Archive of Our Own ^beta

Under the yellow glow of the chandelier’s candelabras, Hyunjin stares at his reflection in the mirror of that cold, empty room. He holds a white satin ribbon between his teeth, the same one his mother instructed him to use to tie back half of the black strands cascading down his nape.

"Your hair covers your face, Hyunjin," she says at some point during afternoon tea. "Tonight, everyone must see you clearly so they’ll know how handsome Donghyun’s fiancé is."

Donghyun’s fiancé.

For the past few months, that title has become almost a second name. Once, he was simply Hwang Hyunjin, the only child of the Hwang family, raised on a coffee farm under the stifling protection of his parents. Now, he is Hyunjin, Donghyun’s fiancé, son of the prestigious Lee family, the eldest of three sons, the only alpha, whose vineyard stretches out like a continent.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and ties his hair the way his mother taught him. He leaves his fringe to frame his forehead and brush against his flushed cheeks, but he still prefers his hair loose, a few soft waves falling into his eyes. That’s how he feels beautiful, though, apparently, it’s not how they think he looks beautiful.

He looks at his outfit: a white long-sleeved shirt, frilled at the wrists. Silver buttons glint under the chandelier light, fastened up to the collar as he clasps matching necklaces around his neck. On his ears, expensive earrings; on his fingers, rings he doesn’t even want to know the price of. All gifts from Donghyun, as if the fiancé wants to flaunt his wealth to the guests, and Hyunjin is merely the one meant to wear it all around the mansion.

Tonight marks the official announcement of his engagement to Lee Donghyun. Hyunjin, a twenty-year-old omega, is about to leave his hometown, the warmth of his own bed, and move into this mansion where Donghyun and his two brothers live with their parents. He remembers asking Donghyun if they could have a house in the countryside, somewhere he could build an art studio or tend to a greenhouse in his spare time, but the alpha remains firm, saying it is a family requirement that he, as the only alpha son, stays in his parents’ home after marriage to run the family business. Hyunjin cannot argue with him. His mother has already scolded him enough for making demands of his alpha before they’re even married.

Still, Hyunjin has resigned himself to his fate. He will marry, live in the Lee family mansion, stroll around the city with his brothers-in-law, and after a few months, start having pups. He’ll raise them, teach them to read adventure books, especially if they’re alphas, and spend the rest of his life being the good omega his mother raised him to be.

A knock on the door pulls Hyunjin out of his brief daze. He draws a deep breath into his lungs.

"Come in," he says, expecting it to be his mother, Haesoo.

But when the door opens and the faintly sweet scent of ginger fills the air, he knows it’s Donghyun. His shoulders tense, and he blinks rapidly at the unexpected visit.

The alpha wears tailored trousers, polished shoes, and a black shirt with silver-gray textures. His blond hair is slicked back, and there’s a slight smile on his lips. Donghyun is handsome, Hyunjin would admit, just not handsome enough to make him happy to see him right now. He’s so nervous he’d rather have anyone but an alpha in this room.

"I wasn’t expecting you," Hyunjin says, swallowing hard as Donghyun approaches.

Now, with his back to the mirror, Hyunjin can anticipate every movement of his fiancé. When they stand face to face, Donghyun raises a hand and gently touches his flushed cheek, brushing his thumb near his chin.

"You look beautiful," Donghyun says, seeming genuinely admiring. "The jewelry suits you."

"Thank you," Hyunjin replies, glancing at the necklaces hanging around his neck and the rings on his fingers. He doesn’t mention how the rings make his skin itch. "I’ll come down in a minute."

"I came to get you," Donghyun raises his eyebrows. "Let’s go down together."

"I thought..."

"I wanted you to walk down the stairs alone so everyone could look at you. But I think having all eyes on both of us is even better."

Of course, Hyunjin thinks. A prize beside the champion.

"I see," he says, lowering his eyes. "You could have asked my mother to tell me. Then you wouldn’t have needed to come all the way here."

"You didn’t like that I came to your room?"

Hyunjin blushes. Suddenly, he realizes what he just said.

"I..." He bites the inside of his cheek once, searching for the right words. "Actually, I don’t think it’s proper for an alpha, um... for an alpha to be in my room when I’m alone."

"What are you talking about?" Donghyun chuckles softly. "I’m your fiancé, Hyunjin. Not a stranger."

"I know, but..." Hyunjin starts looking around the room, searching for an exit. "If my mother sees you here, she might..."

Hyunjin knows Haesoo won’t say a word about Donghyun being in her son’s room. With the size of his vineyard and barrels full of money, Donghyun could devour Hyunjin whole and they wouldn’t even notice the bite marks.

"Don’t worry about that," Donghyun says, and the scent of ginger grows stronger. Hyunjin shivers, his nose twitching, not in a good way. "Ready?"

"Hm-hm," he murmurs with a nod. Donghyun clicks his tongue.

"What did we say about words?"

"Sorry," Hyunjin smiles nervously. "Yes."

"Good."

Donghyun offers his arm, and Hyunjin takes it so they can leave the room and head for the stairs. As they cross the corridor, the music grows louder and Hyunjin’s palms sweat even more. He’s nervous. He can’t remember a time he stood before so many people, being the center of attention. He feels like a helpless sheep in the middle of a hundred lions, all ready to tear him apart.

As they descend the steps, Hyunjin feels eyes turn one by one toward them. The soft music seems to mock the stiffness in his shoulders and the way his fingers subtly try to pull away from his fiancé’s arm, clutching at the black shirt that absorbs the sweat from his hands.

Donghyun’s other hand rests on his waist. Not forcefully, never enough to feel aggressive, but just enough to remind him he’s not allowed to step away.

Hyunjin keeps his eyes down, focusing on not tripping over the stairs. His mother would rip out his scent gland with her teeth if he were clumsy enough to fall at his own engagement party. His heart pounds too loudly, drowning out even the melody of the piano in his ears. His skin itches under the jewelry, the shirt collar chafes, and Donghyun’s ginger scent suffocates him like smoke.

When they reach the bottom of the staircase, a gentle wave of applause spreads through the vast Lee mansion. Smiling relatives, whispering acquaintances. He spots Haesoo in a puffy white dress, nodding with pride, while Kyungmin raises a glass of wine in silent toast.

"Smile," Donghyun murmurs close to his ear. "Otherwise, it’ll look like you’re not happy."

"Sorry," Hyunjin turns to him with a wide smile. "I am, I swear I am."

"I know," Donghyun smirks, nodding. "How could you not be?"

Hyunjin swallows hard, trying to keep his smile steady. He and his family will spend a few days at the mansion, invited by Donghyun’s parents so they can get to know the place their only son will call home. It’s only his second day here, and Hyunjin already wants to go back. Back to his books, to his canvases, to the plants in his garden that might die of longing if he stays away too long. But he must keep smiling, or it’ll look like he’s not happy. What an irony.

"Let’s go talk to the guests."

They move through the ballroom for long minutes, greeting smiling faces and shaking hands that smell too strongly. All those scents blending, alphas with their sour tang, omegas with all that sweetness (still better than the bitterness), and Hyunjin just wishes he didn’t have to breathe at all during this party.

Donghyun guides him, still keeping a discreet hold to avoid causing a scandal, stopping here and there to exchange polite words with business partners, compliment dresses, and comment on the family wines as if they’re a part of him. Hyunjin simply follows, smiling when necessary, nodding, murmuring short, polite responses.

"Oh, thank you. It was a gift from my fiancé."
"Really? I'm glad you liked the outfit."
"Do I plan to have pups? Of course, at least four."

Hyunjin feels like a pretty ornament being paraded from table to table, and maybe that’s exactly what Donghyun wants him to be.

When the alpha finally leaves him alone with the excuse of smoking with a few acquaintances in a private room, Hyunjin feels the sting in his nose subside. He takes a deep breath, standing close to a pillar by the staircase, feeling momentarily free from so many stares.

The nauseating mix of scents begins to fade, and his lungs fill with something soft and comforting, not sweet or sour, rancid or harsh. It’s simply good. The scent seems to slip beneath his sensitive skin, silencing the buzzing in his ears, bringing him back to himself, not an accessory at this engagement party, but a person.

It smells like peaches, and Hyunjin knows exactly where it’s coming from.

Suddenly, the scent is overpowered by something strong and earthy, wild roots, which makes Hyunjin wrinkle his nose. Not because it smells bad, but because it simply doesn’t compare to the former and feels, somehow, oppressive.

He turns his head and spots them greeting a few guests: Lee Felix, Donghyun’s younger brother, and Lee Minho, his fiancé.

They make a beautiful couple, Hyunjin thinks. Minho is an alpha also in the wine business, which seems incredibly convenient for the family. For a moment, Hyunjin wonders why Donghyun’s parents hadn’t picked an omega who also stomps grapes for their only alpha. Coffee and wine aren’t exactly a classic pairing.

Felix, on the other hand, is the one who smells like peaches, Hyunjin’s favorite fruit. That small detail could very well be the reason he feels calmer when he breathes in the familiar aroma. Still, as he stares at the couple, it’s not really his intention to look at them so intently, Hyunjin realizes his gaze is returned.

Felix doesn’t like him, Hyunjin is certain. Since the Hwangs arrived at the estate the day before, the brother-in-law hasn’t spoken a single word to him. The middle brother, Seungmin, had seemed warm and welcoming, even saying he was glad their older brother had found such a kind fiancé, adding that they’d surely have beautiful pups. But not Felix. All he does is stare at him with those feline eyes, as if trying to read every inch of his soul.

Hyunjin feels scrutinized, and it bothers him more than he’d like to admit. Not that he has anything to hide from Felix or anyone else, but there’s something about the calculated way he observes him that makes Hyunjin feel vulnerable. As if the brother-in-law is actively looking for something to dislike about him, a weakness, a flaw that would prove Hyunjin doesn’t deserve to be there as Donghyun’s fiancé.

Hyunjin knows he’s not imagining things; Felix’s eyes hold no hint of warmth or camaraderie.

While everyone around is caught up in shallow conversations and manufactured smiles, nobody actually thinks everyone’s beautiful, for God’s sake, Felix’s gaze weighs on him. Ironically, he puts the weight back that the peach scent had momentarily lifted.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to be the target of his brother-in-law’s hostility, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s being meticulously judged, as if every move he makes is being noted, logged, and deemed wrong.

Hwang Hyunjin, the omega whose family grows coffee and who clearly doesn’t belong in this family. Look at us and our alphas. Lee Minho, owner of expensive land and vineyards, Seo Changbin, Seungmin’s husband and a key business partner of my father. Go back to your paintings and your plants, Hyunjin, those might actually miss you. You don’t belong here.

The thought cuts through Hyunjin’s mind like a sharp blade, cruel and silent. He tries to dismiss it, but the voice, even if imaginary, settles into his head, making it hard to tell what’s real and what’s just the suffocating grip of his own insecurity.

His stomach tightens, his throat closes up. Felix is still staring at him, as if reading every toxic thought.

Hyunjin forgets the guests, the fiancé, Haesoo, and any rule stating he can’t leave his own engagement party. He walks quickly toward the garden, dodging any attempt at conversation. He pushes through the back door and steps outside. The garden is empty. The ballroom music gives way to crickets chirping and the trickle of a large fountain.

He walks to the fountain and sits on its edge, running his fingers through his black hair. He looks up at the starry sky, eyes settling on the full moon casting light on the night. Hyunjin breathes deeply, eyes closed now, silently begging his mind not to betray him again. It’s only the second day. The second day of an entire lifetime.

"Hyunjin?"

He’s pulled from his thoughts when a deep voice calls his name. He opens his eyes to see, right in front of him, blocking the moonlight with long blond hair, Lee Felix.

The scent of peaches grows stronger suddenly. Hyunjin feels his own scent gland tingle, releasing more of his honeyed aroma. Alarmed, he lifts a hand to the spot behind his ear, feeling the texture of the gland beneath his fingers.

"Are you feeling unwell?" Felix speaks again when Hyunjin doesn’t respond.

Those are the first words Felix has ever directed at him. Hyunjin wonders if Minho sent him to look for him, or perhaps Donghyun. He scans the freckled face for signs of displeasure to confirm the theories spiraling in his mind, but all he finds is calm.

"I just needed some fresh air," Hyunjin says. "All those scents…"

Felix lets out a soft laugh, the white-and-gold sleeves of his outfit fluttering in the evening breeze. He takes two steps and sits beside Hyunjin at the fountain’s edge. Hyunjin turns to him.

"I get it," Felix says. "I’m sensitive to scents too, and you know, there are so many alphas here tonight. I feel like my house is going to stink for a month."

Hyunjin can’t help but laugh, even if it feels absurd to laugh at something said by the same brother-in-law who, just moments ago, seemed ready to burn him alive with a single glance.

"It’s okay to step outside and breathe," Felix continues. "I saw you leaving."

"You did?"

"Yeah. You looked a little dizzy, so I got worried. Are you sure you’re okay?"

"I…" Hyunjin is a bit stunned. Felix is really asking about his wellbeing and came to find him on his own? "Yes."

"That’s good," Felix nods. "I know a great tea for nausea, if you ever need it. Also, in case you’re worried about something…"

Then Felix’s eyes drop to Hyunjin’s torso, right over his stomach. Hyunjin frowns.

"I’m not having stomach pain."

"Not stomach pain, but… you know. The sort of things omegas usually worry about when they have an alpha."

Hyunjin tilts his head. What is Felix talking about? Beyond the sudden shift in attitude, now he’s worried Hyunjin might be… what, pregnant? What is even the point of this?

"I don’t understand," Hyunjin says again.

"Hm." Felix glances out at the garden, biting his lower lip. "I’m talking about pups."

"Pups?" His face contorts further in confusion. "Why would I worry about pups? I’m not even married yet."

"You don’t need to be married to worry about pups," Felix laughs. "I mean, my brother Seungmin drank so much cinnamon bark tea during his engagement to Changbin I thought he was going to turn red. As for me, I know some natural contraceptives that work way better than cinnamon."

Hyunjin’s eyes go wide, stunned at the suggestion that Seungmin and Felix… do things with their alphas before marriage. His face burns and a wave of discomfort creeps up his spine. His fingers are already sweaty, probably staining the white fabric of his clothes.

"Wait…" Hyunjin blinks several times, trying to absorb what he’s just heard. He’s afraid to ask, not wanting to be misunderstood. "Are you saying that you and your fiancé…?"

Felix looks at him again, and his face is painted with a mix of surprise and faint amusement at Hyunjin’s disbelief.

"Yes," he answers casually, shrugging. "You and my brother don’t?"

"No!" Hyunjin replies instantly, choking a bit on his own saliva. "I mean, of course not. I… I’m not married. I’m not allowed to… God, to lie with an alpha, with Donghyun, I mean… No. No."

Felix watches him closely, eyes narrowing as if trying to see something beneath Hyunjin’s words. Then he tilts his head a little, like a curious cat.

"I see," he says, voice soft but still laced with irony. "So you follow tradition."

Hyunjin bites his lower lip and nods. He doesn’t know why Felix is asking him these things, he doesn’t even know why Felix is there, talking to him in the garden while a party full of important people, including his own fiancé, Lee Minho, is happening inside.

Which means… maybe it’s a test. Maybe Felix is lying about him and Seungmin sleeping with their alphas before marriage just to trap Hyunjin, to prove he’s unfit for Donghyun. He could twist his words, go to the parents and say, "Hwang Hyunjin is a libertine," and that would be the end. He’d be cast out, banished to the woods for the rest of his life.

"I follow what I was taught." His voice comes out hesitant, almost a whisper.

"Of course," Felix nods, hands resting against the stone edge of the fountain.

Behind them, the water flows gently. The scent of peach fades a little, as does the honey.

"Can I ask you something?" Felix says. Hyunjin nods without thinking about what kind of question might come next. "Does my brother treat you well?"

Hyunjin stays silent for a moment. Donghyun has never treated him poorly, not since they met. Even as a traditional alpha, he’s not cruel or harsh. Everything that bothers Hyunjin is part of that general bundle of alpha behaviors, expecting submission from their omegas, treating them as an extension of themselves. But Donghyun treats him well. He greets him with kisses to the back of the hand, gives him jewelry, takes him on walks that always end in the vineyards… but Donghyun treats him well, doesn’t he?

For an omega, what could be better than that?

"He does," Hyunjin answers, voice quiet. "He’s… polite. He respects my parents, my wishes. He’s never been rude to me."

Felix stays silent, still facing the garden as he listens. Hyunjin feels the urge to keep talking, maybe out of nerves, maybe because he needs to convince himself.

"He compliments me. Says he likes my scent, the way I carry myself, my gentleness. And he listens to me, sometimes. When I have something to say. Though he doesn’t like it when I talk about my plants. He… always smiles when he sees me, and he’s never forced me to do anything."

"Never forced," Felix repeats, turning his face slowly, narrowing his eyes at him. "But what about you? Do you like him?"

Hyunjin freezes.

That question sounds more intimate than anything said so far. More intimate than the comment about puppies, more personal than their scents blending together. Felix is there, his face half-shadowed by the pale moonlight, waiting for an answer Hyunjin doesn’t know how to give.

"I..." he begins, but the word dies in his throat.

Felix doesn’t rush him. He simply looks away again, as if the question is light, as if his presence there is casual. Hyunjin feels his fingers tighten against the cold edge of the fountain. He wants to answer, wants to be sure, but all that exists inside him is a vast and uncomfortable silence.

"I like Minho," Felix says before he can, shrugging. "He’s a good alpha. We match well."

"I’m glad," Hyunjin says. "He seems respectful."

Felix lets out a quiet laugh, biting his lower lip.

"In some ways."

"In some ways?"

"Minho’s cheeky," Felix explains. "They all are, really. Why do you think my brother used to drink cinnamon tea every month?"

"They… force you to do that?" Hyunjin swallows hard.

"Force us? No, of course not," Felix sighs, as if searching for the right words. "They don’t need to force anything," he continues, and his voice is tinged with resignation. "They just… make it seem natural, expected, like it’s part of the deal when you’re with an alpha. You get what I mean?"

Hyunjin doesn’t, but he nods.

"You don’t like doing it, then?"

"Oh, Hyun," Felix laughs again, shaking his head. The nickname slips out so naturally Hyunjin barely notices.

"What?"

"We like it," he says firmly. "It feels good. Alphas aren’t the only ones who enjoy sex."

And just like that, he finally says the word. Hyunjin’s cheeks burn like stones beneath a blazing fire.

"Sex," Felix repeats, as if savoring the sound of that profane word, a half-smile playing on his full, red lips. "You don’t need to blush like that, Hyunjin. We’re both omegas. We know what desire is."

Hyunjin lowers his gaze, embarrassed. The word still burns in his ears, like it was never meant to be spoken so close to him. It feels almost sinful, giving him the impression that he could be punished just for thinking about it. Sex still feels like a distant idea, wrapped in layers of guilt and expectation, something reserved for after marriage with his alpha. His heats are unconscious, all in shades of gray, dulled by herbal teas that keep him from feeling what Felix has just described.

Desire.

Hyunjin doesn’t know what desire is. He doesn’t know what it means to want.

"Sorry," Felix says, noticing his silence. "Did I say something that made you uncomfortable?"

"I just… I’m not used to this kind of conversation," he admits, his voice cracking. "People around me never talk about this."

"Well, maybe they should," Felix says calmly. "It’d be easier for everyone if we knew from the start that pleasure isn’t something only alphas are allowed to feel."

Hyunjin bites his lip. The world Felix paints sounds so different from the one he knows, it almost feels dangerous. Or liberating.

Felix leans in slightly toward him, his eyes gleaming like he’s about to share a secret.

"You don’t have to be ashamed of what you feel, Hyun."

There’s the nickname again. Soft. Familiar. Dangerous.

For the first time since Felix came to him, Hyunjin doesn’t know if the heat in his cheeks comes from embarrassment or from the way Felix is looking at him.

"What I feel?"

Felix nods.

"If you want your alpha, you don’t have to follow tradition. Do what you want to do."

Hyunjin isn’t supposed to say what he truly feels to Felix, but he wants to. The problem is: how can he say whether he wants Donghyun if he doesn’t even know what that means?

"How… how do I know that?"

Felix runs his tongue over his lips and leans in a little more. His scent gland tingles, and the honey smell becomes so strong it feels like it’s being cooked on high heat. The peach grows sweeter all of a sudden. Hyunjin feels dizzy as Felix begins to speak.

"Wanting someone is..."

"Oh, there you are!"

Hyunjin shakes his head as Donghyun’s voice cuts through the garden, sounding relieved. Felix pulls away calmly, his feet swinging in slow, solemn rhythm.

"I thought you’d been kidnapped," Donghyun jokes as he approaches them. "You dragged him out here, didn’t you?" he says to his brother.

"Hyun wanted to see the fish in the fountain."

Hyunjin swallows and nods. It hadn’t crossed his mind, until that moment, that there were even fish in the fountain.

"Right, you can look at the fish later," Donghyun says, extending a hand to his fiancé. "Minho’s looking for you. Stop being so rebellious and go back to your groom."

"He likes my rebellious side," Felix replies, already getting to his feet, and Hyunjin stands with him.

Then they part ways, heading back to the party. The scent of honey fades to almost nothing, covered now by the sharpness of ginger.

For the rest of the party, Hyunjin keeps thinking about that profane word echoing in his mind, and what Felix might have said if Donghyun hadn’t interrupted him.

Desire.

What does it mean to want someone, Felix?

☾𖤓

When Hyunjin steps into the guest room where he’s been sleeping, the one that smells like lemon balm and not like coconut soap the way his room on the farm does, he feels his legs go weak.

The party ended just a few minutes ago, and he didn’t allow space for more empty conversations with Donghyun’s parents, or with Seungmin and the husband who makes him drink cinnamon bark tea, nor with Felix.

Felix.

Hyunjin closes his eyes, staring at the ceiling. He walks over to the mirror and takes the satin ribbon from his hair, leaving it on the vanity. His hair falls across his face and he feels his scalp relax. His body burns like it’s a summer night, even though it’s the dead of winter. He takes off his shoes, the jewelry that feels like it’s searing his skin, and then the white shirt.

He looks at his own torso, smooth and naturally slim, the narrow waist disappearing into the waistband of his trousers. He swallows hard, and when he lowers the pants, he feels something slick between his legs. It’s a familiar kind of wetness, but still somehow distant. He only ever feels this when he’s in heat, and even then, he’s barely familiar with the natural reactions of his own body.

The teas he drinks keep him asleep nearly the entire time, and in moments of clarity, he cries from agonizing pain, his cock hard against his lower belly and that same viscous liquid soaking his mattress. Then he drinks more tea, and he sleeps, and later wakes up crying.

But now, he’s not in heat, not even close.

When he looks back in the mirror, his eyes go wide. His cock is hard, wet at the tip. Hyunjin shakes his head twice. Is his heat returning already? Did he miscalculate? Is he losing his mind?

So many questions start to crowd his thoughts, all tangled together in a mess he can’t begin to sort through. He covers his face with both hands, his skin prickling all over, his slick running down his thighs, the scent of honey quickly filling the room.

"God, what’s happening to me?" Hyunjin whispers, rushing toward the tub of water near the window, prepared by a servant for his bath, since he still doesn’t feel comfortable using the bathroom.

He sinks into the warm water, leaving only his face above the surface. He shuts his eyes, throat dry, lips tingling, his cock hard beneath the water and the slick that smells like honey dissolving slowly, but still there, still present.

What does it mean to want someone, Felix?

"Stop. Stop," he tells himself, staring up at the ceiling. "You’re sick, Hwang Hyunjin. Your heat is out of sync. You need an omega doctor right now."

But what would he tell his mother? That he’s leaking slick after a party full of alphas? After an unexpected visit from his fiancé in his bedroom before they came downstairs? After disappearing for long minutes? He would be ruined.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and tries to calm down, but all he sees when he closes his eyes is the starry night sky outside. The stars slowly disappear into a viscous cloud filled with golden threads, and then suddenly become freckles scattered across a graceful face. Felix materializes in his mind, the feline gaze, almost mischievous, the sweet smile, the words that stir something far too deep inside Hyunjin. Every detail of the other omega, from the soft peach scent to the sudden concern for his well-being.

Hyunjin used to think Felix hated him, and then he thought Felix cared, only to now believe Felix wants to drive him mad.

"You don’t have to be ashamed of what you feel, Hyun, " he had said.

But what does Hyunjin feel?

At some point, lost in the heat of the water and the thoughts that make every pore on his body feel like it’s erupting with molten lava, Hyunjin realizes it.

It’s desire.

☾𖤓

In the morning, Hyunjin wakes up feeling more exhausted than when he went to sleep.

The night is sleepless, filled with conflicting thoughts that don’t follow any continuous flow. Every time he thinks sleep has finally arrived, Hyunjin wakes up again, body warm, sweating. He tries staring at the ceiling, hoping the monotony will lull him to sleep, but it doesn’t work. He tries counting sheep, or any other animal, but ends up losing track and getting irritated. Finally, he settles into a comfortable armchair by the window and simply watches the stars. Only then, while watching the sky, does he manage to fall asleep.

A few hours later, Haesoo wakes him, pulling back the curtains to remind him that after breakfast, he has an engagement with Donghyun.

"Wake up, Hyunjin," she says after letting the morning light spill through the window. "You can’t be late for your outing."

"Hm?" Hyunjin mumbles, slowly opening his eyes. He shifts in the armchair and sees his mother standing directly in front of him, her voluminous dress sweeping the floor.

Haesoo is a beautiful alpha, but stern, and Hyunjin sees it in every expression she wears.

"The horseback ride you’re taking with your fiancé today. Don’t tell me you forgot."

Oh. The ride.
Hyunjin forgot.

"No, I didn’t forget," he says, straightening his posture and stretching his arms.

"Good. Then get dressed and come downstairs. I don’t want you keeping your fiancé waiting."

"Alright," Hyunjin nods. "I just need a minute."

"We’ll be waiting downstairs. By the way, why were you sleeping in that chair?"

"I’m not used to the mattress," he says, pointing to the bed with his chin.

"Then you’d better get used to it. You know this will be your home very soon."

"I could ask my alpha to buy a new mattress, like the ones we have on the farm."

"Hyunjin, darling, the mattresses in this mansion are as expensive as you can imagine. Don’t trouble your future husband with such silly requests, alright?"

Hyunjin nods, lowering his gaze. Haesoo leaves the room, and he’s left alone in the morning light, his hair a mess, his face puffy, his eyes heavy from lack of sleep.

Still, he has to get dressed and go on a ride with his husband. A ride he doesn’t even remember. And worse, one he doesn’t even want.

☾𖤓

Hyunjin holds his breath as long as he can.

On a black horse, as sturdy as his own fiancé, they ride through the woods near the mansion. Hyunjin sits in the saddle while Donghyun, pressed close behind him with his chest against Hyunjin’s back, holds the reins.

Donghyun’s scent, sharp and gingery, is strong that morning. Hyunjin fights the urge to lift a hand and cover his nose, not because the smell bothers him that much, but because the wind carries, directly to him, the sweet peachy scent coming from Felix, riding the other horse with his own fiancé.

"You could’ve told me you were coming with us," says Donghyun, glancing at the white horse carrying Felix and Minho. "I would've asked one of the cooks to prepare a snack."

"Felix woke me up saying you two were going riding," Minho replies to his brother-in-law, "and he didn’t let me rest until I agreed to join."

"You’re letting that little brat boss you around already, Minho? And you’re not even married yet," Donghyun laughs.

"So you’d say no to your omega?" Felix asks, raising his eyebrows. Hyunjin catches his gaze from the corner of his eye, he's looking right at him. "If Hyunjin asked to go for a ride, would you say no just to prove he’s not bossing you around?"

"Oh, stop being so cheeky," Donghyun grumbles. "Hyunjin isn’t spoiled like you."

"Alright," Felix shrugs. "Lucky for me I’ve got Minho."

Hyunjin can’t help but smile, even as he keeps his eyes on the horse’s black coat. He likes the way Felix speaks, boldly, without fear of reproach, not even from his brother or his own fiancé. Hyunjin can’t imagine himself saying such things, let alone challenging an alpha the way Felix does, even if that alpha were his brother.

They ride in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds being the horses’ hooves against the damp earth and the rustle of leaves stirred by a cold breeze that makes their skin prickle despite their coats. The trees, tall and spaced wide, let slivers of light pass between their branches, and a thin mist clings low to the ground, dissolving slowly as the morning sun rises.

The smell of damp soil is almost as strong as the ginger scent flooding Hyunjin’s nostrils. The forest begins to open up as they advance, until, through the trees, they spot a lake with crystal-clear water, rimmed with rounded stones and dotted with faint jets of steam rising from the surface. Natural hot springs bubble from beneath the lake, warming the water and sending soft clouds of white vapor drifting through the chilly air.

"We’re here," Minho announces, tugging the reins gently to bring the white horse to a stop at the lake’s edge. The animal snorts, releasing a burst of steam from its nostrils.

Donghyun is the first to dismount. He moves with the sure confidence of an alpha, then turns and offers his arms to Hyunjin, who hesitates for a second before accepting the help. Donghyun grips his waist and guides him gently to the ground, his hands firm yet careful.

"Careful," he murmurs, his voice lower now, almost tender. "The ground’s slippery."

Minho follows suit, dismounting first and then helping Felix down. But unlike his brother’s restrained gesture, he lifts Felix’s slender body into his arms with ease, as if he weighs nothing. Felix lets out a satisfied little laugh, wrapping his arms around his fiancé’s neck, eyes gleaming as he gazes at the warm mist hovering above the lake. Then he presses a kiss to Minho’s lips.

