Chapter Text
Pippin created a new chat.
Pippin added Aragorn, Arwen, Boromir, Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir, Frodo, Gimli, Legolas, Merry and Sam
Everyone is now an admin
Pippin: Hey everyone :)
Pippin: So
Pippin: Whos excited?
Arwen: Who is this?
Faramir: Thank goodness I’m not the only one who’s just been added to a random gc by a total stranger
Pippin: Oh yeah sorry were all sharing halls at uni
Pippin: I thought id make a chat so we could get to know one another
Eomer: How do you have all our numbers?
Merry: Yeah y were u trusted to make this chat
Pippin: Clearly our new personal tutor has a higher opinion of me than u do
Merry: bc they havent met u yet
Pippin: :(
Pippin: Im very trustworthy
Aragorn: I haven’t even met you and I dont believe that
Pippin: Well then im off to cry see yall later
Sam: we’re moving in tmrw u left this quite late
Pippin: better get busy then
Arwen: Ok, so who is everyone?
Merry: Merry
Arwen: Wow, thanks, I couldn’t read ur name already
Arwen: I mean introduce ourselves properly
Arwen: Like, hobbies, what do you study, etc
Arwen: I do medicine
Merry: Lol how does it feel to have to spend like half a decade at uni
Arwen: At least I have career prospects
Arwen: What do u study?
Merry: Classics
Arwen: I rest my case
Faramir: Don’t, my dad already thinks I’m a massive failure
Faramir: If I don’t get a job hell just hate me
Boromir: *more
Faramir: btw I do classics too
Faramir: and thanks bro
Arwen: dw the insult was aimed at one specific person only
Arwen: Also Pippin probably does classics too so him as well
Pippin: i thought doctors needed a bedside manner
Pippin: or whatever its called
Arwen: I’m not qualified yet
Arwen: and u rnt my patients
Arwen: so im under no obligation to do no harm
Pippin: anyone else already scared
Pippin: also yay @Faramir were going to be in the same lectures
Faramir: yay!
Eowyn: hi I’m eowyn, I do gender studies and I like fencing and horseriding
Arwen: cool hobbies :)
Merry: lol and u thought i did a fake degree
Eowyn: shut up ur just saying that bc ur part of the patriarchy
Pippin: watch out merry they do fencing they might stab you
Aragorn: u do know fencing doesnt use real swords right?
Eowyn: Most of the time…
Legolas: why have i opened my phone to find like fifty messages from a bunch of strangers?
Eowyn: bc were stalking u
Legolas: wtf
Legolas: im scared
Eomer: honestly you should be
Eomer: i have no idea what’s going on and ive been here from the start
Eomer: context doesn’t help
Aragorn: This is a uni accommodation group chat
Pippin: So we can all become friends b4 the semester starts
Legolas: and that was how you started…?
Eomer: pls just ignore my sister
Eomer: she is slightly insane
Arwen: ok wait how many of you already know each other?
Arwen: just wanting to gauge how many private schoolers are here tbh
Eowyn: i want it known that Eomer and i r both here bc of hard work
Eomer: inspired by intense sibling rivalry
Eowyn: not bc our school could afford to pay a load of money to get us all admitted
Pippin: busted
Arwen: why am I not surprised?
Pippin: bc of my sophistecation
Boromir: I hate to break it 2 u but u spelt it wrong
Pippin: its the posh spelling
Pippin: But yes me frodo sam and merry all went to the same school
Merry: But frodos uncle paid for mine and sams tuition so pippin and frodo are the only rich kids
Pippin: he did that because ur related to him tho
Pippin: so ur also one of us
Merry: shush im trying to make friends
Pippin: may as well give up now then
Merry: ouch
Frodo: But you’re his friend??
Pippin: Cousin
Pippin: Had no choice
Pippin: it was sit on my own at those boring family gatherings and listen to a dozen different people tell me how tall i was getting or help merry set off fireworks in the living room
Frodo: And thats why none of the kids in our family r allowed fireworks anymore
Frodo: ru proud of ur legacy?
Pippin: very
Merry: if they cannot source fireworks behind their parents back then they r not worthy
Eowyn: wait i just looked u up on sm and ur relatives used 2 tell u you were tall????
Aragorn: ok are we actually going to carry on with introductions or has this chat just been totally derailed
Merry: derailed
Arwen: ok sure you go first
Aragorn: I was going to do medicine like you
Arwen: shame what did u change to?
Aragorn: geography
Merry: lol
Merry: wait actually?
Merry: why would u do that?
Aragorn: shut up u do classics
Legolas: yeah shut up merry he has a true passion
Legolas: for colouring in
Aragorn: that is one of the most unoriginal jokes in history
Legolas: its a classic
Aragorn: ok what’s your subject?
Legolas: environmental science
Aragorn: why does it have science in the title I cant even make fun of it now
Eomer: I do sports science so u cant make fun of that either
Eowyn: we can tho
Merry: not a real science
Sam: what abt food science?
Arwen: no that sounds useful
Aragorn: ur our designated cook now
Frodo: Correct decision u wont regret that
Sam: I dont even do food science tho
Sam: like i considered it but i actually applied for landscape architecture
Aragorn: too late
Pippin: @Gimli u think u can get out of this by hiding??
Gimli: no i just have an actual life in the real world.
Merry: imagine
Pippin: must be scary out there
Pippin: how do u cope
Arwen: Subject?
Gimli: mine engineering.
Merry: why is that so oddly specific
Pippin: yeah how do u actually have a clear idea what u want to do with ur life
Gimli: family tradition.
Legolas: y would u want ur whole career to b around killing the planet
Legolas: y do u want nature and all of us to die
Gimli: omg not one of those.
Gimli: how do u apply to change accommodation
Pippin: not telling u :)
Gimli: ok thx so helpful
Merry: its bc he doesnt actually know
Gimli: also @Legolas you know u wouldnt have a phone without mining
Gimli: so we literally couldnt be having this conversation
Gimli: without mining.
Legolas: exactly ur just giving more reasons why mining is terrible
Arwen: yeah ngl I think ur starting to convince me
Arwen: I feel ive lost brain cells since this chat was created
Eowyn: u can spare them ur rlly smart
Eowyn: medicine
Arwen: aww thnx
Faramir: @Frodo u havent told us ur subject yet
Frodo: English Literature and Creative Writing
Pippin: it sounds stupid but hes actually rlly good
Frodo: kindness??
Frodo: Who are you???
Faramir: so we win
Merry: ???
Faramir: We have the most ppl
Eowyn: numbers rnt everything
Merry: ur degree doesnt even exist tho
Eowyn: fight me
Merry: no thanks
Merry: i nominate Pippin in my place
Pippin: hELP