Chapter Text
Her suitcases were packed. She’d picked out her new bedding and her little decorations that she’d be putting up in her new dorm room to make it feel like her own. She had her class schedule, campus map, and all of her important documents in a file folder sitting on top of her dresser, right where she could see it. She had everything ready to go for move-in day tomorrow and her first day as a college student. There was literally nothing else left to do to prepare.
So why was she stuck here pacing her room, feeling like she was forgetting to do something?!
Someone knocked on her door, and Jazz lifted her head just in time to see her mom poke her head into the room.
“Hey sweetie! Dinner’s ready,” her mom announced brightly. But then she seemed to register the anxious look on Jazz’s face, because her wide smile suddenly dropped away, replaced by a worried frown. “Oh, sweetie, what’s the matter?”
“It’s nothing, mom,” Jazz quickly dismissed, though her arms came up to wrap around her middle. She found herself chewing on the corner of her thumbnail as she mentally went through her packing checklist one more time.
“Getting nervous about going off to college?” her mom asked knowingly.
Jazz’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe a little. I just keep feeling like I’m going to forget something.”
“Tell you what,” her mom said, coming over to wrap an arm around Jazz’s shoulders and tugging her towards the door. “I made your favourite dinner for tonight, seeing as it’s our last meal as a family for a while. Come on down and join us, and after dinner, we’ll go through your things one more time to make sure you have it all. Sound good?”
“Yeah, actually, that would be perfect,” Jazz agreed with visible relief. “Thanks, mom.”
“Of course, dear. I remember how nervous I was too, after all.”
The sight of her mom’s tater tot casserole was enough to make Jazz’s mouth water as her mom served her up the biggest portion first. Jazz dug into it with gusto, savouring the hint of ectoplasm that came with all of her mom’s cooking, well aware that she’d be missing the taste for a while once she was living on campus. But then as she was about to take her next big bite, she glanced up across the table, and momentarily caught Danny’s eye.
Her fork froze halfway up to her mouth. For a split second, she had caught Danny watching her with an expression of sheer dismay on his face. It felt he was looking at her like it was the last time he’d ever see her. Almost as soon as she’d looked up, though, he smoothed his expression, hiding away his thoughts, but she knew what she’d seen.
Oh god. How could she have forgotten about Danny?!
Her fork slowly lowered back down to her plate, her appetite abruptly drying up. She hadn’t really forgotten about Danny, of course. She’d been thinking about what would happen to him once she was gone practically from the moment that she’d started receiving her acceptance letters. But in the whirlwind of campus tours and offer selections and residence applications, it had sort of fallen to the back of her mind.
At the time, she’d managed to convince herself that everything would be fine, that Danny would be okay on his own with their parents. It was only another two years, and then he’d be off to college too, she’d told herself. Yes, their parents were still as obsessed with capturing Phantom as they’d been since the beginning, and yes, they still threatened to rip him apart molecule by molecule if they ever caught him, but so far they never had. There hadn’t been that many close calls recently, and Tucker and Sam were still around, surely he’d be able to handle himself while she was gone.
That’s what she had been telling herself, of course, but now that it was the last night she’d actually be here for him, keeping an eye on him and watching his back, it hit her that she was essentially going to be abandoning him. There hadn’t been that many close calls, because she’d made it her personal mission to make sure that there wouldn’t be. She routinely sabotaged their parents' more dangerous weapons, covered for Danny when he was busy being Phantom, and distracted them whenever Danny was close to getting caught. Without her there anymore, though, it was going to be that much harder for Danny to keep his secret.
She bit her lip, feeling frustrated tears begin to build in the corners of her eyes as guilt ate at her insides. She’d been dreaming of this day ever since she’d first opened up a psychology textbook, but now she couldn’t help but feel like she was being selfish. How could she be rushing off to college when Danny still needed her here?
She knew her mind was spiralling, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. Thankfully, someone abruptly kicked her shin under the table, knocking her out of her self-berating thoughts with a yelp.
Her head jerked up to find Danny giving her a sharp look from across the table, just as her mom asked, “Is something wrong with dinner, sweetie?”
“Huh?” She looked over at her mom, her mind taking a little bit longer than usual to process the question.
“You aren’t eating, sweetie,” her mom prompted, gesturing towards her untouched plate.
“Oh! No, no, it’s delicious mom!” Jazz quickly assured her, scooping her fork back up and taking a big bite. She chewed it and swallowed, before giving her mom a thumbs up. “Super tasty!”