Hyunjin’s eyes go wide, and he turns his face toward Donghyun, fleeing the sudden kiss that hits him without warning.

He’s never kissed his fiancé. He’s never even kissed any alpha. The sharp sound of that kiss, Felix had clearly been the one to initiate it, echoes in his ears, louder than the wind cutting through the trees.

"Are you alright?" Donghyun asks. Hyunjin nods.

"Yes," he says with a sigh. "It’s just cold... I can feel the warmth of the stones through my boots, but the wind is still freezing."

He turns to the lake, avoiding both Donghyun’s gaze and the sight of Felix wrapped around Minho’s neck as the alpha whispers something in his ear. Memories of their conversation at the fountain come rushing back, the revelation that Felix does things with Minho haunting him all over again. God, he wishes he could forget.

He gets lost for a moment staring at the lake. The idea of slipping into that warm water is tempting, especially with the bite of winter air creeping in through his heavy coat.

"Should we rest a bit?" Minho suggests, gently freeing himself from Felix’s arms and tying the reins of his horse to a tree, just as Donghyun does with theirs.

"Rest?" Felix asks, moving closer to his fiancé. "I thought we were getting in the lake."

Minho looks from Donghyun to Felix a few times. Hyunjin notices how Felix looks at him, eyes glittering deliberately, trying to win the alpha over.

"You really want to go in?" Minho asks. Felix nods brightly, squeezing his right arm.

"Alright, but just for a bit, okay?"

"Okay!" Felix exclaims, beaming.

"You want to get in too?" Donghyun asks Hyunjin. He shakes his head immediately.

"You sure? The water’s warm and you’re shivering."

"Yes," Hyunjin answers too quickly. "I’m fine like this."

Donghyun watches him for a moment, eyes scanning his face with what looks like concern. Still, he simply nods, respecting the boundary.

Minho turns around and starts unbuttoning the heavy coat he’s wearing. Felix does the same without hesitation, stripping down piece by piece with ease, as if the biting cold that makes Hyunjin’s skin crawl beneath his layers doesn’t exist.

Hyunjin can’t help it. His eyes follow every movement Felix makes, as though drawn by some invisible force. The omega’s small, slender frame soon emerges from under the winter clothes, revealing pale skin that nearly vanishes into the dense mist around the lake. The soft morning sunlight filters through the trees, catching on beads of vapor that cling to his bare shoulders and back, both speckled with freckles just like his face. He keeps on the thin pants he wears beneath the outer layers, as does Minho, and Hyunjin wonders if it’s really appropriate for an omega to show himself so much to his alpha, especially in front of his brother.

Hand in hand, they step into the lake. When Felix wades in up to his waist, letting out a pleased sigh, Hyunjin holds his breath.

Felix fits into Minho's arms, both of them submerged up to their chests. Minho says something softly in the omega's ear, making him laugh, comfortable with his presence and touch.

Hyunjin feels something uncomfortable growing in his chest, a feeling almost shameful, something he doesn't know how to name. Could it be...?

(No)

The way Felix allows himself to be touched, how his body molds so easily to that of his fiancé, as if he belongs in his embrace, makes Hyunjin dizzy. The way Minho caresses Felix's freckled back and how the pale skin turns red under his rougher touch is not only almost painful, but hypnotizing. Hyunjin can't stop noticing all these details. More than that, he can't stop feeling that thing rising from his stomach, forming a knot in his throat.

Even though it's still a sinful thought, Hyunjin is supposed to want to be in Felix's place. He should want to be cared for by an alpha who clearly loves him and receive all those caresses and words he whispers in his ear. It's normal for someone like him, who has never even had his lips kissed, to wish to be in Felix's place.

However, in a contradiction that almost makes his skin melt with guilt, he can't help but wish to be in Minho's place.

"Are you really okay?" Donghyun repeats the question, now with a more worried tone because of Hyunjin's silence.

"I am," Hyunjin nods. "Sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Donghyun asks. Hyunjin bites the inside of his cheeks and shrugs.

"Don't worry. You're not doing anything wrong. Come, sit by my side."

Donghyun takes Hyunjin's hand so they can sit by the edge of the lake. From where they are, they can see Minho and Felix clearly. The horses, each tied to a tree trunk, puff out steam from the hot water.

Hyunjin sits carefully next to Donghyun, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his feet, wearing brown boots, pressed against the stones. The warmth from the lake rises in gentle waves, but it's not enough to soothe the cold of the breeze cutting through their faces. Donghyun moves a little closer, his arm brushing against Hyunjin's. The smell of ginger becomes stronger, almost bitter, and Hyunjin wrinkles his nose discreetly.

"I like it here," Hyunjin says, looking away again to Felix. It's impossible for him to keep his eyes off him. Felix is now splashing water on Minho's face, laughing loudly while his fiancé tries to shield himself from the little attack. The droplets accumulate on his pale skin, running down his clavicles, and dripping onto his exposed chest. Felix is so beautiful. Not only that: he's alive. "Maybe we can come here more after the... wedding."

"Hyunjin." Donghyun's voice catches his attention. It's low and almost too gentle. "I want you to know that I know this marriage wasn’t your choice. I know it’s a lot to process, being so young, but I'm willing to be a good alpha to you. I want you to feel happy being my omega, okay?"

Hyunjin turns his face slowly. Donghyun is looking at him with honest eyes. Just as he told Felix the night before, his fiancé is a kind alpha. He always has been. Even with the small gestures that make him feel like a prize, Hyunjin wants to believe he's a good person. Still, all Hyunjin can think about is how it would be if that loving look came from another pair of eyes, darker, more intense, more beautiful.

"I appreciate that. You've been... really good to me," he answers, forcing a smile. Donghyun gently tightens the hand holding his. The gesture is comfortable, but it doesn't make his heart race, nor does it make his scent glands tingle.

"You can be happy with him," a part of him whispers. "You can learn to love him." But another part, stubborn and burning, complains that he could have something more, something he can't even have.

His treacherous gaze slips again to Felix, to the way he now rests his head on Minho's shoulder. It strays to the exposed line of his neck, vulnerable and too beautiful. To the way he laughs, as if there is no pain in the world, just that peace Hyunjin has never been able to reach.

It feels so wrong that, while beside his alpha, his eyes drift to someone else. Worse, to his own brother, another omega.

"I'll do my best to make sure you live a good life," Donghyun says. "You believe me, right?"

Hyunjin nods without answering.

Suddenly, a loud whinny echoes. One of the horses, Donghyun's, rears up, pulling hard on the rope that tied it to the tree. In an instant that barely could be captured by the alpha’s eyes, the horse takes off, galloping through the forest, its hooves hitting the wet ground.

Donghyun stands up immediately, running to where the horse had been, his eyes following the trail left by the animal.

"Damn it," he says loudly, "If it gets too far, it’ll hurt itself on that terrain."

Minho, still in the lake, starts moving as well, pulling Felix with him, but Donghyun raises a hand in the air, gesturing to him.

"Minho, come with me. We need to catch up with him before he’s out of sight," he says firmly, already moving along the shore.

Minho hesitates for a moment, looking at Felix, who still has his hands in the water. The omega nods, signaling that everything is fine. Then, Minho climbs out of the water, quickly gathering his clothes and running after Donghyun. In an instant, both alphas disappear between the trees.

The silence that follows is sudden, thick. Only the sound of the water moving and the soft jingling of the leather reins from the white horse can be heard.

Felix turns toward Hyunjin, still in the lake. With soft eyes, he stares at Hyunjin, but there's a trace of curiosity there. Felix slightly furrows his brow, and Hyunjin looks away from his gaze.

"You seem sad," Felix comments. It’s neither an accusation nor a question.

Hyunjin, still sitting on the shore, swallows hard. He knows he’s not good at hiding his emotions.

"And you seem happy," he replies, not thinking. His voice comes out too low, almost a whisper.

Felix smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He walks slowly through the water toward the shore, stopping just a few steps from Hyunjin. The two stay there, face to face, the warmth of the lake between them, the heat radiating from their bodies making everything feel even denser.

"Why didn’t you get in the water?" Felix asks, now immersed only up to his thighs.

Hyunjin lifts his gaze to Felix’s body. Felix is small, several inches shorter than him, his body slender with few muscles. The thin pants he’s wearing beneath his clothes are completely wet, transparent, sticking to his body, outlining all the curves he has. His bare chest, wet and goosebumps on his skin, is one of the most beautiful sights. His pink, small nipples are hard, just like the rest of his skin. His blonde hair falls around his neck. He’s beautiful. Hyunjin almost chokes on his own saliva.

Without an answer to that question, Hyunjin shrugs as he usually does. He should’ve expected that Felix wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer, unlike Donghyun.

"Didn’t you want to get in with your brother?" Felix asks. Now, he’s playing with his fingers in front of his body. His lips are very red from the cold wind hitting his face.

"Why do you think that?" Hyunjin asks.

"Because it always seems like you're running away from him."

"Well, you never seem to be running away from Minho."

"Should I run away from my alpha?" Another shrug. Felix clicks his tongue, walking quickly up to Hyunjin. "Come."

"What?" Hyunjin exclaims as Felix, at the shore, grabs his arm, pulling him up, forcing him to stand face to face.

"Let’s go in the water."

"No!" Hyunjin pulls his wrist free from Felix’s gentle grip. "I mean… I can’t. I don’t want to take my clothes off."

"Why not?"

"Because… Because my fiancé can’t see me like this."

"Like this?"

"Like this," he points to Felix, who looks down at his own body.

When Felix looks back up at Hyunjin, there’s a faint smile on his trembling lips.

"You think Donghyun wouldn’t like to see you like this?"

Hyunjin takes a step back. Felix takes a step forward.

"Or that he would reprimand you?" His beautiful eyebrows raise, and the scent of peaches from him gets even stronger, sweeter. Seductive.

"It’s not right," Hyunjin says. "What you do with your alpha. You get almost naked for him, kiss him on the lips, and… do things with him. We’re supposed to do that with our husbands, not with…"

"Oh, so you’re going to tell my father?" Felix smiles, teasing him. "We’re young, Hyunjin. Do you think it’s so wrong, or are you just angry because you don’t have the courage to do the same?"

Hyunjin holds his breath. At that moment, he feels like he’s suffocating. His chest rises and falls harder than usual, and his eyes, which had been staring at the ground covered in wet stones, are now locked onto Felix’s.

"I’m not like you," he finally responds.

"I know," Felix nods, a spark in his eyes as if he enjoys this. "You’re scared."

"I’m not scared," Hyunjin retorts, his eyes wide. It’s like Felix has said a big secret out loud.

"I just… I just want to do everything right. I want to be responsible with my engagement, with my life, with…"

"Responsibility for being unhappy?" Felix tilts his head.

"I’m not unhappy," Hyunjin tries to sound firm, but his voice falters. "I’m not."

"Right," Felix nods, reaching for his hand.

Hyunjin can’t avoid the soft touch of Felix’s small hand in his. Even shaking, even with fear, even with a mess of thoughts and feelings inside him, he lets Felix interlace their fingers as he stares at him. Felix isn’t scolding him when he says all of this, he’s trying to make him understand something. Something Hyunjin still hasn’t figured out.

"It’s okay," Felix says.

The soft touch of his hand slides up Hyunjin’s wrist, under the thick sleeve of his coat, until it reaches his forearm. There, he caresses his delicate, goosebumps-covered skin. Hyunjin swallows a lump in his throat. He’s getting dizzy.

Felix then raises his other hand and breaks contact with Hyunjin’s skin for a brief moment. He brings both hands to Hyunjin’s coat and starts to gently remove it, sliding it slowly down Hyunjin’s shoulders and arms, inch by inch. There’s no rush in his movements, only a tenderness that burns deep in his eyes as he looks at Hyunjin.

"May I?" he asks softly.

Hyunjin just nods. He has no strength left to resist. He can barely move his head, but the gesture is enough for Felix to understand.

The cold wind hits his skin, covered only by a thin white shirt underneath. Felix takes off the coat and lets it fall onto the small wet stones, not caring if it gets wet.

Felix stares at him for several seconds in silence, without the contradiction of his kind sharpness. He leans in, bending his knees, and then crouches, staring up at Hyunjin. Hyunjin feels like he might faint when he sees Felix like that, especially when he kneels to better support his own body. His agile hands untie Hyunjin’s boots, taking one off at a time, gently caressing his pale ankles. Hyunjin feels a shiver run through his body, whether it’s from the soles of his feet touching the damp gravel or from Felix’s simple touch on his exposed skin.

Felix stands up, and Hyunjin thanks the heavens. Then, those same small fingers move to the waistband of his pants. He stops there, waiting a moment. His intense eyes search for Hyunjin’s, and when he doesn’t find resistance, Felix unbuttons his brown pants.

Hyunjin feels the whole world spin. Felix is taking off his clothes, and he can’t even say no. He doesn’t want to say no.

"You can feel free," Felix says, pulling the fabric down, revealing Hyunjin’s long legs, covered only by a very thin pair of pants, the same as the ones Felix wears.

Hyunjin doesn’t move. He wants Felix to free him from everything that’s been holding him back, and if his restraints, in that moment, are his clothes, Hyunjin would be naked for him.

When the pants fall completely, Felix gives a slight smile and takes Hyunjin’s hand again, this time more firmly.

"Come with me," he says, already pulling him toward the water.

"Felix…"

"Just a dive," he assures. "Just the two of us. I promise I won’t tell anyone."

Hyunjin, almost without realizing, takes a step. Then another. His bare feet touch the damp, warm shore. The water gradually licks his ankles, then his calves, until both of them are immersed up to their waists.

The warmth of the hot water radiates through Hyunjin’s body, soothing the cold that once made him shiver. Felix, right in front of him, holds his hands and takes a deep breath, making them both dive for a brief moment. Then they emerge, and Hyunjin feels the thermal shock between his briefly warm skin and the cold wind. He shudders and releases Felix’s hands.

"What will I say to Donghyun?" Hyunjin asks, hugging himself. His chin starts to tremble. "He asked if I wanted to get in, and I said no. When he comes back and sees me here…"

"Don’t worry about your fiancé now," Felix says. "I’m sure it’s easy to get him out of your mind."

Hyunjin nods slightly. Felix smiles, leaning his body back, enjoying the warm water against his back.

"Do you like being here?" he asks, looking at the cloudy sky. Hyunjin, still with his arms around himself, thinks about the answer for a few seconds.

"I like it," he answers. "But I prefer the farm."

"Your family’s coffee farm?" Felix stands up again in the water, staring at him. Hyunjin nods. "I’d like to live on a farm. Vineyards are boring. You know, who can stand so many grapes all the time? Unless, of course, it’s in wine."

"Do you drink wine?" Hyunjin asks.

“Of course I drink wine", Felix laughs, splashing some water onto the other omega’s face. “Don’t you?”

“My mother…”

“Don’t tell me.”

Hyunjin shrugs, unable to argue. It really is ridiculous.

“Why does your mother deny you everything?”

“She… wants what’s best for me, I guess.”

“What’s best for you is not drinking alcohol and not knowing your own body?”

“Know my own body?”

Hyunjin remembers the previous night. His lubrication dripping down his legs, his hard cock, his flushed face and burning skin, almost on fire. He thought he was sick, thought his heat was out of control. And if he really didn’t know his own body?

“How do you think alphas know their own bodies?” Felix asks.

The two are now only with their faces above the water, half-squatting to escape the cold.

“They… they see other omegas, I think", Hyunjin says.

“‘See omegas’", Felix rolls his eyes. “They fuck omegas. They all do this, Hyun. Alphas go through maturation and can go to brothels to fuck prostitutes while their fiancés are at home, doing crochet and taking suppressants during heat. And all this for what? To maintain a tradition that demands purity and virginity from omegas while allowing alpha libertinism.”

“All of them?”

“Yes, Hyun", Felix gets closer. “All of them.”

“But what about Minho?”

Felix chuckles, his beautiful row of teeth shining under the little sunlight.

“Minho likes me, but he’s an alpha. What can I say?”

“But… how… why do you accept it, then? If you think all of this is so wrong?”

“Because", Felix takes another step toward Hyunjin, “I don’t follow tradition.”

“I know", Hyunjin exhales, swallowing hard afterward.

“I could stay at home, crying while I know my fiancé is out there fucking other omegas, but I chose to be happy.”

“How?”

“By knowing myself. By touching myself. Discovering what I like, what I want.”

Hyunjin bites his lower lip. He tries to look away from Felix’s gaze but can’t. He’s trapped in that face, those lips, those piercing eyes. The freckles on his face blur with the proximity of his stare, and Hyunjin wonders if getting this close to him is the right thing.

“Is this allowed?” Hyunjin asks. He’s so curious about everything…

“No, but I didn’t lose permission.”

“I don’t understand how you can be like this", Hyunjin says. “I mean, you’re so…”

“Free?”

“Yeah", he sighs. “Free.”

“You can be too, Hyun.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“Why not?”

“I have…”

“Fear.”

“Doubt", he corrects over Felix’s voice. “I can’t rebel against everything they taught me was right.”

“You don’t need to rebel", Felix glides through the water again. Now, he starts circling Hyunjin. “My brother calls me a rebel, but I’m just being myself. What makes me free is what I do under their eyes, under my parents’ eyes… Under the eyes of everyone who doesn’t deserve to see an omega being happy. You don’t need to shout, break everything, or run away from your family. You just need to make choices that are yours", he continues, his voice softer, closer to Hyunjin’s skin, sending a shiver through him. “Choose what brings you pleasure.”

Hyunjin turns slowly, trying to follow Felix’s movements around him. With each inch Felix moves, the water shifts with him. Hyunjin’s heart beats loudly, as if each word from those full lips speaks directly to him.

“I don’t know what gives me pleasure", Hyunjin confesses in a burst.

“You can discover", Felix stops behind him, so close that Hyunjin feels the slight shift in the water around his chest.

“How?”

“By trying", says Felix.

“I can’t ask that of Donghyun", Hyunjin swallows. “I couldn’t do what you and Seungmin do with your alphas, I… I wouldn’t feel comfortable surrendering to him like that yet.”

Hyunjin closes his eyes for a second, as if admitting that was too heavy to sustain with his eyes open. His body feels light, but his head feels like it weighs a ton.

“I wish I could be like you", he finally says.

“Don’t want to be like me", Felix replies, his lips almost touching the curve of his ear, so close to his scent gland that Hyunjin almost faints. “Want to be like you, free from everything that holds you. That’s the hardest part, but the most delicious.”

Hyunjin slowly turns his head until he meets Felix’s gaze. He stands close behind him, his chest nearly touching Hyunjin’s back. Hyunjin turns away again and squeezes his eyes shut when he feels Felix gently brushing his hair aside to expose the back of his neck. He feels the warmth of Felix’s body against his own, the tips of his fingers grazing the skin of his neck and, God, tracing right around his gland.

The scent of honey becomes so strong it could flood the entire forest. He’s certain Felix smells it too, just as he drowns in the sweet perfume of peach wafting from the other omega.

Normally, another omega’s scent should be unpleasant, even nauseating, and an alpha’s should be comforting, enticing. But with Felix, nothing feels normal. Everything about this omega screams danger, and still, Hyunjin wants to dive into every inch of Lee Felix’s body.

“Can I show you something?” Felix’s deep voice brushes Hyunjin’s ear. He nods almost desperately.

At his confirmation, Felix moves even closer, if that’s even possible, keeping Hyunjin’s hair out of the way as goosebumps rise across his neck.

The day darkens, the air turns toxic, the water boils like lava, and the pebbles beneath their feet become sharp nails piercing into their skin until everything turns into a blood-stained river, wrapping them in sin.

Felix kisses his neck, leaving a wet trail of saliva to mix with the water droplets. Hyunjin lets a muffled moan slip from his lips, his trembling hands clutching at his chest as he slowly begins to fall apart. Felix kisses him again, longer this time, letting his mouth trace the elegant line of Hyunjin’s neck, gliding along the base and ending just behind his ear, where his sensitive gland tingles. Felix licks that spot, and Hyunjin moans, tilting his head back, so lost in the sensation that he can’t even think.

His own scent now overpowers Felix’s. He feels the hard press of his cock beneath his pants, and even with the heat of the water, he knows his slick is leaking between his legs.

“Does it feel good?” Felix murmurs into his ear.

“Mhm", Hyunjin nods twice, biting his lips, craving more.

Felix leans in again, this time licking the lobe of Hyunjin’s ear. He feels Felix’s hands gently take hold of his wrists, undoing the way Hyunjin holds himself. He swallows hard when Felix’s fingers circle his nipples, firm beneath his shirt, just twice, then they retreat.

Calmly, Felix moves to stand in front of Hyunjin. They lock eyes for a few seconds, Hyunjin’s breathing uneven, his chest rising and falling, his mouth parting like he wants to say something, but doesn’t know what.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Felix asks.

Hyunjin shakes his head.

He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He doesn’t know if he should speak, if he should run, if he should push Felix away while he still can. But he can’t. He can’t fight the...

(desire)

...that pours from every pore in his body, consuming him, killing him little by little, and somehow breathing life into him too. A life he’s never lived, never even dreamed of living.

And it’s with Felix that he’s about to be born again.

“It feels good", Felix says, his face now almost touching Hyunjin’s.

Hyunjin can almost taste the peach on his tongue. He’s hypnotized.

Nearby, just a few steps behind, lies the edge of the lake, where warm stones cluster together. Felix steps toward Hyunjin, motioning for him to walk backward. So he does, until his back meets one of the stones and he gasps at the contrast in temperature.

Felix stands in front of him, cornering him there. Now, even if Hyunjin wanted to, he couldn’t run.

Without another word, none is needed, his consent already given, Felix takes hold of Hyunjin’s nape and kisses him.

On the mouth.

Felix kisses him on the mouth.

Hyunjin’s eyes flutter, rolling beneath his lids. His whole body goes taut, the warm stone at his back, the taste of peach flooding his mouth.

Felix moves his slippery, wet lips against Hyunjin’s. Hyunjin doesn’t know how to move his own, doesn’t know if he should use his hands, his tongue… All he does is let Felix explore him in a lazy, sweet kiss that makes him want to curl up and fit inside his arms.

Felix’s tongue enters his mouth like a long-expected guest, searching for his own. Hyunjin offers his tongue, and Felix draws it out between their lips, caressing the back of his neck, sometimes grazing his scent gland. Hyunjin is coming undone.

There’s no urgency. Everything is slow, calm, restrained. Felix seems intent on making sure Hyunjin feels every second of it.

And he does.

It’s new.

It’s desire.

It’s delicious.

He wants more
( and he wants it so, so, so, so much )

Until there’s nothing left in him that doesn’t carry a piece of Felix.

Felix breaks the kiss, and Hyunjin stays still, staring at him with swollen lips. Felix lifts his right hand, traces the outline of Hyunjin’s mouth, then pushes his thumb inside. On impulse, Hyunjin wraps his lips around it, feeling the texture of his skin on his tongue. Then Felix presses their bodies together just enough for Hyunjin’s erection to push up against him. Hyunjin holds his breath for as long as he can, but it’s too tempting not to inhale the sweet scent coming off the other omega.

Omega.

Another omega.

He’s being touched and kissed by another omega.
( no, by Felix! )

“Do you like it?” Felix asks again.

Hyunjin nods. He can’t bring himself to speak.

“Do you want to kiss me more?”

Again, all he can do is nod. Felix smiles and leans in to kiss him again.

It’s such a good kiss, so wet... Hyunjin never imagined kissing could be like this. He always thought kissing an alpha would be rough, bitter, or citrusy, like the way they smell, that their coarse hands would hurt his skin, or their unshaven faces would scratch his cheeks.

But everything about Felix is soft, so pure, so gentle… His kiss feels like eating dessert, biting into ripe fruit ( a peach ), then lying in the sun on a spring afternoon.

And at the same time, it feels like plunging into pure fire and running straight into the devil’s arms.

“Ahn", Hyunjin moans between kisses as Felix nips at his lower lip. “Stop…”

“Should I stop?” Felix asks, leaving kisses along Hyunjin’s cheek and jaw. “Hm, Hyun? Doesn’t it feel good?”

“No…”

“No?”

“Don’t stop…”

( never )

Felix kisses him again, and time stops for them. The mist around them grows so thick it nearly swallows them. The water no longer feels hot, and the icy breeze has nothing to do with the goosebumps rising on their skin.

But the sharp whinny of a horse pulls them out of that dream. Carefully, Felix releases Hyunjin’s tongue and draws just slightly away from him.

“I’ll show you something else later", he says, biting his own lip.

Hyunjin swallows hard, his back pressed against the hot stone. He looks up at the sky, the sun’s glare almost burning his skin, his eyes.

He wants to die. He wants to close his eyes and never wake up.

Ironically, he’s just discovered the world in those waters.

☾𖤓

Hyunjin’s mind is far away.
In truth, it keeps drifting back to that morning, when he dove into the warm lake and let Felix kiss him.

He sits on a chair by the vanity, pages scattered across the surface between glass bottles of oils and perfumes. The mirror in front of him reflects his loose, silky hair falling down the nape of his neck. In one hand, he holds a small graphite stick, darkening his fingertips, dragging it across a yellowed sheet of paper. At his feet, at least a dozen crumpled sketches lie in a careless pile.

Hyunjin has stayed in his room all day after enduring nearly an hour of his mother’s complaints when he returned from the lake. Everything about that plunge seems wrong to Hwang Haesoo, from his soaked coat to the way he arrived wrapped in his fiancé’s arms, shivering from the cold.
“Decency, Hyunjin", she says. “Decency is all I ask for.”

And Hyunjin has had no decency that morning.

He lets another omega undress him, lead him into a lake filled with sin. He lets him touch his body with profane hands, kiss his lips with a soft and impure mouth, stained with desires Hyunjin has never dared to name.

Hyunjin is indecent. He goes against everything he believes in. He can’t believe he’s given his first kiss to someone who isn’t his husband, worse, someone who isn’t even an alpha.

He has asked himself over and over if this will damn him, if he’s condemned, if redemption is still possible. But Hyunjin knows forgiveness only comes when there’s regret.

And with all the guilt, with all the self-repression, still, Hyunjin cannot regret it.

Worse than that: with each passing second, he wants to go back, if only to live it all again. That’s why he spends the entire day in his room, scribbling over sheet after sheet of paper, trying to draw anything that isn’t Lee Felix’s face.

Three knocks at the door startle him. He takes a deep breath and sets the graphite stick down over the unfinished drawing. Then he stands and walks to the door, opening it. In a sharp impulse, he tries to close it again, eyes wide when he sees Felix standing there, holding a candle.

“Go away!” Hyunjin says, still trying to shut the door, but Felix has his foot wedged in the frame, stopping him.

“Wait", Felix insists. “I just want to talk to you.”

“No", Hyunjin’s eyelids flutter nervously. “I don’t want to talk.”

“Hyun…”

“I’ll call my fiancé. I… I…”

With a brief moment of distraction from Hyunjin, Felix slips into the room, closing the door behind him.

“And what are you going to tell him?” he asks, still holding the candle. “That I’m attacking you?”

“N-No, I… I’ll say I’m unwell and you’re bothering me.”

“Oh, please, don’t be so dramatic", Felix laughs, setting the candle down on the nightstand.

“I’m not being dramatic.”

Hyunjin takes a few steps back, feeling the folds of his thin sleep trousers brush against the edge of the bed. Felix doesn’t move closer, just stands near enough that the flame of the candle lights up his face, but far enough that Hyunjin could run, if he wanted to.

“So?” Felix asks, voice softer now.

“I…” Hyunjin feels his throat dry. He clenches his hands at his sides, as if that might hide how badly they’re trembling. “I just want to forget what happened. I won’t be able to if you keep staying near me.”

Felix lowers his gaze for a moment. When he looks back up, there’s a melancholy smile on his pink lips.

“Do you really want to forget?”

Hyunjin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. His chest rises and falls in an uneven rhythm, the memory of Felix’s touch pulsing in his mind like a fresh wound, bloody, painful.
(delicious.)

“I liked what we did", Felix says, his honesty slicing straight through Hyunjin’s chest. “I came to see you because... because I know you’re scared. Scared of everything, especially of what happened. But I wanted you to know that you don’t have to be afraid of me. I don’t want to hurt you. Quite the opposite.”

Silence hangs thick between them. Outside, the wind rustles the sheer curtains, and the candlelight flickers, casting shadows across the walls, mingling with the chandelier’s arms.

“You kissed me", Hyunjin whispers, barely audible.

“You let me kiss you.”

Hyunjin clenches his fists, shame and longing battling in his chest. He wants to scream. He wants to crawl under the blankets like he did as a child.

“What do you want from me?” Hyunjin asks, his voice raw with vulnerability.

Felix smiles faintly, walks over to the chair in front of the vanity, and sits down with ease. Hyunjin holds his breath seeing him so close to the drawings. Luckily, those sharp eyes haven’t noticed the mess of papers and charcoal just yet.

“I could say I want to be your friend", Felix says.

Hyunjin blinks, confused.

“You can’t be my friend", he murmurs.

“Why not?”

“Because friends… don’t do what we did. Omegas don’t do that.”

“You mean the kissing?”

Hyunjin nods and swallows hard.

“Why can’t omegas do that?”

He seems to ignore the second half.

“Because…” Hyunjin tries to find an answer that sounds right, but everything he’s ever learned feels small under Felix’s gaze. “Because it’s not right.”

“Says who?” Felix lifts an eyebrow, tilting his head. “Your mother? Your fiancé?”

Hyunjin presses his fingers into the hem of his shirt, heart stumbling in his chest. He wants to say yes. He wants to hold onto the certainties that have always kept him safe, but the words stick in his throat like thorns.

