Chapter Text
Ivan wasn’t sure why he did this to himself.
It wasn’t like this was new. The bitter taste of longing, the sharp sting of reality—he’d swallowed them for years, let them settle deep inside where no one could see. But no matter how much he tried to ignore it, no matter how many times he told himself he should move on, his eyes always found their way back to Till.
And Till, oblivious as ever, only had eyes for someone else.
From where he stood, hidden by the shade of a campus tree, Ivan watched as Till laughed, his teal eyes crinkling at the corners, cheeks slightly pink. The wind caught strands of his gray hair, tousling them messily as he leaned closer to Mizi, a short, energetic Omega with bright chartreuse eyes.
Ivan clenched his jaw.
It wasn’t Till’s fault. He was like this—warm in his own rough way, easy to admire, impossible to reach. The kind of person who smiled without realizing how much it could ruin someone.
He shouldn’t be selfish.
But gods, he wanted to be.
I want you to have me… consume me. Fill me. I’m here, Till. His fingers curled into his palm, nails pressing into skin. What should I do to make you mine?
Mizi said something, and Till’s laughter echoed across the courtyard. Ivan barely heard the words, too focused on the way Till’s eyes softened, the way his lips curved with something that looked too much like adoration. It made his stomach twist.
“You’re staring again,” a voice interrupted his thoughts.
Ivan turned his head slightly, his expression smoothing into something neutral. Mizi’s girlfriend, Sua, stood a few steps away, arms crossed. She was an Alpha like him—confident, sharp-eyed.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ivan said smoothly, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Sua scoffed. “Right. And I suppose you’re just admiring the scenery?”
Ivan let out a low chuckle, tilting his head. “I can appreciate a good view.”
She wasn’t amused. “You do this every time. You think no one notices, but you’re always watching him.”
Ivan said nothing.
Sua sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but if you’re waiting for Till to suddenly turn around and see you, you’re wasting your time.”
He already knew that.
But knowing and accepting were two different things.
Life had always been boring.
People were boring.
Everything was predictable, a pre-written script that everyone followed without question. Wake up, go to school, listen to teachers who spoke in monotone voices about things that didn’t matter. Come home to a house too big and too cold, filled with expensive things no one really cared about. His parents were always working—meetings, flights, business trips, whatever. His nannies changed every few months, rotating in and out like workers on a shift.
Nothing mattered.
Nothing stuck.
No one paid attention to him, not really. They only saw what they wanted to see.
“You’re such a lucky boy, Ivan. Born into a great family. You have everything you could ever want.”
Did he?
Did he really?
Because most of the time, he felt like he was just floating—untethered, disconnected from everything.
Then—
He saw him.
It was an ordinary afternoon. School had ended, and the campus grounds were bathed in golden light. The air was thick with the scent of grass and warm earth, the sky a lazy shade of blue.
Ivan had wandered, as he always did, hands stuffed in his pockets, dragging his feet against the pavement, waiting for something—anything—to happen.
And then, under the shade of a sprawling tree near the school gates, he spotted a boy.
Not just any boy.
A boy with grayish hair, slightly messy, strands falling into his sharp, teal-colored eyes. His posture was intense, hunched over a notebook, a pencil gripped tightly in his hand as he furiously scribbled.
Ivan stopped.
Tilted his head.
He was close enough to see the way the boy’s brows furrowed in concentration, the way his lips pressed together as if he were solving the most important problem in the world.
For the first time in a long while—
Ivan was interested.
So he walked over.
He wasn’t particularly quiet about it, footsteps crunching against the grass as he approached. The boy didn’t notice him at first, still too absorbed in whatever he was doing.
Ivan peered over his shoulder.
The notebook was filled with thick, dark strokes, something rounded, something with too many legs.
Ivan grinned.
“Is that a spider?”
The boy jerked, as if suddenly remembering he wasn’t alone. His head snapped up, teal eyes narrowing in suspicion.
“What?”
Ivan pointed at the drawing, his snaggletooth peeking through his grin.
“That thing. Is it a spider?”
The boy scowled. Deeply.
“No, dumbass.”
“Ohhh.” Ivan nodded sagely. “So an octopus, then.”
The way the boy’s face twisted in sheer, offended disbelief—
It was hilarious.
“No! It’s neither of those, you idiot!” He slammed his notebook shut and turned fully toward Ivan, eyes blazing. “Who even are you?!"
Ivan grinned wider.
“Ivan.” He plopped down next to him, completely uninvited. “And you?”
The boy crossed his arms, still glaring.
“Tsk. Till.”
“Till.” Ivan repeated it, testing the sound of it in his mouth.
He liked it.
”So, Till-” why did the name feel fun to say? “If it’s not a spider or an octopus, what is it?”
Till huffed, opening his notebook again, flipping to a fresh page. His pencil moved quickly, sketching out a clearer version of whatever he had been drawing before.
It was… a creature.
A strange one. Not quite an animal, not quite human. There were sharp lines, jagged shapes, a form that was unsettling yet fascinating.
“It’s a monster,” Till muttered, glancing at Ivan briefly, as if expecting him to mock him.
But Ivan just blinked.
Then—grinned.
“Cool.”
Till’s brows twitched. “Cool?”
“Yeah. Creepy, but cool.”
Till’s expression softened just slightly.
Then—
“Wait.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re not just saying that to mess with me, are you?”
Ivan held up his hands in mock innocence.
“What? Me? Never."
Till stared at him, as if trying to decide whether to believe him or punch him.
In the end, he just sighed. “Whatever.”
Ivan leaned back on his hands, glancing at the drawing again.
“You draw a lot?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.” Till’s voice was matter-of-fact.
Ivan let out a short chuckle.
“That’s a good reason.”
Till squinted at him, as if he wasn’t expecting that response.
Ivan just smiled.
This was new.
This was different.
Oh.
Life wasn’t boring anymore.