Chapter Text
Chapter 1
The Blackboard Jungle
"You're jealous."
"I am not jealous."
The look Mary Jane Watson turns on Peter Parker is highly skeptical and says that she's not buying Peter's vehement denials. She doesn't say a word. She doesn't have to.
Peter squirms under that look and tries to justify his increasingly tenuous position. "You don't know what it's like MJ! We got up for school this morning and he used his super speed to beat me to the bathroom and then he spent forever in there because apparently, that's the one place he doesn't rush."
Mary Jane still doesn't say a word. She just sits back in her seat and takes a bite of her lunch.
"And he barges into my room and just takes my stuff! He took my..." Peter drops his voice. "He took my web shooters. And he hid them! Just to be a jerk! H-he's the biggest jerk in the history of jerkdom and he's living in my house and stealing my stuff and ---"
"And getting your attention. Face it tiger, sibling rivalry ain't pretty," Mary Jane says.
"It's not sibling rivalry! He's Billy's brother, not mine!" Peter declares indignantly. "What do you even know about it anyway? You're an only child too."
Mary Jane snorts with laughter. "You were an only child. Now you have a brother."
"A big brother." Tommy drops into the seat next to Peter and takes one of the sandwiches from the stack that Bucky packed for Peter. He takes a bite and eyes Peter smugly. "I'm a sophomore."
"You're a sophomore that I have to tutor in math," Peter shoots back. He considers swiping his sandwich back but Tommy's already eaten half of it. "What happened to your lunch?"
"I ate it. Bucky knows how to pack a lunch."
"How's your first day going?" Mary Jane asks Tommy.
Tommy shrugs. "School's school, you know. This place is kind of a dump though. My old school was a lot more modern."
"Gee, what a shame you blew it up," Peter says. "You'd still be going there."
"I heard this place got blown up three times because of you, Spidey," Tommy sneers.
"Shhh!"
Tommy smirks and swipes Peter's dessert.
Just as Peter is about to attempt to grab back the cookies that Mary Jane made for him, he sees Flash Thompson approaching. Because of course his lunch period can't get any worse.
"Yo, new kid," Flash calls.
Tommy turns slowly and looks Flash up and down, silently sending the message that he's clearly not impressed by Flash or his three friends from the football team.
Flash is smirking now because he knows he's attracted the attention of everybody in the cafeteria. "What are you? Another Parker cousin? A kissing cousin, like good ol' Sarge?"
"Nah," Tommy says slowly as he slides out of his seat to face Flash. He's shorter and more slender but the size difference doesn't matter. Not with Tommy's mutant abilities. "I'm one of those emotionally damaged foster kids you read about. You know, like an abused pit bull that some kind family thinks they can rehabilitate until it loses its temper and rips some poor asshole's face off."
"Is that so?" Flash sneers. "You know what they do with those dogs, puppy? They put 'em down."
"Not without a fight."
Peter winces. He doesn't like the direction of this conversation. At all. And it's only Tommy's first day at Midtown High. "Tommy --"
"Tommy," Flash repeats and then his voice takes on a mocking lisp as he goes on. "Does Tommy want his mommy? Was Tommy's mommy a crackhead? Is that why Tommy's living in Pantywaist Parker's house with Parker's loony tune cousin? And we all know about Parker's cousin, don't we guys?"
Flash's dumb jock friends make kissing noises.
Tommy lunges.
Peter leaps out of his seat, putting himself between Flash and Tommy and ignores his blaring Spidey sense as he tries to stop the already out of control situation from getting any worse. Tommy's fist connects with Peter's face instead of Flash's chest. It's not the hardest Peter's been punched. Not by a long shot. But since it's a solid punch to his nose, the blood starts spurting immediately.
Flash guffaws.
Tommy lunges again.
And chaos erupts.
The last thing Peter sees before everybody dog piles him is the horrified look on Dean of Students Reynolds' face.
00000000000000000000000000000
Bad Times at Midtown High
Barnes throws open the door to the Dean of Students' office to find Peter and Tommy sitting on a bench on one side of the office and Flash Thompson and three of his idiot friends standing across the room on the other. The front of Petey's shirt is covered in blood and he's holding an ice pack to his nose. His left eye is swelled shut. Tommy has a cut over his left eye, a split lip and he's holding an ice pack to his hand.
Flash Thompson doesn't have a scratch on him. Neither do his friends.
On the one hand, Barnes understands the importance of Peter and Tommy maintaining their secret identities. On the other...