“I don’t know", he whispers, finally. “Felix, I don’t know, okay? Please stop asking me so many things. I… I can’t think.”

Felix exhales deeply and nods. He turns toward the vanity mirror, staring at his own reflection. Blonde, shoulder-length hair loose like Hyunjin’s. On his body, clothes similar to what Hyunjin wears: white pants, a long-sleeved shirt. The house is warm, especially the polished wood beneath their bare feet. In the candlelight, the freckles on Felix’s face grow sharper, his lips redder, his eyes more dangerous. A strip of pale skin shows along his collarbone, and just the sight of that peach-scented skin from a distance is enough to spark the first signs of Hyunjin’s arousal.

“You draw?” Felix finally notices the crumpled pages on the floor and the mess of charcoal and paper on the vanity. “This is me…”

“No", Hyunjin rushes toward him, snatching the paper from Felix’s fingers and crumpling it so he can toss it to the floor with the others. “It’s not you", he says again, more to himself than to Felix.

“Then who is it?” Felix asks, his voice gliding between them.

Hyunjin feels his stomach twist. He clenches the paper tighter until it cracks under his fingers.

“It’s just a drawing", he mutters, too softly, but enough for Felix to raise his brows. “It’s no one.”

Felix leans in slightly, golden hair falling forward, and Hyunjin knows, before hearing his voice, that he’s smiling, amused.

“A drawing of no one, Hyun?” he whispers, and that damn nickname dances on his tongue.
(peach
peach taste
on his tongue)

Hyunjin looks away, fixing his eyes on some random point in the wooden floor. Anything but that dangerous smile.

“I don’t know what you want to hear", he says, gripping the paper harder, fingers stained with charcoal.

“I don’t want to hear anything", Felix says, standing now, so close Hyunjin can feel his breath against his cheek. “I’m just looking.”

Hyunjin closes his eyes for a second, as if that might protect him. It doesn’t.

“Stop looking at me like that", he pleads, hoarse, desperate. “Please…”

“Like what?” Felix’s gaze roams over him, slowly, purposefully. “You’re beautiful. You should get used to people looking at you.”

Hyunjin opens his eyes slowly, meeting Felix’s gaze.

“It’s not right", he tries again, but his voice already betrays him, too soft.

“Right, wrong…” Felix shrugs with a faint smile. “It doesn’t matter, Hyun.”

“Felix…” Hyunjin begins, not knowing exactly what he wants to say.

“Listen", Felix whispers, fingers trailing along Hyunjin’s flushed cheek. “Let’s talk, okay? Just talk. And while we do, you draw me.”

“What?” Hyunjin raises his brows. “I already told you it wasn’t…”

“Shhh.” He places his index finger over Hyunjin’s lips, smiling slightly.

Felix turns his back and walks toward the bed. He places one knee on the mattress, then the other, and leans down on his palms, crawling to the center. From where Hyunjin stands, he’s mesmerized by the soft sway of Felix’s hips as he moves across the bed.

He lies on his back, legs half-bent, parted slightly, and his face, now serious, is bathed in candlelight.

Hyunjin knows his bed will be soaked in the smell of peaches. He wants to ask him to leave, to avoid contaminating the only place where he can still escape the fire consuming him, but all he manages to do is grab the pad of blank pages and the charcoal from the vanity and walk over.

The space between them begins to shrink as Hyunjin approaches the bed. He sits on the mattress, facing Felix, legs crossed one over the other. He places the pad on his thighs and bites his lips while staring at the angelic figure lying in his bed.

Freckles scattered across Felix's face, the sharp line of his jaw, golden strands of hair falling over his forehead, his body so exposed, a palpable temptation. He's a complete blend of strength and fragility, and it makes Hyunjin dizzy.

Felix smiles, meeting his gaze.

"Then draw me," he says softly, almost like a challenge.

Hyunjin grips the charcoal tightly, but his hand trembles. He looks down at the blank paper, trying to focus, but his eyes keep returning to Felix. He doesn't know how long he’ll stay there. He doesn’t even know why he agreed to this.

"Aren’t you going to say anything?" Felix asks, a slight curve to his lips.

Hyunjin looks at him, blinking rapidly before lowering his head, the charcoal now gently touching the paper.

Felix shifts slightly, raising both arms to rest them on the pillow beneath his head.

The charcoal scratches timidly across the page. Hyunjin forces himself to keep his eyes on the line, but it’s impossible not to feel the weight of Felix’s gaze, even when the other omega seems distracted, glancing up at the chandelier from time to time.

The silence stretches long enough to become unbearable.

"Have you always drawn?" Felix asks, eager for some kind of response.

Hyunjin adjusts his posture, pretending to concentrate. Inside, he’s screaming.

"Since I was a kid," he replies. "My mother thought it was a waste of time. Said omegas should focus on other activities."

Felix laughs, a short, half-incredulous sound.

"Of course. Like embroidery and harp playing."

Hyunjin can’t help the brief smile that escapes his lips. Still, he doesn’t take his eyes off the paper.

"And you?" Hyunjin asks, trying to dispel the growing discomfort. "What do you like to do?"

Felix moves his legs slowly, the fabric of his trousers sliding smoothly over his pale skin.

"I like walking in the woods, reading, and swimming. I also dance when no one’s watching."

"Why only when no one’s watching? You don’t seem like the shy type."

"It’s something intimate," Felix says with a sigh. "There’s always something we do just for ourselves, isn’t there?"

Hyunjin shrugs.

"Where did you pick up that annoying habit?" Felix huffs, staring at the ceiling. Hyunjin glances up from his paper for just a second. "Instead of speaking, you just..." He imitates Hyunjin’s shoulder shrug, emphasizing the terrible habit of replacing words with a gesture that says nothing at all.

"I’d rather say nothing than say the wrong thing."

"I don’t think you say the wrong things to me. I’m very understanding."

Hyunjin hides a flicker of satisfaction beneath a flat expression of indifference.

His skin no longer tingles the way it did before. Still, there’s that thick tension that makes his heart beat steadily, just from the awareness that Felix is there, right in front of him, lying in his sheets, which aren’t really his, letting the scent of peach seep into every inch of fabric, intoxicating even the dust mites in the mattress.

"Flowers," Hyunjin blurts out.

"What?"

"I take care of flowers too. Roses, sunflowers, and pink lilies. They’re my favorite."

Felix smiles discreetly, but it seems genuine.

"So those are the two things you love most? Drawing and taking care of flowers?"

"Plants in general," Hyunjin nods, focused. "My plants are sensitive. They might die if I don’t care for them enough."

"Really?" Felix laughs. "So they have feelings?"

"Everything in nature has feelings."

"Even rocks?"

Hyunjin shrugs, then adds:

"I don’t know. I think anything green or colorful."

"That’s kind of exclusive. What about insects?"

"I’m talking about plants," Hyunjin holds back a laugh. "Not... insects."

Felix settles more comfortably on the bed, watching Hyunjin with a look that says he’s absorbing every word but also enjoying the lightness of the conversation. Hyunjin keeps sketching, occasionally glancing at him to capture the shadows on his face, or the angle of his nose and the curve of his lips.

"Who takes care of your plants when you're away?" Felix asks.

"The groundskeeper," Hyunjin replies. "But I don’t trust him. They miss me."

"You really talk about them like they can understand what’s going on."

"They can," Hyunjin says without hesitation. "They respond to me. Sometimes, when I talk to them, they grow faster. I can’t explain it, but I feel like they listen."

Felix smiles, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"So you can tell your secret to your flowers. Tell them how you feel."

"I don’t think that’s a good idea," he says. "If I want to forget what I feel, I can’t say it out loud." He lets out a sigh that nearly drowns him in oxygen. "Not even to plants."

Felix says nothing for the next few minutes. Hyunjin, for his part, is glad. He keeps drawing, fingers stained with charcoal, especially when he blends the details with his pinky. Felix watches him from the same position, analyzing Hyunjin like he could read him.

"I think I’m done," Hyunjin says, tearing the page from the notepad and leaving the rest forgotten on the mattress. Then, he lifts the paper in front of his face, looking at the drawing he made of Felix.

The other omega suddenly sits up, placing his hands on the mattress and trying to see the page. Hyunjin swallows hard before turning the drawing toward him.

Felix is rendered in that sketch with an almost immortal serenity. His body, lying on the bed, is shirtless, depicted as Hyunjin remembers seeing him by the lake: a slender chest, flat stomach, small rosy nipples. Legs slightly parted, arms resting near his head, the gentle curve of his torso highlighted by the soft candlelight around him, shown through the shadows of the drawing.

Hyunjin no longer looks at him directly, only through the yellowed sheet. Felix’s mouth is parted, about to speak, but also frozen in shock. His gaze, which had locked onto Hyunjin moments before, now wavers.

"I don’t think it’s very good..."

Hyunjin’s voice cuts off when Felix rips the paper from his hands, tossing it carelessly off the bed. In a sudden motion, Felix swings one leg over each side of Hyunjin’s body, settling into his lap. Hyunjin holds his breath, his charcoal-stained fingers clutching at the white shirt of the other omega.

"You have no idea who you are," Felix says, grabbing Hyunjin by the neck, his fingers sliding across sensitive skin until they tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling gently.

"Who I am?" Hyunjin echoes the words as much as he questions them.

"I don’t know either," he replies. "But I know I want you."

"Felix…"

"You want me too," he whispers, shifting slightly on Hyunjin’s lap. "If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have drawn me like that."

"I’m sorry," Hyunjin breathes, his voice nearly inaudible even to himself. "I didn’t mean to be inappropriate."

"Inappropriate?" Felix tugs his hair a bit harder. "It wasn’t inappropriate, it was delicious. Is that how you see me? Is that how you imagine me? Lying down for you, legs spread, no clothes..."

"No," Hyunjin holds his breath, the scent of honey radiating through the room each time Felix leans in closer, and now, he’s too close.

"Don’t lie to me."

"I’m not lyin… Felix..." Hyunjin moans, voice breaking with the pleasure coursing through him as Felix rolls his hips in his lap.

The fabric of their trousers is thin, nothing underneath, just two layers of cloth separating burning skin. Hyunjin feels the press of Felix’s ass right against his cock, hard, hot, probably already wet. He doesn’t understand the heat rising in his stomach, that aching need for contact that makes his toes tingle. God, he doesn’t even understand what’s happening to his body.

"Yes," he admits, nodding as Felix keeps up the slow grind. "I’ve been thinking about it all day."

"About this?"

"About you," he says. "About the kisses you gave me."

"You got wet thinking about me?" Felix whispers, pressing down harder against Hyunjin’s cock. "Got hard?"

"Please…"

"You did, didn’t you, Hyun?"

"Hm-hm," he nods, eyes shut, lower lip caught between his teeth, fingers clutching the fabric of Felix’s shirt.

"And why didn’t you touch yourself?"

"T-Touch myself?"

"Why didn’t you touch yourself while thinking about the kisses we shared? Why didn’t you do it here, in this bed, while everyone else was at dinner?"

"I don’t know," he shakes his head slowly.

"Why did you ask me to leave if you thought about me so much?"

"I... don’t know."

"Do you want to kiss me?" Felix suddenly asks.

Hyunjin opens his eyes, his breathing shallow. He nods. Felix smirks.

He’s no longer an angel. Now, he’s a devil, waiting to receive him in his arms.

"That, you know."

Then Felix kisses him.

Just like the first time, the taste of peaches floods Hyunjin’s mouth. He’s already trembling, air thinning, and when Felix slips his clever tongue inside, seeking his relentlessly, he feels like his life is about to end.

(it’s just beginning)

Hyunjin whimpers into the kiss, clutching Felix’s shirt tighter, while the omega’s hands roam his neck, glide down his back, brushing his scent gland. All the while, he kisses him slowly, deeply, letting sweet saliva drip from the corner of his lips.

Felix stops on Hyunjin’s lap and pulls his mouth away. He moves down, hovering on his knees over the mattress. Grabbing one of Hyunjin’s hands, he pulls him along to lie down, the drawing lost among the crumpled papers on the floor.

They lie side by side on the pillows. Felix kisses him again, gently, pressing their bodies together. The candlelight casts flickering shadows on the walls and lights up their heated bodies, which tremble just like the flames. Hyunjin moans into the kiss, pulling Felix closer, needing him almost like he's been deprived of air and Felix is the only thing fluid enough to slip through his nostrils into his lungs.

"What is this I'm feeling?" Hyunjin asks. "It burns across my whole skin."

"It’s desire," Felix whispers against his lips.

"Why do I feel this with you and not when I’m with my fiancé?" His voice is barely a thread. While he questions it, Felix kisses his neck, squeezing his waist against his body. "Why do I have to feel this with an omega?"

"Why so many questions?" Felix looks at him briefly, then goes back to tracing his lips along Hyunjin’s jaw, rising up to his ear, where he leaves a soft bite on the sensitive lobe.

"Because…"

"You smell so good," Felix says, ignoring Hyunjin’s insecurity and burying his nose in his scent gland. "You smell like heaven."

"Your scent is nice, Hyunjin."
"It’s a nice scent for an omega."
"Your scent is attractive to any alpha who comes near you."
"With a scent like that, you’ll be able to win your fiancé over for good."

So many compliments about his scent, but never one like that.
You smell like heaven.
Felix says he smells like heaven.
(and he should smell like hell
but he’s sweet and soft like clouds in paradise)

Hyunjin is so hard, so wet inside his pants, he feels the inside of his thighs slick. A pulsing ache spreads low in his stomach, down his cock, and tugs at the very center of his ass, where slick is leaking out uncontrollably. He’s never felt anything like this before, never experienced these sensations that almost take over his actions entirely.

Felix presses their bodies even closer. Their legs tangle, their sensitive pelvises rub against each other, and the other omega’s deep voice reaches Hyunjin’s ears like a beautiful melody. He’s moaning.

Suddenly, it’s not just Hyunjin murmuring pleasure into the kisses and contact. Now, Felix is doing the same, just as sensitive, just as hard, just as wet and slippery between his legs.

Hyunjin feels a bite on his lower lip, followed by a firmer thrust of Felix’s hips against his. Their erections would be touching if it weren’t for the pants, and Hyunjin wants to get them off, but he doesn’t have the courage.

"Come here," Felix says, pulling Hyunjin so he hooks one leg over his waist.

In that position, his ass is outlined against the fabric of his pants, and it’s the perfect cue for Felix to grab it, kneading the firm flesh.

"So soft," Felix says, licking Hyunjin’s lips mid-kiss. "No alpha is this soft."

Felix’s right hand slides between them, grazing Hyunjin’s erection just once before moving to where he really wants to go, much lower. He runs his fingers over the dampness that’s soaked into the thin fabric of the white pants, now likely transparent from all the slick. Hyunjin whimpers when Felix’s fingers find, even through the cloth, his sensitive hole. It’s a near-death sensation. His whole body trembles when Felix presses there, rubbing in slow, circular motions. He keeps grinding his pelvis against Hyunjin’s, their erections meeting in a sensual, dangerous rhythm.

Both of them moan into each other’s mouths. Hyunjin’s touches are still timid, limited to Felix’s waist and chest, fear clinging to him, afraid of what he’s feeling, of what he’s doing.

A heat rises in Hyunjin’s stomach. His moans stretch out, almost like stifled sobs, and Felix presses harder against him, rolling his hips while massaging right in the center.

Hyunjin trembles in Felix’s arms, and Felix trembles in his.

Peach and honey blend into a sweetness too heavy to endure without falling apart in those sheets.

Hyunjin feels his spine ache, his neck shiver, his toes curling in a way they never have before. Then, he and Felix moan together, each swallowing the other’s sounds, as their bodies rub against each other in those white sheets under the candlelight.

Felix lifts his hand from Hyunjin’s ass and pushes him flat on the bed. He pins his chest down and climbs back onto his lap, both hands trapping him to the mattress. With force, Felix arches over Hyunjin, throwing his head back.

Hyunjin looks at him, charcoal-stained hands smudging the tangled sheets, just like his hair. From that angle, Felix becomes an angel again. White wings, soft with feathers, rip through his back and spread open with a loud rustle like the wind, enveloping him as Felix comes on top of Hyunjin. At the same time, pouring his sacred grace over him, he makes Hyunjin clutch the sheets tighter, coming too, lips split open, sweat dripping down his forehead.

Slowly, Felix stops, still pressing on his chest. He’s breathing heavily, eyes closed, mouth ajar. When they look at each other, it’s as if the whole world around them freezes.

"Did you like it?" Felix falls on top of him, their faces just millimeters apart. "Did you like coming with me?"

With me.
Not for me. With me .

 Hyunjin nods, still breathless, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

"Our fiancés…" Hyunjin says, shifting uncomfortably, sensitive all over.

"Shhh." Again, Felix puts a finger to his lips. "Would you give me my drawing as a gift?"

Hyunjin nods.

"Thank you," he says. "Thank you, Hyun."

Hyunjin keeps looking at him, enchanted, his heart pounding in his chest. For all the time Felix stays beside him afterward, lying there, drawing abstract shapes on his skin while they talk about the world, Hyunjin forgets that the next day, he’ll board a train back to the coffee farm.

Back to his plants.

Back to his life.
Far from the grapes, the wine, from Donghyun

(and from Felix).

☾𖤓

All my pink lilies have died.
When I return to the farm, they're dry, wilted, and ugly.
I ask the groundskeeper if he’s been watering them and he says yes. I know I can’t trust him, but part of me understands, they must’ve missed the sound of my voice. It’s hard to be apart from someone who’s with you every single day.
Even so, the roses and sunflowers survive. A bit dry, but I managed to fix everything.

The first days back on the farm are quiet. I miss home.
It feels good to sleep in my own sheets again and smell the fresh coffee.

The days, weeks, and months that follow, however, are torture.
I can’t recall a single night when I haven’t dreamed of Felix. Of his blond hair, of the freckles scattered across his face like stars, of his hands on my body, touching me like I belong to him.
One sleepless night, I become certain that I do.
Even so, I keep waking up early to tend to my garden. I paint (and I must admit I’ve painted a shameful number of portraits of him, which always end up hidden at the very bottom of my chest), and I spend the rest of the day simply existing, while I ache to live.

A year passes. A long, lonely year, except for the times Donghyun visits the farm and I get to feel his rough company and that unpleasant scent of ginger for a few days, still with the taste of peach in my mouth, which by then is nothing but a fading memory.

I find out Felix got married a few months ago, through a letter from Donghyun. He and Minho have a small ceremony in the city where the alpha’s family lives. It isn’t anything grand, which brings me a flicker of relief, my family wasn’t even invited.

As for my own wedding, well…
Tomorrow, in the Lee family’s vineyard.
I feel like I might melt into a mass of hot blood the moment I step out of this carriage and face the mansion that, from now on, will be my home.
Dozens of suitcases are being brought here, because I won’t smell the coconut perfume of my bed anymore, nor will I be able to talk to my plants, which will be dead within days.
Now, all I’ll have is the scent of ginger day and night, and the lingering warmth of a moment spent tangled in the sheets with my alpha’s omega brother, who I’m not even sure will be at the ceremony.

I hope he won’t be.
But I hope he will.
I want more than anything to see him again, even if it’s only to remember the feeling of his body against mine, making me feel like I could do anything.
But I couldn’t.
I’m an omega who is going to marry an alpha in less than a day.
There’s no way to live the life Felix lit up for me a year ago.
Only the void awaits me outside this carriage, inside those doors and those luxurious rooms.
Only the resignation of a life that has been written for me long ago.
Only Donghyun.

When all I want is Felix.

Still, I hope that from now o, 

Hyunjin closes the small notebook with a long sigh when he hears the horses pulling the carriage whinny and the wheels come to a sudden stop. He looks forward and sees his father knitting while his mother reads a heavy book. He straightens his posture when he notices Haesoo close the book and look at him, sharp, yet maternal.

"You’ve arrived at your new home," she says.

Hyunjin swallows hard and stares at the house’s entrance, gripping the notebook tightly. It’ll end up at the bottom of his chest, along with all the drawings of Felix.

A year has passed and everything still feels like it happened mere seconds ago. Hyunjin tastes peaches on his tongue, and his hands start tingling.

"What is it?" Haesoo frowns.

Hyunjin looks at her with knitted brows.

"Your scent," she mutters, shaking her head and waving a hand in front of her nose. "It’s making me nauseous, it’s so sweet."

"Sorry," Hyunjin lowers his gaze. "I think it’s nerves."

"Then control yourself," Haesoo warns. "I don’t want everyone in the house to smell that. Compose yourself before you step out."

That said, she and Kyungmin step down from the carriage. Hyunjin stays inside, clutching his notebook, eyes closed, trying to control the scent leaking through his pores, but more than anything, from the gland behind his ear, which pulses at just the thought of seeing Felix again.

But he won’t be there.

If Hyunjin didn’t attend Felix’s wedding, then Felix won’t attend his, right?

He hopes so. Or maybe not.

When he enters the mansion, Hyunjin sees everyone seated on the sofas and armchairs in the grand sitting room. He stops at the entrance, hands free, the notebook hidden in his trunk, and every pair of eyes turns to him. The first gaze he meets is Donghyun’s, who beams upon seeing him and gets up to approach.

"It’s good to see you, dear," Donghyun says, pressing a delicate kiss to his cheek.

"It’s good to see you too," Hyunjin replies.

Donghyun smiles, offering his arm so they can walk toward the others.

Seated on one of the sofas are his in-laws and his own parents. On the other, just beside them, sit Seungmin and his husband, Changbin. One person in particular catches his eye, seated beside the couple, Lee Minho.

If Minho is here, it means that...

"Here’s the tea," says a deep voice, capable of shattering every wall Hyunjin has tried to build over the past year.

Hyunjin tightens his grip on Donghyun’s shirt and holds his breath, the scent of peach drifting into his nose. He feels dizzy, Felix, right in front of him, serving a teacup to his alpha.

He looks just as Hyunjin remembers: long blond hair, slender body, flushed cheeks, and that perfect smile. And yet, he somehow looks even more beautiful. There’s a special glow in his eyes, an added color to his lips, a new softness in the way he carries himself.

Hyunjin wonders if Felix remembers everything that happened a year ago. Wonders if flashes of those moments visit him in his sleep, if, when he closes his eyes, he hears the languid moans, or even tastes honey on his tongue the way Hyunjin tastes the peach.

He firmly believes he doesn’t. Perhaps Hyunjin is the only one who got so deeply involved.

Felix is married, after all, and in just one day, Hyunjin will be too.

Everyone greets him, including Lee Minho, who kisses his hand respectfully. The last to approach is Felix. He stops right in front of him, a restrained smile on his lips. Hyunjin swallows hard, palms sweating.

"I’m glad you’re here, Hyun."

Then he wraps his arms around Hyunjin’s shoulders. It takes Hyunjin a few seconds to return the embrace, his arms sliding around the slim waist. He can’t help but breathe against Felix’s neck, and smelling him this close again feels like coming back to life.

Just like his lilies, Hyunjin dies when he returns to that farm. One year later, he's watered for the first time in a long time.

"Would you like some tea?" Felix asks once they pull apart. "I just made some for Minho."

"No, thank you," Hyunjin says, rubbing his hands against his trousers.

"Really? After such a long trip, a bit of tea would do you good, don’t you think?" Felix turns to the others in the room. Most of them nod gently in agreement. "Come on, let’s go to the kitchen."

"I don’t think that..."

"Oh, darling, go with your brother-in-law," says Mina, mother of Felix and Donghyun. "This is your home now, and Felix can show you a bit of the kitchen."

Hyunjin’s eyes shift to his mother, who nods for him to follow Felix to the kitchen.

"Tea sounds good," Hyunjin says at last. "I’ll be right back."

Felix seems pleased when Hyunjin accepts the invitation. Leaving the room, they walk just a few steps into the mansion’s large kitchen.

The kitchen is as spacious and beautiful as the rest of the house. High ceilings with dark wooden beams, walls with elegant, aged textures. The golden light of dusk filters through large arched windows, illuminating the noble wood island and the cabinets filled with delicate china. A long oak table, a wrought iron chandelier, and copper pots are scattered across a space infused with the gentle aroma of dried herbs.

When the door closes behind them, Hyunjin finds himself alone with Felix.

"I have lavender, rosemary, mint..." Felix lists, rummaging through several jars of herbs. "Which do you prefer?"

(Peach.)

"Rosemary," Hyunjin says, leaning against the table.

Felix sets the water to boil and turns back to him, arms crossed.

"How was the trip?" he asks. Hyunjin shrugs. "Still doing that?"

"Sorry," he mutters, biting back the smile that instinctively tugs at his lips. "It was tiring."

"I can imagine," Felix continues. "That’s why I thought you might want some tea."

"I think a good night’s sleep would help more than a cup of tea."

"Certainly, but it’s still early," Felix nods, standing just a few steps from Hyunjin’s body. "I hope you get some proper rest tonight. Tomorrow’s going to be a big day."

"I know," Hyunjin lowers his gaze, staring at his own feet. "When I remember this is my last day as an unmarked omega..."

"Not much changes," Felix shrugs carelessly. "The only difference is that you’ll have a mark like this on your neck."

With the tips of his fingers, Felix tugs at his shirt collar, revealing the pink bite mark at the base of his neck. Hyunjin clenches his fists, strangely unsettled by the sight of that alpha’s mark on skin he remembers as untouched.

Felix is married now. Marked. By an alpha.

And Hyunjin will be too.

Felix adjusts his collar again and, for a brief moment, seems just as uncomfortable as Hyunjin. He doesn’t know if the wrinkle in Felix’s nose is a projection of his own mind, like the white wings tearing from Felix’s back the night everything happened, but he hopes, even unconsciously, that this gesture means exactly what he thinks it means.

Felix moves to the kettle, turns off the flame, and pours the hot water over the rosemary leaves in a strainer. The fresh scent spreads through the kitchen, mingling with the thick tension hanging between them.

"Are you happy?" Felix asks suddenly, his voice soft but sharp like a sheathed blade. "I mean... with all of this?"

Hyunjin takes a moment to answer. He watches the steam rise from the cup, lost in the scent of peach that won’t even let the rosemary come through.

"I’m doing what’s expected of me," he says at last, choosing his words carefully.

Felix lets out a low, humorless laugh.

"Yeah, me too."

The silence that follows is heavy, almost unbearable. Felix brings the teacup closer to Hyunjin, offering it with both hands. Their fingers brush in the brief moment of exchange, and Hyunjin shivers just from touching Felix’s skin.

"Careful, it’s hot," Felix warns, his voice slightly faltering.

Hyunjin thanks him in a whisper, bringing the cup close to his lips just to inhale the steam, unable to take a sip.

"You..." Hyunjin begins, then hesitates. Felix looks at him, waiting for him to continue. "Do you remember?"

The silence thickens. Felix takes a few seconds before answering, and when he does, his eyes seem to gleam under the golden light streaming through the windows.

"I do."

"I thought..." He takes a deep breath and tries again. "I thought you’d forgotten."

Felix gives a half-smile, sad and beautiful in a way that’s painful to look at for too long. He steps closer to Hyunjin, as if keeping distance is no longer an option.

"Why?"

Hyunjin lowers his gaze, shaking his head slowly. The tea steam still rises toward his face, making it warm and flushed.

Why did he think Felix had forgotten?

"You thought it’d be easy to forget that?" Felix continues, his question sending a chill down Hyunjin’s spine.

Every memory of that morning, but above all, of that night, the heat, the whispers, the taste of peach mixing with honey, returns in vivid detail, as if they’ve never left each other’s arms. As if Felix’s touch still burns on his skin.

If Hyunjin closes his eyes and concentrates hard enough, he can almost feel the pressure of Felix’s hips on his lap.

"You’re married," Hyunjin says, a warning for both of them.

"I know. And tomorrow, you will be too."

The space between them seems to shrink and stretch at the same time, as if God Himself doesn’t know whether to tear them apart or push them back together.

Felix runs a hand through his blond hair, eyes fixed on Hyunjin. He has dreamed so long of seeing those eyes on him again.

"Why are you here?" Hyunjin asks in a whisper.

"This is my home," Felix replies solemnly. "Minho and I live here."

Hyunjin’s world stops.

"You… live here?"

"Why the surprise?"

"I thought you lived with Minho’s family."

"My parents insisted that all their children live here. Donghyun is their successor, Changbin and Minho are honorary partners in the vineyards. There was no reason for us to live anywhere else."

"So..."

"Yeah," Felix smiles faintly. "We’ll be living together now."

Together. Living together. Every day. Every night.

He lowers his eyes to the cup of tea, still warm in his hands, but the scent of rosemary seems to have vanished, replaced by Felix’s sweet, natural scent, so familiar, so cruel.

"God," Hyunjin murmurs to himself.

Felix chuckles, low and humorless.

"You sound disappointed."

Hyunjin lifts his eyes, meeting Felix’s gaze again. They’re so close. Dangerously close. For a moment, Hyunjin considers stepping back, creating space, but his feet won’t move.

Felix doesn’t move either. Instead, he tilts his head slightly, studying Hyunjin with an expression so tender it takes his breath away.

Hyunjin shakes his head.

"I’m just surprised."

"Are you afraid?"

"Afraid? Of you?"

"Of us."

Yes. Hyunjin feels the fear corroding his skin, crawling into his insides and carving a hollow pit in his heart. Nothing can fill it except Felix, who, ironically, is the reason it exists in the first place.

"No."

Then, with a boldness Hyunjin still remembers, Felix leans in even closer, until their breaths tangle in the space between them. He lifts his left hand, wearing a diamond-encrusted wedding ring, and wraps his fingers around the teacup Hyunjin holds with both hands, setting it down on the table. The tea remains untouched. It was only a pretext to be alone in the end.