Her mom looked unconvinced. “If you don’t feel like tater tot casserole, I can whip up something else.”
“No, it’s fine, mom. I swear. I just…realized how much I’m going to miss your cooking, and I got kind of sad for a moment,” Jazz invented on the spot.
Her dad laughed boisterously. “Can’t blame you, Jazzy-pants! Your mom’s cooking is the best I’ve ever tasted! Those fancy college chefs have got nothing on her!”
Her mom’s dubious expression melted, and she gave both of them a fond look. “Oh honey. You know you’re welcome to come home for dinner as often as you want! I’ll always make sure to make enough for you to take back with you as well, I promise.”
“That sounds really good, thanks mom.” Jazz gave her mother a weak smile, and then turned back to her meal, forcing down a few more bites.
She waited until her parents were distracted with their own dinner, and then tentatively looked up towards Danny again. She found him watching her, and he gave her an incredulous shake of his head when he saw her looking back. She could only shrug wordlessly at him, and then the two focused on eating their food.
Later, after dinner and another round of double-checking her packing list with her mom, Jazz was once again pacing her bedroom floor. Only this time when someone knocked and poked their head into her room, it was her brother.
“Come in,” she told him quietly, pausing in the middle of the bedroom rug.
He slipped through the door and shut it quietly behind him. He just stood there for a moment, studying her, before letting out a deep sigh and starting to walk over.
“I can tell you’re freaking out about something, Jazz,” he told her as he approached, coming to a stop just before her. “You were distracted all through dinner. What’s going on? Is something wrong?”
Jazz had to look up at him to meet his eyes; he’d had a massive growth spurt over the summer, and he now towered almost a full three inches over her, much to his amusement and her dismay. He’d filled out a little as well over the years, no longer scrawny and awkward but growing more confident in himself day by day. His time as Phantom had certainly helped him come out of his shell a little bit, but he’d also slowly become more comfortable in himself as Danny Fenton as well. He was always going to be her little brother, but she had to admit he wasn’t really little anymore.
“I’m fine,” she told him belatedly, her gaze dropping down towards the carpet. “Just…fighting off some jitters, I guess.”
“Come on, Jazz,” Danny groaned. “You and I both know you’ve planned tomorrow out like a military operation, with back up plans for your back up plans. It’s not college that’s got you all out of sorts, so what’s eating you?”
She bit her lip, hesitating. She didn’t want to tell him what she was actually worried about, of course, because then he’d feel guilty. But what could she tell him instead?
“I guess I’m just…a little worried about you,” she finally settled on, figuring it was close enough to the truth without being too harsh.
“Me?” Danny asked. She glanced up to see him giving her a funny look. “Why are you worried about me? All I’m going to be doing is helping to carry your boxes. Do you think I’m going to embarrass you in front of your new roommate or something?”
He looked so offended that she found herself blurting out the truth. “No! I’m not worried about you dropping me off tomorrow, I’m worried about what’ll happen to you when I’m gone and you’re stuck here alone with mom and dad!”
He drew up short, blinking at her in surprise. “Seriously? That’s what’s been bugging you all night?”
“I just — !” She threw up her hands with a frustrated huff and stalked over to her bed so that she could drop down heavily on the mattress. A moment later he followed. As he settled down beside her, she sighed, her head hanging low. “I just can't shake this feeling like I'm abandoning you. Like…I'm making this huge mistake by leaving.”
“Jazz,” Danny said softly, leaning into her side. “You're not abandoning me, what the heck? You're going off to college! This should be exciting for you! I'm excited for you!”
“Then why were you looking at me like that at dinner?” Jazz asked him.
“Like what?”
“Like…” She screwed up her face, trying to find the words to describe it. “Like I had just pushed you onto a raft without a paddle and sent you down a river towards a waterfall.”
Danny made a choked-out noise, his eyes bugging out. “You thought I was looking at you like what?!”
“You just looked really sad, okay?!”
“Well, yeah,” Danny agreed with a laugh. “I was sad. It's like mom said, it was our last meal together as a family for a while. Of course that made me sad.”
“Oh.” Well she had to admit, that made sense.
“You’re my sister. I’m happy for you, but I’m also going to miss you a lot.”
“I’m going to miss you too,” Jazz told him, tearing up a little bit. “I just…guess I can’t help but worry about you as well. Maybe this is all a big mistake. Maybe…maybe I shouldn’t go.”
“Jazz.” Danny said her name so sharply, she had to look over at him. She found him staring at him incredulously. “Jazz, you’re moving in tomorrow. Your first class is next week. You’re going.”