"I should have known that Parker kid was causing trouble again." The booming voice is coming from the doorway, from an overweight slob in a patrolman's uniform. He's a vision of what Flash is going to look like in a few years when the muscle inevitably goes to fat because Flash doesn't have what it takes to go pro in sports. Barnes can also detect the rancid scent of booze coming from the man's pores, which tells him all he needs to know about the elder Thompson. "We're going to sue you this time, Parker! You'll be living in a refrigerator box under the Queensboro Bridge when I get through with you."
Barnes turns slowly and puts himself into the asshole's path. "That's nothing compared to the lawsuit I'm going to slap you with, fathead senior. Your kid's been harassing mine for months and his friends have been dumb enough to post videos of it on YouTube."
Dean Reynolds comes flying out of his office. "Sergeant Reilly! Let's not be hasty! I'm sure we can settle this without --"
"Naming you as a party?" Foggy Nelson comes striding into the office and winks at Barnes as he takes his place at Barnes' side. "Sorry I'm late." He holds out a hand to Dean Reynolds. "I'm Foggy Nelson of Nelson and Murdock and you, Dean Reynolds, have officially been served."
Reynolds looks down in horror at the piece of paper that Foggy's just slapped into his hand.
Foggy hands another document to the elder Thompson. "You, Harrison Thompson, have also been served. And I am also serving you with this restraining order. Your son, Eugene, must stay at least five hundred feet away from Peter at all times. I'll be serving you with a second restraining order for Tommy later today but you should probably warn Eugene over there to pretend it exists now in order to avoid being named in a second lawsuit."
"Eugene?" Tommy echoes.
Peter elbows him sharply in the ribs. "Shut up!"
Thompson senior stares down at the complaint in disbelief. "Post traumatic stress disorder? Emotional distress? One hundred thousand dollars?"
"Plus costs and punitive damages," Foggy says sweetly. He turns back to Dean Reynolds. "We're alleging that you and the school are jointly and severally liable since you were on notice about the bullying and chose to take no action. It might help your case if you suspend Mr. Thompson. In the meantime, Peter and Tommy are leaving for home now. They need medical attention and if necessary, we'll amend the lawsuit to reflect that as well. Have a nice day."
Barnes grabs Tommy with one hand and Petey with the other and hauls them to their feet, dragging them from the office, down the stairs and out into the street where he lets go and turns to Foggy. "Thank you."
"I know it wasn't as satisfying as going in there and beating everyone to a pulp," Foggy begins.
"Are you kidding? That was more satisfying," Barnes tell him. "Fathead senior didn't see that coming. I'm glad I talked to you about that bullying lawsuit I saw in the news."
"I'm glad you did, too. We might even get a settlement out of this." Foggy snorts a laugh. "Your call came at the perfect time. I just finished opening arguments in front of a very friendly judge who was bullied in school when she was a kid. She was more than happy to sign the restraining order for me."
Barnes shakes Foggy's hand. "I appreciate it."
Foggy waves and heads for the subway.
Both kids cast looks of pure misery in Barnes' direction.
He prolongs their misery by not saying a word as he marches the pair the entire eight blocks home. Steering the boys to the sofa, Barnes folds his arms over his chest and eyes them sternly. "So."
"It's his fault!" Tommy points at Petey.
Petey's mouth drops open. "Mine? Dude, you punched me in the face!"
"You got in the way!"
"Because you could have killed Flash if you hit him that hard!"
"Yeah? Well, look what you did to me!" Tommy raises both arms, displaying a ring of bruises around each wrist. "While you were holding me back, those clowns beat the snot out of me and I don't heal fast like you do!"
"So it was okay for them to stomp on me because I have a healing factor?" Petey demands incredulously. "Wow, you are really a --"
"Enough!" Barnes thunders.
The boys fall silent.
He eyes Tommy. "Here's how this works, Tommy. You don't get in fights at school until you learn how to pull your punches."
"What?!" Petey squawks.
"Nobody saw Tommy get bit by a spider," Barnes says. "He wants to rough house, that's fine with me as long as he's smart about it. That means not getting caught and not using too much force."
Tommy snorts. "You got your powers from getting bitten by a spider? Dude, that's so lame!"
"I got mine from being experimented on by HYDRA," Barnes snaps. "I'd have preferred getting bit by a damn spider."
Tommy sobers immediately. "Sorry, Bucky."