"If you want," Felix whispers, "I can walk away now."

Hyunjin feels his heart slam against his ribs like a bird desperate to escape an iron cage. Yet when he opens his mouth to speak, no sound comes out. The only part of his body that manages to move is his hand, almost involuntarily, reaching for Felix’s shirt and clutching it in silent plea.

His expression melts. Brow furrowed, lips parted as uneven breaths escape him, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. His cheeks burn red, his body radiates heat, and the gland behind his ear pulses with an unbearable buzz.

It’s like a thousand insects crawl beneath his skin, burrowing under his clothes, biting every inch of him. Being near Felix is poisonous. Felix is the poison. And yet, in a maddening contradiction, he is also the only antidote that can make the pain disappear.

"Please." Hyunjin grips his shirt tighter, eyes now closed, his breath brushing against Felix’s sharp nose. "Please."

With a sigh, Felix closes the last inch between them until their foreheads touch, soft as if in prayer.

"I thought about you," Felix says, his low voice sending chills across Hyunjin’s skin beneath the fabric. "Every night. Every day. I thought about you."

Hyunjin nods over and over, like he’s saying me too .

"And now you're marrying my brother," Felix reminds him.

Hyunjin clutches his shirt harder, fingers twitching, their foreheads still touching, their breathing synced.

"Kiss me", Hyunjin begs.

He never thought he’d be brave enough to ask for something like this, but the words slip free before he can hold them back.

Felix exhales hard against his face and pushes him toward the table. Hyunjin stumbles and steadies himself with his hands, hips bumping into the wood. Felix grabs his waist with one hand and cradles the back of his neck with the other.

"Please," Hyunjin whimpers again, his voice breaking against Felix’s cheek.

He can’t understand the hesitation. In all his memories, Felix is always one step ahead, always the one to pull him forward, and now Hyunjin is pleading with everything he has, and still he doesn’t feel the heat of lips against his own.

"Felix…" Hyunjin nearly cries out, his voice hoarse with want and frustration. His body is burning, desperate for more, but Felix stays where he is, breathing against him, his scent overwhelming, his grip unmoving.

"We have to go back," Felix says.

"No." Hyunjin pulls him closer, his knuckles white from how tightly he grips Felix’s shirt. "No, please..."

He moves his face toward him, but the way Felix recoils, almost fleeing, only allows their mouths to brush for a fleeting second.

Felix stands still in front of him, arms limp at his sides, eyes blank.

Still leaning on the table, Hyunjin wants to slap him, scream at him, demand what the point of any of this is.

"I’m sorry," Felix says, shaking his head slowly.

Hyunjin opens his mouth several times, but his voice stays trapped in his throat. He watches as Felix turns his back and walks out of the kitchen, leaving him alone.

With trembling, sweaty hands, Hyunjin grabs fistfuls of his black hair and yanks. He turns and bends over the table, his forehead hitting the wood. His whole body burns, his blood boils through his veins. Beside his face sits the rosemary tea, untouched, lukewarm. He wishes it were still scalding like it was minutes ago, so he could pour every drop over his pale skin and feel a different pain than the one tearing through his chest.

Felix wrapped around him, and then he left, leaving him alone with his most disturbing thoughts, lost, desperate.

Hyunjin begged for him.
(please kiss me)
But Felix did nothing.
It isn’t even fair.
None of it is.
None of it.

☾𖤓

Hyunjin holds a match between his fingers and fills his lungs with air.

He’s fed up with it all.

It’s night, and he’s in the same room he was in the last time he was at the mansion. It’s still empty, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll stay here just for the night, after all, tomorrow he’ll sleep in Donghyun’s room, and the sheets won’t smell like lemongrass anymore, but pure ginger.

In the small fireplace across from the bed, Hyunjin places all the yellowed papers, some stained with charcoal, that he kept in his chest. That chest he never let anyone near, the chest that hides what even he couldn’t conceal: the feelings he’s been nurturing for a year for Lee Felix. His alpha’s omega brother.

After the episode in the kitchen, Hyunjin decided it would no longer do to be consumed by this desire, that he wouldn’t allow himself to suffer over something so condemnable. He has an alpha, damn it! He needs to respect himself, not beg for the kisses of another omega as if he were some backward, poorly raised man.

So, when he left the dinner table, and that silent torture of watching Felix eat soup right in front of him, sitting next to his husband, he knew he needed to put an end to it.

He opens the chest and grabs all the drawings, all the damned unsent letters he wrote with teary eyes, dreaming of the day he’d see him again, and he crumples them in anger. He throws everything into the cold fireplace and grabs the small matchbox that sits on the bedside table.

When the flame ignites, Hyunjin watches it, trembling, almost insignificant, but he knows it’s the one responsible for burning, along with everything that’s consuming him, those physical memories of the moments spent with Felix.

The smell of the match burning fills his nose, and it’s only when the flame scorches the tips of his fingers that Hyunjin throws it into the fireplace. In an instant, the fire spreads across the papers, reducing them to ashes. He closes his eyes, his heart pounding, his hands sweaty, his eyes aching from the tears he’s been holding back since Felix left him in the kitchen.

Hyunjin walks to the bed and burrows himself under the covers.

It’s time to sleep and not dream of constellations.

It’s time to close his eyes and not feel his lips tingling against his skin.

It’s time to grow up.

It’s time to forget, once and for all, the one who taught him, even if just for a brief time, what it felt like to be alive.

☾𖤓

“Oh, dear, you look perfect!” Haesoo enters the room, along with Seungmin, who is delicately holding the alpha’s arm.

The two smile at Hyunjin, who has finally finished getting ready for the wedding.

Wedding.

That word makes him swallow a painful knot down his throat. Even so, Hyunjin smiles at both of them, their eyes sparkling as they examine every detail of his outfit.

Hyunjin wears a custom-made piece, not one centimeter more, not one less. The off-white fabric flows down his body in soft folds, almost liquid, as if his body is wrapped in solid mist. Over his shoulders and chest, golden embroidery spreads in organic arabesques.

The centerpiece of the outfit is the stiff corset, gold like the other details. The vertical ribs mold his silhouette, pulling his narrow waist inward as if they want to keep it a secret that only his future husband would be able to unveil.

Hyunjin feels his body shiver when he thinks that, besides him, someone else has already unveiled it.

Every inch of the corset is decorated with intricate designs of leaves and flowers, shimmering under the candlelight. The long, puffy sleeves fall down to the wrists, shifting with every heavy breath Hyunjin takes.

In his black, loosely styled hair, a golden tiara, a gift from Haesoo. “You’ll look like a prince", she said dreamily.

His mother seems emotional, or perhaps just pleased to finally have her only son about to walk down the aisle with one of the richest alphas they’ve ever known.

“Thank you", Hyunjin says, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “I don’t know if I look good in these clothes… I’m not used to wearing such extravagant things.”

“You’d look good even in a potato sack, Hyunjin", Seungmin says, a sympathetic smile on his beautiful face. He looks graceful too, wearing a navy blue suit. “Believe me.”

“Listen to your brother-in-law, son", Haesoo says, letting go of Seungmin to approach him, gently stroking his cheek. Hyunjin looks into his mother’s eyes. “I’m proud of you. My only son is going to be part of a good family, with a good alpha, good in-laws, and good brothers-in-law. I couldn’t be happier. I know you’ll be in good hands.”

“Yes, Mom", Hyunjin smiles, nodding.

Haesoo adjusts the lace high collar around Hyunjin’s long neck, a gesture of affection she doesn’t usually show.

“I’m sorry if I ever doubted you", she whispers, a fleeting glimmer of sadness in her eyes before she smiles again. “Or if I was too harsh. Everything I did, I did it thinking of your well-being.”

Hyunjin looks down, his upper teeth biting his lip. He shakes his head solemnly, as if to say it’s okay. He doesn’t expect any regrets from his mother about how he was raised, even though she had really locked him in a cage like an unhappy bird.

Seungmin lightly touches Hyunjin’s arm and smiles at him. There’s something comforting about the gesture, even though Hyunjin’s mind is in complete chaos.

“Hurry, son", Haesoo says, adjusting her own puffed-up dress. “I’ll be waiting at the bottom of the stairs to guide you to the altar.”

“Okay", Hyunjin says. “I won’t be long.”

Haesoo and Seungmin leave the room, the door left open as an invitation for Hyunjin not to linger there any longer.

In the mansion’s garden, hundreds of guests, lavish decorations, food, and drinks in abundance. Hyunjin is almost ready to hide under the bed to avoid facing it all again, like at his engagement party. But now, there will be no escape.

He turns back to the mirror, forcing himself to smile at his reflection. He needs to look perfect, flawless, worthy of being Lee Donghyun’s husband.

So many omegas would dream of being in his place, about to have a diamond ring on their left hand, given by none other than the legitimate heir to the Lee vineyards. Many would kill him if it meant taking his place, leaving their families, abandoning their own alphas. And Hyunjin is here, wanting to be anywhere else.

Suddenly, as a complete satire of his own feelings, Hyunjin sees, through the mirror, the materialization of his madness.

Felix stops at the threshold, staring at him through the mirror. His outfit seems to absorb all the light in the room, like a palpable shadow between the gleam of the chandeliers. The golden details on his black vest shine, and the translucent sleeves seem fragile and beautiful enough to tear the very fabric of reality around them.

Hyunjin swallows hard.

Felix looks at him seriously, his face flushed, his blonde hair styled gracefully. So beautiful it aches deep in Hyunjin’s chest.

He looks stunning, entirely dressed in black, the color of Hyunjin’s dark hair, while Hyunjin wears the white of his purity and Felix’s blonde hair. Together, they seem like an eclipse, those rare ones that happen once every century and make everyone go outside just to admire them. The difference, though, is that no one can see them here. No one witnessed the silent union of the sun and moon that happened a year ago, and no one ever will, because it won’t happen again.

Felix’s eyes tremble; Hyunjin can’t tell if it’s admiration or sadness. All he can interpret is that his own gaze reflects the sorrow eating him from the inside.

Felix, still standing at the door, seems ready to tear the world in half. And in that moment, Hyunjin wants to be torn apart with him.

But he doesn’t succumb.

Hyunjin lifts his nose, blinks his watery eyes, and walks over to where Felix is.

He shuts the door, pushing him away like he never had the courage to before. His back slides down the cold wood until he is sitting on the floor, his face buried in his hands.
(please kiss me)

He is Hwang Hyunjin, the only son of Hwang Haesoo and Hwang Kyungmin. And tonight, he will also be Lee Hyunjin, the wife of Lee Donghyun.

He needs to be brave.

The music from the garden reaches his ears, muffled, like a call to his destiny.

When he hears Felix’s footsteps retreating, fading down the hallway, he takes a deep breath and rises from the floor, his clothes feeling like a ton of bricks. He straightens his shoulders and adjusts the golden tiara in his hair.

Then, with steady steps, he walks out of the room, heading towards the rest of his life.

Hyunjin smiles at the crowd as he crosses the garden, his arm linked with Haesoo’s, the golden flames reflecting on the fabric of his perfect outfit, his watery eyes slipping unnoticed among the fake smiles and admiring compliments.

He holds his breath to avoid smelling anything, least of all the peach scent of the omega sitting right in front of the altar, in the first row of chairs, beside his alpha, staring at him with a hardened expression.

Hyunjin no longer feels the air against his face. He can’t even say what color Donghyun’s clothes are or what music the violinists are playing. All he knows is that he said yes.
Yes to Lee Donghyun, just like he said to Felix a year ago.
(do you want to kiss me?)

And now he has a diamond ring on the fourth finger of his left hand and, in a few hours, a mark at the base of his neck.

☾𖤓

“You look absolutely stunning", Donghyun says, very close to Hyunjin’s face.

They are dancing in the garden, near the end of the party, while the musicians continue to play classical melodies that accompany the dance of those who still resist after hours.

Hyunjin gives a shy smile, receiving a discreet squeeze at his waist.
“Thank you, my alpha", he says.

What a strange term to refer to Donghyun. My alpha.

“I’ve been thinking about how lucky I am to have you as my omega", Donghyun continues, leading the dance.

He is a few good centimeters taller than Hyunjin, strong, robust, his broad chest easily covering Hyunjin’s. His blonde hair is short, with some strands falling onto his forehead. Donghyun is a handsome alpha, attractive to any omega.

So why can’t Hyunjin desire him? Why did he feel the roughness of the kiss they shared at the altar? Why didn’t he like the taste of ginger that lingered on his lips? Why didn’t he enjoy having to look up to meet Donghyun’s eyes? Why didn’t he feel protected in such strong arms?

“Why?” Hyunjin asks. “I’m not worthy of you feeling that way. I’m just a common omega.”

“You’re not common", Donghyun says, seeming lost in Hyunjin’s eyes. “You’re the most beautiful omega I’ve ever seen in my life. You’re like a starry night.”

“My alpha…”

“Accept the compliments from your husband", Donghyun says, a bit more seriously. Hyunjin nods, holding onto his shoulders in the middle of the dance. “What I mean is, I’m really happy you’re now mine.”

“I’m happy too", Hyunjin says, more to satisfy Donghyun’s ego than anything else.

“I’ll be a good husband", he says, like a promise. “You won’t lack anything.”

With that, Donghyun spins Hyunjin in his arms in a graceful dance step. When Hyunjin turns in the other direction, his eyes meet Felix’s, who is also dancing with Minho, his chin resting on the alpha’s shoulder as he smells the blonde hair.

Hyunjin does the same: he lays his cheek on his alpha’s shoulder and closes his eyes. Donghyun seems to like that gesture and hugs him tenderly by the waist.

“You smell so good", he whispers in Hyunjin’s ear. “I’m looking forward to having you in my arms tonight. I’ll make you feel like you’ve never felt before.”
(please
like no omega ever could make me feel)

“My alpha", Hyunjin whispers back. “What if I’m not good for you?”

“You will be", Donghyun confirms. “I’m sure of it.”

Then, Hyunjin opens his eyes again, and Felix is still there, dancing slowly with Minho, his eyes fixed on Hyunjin.

Anger and hurt rise up his spine. He doesn’t understand why Felix is looking at him like that while he is in his own husband’s arms. While Hyunjin is in his husband’s arms.

When he begged for a kiss, Felix left him alone, and now he’s doing this? Looking at him like he wants him? He doesn’t have that right.

Hyunjin is so upset that he can’t even act rationally. That’s why he slides his hands along Donghyun’s neck and slowly brings his nose to his scent gland, inhaling the pure ginger scent that flows from there.

“Oh, dear", Donghyun says softly, tightening his grip around Hyunjin’s waist. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” Hyunjin looks at him, forcing a false glimmer of innocence in his gaze. He stares at Donghyun for a few seconds, wishing more than anything that Felix is watching all of this and regretting what he did the day before.

“I’m sure you know.”

“My alpha says… Smell him?”

“Yes", Donghyun nods. “I’m already crazy about having you, and you’re still doing this. I won’t resist much longer.”

Hyunjin glances over Donghyun’s shoulder. Felix is still dancing with Minho, his face buried in the alpha’s chest, only his eyes facing Hyunjin. It’s enough to keep him going.

“I liked the kiss", Hyunjin lies, turning his gaze back to Donghyun. “At the altar.”

“You liked it?” Donghyun smiles sideways at him. “Do you want me to kiss you again?”
(no no no no)

“Yes.”

Following his request, Donghyun places his lips on Hyunjin’s. It’s the same sensation as hours ago: hard, rough, bitter from the alcohol Donghyun drank shortly before pulling him onto the dance floor.

Hyunjin closes his eyes and lets himself go. Now, it’s not just a small peck like it was when he said yes, it’s a real kiss, their lips parting, and, God, Donghyun’s tongue entering his mouth, contaminating everything with ginger, when before it was pure peach.

He tries to follow his rhythm, but Donghyun seems truly hungry. Taking advantage of the fact that very few people are still in the garden, he seems eager to start his wedding night right in the middle of the chairs and flower vases of the decoration. Hyunjin is nauseated by that kiss, his eyes tightly squeezed shut, but then he remembers his real purpose.

He opens his eyes and sees Felix with a full fire in his gaze. Since half his face is buried in Minho’s neck, Hyunjin can’t fully see his expressions, but all he needs is in those eyes. Eyebrows furrowed, eyelids tightly pressed. He’s watching Hyunjin kiss an alpha, his brother, all because Hyunjin rejected him as if he were that rosemary tea cup no one really liked.

Hyunjin sees the pain written all over Felix’s face, and that’s all he needs to stay still, enduring the bitter taste, enduring the touch he doesn’t want, enduring everything he has chosen for himself.

When Donghyun finally pulls away to breathe, Hyunjin pretends to be out of breath with desire, sliding his hand across his chest.

“You’re perfect", Donghyun murmurs, caressing his hair as if it were the most precious thing in the world. “My perfect omega.”

Hyunjin smiles at him. The fakest smile he’s ever given in his life. A smile so well constructed it almost seems real.

From a distance, Felix is still watching him. He doesn’t disguise it. He doesn’t run away.

Minho says something in his ear amidst the dance, but Felix doesn’t even seem to hear. He just keeps staring at Hyunjin, as if he’s trapped, as if he’s bleeding inside.

Hyunjin feels a sharp pain in his chest. An almost uncontrollable urge to cross those few steps to the couple, take Felix’s hand, and run away from there without looking back.

But he won’t do that.

Then Donghyun takes his hand, and, under drunken cheers from the few remaining guests, he leads Hyunjin into the mansion, away from the garden.

To their much-anticipated (and feared) wedding night.

☾𖤓

Hyunjin is in pain.

Everywhere.

His body hurts from the little toe to the last strand of hair on the back of his neck.

Sitting at the breakfast table, which, on the day after the wedding ceremony, was served in the garden, he can't even touch the food.

Donghyun, on the other hand, is radiant.

He walks down the stairs that morning with a smile from ear to ear, Hyunjin by his side, pretending to be satisfied while he can barely walk without his insides twisting. When they reach the garden, they are greeted with warm hugs, everyone eager to see the bite marks on Donghyun’s neck. And they’re there. Red, burning, covered with a simple bandage Hyunjin placed before Donghyun woke up.

Felix is the only one who doesn’t greet the newlyweds. He stays seated, drinking orange juice, avoiding eye contact.

The smell of honey is subtle, overtaken by the sharp ginger.

Then Hyunjin looks at the fresh bread, the chocolate cake, the peach syrup (how ironic) in a beautiful glass bowl. He just looks because he isn't hungry.

“Are you okay?” Donghyun asks quietly, just loud enough for him to hear, amidst the chatter of the rest of the family.

“Mm-hm", Hyunjin nods, his hands on his lap.

“Really? You haven’t touched your food.”

“I...” he swallows hard, looking for the right words. “I’m just a little nauseous.”

It’s the smell. That damn ginger smell is churning his stomach.

He smelled it all night long, soaked in the sheets, on his skin, in his hair… God, his saliva running down his neck, his thighs, his mouth, leaving it wet and dirty.

Hyunjin flinches with a gag when Donghyun tries to brush a lock of hair from his face. It’s inevitable not to glance at Felix, who, due to the small noise, is now staring at him.

“Sorry", Hyunjin says to the alpha. “Sorry. It’s just a discomfort.”

“Oh", Donghyun raises an eyebrow. “I understand.”

“Hyunjin", Seungmin, who is sitting next to him, whispers his name. “I can help you with that.”

“Help me?”

“Come", he says, delicately wiping his lips with a napkin. “I’ll take Hyunjin to eat something lighter in the kitchen", he announces to everyone at the table. “You know how hard it can be for an omega to eat such heavy food right after the wedding. We’ll be back soon.”

Hyunjin briefly glances at his mother, then at Donghyun, and, receiving no accusatory glance, follows Seungmin inside.

Contrary to what the other omega said, they don’t go to the kitchen but instead head upstairs. They cross the hallway and reach a room as large as the one Hyunjin was in the night before with Donghyun. The curtains are open, and the morning sun and gentle breeze bathe every beautiful piece of furniture.

The room smells like patchouli, the scent that emanates from Seungmin. He doesn’t detect Changbin’s scent, and he’s grateful for that. The soft aroma is comforting and doesn’t intensify the nausea he feels.

Seungmin shuts the door behind them. Hyunjin lets himself collapse on the edge of the bed, his whole body aching.

“You can stay here", Seungmin says gently, sitting beside him. “You don’t have to say anything right now.”

Hyunjin feels his eyes tear up. The smell of patchouli seems to cradle his broken heart, almost giving him permission to break down.

“It hurts", Hyunjin says quietly, holding back tears. “Why does it hurt so much?”

“Did he hurt you?” Seungmin squeezes his hand, getting closer. Hyunjin nods, his lips between his teeth. “Hyunjin…”

“He didn’t mean to", he continues. “I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, but…”

“I understand", Seungmin says. “The first night with an alpha is difficult. If he’s not gentle enough…”

“It’s not just that", Hyunjin interrupts, his voice trembling. “I felt… so alone. So dirty.”

Seungmin falls silent for a moment, his warm touch still holding Hyunjin’s cold fingers.

“When he kissed me, it burned. When his hands touched me, I felt like I could scream. I… I wanted to run away every second, and when… when he…”

He stops talking. He can’t describe that night anymore.

“You shouldn’t have felt that way on your first time.”

“But I did", Hyunjin admits.

He takes a deep breath, trying to stop the tears, but they fall anyway. He doesn’t know why he’s confessing all of this to Seungmin, they’re not even close, but he feels that if he keeps it inside, he’ll explode in the next few hours.

“I kept staring at the ceiling, waiting for it to end. I pretended I was someone else. I pretended it wasn’t my body under him.”

Seungmin moves carefully, hugging him around the shoulders, and Hyunjin gives in. He rests his head on Seungmin’s chest, his disheveled hair mingling with the soft fabric of his clothes.

“You don’t love him, do you?”

Hyunjin shakes his head. How could he pretend that?

“Do you love another alpha? Is that why it was so bad?”

“No", Hyunjin answers immediately.

He doesn’t love another alpha.

Hyunjin closes his eyes, and the image of Felix invades his mind as if it’s always lurking, waiting to be remembered, like a curse embedded within him. The intense eyes, the way he danced with Minho, but with all his attention focused on Hyunjin. The way he rejected him in the kitchen, then ignored him at the party, only to look at him in the end as if the world had ended when he saw him kissing Donghyun.

Silence falls between them for a while, only broken by the muffled sound of Hyunjin’s breathing against the other omega’s chest.

“You’re safe here", Seungmin assures him. “You can rest a bit if you want. The wind from this window is very comfortable, especially in the morning.”

“I don’t want to sleep now", Hyunjin says.

“Alright. Do you want me to stay?”

Hyunjin nods.

“Okay, Hyunjin", Seungmin smiles at him. “I’ll stay with you.”

“I like your company", Hyunjin admits. “Your scent is nice.”

“Changbin says the same thing", Seungmin laughs, looking down at his lap. “He says it’s like rubbing your nose in spring. Like that’s even possible.”

Hyunjin smiles, liking the analogy. Indeed, the patchouli scent is refreshing and spring-like.

“Do you love your husband?” Hyunjin asks suddenly.

He knows the question might sound silly, after all, the way they look at each other, touch each other, and the way Seungmin talks about the alpha already says a lot about it. Plus, there’s the information from Felix that they love each other so much that they didn’t even wait for the wedding to be together.

“I love him with all my heart", Seungmin says, a passionate sigh. “My alpha is everything I could want.”

“You’re lucky", Hyunjin says.

“Donghyun can be difficult, but he likes you", Seungmin says after a sigh. “It may just be a matter of time before you get used to him and start liking him too.”

“Do you think that’s possible?”

“I think so", Seungmin nods. “A lot of omegas marry alphas for convenience and then end up falling in love. Maybe, if you give it a chance, you could be happy in this marriage.”

Hyunjin bites his lip, not really wanting to think about it right now.

He hesitates, but the next question escapes before he can stop it.

“And Felix?” he whispers. “Is he happy with Minho?”

Seungmin looks up at him attentively. For a moment, he seems to ponder how much he can or should say.

“Minho is a good alpha. He takes good care of him, understands my brother, respects his boundaries. They have a calm relationship.”

Hyunjin nods slowly, but the answer isn’t exactly what he wanted to hear. The silence stretches between them until Seungmin completes:

“But you’re asking if he loves him like I love Changbin, aren’t you?”

Hyunjin looks at the other omega, his eyes widening slightly. That’s exactly it.

Seungmin sighs.

“Sometimes… it seems like he does. Other times, he seems distant.”

“How distant?”

“I don’t know", Seungmin shrugs. “Felix is complicated. He spent a lot of time away from home when he was studying. When he was twelve, our parents sent him to Switzerland to an omega boarding school. He came home once a year or less, until he was eighteen. I don’t know if it was because of our family’s rules or something else, but he seemed confused, rebellious, and questioning. He fought with our dad and Donghyun for two weeks when he found out he was getting engaged to Minho, but then he accepted it and, well, they understood each other", he chuckles. “Too well, if you want to know.”

Hyunjin lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. The image of teenage Felix, rebellious, arguing with his parents over an arranged marriage doesn’t seem too hard to imagine.

“I always thought he was freer than all of us", he comments, looking down. “More determined. Like he knew what he wanted.”

“He does", Seungmin confirms. “Felix saw life beyond this house. He went to another country, saw many places, and, gosh", he shakes his head, as if remembering some detail, “he did so much while he was away. I think living a life as dull as mine doesn’t let him be completely happy.”

“But he chose to stay", Hyunjin says, almost whispering. “He could’ve said no.”

“He could’ve", Seungmin agrees. “But he also knew it wouldn’t be easy. The family, the commitments, the image… Everything. Plus, Minho isn’t someone easy to turn down. He’s patient, loyal, and a very handsome alpha. Felix may want the world, but he also wants stability. Maybe he thought he could have both.”

Have both.

Felix, at some point, thought he could have stability with Minho and freedom with Hyunjin?

No. He doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t want to think about Felix doing all those things at an omega boarding school, or getting along with Minho.

He’s trying to deal with his own feelings, with that itch that’s been bothering him, and the nausea that rises in his throat every time Donghyun’s moans echo in his memory. It’s not the time to speculate about Felix.

“I think you need to rest", Seungmin says, noticing Hyunjin’s silence. “I’ll go back to the garden and come up with something for them.”

“Don’t say anything about what I said", Hyunjin squeezes his hand tightly. “Please.”

“You don’t have to worry", Seungmin reassures him. “I won’t say anything, Hyunjin. We’re omegas. We must protect each other.”

Hyunjin smiles at that.

Seungmin pats his hair before leaving the room.

Hyunjin finally takes off his shoes and lies down on the bed. He won’t sleep, but he needs to rest.

His muscles are sore, his skin sensitive, the mark inflamed, and he still feels so exposed that even moving is uncomfortable.

He tries not to blame Donghyun. It’s not his fault that Hyunjin has an aversion to the idea of lying with his own husband.

The smell of patchouli floods him and calms him. With his eyes fixed on the ceiling, he thanks Seungmin for being so kind.

The touch of omegas is always more careful and delicate, the scent more welcoming, the gaze more attentive. Omegas don’t demand, don’t mark, don’t make him bleed to be called theirs.

With a sigh, Hyunjin touches the bandage at the base of his neck and closes his eyes.

He will be okay.

He just needs to get used to it.

And then he’ll endure.

☾𖤓

The mark on Hyunjin's neck is no longer red, and it doesn't hurt like it did three weeks ago. Now, it is almost fully healed, just pink where the teeth dug deeper, but nothing compared to the bloody mess of his wedding night.

During those twenty-one days, Hyunjin tries to get used to his new life. With his parents back at the farm, he finally realizes that he will be alone here from now on; without his mother, without his father, married, and with the responsibility of being the omega of such an important alpha.

Since they didn’t have a honeymoon because of Donghyun’s business, the vineyards don’t allow him to travel often, the alpha tries to compensate Hyunjin with gifts. He already has a pile of new clothes and three expensive gemstone necklaces on the vanity.

Hyunjin doesn’t ask for any of that, but he accepts it with a smile and thanks his husband for caring about him. Still, sleeping in the same bed as Donghyun is still difficult.

Every night, Hyunjin bathes and puts on light clothes to wait for his husband. It is as his mother instructed him to do. Donghyun lies beside him and, without much ceremony, does what he has to do. Hyunjin is relieved that he is quick and doesn’t ask him to do much. It still hurts when he enters; it is still uncomfortable with all that weight on him, but Hyunjin is starting to get used to it.

As for Felix, even though they live in the same house, their encounters are rare. For most of the day, Hyunjin stays in the large mansion library, reading the almost endless collection of books. He gets distracted and doesn’t even notice the time passing when he is there. At other times, he stays in the garden, talking with Seungmin or with his mother-in-law, but never with the youngest of the family. Seungmin argues, saying that Felix likes to be alone, that he never gives any hints about when he is or isn’t sociable.

But Hyunjin knows what keeps him so distant.

Still, he doesn’t want Felix around. His life has already changed so much, and he doesn’t need to keep looking at that handsome face more than necessary. Having the main meals in front of him is already enough. Painful enough. Agonizing enough.

That cool day, during the afternoon, which was always peaceful, one might even say boring, Hyunjin walks through the old corridors of the mansion toward the library.

He is reading an adventure book and is almost at the end of the story. Although he could take the book anywhere in the house, the library is still his favorite place to spend the hours. He loves the smells of the books, even the dusty ones, and how no one ever enters there.

That’s why Hyunjin furrows his brow when he sees the shiny door slightly open. He touches the doorknob and pushes it, stopping at the threshold when his eyes take in the materialization of a sound he had already heard before even entering.