“But — ”
“Jazz! You’re being ridiculous!” Danny cried in exasperation, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. “I’m not going to drop dead the second you walk out the door! Mom and Dad are not going to drop you off and then immediately drive me home to strap me to a table down in the lab! I’m going to be fine! You are going to be fine! You’re going to go to college and blow all of your professors away with how smart you are and by the time it’s my turn to go, you’ll be the one teaching the classes!”
It was her turn to roll her eyes at him, but she followed it up with a fond smile. “Oh, Danny. Now who’s being ridiculous?”
“I’m serious!” he insisted with a crooked grin. “Trust me, Jazz, I can see it now. By the time you’re done, no one’s going to remember the name Freud. They’re only going to remember Fenton.”
“Aww, Danny, you’re so sweet,” Jazz said, reaching out to wrap her arm around Danny and hug him to her side.
“Just tellin’ it like it is.”
“Sure,” she laughed.
“You never know! Maybe I bothered Clockwork to give me a hint.”
She scoffed good-naturedly. “I’m sure the Master of Time himself let you see the future just so you could check in on your big sister.”
“He likes you better than me,” Danny said, like that was something he was proud of.
“That’s because I actually know how to drive the Specter Speeder and I didn’t crash it into his lair.”
Danny grinned at her. “Exactly.”
As much as she hated to admit it, Danny was making her feel a bit better. She let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping. “Alright, alright, I’ll admit it. I’m being silly.”
“The first step is always admitting you have a problem,” he told her sagely.
She jabbed him in the ribs offhandedly with her elbow. As he yelped and jerked away, she told him, “I guess I just can’t help but be worried about you. I’ve been watching out for you pretty much your whole life, even before the whole ghost thing. It’s a hard habit to shake.”
“I get it,” he told her with surprising seriousness, rubbing at his abused ribs. “I mean, I’m going to be worried about you too.”
She looked up at him in surprise. “You are?”
“Yeah, obviously,” he said. “You’re going off to a new city where you’re going to be far from home, and you’re going to be on campus where there’s a whole bunch of strangers. What if you get lost? What if you go to a party and get too drunk? What if some guy gets too handsy with you, or worse?”
“I am bringing the Fenton anti-creep stick,” she pointed out, jerking her thumb towards the handle of a familiar baseball bat sticking out of her luggage.
“And that does make me feel a bit better,” Danny admitted. “But I’m still going to worry too.”
“I guess it’s hard not to be nervous with such a big change in our routine,” Jazz said as she looked down at her hands in her lap. “For all of us, really.”
“Yeah, exactly,” Danny agreed. “But you know what helps me deal with it?”
She glanced at him, and he gave her an encouraging smile. “What helps is picturing what an awesome time you’re going to have. All of the amazing things you’re going to do and all of the incredible people you’re going to meet. You are going to have so much fun at college Jazz, I just know it.”
His words brought back all of her memories of how pleased she’d been when she’d started getting her letters, how exciting it had been to explore her new campus on the tour and picture herself going there. He was right; it was going to be scary leaving him behind, leaving everything she’d ever known behind, but the new experience was bound to be wonderful as well.
“You’re right,” she eventually said, finally beginning to relax. “You’re right. I am going to have a great time. And…and I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“There you go, that’s the spirit!” he cheered.
“Thank you, Danny,” she told him warmly, reaching out to grab his hand and give him a little squeeze. “I think I really needed that.”
“Of course, what are brothers for?” he said. “You do the same for me all the time, I’m just happy to return the favour for once.”
She grinned at him, and then shifted so that she could throw her arms around him in a big hug. He let out a grunt from the force of the impact, but quickly brought his own arms up to hug her right back.
“I love you, Danny,” she whispered.
“Love you too, Jazz,” he whispered right back.
And then he pulled away from the hug, and gave her a little smirk. “So how many anti-ghost gadgets did mom and dad force you to bring after all?”
Jazz allowed the emotional tension to break with a roll of her eyes. “See the green suitcase over there?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s just for ghost gadgets.”
“Oh geez, yikes.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, maybe you can just…’forget’ that one in the car?” he suggested weakly.
She laughed, and then nudged him playfully with her elbow again. “Sounds like a job for a superhero to take care of tomorrow.”
He laughed right back, and the happy sound brought a warmth to her heart that chased away the last of her uncertainty and anxiety. “Consider it done.”
She smiled, feeling at ease, as he launched into his convoluted plan for how they'd manage to ditch the extra suitcase. He was right. He was going to be just fine.
They both were.