"I'm not the one you need to apologize to, punk."
The two boys look at each other.
"Go on," Barnes says. "Petey did the right thing and from the looks of him, he took the brunt of your beating for you."
"My beating?" Tommy echoes.
Barnes nods. "Petey doesn't get into fights at school --"
"No, he gets atomic wedgies and locker knockers because he's --"
"Protecting his identity," Barnes finishes. "So I know without either of you telling me that Flash came looking for trouble and you gave it to him. Petey stopped you from making things worse and you gave him a bloody nose for his effort."
Tommy blows out a sigh. "Thank you, Petey."
"Bite me, you jackass," Peter grumbles.
"For the sake of what little sanity I have, could you two try to get along?" Barnes demands. "And if not for me, for Aunt May. The two of you are driving her up the friggin' wall with your bickering."
"He stole my web shooters! And my lunch!" Peter declares indignantly.
"I took one lousy sandwich," Tommy shoots back. "You had a giant stack of them."
"I didn't have a giant stack of cookies and you took those!"
"Your girlfriend didn't mind."
"Stay away from her."
"Why? You think she likes me better?"
Barnes manages to grab Petey just in time. Aunt May swears the boys will learn to get along. Eventually.
He hopes that happens before he's a hundred.
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Later, on the Upper West Side
Billy Kaplan knows something is up when his mother comes home with Chinese food. Balanced, healthy meals are a way of life in the Kaplan household, especially with a father who's a cardiologist and a mother who's a psychologist. Then again, with two professional parents, takeout is also a way of life in the Kaplan household.
"We're not waiting for Dad?" Billy asks his mother.
Rebecca Kaplan shakes her head. "One of his patients is in the hospital. He's going to be late." And then she mutters under her breath, "The one time I needed him here..."
"Mom?"
"Nothing. Set the table."
Billy sets the table and waits for his mother to change out of her suit and into her house clothes. His relationship with his parents isn't strained, exactly, but things between them have been weird since he came out. For the second time. As a mutant. The first time was supposed to have been him explaining he was a mutant but instead, his parents embraced his homosexuality and welcomed Teddy to the family. This latest time? His coming out had a lot of baggage attached to it.
His mother pours herself a glass of wine and reaches for the container of pork lo mein.
"Is everything okay, Mom?" Billy asks because everything is clearly not okay. His mother almost never has wine with dinner.
"Your father and I want to invite your other family members over for Passover."
Billy blinks. "I-I'm not s-sure they celebrate it."
"Invite them anyway," his mother says firmly.
"Which ones?"
"All of them."
"Um..." Billy looks around the dining room. "That's kind of a lot of people." He starts ticking off names on his fingers. "Wanda, Pietro, Tommy, Erik, Peter, Bucky, Steve, Aunt May, Jessica, Matt --"
"Billy, I said your other family members not all of your friends."
"Well," Billy says slowly. "They're kind of the same thing. Tommy is living with Peter, Bucky and Aunt May. We'd have to invite them, right?"
His mother nods. "I suppose."
"Steve is Peter's other dad. Adoptive," Billy adds hastily when his mother looks confused. "Jessica is Peter's, uh, twin. Matt is her adoptive father. And then there's Gwen, who's their --"
"No." Billy's mother rubs the bridge of her nose. "You will invite Wanda, Pietro, Tommy and, uh, Erik. That's all."
Billy swallows hard and steels himself. "Erik's going to ask if we can invite Peter and since Tommy is living with Aunt May and Bucky..."
"Fine," Billy's mother sighs. "Tell them it's going to be a traditional Passover meal. Matzo ball soup, brisket, gefilte fish, the works."
"From Zabar's?" Billy asks, referring to the famous Jewish specialty food store on the Upper West Side where every Passover dinner his mother ever served came from.
She eyes him reproachfully. "You know I don't have time to cook. Not with the deadline for my latest book hanging over me and that class I'm teaching at Hunter College."
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Your father and I discussed it, Billy." His mother purses her lips in thought. "You know, why don't you invite Captain Rogers, too? You say he's Peter's other father?"
Billy knows the real reason why his mother wants Steve there and it's not because he's Peter's other dad. Still, that just gives him the opening he needs to ask, "Can I invite Teddy?"
"Fine," his mother relents with a sigh. "Call everyone after dinner and let me know who's coming." Under her breath she adds, "Your father is going to owe me a prescription of Valium for this."
Billy has the feeling his mother is going to need every single pill.