Minho is standing with his back to the door, shirtless, with his black pants pulled down to his thighs. Felix is sitting at the table in front of him and facing the damn door, his legs open, wrapped around the alpha’s waist, his short nails scratching his broad back, and his mouth rubbing the skin of his shoulder, already full of marks.

Hyunjin holds his breath, his hand still on the doorknob, his face drained of color, his eyes wide. He can’t move. He can’t run away and pretend he never saw that scene right in front of him. He stays there, frozen, still invisible, contemplating the consummation of desire between an omega and an alpha, married, marked, as it should be.

Time seems to slow down around him, as if the image in front of him is frozen in cruel detail, the way Minho arches and moves his hips to push into Felix, the way the omega gasps with his eyes closed, surrendered, the muffled sound of skin against skin filling the library, echoing straight into Hyunjin’s heart.

Then, Felix opens his eyes, and that penetrating gaze meets Hyunjin’s. He thought he would be startled, that he would push Minho away and quickly dress, but no. Felix tightens his legs around Minho’s waist, and, glaring at Hyunjin with eyes full of cruelty, grabs the alpha’s nape, pulling his hair as he moans.

Hyunjin doesn’t look away. They hold that contact while the alpha fucks him forcefully, not even knowing there’s a spectator standing in the doorway.

“Do you like it?” Felix asks, not breaking eye contact.

“A lot", Minho replies. “You’re delicious.”

However, Felix didn’t ask his husband, but Hyunjin.

Hyunjin swallows a painful buildup of saliva in his mouth, his hands shaking, his body drenched in sweat. His mind spins.

The alpha’s movements increase, and Felix squints his eyes, moaning louder. The two climax, and Hyunjin knows because Minho slows down gradually as Felix places lazy kisses on his neck.

Hyunjin stumbles backward as if he had been punched in the stomach. The doorknob slips from his trembling hand, and the door creaks as it closes with a thud, muffling the last sounds of what he has just witnessed.

He can’t breathe, and it’s not an exaggeration.

The air in the corridor seems made of pure smoke, suffocating. The walls narrow, the floor opens beneath his feet as he walks with unsteady steps to his room, his eyes burning, his face on fire, his stomach turning as if he were about to vomit at any moment.

He doesn’t know if he should cry, scream, or tear off his own skin. He is losing his mind.

When he finally reaches his room, he slams the door shut and locks it, walking in circles. His breath comes in uneven gasps, his eyes wide, his hands grabbing his hair as if he wants to pull it out. His heart is beating so fast it feels like it wants to escape his chest.

“Bastard", he whispers, his voice faltering.

Hyunjin squeezes his eyes shut, trying to push away the memory of Felix’s gaze. Those intense, even arrogant eyes haunt him like an angry ghost.

Felix didn’t hide, didn’t show any shame for being caught in such an intimate moment. On the contrary: he was cruel. He made sure to look at Hyunjin, to show that he was desired, taken, adored by his husband while Hyunjin was left alone with his pile of clothes and useless necklaces and nights beside an alpha he couldn’t even stand.

“I hate him…” he says, his voice choked. “I hate him so much…”

But it’s not true. What hurts is knowing that he can’t hate him. What hurts is the fire in his lungs, the tremor in his legs, the feeling of humiliation and abandonment flowing through his body.

He walks to the vanity, sees his reflection in the mirror. The marked neck, the wet eyes, the trembling mouth. He looks like a sad memory of someone who believed they could have something different, someone who once thought they would live.

Then, he starts to cry.

He cries copiously, his face bent over the vanity, his chest rising and falling with the corrosive realization that he is completely unhappy.

Hyunjin doesn’t know how long he cries, but when he looks at the window, the sun is already setting. Amidst the stupor of tears and sobs, a bitter spark rises in his throat. He straightens slowly, his red eyes staring at his own image as if expecting to find some hidden bravery in the depths of his delicate features, but all he sees is the same Hyunjin as always. The one who runs away, who gets used to living what people want him to live, who doesn’t know himself, who doesn’t assert himself.

Then, he lifts his chin, swallows the remaining tears that still insist on rising, and wonders why Felix has the right to be happy in his marriage while he does not. Why Felix can sneak into the library with Minho and spread his legs for him while Hyunjin fights against the nausea every night he has sex with his husband? Why does he have to be the only one to have pleasure, to enjoy life, while Hyunjin suffers silently every damn day of his life?

Maybe all of this is because Hyunjin is stuck in what happened a year ago, in the silly idea that everything could be different, but no. He needs to fight with the weapons he has, and they are a pretty face, a desirable body, and a husband who adores him.

If Felix can have pleasure deliberately with his alpha, Hyunjin can too.

He needs to.

☾𖤓

That night, after dinner, as was his routine, Hyunjin waits for Donghyun in their room.

He combs his hair, rubs the scent gland behind his ear to make his perfume stronger, and sits right in the middle of the bed, under the candlelight, with his legs folded.

It doesn’t take long for the door to open, and through it walks Donghyun, who smells of an imported cigar he usually smokes after meals with his father. Hyunjin feels a bit relieved because the smell of the smoke is still somewhat more pleasant than ginger.

When Donghyun looks at him, Hyunjin smiles and shifts on the bed, anxious. Not anxious because he wants him to take him, but anxious because he wants to prove to himself that he can. He remembers what it was like to feel pleasure, Felix taught him what it was about a year ago, and if the other omega can feel pleasure with his alpha, Hyunjin can too.

“You look beautiful", Donghyun says, unbuttoning his shirt. “Did you do something to your hair?”

“I combed it", Hyunjin replies, playing with a dark strand of hair.

It doesn’t seem like much, but Hyunjin never really dressed up for Donghyun.

“I like it", Donghyun smiles, now shirtless and without shoes. He lies sideways on the bed, his body propped up on his forearm.

Hyunjin swallows and tries to look at him with kinder eyes. Donghyun is a handsome man, with his grown-out blonde hair, a well-defined face, a strong and large body, and a gentle smile. He is a good husband, he genuinely seems to like Hyunjin, so he can do this. He will try just a little more, and then he can try to make happen what Seungmin said the morning after the wedding.

Maybe, if he gives it a chance, he could fall in love with Donghyun.

“I was thinking", Hyunjin says, his hands between his legs. “Maybe we could go to that lake sometime when you’re not too busy?”

“The forest lake?” Donghyun asks, and Hyunjin nods. “Of course, we can.”

Hyunjin notices his eyes light up with a spark of joy. Most likely because the omega never asks for anything directly from him or seems interested in typical newlywed outings.

“I can invite my brothers and…”

“No", Hyunjin interrupts. “Just the two of us.”
“Alright", Donghyun smiles even more widely, looking at him. “We’ll go on the weekend, okay?”

“Alright", Hyunjin forces a smile.

“Is it really that boring to stay here all day?” Donghyun asks. Hyunjin shrugs. “If you want, I can try to arrange that greenhouse you asked for.”

Hyunjin looks up, staring at him.

“Really?” For the first time in a long time, he smiles genuinely. “You’d really do that?”

“Of course. I think it could be good. That way you’d have something to focus on that you enjoy.”

“That would be perfect", Hyunjin nods, the longing to take care of his plants, often his only friends, flooding within him. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me", Donghyun extends a hand to touch his face, stroking his smooth cheek.

“This is your home now.”

Hyunjin nods again, as if that closes the topic. He feels a bit suffocated but tries to hide it, looking down at his hands resting on his lap.

He’s thankful Donghyun doesn’t notice the irritation in his eyes or the redness in his nose from the copious tears earlier. He couldn’t make up any lie about why he was crying in the room, so the dim light, partially softened by the candles, is welcome.

Donghyun is still watching him with that proud look, as if he’s genuinely happy to have him there, making plans, wanting to share moments with him, but Hyunjin knows that Donghyun will always want more than he can offer.

Even so, that night, Hyunjin wants to try.

He wants to see if it’s possible to desire someone simply because they desire you. If it’s possible to warm your own body just because the other person offers warmth.

Hyunjin remembers how Felix took the drawing from his hand and sat him on his lap. How his pressure was comfortable and warm, and how he felt himself burn from the inside out with pleasure.

So when Donghyun sits on the bed, probably thinking they’ll continue a trivial conversation, Hyunjin gathers all his courage and climbs into his lap, face to face with the alpha.

His long hair flows down his bare neck, and his honey scent intensifies. Donghyun seems to hold his breath, maybe surprised, maybe already aroused by this unusual gesture. Hyunjin closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them again, staring at him.

“You can touch me, if you want", he says, his voice low and calm.

Donghyun hesitates only for a second before carefully caressing his waist, moving his hand up to his ribs, not quite measuring the strength of his fingers. Despite the discomfort, Hyunjin doesn’t pull back.

He tries to close his eyes when Donghyun begins kissing his neck. He wants his skin to shiver when he undresses him, he wants his cock to get hard, for his lubrication to flow… Hyunjin just wants to feel anything.

He doesn’t complain. He bites his lip hard and squeezes his eyes shut, letting Donghyun lift his hips a little while still on top of him so he can penetrate him. It’s always difficult and painful when Donghyun enters him because he’s never wet enough, so the alpha always tries to make him wetter, moistening his glans with a little saliva.

Hyunjin keeps his arms on Donghyun’s shoulders, his nails digging into his skin, trying to focus on the sound of his husband’s breathing, the touch of his large hands on his thighs, the way he calls him “my omega” between kisses that wet his skin with saliva.

When Donghyun is fully inside, Hyunjin’s body jerks in an involuntary spasm. He grits his teeth, forces his hips to relax, and takes in a slow breath.

The alpha moves inside him, pushing his hips up. Hyunjin tries not to repel him, tries not to think about how much it hurts, how big his body is and how it makes him feel insignificant. He forces his mind to believe it’s good, that he wants this, that it’s okay to hurt a little at the beginning. He tries to think that maybe, if he pretends well enough, his heart will believe it too.

But everything feels distant, muffled. He’s here, but at the same time, he isn’t.

The orgasm comes quickly for Donghyun, who hugs him tight as he finishes, kissing his forehead when he’s done, murmuring compliments Hyunjin barely hears. He nods, smiles the way he thinks he should, and stays in the alpha’s lap for a few moments. Then they lie side by side, and Hyunjin keeps his eyes fixed on the ceiling while Donghyun adjusts the blanket over their bodies.

Hyunjin stays there, not closing his eyes even once. The vision becomes cloudy, unfocused, while his body tingles and feels like it’s carrying a ton of dirt.

When Donghyun is in a deep sleep, Hyunjin gets out of bed, puts on a silk robe, and leaves the room.

He walks to the bathroom at the end of the hall. He takes off the robe and steps into a tub of fresh water that’s always available. He remembers the first time he talked to Felix and how his entire body burned with desire. He remembers how he got wet and hard just by being near him, while now, when he washes himself from the inside, all he feels is his husband’s thick semen dripping out.

There’s nothing of Hyunjin there. Nothing.

He grabs a soft sponge and plenty of soap. He scrubs his arms, his belly, his legs… All while letting the tears mix with the water he splashes on his face.

The moonlight comes through the window partially covered by a curtain, and Hyunjin briefly looks at the sky. The pain in his chest only grows.

He can’t.

He can’t lie down with his husband without feeling like this. He fears, oh heavens, that it might not even be a problem exclusive to Donghyun.

Hyunjin keeps crying while scrubbing his body, trying to clean himself of the guilt, the anger, the repulsion, everything that bubbles up in his chest. When he reaches his neck, Hyunjin scrubs hard over the mark that’s not fully healed. He scrubs to the point of tearing the sensitive, newly-regenerated skin.

The pain doesn’t stop him from continuing to clean himself, but when he sees the sponge return stained with blood and the water turning red, his body freezes. His hands shake, his chest heaves, and a sob escapes his throat like a stifled scream. Hyunjin stares at the pink foam dripping from his fingers, the shame burning inside him for trying to erase a piece of himself that’s already branded into his skin.

He pulls his knees to his chest, curling up, while the water surrounds his thin body.

When he stops sobbing, Hyunjin wishes, from the bottom of his soul, that he could tear that entire day from his body and memory.

☾𖤓

The next morning, Donghyun wakes up early and leaves a kiss on Hyunjin’s forehead before leaving. He knows because he’s only pretending to sleep, eyes squeezed shut, the blanket pulled up to his neck to avoid showing the injured mark.

A new bandage is applied before getting ready for breakfast, and he tries to wear a shirt that covers as much of his neck as possible. He doesn’t want to raise any questions.

Normally, the breakfast table is always full, with all the family members sitting, eating, and chatting cordially. However, when Hyunjin goes down the stairs and heads to the dining room, he only sees Seungmin elegantly wiping his lips with a napkin. He takes a sip of coffee and looks solemnly at Hyunjin, who sits next to him.

“Good morning", Hyunjin says. “Where is everyone?”

“Good morning", Seungmin replies in his usual friendly tone. “My father woke up the alphas this morning, really early. Changbin said there was a problem with the vineyards, and they had to leave urgently for the capital.”

“Problem?” Hyunjin frowns. “What kind of problem?”

“Oh, I don’t know", Seungmin shrugs. “They never talk business with the omegas in this house. It’s like they’re part of a secret society", he laughs, shaking his shoulders at the little joke.

“I hope it’s nothing serious", Hyunjin says sincerely. “Do you know how long they’ll be gone?”

“Hm", Seungmin seems to think. “The trip is long, and depending on what happened, they might be gone for a longer or shorter time. A few days, maybe.”

“I see", Hyunjin sighs, placing a napkin on his lap. “And your mother?”

“She went to meet some friends in town. She should be back for lunch.”

Hyunjin nods, signaling he understands. He inhales deeply and says,

“It’s strange, this table so empty. There are always so many people.”

“Yes", Seungmin agrees. “But I must admit I like the silence.”

“Yeah", Hyunjin agrees with a little laugh, “me too.”

Seungmin keeps eating while Hyunjin serves himself some juice, bread, and fresh cheese. He doesn’t like eating much in the morning, and what happened the night before only further dampens his appetite.

Seeing himself alone with Seungmin, Hyunjin sees a valuable opportunity to ask for something that’s been on his mind for a few days now.

“Seungmin", he calls after taking a sip of juice. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course", the other omega says, seeming ready to listen.

“Where can I get cinnamon bark for…”

“Good morning.”

Hyunjin’s words are interrupted by a deep voice entering the dining room and the sound of a chair being dragged. It’s Felix, wearing light clothes fitting for spring and exhaling the warm scent of peach first thing in the morning. Hyunjin lowers his gaze, focusing on the plate with bread and cheese.

“Good morning, little brother", Seungmin says, smiling at him. “Did you already know all the alphas are away?”

“Yes", Felix answers. “Do you think the problem is serious?”

“No", Seungmin shrugs. “Changbin would’ve told me if it was.”

“Don’t count on that", Felix replies. “The way you’re acting, he wouldn’t want you to worry.”

Seungmin looks at Felix with wide eyes, as if he’s said something he shouldn’t.

“Felix", Seungmin reprimands him.

“What? You didn’t tell Hyun?”

Hyun.

Hyunjin feels like standing up from the table in anger.

Hyun.

Who does he think he is, calling him that?

“I…” Seungmin looks at Hyunjin, appearing embarrassed or uncomfortable.

“You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, Seungmin", Hyunjin speaks, focusing solely on him. “It’s your right.”

“No, it’s just that…” Seungmin scratches his neck, smiling crookedly. “You’ll know sooner or later, my gossiping little brother just brought it up early. It’s that…” Another smile, a really big one this time. He puts his right hand on his belly and rubs the spot. “I’m pregnant.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen for a brief moment before he regains his composure. The shock doesn’t come from the news itself, he already suspects something is different about Seungmin, with that subtle, sweet scent lingering around him these past few days, but from the sudden confirmation, tossed casually into an already oddly quiet morning.

“Congratulations", Hyunjin says with a smile.

Suddenly, he feels guilty for asking where he could find cinnamon bark to make teas meant specifically to prevent pregnancy. Now that he’s married, pups are expected, but he doesn’t want to risk getting pregnant in the middle of this whirlwind he’s going through.

“Thank you, Hyunjin", Seungmin replies, his smile as radiant as the sun pouring through the window. “I’m still getting used to the idea, but Changbin is over the moon. He nearly jumped out of the doctor’s chair when we heard the news. So far, only Felix, my mom, and now you know. I’m waiting for the right moment to tell the other alphas. Dad will be thrilled to know he’s getting his first grandchild. Or granddaughter!”

Hyunjin nods, eyes fixed on his lap. A sour pang of guilt stirs in his stomach. The contrast between them feels almost cruel. Seungmin speaks of children with the ease of someone who chose that path, someone who is loved and in love. Hyunjin, on the other hand, feels like he can barely breathe in his own home, let alone carry a child for his husband.

“I’m sure you two will be wonderful parents", Hyunjin says, unable to meet Felix’s eyes across the table.

“I hope so", Seungmin says gently. “It’s strange to think there’s a life growing inside me. Part me, part him. I feel complete.”

“I’m really happy for you", Hyunjin murmurs, trying to sound upbeat.

Seungmin smiles again, that same sincere smile Hyunjin has admired since he helped him at the café after the wedding. He stands with his usual grace, blond hair like his brothers’ swaying in the breeze, spreading the scent of patchouli in the air.

“I need to go settle a few things with the housekeeper", he announces, adjusting the hem of his shirt. “I think I’ll meet up with Mom in town so we can come back together before lunch.”

“Be careful", Felix says with a smile. “I don’t want anything happening to my nephew.”

“Nothing will", Seungmin replies.

He places a kiss on Felix’s temple and brushes his fingers gently over Hyunjin’s shoulder before leaving the dining room, his footsteps echoing softly on the marble floor.

The silence left behind is thick like fog.

Felix crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, eyes fixed firmly on Hyunjin, who keeps his gaze on his plate as if Felix’s very presence is unbearable.

Ignoring him is pointless. The peachy scent still hangs in the air, sweet and warm, mocking Hyunjin’s failed attempt the night before.

“You’re different today", Felix says, voice low but sharp.

Hyunjin lifts his eyes slowly, meeting his. There’s something defiant in Felix’s gaze. Hyunjin wants to laugh, bitterly. How can Felix look at him like that after what he saw in the library?

“Different?” he asks through clenched teeth.

Felix lets out a short, humorless laugh.

“Looks like you dunked your face in boiling oil. You’re red as a tomato.”

Hyunjin tightens his grip on the napkin resting on his thighs, then touches his cheeks. They’re burning.

“Are you embarrassed about something?” Felix asks again.

Hyunjin presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek, fuming.

“Am I embarrassed about something?” Felix repeats, deadpan. “What do you think?”

“This is about yesterday? What you saw in the library?”

“Don’t bring that up", Hyunjin snaps, shaking his head slowly. “You… You did that on purpose.”

“What?” Felix frowns.

“Are you seriously pretending not to know?” Hyunjin raises his eyebrows, challenging. “The door was ajar. No one ever goes there.”

Felix shrugs, annoyingly nonchalant.

“So you think I planned it? Took Minho there just so you could see us?”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know I was there", Hyunjin says, voice like ice. “You saw me go in. You looked right at me.”

“I did", Felix admits with such ease it makes Hyunjin want to scream. “But you stayed. You could’ve left, couldn’t you?”

Hyunjin feels the blood drain from his face, only to rush back in a wave of heat. He opens his mouth but has no words. Felix leans forward, elbows on the table.

“Want to know what I think?” he whispers, eyes locked on Hyunjin. “I think you liked watching me fuck Minho.”

Hyunjin exhales sharply through his nose and slams the napkin onto the table, pushing back his chair with a screech. He points a finger at Felix like he’s accusing him of a crime.

“Go to hell.”

He turns his back and storms off toward the stairs. Down the hallway, he enters the library, slamming the door shut. He braces his hands on one of the tables, the very same one where Felix had Minho between his pretty legs the day before.

“He doesn’t get to do this to me", Hyunjin mutters to himself. “He doesn’t get to have this kind of power over me.”

The sound of the door opening and closing makes him whip around. Felix stands there in front of him.

“What do you want?” Hyunjin says loudly, already done with all of it.

“To talk to you", Felix says.

“I don’t want your explanations. Actually, you don’t owe me any. You have every right to fuck your husband wherever you want.”

Felix glances away for just a second before meeting his eyes again. Hyunjin’s hands are clenched into fists at his sides, fingers twitching.

“I know", Felix says. “But you’re right. I did it on purpose.”

Hyunjin’s mouth drops open in shock. He can’t believe Felix is actually admitting it.

“I hate you", Hyunjin whispers, the words slipping out before he can stop them. “You… You think this is a game? You think it’s fun doing this to me?”

Felix steps forward, calm, like Hyunjin’s fury and pain don’t faze him at all.

“No, Hyun", he says, closer now. “I just needed you to feel something.”

Hyunjin laughs, a shaky, nervous sound that catches in his throat as his eyes begin to well up.

“And you thought that would work? Making me watch you fuck your alpha right here?” He points to the table. “You really thought that would get to me?”

“It did", Felix replies, voice dropping even lower. “I knew exactly what it would do to you.”

Hyunjin takes a step forward, incensed, jabbing his finger at him.

“Don’t act like you know anything about me.”

“I know what I saw", Felix fires back. “You stayed. You didn’t look away. And when you left, you were trembling. That destroyed you, Hyun, just like seeing you kiss my brother in that garden destroyed me. I know what you felt wasn’t just anger, because what I felt wasn’t just anger either.”

“No", Hyunjin says close to him, though his voice falters. “I was… I was…”

“You were…” Felix moves even closer, closing the distance until Hyunjin is backed against the table. “Jealous.”

"You’re insane," Hyunjin says, shaking his head, his hips bumping into the edge of the desk as Felix stands just inches from his face.

"You got jealous when you saw Minho fucking me right here," Felix continues, voice low, restrained, provocative.
(please kiss me)

"Why do you think you have so much power over me?" Hyunjin tries to keep his voice steady, but it’s impossible.

"Because I do," he whispers back.

"You don’t," Hyunjin fires back. "You don’t, Felix."

"No?" He arches one of those beautiful brows. "Then tell me to leave."

"What?"

"Tell me to get out of here and leave you alone."

(please kiss me)

"Tell me to leave you in peace and never speak to you again."

"Felix…"

"Do what you did on your wedding night, slam the door in my face, tell me you hate me, say you felt nothing watching me with Minho yesterday."

"Stop."

"You don’t want me to stop."

"Stop, please."

(please
kiss
me)

"Hyun…" Felix grabs Hyunjin’s neck, and he tenses, eyes squeezing shut as his face contorts into a cry he can’t hold back.

"Please," Hyunjin repeats, clutching Felix’s wrist as tears spill down his cheeks. "Please."

"What, Hyun? What do you want?"

"Please, kiss me."

So Felix kisses him.

Their mouths crash together, angry, desperate, aching with pain.

Felix’s saliva is gasoline, and Hyunjin, a lit match. Every time their mouths move, more fuel pours onto the flames, the blaze grows, surging between them, burning through fabric, organs, reason, until Hyunjin becomes nothing but fluid ash in Felix’s arms. Then he’s reborn like a phoenix, rebuilt in flesh and blood and want. Only to die all over again, moments later.

Hyunjin doesn’t know how many times he dies in Felix’s arms. Doesn’t know how many times he comes back. Honestly, he doesn’t want to know.

Felix holds his neck tightly, fingers tangled in the dark hair at the nape of it. Meanwhile, Hyunjin just keeps his arms folded against Felix’s chest, paralyzed, unable to move a single muscle. Their tongues dive into each other with so much longing, so much urgency… Slippery and soft, sweet in a way Donghyun’s kisses never were.

Hyunjin is still crying into the kiss, tears running down to their mouths. He’s so confused, so angry, so hurt…

In a flash of clarity, Hyunjin pushes at Felix’s chest, pulling their lips apart. Still crying, he weakly pounds Felix’s chest over and over, furious.

"Hyun..." Felix tries to catch his wrists to make him stop, but Hyunjin breaks free and shoves him back.

"Don’t say my name!" Hyunjin’s voice cracks, but it rings loud through the silence of the library. His eyes are red, cheeks wet, lips trembling from the kiss. "You… you don’t get to say my name like that."

Felix takes a hesitant step forward, hands half-raised, like he’s showing he won’t come closer.

"I don’t want to hurt you," he says.

"But you do," Hyunjin snaps. "You left me in that kitchen, you… You didn’t write to me, you didn’t even invite me to your wedding!"

"You wanted to attend my wedding?"

"No! God, it’s not about that! It’s about you showing you wanted me all along, like…"

"Like you wanted me?"

Hyunjin freezes, chest heaving. His hair is a mess, his face flushed, fists clenched.

"It doesn’t matter anymore," he says.

"It does," Felix steps in, hands gripping Hyunjin’s slim waist and pulling him close. "It matters, because I want it to. I’ve wanted you all this time. I… I can’t stop thinking about you, Hyun. I can’t go a second without remembering that day."

Hyunjin looks away, but he doesn’t leave Felix’s embrace.

"I kept thinking about your kiss, about the way you moaned for me, how you came with me… I lost my mind watching you at that altar kissing my brother."

"Why?" Hyunjin asks, barely above a whisper.

"Because that mouth is mine," he says, thumb brushing over Hyunjin’s lips, tracing the bottom one. "I was your first kiss. I made you come for the first time. I told you there was more to life than this."

Hyunjin breathes deep, memories flooding him, and now that he’s in Felix’s arms again, he can’t think of anything else.

"And in return, you give me the scene from yesterday?"

"I’m sorry," Felix whispers, again. "I’m sorry."

Hyunjin says nothing.

Felix rests his forehead against Hyunjin’s, panting, as if just being close is the only thing keeping him standing.

"I regret it every single day," Felix goes on, eyes closed, his grip tightening around Hyunjin’s waist like he’s afraid he’ll vanish. "Since I left you that morning. Since I chose the easy road. The safe road."

Hyunjin stays silent. His tears are drying, but his eyes still burn with the afterglow of pain, with the slow fire of resentment.

"You don’t want that road anymore?" Hyunjin whispers back, hoping more than anything he’ll say no.

"I want any road that leads me to you."

Hyunjin whimpers, melting at those words. His knees wobble and he clutches at Felix’s shirt, pulling him closer.

The scents of honey and peach mix again. Hyunjin doesn’t want to talk anymore. He doesn’t want to voice everything he’s felt these past weeks. But he knows exactly what he wants.

Felix.

He wants Felix.

Another kiss explodes between them, stronger, deeper, enough to make Hyunjin’s knees buckle.

Felix presses him into the desk until Hyunjin’s sitting on it. He stands between his legs, still gripping his waist, still sucking on his tongue as saliva pools at the corners of their lips.

God, it feels so good… Hyunjin feels more with these few kisses from Felix than he ever felt fucking his own husband for nearly a month.

He’s already hard, already wet, already tingling… All because Felix’s tongue is sweet and his touch, maddening. Now he’s between his legs, and Hyunjin finds himself in the same position Felix was in yesterday, when he caught him with Minho.

As if reading his mind, Felix breaks the kiss and asks:

"What did you feel when you saw me with him yesterday?" He kisses along Hyunjin’s chin and jaw as he speaks.

"Felix…"

"You felt angry, jealous… But did part of you want to be in his place?"

Hyunjin instinctively shakes his head.

"No?" Felix looks at him, brows raised, like he doesn’t believe it. "You didn’t want to be between my legs, fucking me?" When Hyunjin says nothing, he goes on. "Didn’t want to be right here, exactly where you are, with me inside you?"

As he says it, Felix licks Hyunjin’s scent gland, making him throw his head back and moan, deliberate, desperate, for the other omega to know how turned on he is.

"You’re so beautiful," Felix smiles, pushing his hips forward to grind against Hyunjin. "I want to show you how good this can be…"

They kiss again, hard enough for their teeth to clash. Felix bites his bottom lip, the taste of peach and honey thick in the air between them.

The alphas being out of the house is a blessing, Hyunjin’s sure they’d smell this from any room.

"Remember what I said a year ago?" Felix asks.

"What?" Hyunjin pants, feeling Felix’s nose trail down his neck.

"I said I was going to show you something else."

Hyunjin’s breath catches when he hears that deep voice say those words. Felix trails kisses down his neck, until his chin brushes the collar of Hyunjin’s shirt. With deft fingers, he unbuttons it until it hangs open, useless.

Exposed, Hyunjin trembles, his chin quivering. The shirt slides off and falls to the floor. Felix pauses to look at him, serious, feline eyes ablaze, staring at his torso like it’s a work of art.

Hyunjin’s legs are spread, his erection obvious in his pants, as is the damp spot soaking through. It’s humiliating, Donghyun always had to use spit to get in, and now he’s soaked just from Felix’s kisses.

Felix leans in again, burying his nose in Hyunjin’s neck, in his hair, his ears, his collarbones… He’s delirious. Hyunjin’s fingers grip the edge of the desk, his toes curling in his shoes.

His spine goes cold when Felix touches the small bandage over the wounded mark.

"What happened?" he asks, looking at Hyunjin.

"N-Nothing."

"It wasn’t nothing. Let me see."

Hyunjin can’t stop him, Felix is already peeling off the bandage.

He looks at the mark that was once nearly healed, now red again, dotted with tiny drops of blood. Felix glances up at him, asking a million questions without saying a word.

"Don’t make me say it now," Hyunjin pleads. "Please."

Felix stays silent for a moment longer, but he seems to understand the silent request in Hyunjin’s glistening eyes. So he goes back to kissing him, mouth trailing down his slender chest, heading for what feels like his true destination.

