of months. I didn’t want to…dump all of this on you, I guess,” she admitted.
Katara expected Azula to be insulted by this but she instead pulled her closer as she nodded, “I’ve never lost anyone, so I probably wouldn’t know what to say,” Azula agreed, “I don’t know how to make it better…”
“No one does,” Katara assured, thinking back to all of the times she had been told that Kya was in a better place. What place would be better than with her family? “I don’t think anything can ever make it better.”
“Does talking to her help?” Azula inquired after a beat.
“A little,” Katara shrugged.
“And would you prefer to do that alone?”
“No,” Katara said hastily, now that she was in her girlfriend’s embrace, she didn’t think she could face the cold again.
“Okay,” Azula replied and they stared out into the sea together without a word until she said, “I’m sorry about your mom, Katara.”
“It…happened a long time ago,” she tried to dismiss but it was not at all effective with the waver in her voice.
The finger under her chin garnered eye contact she began to banish some of the shame that flared up whenever she instinctively attempted to bat away her grief.
It may not be as all-encompassing as it had been on the day that it happened but it was not as dulled as she tried to pretend it was.
“I am still sorry,” Azula said, “It’s…it’s not fair.”
Katara felt a small smile tugging at her lips despite the weight of the day and leaned over to kiss her softly.
Azula frowned at the change and asked, “What was that for?”
“It turns out that you did know what to say,” Katara explained, threading their fingers together, “I should have called you earlier…”
“It’s okay, I’m here now,” Azula said, seemingly still confused about her success.
As the popular cheerleader, Azula had never realised just how confused her girlfriend was about social cues. It was one of her more cute qualities, it was for this reason that Katara kissed her again, laying her head back onto her shoulder.
Another beat of silence blew past them on the sea air before Azula opened her mouth and Katara fully expected her to suggest that they get out of the rain.
Instead, she asked, “Could you tell me about your mother?”
This prompting was enough for details and memories to begin spewing out of her.
Eventually, Azula would urge her away from the sand and over to her car. As soon as they got back to her grandmother, Katara would plead for Azula to be allowed to stay the night and Kanna would go and call Ursa for permission, which wouldn’t be hard to come by when she explained the situation.
For now, however, Katara let everything out.
She still wished Kya could be there but having someone there who could respond verbally, specifically when that someone was her girlfriend, eased the burden slightly.