Bent over, Felix looks up at Hyunjin from below, just seconds before sticking out his tongue and wrapping it around one of his nipples. Hyunjin moans, wrapping his legs around Felix’s waist and pulling him closer.

Felix leaves his nipple wet, teasing the sensitive tip with a few grazes of his teeth. Hyunjin moans with every motion, his cock aching inside his pants, his entrance throbbing with need. While still sucking one nipple, Felix grabs the other, massaging it as his mouth makes a mess of Hyunjin’s chest.

His skin is burning, his eyes rolling back without control. Sometimes, Felix’s body rubs against his erection and he feels like he’s brushing heaven.

"I want to suck every inch of you," Felix says, rising to face level again, his hands now massaging both of Hyunjin’s pecs. "Taste you… Hyun, I bet you’re so sweet."

"Felix…" Hyunjin whimpers, grinding up against him.

Felix draws a breath into his lungs and licks his lips once.

"I’m so hard and soaked," he says. "But I want to see you come right now."

"How..."

Hyunjin’s voice cuts off when Felix stops massaging his nipple and presses down on his erection through the fabric. He presses hard, but his hand is so gentle it feels like a caress. Hyunjin grabs his shoulders, desperate to kiss that soft mouth, to moan into it.

"Take it off for me," Felix murmurs, touching the waistband of his pants.

Hyunjin nods repeatedly, lifting his hips so he can slide the pants and his underwear down. Felix bites his lips when he sees him fully naked, vulnerable, begging for the other omega.

Hyunjin’s cock, thick and flushed at the tip, is so hard it’s pressed against his belly. With his legs spread open, Felix has a perfect view of the slick dripping down without pause. He bites his lips and lifts one of Hyunjin’s legs around his waist again, opening him even more.

His free hand slides down to Hyunjin’s entrance and mimics the same move from that night a year ago, circling his ring and middle finger around it, teasing him.

"You like that?" Felix pants against him. Hyunjin can only imagine how hard Felix is too, how wet he must be. He nods, eager.

Felix pushes both fingers inside, and they slip in so easily he looks surprised. Hyunjin takes them in well, moaning with parted lips and trembling eyes.

"You’re so wet," Felix groans, biting his lips. "So damn sweet, Hyun…"

"Please," Hyunjin begs, closing his eyes. "I need…"

"I know," Felix smiles, biting at his cheek.

He starts fucking him with his fingers, massaging him from the inside. Hyunjin is feeling so much pleasure he can’t even keep his eyes open, and it only gets worse when Felix starts grinding his stomach against his cock. Hyunjin whines, digging his fingers into Felix’s narrow shoulders hard enough to leave marks.

Felix twists his fingers inside him, hitting a spot Hyunjin didn’t even know existed. He’s never felt this kind of desperation before. He wants more inside, more fingers, Felix’s cock, anything.

None of his experiences with Donghyun, which basically boiled down to penetration, ever brought him even a third of this pleasure. With the alpha, it was always pain. With Felix, it’s healing.

Felix thrusts a few more times, precise and intentional, he knows exactly what he’s doing, and that’s all it takes. Hyunjin comes just as Felix lowers to lick his nipples again, spilling over his abdomen and onto Felix’s shirt.

He throws his head back, moaning loudly, body twitching with the force of it. He feels it when Felix, still grinding against him, trembles and lets out a drawn-out moan of his own, signaling that he’s come too.

Hyunjin’s body goes limp, and Felix rests their foreheads together, panting against his face. Both with eyes closed, they speak only through that hot breath, thick with the scents of honey and peach in perfect balance.

Felix is the first to break the silence.

"Was it him who hurt you?" He’s talking about the mark.

Hyunjin licks his lips and shakes his head.

"No," he whispers, barely audible. "I tried to wash his scent off. I hurt myself."

"You didn’t have to do that," Felix murmurs, like any sound louder than a whisper might scare Hyunjin away. "His scent doesn’t matter to me."

Hyunjin lets out a faint, humorless laugh.

"But it matters to me. I smell him everywhere."

Felix pulls back just enough to look at him, his eyes as dark as the towering bookshelves around them. The library, once the scene of something Hyunjin wanted to forget, is now the only witness to what they’ve just done.

Felix nods and places a slow kiss on Hyunjin’s lips, still trembling from the orgasm.

"My scent’s going to stay on you now," he whispers, stroking his sweat-damp hair.

"I know," Hyunjin says. "I love your scent so much."

Hyunjin rubs Felix’s back, still clinging to him, legs sliding along the other omega’s.

"You can smell me whenever you want," Felix replies. "Just promise you won’t run from me again."

"I won’t," Hyunjin answers without hesitation.

And truly, he has no intention of staying away from Lee Felix ever again.

☾𖤓 

Hyunjin is going to sleep alone for the first time in many nights.

He takes a deep breath and smiles softly as he lies down on the bed. All he feels is the scent of honey and traces of peach still clinging to his skin, even after the refreshing shower he took just minutes ago.

After everything that happened, the two of them stayed in the library until lunchtime, when Seungmin and his mother-in-law returned home. They ate while exchanging suspicious glances and smiles that no longer resembled the anger and hurt that had been between them for nearly a month. Afterward, Seungmin asked Felix for help with something related to the baby, and Hyunjin returned to his usual afternoon routine.

Now, he’s in his bedroom, staring up at the chandelier on the ceiling with his lips caught between his teeth and a giddy smile tugging at them. He’s clean, hair freshly washed, skin soft from the oils he massaged into it to make himself even more inviting. Hyunjin is wearing his best sleepwear: a loose, buttonless white shirt that falls to mid-thigh, with delicate ruffles along the sleeves and sides. Underneath, he wears neither pants nor underwear.

He knows Felix is coming to him tonight.

He has never prepared himself like this for his husband. The most he ever did to attract him, ironically, was comb his hair. But now Hyunjin waits for Felix in bed, practically naked for him, skin soft and fragrant and, God, so turned on.

He lies there for a few minutes that feel like hours, staring at the ceiling, chest rising and falling with the delicious anticipation burning in his stomach. When he finally hears the gentle knock on the door, his heart nearly leaps out of his chest.

He jumps from the bed and practically runs to the door. Hand on the knob, he takes a breath and opens it.

"Hi," he says, unable to hold back the smile as he looks at Felix standing in the doorway.

Felix doesn’t answer. He just steps in quietly. Once he’s inside, Hyunjin closes the door and locks it.

Felix is barefoot, his hair still damp from a recent shower, and he’s wearing a dark linen shirt slightly open at the chest, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His light cotton pants hang loosely on his narrow hips, and Hyunjin’s heart races when he sees the gleam in Felix’s eyes as he crosses the threshold.

His gaze travels down Hyunjin’s body, lingering far longer than necessary on his bare legs, alabaster skin glowing under the soft candlelight, and the curve of his form hidden by nothing but that teasing piece of fabric begging to be removed.

"You were..." Felix starts, but the words die in his throat. He tries again, a smile slowly forming at the corner of his lips. "Were you waiting for me?"

Hyunjin tilts his head slightly to the side, his gaze both sweet and daring.

"Maybe."

Felix takes two slow steps forward. The room feels smaller with both of them inside, the tension between their eyes thick enough to touch.

"You’re going to stay, right?" Hyunjin asks, unable to hide his own anxious longing.

"I was just going to say goodnight," Felix replies, voice low and husky, though the smile doesn’t leave his beautiful face.

Hyunjin sits on the edge of the bed, his shirt parting slightly over his thigh. His fingers glide over the bedspread, tracing invisible lines on the fabric; his gaze never leaves Felix.

"Really?" Hyunjin slowly licks his lips.

Felix stops in front of him. He looks into Hyunjin’s eyes for a long moment, then reaches out, brushing his fingers through his clean hair, stroking him with quiet reverence. Hyunjin closes his eyes, savoring the softness of his touch. He takes hold of Felix’s wrist and, slowly, brings it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the delicate skin there.

Hyunjin sees Felix tremble at the gesture, and something about it fills him with pride. Felix might have been teasing when he said he was just there to wish him goodnight, but Hyunjin doesn’t want to leave room for doubt.

"You’re really not going to stay?" Hyunjin whispers.

"Do you want me to stay?" Felix asks softly, his wrist still resting against Hyunjin’s face.

Hyunjin shrugs, too shy to say it aloud.

"Don’t do that," Felix scolds him gently. "Talk to me."

"I want you to," he says at last. "I want you to stay with me. Sleep with me. I want you to…"

"To what?" Felix leans forward, close enough that his breath washes over Hyunjin’s face.

"To fuck me."

Felix smiles at him, that smile that hides a thousand things and speaks thousands more, before pushing Hyunjin down until his back hits the mattress and climbing on top of him.

A vivid memory crashes into Hyunjin’s mind: Felix taking the sketch from his hand and climbing into his lap that night. The same hungry eyes look down at him now, the same freckles glowing under the candlelight, the same blond hair falling across his face.

Still Felix.

"You want to fuck in the bed where you sleep with your husband?" Felix whispers, settling down right on top of Hyunjin’s erection. His bare legs are covered in goosebumps, and his body has been reacting to Felix ever since he dared to imagine this moment.

"He’s not here right now," Hyunjin says, taking a breath. "And neither is your alpha."

"Hm." Felix smiles, brushing a dark strand of hair from Hyunjin’s forehead. "Did I make you this bold?"

Hyunjin lets out a soft moan as he feels Felix’s weight on his hips, his eyes squeezing shut for a second like he’s torn between desire and the final flicker of guilt that still flutters in his chest when they mention their alphas.

"Yes," he murmurs, voice thick and slow like the words are hard to say with Felix’s body pressed against his.

"Then I did a good job."

Felix tilts his head, golden hair spilling like sunlight across his temples. The smile is still there, but his eyes take on something deeper, like he’s aware, if only for a moment, of how heavy this all is. Hyunjin thinks he must be thinking of his husband, of Minho, who seems to love him so much. Maybe he’s thinking of his brother too, who is being betrayed in his own bed while he works.

Hyunjin won’t lie to himself. In this moment, he’s thinking of nothing but the pressure of Felix grinding against his cock.

Felix seems to sense the storm behind Hyunjin’s dark eyes. He leans in until their noses almost touch, and his voice drops, low, rough, laced with a kind of cruel teasing.

"Does he make you tremble like this? When you're under him?"

Hyunjin shuts his eyes. There’s no anger in Felix’s tone, only that cruel calm of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing, and who wants to drive him mad. Maybe there's still a trace of jealousy in the question, but Hyunjin doesn’t want to untangle that right now.

"No," he says, after a long silence, like a confession. "He’s never even tried to make me feel like this."

Felix grins, one of those grins that heralds chaos, and presses his hips harder against Hyunjin’s, drawing a desperate sigh from his throat.

"He doesn’t go down on you?" Hyunjin shakes his head. "Doesn’t fuck you with his fingers?" Another shake. "He doesn’t make you cum?" One more honest, aching no. "Then my brother’s even more of a fool than I thought."

Felix’s hands roam Hyunjin’s body, gliding from his narrow waist to his arms stretched above his head. He laces their fingers together for a moment, as if wanting to hold not just his body there, but everything, his thoughts, his feelings, his desire: all of it bound to Lee Felix.

"Don’t think about him now," Hyunjin whispers, eyes fluttering open as he pants. "Or Minho… Forget them. Make me forget too."

Felix takes a moment to respond. The silence stretches between them like a silk thread in the warm air of the room. Then he leans in, brushing his lips softly against the other omega’s cheek.

"Alright. But you have to promise me something. You’re going to enjoy every second. You’re going to moan for me, come for me, and live for me."

Hyunjin turns his face toward him, their mouths so close that Felix’s deep voice seems to hum between them.

"I promise."

Felix closes his eyes for a second, then the kiss comes, full of everything they’re too afraid to say out loud.

(I want you.
No one else.
No one.
Forever.
You).

Their mouths meet in a wet, tender seal, their tongues already familiar friends. Hyunjin keeps his arms pinned above his head, fingers tangled with Felix’s.

Felix grinds his hips against Hyunjin’s, like the last time they were in bed together. His soft ass sinks onto Hyunjin’s erection, drawing a moan from deep in his chest. Hyunjin tries to free his hands, curious to explore Felix’s body, but he won’t let him go.

It’s like Felix wants control, as if Hyunjin has no right to do anything but moan into his kiss and melt in his arms.

"I want to suck you," Felix says, biting gently at the other omega’s bottom lip. Hyunjin shivers. "Do you want that?"

"I do…" he breathes, aching at the mere thought of Felix’s mouth anywhere other than his lips and neck.

"Then get to the middle of the bed," Felix tells him, sitting up.

Hyunjin nods, watching as Felix moves off his lap and sits on the bed. He crawls up to the center, head against the pillows, legs slightly parted. The memory of Felix lying in this very position as Hyunjin sketched him flashes in his mind, now hazy with desire, and his body tightens.

Felix crawls slowly, almost predatorily, between his legs, placing one arm on each side of Hyunjin’s head, face hovering close.

"You don’t know what that’s like, do you?" he whispers, eyes flicking down to Hyunjin’s vulnerable body. Hyunjin shakes his head. "Then I’ll explain. First, I’m going to suck your cock. Then I’m going to lick you right here", his hand slides beneath Hyunjin’s shirt, fingers rubbing at the slick opening. Hyunjin whimpers. "Then I want you to do the same to me."

"To you?" He swallows, eyes trembling.

"Yes," Felix says. "You can do it."

"I can," Hyunjin nods, already yearning for everything so carefully laid out.

Felix is warning him, preparing him, making sure nothing will scare him.

Hyunjin closes his eyes as Felix kisses his face, wet and slow, brushing along his jaw, neck, and collarbones. His delicate hands push up the shirt, revealing the bare body beneath.

Felix pauses to take him in, his eyes shining like he’s gazing at something sacred. His gaze traces the subtle curves of Hyunjin’s slim body, every faint pink mark left from the bath. He sees it all, seems to want every inch, until his eyes settle on the lower belly, where Hyunjin’s cock lies, hard, glistening at the tip, leaking like a teardrop from a weeping eye.

"So beautiful…" he murmurs, almost to himself. "You’re such a beautiful omega, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin, lips parted and eyes half-lidded in pleasure, looks like he’s made of pure desire. Felix brings his hands to the hem of the shirt again and lifts it higher, making Hyunjin hold the fabric up to keep it out of the way. As the shirt passes over his nipples and ribs, Felix leans down and kisses the deep curve of Hyunjin’s navel, making him twitch under the touch. Hyunjin wonders if he can taste the rose oil he rubbed into his skin, or if his pores are releasing so many pheromones that the sweetness of honey must be clinging to Felix’s tongue.

"You’re already trembling," Felix whispers. "Just like I remembered."

Hyunjin only lets out a muffled sound, fingers digging into the pillows like that’s the only thing keeping him from falling apart, from melting under the other omega’s body. Felix holds his waist firmly and trails kisses down the center of his abdomen until he gets exactly where he wants to be. Hyunjin’s erection throbs between his parted legs, wet at the tip, an almost innocent contrast to how shamelessly he lies exposed for him.

Felix simply leans down and, with a hot, wet kiss, wraps his lips around the head of Hyunjin’s cock. Hyunjin arches his back, hips caught between the urge to pull away and the need to chase that comforting heat.

Felix’s mouth is heaven, warm, steady, attentive, soft and slick. It’s the mouth of an angel.

The moans escaping Hyunjin’s throat are low, like whispered prayers between clenched teeth. He brings one hand to Felix’s hair, just to be sure he’s really there, between his legs, with that angelic mouth wrapped around his cock, pulsing harder with every movement.

Felix places one hand behind Hyunjin’s right knee and lifts his leg over his shoulder. Hyunjin lets out a muffled sound of surprise. He grips the silky, golden hair, soft as spun silk, and tilts his hips higher, pressing up into Felix’s mouth. He can feel the back of his throat, the vibrations of his voice, the thick lips massaging every inch of hypersensitive skin, every vein, every curve, swallowing the leaking drops of precum without hesitation.

When Felix pulls his mouth away, Hyunjin’s cock is drenched in saliva, glistening. A wet patch stains the sheets where Hyunjin’s slick has mixed with Felix’s drool.

Felix pulls back to get a better look. Lips wet, eyes hungry, face flushed from what he’s just done.

"Feels good, doesn’t it?" he asks, leaning close to Hyunjin’s face. His mouth is so red and glistening that Hyunjin can’t help sticking out his tongue, seeking contact.

Felix grins and does the same, curling his tongue around Hyunjin’s. Then he sucks it into his own mouth, their saliva dripping down their chins.

"Turn over," Felix says, his voice even rougher than before, though still gentle.

Hyunjin hesitates for just a second, maybe from instinctive shame, maybe from the heat burning across every inch of his skin. But then he rolls over, lying on his stomach, arms stretched out over the pillows and legs slightly parted, putting himself under Felix’s scorching gaze.

Felix pulls the shirt back again, leaving his ass even more exposed, round, pale, and slick.

"That’s it," he murmurs, leaning down to massage the soft curve of Hyunjin’s hips, squeezing the flesh between his fingers. "Just like that."

His warm breath grazes bare skin and Hyunjin feels his whole body dissolve. Felix is methodical, careful, and every new place he explores seems to ignite another spark of desire inside him. How is it possible to keep getting more aroused by the second?

And when Felix’s mouth finally reaches exactly where he’d promised, right at Hyunjin’s entrance, already dripping slick like pure, thick honey, he bites the sheet, trying to muffle the cry that catches in his throat.

"This… Oh God… This is a sin," he stammers, voice trembling, remembering, just for a moment, that it’s another omega between his legs, wrecking him.

An omega who smells and tastes like peaches, with soft skin, a slim and delicate body that whimpers for an alpha’s knot during heat… An omega who, in theory, shouldn’t turn him on, who should repulse him, who should be seen as innocent, a companion, a friend.

But Hyunjin sees him as the embodiment of desire and pleasure. So if there’s anything heavenly in the breathless presence above him, making him grind into the sheets, it’s not hell that’s calling, it’s heaven. And Hyunjin, sweetly submissive to the angel who’s undoing him, is ready to sin out of devotion.

Felix lets out a quiet laugh before dragging his tongue slowly around Hyunjin’s entrance and murmuring:

"God made sin to be committed. If we weren’t meant to sin, it wouldn’t exist."

Hyunjin doesn’t answer with words, only desperate moans, his cock grinding against the mattress for more friction. Felix licks in slow circles, pushes his tongue in a few times, then bites the tender swell of Hyunjin’s ass. He whimpers, voice barely a thread, and he swears he can feel tears prick his tightly shut eyes.

Felix parts his cheeks, spreading him wide to get a better look at the way he pulses and leaks. Then, his fingers press gently at his hole, delicate and firm all at once, before sliding inside with ease, slippery and smooth.

"It feels so good," Hyunjin chokes out, voice cracking.

He can’t see Felix’s face, but he knows he’s smiling from the soft sound he makes through his nose.

"It does," Felix replies. "And you know what’s gonna feel even better, Hyun? When I fuck you."

"Fuck me?" Hyunjin swallows the saliva pooling in his mouth as Felix thrusts his fingers in and out rapidly, the wet sound echoing through the room.

"Yeah." Felix leans over him, still fully dressed, and licks the back of his ear. "You want that?"

"Doesn’t it hurt?" Hyunjin asks softly, turning his face slightly so Felix’s kisses can reach his cheek.

"No, Hyun," he assures. "It won’t hurt."

"It always hurts. When he…"

"I know," Felix kisses his lips tenderly. "But it won’t with me. I promise."

"Then I want it," Hyunjin whispers, pushing his hips back for more of Felix’s fingers.

"Of course you do."

Suddenly, Felix pulls his fingers out and kneels behind him. Hyunjin misses the contact and turns to watch.

First, Felix unbuttons the shirt already halfway open, tossing it aside. Then the pants go, and it’s a pleasant surprise to see he’s not wearing anything underneath. Just like Hyunjin, he knew exactly what they were going to do when he stepped into that room.

Felix’s body looks like the statues Hyunjin has seen in museums, slender, with a narrow waist and lean limbs, but with curves in all the right places. His nipples are pink, his skin pearly and smooth like alabaster, fragrant, delicious. His cock is hard, slightly smaller than Hyunjin’s, but no less enticing, and Hyunjin can see slick dripping down his thighs.

"You can handle it, right?" Felix extends a hand toward him, inviting him closer.

Hyunjin nods, licking his lips, suddenly desperate to taste the other omega. He lies on his stomach, face level with Felix’s flushed erection as Felix sits back to make things more comfortable. Hyunjin swallows hard and looks into his eyes, searching for guidance.

"You know what to do," Felix says, stroking his hair out of his face. "Just do what I did to you."

"Okay," Hyunjin nods, parting his lips to wrap them around Felix’s tip.

The deep moan that follows encourages him to keep going. Hyunjin takes him down to the base, feeling him nudge the back of his throat, but the taste is so good it doesn’t bother him. He runs eager hands over Felix’s soft thighs, his knees bracketing Hyunjin’s ears. Felix pants, grips his hair, and pushes him deeper, seeming to crave more and more of his mouth.

"Hyun," he whines, and in those gasping moans, in those trembling touches, he becomes just another omega unraveling in pleasure. "Hyun, your mouth feels so fucking good…"

Hyunjin feels proud, even happy, to hear it. Knowing he’s giving Felix this kind of pleasure fills him with a deep, genuine joy. His heart pounds wildly in his chest like an out-of-control drum. His arousal is overwhelming, but not like sorrow once overwhelmed him. No, this is the kind of burning that devours fear, devours all the gnawing anxieties that plagued him during every day spent apart from Felix.

Now, he’s still burning, but it’s with desire, with pleasure, with life pouring from every pore. Every movement of his mouth, every moan he draws from Felix, is proof that he can still have more than he ever thought he deserved. More than being an omega married to a powerful alpha. More than living locked in a library, surviving only through fiction. In this wet, deep, almost profane surrender, he finds redemption.

Hyunjin lets himself go deeper. He loses himself in the warm texture, the sweet taste of peach. Felix is his altar, and Hyunjin, prostrated before him, doesn’t pray, he worships.

Felix gently tugs his hair back, pulling him away. Hyunjin looks up at him, face flushed and dazed, eyes nearly shut, mouth red and glistening with spit. Felix kisses him quickly, just enough to taste his tongue.

Then, in one swift movement, he lays Hyunjin back down on the mattress. He stays beside him, knees still on the sheets. Hyunjin pants, unsure of what comes next.

"You okay?" Felix murmurs, looking down at him. Hyunjin nods several times.

He’s never been better.

Felix, looking satisfied, climbs on top of him again. But this time, he turns his back to him, arching his body so Hyunjin can see the soft, pale flesh of his ass, and the point where modesty vanishes.

Hyunjin swallows hard, especially when Felix takes his cock back into his mouth and rocks his hips. He’s wet, pink, pulsing, just like him. Never in his life did Hyunjin imagine he’d get this turned on by the sight of another omega’s needy entrance so close to his face. Worse, he never imagined he’d want, so desperately, to put his mouth there.

Felix doesn’t need to say a word, he doesn’t have to. Hyunjin places his hands on his ass and massages the soft flesh, biting his lip at the heat radiating from his skin. Felix slides back farther, still sucking him, until his hips are pressed right against Hyunjin’s face. Hyunjin swallows hard and sticks out his tongue. Probably feeling the heat of his breath, Felix presses back, until Hyunjin tastes the sweet slick on his tongue, the thrilling texture of Felix’s entrance right at the tip.

Felix moans when Hyunjin starts licking that throbbing spot. He feels suffocated for a moment, but the air slipping from his lungs isn’t terrifying, it’s intoxicating.

While Hyunjin’s face is bathed in pure peach nectar, Felix lets his cock hit the back of his throat, then lightly scrapes his teeth down its length.

"Ahhn… Hyun," Felix moans, pulling back just enough to gasp, grinding against his face, making him suck deeper.

Hyunjin circles his tongue around, trying to mimic the same movements Felix had made on him. He tastes amazing, sweet and addicting. His scent gland tingles, releasing his honeyed scent, mixing beautifully with Felix’s peach.

If it’s so wrong, if omegas weren’t made to touch each other like this, to crave each other the way they do, then why do their bodies react like this? Why does Hyunjin feel like he’s about to explode? Why does every fiber of his being beg for more, of Felix’s kiss, his scent, his taste? There’s no rational explanation.

Felix, lost in pleasure, straightens up, pressing his palms to Hyunjin’s thighs, rocking his hips against his mouth, guiding himself. Hyunjin grips his hips, lets him use his mouth and tongue, lets him feel the waves of pleasure coursing through his body, all because of him.

Hyunjin barely notices when Felix lowers himself, settling between his legs, his face flushed, trembling eyes locked on his. Hyunjin’s face is soaked in Felix’s slick, which earns him a tender smile.

Felix reaches for his shirt on the bed and gently wipes Hyunjin’s face. They stare at each other for a moment before leaning in for a soft, lazy kiss.

"Did you like it?" Felix asks softly. Hyunjin nods. "I knew you would. You look like you enjoy sucking cock."

Hyunjin ignores the implication, but takes it as a compliment. He smiles at Felix and wraps his legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

"What are you going to do now?" he whispers against Felix’s face.

They’re so close, skin slick and pressed together, glowing in the candlelight scattered across the room. Ironically, none of those flames burn hotter than they do.

"What do you want me to do?" Felix asks.

"I want…" Hyunjin looks down, hoping Felix understands. Then he remembers, Felix likes when he uses words. He takes a breath and says, "I want you to put it inside me."

"You want me to fuck you, is that it?"

Hyunjin nods, lower lip caught between his teeth.

Felix holds his breath, like those words hit him right in the chest. His eyes search Hyunjin’s, and what he finds there isn’t just lust, desire, or sin anymore, it’s surrender. It’s trust. It’s…

God. It’s pure passion.

"You ready?" Felix asks, his hands sliding along Hyunjin’s parted thighs, seeking confirmation already written in the sweat on his skin, in the gleam in his eyes, in the trembling of his parted lips.

"Yes."

Felix leans in, kissing him again. Sweetness gives way to hunger, a desire boiling and evaporating between them, only to condense and drip back down on their skin.

Felix’s hands move gently, guiding his cock until it touches the warm, pulsing entrance of Hyunjin; wet, welcoming.

As Felix pushes inside, slow, exploring that tight space, Hyunjin arches into him, a muffled sound escaping his lips.

"You’re so warm…" Felix murmurs, eyes locked on the other omega’s face. "So perfect like this…"

Hyunjin grips his shoulders tightly and lets the pleasure spread through him, almost drowning in it. He holds his breath, feeling Felix fully inside him. There’s no pain. He slides in easily, his slick keeping even the slightest discomfort at bay.

It’s so different from an alpha. Felix is thick, but not large, and Hyunjin thinks it’s the perfect size. Even though he tries to push thoughts of Donghyun away, it’s nearly impossible not to compare. With him, it felt like being torn in two, rough, uncomfortable. On their wedding night, Hyunjin could’ve sworn he saw his husband wipe away blood from his own cock after pulling out of him.

It was awful, cruel, almost a violence disguised as marital duty. A ritual that should have been good and pleasurable for a couple, but had left only bloody scars on Hyunjin. He never knew if it hurt more in his body or in his soul, and so now, feeling only pure pleasure, the contrast is impossible to ignore.

With Felix, everything is different. There’s no rush, no brutality. He starts to move slowly, sculpting Hyunjin’s body with his hands. Hyunjin feels his eyes fill with tears, not from pain, but from relief, from tenderness, from something that could almost be called…

(passion)
(love)

Felix brushes away a black strand of hair stuck to Hyunjin’s forehead and smiles softly.

"Felix," Hyunjin moans, feeling him push deeper, his hips rocking in rhythm. "It’s good… it’s so good."

"You deserve to feel only this…" he says, his voice thick with emotion.

Felix is fucking him so well, with such calm, such pleasure. Each time their hips meet, a wet sound echoes, and Hyunjin clutches his shoulders tighter. He thrusts forward, hitting that spot inside Hyunjin that was once found by those short fingers. It’s blissful, dizzying. Hyunjin rolls his eyes back, legs wrapped around Felix’s waist, living sensations he never dreamed possible.

The desperate kiss comes when Felix quickens the pace, thrusting fast inside him, chasing mutual pleasure. They moan into that sweet kiss, Hyunjin grabbing fistfuls of blond hair and tugging in a sign of frantic need for release.

Hyunjin cums hard, unraveling beneath Felix’s body, and it takes only seconds for Felix to follow, spilling deep inside him.

Felix stays inside, both omegas breathing into each other’s mouths, hot breath spilling out like steam. Felix lifts his right hand to Hyunjin’s sweat-drenched hair, brushing damp strands from his forehead and eyes. He smiles wide, perfect teeth showing, eyes nearly disappearing, freckles crinkling with the pull of his skin.

Hyunjin is living the best moment of his life.

"Are you happy?" Felix whispers, his voice deep and low, and the sound of it, along with the feel of his cock still inside, sends shivers down Hyunjin’s entire body.

"I am," he replies. "I’m so, so happy."

"Me too." Felix kisses his lips. "Can I sleep here?"

"Please," Hyunjin whispers, hugging him tight, almost begging him not to leave.

"Okay. I’ll stay."

(please stay
forever)

☾𖤓 

Hyunjin wakes to the first rays of sunlight streaming through the bedroom window.
It’s still early, and he can feel the soft breeze and the scent of garden flowers filling his lungs. He takes a deep breath, drawing in the sweet, familiar fragrance clinging to the sheets, no trace of ginger.
He smiles, eyes still closed, his naked body warm under the covers. He turns to the side, eyelids slowly fluttering open and shut, adjusting to the light.

Each time he opens his eyes, he catches a new detail of Felix’s face. First, the blond hair falling across his shoulders. Then, his closed eyes and delicate lashes. The small nose, the full lips, the freckles scattered across his cheeks…
Hyunjin’s heart fills with peace and relief.
It wasn’t a dream.

He lifts a hand to a strand of Felix’s hair and strokes it gently, smiling at the angelic sight. Felix is so beautiful, so ethereal, the most purely beautiful thing Hyunjin has ever seen in his life.
He could spend hours there, just admiring that face, reliving everything that happened the night before. Felix’s chest rises and falls in a calm rhythm, a soft snore escaping his slightly parted lips. There’s something sacred in that image, Hyunjin is sure of it.

He slides his hand along Felix’s cheek, afraid to wake him but needing to touch him, to confirm he’s real, that this isn’t another daydream. His fingers drift down to his neck, where a faint mark sleeps, Minho’s mark. He stares at it for a few seconds, rejecting it. But just beside it, rosy and fresh, almost purplish, lies a discreet hickey made by Hyunjin.
It’s not a bite, not an official mark, but it’s intimate, possessive. And Hyunjin doesn’t regret it.

The memory of the previous night rushes back like a warm, devastating wave. The touches, the whispered moans, the taste of peach on his tongue, the heat…

Felix stirs slightly, murmuring something Hyunjin doesn’t catch, then opens his eyes. They’re swollen, still wet with sleep, as if he’s just been crying.
Hyunjin smiles at the sight of him so close.

"Hi," Hyunjin whispers.

Felix smiles and stretches, reaching for Hyunjin in a hug. He nestles into the other omega’s arms, receiving a gentle kiss on his hair.

"Good morning," Felix says. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," Hyunjin replies. "Very well."

"Did you dream about your flowers?"

"No," Hyunjin laughs, nuzzling his nose into Felix’s bare chest. "I dreamed about you."

"About me?"

"Mhm."

"And how was it?"

"I… I was painting you."

"That already happened. Wasn’t it just a memory?"

"Of course not," Hyunjin says, frowning at him. "I drew you with charcoal. In the dream, I was using paint."

"Oh, how specific. And what happened after that?"

"Well, I was painting you and then…" Hyunjin’s cheeks flush so red they feel like they might catch fire. "I don’t remember."

"Are you sure?" Felix chuckles, his voice still rough with sleep.

"I am."

"Really?"

"What are you trying to say?"

Felix raises an eyebrow, still grinning, and leans closer. Their noses almost touch, his half-lidded eyes studying every detail.

"Nothing," he whispers. "I just find it curious that you remember the paint, but not what happened next."

Hyunjin looks away, embarrassed, biting his lower lip. His heart pounds erratically, and he wishes he could disappear beneath the sheets.

"Maybe… maybe you kissed me in the dream," he murmurs, hiding his face in the curve of Felix’s neck.

"Hm…" Felix pretends to think, his fingers lazily gliding down Hyunjin’s bare back. "And after the kiss?"

Hyunjin stifles a nervous laugh.

"You’re unbelievable."

"And you’re adorable when you try to lie," Felix whispers against his ear, gently nibbling the lobe. "Good thing I have you awake now."

A shiver runs down Hyunjin’s spine. He presses closer to Felix’s warm body and closes his eyes, smiling.

"I like your awake version a lot more," Hyunjin says. "It actually kisses me."

Felix pulls back just enough to meet his eyes and, with a solemn smile, kisses Hyunjin.

It’s a lazy, tender kiss, flavored with morning. Felix’s lips move slowly against his, like they’ve got all the time in the world.

Hyunjin’s heart warms, beating steadier now, like it knows it’s finally in the right place. Felix’s fingers continue their path along his back, drawing imaginary lines with featherlight touch.

It feels like he’s really painting something onto his skin, like he’s turning the moment into art, just like in Hyunjin’s dream.

Their bodies move closer, melting together, their skin still velvet-soft from sleep. Their tongues meet in calm, sensual strokes, and Hyunjin feels so wholly his that every little touch sparks something inside.

"Mmm…" Hyunjin moans softly, parting his lips as Felix keeps kissing him. "We have to go downstairs… breakfast table…" Each word is interrupted by a kiss pressed to his skin.

"No, we don’t," Felix argues, pulling him closer. "Just a little longer."

"Felix…"

"I love it when you say my name. It sounds beautiful in your voice."

Hyunjin bites his lower lip, eyes half-lidded, cheeks lightly flushed. Felix slides his hips between his, and it’s impossible to ignore how their bodies search for each other, recognize each other, even with the sheets still pulled up to their waists.

"What are you going to do?" Hyunjin whispers, feeling the kisses trail down from his jaw to the curve of his neck.

"I’m just kissing you," Felix murmurs against his skin, sucking slowly on a sensitive spot and pulling a soft gasp from Hyunjin.

Hyunjin’s hands tangle in Felix’s golden hair, and his hips move on their own, chasing more contact.

The friction of their erections is gentle but intense, enough to draw a shared moan from both of them. The heat between them builds again, slow, inevitable, like embers reigniting in the morning sun.

Hyunjin feels Felix’s hardness pressed against his own, slick at the tip. With every movement of their hips, they rub together in a delicious friction that sends shivers through him.

That morning, just like the night before, Hyunjin lets himself savor Felix’s touch, the kisses on his neck, the tongue on his nipples, sucking them like ripe fruit.

He notices how much Felix likes his chest, and that turns him on even more, because they’re such sensitive spots.

They don’t rush. They just touch, hands and fingertips exploring soft skin, while their cocks move together and slick spills behind them.

When they finally come, moaning in unison, their lips are still locked in a kiss, and the sunlight is already shining brighter behind the curtains.

Unfortunately, it’s a reminder that they can’t live beneath those sheets forever, and that reality still waits.

☾𖤓

At the breakfast table, Felix is sitting next to Hyunjin. Seungmin is across from the two of them, and Mina is at the head of the table.

The amount of food that morning is reduced so only the omegas eat, after all, the three alphas in the house are still away.

Unlike the day before, Hyunjin is starving. He’s already had a bowl of fresh fruit, a tall glass of strawberry juice, and now he’s eating a thick slice of orange cake. His eyes are on the savory bread and cheese slices arranged gracefully on small plates. The more he eats, the more his body seems to ask for more. He’s not sure whether it’s because he’s been eating too little over the past month, or because of the physical effort he made the day before, and again that morning, on an empty stomach.

Felix watches Hyunjin with an amused smile, his eyes shining with fascination at every new spoonful or hungry bite. He seems to find it beautiful, the way Hyunjin allows himself to enjoy the food that morning.

"Are you planning to devour the entire table?" he jokes quietly, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

Hyunjin shivers, shooting him a sideways glance, but he can’t hold back a laugh. He swallows the last bite of cake before answering:

"And you? Aren’t you going to eat anything?"

"Can I eat you?"

Hyunjin chokes on a bit of coffee he had just brought to his lips, coughing loudly.

"Is everything alright, dear?" Mina asks, raising a concerned eyebrow.

"No, ma’am," Hyunjin answers too quickly. "I just choked on the coffee."

Mina seems convinced and doesn’t ask any more questions as they continue eating. Seungmin, meanwhile, has his hands resting on his still-flat belly, which shows no bump yet, but soon enough, it will begin to grow day by day. He’s still in the early months of pregnancy, so the signs are subtle, but they’re there. Mina pours him a bit more tea with care, always attentive to any change in her middle child.

"Are you feeling anything, sweetheart?" she asks gently, touching his hand lightly.

"I’m just a little nauseous," Seungmin murmurs, grimacing. "But it’s fine."

Mina nods and glances discreetly at Felix and Hyunjin. She doesn’t seem to notice anything strange, but Hyunjin averts his gaze, embarrassed. His scent is still unbalanced, too sweet, and even though he’s showered, there are still obvious traces of what happened just hours earlier. And Felix… his peach scent is leaking from his scent gland just like his own slick had been not long ago. The mix of the two is unbearable for anyone else in the room.

Hyunjin notices Mina subtly wrinkle her nose, but Seungmin’s nausea and the way he’s almost covering his nose with a napkin make it clear that it’s their fault.

Felix, seemingly realizing the same thing as Hyunjin, brings his fingers to his own gland, but nothing helps.

Then Seungmin bends forward, catching Mina’s attention.

"Sweetheart," she says, worried, and gets up.

Felix and Hyunjin also rise from their chairs, rushing to Seungmin. When the two omegas get closer to him, Seungmin can’t hold back, vomiting everything he’d eaten the day before, since he hasn’t touched anything from breakfast, onto the polished wooden floor.

"Oh, heavens," Mina says, rubbing his back as he vomits. "We need to take him to the doctor."

Felix instinctively pulls Hyunjin a step back, putting distance between them and his brother. Their mixed scent, still strong in the air, clearly isn’t helping.

"I’ll call someone to clean this up," Hyunjin says quickly, trying in some way to be useful.

"Wait," Mina stops him with a firm but gentle gesture. "First, open the windows."

Hyunjin runs to one of the large windows in the dining room and throws it open. A fresh breeze sweeps in, carrying away some of the heavy aroma lingering in the air. Felix does the same on the other side. The scent of spring seems to ease Seungmin’s discomfort a little, but not enough.

Pale and sweaty, Seungmin leans into his mother’s support, breathing heavily. Even with his body weak, his eyes dart back and forth, slightly dazed. Somewhere between the nausea and discomfort, something seems to spark in his awareness, and Hyunjin prays that God hasn’t given that kind of revelation to his brother-in-law.

Seungmin wrinkles his nose again, as if trying to identify exactly what in that nauseating scent mix is making him want to vomit again.

Hyunjin looks away and hugs his arms tightly. This is a risk. Seungmin is an omega like him and Felix, and even pregnant, or maybe because of it, his sense of smell is heightened, sensitive. It’s only a matter of time before he puts the pieces together.

"Felix," Mina calls calmly. "Can you help me take him to the bedroom? Hyunjin, dear, please ask one of the staff to bring clean towels and a bucket."

"Of course," they both say at the same time.

While Felix drapes one of Seungmin’s arms over his shoulders, Hyunjin runs to the kitchen to do what his mother-in-law asked. His heart pounds in his chest, anxious over how careless they’ve been.

When Hyunjin returns to join them and they head down the hallway, Seungmin glances sideways at them. First at Felix, then at Hyunjin, and he furrows his brow again, still nauseated. Even if Seungmin says nothing, something in Hyunjin’s chest warns him, they need to be careful.

☾𖤓

Seungmin insists on not going to the doctor that morning.

Even with Mina repeatedly telling him he needs to take care of his health and the baby’s, he claims it’s just morning sickness, the first of many to come. Still suspicious and worried, she allows her middle child to stay in the room and rest.

It comes as a surprise to Hyunjin, who’s drawing in the living room while Felix helps their mother with some task, when one of the staff members approaches and says Seungmin has asked to see him.

Hyunjin enters the bedroom, and the scent of patchouli fills his nose. A fresh breeze blows in through the window, lighting up the entire room. Seungmin is lying under the covers, reading a book, his blonde hair spilling over the pillows. When he sees Hyunjin enter, he closes the book and sits up.

"Hi," Hyunjin says, fidgeting with his long fingers. Seungmin pulls his lips into a warm smile.

"Hi, Hyunjin." He pats the mattress twice, inviting Hyunjin to sit beside him. "Sit here."

Hyunjin sits where he’s told, one leg folded beneath him. He’s tense. Not because he’s uncomfortable around Seungmin, his brother-in-law is one of the people in that house who most radiates safety, but because of the uncertainty after what happened earlier.

"Did something happen?" Hyunjin asks. "I mean…"

"No, Hyunjin. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Me?" Hyunjin swallows hard. "Sure."

"Well, you know that pregnant omegas feel everything a little more intensely," he says, and Hyunjin nods. "This morning at breakfast, I smelled something really strong. At first, I thought I was just mixing up scents, something from the pregnancy, but then…"

Hyunjin’s shoulders tense. He can’t believe he’s about to hear those words.

"The scent was coming from you and my brother. Together, Hyunjin."

"Seungmin…"

"Wait," Seungmin says, gently squeezing his hand. "Let me finish."

Hyunjin snaps his mouth shut, swallowing down the words that try to escape. His mind races with excuses, justifications to downplay the glaring sin they’re committing in a well-respected family home. His eyes land on Seungmin’s hand wrapped around his, warm and steady. Then, he looks into his eyes, kind and understanding. There’s nothing accusatory there. Still, Hyunjin’s heart beats so loudly it seems to echo in the room.

"I’m not going to judge you," Seungmin continues, his voice as soft as the breeze coming through the window. "Or Felix. I just wanted you to know… I know."

Hyunjin lowers his head. A wave of shame washes over him, and he can’t bring himself to react.

"I-I-I… I don’t know what to say," Hyunjin stammers, searching for words, but nothing feels good enough. Nothing feels right.

"You don’t have to say anything," Seungmin says in the same gentle tone. "I’ve known for a while now."

"What?" Hyunjin looks up at him, clearly shocked by the revelation. "How?"

"A few months ago, I was helping Felix with the wedding stuff, his and Minho's. While I was going through the closet, I found something. It was a drawing of him, in a position that wasn’t exactly decent," he lets out a soft laugh through his nose. "It was drawn in charcoal. Well, Minho can’t even draw stick figures, and Mrs. Haesoo was always complaining about his clothes stained with charcoal. I understood what it meant. Felix always… how can I put this? He’s always been into omegas. From the conversations we had when he visited during high school, he told me he was attracted to both alphas and omegas, and that he’d had sexual experiences with his classmates at boarding school. Then came his aversion to Donghyun, and now, their scents are completely mixed while the alphas are away. I didn’t need to think too hard about it."

Hyunjin feels his whole body freeze. Seungmin’s revelation tears down any defense he might have tried to build. His brother-in-law knows. Has known for months. How could he deny something like that?

"I… had no idea anyone knew," Hyunjin murmurs, his words nearly inaudible. "Much less you."

Seungmin shrugs, as if he’s merely talking about the weather. Still, there’s no irony or judgment on his face, only a quiet maturity that makes Hyunjin feel even smaller for having underestimated him.

"I didn’t tell anyone," Seungmin continues. "Not Mom, not even my husband. I didn’t think it was my place, so I just kept watching. To be honest, Hyunjin, I was worried. Felix… he’s intense. Sometimes it feels like he feels everything too much, and other times, like nothing touches him. I just don’t want you to get hurt."

Hyunjin nods slowly, biting his lower lip.

It’s not something he hasn’t noticed. Felix stormed into his life like a whirlwind. A year ago, he took Hyunjin to heaven in a matter of days. Then left him alone, without a word or way to reach him. When they met again, he pulled away like what they’d done meant nothing. Now, they’ve ascended to paradise once more. But Hyunjin’s greatest fear is that the fall will be too steep.

"So am I," Hyunjin whispers. "I’m scared of that too. Of losing myself in him… and ending up alone after."

Seungmin sighs, leaning back into the pillows.

"You two need to talk. For real, without all this stuff," he waves his hands vaguely, avoiding the need to say exactly what they’ve been doing.

Hyunjin gets it.

Without all the sex.

"You need to know how he feels, Hyunjin. And he needs to know what you want. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with two omegas being together."

Hyunjin’s eyes widen at that statement.

"What?"

"Look," Seungmin says, "even with the traditions, our religion, and everything we’re taught is 'right', there’s nothing strictly wrong about it. I mean, who can command the heart? We don’t choose who we’re drawn to. And besides, I read somewhere that the number of alphas and omegas who get involved with the same subgender has been rising and, quote, 'raising concerns in local society.' What nonsense. It wouldn’t change the life of anyone who’s not directly involved."

"I… I’ve never heard anyone say it like that," Hyunjin stammers, his gaze lost on the white quilt of the soft bed. "Never heard someone say there’s nothing wrong with it."

Seungmin smiles and tilts his head. There’s so much tenderness in that gentle look that Hyunjin understands why Changbin is so in love with him.

"That’s because most people are afraid, Hyunjin. Afraid of what they don’t understand, and afraid of losing control. But that doesn’t mean they’re right."

Hyunjin runs a hand through his hair, uneasy and yet relieved at the same time.

"I grew up being told that omegas should have self-respect," he says, voice a little louder, a little firmer. "That we should find good alphas and that nature made us whole. My mom used to say an alpha and an omega were made for each other, that the mark on our neck meant we were theirs. She said I’d understand everything once I got married, once I had my first heat with my husband… I believed that. I believed it so much that when it didn’t work, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me."

Seungmin watches him closely, his eyes glistening with compassion.

"You don’t… like alphas?" Seungmin asks.

Hyunjin pauses, finally acknowledging something he’s always known deep down. He slowly shakes his head.

"I can’t stand their scent," Hyunjin says. "Their touch, their breath, even the thought of going through a heat with an alpha makes me nauseous. I dread the night, Seungmin. I dread the night when I have to wait for Donghyun in bed. I close my eyes and pray to God for it to be over quickly. I can’t… I can’t feel anything. At first, I thought it was just with him. I thought maybe, since I didn’t love him, I had developed this aversion. But no. God, I’m sorry, but even Changbin’s scent is too much for me."

Seungmin doesn’t answer right away. He simply watches Hyunjin with an expression of deep understanding, eyes glowing with empathy.

"You don’t have to apologize for that," he says at last, his voice low and steady. "What you feel, or don’t feel, isn’t wrong. You’re not wrong for being who you are, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin lets out a shaky breath, as if those words have unlocked something inside him.

"I thought I was sick. That there was something really wrong with me for not being able to... for not wanting what’s expected of me."

"You’re not sick. You’re finally listening to yourself." Seungmin squeezes his hand a little tighter. "We spend so much time trying to fit into expectations that we don’t even notice when we start erasing ourselves. You’re just figuring out who you are, Hyun, and that’s brave."

Hyunjin swallows hard. The confession carries a weight he’s never allowed himself to voice, and now that he does, he realizes just how much he’s needed to be heard. He breathes in the fresh scent of patchouli in the air and feels his chest fill with comfort.

"I only feel whole when I’m with him," he admits in a barely audible whisper. "When Felix looks at me, when he touches me, I don’t feel afraid. All I feel is... relief."

Seungmin closes his eyes for a moment, letting each word sink in.

"Then live whole, Hyun," Seungmin says. "Let yourself live without missing a piece of yourself."

"How?" Hyunjin squeezes his eyes shut, the weight of reality crashing down. "In this house? With all the alphas watching us all the time? With a mark on my neck and one on his? How can we live like that?"

"That’s why I’m going to help you," Seungmin says firmly, leaning back into the pillows with some effort. "There’s a tea that helps mask pheromones. It’s not foolproof, but it works well enough for a few hours. I usually take it when I’m close to heat and need to go into town. My mom hates it, says it’s unnatural, but I think that’s nonsense. I’ll make it for you and Felix."

Hyunjin stares at him in surprise, the weight on his shoulders suddenly lighter.

"Really?" Hyunjin asks.

"Yes. You can trust me."

"Seungmin, I... I don’t even know how to..."

"You don’t have to," he says with a small smile. "Just promise me you’ll be careful. And more than that, that you’ll talk honestly. Even if what you feel is real, you can’t live this risk just for the sake of desire. Know what you want, and then live what’s meant to be lived."

"Alright," Hyunjin nods, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I will."

Then, to Hyunjin’s surprise, Seungmin pulls him into a hug. His scent is stronger now, even sweeter, and Hyunjin’s nose itches briefly, but not from discomfort. He hugs him back and murmurs more thanks.

In the midst of so many doubts and fears, it’s good to have someone to trust.

It’s good, finally, to have a friend.

☾𖤓

Hyunjin sits on the couch by the large window, gazing out at the sunset over the tree-lined horizon. Felix is at the other end of the couch, legs stretched out with a book open in his lap, but Hyunjin doubts he’s actually reading. Facing each other like that, it’s easy to notice the way Felix arches his brows, those little sideways smiles, and how he stretches his legs just enough for his bare feet to brush against Hyunjin’s thighs.

"Stop that," Hyunjin says in warning.

"Stop what?" Felix closes the book, placing it on his chest. His right foot, soft and deliberate, rubs right between Hyunjin’s legs, making him sigh.

"That. Stop it right no..."

"They’re here!"

Seungmin’s loud, cheerful voice echoes through the mansion along with the sound of his feet hitting the stairs. Felix and Hyunjin quickly straighten up on the couch, watching as Seungmin opens the grand front door.

Hyunjin’s throat goes dry. His stomach turns. The mischievous smile he shared with Felix fades completely.

At the door: Changbin, Minho, Kangho, and of course, Donghyun. The alphas are back.

Hyunjin feels disappointed. He thought the trip would last at least two weeks, but in just five days, they’re home again. He glances at Felix, who wears the same disappointed look.

When he looks back at Seungmin, the omega is wrapped around his husband’s neck, planting kisses all over his face while Changbin holds him tightly. How wonderful it must be, Hyunjin thinks, to love and be loved like that. How wonderful it must be to hold and kiss Felix that way in front of everyone.

They all begin walking into the living room. Hyunjin forces a smile and stands up, as does Felix.

"Hi, darling," Minho says first, walking over to Felix and pulling him into a hug.

Felix wraps his arms around Minho’s shoulders and, over his shoulder, locks eyes with Hyunjin. He mouths a soft, inaudible "sorry," but Hyunjin just lowers his gaze.

Then Donghyun, just like the others, and like his father, who’s already disappeared into the house looking for Mina, walks over to him. The alpha gently pulls Hyunjin by the waist and kisses him on the lips. Hyunjin swallows a sigh of rejection.

"I missed you," Donghyun says, running his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair.

Hyunjin sniffs. It’s not the ginger scent that bothers him now, nor the cigars his husband religiously smokes. It’s something else. Something sweet.

Hyunjin smiles, or tries to. It’s a cold smile, stiff at the corners. He mutters something like "me too," but even he can barely hear his own voice.

Across the room, Changbin continues stroking Seungmin’s hair as the omega chatters about the days they spent apart. The two sit on the couch, and Seungmin lies against his shoulder.

"We brought gifts," Changbin announces, drawing the attention of the other couples.

"Really?!" Seungmin beams, squeezing his biceps. "What?!"

"After dinner."

"Oh, come on! Why tell us now then?"

"Because it’s adorable seeing you excited for presents, my love."

"Don’t tease me like that, you know I’m..." Changbin widens his eyes at him, clearly reminding Seungmin that Donghyun and Minho still don’t know about the pregnancy. "...I’m... missing you."

Felix stifles a laugh in his throat and pretends to scratch his nose. Hyunjin, who’s been watching the silent exchange between Changbin and Seungmin more closely than he wants to admit, quickly looks away when he feels Donghyun’s fingers sliding from his waist to his clammy hand.

"Shall we go upstairs?" Donghyun asks, already interlacing their fingers. "I want to shower and lie down with you for a bit." He leans in closer to Hyunjin’s neck and whispers, "I missed your skin."

The mention of the word "skin" sends chills through Hyunjin’s entire body, and not in a good way. It’s like a cold breeze has passed beneath his shirt. He smiles without showing teeth and nods.

"Sure... I’m just going to get some water first," he murmurs, gently slipping his hand from Donghyun’s like someone freeing a hair caught on a button.

"I’m thirsty too," Felix says, almost as if it’s been rehearsed.

They meet in the kitchen. The muffled sound of Seungmin and Changbin’s laughter still drifts in from the living room, but here, in this space lit only by the warm light filtering through the windows, everything feels a little clearer.

Hyunjin walks to the sink, pretending to look for a glass, while Felix leans against the counter, arms crossed, eyes sharp.

"They came back too soon," Felix says first, voice low. "They usually stay gone for at least a week."

Hyunjin gives a sad smile as he finally finds a glass.

"Yeah. I... wasn’t ready for them to come back today."

"Me neither," Felix replies. "Are you okay?"

Hyunjin looks at him for a moment. It’s a simple question, but it hits somewhere far too raw.

"No," Hyunjin answers. "But I fake it well, don’t I?"

"Not even a little."

Hyunjin lets out a faint chuckle and looks down at the half-full glass in his hand.
"I wish I could stop trembling when he touches me. I wish I could lie better. I wish…"

"Hey, slow down," Felix cuts in, stepping forward to touch his arms. "Seungmin said he would help, didn’t he? We just have to hold on."

"That’s easy for you," Hyunjin pulls away from the other omega’s touch, turning his back to him. "You like alphas. You like sleeping with your husband."

"Hyunjin!" Felix sounds offended, saying his name a little louder.

"I’m not lying, Felix," he turns to him again, his eyes now brimming with tears. "For me, every night with Donghyun is torture, while for you…"

"You think I’m comfortable with this now? After everything that happened, Hyunjin?"

"I’m not talking about now, but…"

"What happened before doesn’t matter. Just because I’m also attracted to alphas doesn’t mean I’m doing any better than you in this situation."

Felix sighs, running a hand down his face like he’s trying to wipe away more than just fatigue.
Hyunjin, seeing him like that, feels the bitter taste of regret slide down his throat. The words that came out weren’t fair to him, not even true. They were just soaked in anguish, like arrows fired in a desperate moment.
Hyunjin clenches the glass between his fingers, and his voice comes out quieter, trembling.

"I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said that," Hyunjin shakes his head slowly. "It’s not fair. I’m not mad at you."

Felix doesn’t answer immediately. He just looks at him, like he’s waiting for him to continue, to finally reveal where all that pain is coming from.

"I just wish I didn’t have to do this," Hyunjin follows the unspoken request of the other omega. "I wish I could keep sleeping with you like I have these past few days, breathing in your scent and… Felix…"

Hyunjin squeezes his eyes shut, curling into himself. Felix clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and pulls him into an embrace.

"Shh," Felix soothes, holding him.
Even though Hyunjin is taller, in that moment, he feels tiny in Felix’s arms.

"We’ll figure something out, yeah?" Felix murmurs.

"Yeah," Hyunjin nods, fighting back tears. "Yeah, just… I’m sorry."

"It’s okay," Felix cups his face, placing a soft kiss on lips wet with tears. "Meet me in the library after Donghyun falls asleep. He’s a heavy sleeper, isn’t he?"

"Like a horse," Hyunjin can’t help but laugh. "I’ll be there."

Hyunjin would always be there for Felix.

☾𖤓

Hyunjin tenses up when, during dinner that night, he feels a warmth on his thigh.

He’s seated with Felix to his left and, on his right, Donghyun, who’s chatting about something with his father. Just as Hyunjin raises his fork to his mouth, Felix’s sly, teasing hand slides over his skin, even through the fabric of his clothes, subtly. All the while, he smiles in response to some compliment Minho gives him, something about how his eyes have a different glow.

Hyunjin grows nervous, swearing he feels a bead of sweat sliding down his forehead. He forces a timid smile when Donghyun asks if he’s okay and nods, swallowing a bite of rice.

Felix’s touch, subtle and persistent, doesn’t stop. His fingers trace small circles on Hyunjin’s thigh, as if there’s nothing else in the world but that spot hidden under the linen tablecloth draping over the table, masking the discreet movements.

Hyunjin’s muscles tighten, his shoulders too stiff, spine locked as though the slightest movement might snap it. He doesn’t dare move, stuck between two choices: stop Felix’s hand or risk someone noticing what he’s doing.

"Are you feeling hot?" Donghyun asks, giving him a sharp look.

"A little," Hyunjin replies, nearly choking on his own saliva. "I think we should always have dinner with the windows open."

Donghyun nods, returning to his conversation with his father about the upcoming winter’s harvest. Beside them, Minho laughs at something Changbin says, and Seungmin shakes his head with amusement, leaning against his husband’s shoulder as he listens. The whole table seems to revolve around the joy of having the alphas back home, the sense of normalcy Hyunjin wishes had never returned.

Felix, on the other hand, keeps his eyes low, as if focused on spearing some vegetable with theatrical precision. His smile still plays at the corner of his lips, and his fingers never stop moving on Hyunjin’s leg.

Hyunjin bites the inside of his cheek, caught in a mess of fear and desire, when Felix squeezes his erection through his pants. He wants to shove the hand away and keep it there all at once. He wants to scream, to laugh, to be free enough to return the daring gesture.

"Hyunjin," says Minho, drawing his attention. "You look a little different, just like Felix. More… alive, maybe. What have you two been up to while we were away?"

Felix quickly withdraws his hand, and Hyunjin feels the loss like a wave of disappointment.

"Nothing special," Hyunjin replies, clearing his throat. "Maybe… I’ve just been sleeping a little better."

Felix lets out a quiet giggle and takes a sip of his wine without lifting his eyes. Minho raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Omegas really do sleep more and better when their alphas aren’t around," he laughs, sipping his wine. "If you know what I mean."

"Well, I can barely sleep without Changbin next to me," says Seungmin, clinging to his arm. "By the way… We have something to share."

Hyunjin tries to ignore the erection in his pants, stirred by Felix at the worst possible moment. He fixes his gaze on Seungmin and Changbin, both wearing beautiful smiles.

"This news is very special," says the alpha. "I’m sure you’ll like it."

The omegas, who already know what’s coming, smile, while the alphas look serious and expectant. Kangho, a little grumpy, asks them to just say it already. Seungmin clears his throat to grant his father’s request.

"I’m expecting a pup," Seungmin says, resting a hand lightly over his belly. Changbin closes his eyes and smiles from ear to ear, so happy he looks like he might sprout wings and fly across the dining room. 

"I’m pregnant."

Kangho’s lips part as a huge smile forms across his face. He claps twice and rises from his chair, going to the couple. They both stand to receive his congratulations.

"My son," he says, holding the omega’s hands. "You’re really going to give me my first grandchild."

"Yes, dad," Seungmin replies. "Isn’t it wonderful?"

"It’s fantastic," Kangho beams, already settling back in his seat. "I’ve always dreamed of seeing our family line grow, and to know it’ll come from the two of you…" he sighs, visibly moved. "I couldn’t be happier."

Everyone at the table smiles, as if the news has brought even more light to the family. Changbin leans forward, gazing at Seungmin with teary eyes, and even Minho raises a discreet toast to the couple after the congratulations.

Hyunjin, however, still feels the blush burning his cheeks and the stiff discomfort in his pants. He presses his knees together, trying to push Felix out of his mind, but all it takes is a glance to his left and there he is: calm, serene, eyes downcast and cheeks slightly flushed. It’s as if he hasn’t done anything at all, as if he’s not the one responsible for every shiver still running through Hyunjin’s body, even minutes later.

"This makes me think," Donghyun says after the toast, breaking the silence. He turns to Hyunjin with a calm yet firm smile. "Maybe we should start thinking about that too, don’t you think?"

Hyunjin freezes. His fork stalls mid-air, and the forced smile he’s been holding falls apart completely. 

His heart jumps in his chest, uncomfortable, especially when he feels Felix stiffen beside him too.

"Having kids?" he echoes, like he needs to make sure he heard right.

"Yes," Donghyun nods naturally. "You’re healthy, we’re in a good place… And I’ve always wanted to be a father." His hand searches for Hyunjin’s under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. Hyunjin thanks God he doesn’t find Felix’s instead. "Besides, we should make the most of the beginning of our marriage."

Hyunjin swallows hard.

To the left, Felix keeps his eyes fixed on his own glass and stays completely still. He doesn’t say a word, but his expression changes. The blush on his cheeks vanishes, replaced by a pale, tense stillness that gives away his discomfort.

"I…" Hyunjin tries, but the words won’t come. He feels the stares directed at him, but it’s as if he’s completely alone. "I think it would be… Hm… Great."

He bites the inside of his cheeks and quickly takes a bite of creamed corn. He doesn’t want to talk anymore.

Felix lets out a short, bitter laugh and downs the rest of his wine in one gulp, getting up without saying a thing.

A heavy silence settles over the dining room, but no one dares to be the first to speak.

Faced with the tension, Changbin clears his throat, drawing everyone’s attention.

"Well, I think it’s time for presents."

Great, Hyunjin thinks, another useless necklace to add to my pile of useless things.

☾𖤓

Felix is on his knees on the wooden floor of the library. Hyunjin stands, leaning against one of the reading tables, one bare leg draped over Felix’s shoulders as he sucks him deep and thrusts his middle and ring fingers inside him.

His vision blurs, sweat dripping from his body as Felix keeps ruining him.

When they got to the library, after their alphas fell asleep, all they did was kiss feverishly, no space for words. Clothes were tossed aside and Felix worships him the way he always does, kissing his neck, sucking his nipples. Hyunjin goes down on him too, on that thick, hard cock and right between the soft cheeks of his ass, smearing himself with that peachy taste. In the end, Felix ends up on his knees with Hyunjin in his mouth and his fingers buried inside him, while Hyunjin bites down on his own fist so the moans won’t be heard.

"What would your husband say?" Felix murmurs, voice low and thick with malice. He rises to his feet, fingers still inside Hyunjin, now with one leg wrapped tightly around his waist. "What would he think if he knew you moan like this for me? How would he feel knowing I can make you squirm with just my fingers while his dick is completely useless?"

Hyunjin gasps, gripping the edge of the table like it’s the only thing holding him up. His body trembles, and the mention of his husband in the middle of that filth sends a shiver through him, a wicked mix of shame and desire.

"He wants to put pups in your belly," Felix goes on, his eyes glowing under the dim candlelight of the library. "And all I can think about is your body pulsing around my tongue, begging for more and more and more…"

Hyunjin shuts his eyes tight, biting down on his lower lip. Felix’s fingers are still deep inside, sliding in and out at a rhythm that’s both delicious and maddening. His breathing comes in short, erratic bursts, sometimes stopping entirely, only to restart with a gasp of radiant pleasure flooding his lungs.

"Felix…" he tries to scold him, but his own voice betrays him, sounding more like a moan of lust than any form of protest.

"You said it would be great," the other omega whispers, pulling Hyunjin’s leg tighter around his waist. "Are you really going to give Donghyun a child?"

Hyunjin moans, muffled, and grabs at Felix’s blond hair, yanking hard like it might help him reclaim some control. Everything burns, and his husband’s name feels as distant as the decency they left behind with that first kiss by the lake a year ago.

Felix smiles against his skin.

"Hm?" he asks. "You’re gonna have my brother’s baby?"

"No," Hyunjin moans in return. "I’d rather… Ah, Felix…" He bites his lips when Felix twists his fingers, making him see stars. "I’d rather die than give birth to his child."

At that, Felix bites Hyunjin’s mouth, kissing him like a man starved and his lips the only sustenance. He pushes his fingers in harder, the moans dying against Felix’s mouth, eyes clenched and brimming with tears. His body burns, burns just like it always does when Felix is near.

Hyunjin wants to drink Felix’s spit, devour every inch of that soft skin, bathe in his fresh blood. That way, he could be Felix, just like Felix could be Hyunjin, in every meaning and every possible way.

Having him so close is no longer enough. Hyunjin wants more of Felix, more of that heavenly angel, more of that devil who destroys him and then molds him back together like clay with those warm hands. Hyunjin wants everything from him, the kisses, the touches, the heavy breaths against his mouth, the sweet nectar dripping down his legs. Hyunjin wants to live for him, die for him, rise from the dead for him, because life only feels like living when he’s in the arms of the omega he loves.

And Hyunjin loves Felix
(madly
desperately)

His breath catches and Hyunjin comes, their cocks grinding between them as Felix keeps fucking his ass with those short, determined fingers.

When they finally stop, Hyunjin lets out a low noise of discomfort at the sudden emptiness. Felix lifts his slick fingers to his lips and swirls his tongue around them. Hyunjin watches the obscene but beautiful gesture, those parted lips panting for breath, his chest rising and falling, legs still trembling, one of them wrapped around the other omega’s waist.

"You taste divine," Felix says, licking his lips.

Hyunjin smiles and kisses him quickly. His senses start to return one by one, and his vision begins to clear.

After getting dressed, they sit on the library floor, hidden behind one of the shelves filled with books. They look at each other with a half-smile tugging at both their lips. Felix sits on Hyunjin’s lap, facing him, but at that moment, nothing about it is sexual. It’s all tenderness and affection.

"Did Donghyun come looking for you?" Felix asks, brushing the sweat-damp hair off Hyunjin’s forehead.

Hyunjin nods slowly, remembering just moments earlier when he went to the room with the alpha.

"He… wanted to lie down with me," he says. Felix sighs, like he expected it. "I told him I had a headache."

"And he bought it?" Felix asks.

Hyunjin shakes his head again, eyes lowered like the weight of that lie is heavier than the exhaustion from his orgasm.

"He did," he murmurs. "But he’s not going to believe me forever. I can’t say I’m in pain every night."

Felix brushes the tip of his nose against Hyunjin’s cheek, offering comfort before whispering:

"We’ll figure something out."

"Really?"

"Yes," he says again, with a faint smile. "I know he’s your husband. I have mine too, but…"

"I don’t know if I can do this anymore." Hyunjin clutches tightly at Felix’s shirt.

"Listen, Hyun," Felix says, his tone more serious now. "We have to be strong, okay? After everything that’s happened in the last few days, I don’t know how we’re going to carry the burden of these marks on our necks, but we will."

"Do we really have to keep sleeping with them?" he buries his face into Felix’s neck.

Felix doesn’t answer right away. Hyunjin’s arms wrap tighter around his waist, as if asking that question means he already knows the answer and is just trying to run from it for a little longer. His breath is hot against Felix’s skin, wet, desperate, and stifled.

"I want to say no," he murmurs at last, his voice low and hoarse. "That we can give everything up and run away, but you know it’s impossible."

Hyunjin stays where he is, face buried in Felix’s neck, like it’s the only place in the world he can still breathe.

"It’s unbearable," Hyunjin says. "To lie next to him, to smell him, to pretend I care when all I want to do is throw up."

Felix runs his fingers through Hyunjin’s dark hair, a slow, patient gesture.

"I know," he says after a few seconds. "Minho is kind to me, considerate, but he doesn’t touch me like you do. He doesn’t look at me like you look at me. He doesn’t make me feel the way you make me feel."

Hyunjin lifts his gaze to meet his, lashes heavy with unshed tears.

"What is this, then?"

Felix smiles, and his smile is as melancholy as the waning moon shining beyond the windows of the mansion.

"What do you think it means?"

Hyunjin knows.
He knows, without a doubt. That’s the answer Seungmin probably hopes he’ll find, the one he asked Hyunjin to search for in a serious conversation with Felix.
What kind of conversation do they need if everything they want to say is already being spat out in a single exchange of glances?

The silence that follows is long and heavy, and Hyunjin feels like he’s losing himself in the sound of Felix’s unsaid words.

"You know," Felix says, barely above a whisper.

Hyunjin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. This is it. This is exactly it. They know.

Felix leans away slightly, just enough to reach into a small pocket of his pants. His hand searches carefully, his fingers grazing something small, and soon he pulls out two small yellowed cloth pouches tied with string. They’re slightly damp from body heat and carry a strong scent of dried herbs.

Hyunjin watches them with a puzzled expression, eyes still glistening.

"What is this?" he asks, his voice raspy.

Felix places the pouches in Hyunjin’s hands, like a gift.

"Natural contraceptives," he explains. "Remember what I said at your engagement party? Well, I buy them from a caretaker in town. She’s discreet and reliable."

Hyunjin looks at the pouches as if he’s holding hope in tangible form.

"This is because…"

"Because Donghyun said he wants kids," Felix cuts in firmly, the memory of Minho’s words at dinner flashing back. "Minho wants them too, so I’ve been taking this for a long time. He doesn’t know."

Hyunjin grips the pouches tightly, his stomach twisting.

"Does it work?"

"Yes, you can trust it," Felix answers sweetly, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Take one every night before bed. If you can’t avoid him, at least avoid the consequences."

Hyunjin swallows hard, eyes fixed on his trembling hands.

"Is it wrong?" he whispers. "To keep them from having a child? From… God, having a normal life with their mates?"

Felix smiles sadly, as if that question hits him deep in the soul.

"Nothing that preserves who we are can be wrong, Hyun. Nothing that keeps us from being imprisoned by a fate we didn’t choose. This isn’t selfishness, it’s just survival."

Hyunjin breathes deeply and nods. He trusts Felix. He trusts him more than anyone else in the world.

That night, the kiss they share before returning to their respective rooms isn’t just to taste each other’s mouths. In that kiss, they seal a promise: that no matter how hard it is to let others touch their bodies, their hearts will always belong to one another.

☾𖤓

Donghyun decides to build the greenhouse where Hyunjin can care for his plants the day after nearly making him give up everything and run back to the Hwangs’ coffee farm.

On a typical night, Hyunjin lies in bed, legs stretched out, the blankets over his body. His eyes are fixed on the ceiling, he wouldn’t have even noticed the alpha sinking into the mattress beside him if not for the scent of ginger. First, he runs his hands over Hyunjin’s thighs beneath the covers. Hyunjin pulls away, saying he’s sore from the night before, when he couldn’t come up with a convincing excuse to avoid him, and that he doesn’t feel up to fulfilling his marital duties (as he and Felix have started calling them). Donghyun scoffs, says he’s stressed from work and needs to relax. Hyunjin insists, and the most he gets is Donghyun, for the first time, asking him to use his mouth.

Hyunjin goes pale, nearly faints just from hearing the alpha’s words, but he has no choice. Felix always says he looks like he enjoys sucking. Well, he actually does. Felix is sweet, soft, and fits perfectly in his mouth. He’d spend hours between his legs, drenched in his peach-scented nectar. But when the bitter taste of Donghyun floods his tongue, he clenches his eyes shut and tries to think of nothing.

He lies there, Donghyun’s thighs pressing against his body, his throat aching each time he’s forced to take him deep. He’s grateful he’s quick (he always is), and when Donghyun finishes on his tongue, he’s forced to swallow. As soon as he’s free, he rolls to the side, coughing desperately, his stomach churning with nausea and the bitter taste coating his entire mouth.

The alpha approaches, touching his back, but Hyunjin keeps coughing, his torso hanging off the edge of the bed. Drool spills, soaking the floor, but all Hyunjin wants is to get rid of that sour taste, the clinging scent, and every trace of those few minutes.

Unable to stop it, he vomits his dinner at the edge of the bed. Donghyun tries to help, but Hyunjin pushes his hands away and runs to the bathroom alone.

Then, as if weighed down by guilt for causing that, Donghyun builds the greenhouse he had once promised.

Weeks pass.
Hyunjin endures the marriage the way one endures a long winter with no sign of spring. He keeps smiling at dinners, attends events with the alpha (which always end with Felix fingering him somewhere in the shadows), and pretends his life is perfect.

When the greenhouse is finished, Hyunjin begins spending hours inside it, pretending his only concern is whether his roses will bloom beautifully. In truth, as much as he loves talking to his plants, he uses that space to escape reality. Nothing makes sense when he’s not with the other omega, even though he tries hard to make it all worth it for Felix: the loveless hands that touch him, the bed that isn’t his, the ginger scent clinging to his skin…

They meet however and whenever they can. Sometimes in the library, other times in the greenhouse. All it takes is a look, a crumpled note tucked inside a shirt sleeve, a half-hearted excuse for a walk in the garden. And there, among fertilized plants or dusty books, their bodies come together like the world doesn’t exist, like they’re free of all the chains they’ve long been forced to wear.

When they’re finally together, Felix kisses Hyunjin like he’s trying to pull every ounce of pain from him, while Hyunjin touches Felix as if trying to memorize every inch before it’s torn from him without warning. There’s no more guilt. No more fear. Just the soft sounds of breathing, the muffled moans, the disjointed whispers only they can understand.

"I hate this," Hyunjin says one time, his face pressed to Felix’s chest, the two of them hidden beneath a white blanket in the greenhouse. "I hate only having you in borrowed minutes."

"I do too," Felix replies, kissing the top of his head.

They’re sweaty, their scents softened by the tea Seungmin always makes them drink, but even so, the smell of honey blends with the peach.

"My heat’s coming," Hyunjin confesses. "Just a few more weeks and..."

"Shhh." Felix kisses his lips, silencing him. "I won’t let you go through it with him."

"How?" Hyunjin props himself on his elbow to face the other omega. "How are you going to stop my husband from going through my heat with me?"

"Do you trust me?" Felix asks.

Hyunjin does. More than anything.

Of course he trusts him
(he loves him).

"I trust you," Hyunjin says, lying back down on Felix’s chest.

One day before Hyunjin’s heat, Minho and Donghyun have to travel to the capital. Hyunjin doesn’t know what Felix did, but when he sees the smug little smile on his face after the alphas announce they’re leaving, he knows there’s a hand (if not both) of that omega behind it.

Without his alpha, Hyunjin spends three days in his room, drinking suppressant teas that keep him asleep most of the time. When he wakes, Felix is always there. No one finds it strange, an omega caring for another during a heat without an alpha. From what he hears, Felix tells everyone he’s helping Hyunjin not suffer too much in his husband’s absence. Hyunjin doesn’t even remember he’s married.

Felix kisses every inch of him during his lucid moments, sucks on his sensitive nipples, his cock that won’t soften, his entrance that pulses, begging to be filled. Felix fucks him with his fingers, his cock, both at once, anything to keep Hyunjin from responding to his body’s call for an alpha’s knot during heat.

Maybe it’s instinct, but Hyunjin whispers the filthiest things to Felix those days.

"Cum inside me," he says while Felix is deep inside him, between his legs. "I want you to fill me with pups."

"How many?" Felix asks, brushing his nose along Hyunjin’s chin, panting, sweaty, his eyes glassy with pleasure. "Two? Three?"

Hyunjin moans and pulls his hair, forcing him to meet his eyes.

"As many as you want," he answers hoarsely. "Just don’t pull out. Please. Stay. Stay until it’s over."

Felix moans softly, pressing deeper, his hands gripping Hyunjin’s waist. The room is hot, the sheets a mess, Hyunjin’s sweet scent saturating the air, it’s nearly impossible to keep a clear head with an omega in heat in the same space.

"I’m not going anywhere," Felix says between kisses, his tongue tracing down the sweaty neck, over the sensitive scent gland. "I’ll stay till the end, until you can’t take it anymore. Until I hear you say you’re mine."

Hyunjin gasps, his whole body trembling under his touch.

"I’m yours, Felix. I’m only yours."

Felix closes his eyes for a moment, as if trying to hold back the wave of emotion threatening to break him. But Hyunjin is like high tide: he floods everything, fills every corner of that room and his heart, pulling him under completely.

When it’s over, it feels like bluebirds sing at his window every morning. He’s radiant.

But, eventually, Donghyun comes back.

His life resumes.

And there’s nothing to do but accept it.

☾𖤓

Seungmin’s belly grows by the day, and Hyunjin starts to believe he might just burst at some point. While reading in the sitting room, enjoying the view from the window, he watches fondly as Seungmin knits tiny blue booties for the baby, with Changbin humming a melody and signing documents beside him.

Watching their love feels good. Hyunjin likes the scent of patchouli that lingers on the other omega, and the way he can even catch a hint of lavender, probably coming from the little pup. It's comforting to know that at least someone in that mansion has a happy marriage.

That winter afternoon, Hyunjin finds it odd when Felix comes down the stairs with a suspicious expression. He glances at Seungmin and jerks his chin. Seungmin nods and tugs Changbin out of the room, whispering something in his ear that makes the alpha smile wide. Left alone, Hyunjin closes his book and looks up at the other omega, who is now standing.

“We’re going to the lake", Felix says.

“What?” Hyunjin laughs.

“The lake with the hot springs. You know", he leans in to whisper against Hyunjin’s cheek, “the one where I kissed your neck and you completely fell for me.”

“Oh, stop being so full of yourself!” Hyunjin smacks his thigh with the book, making him laugh.

Felix laughs out loud, his eyes sparkling like the clear sky outside, and steals a kiss before Hyunjin can stop him. It’s brief, but enough to send a shiver down his spine.

“Come on, get up. Let’s go before it gets too late", Felix says, wearing a crooked smile that contradicts every word.

“How are we supposed to leave like this, on our own?”

“I told my brother and Minho we were going to the seamstress in town.”

“You told them that?” Hyunjin’s eyes widen. “You lied!”

“When do I not?”

“To me, I hope you always tell the truth.”

“You’re different from them", Felix says, pulling him to his feet. “I want to spend some time with you outside this house.”

Hyunjin is still trying to hide the flush in his cheeks, but the late afternoon chill isn’t strong enough to mask the warmth that smile always stirs in him. He mutters something even he doesn’t understand and sets the book down on the sofa, grabbing the shawl to wrap around his neck.

“What if the coachman says we didn’t go into town?”
 

“I sent him to buy fabric and gave him a generous tip. He’ll keep quiet.”
 

“You’re impossible", Hyunjin laughs, shaking his head.
 

“You want to go too, just admit it.”

“Fine", Hyunjin sighs. “But promise me you won’t run and leave me alone if an animal shows up in the woods.”

“Hmm", Felix pretends to think. “Alright, unless it’s a wolf.”

“There are no wolves in this region.”

“You never know, Hyun", he taps Hyunjin’s cheek with his finger.

☾𖤓

The woods seem quieter that winter afternoon. Hyunjin walks beside Felix through the dry leaves carpeting the ground, their steps muffled by the damp earth. The scent of pine and moss rises from the soil along with the light mist at their feet, and sunlight filters through the branches, casting long shadows along the path.

Hyunjin hugs his arms to his body, the shawl snug over his shoulders, while Felix walks calmly ahead. There’s something steady in the way he moves, a step or two ahead, sometimes doubling back just to help Hyunjin through steeper parts, always with that subtle smile at the corner of his lips.

“You know", Felix says after a few minutes of silence, “when I was little, I used to think these trees could talk to each other, the same way you think your plants talk to you.”

Hyunjin glances around, eyes alert.

“Really? And do you still think that?”

“No. Otherwise, I’m sure they’d be spilling secrets about people like us.”

“People like us?” Hyunjin smiles, squeezing Felix’s small hand.

Felix turns his face, walking backward for a moment just to meet his eyes.

“People who live in ways we’re not supposed to. People who need places like this to hide.”

Hyunjin doesn’t respond, but his fingers press gently against Felix’s.

They keep walking. The trail narrows between bushes and lichen-covered stones, until they begin to hear the sound of running water.

“We’re close", Felix murmurs, his voice now deeper, echoing softly.

At the end of the path, the forest opens into a small valley. In the center, the lake steams beneath the pale sunlight, ringed with mossy rocks and surrounded by ferns that stubbornly endure the cold. The hot springs bubble here and there, sending sweet vapors into the air, mingled with the scent of wet earth and fallen leaves.

It’s exactly as Hyunjin remembers.

“I already feel warmer", Felix says, smiling at the lake.

Hyunjin looks at him. In the golden glints of sunlight, Felix’s blond hair shines even brighter, full of a light that seems to radiate from within. His freckles speckle his face, his smile gleams, his angelic beauty utterly disarms Hyunjin’s heart.

God, how he adores Felix.

“I bet you want to get in the water", Hyunjin says, crossing his arms.

“Of course I do", Felix answers, already untying his shoes.

Hyunjin watches. First, he kicks off his boots, then peels off the heavy coat and scarf. The pants and shirt follow quickly. He expects Felix, like before, to keep his underclothes on, but no. He strips them off, standing fully naked in front of Hyunjin.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen, taking in the perfect body before him. Not particularly long legs, but rounded in certain places, a short, lightly defined torso, and everything else, Felix is breathtaking.

“Why are you so bold?” Hyunjin laughs through his nose, shaking his head.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Hyun", Felix takes his hand and tugs him closer. “You’ve seen me like this plenty of times.”

“And I’m still amazed", Hyunjin admits, eyes lowered.

“Then I want to be amazed by you too", Felix whispers, rubbing his nose against Hyunjin’s cheek. 

“Take off your clothes and come in with me. Let’s swim together. Hurry, before I freeze to death.”

Hyunjin sighs, feeling the warmth of Felix’s touch and voice spread beneath his skin, as if the heat of the spring already flows inside him, pulsing deep in his chest. He glances around for a moment, as if expecting someone to be watching, but here, outside the mansion, hidden from the world, it’s just the two of them.

“There’s no one here", Felix says, trying to hide his smile behind a scolding look. “No one’s going to show up and catch us. You can relax, hm?”

Felix steps back a little to give Hyunjin room to undress, his bare feet touching the edge of the lake, his skin prickled with cold but his eyes gleaming with mischief. The steam rises around him like a cloak, and his naked body is ethereal, shrouded in a warm, elusive glow. Hyunjin swallows hard.

He shrugs the shawl from his shoulders slowly, then begins unbuttoning the top of his outfit. His fingers tremble a bit, whether from the cold or from Felix, he can’t be sure. Felix watches silently, his gaze hungry and yet gentle, as if every inch of skin revealed is a blessing he dares not interrupt.

When Hyunjin stands nude, the two of them look at each other for a long moment. Neither smiles. 

Their gaze is full of everything that’s been building, desire, fear, the silent hope that this might be the last breath before they dive fully into the ocean of feelings they harbor for one another.

Felix extends his hand. Hyunjin takes it.

They step into the water together, the warmth embracing them instantly, as if the lake was made for them and only them. The contrast between the chilly air and the heat of the spring makes Hyunjin let out a long sigh, his shoulders relaxing, his body surrendering.

Felix gently pulls him closer, until they’re face to face, their skin touching beneath the surface.

“It’s not so different from that other day", he whispers.

“No?” Hyunjin responds.

“Just the two of us, in the water. You looking at me like a scared kitten, while I look at you like a starving wolf.”

“Actually, I think you’re the kitten here", Hyunjin laughs, splashing some water at his face.

Felix bursts into laughter, retaliating with a handful of water splashed back at Hyunjin’s beautiful face.

“Come here", Felix murmurs, pulling their bodies close.

Hyunjin wraps his arms around Felix’s freckled shoulders, their height difference putting Felix’s nose right at his neck. He looks up and their eyes meet. There’s so much there. So much.

“I promise this will all end someday", Felix whispers. “I promise we’ll be free of all this.”

“Really?” Hyunjin suddenly feels his eyes sting.

“Yes", Felix confirms. “I…”

Hyunjin kisses him, silencing him.

The kiss begins calm, slow, their tongues curling inside each other’s mouths. Soon after, it turns urgent, their bodies pressed together beneath the water. Then, they dive, trapped in that kiss that serves as a cry for help, a plea for freedom.

Beneath the surface, their hair floats, dark strands mixing with golden ones, the sun kissing the moon.

Hyunjin feels his chest swell with something he didn’t know how to name before, but now he has no doubt. When they emerge, the kiss is desperate, and Hyunjin pushes Felix until his back is pressed against the same rock where Hyunjin once stood for the first time.

Felix pulls his hair, rubs his scent gland, and in a quick motion, wraps his legs around Hyunjin’s waist, locking them together.

It’s suffocating to be this close to Felix without being able to scream to the world who he belongs to. Hyunjin wants to tear off that patch of skin where Minho’s teeth are still marked, just so he doesn’t have to see someone else’s claim on what is his.

Felix tangles his fingers in his hair, rubs against him, and offers his neck for Hyunjin to kiss. And he does, licking the milky skin while holding him in his arms, tasting him at the tip of his tongue.

“Hyun", Felix says, swallowing hard as he tugs the hair at Hyunjin’s nape.

The brightness of the sky slowly gives way to twilight. Night devours the afternoon, just as Hyunjin is about to devour Felix.

“Hyun", Felix repeats, until Hyunjin looks at him.

Breathless, eyes red with desire and…

(say it now)

“Felix", Hyunjin says.

“Hyunjin", Felix replies.

(say it say it say it)

“I love you", Hyunjin finally says.

It’s like breaking a dam. The words come out carrying everything: the pain of hiding, the joy of living this even in secret, the fear of losing him, the silent certainty that there’s no other path but the one that winds through the curves of the other omega’s body.

Felix stares at him, wide-eyed, breath caught in his chest, as if his heart stopped just to hear those three words. And then, he smiles. Not the mischievous or teasing smile Hyunjin knows so well. It’s a slow smile, tender, almost childlike, from someone who just received the gift they waited their entire life for.

“I love you too", he replies, cupping Hyunjin’s face with both hands. “I love you so much that sometimes I think I’m going to die.”

Hyunjin bites his lip, eyes stinging again. He leans down to kiss Felix once more, this time with more tenderness, lips barely brushing his.

“Don’t die", he whispers against his plump lips. “Live. Live with me the way you taught me to live, please.”

Felix nods, eyes red from the water and from emotion.

“I will live", he says. “For you, with you.”

The sky is now dark blue, speckled with shy stars. The steam from the springs rises around them like a veil. In that moment, between the trees that, according to Felix, can keep their secrets, time stops for the two omegas who dare to love.

Hyunjin grips Felix’s thighs tighter and kisses him again, hard. Then his lips trail down to his neck, stopping at the base where Minho’s mark still lingers, barely visible. Without a word, Hyunjin bites down right on top of it, hard enough to draw a moan from Felix. They lock eyes for a few seconds, just enough for Felix to pull him down and do the same over the mark left by Donghyun’s teeth.

It feels like Hyunjin is breathing for the first time.

He grabs Felix’s ass with both hands, arousal crackling between their bodies. In one swift motion, Felix lifts himself up, and in the next, Hyunjin is fully inside him. The moan that spills from their throats is pure melody. Moans of pleasure, of love, of everything two people can share at their best.

Hyunjin braces himself against the rock, Felix clinging to his hair as he helps guide their rhythm. Inside him is hot and tight, making Hyunjin’s body tremble with every deeper thrust.

“Yes", Felix says, lips caught between his teeth. “Yes, my love. You’re so good…”

Hyunjin presses his forehead against Felix’s wet chest, the moonlight bathing them as the sun once did.

They’re burning, the both of them, together.

With every second, another inch of skin is consumed by the fire of the love that bloomed between them.

Hyunjin thrusts harder, Felix moans, delirious with pleasure. He throws his head back against the warm rock as the other omega fucks him, their scents blending, their slicks lost in the water.

They kiss again as they move in sync. Hyunjin sucks Felix’s tongue into his mouth and, with a long, drawn-out moan, they both come.

Felix’s wings tear open his back once more, wrapping around them in the water. Hyunjin hears the soft rustle of feathers and, right after, the warmth that envelops them.

Felix spills between their stomachs and Hyunjin inside him, the heat intensified by the steaming water melting their skin.

“It’s night", Felix says, breathing unevenly as he runs his fingers through Hyunjin’s wet hair. “We have to go back.”

Hyunjin stares at him. Tangled lashes, red and swollen lips, eyelids half-closed in the haze of overwhelming pleasure. His eyes shimmer with tears of passion.

“How much longer will we have to go back?” Hyunjin asks, the pain clear in his voice.

“How much longer can you take it?”

Instead of answering, Hyunjin kisses him.

That is his answer, the truest one of all.

He would endure forever if it meant having Felix in his arms.

His angel.

His demon.

The sun that burned him and then rebuilt him; that gave him the most precious gift anyone could offer, the freedom to be who he is.